Work Text:
Xiao Zhan was an independent man. He had been alone for years. He survived university, had been away from his family as he chose to live in dorms, and even started an independent design studio with his friends, which, given that they were merely undergraduate students who didn't have much experience, fairly did well.
Xiao Zhan liked to think that he had already met a variety of people—the good and the bad, the fake and the genuine. As a designer, Xiao Zhan was required to interact with their clients. He had to make and establish connections to bring his name out there in the market, and in the brief period that he worked under a company, he had experienced first hand how vultures work— the people that would eat you alive if you'll just let them.
Having an above average appearance helped him. He didn't exactly agree that he's that handsome, but his friends and coworkers were adamant to make him see whatever they're seeing. He refused to acknowledge it until his close friend sat him down on his celebratory dinner after finishing a successful project. She had kindly pointed out some details Xiao Zhan had— whether purposely or not, he didn't exactly remember— missed, and by the end of that night, came home with a quiet advice and a different perspective of how certain things operated at work.
It was still nothing against the privileged and the powerful, but he couldn't deny the fact that it was a definite advantage. His friend was right. Some clients were more than willing to give him their attention whenever he was presenting, and were more receptive to some changes he was proposing. He learned how to adapt to each client he was faced with, without managing to lose his personality in the process. It was still him. It's just at work, personal irate and opinions were set aside to amplify the traits that would certainly appeal to his potential clients. He learned how to distinctly separate his work and personal life. Some clients, however, were convinced that his interest went beyond the project. That was why he also learned how to politely decline offers to dine outside. If the purpose of their meeting wasn't for a consultation of the designs, then he'd flat out refuse, no matter how good the offer was. He would not stoop that low.
It eventually got better after some time, though he wasn't sure if he had just learned how to cope or it was resignation after repeated occurrences. It was probably both.
Xiao Zhan had no plans of changing careers. He had not even thought of it in his idle time, not until a director contacted him for a boy group survival show about to set on air in the latter half of that same year. He had a stable, well-paying job that allowed him to save up and help his family. His efforts were finally recognized by the company, and through contacts and his connections, more clients were referred to him. He could earn up to a hundred thousand yuan on a good day from a huge project. His bad days were not as bad as when he was just starting. He was still fairly young. He was already secured. There was no need for drastic changes that would tip his perfectly balanced world over.
Except Xiao Zhan had said yes. He had agreed to participate, and had been thrilled despite his parents expressing their worries. He had resigned from his job despite his colleagues' well meaning advice. He had left the place he grew up in, and soothed his parents by reminding them that even though he would be away, they could always video call each other and watch him on their program. He knew that it wasn't quite like the same, but it was the best thing that he could offer at the moment.
A couple of months in and Xiao Zhan had come to a realization: he had severely underestimated the situation.
He thought he was still young, but some people clearly thought otherwise. Not a day went by without him hearing a comment about his age. Sometimes it was to tease him— an opening and invitation for a banter, but sometimes it was a direct, rude jab. He could sing and he knew at one point that he would be required to dance, because an idol should be able to do both. It had been one of his greatest concerns before starting, but the director had assured him that he'd be given the chance to learn during the show. However, as he lagged behind the younger but much better dancers who had worked all their life towards the goal of debuting, Xiao Zhan felt incredibly lacking.
He was not a quitter, so he persisted even though it only got harder as months flew by. His efforts were awarded as he was given the chance to debut, and even then, it wasn't an excuse to slack off. He never ceased his training, knowing that there were still a lot of areas that definitely needed improving.
Xiao Zhan had foolishly thought that he had met all kinds of people. That he was able to survive thus far because he knew how to deal with them. He was confident that he could maneuver his way even through the change of environments. He thought he'd seen bad, but nothing could have prepared him for the worst ones. The absolute scums who were able to do whatever they wanted by maximizing their full authority. The people who worked behind the cameras who would demand unacceptable things. The people who called themselves their fans but would do unspeakable things to them, and had troubles realizing just how wrong they were.
There was plenty of time. He was officially in this industry, so, just like before, he just needed to eventually learn his way around. It might take a while since the relationships were much more intricate than in a usual working industry, but he knew that sooner or later, he'd be able to find his footing.
Xiao Zhan was fine. He could handle this. However, he didn't think his younger members could. They may have dreamed of this, but it didn't mean that they were also prepared for these types of situations. The dark side of entertainment— the nasty businessmen who were eager to get their hands on potential talents and milk them of their worth. The inevitable occurrence of sishaengs that left them shaken. The dangers that lurked behind the glamour of fame.
He didn't have an experience regarding these situations, but it didn't stop him from stepping forward to handle them. He couldn't just sit back and watch as his members were taken advantage and forced to deal with these people. Some of them weren't even of legal age yet. They're way too young. He's the old one anyway. Might as well put it into good use.
He was not impressionable. He had questions to ask, and respectful objections raised during their meetings. Xiao Zhan was well aware that they dislike him not because he started late, but because he could see through them. He resisted. And if the management started to single him out, turning down projects without even consulting him first, leaving him to fend off on his own, then they were just proving his point. Absolute scums. He did not regret any of his decisions.
His parents called him often to ask how he was. Xiao Zhan assured them that he was doing just fine. He didn't tell them about how he was using his own savings to support further lessons that should have been funded by their company. He was aware that they should know about the growing tension between them and their management, but the situation was not dire— at least, not yet — there was no need to make them worry more.
Xiao Zhan was an independent man. He knew how to cook his own meals, how to book his own flight, how to get from one filming location to another through public transportation. He didn't need to be doted on like he's some helpless new kid— even though he actually is, new, yes, but not a kid.
It's not like he was actively avoiding help. It was nice to be guided, but he had already made up his mind and he was not going to back down from it. His younger members needed them more. He could rely on his actual professional work experience. It worked most of the time.
Xiao Zhan was gaining more experience, and understanding after working on several projects. He made some good friends out of it, met some people he'd have to avoid crossing paths with in the future. He was starting to get the hang of this. He was slowly gaining confidence— he could do this.
And then he met Wang Yibo. Yibo who was neither good nor bad, fake nor genuine. Who was not like his same-age but naive band members, not like his shitty management and demanding producers. Yibo whom he considered as his qianbei due to his years spent in entertainment, and who is also his didi, especially on long nights when he looked painfully young, head lolled back as it rested on his shoulders on their way back to their hotel. Yibo who had more IV marks and obligations than the number of hours on the clock. Yibo who'd hit and nag him after they'd been away from each other because he had a strange way of saying " i miss you."
Yibo who was just….. Yibo.
Someone who wears his heart on his face, who can be incredibly annoying if he really wanted to be and yet. And yet he was also someone he'd eventually grown fond of.
Xiao Zhan was an independent man. He didn't need someone to care for him. He didn't need anyone to hover protectively over him.
But, as Yibo lightly and gently maneuvered him amidst the army of reporters, the ghost of his hand hovering just a few inches short at the small of his back, Xiao Zhan was forced to rethink. As he glanced at Yibo after a particularly unpleasant query from a reporter and the man immediately answered for him, reading him so easily, he felt something within him settle.
Xiao Zhan is a grown, independent man, capable of supporting and protecting himself. However, with Yibo by his side— caring for him, hovering protectively over him— he thinks that he doesn't mind it. That maybe he needs this too, that he is allowed to be selfish and hoard this for himself.
Xiao Zhan is fine. He is okay. But he realizes, as he registers Yibo's incoming video call request, no doubt to ask if he had eaten the food he had delivered on their set— he can be better. He can feel much better.
(And because Xiao Zhan also has a strange way of saying "i love you", he paints a picture of how he envisioned his future, with Yibo by his side.)