Chapter Text
“Utaaaahimeeee!” Gojo grinned at Utahime with mischief and moved to poke her nose, pausing when he took in her forlorn expression.
“Can you just…not, Gojo?” Utahime sighed, too defeated to deal with Gojo’s antics today.
Today’s mission had been rough, the cursed spirit she’d faced off with almost too strong for her to handle alone, reminding her yet again of her own weakness. Gojo could have handled it with his eyes closed and he was definitely not someone she wanted to see right now. She didn’t need to hear him teasing her about how weak she was. Typically, she could shrug his comments off and brazenly threaten him, but right now she was sure she might cry rather than yell. She couldn’t stand the idea of Gojo seeing her cry. She would be humiliated for life by such a pathetic display and Gojo would never let her live it down. It was missions like today that made her question her place as a sorcerer. Maybe she should follow Nanami’s example and find a normal job and leave cursed spirits to people like Gojo. Even if he hadn’t managed to stay away from their life for very long. She was sure she would be more successful at leaving this life behind her.
“Ehh, what’s got you so down, Utahime?” Gojo prodded, looking almost concerned for her for once.
Utahime blinked rapidly and turned away so he couldn’t see the tears shining in her eyes. His concern was even worse than his ridicule. Gojo Satoru wasn’t a thoughtful person when it came to her. He was rude and obnoxious most of the time, invading her personal space and teasing her about everything. He could be fun to hang around sometimes, and she even felt friendly towards him when they were in a group and his attention wasn’t focused solely on her, but they weren’t exactly friends. She considered them friendly acquaintances who just happened to hang out in the same friend group. Utahime didn’t want or need his pity or ridicule.
He always reminded her of how weak she was after all. She wasn’t sure if she could handle the reminder right then when she was feeling so vulnerable. She was so pathetic.
“Leave me alone Gojo,” Utahime muttered without her usual bite, hoping he’d just give up for once and go on his way. “I don’t want to talk to you right now.”
“Hey, Utahime, don’t be like that. You can tell your friend Gojo anything,” Gojo cajoled.
“We’re not friends,” Utahime retorted, grasping onto her irritation at his antics and using it as a shield. “So, you don’t have to worry about me.”
Utahime stomped away, missing the stricken expression on Gojo’s face when he heard the certainty in her tone.
XX
The first thing she did when she got home was strip down and hop into a bath. Her muscles ached from her ordeal today and she was sure she bore more scars across her body than she had this morning. Her injuries had been serious enough that Shoko had scolded her severely after healing her and lectured her on knowing when it was time to run away from a fight. Utahime hadn’t needed the lecture to know how lucky she was to be alive. A first grade cursed spirit had made enough mistakes that she’d been able to get the upper hand, but it was a close fight. She'd won out of pure luck and had accepted her death during the fight. She still wasn't sure how she'd survived and it made her all the more aware of how weak she was in comparison to many of her colleagues.
And of course, she had to see Gojo Satoru directly afterwards, when she was still feeling wrung out and deeply conscious of her brush with death. He’d saved her once already because of her own carelessness when they were younger. She shouldn’t need him to save her again. She regretted her words to him though. We’re not friends. Even if it was kind of true, it was rude of her to point it out. She tolerated his behavior because he was friends with Shoko and Nanami, or as much of a friend as any of them could be to him after what happened with Geto. Gojo was always so irreverently cheerful that sometimes she wondered if he could ever be serious about anything. Even when he fought, he was carefree, if particularly ruthless. It would worry her if he didn’t have Infinity to protect him. Despite his ability to infuriate her with a few words, she found she still didn’t want to be deliberately cruel to him, and her statement might have fallen under that category. Just another reminder that Gojo Satoru was different than the rest of them with his Six Eyes and Limitless abilities and insane amounts of cursed energy.
Utahime sighed and got of the now cold bath water. She’d been selfish to lash out like that. She had her own problems, but she didn’t need to drive away her allies because of her own bad mood. She didn’t want to face Gojo so soon, but she knew this would hang over her until she at least apologized after he’d shown what could have passed for genuine concern. And when he mocked her apology, she’d feel a lot better about being rude to someone who deserved it. Mind made up, Utahime redressed into something casual before heading out the door. Afterwards she’d see if Shoko was free for a few drinks. It had been weeks since she’d let loose and now was a good as time as any.