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Jeremy rarely had anxiety attacks this bad anymore, they were seniors and although he never would grow out of his introverted anxious self completely, there was improvement, and the improvements were visible, first things first- he got his shit together and him and Michael both apologized for there actions, finding a way to rebuild the bond that had crumbled a month prior, then both took the break from each other- Michael’s moms taking him on holiday to de-stress and think through, there he saw there were certain ways he didn’t help out his friend, and could have approached the situation in a different way, while jeremy found that hanging out with Rich and Jake was nicer now, he was still TallAss, the dork and nerdy around them- but they must have seen a certain charm in the real jeremy, since a bond between them was created, a friendship between himself and Jake, and an understanding between himself and Rich, that slowly grew into a healthy friendship, of course there was a fair share of talking out, apologies and feelings spilled then, and if one, or all, of them had cried, that had stayed between them.
Jeremy became more confident in the way he walked, in Michael and there friendship, and himself. He would smile more, laugh more and just let himself be his true self, instead of an awkward boring guy, trying to get through high school.
But sometimes, things wouldn’t go great, and Michael had a plan for those times, apart of the unspoken agreement to be better friends with each other, Michael had a little plan. If Jeremy ever had an attack and he comes to Michael, he has the Mountain Dew red, a comfort drink they both very quickly found out that Jeremy likes, chewing gum, because Jeremy tends to hit his lips a lot when scared, and Michael found the most effective way to stop him was chewing gum, and coding. Course the last one sounded weird, but it was true- they had this small arrangement they both knew, Michel would sit at his desk, his pc being the only light illuminating his basement bedroom, jeremy would sit himself of Michael’s lap, his eyes would always almost instantly fixate on the screen, following the curser around and watching as Michael created game mechanics, sometimes he would simply watch and hug a blanket or a pillow, sometimes he would sketch and watch, switching between the two activities as he pleased, these were normally more minor attacks, maybe a nightmare or someone touched his electrocution scares on accident. the worse times, he would curl up against Michael, eyes puffy and red and freckled cheeks tear stained. He always found himself in a soft red fabric, a bit too big for his frame, it felt warm and soft against his more petite frame and the smell was reminiscent of safety and home, like any other time, his eyes would settle on the screen and watched as Michael worked, he liked it.. because it meant that he could relax and Michael could work on his passion project. Sometimes he would feel the arm around his waist, giving him a reassuring hug while Michael waited for the mechanism to load into the core program, or something it would be a quick ruffle of his hair, or small kisses in his hair, jeremy loved those moments, on the edge of his despair, Michael was always there to help with the dark days.
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Today was one of the worst ones, jeremy felt overwhelmed and scared by the end of it, like he was a glass and anything else or one slight nudge would send the water spilling, and by water, it meant the tears, panics and shaking. His hands were shaking, that was the first sign for Michael, he could tell something had happened, but he observed more to see how bad jeremy felt about this. His eyes on the ground, biting the inside of his lip, toying with the locket on his neck, and it was only lynch so this meant bad, he looked over to Christine, far as he knew, she was the one in his theatre class. Michael made mention of the warning signs and noted to Christine to watch out. Christine agreed within an instant and lunch went on, no one blamed jeremy for being quiet, they all had mutual understanding that.. days were a lot rougher sometimes, and they did the same for rich, if he wasn’t feeling his normal bubbly self, they would let him have his time and offer to help.
The rest of lunch pasted like a blur to Michael, as did his music lesson, it was theory and he had taken music for the practical, not writing about old musician and technical language, that was until he got a message from Christine, he excused himself and ran to the theatre classroom, almost tripping a few times- Christine hadn’t been detailed in her text, she didn’t need to be when it came to Michael, he was good with Jeremy’s anxiety, and he pretty much knew the best ways to calm him down, one of the useful things that came with their long friendship.
He walked in, shooting Christine a look before heading over to the now curled up, teary eyes jeremy. Michael’s eyes softened, looking at Jeremy and offering his hand. Jeremy’s crystal blue eyes met Michael’s soft brown ones and the sight of his best friend removed the weight from his shoulders. Michael held out a hand and felt jeremy hold into it, he pulled his smaller frame close to his own body and put a protective arm around the smaller boy’s waist. Jeremy knew he would have been blushing if his cheeks were already hot and red from his tears. His head was spinning but he felt himself being guided by Michael, he stayed close to the Filipino’s warmth as the tears and quick breaths kept coming. He could feel himself being lead to Michael’s car- he could only assume they were leaving early. The contact broke and Jeremy curled in on himself, until he felt a hand rest on his knee, Michael’s hand. He looked over to see the older boy hand gotten into the drivers seat of his red pt cruiser and was now smiling softly at him.
“I’m gonna have to drive, okay jer- but.. we can cuddle and just relax as soon as we get to my house, you okay with that..?”
Michael awaited an answer and got a soft nod from Jeremy, he assumed the boy was in a non-verbal state, a thing that often happened when he panicked like this. With the signal of the plan being okay, Michael drove them back to his house, humming along softly to the quiet noise coming from the radio.
He gazed over at Jeremy after parking the car and couldn’t help but blush at the sight, the sun reflected against the smaller boys face, his eyes were big and glossed over, his cheeks and under eyes were tainted red from the crying, now replaced with tiny sniffles. His hands were tucked into his sleeves, as he used the fabric to soothe the soreness and wiped the last of the tears away from his eyes. Michael gazed at him for a while, before snapping from his dazed state by a slightly loud sniffle coming from jeremy, he looked up at Michael with his big blue eyes and looked at if he would start crying again, Michael sighed and ruffled his hair, he paired that with pressing a finger to his nose and was pleased to hear a quiet giggle escape the boy.
Michael exited the care and assisted jeremy out after, he held out a hand to him and Jeremy complied, the two walked into the mell residence and headed down to the basement, not before jeremy got a chance to pet muffin, Michael’s family dog.
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Once they reached the basement, the pair of friends sat on the bed and Michael took of his signature red hoodie, draping it over the smaller boy and smiling with the same softness he had earlier in the drama room. He let Jeremy adjust and sat down at his desk, he might as well get something done since he knew his friend could handles himself from there.
Around twenty minutes past before Michael felt a tap on his shoulder, he took his headphones off and glanced at jeremy, looking at him questioningly at him. Jeremy shifted under Michael’s gaze and smiled weakly.
“You wanna do the normal thing jere..?”
Michael received a nod in response and smiled, shuffling a little to make room for Jeremy, he let the boy rest on his lap felt Jeremy’s back press against his chest. He rested his head on jeremys shoulder and looked at the screen.
this was both nice and painful for Michael to endure, he was happy to help jeremy and enjoyed the special touches they shared, but Michael always knew in his heart that they were just friends, he heart hurt to remember this was only platonic and that was how it would always remain, his spare hand found it’s way to Jeremy’s and the smaller boy intertwined their fingers together in a gentle hold. Michael blushed at the contact since jeremy hardly initiated contact, especially like that, but still, who was he to deny it.
These moments were small and platonic, they were best friends and that was how they remained, and that’s what made this bittersweet, the moments they shared, the bond they had, it was simply platonic.. and Michael could only learn to accept that with time.