Chapter Text
“You saved me?” John Sheppard asked obtusely, looking down at the now-dead soldier that had attempted to blast a hole through his chest. He kept his gun aimed towards them, as if he were afraid they would get back up again. Todd nodded.
“Yes; I like you better alive,” he answered simply.
“What would you like about me?” The question carried no real meaning behind it, just an automatic response John’s mind gave, though that wasn’t to say that he considered him and Todd to be on the best of terms. He was simply unable to give a better response as his mind was still trying to process his near-death experience. His mind still swarmed with adrenaline, so intensely focused and so unaware at the same time, which was strange, as he was usually more level-headed in these kinds of situations; then again, this was a strange day, even for Atlantis. John was not expecting an answer; he wasn’t really expecting anything, his mind too caught up in his previous panic to make predictions. The question did not require an answer, and Todd knew that, but he felt it was one worth answering; it might be his last chance to answer it.
“Your sense of honor,” Todd answered frankly.
“Huh?” John turned his head to look up at Todd, both surprised and confused. Todd turned his gaze from the dead soldier up to Sheppard, and repeated:
“I admire your sense of honor. You have a sense of honor, of integrity, honesty, and courage, that is hard to find even in the highest ranks of Wraith during this war.” Todd’s voice still conveyed nothing but frank seriousness, and his expression matched. He turned his full body to face Sheppard and took a few steps towards him as he talked. "You are a warrior, a leader; men like you command fleets, armies. You are dangerous, a true force to be reckoned with, but you have the control of your emotions, of yourself, to keep yourself from harming your own, and to do what you need to. When I told you that I would rather never see you again than face you as an enemy, I was telling the truth, both because I consider you a brother and would never wish to fight you, but also because if I fought you, I might not come out alive.”
That might have been too much. Even though Todd had already decided to and resolved himself to do so, there was still that little part in the back of his mind that told him that it was a bad idea to tell Sheppard all of this, and that part of his mind spoke from experience. That small part in the back of his mind that he knew he should listen to begging for him to please, shut up, battling with some other part of his mind that was begging him to give in just this once, the part of his mind telling him that he hadn't said nearly enough.
Todd straightened up a little, collecting and attempting to redirect himself back to a less... vulnerable line of conversation.
“Most importantly, you have morals, and have always kept your word. When we first met, and you promised me that you would not kill me, that we would remain allies until we reached the gate and parted ways, you kept that promise. When I said I did not truly expect you to honor it, I meant that as well. I was not surprised at all when you shot me, I was surprised when I woke up.” Todd walked toward Sheppard until he was within just about a foot of him, leaning in towards him in a way that he did not intend to be threatening, but more as to get closer to him. He couldn’t admit everything to Sheppard, but he could say at least a few things.
“I admire that about you, John Sheppard.” Todd said Sheppard’s name in what was almost a purr, and John could have sworn that Todd’s pupils were a lot bigger than they were before. Todd's expression carried an honesty that John hadn’t seen since they first met. “You have confidence in both your actions and your words, and the strength and courage to overcome the greatest adversities. That strength within you; that was what made me believe despite everything that you could get us out.”
Todd felt safe around Sheppard, well, as safe as he could feel around anyone anymore, but he definitely wouldn’t tell him that. Over ten-thousand years of experience told him that that would be unwise to admit to anyone, no matter who they were. It was bad enough that he just felt any semblance of trust and safety around anyone, but to admit it might as well be suicide. He could never let it be known.
It wasn’t just that he idolized Sheppard’s character, he felt a sense of gratitude towards him. He had been stuck in that prison for so long. He had lost hope, had said things he’d never thought he’d hear himself say: that there was no escape, that there was no hope. He had been so beaten down, so conditioned to and because of his torture, that he had given up. Sheppard had given him new hope.
What he’d given Sheppard dwarfed in comparison to what Sheppard had given him. Todd would never take freedom for granted again, or a man like John Sheppard for granted again; he needed to tell him.
“You have given me back my life, John Sheppard...” he paused for dramatic effect and to lean in just a little closer, “thank you.”
John blinked, frozen in place and silent, not sure how to respond to such sincerity from Todd. He wanted to respond, to not just stare at Todd like an idiot. He also didn’t want to make himself appear vulnerable in front of a Wraith, even this Wraith. Eventually, he decided to return the compliment:
“If I had to pick one thing I like best about you, I‘d have to say it’s your sense of humor.” John said awkwardly. Todd tilted his head at John’s response, but to John’s relief, gave no signs of displeasure, instead giving a stone-faced expression.
“Yes, back on the Hive, I was known as ‘the funny one’.”