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The cold and early month of February was the perfect opportunity for Gotham citizens to enjoy the warmth and calm of their home, while the rest of the city got on with their own business. At night however, it seemed like the city, asleep during the day, suddenly awakened, filling the streets with animation of all sorts.
This was not exactly your case; you always considered yourself an indoor cat, fearful of the most minor inconvenience of the world. If you heard the mob was in your neighborhood for business, you would not leave your apartment for days. Particularly anxious during night time, when you were unable to clearly see your surroundings, you lived a more or less sheltered life.
Which made you even less sure how your friend Sasha convinced you to go out, that night. Instead of spending the evening at home, watching a documentary or a movie, you reluctantly followed her in a rather sketchy underground bar you have never heard of, promising you it would be exciting.
Sasha always had a taste for danger, delicate situations and anything thrilling. You envied her for that; while she was full of life, you remained scared and anxious of the smallest inconvenience. Yet, every once in a while, she managed to take you out of your cocoon, which was most often painful and uncomfortable.
As for tonight, painful and uncomfortable were both understatements. The bar looked more like a hideout for all the shady individuals of Gotham. It reeked of alcohol, sweat, probably piss; the music, aggressive and way too loud, was perforating your eardrums; odd individuals were staring at you from every corner of the place. Sasha put an affectionate hand on yours, squeezing it gently, telling you everything was okay. She was neither convincing, nor reassuring.
Shaking on your chair, you stared at the people composing the crowd; you found them fascinating with their unique over-the-top looks, insane haircuts, and their general presence. In the distance, you noticed someone that particularly piqued your interest. You hit Sasha with your elbow and pointed your chin in his direction.
– Look at the guy in the booth over there, his whole face is painted !” you practically yelled in her ear. Her eyes immediately shined with excitement, and a wide smile appeared on her face.
– Are you kidding me ?! Do you know who he is ?” she asked in a high pitched voice. “He goes by the name of Joker, you know, because of his face ? I’ve heard he was a new tough one in Gotham” she then explained.
– How the hell do you know all of this ?” you chuckled nervously. She gestured in the air and rolled her eyes.
– You should go out more often. Look, I want to talk to him ! Keep my stuff, alright ?”
She did not even finish her sentence that she left your table, walking towards the Joker. He was talking with other men, most definitely as sketchy as him, not paying any attention to your friend coming in his direction. You observed her, anxious, mumbling “this is not a good idea, this is not a good idea…”
When she reached his table, he seemed unimpressed, almost bothered, and remained silent, absentmindedly looking at her. She casually sat next to him, and started talking, laughing, sometimes touching his arm or playing with her hair. Her fascination with bad guys will get her in trouble one day, you thought, but you envied her nerve and undeniable charisma. You could never be like her. You looked at your drink, trying to not get the attention of anyone around.
You took a sip of your drink and sighed, your fingers drumming nervously on the glass, desperately waiting for the time to pass. Not looking at Sasha anymore, you were simply lost in your thoughts for several minutes. Then, you heard a faint and small noise that did not belong to the crowd or the blasting music. You frowned your brow, until you realized it was your phone ringing. Rushing into your bag, you took your phone in your hand and left the table, directing yourself to a calmer place –which would be the exit.
Zigzagging between the crowd, avoiding busy waiters, it felt like you were swimming against the current; your eyes were at every corner except in front of you. As one could expect, you finally crashed into someone. The shock made you lose balance, as your phone slipped from your hand and hit the floor. As you crouched to find your now silent phone, your eyes met with the Joker’s, evidently looking for something that fell during the shock.
– I’m so, so , sorry ! I wasn’t looking in front of me !” you immediately apologized, terrified. He was even more impressive now that he was right in front of you. He cocked an eyebrow, and put his mouth against your ear.
– You look lost ” he said loudly, trying to speak over the ambient noise. You nervously chuckled, not wanting to upset him. Once you collected yourself, you stood up and looked at him, smiling shyly. You hesitated for a second, then sakingly approached yourself to his ear.
– I’m not– I’m not familiar with that kind of places” you stuttered. Now close to him, you could smell his odor; a delicate mix of perfume and gunpowder. “I came with someone but… I don’t like crowds” you punctuated, removing yourself from him.
– You sound so serious, you know ?” He tilted his head and smiled at you. You chuckled nervously.
– Yeah… I really should do something about it” you concluded. He hummed and nodded his head before leaving the bar without looking back. You looked at his silhouette disappearing in the darkness when you felt an arm grabbing you. Sasha’s touch made you jump.
– Where were you ?! I went to the bathroom for a minute and you left !” She yelled, visibly worried for you.
The anxiety, the stress, added to the awfully loud music and adrenaline, made you feel nauseous and unable to answer. Your friend grabbed your coat and took you by the arm, leaving the bar at once, silently.
The cold air on your skin helped with the tension, and soon you felt better.
– I’m sorry, I thought we’d have fun’’ Sasha apologized, still holding your arm, as you walked to your place. You negatively nodded in response.
– I had fun. Just a lot of emotions for me tonight’’ you shakily answered, unable to fully tell her the truth about your encounter with the Joker. Sasha sighed, and offered you a sympathetic smile.
– I guess so. Still, I’m glad you tried. Thank you.’’
Once safely arrived at home, you hugged Sasha goodbye and thanked her for the evening. Immediately after, you threw away your coat, shoes, and crashed on your bed, unable to process the surrealism of your evening. Part of you was still terribly anxious from your encounter with a real criminal.
Your thoughts got interrupted by an unfamiliar vibrating noise, similar to a phone alert. You frowned your brow, then fumbled into your pocket to retrieve your phone, or rather a very similar phone. You gasped when you realized the phone you had in your hands was not yours, and panicked at the unread message icon displayed on the screen.
Panicked, you felt your heart racing, and tried to think of a solution to your rather unfortunate situation. After a long and painful hesitation, you opened the phone and ran through the contacts, in an attempt to see a familiar name such as ‘‘Home’’, ‘‘Mom’’, ‘‘Dad’’, or really anyone you could call to inform where this phone
When you realized that there was not a single contact saved in the phone, you frowned your brow. You then tried to look at the call history, but it was empty, probably deleted. The blinking symbol of the unread message felt very tempting, but you convinced yourself that you simply needed more information about the phone’s owner. You opened the messages history, which was completely empty besides this one unread message. Your heart skipped a beat when you realized the unread message was sent from your own number, then immediately opened it.
‘‘I believe you have something that belongs to me’’ That was the entire message, no name, no other information. You replayed the evening in your head over and over again, until you remembered colliding with the Joker and losing your phone. You remembered him crouching on the floor as well, looking for something he lost when you bumped into him –was it his phone ? Your fingers shakily typed an answer.
‘‘I swear it’s an honest mistake ! I’m so sorry ! Tell me how I can give it back to you !’’
He did not answer your message. You spent the rest of the night panicked and terrified, tossing around in bed, trying to rationalize the situation –and most importantly, making a mental inventory of everything private and intimate on your phone, pictures and messages that should be seen by no one else besides you. Eventually, you fell asleep, thinking that your dignity was now probably ruined.
*
The first thing you did as soon as you woke up the next morning was checking the phone, and sighing when you still noticed no answer. The rest of the day went by uncomfortably; a painfully long agony triggering your anxiety, until you heard the phone vibrating again in the evening. In less than a second, you opened the message, and opened wide eyes at the picture, with no message attached.
It was a picture of the sea. Confused at first, you looked at it more precisely and noticed familiar lights, and the part of a sign. You knew this place, you were certain of it, but where could it be ? It has been quite some time now, since the last time you went to that part of Gotham, so it took you awhile to guess where it was, until it became clear as day: this was near the fish restaurant in the old port.
You figured this was where he wanted to meet you, but your mind was screaming not to go, that it was dangerous, especially in the darker times of the day. A few tears shined in your eyes, as you felt paralyzed with fear, but you finally shook your head. He could already easily know where you lived, what your name was; if there was one time you needed to be brave it would be today. Besides, you started to be tired of being scared all the time.
While you lived relatively close to the old port, it took you some time to feel ready to leave your apartment. You arrived at the destination nearly one hour after you received his message, and wondered if the Joker would even still be there.
In the thick darkness of the night, it was difficult to identify much around you. Fortunately, you spotted the lights of the restaurant in the distance. Once in front of the building, you looked at the picture you received, trying to find his exact position. Walking backwards, scanning the perimeter, it seemed like you never had the exact same angle or distance. It seemed like he was on top of something.
You reached a boathouse with a broken lock; once you made sure no one was around, you decided to enter it. Next to the door, there was a flight of stairs. Your heart was pounding in your chest, every fiber of your body was advising you against taking the stairs, but for a brief moment you felt some sort of excitement. Slowly, you reached the top of the stairs, and noticed a window facing the restaurant. You took out the phone and compared the view with the picture; this is where he was.
Looking around you to find him, you found a tin box on the border of the window. You hesitated for a while, then delicately held it, inspected it, then opened it. Inside, there was a piece of paper with a few words written on it: ‘‘Better luck next time, let’s play again ?’’
Slipping the paper between your fingers, you tried to find a clue, a meaning behind the words, then held the tin box, inspecting it. It was a rusty, old and vintage tin box, nothing unusual about it. You put the piece of paper in it, and carefully put the box in your pocket before heading back home.
Once at home, you played with the message, turning it upside down, observing it in the light, moving it every way possible, but nothing came to your mind. With your other hand, you took the tin box, rubbing the cold metal with your thumb, until an idea appeared in your head. ‘‘Next time… Play again…’’ these tin boxes are often recycled into vintage toys, you remembered seeing them at the fair.
Immediately, you grabbed your coat and left in the middle of the night. The cold air on your burning cheeks soothed your anxiety, even your fear. You felt excited, somehow, when you arrived at the fair, still largely crowded despite how late it was. Navigating between the people, you looked for the booth selling tin toys. Your eyes widened and you could not refrain from laughing when you finally noticed the matching pattern of your tin box on delicate toys in front of you.
You felt triumphant and excited. You then looked around you, walking around, until you saw a familiar silhouette from the back. Almost certain it was the Joker, talking to some men, you cautiously waited near a tree, observing him. His head slightly turned into your direction, and the view of his makeup confirmed his identity. You smiled widely, happy with yourself.
Once the men left, you walked closer to the Joker. You gently pulled his coat, making him turn and cock an eyebrow.
– Found you !’’ You proudly said, forgetting for a second who he was. He smiled, licked his lips and laughed.
– Took you long enough’’ he playfully answered, handing you your phone. As you reached your hand to take it, he grabbed your arm and pulled you against him. Before you could protest, you felt his lips on yours, warm and soft. You looked at him with confused eyes. The kiss he stole from you was brief, but its warmth did not leave you for a while, while you felt them grazing at your earlobe.
– Your turn now. Go hide’’ he whispered in your ear before disappearing in the crowd.
You stayed frozen in place for a while, mesmerized by what just happened, while looking at his silhouette progressing in the unbothered crowd, before heading back home. You felt butterflies in your stomach, your mind was racing; a rush of adrenaline and excitement ran through your veins, something you were not used to. A wide smile appeared on your face, a feeling of pride and happiness snuggly embraced you. You did not even mind the stolen kiss.
*
The next day, you woke up happy and relaxed. After you stretched in your bed, you took your phone and examined it, wondering how many things the Joker looked in it. Did he open your messages ? Did he take a look at your pictures ? Hoping he was not too indiscreet, you then looked at the messages he sent you, realizing you now had his phone number. To your surprise, you really wanted to meet him again.
You spent the afternoon actively thinking of a riddle of some sort, an invitation to find you. In town, you looked at the gardens of Gotham, the tall buildings, even the marketplace, but nothing really inspired you. Until you waited at a busy intersection, surrounded by signs and commercials. Swallowed in the sea of posters, you saw one that piqued your interest; an exhibition at the Gotham museum.
Satisfied with this information, you walked a few steps back, and took a broad picture of the crowded intersection, the poster for the museum barely visible, drowned in the multiple frames. You took a look at your work, and shyly smiled, biting your lip nervously. Your heart was pounding in your chest, and you even managed to silence the anxious voice in your head asking what the hell you were doing. This sentiment was brand new to you, and you liked it.
During the evening, as if it was a first date, you spent a long time getting pretty, selecting a nice outfit, debating on your hairstyle… A wide smile on your face, you could barely recognize the woman in the mirror; not that you physically looked different, but you exhaled a ferocious confidence –or perhaps faked a confidence, but you decided it was good enough. Before leaving your apartment, you sent the picture to the Joker.
The important crowd at the museum was unexpected; while you knew it was a big opening, you still wondered whether he would catch you, reveal himself even.
As your usual nature, you firstly felt slightly uncomfortable, surrounded by people, away from your protective bubble; but you did not want to give up yet. For the first part of the evening, you spent it in a corner, looking at your feet, your fingers nervously drumming on your bag, one hand checking your phone every couple of minutes. When you noticed no answer whatsoever from the Joker, you could not help but feel sad, and stupid.
After an hour, you finally felt comfortable enough to explore the museum, even talk to some people. They sounded nice, interesting, and you wondered how many occasions to have fun you lost secluded at home. As the evening progressed, you felt more relaxed, even happy. You promised to remember how your discomfort let go, and how you did not have to fear everything constantly.
The opening was almost over, yet the crowd did not reduce one bit. You took another glance at your phone and sighed when there was still no answer from the Joker. Wondering whether you should call it a night and leave while you are still in a good mood or wait longer, your phone finally chirped, as if he heard your thoughts somehow.
You immediately opened the message, it was a picture; a beautiful view of the garden of Gotham by night, taken from a high spot. Not familiar with that angle, you turned around and faced the bay windows of the museum; you could see the magnificent garden, meaning the Joker was somewhere in the building. Your heart started pounding again, and you smiled so widely it almost hurt.
Quickly but discreetly, you took the elevator. You pestered when you noticed that you needed a key to access the very last floor, but still managed to access the floor right underneath it. Once you found the staircase, you looked for a fire escape, or any door that would make you access the rooftop, which you eventually found after a couple of minutes. Your hand on the door handle, you froze, wondering what was wrong with you. It was most probably illegal to go there, and the fearful creature inhabiting you came back.
Not tonight, you thought. For one night, you want to enjoy life, enjoy the thrill, enjoy being happy. You opened the door, and ran to the top of the stairs in one breath, your heart racing, and kept going up until you accessed the rooftop of the museum, finally.
You walked around, looking at the city of Gotham, infinitely smaller from here. The stars were shiny in the dark sky, the air was cold and freezing in your simple outfit. The noise of the crowd was now very faint, almost imperceptible; you enjoyed this moment of calm. In this very moment, you felt confident, strong, and happy. You achieved something you never thought you could.
You heard footsteps, and immediately turned around. Excited to see the Joker, you laughed, and ran a hand in your hair. His bare face revealed his incredibly soft features. He was wearing civilian clothes, most probably to not get seen from anyone. His laugh penetrated your skin, sunk into your heart.
– We really have to stop running into each other like that, you know ?’’ He chuckled. You smiled and nodded in response.
– You found me’’ you whispered, looking at him. Up until now, you were certain it was the other way around. The Joker cocked an eyebrow, got closer to you and delicately grabbed the back of your head. You closed your eyes.
– Yeah, I did’’ he softly responded, before planting a soft kiss on your lips that sounded like a promise.