Chapter Text
Calum’s life had never been predictable. Ever since he was a child he was never able to predict what he’d be doing a year from now. But when Calum met you, he started imagining what his life could be like if things worked out between the two of you. Whenever he was bored on a tour bus or when the nights alone on tour kept his brain awake, he’d imagine what life with you could be like in the next couple of years.
One day, when the February sun had shone high above in the sky and both you and Calum had enough time away from the busy lives to spend more than just the night together, you found yourselves at the zoo. The weather had been perfect and the zoo itself wasn’t too busy, which meant that strolling through the empty walkways and stopping to watch the animals graze around their exhibits was the perfect way to spend the day.
“Did you know elephants have the biggest brain of any of the mammals?” Calum mumbled happily, looking over at you as you both stopped to watch one of the baby elephants trot after its sibling, making little trumpet noises.
“Really? They must be very smart then,” you mumbled, a smile on your face as you watched the little one jump into the puddle.
Before you knew it, your vision was black and you felt the warmth from Calum’s hands on your skin. Laughing softly and trying to pry his hands from your eyes, you couldn’t help but whine quietly as you heard the trumpeting from the elephants.
“Calum! Let me see!” you whined and managed to peek through in between his fingers just in time to see the baby elephant stumble into the puddle, both you and Calum chuckling as you leaned into one another.
Calum had a memory in his head of when you two went to the beach in Sydney. How the sun was so warm and the sand was soft against his skin. He remembered how excited you had been to see the famous beaches of Australia and you’d practically begged him to take you as soon as you’d settled into the hotel room. He remembers how quiet you’d gotten when you arrived at the beach and you’d finally got your first taste of the ocean breeze, how your eyes were trained on the waves and the horizon.
Calum took many pictures on that trip, pictures of the view from the ocean so he could show you whenever you felt down. He took pictures of the food you both ate, of the good plates, and the more questionable midnight snacks you’d find yourself eating. But Calum’s favorite picture was one of you laying on the Sydney beach, the sun shining down on you while your head was in his lap. He’d kept that picture close to his heart, making sure he reminded you that you could always go visit the beach and stare at the ocean whenever you wanted to.
The first time you and Calum got drunk together, it had been an accident. A night out to dinner with the band had led to both of you drinking way too many glasses of wine from the Italian restaurant that Ashton had raved about for more than a month before the guys all decided to make a night out of it. The pasta had been very cheesy and the wine had been strong, which had led to both of you leaning into the other as you walked down the cobblestone streets of the little plaza.
You were leaning against the wall, watching as Calum took a pull of the cigarette he had lit a few minutes ago. His head was tilted back as he let the puff of smoke leave his lips.
“I’m drunk.” he mumbled quietly, his words slurred and his chest rumbling with laughter, “Don’t think I’ve ever gotten this drunk this fast, Whatever they put in that wine, oof.” he chuckled and nodded, holding out the cigarette to her.
“Mm, it was definitely a strong one.” you chuckled, taking the cigarette from his hands and taking a pull, feeling the burn in your lungs as you exhaled.
“I think I love you,” he whispered as you both stood next to each other in silence. “I have for a while.”
“I think I love you too.”
Calum always felt happy when he was around you. He could be himself, not the Calum Hood that was known for being a musician and a heartbreaker. He could be the Calum he always was when he was by himself. That night, after he’d told you that he loved you and you’d said it back, things had changed. Calum wasn’t afraid to be that person he had been hiding away for so long. He wasn’t afraid to just show up in the same hoodie he’d worn for three days in a row because he knew you’d still love him.
He’d mentioned it to you, on a day where you were both tangled in the bedsheets and his curls were stuck to his forehead while your hair was sprawled out over his chest. How happy he felt with you, that he’d never been as happy before then he was with you. You had smiled up at him, pressing a kiss on to his collarbone tattoo. “Yeah? Well, I’m always pretty happy when I’m just here with you.”
Calum loved making love to you. He loved how he felt close to you whenever he had you under him or on top of him. He loved how you squirmed under his touch while his hands held your waist tight to the end of the bed. Making love to you was different than the casual sex you two were usually having. It was soft kisses and hips meeting in the bed that you both had shared many times before. It was soft grunts and whines that left both of you as you chased a high. He loved the little noises you would make as their hips met. Calum loved how at the end of every night he would end up tangled in your arms, chest heaving, and kisses being left on his skin.
“Do you think this feeling will ever go away?” you asked him one night, your hands running through the curls that you had been pulling not too long ago.
“Hmm?” he asked softly, “I hope so. I love being in love with you.” he chuckled, his lips leaving a trail of kisses from your shoulder until they met yours, your legs pulling him closer for the long night you had both been craving.
Sometimes when Calum got lost in his head, with thoughts of what his future would look like, he realized just how easy it would be to lose you. All the moments he’d come up with, a house with a big yard for dogs, a car big enough to hold a stroller and car seats, and even just two rocking chairs on a porch where you could both sit and enjoy the Australian summer. Those could easily be lost, with mistakes and fights where Calum’s emotions got the best of him, gone and never to become a reality.
He was lying in bed one night, far away from the home and from you, when his thoughts caused his heart to race. When he realized just how easily he could lose you and everything you two had built.
“I just don’t understand how you could be so selfish, Calum?!” you groaned, your hands running through your hair for the tenth time in a matter of seconds, “How could you think you could make all these big decisions without thinking of me?”
“You’re just being dramatic. It’s part of my job, you knew this would be the case. You signed up for this!” Calum threw back, his own eyes rolling as he finished packing up his suitcase.
“You’re leaving for almost two years, Calum!” you shouted, tears pricking your eyes, “Did you even think about how that would affect me?” you asked and scoffed, “Of course you didn’t, all you do is think about yourself.”
Calum didn’t know when things had gotten this bad, when the small little arguments turned into fights where he would end up at Ashton’s house, trying his best to fall asleep on the leather couch. But he was tired of all the fighting, tired of all the insults thrown between the two of you. He thought that maybe if he just broke things off, that things would get better. But then there he was, watching you grab our bag and walk out the door and he never felt so scared in his life.
“Cal?” your voice whispered, bringing Calum back to reality one day, “Are you there, sweet boy?”
“Hmm? Yeah, sorry, just got lost in thought.” Calum mumbled and chuckled quietly, “What were you saying again?”
“That’s okay,” you laughed and shook your head, “I was saying we should stop by that gelato place near our Airbnb, they had a lot of cool flavors.”
Calum nodded, smiling as he watched you take a sip of the Italian wine you’d been nursing. The sun was setting behind you, making the perfect background of reds and oranges. The small getaway that Calum had planned for you both had been the perfect way to get some time together after life became too much and schedule conflicts meant you two hadn’t seen much of the other person in a few weeks. It had also been your six-year anniversary, which meant each day of your trip was filled with little surprises from one another. Little moments where the love you had proved every bad thought Calum had wrong.