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Kita knows the kind of person you are; reserved, calculating, and straightforward. A few traits he finds himself sharing with you. The first time he sees you was when you sat next to him at the opening speech for the start of the school year. Unlike him, your mind seemed to be wandering around, barely paying attention to the speeches presented.
The two of you were just first years back then, new to the school environment, trying to transition from middle school mentality to high school mentality. You were someone who he didn't really pay attention to, only acknowledging you as his fellow classmate. That is until you had the nerve to tell a few third years off for ganging up on you.
"I really cannot comprehend why you feel the need to target me for 'batting my eyelashes at your boyfriend', I bumped into him and blinked when he offered his hand to help me up. I'm not even sure how you jumped into that conclusion. Could it be a miscommunication with your boyfriend? I suggest you talk it out with him. Or maybe you or one of your friends saw? Might I recommend glasses? It may help you in the long run, senpai."
He remembers you saying those exact words that day. At first he just thought of you as someone who's genuinely unaware of the event the upperclassmen had dragged you into, that is, until you added to your statement.
"Or maybe… we're just not allowed to blink? In that case that's a very odd rule for you to add, senpai. Or do you just not know that it's a human's requirement to wet their eyeballs? In that case, I recommend a quick google search on the topic. Hopefully you are able to comprehend the explanation provided."
Kita remembers how your face didn't change throughout the exchange, but he did notice how you exhaled in relief after. He also noted that was the most you've spoken despite being in school for a decent amount of time.
You were and still are a silent person. You move about your day quietly, preferring to stay away from most things but still somehow knowing what's going on, slipping in and out undetected by people despite how you look. It took him some courage to approach you and start a conversation. It wasn't even anything remotely unusual, he was just asking for your assignment the teacher had asked for him to collect.
You've always been a silent and straightforward yet roundabout person. You wouldn't hesitate to call people who wronged you out while you insult them in a roundabout way. He found that interesting and it compelled him to get to know you.
Contrary to popular belief of your peers, it was easy to get to know you. All it took was an open mind and a great ear to listen. Through the conversations he had with you, he found out how you were actually quite opinionated despite your aloof attitude. While you were still a bit reluctant to start conversations with him, he made the effort to get to know you, no thanks to him growing attached and having feelings for you.
The day he professed his feelings for you that one autumn day during your second year, you had shed your reserved and aloof mask for the first time. An out of character blush rose to your cheeks and your lips twitched into a small, shy smile, contrary to your usual frown. He remembered smiling softly as he heard you stutter out your answer, a yes to his confession.
"Ah, um... Kitashin..." You mumbled, your soft smile falling a little from your lips. "Um... if ever we get into a big fight, promise me we'd talk it out. I'll usually step away from the conversation if I feel my emotions starting to take over... um... yeah, I'd usually hold a hand up... just so you know."
You took a deep breath once more, lifting your head up and looking at him in the eye, gone was the soft smile from your lips, instead, a serious expression overtook your features. "And if you ever find yourself growing tired, bored, or falling out of love with me, please tell me immediately. I would prefer you be upfront about it."
Kita's expression matched yours, showing you just how serious he took your request, holding your cold hands tightly. "I promise, [Name]. I will try my hardest to avoid hurtin' ya in any way."
From then on, people regard you as quite the power couple of Inarizaki. People wouldn't dare try to get on your bad sides, avoiding your sharp tongues and pressuring glares. To everyone you two were perfect, as an individual and as a couple. You two never did extreme PDA, opting for quick, domestic shows of public affection. Whether it's him putting a stray strand of your hair in place or you tidying up his school blazer's collar; people would say you two are practically married already.
Kita has always been a secret romantic a trait he shamelessly shows you. One day, you showed up with a necklace laced around your neck, the beautiful pendant resting in between your collarbones. Kita had given you that present as a commemoration to your first year anniversary as a couple.
You, while you're still reserved, did everything in your power to keep him happy. You would smile more around him, be attentive of a lot of his needs, and be there for him. Everything was going smoothly, everyone, even Kita himself thought you'd last a lifetime.
So, why did it go so wrong? How did it go so wrong?
Kita doesn't actually need to ask that question. He knows exactly how he fucked everything up.
You two had gotten into quite a heated fight that time. One where you had to step out and cool your head before you're able to jump back in. As much as he's able to control his emotions, sometimes it can go haywire, he is human after all.
That day he stayed behind in the lecture hall to focus on some work. He knew times were stressful for the both of you, with your projects starting to pile up, the ruthless deadlines not giving you mercy, you aren't able to give him any attention. His situation was also not helping, with grandma Yumie being sick, he had to constantly check up on her, he was concerned of her health and he needed comfort which you weren't able to give at the time as you work yourself to the point of burnout.
A lecture-mate of his walked up to him, batting her eyelashes and tracing up his arm seductively. She continued to flirt with him, whispering sweet nothings and the comfort he craved. That night, he lied to you, saying his grandmother needed him when in reality, he let himself fall into another woman's arms.
Your fight was never resolved.
He swears it will only be a one time thing. That he regrets ever betraying your trust, but again and again he falls into the same pit. The woman gave him the comfort and affection he craved while you tirelessly tried to make ends meet with your piling projects.
He feels the guilt bubbling up. He remembers the promise he made when you two were still in your second year, he wanted to tell you, he wanted to respect you. But he's been seeing the other woman for months now and he knows he's dragged your entire being through the mud.
Kita tries to keep everything under wraps, acting as if nothing changed. He would be out more sure, but his reasons were always valid and you always trusted him. Everything went on as usual even if the other woman had entered into his routine.
Maybe that's why he didn't notice when your things started to slowly disappear from your shared apartment.
He failed to realise how your favourite kitchen utensils would stop appearing in the cabinets. How the books you enjoyed started disappearing from the bookshelf. How your hygiene products were replaced with the smaller sizes rather than the usual large sizes you'd get. How you would stop sleeping with your comfort item. How your clothes gradually decreased.
You had acted as usual, despite you being tired you still took care of him as much as you can; giving him tired smiles and cuddling him every once in a while. He hadn't noticed how your features would be laced with pain when you pulled away however.
When he noticed the changes around him, it was already too late. Nothing of you remained in the apartment you shared. Your clothes, favourite kitchen utensils, hygiene products, everything he can think of. Gone.
He searched the apartment in a state of panic, calling out to you until he had confirmed you had left without a single trace, as if you hadn't even existed in his life. The weight of his actions started to feel heavier as he came to the realisation.
You knew. You knew of the other woman the entire time.
He walked around the apartment endlessly, still hoping to wake up from the nightmare he allowed to happen. He sits himself down on the sofa, one he remembers you picking at the furniture store. A glint on the coffee table catches his attention and he shuffled over to see what it was. It was the necklace he gave you on your first year anniversary.
He buries his head in his hands as tears trickled down his cheeks. His sobs are louder than ever, hoping you would hear and come to him, cradling him in your arms as you whispered your forgiveness. But reality is harsh and unforgiving, leaving him to deal with it alone.
The next time he sees you is years later. He's stayed single ever since you left him, unable to get into another relationship while you continued to plague his mind. How he never saw you during the remaining time of university, he doesn't know. But he mustered up the courage to approach you, tapping your shoulder and catching your attention.
You blink owlishly at him, turning around to give him your full attention. "Kita-san! Never thought I'd see you around here." You greet, a bit too casually for him.
"Yeah... was just deliverin' rice to the area." He answers, trying to drown out the pang in his chest from you calling him by his surname.
"Business is going well, I hope?" you ask, tilting your head.
"Yeah, it's goin' well." He says, averting his eyes. He swallows the lump in his throat and looks back up, determined to apologise to you. "Um... I would like to apologise for what I've done years ago, I know it may be long overdue for you but please believe me when I say I tried my hardest to find you." He says, bowing in a 90 degree angle. If he could, he would get on his knees and kneel in front of you, but considering you're in a public place, you would have preferred this.
He hears you sigh, his heart thumping loudly at what your expression might be. "Kita-san, please stand up straight." You say.
The face you have was not something he anticipated. It's soft and apologetic, not one of anger or one that expresses displeasure. "Whether it's true or not, I accept your apology. I... also would like to apologise... for not giving you the attention you deserved and for leaving like that. I suppose I wasn't thinking logically that time." You say, laughing bitterly.
He sighs in relief at you accepting his apology, maybe... just maybe. "Uh... [Name]--"
"[Name]!"
The interruption catches both of your attention, both of you turn your heads to see a man Kita feels familiar with walking over to the two of you, carrying a child in his arms. A child that looks like mix of you and the man. His feels his heart drop to his stomach as he looks at you, giving the man a warm and loving smile.
"Eita! Sorry for taking a while, did Hayase act up?"
Gone was your attention on Kita as you walk over to the man. A man Kita remembers facing during nationals. One of Shiratorizawa's setters, Semi Eita. Kita searches your left hand, feeling his heart stop at the addition of a simple golden band wrapping snuggly around your left ring finger.
"Kita-san, I suppose you remember Eita? I think you've faced him a few times back in high school." You ask, brushing your son's fringe out of his eyes.
Kita meets the eyes of Semi, seeing the latter narrow his eyes into a glare. You notice this and lightly hit your husband's shoulder, silently scolding him. "I'm so sorry to cut this short Kita-san, but we have to head home. I'll see you around." You say and nod your head.
He watches you walk away with your family. You don't even give him your new number, well of course you won't, your husband wouldn't allow it after knowing what you went through.
Kita ponders the mistake he made all those years ago, how if he had just held himself back and stayed true to you, he would be the one in Semi's place, your name would be Kita [Name] rather than Semi [Name], you two would have lived happily ever after if he had just turned his head away from the other woman or hell, if he had just told you immediately what he had done, he knows you would have forgiven him, you were always nice even if your image didn't give off the vibe.
But he didn't, and he knows he can't turn back time. He has no choice other than to move forward.
You had always been a reserved and calculated person, but maybe you aren't as straightforward as he thinks you are. After all, the months leading up to you leaving were silent. You made no noise in slipping out of his grasp and when he realised you were gone, the silence was deafening.