Chapter Text
20:32|25/09/2567
Stu’s Log
So…
I kinda messed up.
I might have set a fire on the lifeship that ruined the kitchen… but it wasn’t all my fault! Nobody told me wrappers don’t like microwave heaters!
The fabricator wasn’t going to make Mexican food for another two days and I was pretty sure that the burrito I left in the chiller was still edible. I couldn’t remember if I’d had lettuce in the meal when I got it or if the green stuff was something else, but microwaves kill all the bad stuff, right?
So what happened was I set the thing for 30 seconds (I mean, I could have hit 30 minutes by mistake…) but when I came back from getting a drink, the box had smoke spilling out the door and the sprinklers were going… and I mean, the plug sparked and made more fire… but how is that my fault?
Anyway, I ripped open the door and grabbed the burrito and stuck it up to the sprinkler like anyone reasonable person whose burrito had been set on fire would. I would like to add that my hand got a nasty burn, which had me running to the nearest medbay, or at least the nearest one without anyone around, because I didn’t want to explain to Dr. Jelks that reheating my five day old burrito had gotten me burned again.
This had me running to the nearest escape pod, which, conveniently enough had opened up the hatch as I ran up. I dove through the entrance, cooling burrito in one hand, the other scrambling for the instant medcare box. I switched the now warm Mexican wrap to my free hand before shoving my burned one into the BurnGel™ container. Some who were not in a stressful situation such as I might describe my reaction as a whimper of relief before passing out. I on the other hand would have called it a sigh of victory.
It turns out that Drew crawled into the pod not long after I did, and entered the command to flee the lifeship. Not only that, but he ate half of my burrito, and he didn’t even have the manners to wake me up and ask me. He’s also in a coma now, caused by food poisoning if the pod’s computer is to be trusted. It seems like I might have dodged a bullet with the burrito, and I’m not hungry enough to test if the computer is right, yet.