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Austin, Texas lies under a downpour of rain the first night that TK spends the night at Carlos’ house. The rain is steady and loud, drowning out the rest of the world except for the pocket of space they’ve carved out for themselves.
The aftermath of long, grueling shifts and a B+ movie with a predicable plot line leaves the two of them asleep on the couch before either can do anything about it, a crack of thunder signaling their mistake well past midnight. Carlos jolts at the sound, legs dropping to floor from where he had them propped up on the coffee table and nearly sending TK to the floor given that his head had been pillowed by Carlos’ lap.
“Shit,” TK groans with an aggressive rub at his eyes. “What time is it?”
Carlos squints at his phone as the backlight illuminates to show the home screen. “One forty-seven in the morning.”
“Sorry,” is said around a wide yawn before TK looks at him with one eye open against the TV light. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
Another roll of thunder shakes the house with the steady rain picking up its cadence against the windowpanes. Carlos falls back against the couch, eyes closed and barely awake. “Me either. Guess we were tired. Still am.”
“Yeah, I better get home,” TK says as he shuffles up from the couch and searches for the shoes he kicked off under the coffee table. Carlos cracks an eye open to watch him duck down to reach underneath just as a flash of lightning flickers through the house.
“You should just stay. It’s late and the storm is pretty bad.”
TK smacks his head on the lip of the table as he straightens at the suggestion, rubbing at it with a wince. “Um..I-“
“It doesn’t have to mean anything,” Carlos amends while standing from the couch. He makes himself busy by turning on the light above the stairs and shutting the TV off. “It’s just safer if you stay.”
TK’s mouth goes dry at that, heart beating double time at the word he feels like he’s never quite been able to grasp, but knowing the closest he’s ever came to it is right here next to Carlos.
“You can even take the couch if you want,” Carlos offers in TK’s silence while coming to stand in front of him, calm despite the storm raging outside and the one brewing across TK’s face. He reaches out and settles his hands on TK’s sides, rubbing gently up and down. “Hey, it’s alright. If it’s too much for you, I’ll wait up for you to text me that you made it home.”
The rain beats against the house under the rumbles of thunder coming quicker than they did minutes before and Carlos’ hands are warm against him, soothing him in a rhythm much slower than the cadence of the storm. He drops his shoes to the floor and circles his arms around Carlos’ waist.
“No, you’re right,” TK swallows thickly around the panic pushing air out of his lungs. “It’s…safer to stay.”
Carlos pulls him close, their bodies flush enough that TK knows he can feel how fast his heart pounds as breaths come and go. He presses a kiss to the side of TK’s head before asking, “Do you want the couch?”
Flashes of lightning race across the house before dousing it in darkness as the power cuts off and on until deciding it can withstand the surge of electricity. TK holds onto Carlos harder in the amber glow of the light above the stairs. “I want you.”
Carlos bumps his head against TK’s with a promise of, “You have me,” before leading him up the stairs.
They forgo any sort of nighttime routine and tuck themselves into bed with only a few seconds of hesitation. They settle on their backs, fully clothed in shorts and t-shirts, leaving a strip of distance between their shoulders beneath the comforter.
The room is dark, the blue glow of the alarm clock too dim to put out any light to see by so it’s only the sporadic flickers of lightning that allows them to see anything but silhouettes. It eases TK’s nerves somewhat, allowing him to relax underneath the second blanket of security.
“Is this okay?”
The question pushes TK further down into the mattress, settling him there in a way that seems a bit unfair. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“What for?”
If he feels the backs of Carlos’ fingers against his, he doesn’t bother moving away. “We both agreed to give this thing a real chance, so I don’t want you to think that this is still me keeping you at arm’s length.”
“If you’re not ready-“
“But I am,” TK says with a surge of courage that has him grasping Carlos’s hand underneath the covers. He still can’t bring himself to look anywhere but the ceiling. “I’m just afraid.”
Carlos’ thumb strokes the back of his hand. “Of what?”
TK takes a deep breath and lets it out much slower than his lungs want before turning his head to seek out Carlos’ gaze in the dark. Their eyes meet under a thunder stroke and TK whispers at the end of it, “That you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m going to screw it up.”
Carlos turns on his side to face TK completely, tugging on his hand until TK does the same. Their hands are still intertwined, resting on the mattress between them as Carlos kisses TK’s knuckles. “I won’t let you screw it up.”
TK rolls his eyes, his amused snort echoing around the room. “Seems like a lot of work on your end.”
“You know what they say,” Carlos counters, voice steady and refusing to tease. “The best things in life aren’t free.”
TK squeezes Carlos’ hand. “But shouldn’t it be easy?”
Carlos wiggles his hand free of TK’s grasp and shuffles closer, pulling him into an embrace beneath the sheets. TK’s head comes to rest just under his chin and Carlos presses a kiss to the crown of it. He hugs him tight, knowing what he’s about to say could go either way.
“To love you? It is. To make you believe you deserve it, not so much, but there’s not a day that’s went by yet where I haven’t wanted to try.”
He feels TK stiffen in his arms, but the fingers twisting the fabric of his t-shirt at his back are steady and firm. “Carlos…”
“TK-“
TK leans back, nose bumping into Carlos’ jaw as he frowns at him. “It’s not nice to interrupt someone when they’re trying to tell you they love you.”
A laugh escapes Carlos quicker than he can think to stop it, his whole body shaking with it as he tries to mute his delight by muffling it into his pillow. He bites his lip, trapping his happiness behind his teeth enough that he can find TK’s gaze in the dark. Once he does, he leans forward and kisses TK, fast and heavy, their lips not quite meeting right as their mouths are desperate to keep an uptick in the corners.
“I’m glad you decided to stay,” Carlos says and TK feels it across his skin and in his chest, and deep in his belly.
“So much for this not having to mean anything.”
Carlos pulls him to his chest, wrapping him in his arms, blankets and the kind of love TK deserves. “Yeah, but I’m happy that it did.”
He feels TK’s hand drift slowly up and down his side, his breath ghosting across his chest, and hopes that one day in the future TK will decide to stay forever.