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For the first time in his life, Luke hesitates outside the garage. He knows Bobby will be in there despite the late hour, because Bobby is an insomniac who’s only ever at peace with a guitar in his hands. It’s not unusual for Luke to slink into the studio at any and every hour of the night and just plop down next to him. Most of the time, they talk, but sometimes they just exist next to each other, and that’s enough.
Luke doesn’t want to just exist tonight. He wants to do something stupid; something bold. A first step towards his future. Part of him wishes his other bandmates were here with him, but he knows he wouldn’t be able to handle having with all their eyes on him. Besides, Bobby is the only one who actually knows how to do this, and there’s something so comforting about his steady support. He never questions or prods, just does as he’s asked and assures his friends in his own quiet way that they’re loved. That’s what Luke needs tonight.
He takes a deep breath and finally pulls open the door to the studio. Sure as the sky, there’s Bobby lounging on the couch with his unplugged guitar in hand, running through the motions for “Now or Never.”
An appropriate song choice, Luke thinks.
Bobby barely looks up as Luke throws himself onto the couch next to him. “Sup, Patterson.”
“Hey.” Luke winces at how small his voice sounds, and Bobby must notice it too because he stops his playing and looks up at him.
“You okay?”
Luke nods, giving him a small smile. Bobby narrows his eyes, unconvinced, but he goes back to his playing. Luke just sits there and listens for a few minutes, building up the courage to ask.
It’s not a big deal, Luke tells himself. Except it’s kind of a huge deal to Luke, but hopefully Bobby won’t see that.
“I, um,” Luke says, “I was actually wondering if you could help me with something.”
Bobby stops playing for real this time, gently laying his guitar on the coffee table. “Anything, dude, you know that.”
Luke smiles a little at dude. Bobby was the first person to ever call him that, even though he still has no idea how much it actually applies.
“I...” Luke starts fidgeting with his rings. “I want to cut my hair.”
Bobby chuckles. “Sure, I could give you a trim.”
“No,” Luke says. “I want to cut it all off.”
Bobby is not an easy person to catch off guard, but this seems to do the trick. “Oh. Okay. Like, all of it?”
“Not like, bald, or even shaved, I just... I just want it short.” Luke stands and starts striding towards the door. “I’m sorry. It’s stupid, I shouldn’t have asked. I just know you cut your own hair and I thought—“
“Hey,” Bobby cuts him off, catching him by the shoulders before he can make it out the door. “It’s not stupid. I just wasn’t expecting it. I can cut it for you.”
Luke searches his friend’s eyes for any indication he might be disingenuous, but he finds none. “Really?”
“Yeah. Just let me go up to the house to get my stuff.”
Luke nods and Bobby slips out of the garage, leaving Luke to collapse back onto the couch with a massive sigh of relief.
Bobby comes back down a minute later with his little barber kit in hand. He grabs a chair and nods for Luke to follow him into the bathroom.
“I brought my Polaroid down,” Bobby says at Luke gets situated. “In case you want to take a picture before I cut it.”
Luke frowns, running a hand through his shoulder-length hair. “I don’t know. I’m not really going to miss it.”
“Still could be cool to do a before-and-after thing,” Bobby shrugs. “Up to you.”
“Okay,” Luke decides.
Bobby grabs the camera and points it at Luke. “Say cheese.”
Luke gives a closed-lip smile, well aware his nerves will come right through in the picture. Bobby snaps the photo, then throws Luke a hair tie that someone left on the sink.
“Put it in a low ponytail.”
Luke nods and does as he’s told, then moves his chair so he’s facing away from the mirror. “I don’t want to see it until you’re done.”
Bobby moves behind him and he feels a light tug as Bobby takes his ponytail in his hand. “Last chance to back out,” he warns.
“Now or never,” Luke tries to joke, but it falls flat under the shake in his voice. “I’m ready. Do it.”
His hair goes taught, there’s a loud snip, and suddenly Luke’s entire center of gravity has shifted. His head feels a million times lighter, and so does his soul. He feels free.
“That’s a lot of hair,” Bobby whistles. He dangles the severed ponytail in Luke’s face, and Luke takes it from him, staring at it in awe.
A laugh bubbles up from Luke’s throat. “Holy shit.”
“Feel good?” Bobby asks.
“Feels great.”
Bobby tousles Luke’s remaining hair a bit, shaking it so it falls more naturally. “How short do you want it?”
“I don’t know,” Luke shrugs. “I trust you to be my stylist.”
“Smart choice,” Bobby says, and he gets to work. “So you’re really leaning into the whole butch look, huh?”
“Something like that,” Luke says. You have no idea.
They sit in silence for a few minutes while Bobby concentrates. The rhythmic snip of his scissors seems to match up with Luke’s racing heart.
Bobby moves around front to cut his bangs, and Luke squeezes his eyes shut to avoid getting hair in them.
“Thank you for doing this,” he says. “I know you’re allergic to feelings so I won’t bore you, but this means a lot to me.”
“I’m not allergic,” Bobby scoffs.
Luke would roll his eyes if they weren’t shut. “Sure, Bobbers.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t piss off the guy holding scissors in your face,” Bobby warns, though there’s no malice in his voice.
“Yes, sir. Understood.”
They go silent for a few more moments before Bobby says, “You know you can talk to me, right? I won’t have anything profound to say like Mercer does, but I can listen.”
Luke opens his eyes and puts a hand on Bobby’s to stop him from cutting. “I know. That’s why we love you.”
Bobby suddenly jerks away and lets loose the biggest, most dramatic sneeze Luke has ever seen.
“Sorry,” he sniffs. “My allergies are acting up.”
Luke laughs and shoves him softly, mindful of the scissors in his hands. “Asshole. Are you almost done?”
“Yeah, just a second.” Bobby resumes his position and makes a few more cuts to Luke’s bangs. When he’s finally pleased, he steps back and gives a satisfied nod. “I can go shorter if you want, but I thought for your first time cutting it short you might not want to go too extreme.”
Luke stands and turns to face the mirror, his eyes closed. “Can you give me a countdown?”
“Three... two... one.”
Luke opens his eyes, and holy shit.
“Wow,” he breathes.
It’s choppy and shaggy, and the ends of it curl out in a way that kind of circles his head, and it’s perfect. He silently thanks Bobby for understanding that he didn’t want a feminine cut. It’s boyish, and grungy, and totally Luke.
“What do you think?” Bobby asks.
“I love it,” Luke says. “It feels like me.”
“It looks like you.” Bobby grabs his camera and once again points it at Luke. “Smile.”
Luke gives him a massive grin as he snaps the picture. After it develops, Bobby lays it next to the before picture for Luke to look at. Seeing the two next to each other, they look like two entirely different people. The new one smiles so much bigger, looks so much more complete.
Luke likes that person a whole lot better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He spends the night with Bobby in the garage, and the next morning Mercer and Peters arrive for band practice together. Their eyes immediately land on Luke, and Mercer’s jaw drops to the floor while Peters launches over the coffee table to get a closer look.
“Woah,” Peters laughs, “you didn’t tell me you were going butch!”
“It was sort of an impulse thing,” Luke shrugs, which is a lie. It had taken months to build up the courage to ask Bobby. “Bobbers did it for me.”
“It looks so good!” Peters turns to Bobby. “Can you do mine, too?”
“I’m not a barbershop,” Bobby grunts, but Peters fixes him with the puppy dog eyes and he softens. “Fine. After rehearsal, okay?”
Peters nods enthusiastically, and Mercer finally snaps back to reality.
“Your parents are going to kill you guys.”
“Worth it,” Luke shrugs with a wild grin. “Let’s get rehearsing before Peters dies of anticipation.”
Peters vibrates with excitement all throughout rehearsal, then makes a beeline for the bathroom as soon as they play the final note of the day. Bobby chuckles and follows, grabbing the barber kit from where he left it on the sink last night.
“How short are we going?” he asks.
“Shorter than Patterson’s.”
Bobby nods and hands over a hair tie. Luke and Mercer move to hover by the doorway as Peters puts in a ponytail.
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Mercer asks. “I mean, won’t your parents freak?”
“Doubt they’d even notice,” Peters shrugs, and everyone frowns at that but they all know not to push it.
“You’re just jealous, Mercer,” Bobby teases. “I can do yours too if you want.”
Mercers’s face goes bright red. “I’m not— I don’t—“
“Hey,” Luke says softly, “it was a joke.”
Mercer nods, giving a soft, “Okay.”
Luke stores that reaction away to examine later. It’s definitely too extreme for someone who actually doesn’t want their hair cut.
Bobby takes Peters’s ponytail and gives the same warning he gave Luke. “Last chance.”
“Do it,” Peters nods.
Bobby snips the ponytail off, and Luke thinks that seeing it happen is almost just as satisfying as feeling it. Peters squeals with excitement, taking the ponytail from Bobby before he even has the chance to offer it.
“This is so weird,” Peters says, studying the hair.
Bobby gets to work, having to remind the bassist to sit still every five seconds. This one takes longer than Luke’s, and he and Mercer spend the time watching in fascination as black hair hits the floor and assuring Peters that Bobby’s not fucking it up.
When Bobby’s done cutting, he takes a moment to style it, then steps back. “Take a look.”
Peters springs up and whirls around to face the mirror. A massive grin spreads across the bassists’ face. “I love it! Thanks, Bobby!” Peters pulls him in for a hug.
“Nice job, Bobbers,” Luke says, and Mercer nods in agreement.
“You could do this professionally.”
“Yeah, I should be charging you guys for this,” Bobby chuckles. He goes out into the studio to grab a broom. Luke steps forward and wraps his arms around Peter’s shoulders, looking at the two of them next to each other in the mirror.
“You look good, bud,” Luke says.
“So do you,” Peters grins.
“The girls are gonna be all over you two,” Mercer jokes, laying an arm over each of their shoulders.
“Make sure you leave some for me,” Bobby says, coming back in and starting to sweep up Peters’s fallen locks.
“I don’t think our girls are gonna be too interested in you,” Peters snorts.
Luke laughs along, but he silently wonders how he’s going to tell his friends that he’s just as disinterested in gay girls as Bobby is, because he’s neither gay nor a girl.
He pushes the thought to the back of his mind. Someday, he’ll tell them, but this is a day for celebration.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Someday comes about two months later, when he plays “My Name Is Luke” for the band, and Reggie and Alex respond by coming out themselves. They all spend that night together in the garage, exhausted from the emotional weight of three coming outs.
When Luke finally wakes up around noon, he finds Alex and Reggie right where he left them, cuddled up to either side of him. Bobby is missing, which isn’t surprising. He’s probably been up for hours.
Luke slips out from under his sleeping friends and slinks up to the loft, where he finds Bobby curled up on one of the beanbags, reading a book.
“Morning,” he grunts, eyes never leaving the page.
“Hey.” Luke drops onto the bean bag next to him, laughing a little at how much this moment resembles that night two months ago. The grand opening of Barbershop Bobby, they’ve dubbed it. He’s given Luke and Reggie all their haircuts since then.
“How’re you feeling?” Bobby asks.
It’s rare that Bobby will ever ask so directly, so Luke decides to give him a fully honest answer. “Like I’m finally myself.”
Bobby looks up and hesitates before asking, “Did you know? When you asked me to cut your hair the first time?”
Luke’s heart rate picks up a little. Is he mad Luke kept it from him this long?
“Yeah,” he admits. “I did.”
He holds his breath and waits for Bobby’s reaction, but the boy just nods. “Thanks for trusting me with that.”
He goes back to his book, and his message is clear— If you ever mention this conversation happening I’ll deny it.
That’s enough for Luke.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three months later, Bobby is touching up Luke’s haircut when Alex arrives at the studio and knocks gently on the bathroom door.
“Sup, Alex?” Bobby asks, grabbing Luke’s head to keep him from swiveling to look at Alex.
“Uh,” Alex clears his throat nervously. “I was wondering if I could book an appointment at Barbershop Bobby.”
Luke gasps in excitement. “You’re finally gonna chop it?”
Alex nods, tugging on his hair. It reaches his waist, and Luke knows how much Alex hates it, how long he’s waited to defy his mother’s orders and cut it all off.
“It’s time,” Alex says.
“Are you sure?” Bobby asks. “What about your parents?”
“I think I’m gonna tell them,” Alex says slowly, “and I figured this is as good a conversation starter as any.”
Bobby reaches over and gives Alex a quick squeeze on the arm. “You always have a place here if you need it.”
“At my place too, bro,” Luke adds.
“Thanks, guys,” Alex smiles. “Where’s Reggie?”
“REG!” Luke screams, causing Bobby and Alex to jump. “Lex is gonna cut his hair!”
They hear a “Holy shit!” from the loft quickly followed by Reggie tumbling down the stairs.
He appears in the doorway behind Alex, panting, his own hair freshly cut. “About time, Lexi!”
Bobby puts the finishing touches on Luke’s cut and he springs out of the chair. Bobby brushes off the fallen hair before gesturing for Alex to sit.
“Deep breaths, Al,” Bobby tells him as he shakily lowers himself into the chair.
Alex bites his lip and looks up at Luke and Reggie. “Could you guys... I know it’s stupid but could you hold my hands? This is kind of a big thing for me.”
“Of course, dude,” Reggie says. He moves to kneel on Alex’s left, taking his hand. Luke does the same on his right.
“When was the last time you had a haircut?” Bobby asks, putting Alex’s hair in a ponytail.
“I mean, I’ve trimmed off the split ends and stuff, but the last time I really cut it was when Reg got gum in it in fourth grade.”
Reggie chuckles. “I remember that. I thought your mom was gonna kill me.”
Bobby raises his scissors to the base of Alex’s ponytail. “Ready?”
“Ready,” Alex breathes, squeezing Luke and Reggie’s hands a little tighter.
Bobby snips the scissors, and nearly two feet of golden hair comes loose in his grasp.
“Woah,” Alex gasps. “I never realized how heavy that was.”
“How does it feel?” Luke asks.
“Really weird,” Alex admits, “but really, really good.”
Bobby lays a hand on Alex’s shoulder. “Alex,” he says carefully, “how much do you trust me?”
“Significantly less every time you ask that,” Alex replies.
Bobby rolls his eyes. “Fair. But do you trust me with a razor?”
“A razor?” Alex squeaks.
“I’m not gonna give you a buzz cut,” Bobby assures him. “But I have a vision and I want it to be a surprise, so I need you to trust me.”
Alex looks to Luke and Reggie, who nod. “Okay,” he breathes.
Bobby plugs in his razor and gets to work. Luke and Reggie babble on about everything and nothing to keep Alex distracted. The longer Bobby works, the more Alex seems to relax, and eventually he joins in Luke and Reggie’s conversation. About forty minutes later, Bobby puts his tools down and taps Alex on the shoulder.
“I’m done, man. Take a look.”
Alex takes a deep breath and turns to face himself in the mirror. His eyes widen as his eyes fall on his hair. Bobby has cut the top part so it flops down around his ears, and the back and sides are shaved. Alex lifts a shaky hand and runs it along the short, prickly hair that’s left there. The other three boys watch him carefully, waiting for a reaction.
Slowly, a grin spreads across Alex’s face and he starts laughing, now running both of his hands through his hair.
“You like it then?” Bobby asks.
Alex nods, biting his lip. “This is the best I’ve ever felt.”
Bobby chuckles and wraps an arm around Alex’s shoulders. “Come on, let’s see if my grandma will take a picture of the four of us. It’ll be our first official band picture.”
The four of them gather on the couch in front of their hand-painted Sunset Curve banner. Bobby teaches his grandma how to work his Polaroid, and she looks at them all through the viewfinder before saying, “Handsome boys.”
Luke’s smile grows about ten times bigger, and he doesn’t have to look to know Alex and Reggie’s have too. Bobby’s grandma snaps the picture and they all immediately flock to her to watch it develop. When it does, reflecting their smiling faces and fresh haircuts back at them, Luke declares, “This is going on our first album’s cover.”
Bobby’s grandma nods in agreement. “Make sure you hold onto that one.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bobby did hold onto it. Luke saw it when they were haunting him, tucked under some papers on Bobby’s desk. A couple months after the band properly reunited and started spending time at his house, Bobby moved the picture to a frame in the living room, on display with all his—technically their— platinum albums.
That knowledge is what gives Luke the courage to be standing on Bobby’s doorstep now, with Alex and Reggie by his side.
He feels like he shouldn’t be this nervous. Bobby has told them a million times how happy he is to have them back in his life, and the boys feel the same. It’s just still a little strange. For the boys, it’s been about eight months since they last saw him. For him, it’s been twenty-five years. Bobby was always the dad friend, but Luke’s still wrapping his mind around the fact that it’s a very literal title now. Bobby has changed so much, in ways the boys will never get to.
“Are you gonna knock, or what?” Alex says, snapping Luke out of his thoughts.
Luke shoots him a glare and rings the doorbell. A few moments later, Bobby opens the door, his frown of confusion turning to a smile when he sees them.
“Hey guys,” he says.
“Hey, Bobby,” Luke says, fiddling with his rings.
“What’s up?”
Luke glances at Alex and Reggie before taking a deep breath. “Um, you know how Julie’s weird friendship magic, like, sorta-kinda brought us back to life?”
Bobby nods, probably too causally for the subject matter.
“Right,” Luke continues, “well, it turns out a side effect of that is that our hair can start growing again, and we’re feeling kinda dysphoric about it, so we were wondering...”
Bobby pulls him into a hug. That happens a lot more now then it ever did in life, probably compensating for twenty-five years without them.
“Say no more,” Bobby says. “Barbershop Bobby is always open to you guys.”
He pulls Luke through the door and nods for Alex and Reggie to follow. Luke exchanges a grin with them. There are very few things they miss from their life and very few constants in their afterlife. Thankfully, the area where those two overlap is their rhythm guitarist, offering the quiet and unconditional love he always has, even twenty-five years later.
Unconditional love, and haircuts.