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You are the Warrior of Light. You accepted this when Hydaelyn spoke to you but was it ever really your choice? Surrounded by people yet feeling more isolated than ever you have long stopped thinking about it. Perhaps you would have been happier had you never taken the first step but perhaps you wouldn’t be. There isn’t a way to know that now. You are alone. You had friends, once, who wanted to be with you on your adventures. Then suddenly, one day without warning, they weren’t. To follow the path of the Warrior of Light isn’t an easy one. Maybe it was too much for them. Maybe you weren't worth it in the end.
But you’ll never really know. You wish they had said goodbye.
You shoulder the burden anyway, alone. It is what you were destined to do. Walking away is no longer a choice and until the day someone finally strikes you down you must be Eorzea’s blade of light in the darkness—a weapon, a tool, a hero.
Alone.
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Despite being the first of the Scions you cross paths with, Y’shtola is the one you feel the most distance from. Her face is always stone, her demeanor always cool and her thinking always level-headed and sharp. She smiles at you but you don’t feel like she really sees you. You are simply a comrade. She seems to want to keep others at arms length. Maybe that’s fine. Maybe that’s for the best.
She's different with the others though. You observe her quietly when she isn't looking. She smiles more warmly with Yda. Her expressions are fuller when she scolds Thancred. Her eyes seem more gentle when she speaks with Minfilia. You see that little by little, one adventure after the next, the barrier she keeps begins to break. Slowly you feel that you're getting to understand her. Later the gods will take pity on you, see your loneliness and regrets, and gift you the chance to see her again after she was lost in the Lifestream. You remember her sitting on the bed after her rescue, smiling warmly at you like she has never done before, and your heart feels full. It's the ways she smiled at Yda all those moons ago.
She is more than that stoic scholar you first took her for. She is wiser than she lets on, sharp-tongued to friends and enemies alike, kind to those in need and has an unexpected mischievous streak. When you travel across the Hinterlands together you hear her reminiscence with Alphinaud and there is a quiet fondness in her voice. Carefully you ask her about Sharlayan, curious as you always are, and her smile widens. You realize then that you are her friend.
Her expression in the Rak'tika Greatwood when you reunite with her makes you realize you have given her hope. You wonder if she knows how much hope she gave you in return when she was rescued from the Lifestream that day.
You recall when you were weary from your victory over Elidibus and the loss of the Exarch. In the aftermath, Y'shtola lifted a hand to touch your arm, eyes sad and lips pulled into a frown.
“Sometimes, I wish that I too had been gifted with the Echo. Then I might see what you have seen and glimpse into your heart without the need for words.”
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Thancred is the most friendly. He’s charismatic and cheerful. You quickly learn that the brightest among us are often the most broken. When he becomes possessed by Lahabrea you find out it’s because he was working too hard to fill the void left by loss. You learn emotions are difficult for him and watch him struggle to not only express them but to accept the ones that are most difficult to face. You understand this more than anyone.
You’re struck by just how much loss Thancred suffers. His mentor, his aether, his most cherished loved one... and, eventually, his warmth for the world itself that has caused so much pain. Yet he keeps going. He doesn’t complain, even when he becomes more sullen and withdrawn, and does his duty as a Scion with the same courage he’s always had. Sometimes you see pieces of the Thancred you first met poke through but the grief he has endured has changed him too much. Yours did too.
Thancred is the person you see yourself in most of all. He wallows in grief for so long and a part of you envies it because you never had the luxury. When he finally comes out the other side he has changed again. This time there’s something warm about his presence and you find it comforting. He still has difficulty expressing himself, still takes on too much of his burdens alone without saying anything, but perhaps he knows that. Perhaps he knows you’ve been doing this too.
He sits with you for drinks in comfortable silence, allowing you to simply feel what you’re feeling in the moment without words. He protests often when others seek to use your strength for their own gains. When you were hardly able to stand, vomiting light aether as you struggled to keep traveling through the Tempest, you recall that it was Thancred who held you upright with a strong and comforting arm around your back. You remember his quiet gaze toward you as he stood with the others in Amaurot before the final battle.
“No matter where you decide to go, I will be there, guarding your back.”
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You assumed Urianger would just rather keep to himself. He didn’t often speak to you directly. He would address the group, offer advice or knowledge as needed, but you thought him much more like a living encyclopedia than a person to connect with. His strange way of talking and of dressing didn’t help. You thought you bothered him with your persistent questions about Eorzea.
Slowly you began to notice the way his voice rose just slightly when he answered your question. There was a subtle excitement to it. You saw the slight shift in his stance and the way his hand gestures became more enthusiastic. He seemed to enjoy teaching you even if often you had difficulty understanding what he was trying to explain. Yet you always listened because it was the only time you felt you understood who he was.
Then he asked you to assist Alisaie in her venture into the Coils and you noted the sudden emotion in his voice when he spoke. The usual quiet and somewhat monotoned lecture voice replaced with a soft concern for someone he cared about. You saw his demeanor change drastically when Moenbryda joined and witnessed the barely concealed grief when she was lost. You see his face for the first time, filled with regret and sorrow as you all stand before Minfilia to bid her take the Warriors of Darkness to the First. The anguish on his face was like nothing else.
You see that look again when he admits he lied about the vision of your death. Though his methods are questionable you realize that at some point during your journey Urianger began doing whatever he could to look out for you. All he ever does, every step and action he takes, is to protect those he loves. That included you.
When he kneels before you by way of apology for his deception about his vision he looks at you as one looks at their most loyal and trusted friend.
“I understand the precarious nature of thy condition. Nonetheless, it is my wish to remain at thy side for as long as I am able.”
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You were certain Alisaie hated you. She accepted your help so begrudgingly you felt you were twisting her arm. For awhile she mostly ignored you in pursuit of her goal. You were struck by her determination and stubbornness to seek the truth despite the dangers. The deeper you both got to the truth the more it hurt her yet she never gave up. You began to understand the depths of her sorrow and just how much she missed her grandfather. Like you she felt a painful sting of loneliness.
Over time you noted her eyes beginning to linger at your back when you rushed into battle or how she began to try to fight too. And when all was said and done she smiled at you so gently and thanked you so sincerely that you realized you would miss her company.
You never asked her what happened on her journey although she gave you some insight here and there. The conversation you have with her underneath the stars sticks out in your memory. Unlike the others you had come to know, Alisaie was never hard to understand. She wore her heart on her sleeve and for that you appreciated it. You always knew where you stood with her from the beginning and where you stood now. Those places were vastly different.
She was all you had for awhile. You watched her push through her own fears over the other Scions falling into an unawakenable slumber in order to support you. Even so you felt her desperation, the way she clung to you in pure fear that you'd leave her too. She'd never know how hard you clung to her in return even if you couldn't show it. When she was lost like the others you felt you'd let her down. You felt that loneliness all over again and you knew Alisaie would understand it best.
Alisaie depends on you. She is inspired by you, fiercely protective of you yet always in competition with your achievements. Yet you know she is the first to stand at your side and face whatever it is without question. Her trust and faith in you is unwavering. You wonder how she'd react if she knew that she inspires you. You want to live up to her vision of the Warrior of Light that she loves so much.
In the final hallway facing the doorway of flames, she stood at your side then too. Her gaze was steel as she stared into the fire but her expression barely concealed her worry.
“I won’t ask you to hold back—that time is long past. I’ll just try to snuff out the worst of the embers before they reach you.”
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You don't feel like more than a means to an end for Alphinaud. More than anyone else he treats you as his personal tool and fighter. When he looks at you his expression always seems cold. He waves a hand to send you off, tells you pointedly where to go and what to do. You think you should resent this more and maybe a small part of you does. Either way you accept it as how things are. You're use to it, you suppose.
When you see him sitting there after that night in Ul'dah, head hung and barely able to speak without his voice breaking, any budding resentment you may have had in your heart wilts. He and Tataru are all you have left and you're all they have in return. You got use to it, being alone. Or so you thought. Suddenly the loneliness descends around you and only then did you realize you had so much. Now just like that it was all gone. You would give anything to protect what you had left.
He changes so drastically but slowly and you get to witness it. You almost don't realize it until much later when Estinien laughs about how worried Alphinaud was about you. When you turn your heard to watch him run off in embarrassment something warm blossoms in your chest. Were you ever a tool to him or did he simply not know how else to treat you? Maybe you were the one who made it that way.
Alphinaud never stops growing. He is the one you depend on the most. You cannot recall an adventure without him. All the hardships you endure you share with him--every loss and fear. This hits you hard and fast when he chooses to leave, to head into the Empire alone, and then goes missing. Have you ever walked a new road without him? He expresses worry one day that he depends on you too much but you realize the same is true for you. You could not imagine a life without him at your side.
As the light poisons you from within, threatening your friends the more it grows, Alphinaud simply smiles at you. His expression is warm.
“I once said that I wanted to fight for Estinien—that I wanted to save him, not let him be sacrificed for a cause. And now I say the same to you.”
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You are the Warrior of Light. You accepted this when Hydaelyn spoke to you and you would never wish for that to change. Surrounded by people who love you, they walk this path beside you without fear. Had you never taken the first step you would not have found this happiness. You accepted the offer to join with the Scions that fateful day in the Waking Sands. Minfilia extended her hand to you. Her smile was hopeful and gentle. You hold this memory close to your heart.
These days you step into the Rising Stones and are immediately greeted with smiles. You often smell something cooking or hear the tea kettle whistling as Tataru excitedly tells you she prepared it for your return. You hear the twins bickering as G'raha laughs. In the corner Y'shtola speaks with a deep sigh about Thancred's recent injury sustained from carelessness on the field. Urianger heals him as she does so but he takes a moment to lift his head and smile at you.
You are not alone. You had friends, once, who wanted to be with you on your adventures. Then suddenly, one day without warning, they weren’t. To follow the path of the Warrior of Light isn’t an easy one. Maybe it was too much for them. Maybe you weren't worth it in the end. Now it no longer matters because you found something better than friends.
You recall Minfilia's smile.
“In time, I hope you will come to think of us as family.”