Chapter Text
Wilbur: Someone here is a traitor.
Tubbo: Don’t worry, I got a plan.
Wilbur: Alright.
Tubbo: Traitorsaywhat?
Fundy: Excuse me?
Tommy: Huh?
Eret: What?
Wilbur:
Tubbo:
Eret:
Eret: No wait--
Tommy, holding a python: Guys, I impulsively bought a snake, what do I name him
Wilbur: You did what--
Technoblade: William Snakespeare
Philza: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste.
Technoblade: We got spring water
Philza: NO.
Wilbur: With EXTRA minerals.
Tommy: It’s like licking a stalagmite!
Philza: DON’T COME HOME.
Technoblade: Mmmmm cave water
BadBoyHalo: Everyone, synchronize your watches!
Skeppy: Make me.
Quackity: I don’t know how to.
Sapnap: Bold of you to assume I wear a watch.
Karl: Time is a construct.
Philza: Good morning!
Wilbur: Good morning.
Technoblade: Good morning.
Tubbo: You all sound like robots. Try spicing it up a bit.
Tommy, bursting into the room: MORNING MOTHERFU--
Dream: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!
George: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Dream: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING SAPNAP WITH ME!
Sapnap, picking up the monopoly board: Okay, I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
Tommy: Tubbo, I’m sad.
Tubbo: *holds out arms for a hug* It’s gonna be okay.
Wilbur: Techno, I’m sad.
Technoblade, nodding: mood.
Dream: How many kids do you have?
Philza:
Philza: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?
Technoblade: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can’t have you asking any questions why.
Dream: Only if you don’t ask why either.
Dream: *pulls out seven pristine human skulls* Take your pick.
Technoblade:
Dream:
Technoblade: This one is fine
Skeppy: Fuck.
BadBoyHalo: We’ve got to work on your cursing.
Skeppy: Why? I’m pretty good at cursing already.
Tommy: He’s a theif.
Technoblade: Thief.
Tommy: Theif.
Technoblade: I before E, except after C.
Tommy: Thceif.
Technoblade: No.
Tommy: I was arrested for being too cool.
Tubbo: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.
Philza: Wilbur was banned from the chicken shack, so we had to go out of town to get some.
Wilbur: Well, they shouldn’t say ‘all you can eat’ if they don’t mean it.
Philza: Wil, you ate a chair.
Sapnap: Man, I only ever see you awake, do you ever shut down or stop running?
Dream: Oh, I’m always running
Dream: The question is from what
Wilbur: What’s up guys? I’m back.
Tommy: What the-- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.
Wilbur: Death is a social construct.
Tubbo: I think I’m having a mid-life crisis.
Schlatt: You’re like 16 years old.
Tubbo: I MIGHT DIE AT 32!
Philza: So what’s for dinner?
Ranboo, staring at the food he just burnt: Regret.
Philza: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?
Wilbur: Have everyone stand.
Tubbo: Bring three more chairs!
Tommy: The most important ones can sit down.
Technoblade: Kill three.