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There is a gut wrenching tension that is rippling across Raya’s entire body and her stomach has poised itself to give up very quickly on the life it had. Her palms are sweaty and there is a lump in her throat that refused to shift regardless of how many times she persistently swallowed.
She stood not meters from her father, the Chief enjoying the first rays of sunshine across the Heart Lands as he always did at this time of day. Something about refusing to waste the small luxuries of life after losing six years.
Six years.
The reason she stood there with her hands wrung out and staring at her father as if her wide and mildly fearful gaze would magically transport her thoughts to his head so she wouldn’t have to say a single thing.
“Raya-...” Benja calls out, finally turning to offer his daughter a smile. There is a brief flicker of concern across his eyes, taking in the sight of his child and how she wrung her hands out, averting her gaze from his. “You know you are welcome to join me… if that is what you wish.”
Six long years.
Raya had always wanted this; wanted her father back.
It was her cause to fight, her stark reminder of what all her struggles meant and now here he was with a caring smile and open arms once more.
But it had been six years and that was a lot of time passing.
The world had changed and so had she.
There was a lot of weight that rested on her shoulders, hands smeared in crime. No corner of the world was left unturned to find Sisu and a lot of people likely suffered for her endeavours. Would he have approved of the lengths she went to for Kumandra?
The bile was bitten back as she crossed the space between herself and Chief Benja, settling at his side and staring out at the golden hued waters.
“Is something bothering you, Dewdrop?”
That old nickname struck chords deep within her soul, resonating with a twisted nostalgia and a sense of unworthiness. She was no longer someone who deserved that title, not after how she very nearly turned herself away from ‘Kumandra’ and daring to trust again.
She nearly killed Namaari.
There suddenly seemed to be more nails in her proverbial coffin, overwhelmingly so. “Yeah-... Yeah, please.” Her voice is a weak croak, a faint sting at the corners of her eyes was rapidly blinked away; she was not so frail as to cry at a nickname nor the crushing weight of expectations and the need for her fathers approval.
Of all the things that Raya wanted to say and rid from her chest, today was not the day to unburden herself of the crimes of her past but the hope of her future and the warm smile that would be waiting for her when she finished this talk.
Benja’s heart twisted rather angrily as he wanted his daughter clear her throat, to rid herself of those unshed tears. She was hurting somewhere deep and he was very aware of how he could not see the cuts that caused her this pain.
Six years...
Of course, he had been told of Raya’s heroics and how she saved the world; how she took upon herself to don the mantle that he gave her. She had put the gemstone back together despite all odds and saved the world. What's more, she even brought back the dragons…!
Benja could never give voice to how proud he was of Raya and he hoped that she knew it.
“Pa-...” Raya draws in a heavy breath hoping it would steel her otherwise iron spine (It suddenly feels a lot like rubber in this moment). “It’s been a few weeks and i’m… glad we-...”
Her hands wring out, grasping into the loose cloth of her pants. There had been an entire planned conversation in her own mind, flawless and to the point, but it had fled the second her mouth had opened.
“Take your time, Raya.” Benja soothes, a hand setting upon Raya’s shoulder and squeezing lightly. “Whatever it is, know that I love you and I am so very, very proud to be able to call you my daughter. You have always been the light of my life and nothing will change that.”
Whatever this was amounting to, whatever plagued Raya’s thoughts, he would be there to console her through it and offer whatever council he could. There was no denying that Benja’s mind raced with the possibilities of what ‘it’ could be though…
She did not deserve a father like Benja, Raya deduced silently at the back of her mind as words ever so gently soothed her worries.
The confession was nothing so heavy and certainly not what Chief Benja was expecting nor was Raya expecting the brief torrent of words that fell from her maw as she turned to face the man.
“I love Namaari, father.” She began, her jaw set and hands clenched into fists. There was a heavy determination to her gaze that barely masked the childlike worry of losing her parent to her words. “I have no inclination to men and I would-... If you would honour me by blessing our relationship-…”
A strong start but what was done was done.
She could only wait for his reply and pray it was a good one.
Benja’s eyes widened, the information sinking in though it was nothing new. Raya was not so subtle as she believed herself to be especially around that Fanged Princess.
“Oh, Raya…” He responds, pulling her into a warm embrace. “Is that what was worrying you?”
“I-...?” The hug is returned, curling into her father with a faint grimace. “It-... Yes.”
“Little Dewdrop, you know that I only care for your wellbeing and happiness. If the Princess of Fang makes you happy and treats you well then I would be a fool to turn her away from our family.” Benja leans back, smiling softly down at his daughter. “But I may also have a confession… Your worry might be a little baseless, I already knew about you and Namaari.”
Not only was her mother an absolutely appalling woman at keeping it from him but the subtle glances…?
From the way Raya could barely cease to mention her at every talk she gave about reforming the Dragon Gem but the longing stares, the quiet moments away and tender touches that were so very far from platonic?
“It is very apparent that you both care for each other. You have my blessing but you never needed it. You are your own woman and you are free to make all the choices you wish even if… I disapprove of some of the more reckless ones.” Several strands of hair are smoothed back from Raya’s face as Benja carefully withdraws from the touches of reassurance and warmth that the girl needed.
Was she crying?
No, definitely not.
There was indefinitely something in her eye and if anyone dared challenge her on it--
“Thank you, pa…” Her smile, Benja decided, was well worth the small speech and embrace he gave. Raya looked lighter all of a sudden and it did his old heart good to see it.
“Go on, I believe your girlfriend is likely worrying as to where you have ran off to, mh?” Benja followed his words with a playful nudge and a knowing look that Raya scoffed at. “You can tell her the good news.”
“I’ll let you know that she’s asleep right now and doesn’t even know i’m here! So I could very well go for a morning walk or anything other than crawl back to her!” Raya puffed up, arms folding with mild indignation. The walk didn’t sound like a bad idea though…
“I don’t know if I should be offended or not.”
Raya paused, head thwipping around to stare at the quietly approaching newcomer.
Namaari.
Benja offered a polite dip of his head, appraising Namaari for a split second before greeting her as an extension of his family. “Enjoy your morning, both of you. If you have need of me, you’ll know where I am.”
His hand clasps Namaari’s shoulder as he passes, his smile barely wavering from paternal warmth before continuing onwards past them both.
Stillness settled into both of their bones and only when Benja had turned a corner did Raya lunge forwards to throw herself into Namaari’s arms with an audible laugh that reverberated across the morning courtyard.
Namaari chuckled, catching the woman with a slight backwards stumble. “So… it went well?”
“Yeah…”
“I hate to tell you this, almighty saviour of Kumandra, but I told you so.”