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Carlos was sitting on the couch, his hand running through TK’s hair. TK was stretched out over the couch, his head resting in his lap while they watched a movie. Carlos’s phone buzzed and he glanced at it and frowned.
“Hey, Ty?” Carlos asked softly; the blond hummed his reply, not fully looking up at him. He hesitated. “You busy tomorrow night?”
TK thought about that for a moment. “No, I’ve got the day off. Why?” He looked up at him and frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Do you want to come to dinner with me?”
TK nodded suspiciously. “Yeah, always. Why’d that make you so nervous?”
“Dinner with me…” he repeated slowly. “And my parents…” TK let out a small oh and it made Carlos panic. “You don’t have to come, if you don’t want to. I just… I want to tell them. About us.”
TK shifted. “Are you sure?”
“What do mean ‘am I sure’? You’re the one who made a big deal about me not telling them in the first place.”
“I know,” he sighed. “But, I also said I was okay with whatever you wanted to tell them we were. I want to make sure you’re doing this for you, not for me.”
Carlos searched his eyes and realized something: he was tired. Not physically but in every other way. He was tired of faking it to his parents. And, yeah, they’d said they were supportive, but they weren’t, not really. Not in any way that mattered.
Before he had come out to them, his biggest fear wasn’t that they’d kick him out, he knew they wouldn’t do that. He was scared- terrified, actually- that they would say something that they couldn’t take back. But when they didn’t say anything? That had been worse. They never mentioned it again, he never brought a boyfriend home to meet his parents in; he’d felt so isolated and uncomfortable just telling them he was dating TK, let alone that he was the love of his life.
He was tired of the comments about his lack of a love life when he met up with his family at his tía’s. He hated how his mom would say “he’ll find someone.” And how he just sat back and took it.
It wasn’t until TK’s hand was on his cheek did he notice he was crying. TK had sat up and situated himself cross legged next to him. Carlos pushed his hand away and stood.
“Babe, talk to me…”
“I’m going to bed,” he mumbled as he started up the stairs.
“Are you ready?” TK asked, looking over at Carlos, who was staring apprehensively at the front door.
“Is it too late to drive away?”
“Absolutely not.”
Carlos raised an eyebrow. “Is that a ‘no, it’s not too late’ or ‘no, don’t you dare’?”
“The first one,” TK said with a small smile. “We don’t have to do this tonight, not if you don’t want to-“
“But I do want to,” Carlos stressed. “You’re important to me and they need to know that.
TK nodded, his smile spreading a little. “Okay, I’ll follow your lead.”
Carlos felt a warm feeling blossom in his chest and he wanted nothing more than to go home and kiss TK senseless.
Instead, he settled for a soft thank you and gave TK’s hand one more squeeze because he was in his parent’s driveway and that is not how he wanted them to find out.
“Carlitos!”
He climbed out and met TK around the front of the car.
“Hey, Mom,” he said, pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. He gestured to his boyfriend. “You remember TK?”
“From the market?”
TK smiled and held his hand out to her. “Mrs. Reyes, how are you?”
She took his hand but pulled him into a hug. Carlos gave him an apologetic look over her shoulder.
“It’s nice of you to join us for dinner, TK,” she said. “Come on you two, dinner’s almost ready.
“Right behind you,” Carlos said, stopping TK by the wrist before he got too far.
“Are you okay?”
“What if I back out?”
“What?"
“What if I can’t work up the nerve? What if I’ve gone through all this trouble and-“
“No matter what happens, I’m right by your side,” TK said, unknowingly supplying him with every last bit of confidence.
God, he loved him.
“Okay, let’s do this.”
“Yeah?” TK grinned.
He took a breath and looked into the house. “…maybe.”
He parked the car but couldn’t bring himself to move further than that. He felt TK’s eyes on him and he clenched his jaw and focused on the building in front of him and tried not to think of anything.
Which, given the eventful last few hours, was easier said than done.
They are nice people, he had told TK. But…they’re not perfect people.
And, god, how they had proved that today.
TK reached over and turned the car off.
“Are you mad?” Carlos asked in a small voice.
“Not at you.”
He let out a small breath. “I’m sorry you had to hear all of that.”
“It’s not your fault,” TK answered simply, slipping his fingers between Carlos’. “Hey…look at me.”
Carlos did and he had to bite his lip to keep it from trembling. “I’m sorry-“
“Stop. You did nothing wrong,” he said, his voice was soft but the honesty and sincerity in his eyes added a sense of stubbornness hidden in the words. “I am so proud of you, babe.”
Carlos looked away, taking a deep breath as a tear slipped down his cheek.
“It wasn’t supposed to go like that, they weren’t…they weren’t supposed to say those things, they were supposed to be supportive.”
He hit the top of the steering wheel with his free hand and felt TK jump a little. But he didn’t say anything.
“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that,” Carlos muttered.
“Well, to be fair, I didn’t understand some of it,” TK shrugged, attempting a small smile. “You know my Spanish is rusty, at best.”
Carlos sighed and looked down at their hands, studying them. He ran his thumb over TK’s knuckles and traced a small pattern on the back of his hand.
“Babe,” TK said after a few minutes. “Let’s go inside. We can go to bed and put the night behind us.”
“I won’t be able to.”
TK raised an eyebrow. “Why not?”
Carlos let out a noise, something like a scoff mixed with a sob.
“Because they’re my parents, Ty. It’s different than guys at Marjan’s derbies making comments. It’s different than the people who give us weird looks because we don’t ever have to see those people again. But…” He trailed off and shook his head, resting it against his seat.
“I get it, Carlos-“
“How could you get it?” He said flatly. “Your parents are the most accepting people in the world.”
“My parents aren’t the only ones I’ve come out to,” he said, shifting a little. “There was more to my family than them. I came out to my firehouse and they had to be careful because of my dad but that didn’t stop them from being assholes.”
Carlos didn’t look up at him, focusing on the sleeve his was tugging on. He watched as TK pulled his hand away and heard him get out of the car.
Great, and now he’s mad. God, he was just messing everything up today.
He thought back to what his father had said. He’d said that he thought Carlos was passed all this by now, and that he was disappointed in him, and that he didn’t want to see him again until he got his shit together. And his mom had just sat there and let him say all of it. When Carlos had looked to her for support, she had turned away.
And that had broken him.
There was a tap on his window and he jumped a little. He saw TK but didn’t look up at his face.
“Get out of the car, babe.”
He hesitated for a moment before doing as he was told, looking around the street, focusing on his house.
“Let’s go in and we can talk there,” TK said softly.
Carlos let him take his hand and gently pull him toward the door. He didn’t want to talk; he was tired of talking, of hiding, of pretending. He was just tired.
When TK opened the door, he pulled him toward the couch but Carlos tugged him up the stairs instead. He felt the moment of hesitation before TK followed. TK sat on the bed, resting against the head board, and pulled Carlos with him, wrapping his arms around him. Carlos curled into him, his head resting against his chest.
He felt safe, curled up in the love of his life’s arms, listening to his heart beat. He wanted to stay here forever, to keep him close, where neither of them would be hurt again. And he wanted to tell TK that.
But all that came out was a soft “I love you, Ty.”
TK pressed a kiss to his head. “I love you too.”
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