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It was just a small fight, Miya Atsumu thought. Just a small fight, they'll be okay the next day. His soft whines to cuddle, tugging at his boyfriend's arm, is met by Sakusa Kiyoomi's glares and sighs. Atsumu's giggles fill the room as he slips under Kiyoomi's phone, "Come on, Omi—"
"You are too fucking clingy and high maintenance for me to handle! I need a break!"
And Atsumu, sitting on his couch in complete shock with his hands curling around his pants, the fabric crinkling beneath his grip, can only blink blankly. His hazel eyes are already glistening, his bottom lip wobbling, his voice barely above a whisper, "What do you mean...?"
"You are more work than you are worth sometimes, Miya. I cannot handle you"—Atsumu's mind is empty, the white noise buzzing in his ears because what is Omi saying? High maintenance? Clingy? But, Omi told him before that he loved how sweet Atsumu was, that the quirks others called annoying were lovely to him. He said he loved him.
Omi said he loves Atsumu.
Kiyoomi does not even bother sparing the still man a glance as he turns on his foot, slamming the door of the Miya household as he walks out.
The door draws Atsumu out, the boy stumbling to his feet because where the hell is Omi going? Atsumu lives in Hyogo and Omi lives in Tokyo! He is supposed to stay the night with Atsumu, where would he go? Did he even grab his jacket? Were Omi's wallet and phone still on the kitchen counter?
Fumbling into shoes without his socks on, the blanket left discarded on the floor, Atsumu might have grabbed his keys, but he can barely remember as he falls through the door. "Omi-kun? Omi Omi—"
Kiyoomi turns to face him, Atsumu shivering in just a t-shirt and shorts that he was ready to fall asleep in, Kiyoomi's jacket and things in both hands. "Miya." He accepts his things back, but the annoyance is still in his voice, his eyebrows furrows as Atsumu tries to smile, "I am tired, Miya. I cannot continue this anymore."
"Omi—?"
"Whatever this is, it ends here and now. I do not want to see you anymore, do not contact me again."
Atsumu cannot move as Kiyoomi leaves him behind in shock, never turning back once. His fingers are turning blue, his huffs of breath fogging up the air as tears stream down his cheeks in confusion.
They started dating during their second year, and even with the eight hour travel distance, they stayed together for nine months.
Sure, Atsumu noticed how their calls and text conversations became shorter, how they always were initiated by the faux blonde, how Kiyoomi's smiles started to disappear completely each time he saw Atsumu, but he was confident they would be okay.
Because it was Kiyoomi.
Kiyoomi, who confessed to him because Atsumu is too clumsy to know how to do so. Kiyoomi, who reassured him that his hyper personality did not scare him away. Kiyoomi, who was willing to travel to see him and who was willing to open the door for Atsumu. It was Kiyoomi.
Kiyoomi, who is already gone by the time Atsumu lifts his head at the sound of his name.
"Tsumu?" Maybe Osamu and Atsumu constantly tell each other they hate the other, maybe they fight and argue, maybe they do not show affection, but the moment he sees his brother sobbing on the floor outside of their house, his plans with Kita Shinsuke become unimportant. "Tsumu? We should go inside, okay? Why are you wearing so little, it is winter—"
"Samu...? I thought you—with Kita-san—"
Shinsuke turns the corner from the store with a bag in hand, which he nearly drops when he sees them. "Atsumu? Osamu? What is going on?"
And Atsumu can do nothing but break into loud sobs. The soft sniffling from before grew into broken screams, Osamu instantly pulling his twin into his arms and stumbling to the door. When he moves to pull out his keys, he finds the door still unlocked. "Oh, Tsumu..." He whispers, dragging and falling onto the couch with his brother sobbing. "I am here, I am right here..."
"Samu... why will no one love me...?" Osamu can only tighten his grip, inhaling sharply as he shifts his gaze to where Shinsuke had entered the kitchen to prepare something warm for Atsumu. "Ma and pa... even gran... Kita-san... Samu, why can no one love me...?"
He swallows the lump in his throat, unable to find the words to deny him, because he is right. Their parents favored him over his older brother, always pushing the latter aside to fend for himself. The rest of the family ignored him whenever they saw him.
When Osamu told Atsumu he loved Shinsuke before, he can still remember how Atsumu's smile faltered, and he was prepared to fight because his homosexuality was not something for Atsumu to hate him for.
But, Atsumu just laughed and rolled his eyes, he made a jibe that, "Are you sure your ugly face will not scare him away?"
Osamu had yelled at him, telling him to "Shut your trap!" and if he lingered for a moment, he may have seen how Atsumu's smile missed his eyes.
He helped wingman Osamu with Shinsuke, and Osamu did not find out until the team made fun of Atsumu for being so obvious with his crush on Shinsuke.
It seemed to be a joke when Atsumu laughed along, but Osamu caught Rintarou comforting the boy in the middle of the night with hugs and store-bought snacks. He knew it was true. Atsumu, while setting Osamu with Shinsuke together, liked the same boy.
Every time Atsumu wanted to be loved by someone, they chose Osamu, and Osamu knew it himself, too. The one time Osamu tried to say he loved him, he can still remember Atsumu smiling through tears, "That does not count, Samu... I have your face, I have your skills, I have your DNA… I am your twin...
"I am you"—Osamu could barely breathe as Rintarou began knocking on the door to visit his best friend—"just worse."
Now, sitting beside his sobbing brother, the words clogging his throat, "Tsumu, you are loved. People love you, you are not unlovable! You are amazing—" And Atsumu can only force out a laugh, voice cracking.
"I am too much of a pain in the ass, right...? I should be more like you, Samu... If I was more like you—" Atsumu cannot even finish the thought, memories of Kiyoomi shouting and walking away flashing in his eyes. Every question of what happened are left unanswered, the younger brother simply holding him as the confidence he displayed died away.
The moment Shinsuke finishes making dinner, there is a bang on the front door, "Atsumu?!" Osamu welcomes the boy in, "Is his boyfriend not here?" Rintarou hisses at the gray haired boy, whose eyes widen as he realizes what probably happened.
"I... Tsumu did not say anything to me..." Osamu's hands clench, "I am going to kill —"
"Osamu, Suna, that is enough." They both pause to see Atsumu wobbling beside Shinsuke. Without a second to wait, Rintarou rushes to Atsumu and grabs him to help him back to sit somewhere.
"Rin...?"
Rintarou could barely force out a neutral voice, anger slipping onto his face. "What happened, Atsumu? What did that bastard—"
"It is not his fault, Rin." Atsumu whispers, the couple exchanging a look before they all claim the couch once more, wrapping the blonde under blankets.
"Where is he?" Shinsuke interjects before Rintarou can snap, Osamu also fuming silently beside him because everything made so much more sense now.
Atsumu shakes his head, "I don't know, he was supposed to stay over..." Rintarou tugs him closer to let Atsumu wrap his arms around him, letting the blonde fall against the crook of his neck. "I made a mistake—" Rintarou scoffs, glaring at the wall across him as if he was ready to burn a hole through it.
"I am pretty damn sure that asshole fucked up."
"That is not—"
"Last time you guys fought, he said you should respect his boundaries as if calling him was 'too much' for him to handle."
"I was too—"
"He also told you that you were being selfish for asking to meet up. Atsumu, he had a damn problem with you asking for permission!"
"I—"
"Do you remember he called you disgusting multiple times? His half-hearted excuses? How many bad days has he had when he hurt you?!
"And don't tell me I don't understand! I know he hurts you! On purpose or not doesn't matter, emotional or physical neither!"
There is a moment of silence, "He said I was clingy and high-maintenance, that I was more work than I was worth...
"Am I that terrible—?"
"Terrible for what? Being a considerate boyfriend that actually tries to accommodate?" Rintarou shakes his head in disbelief, "I don't understand why you stayed with him. He isn't worth all your time and energy."
"I wanted to be Samu..." His words slur together, his eyelids drooping, the yawn seeping into his voice, "Want to be happy..."
Rintarou, already accustomed to these talks, knows how Atsumu's lips get looser when more emotional and tired, "You should sleep, okay?"
Atsumu whines under his breath, mumbling, "Just forget... about all this..."
With an eye roll, "Whatever, you big baby."
"Sorry..."
"Don't be, just sleep."
"Whatever you want, goes." He promises, glancing to see Osamu ready to barge out of the door to hunt a man.
With Atsumu asleep against him, Rintarou speaks to the other two under his breath, "I am down to murder—"
"No, no killing." Shinsuke pauses, glancing at the exhausted setter, "Suna, does Atsumu tell you about his relationship...?"
Rintarou nods slightly, nearly avoiding how Osamu grits his teeth. "Why didn't he tell me?"
Rintarou manages to shrug without jostling Atsumu awake, "You know how he can be. He's a brat who doesn't make sense."
"A brat." Osamu repeats, grabbing his brother's hand, "Yeah, a stupid brat..."
Shinsuke smiles slightly at the fondness on his boyfriend and his teammate's faces. "I'll finish cleaning up first, you guys go rest. We'll talk more in the morning, when Atsumu can tell us what happened"
Rintarou glances up from his friend for a moment before nodding slowly, "Osamu, get your big brother changed or something, I'll call my mom."
"Do your parents not know you are here?" Osamu deadpans at the boy.
"It sounded urgent so I came straight here." Rintarou rolls his eyes as he pulls out his phone to see missed calls littering his screen, "Holy shit—"
By the time Osamu places Atsumu into bed with clean clothes on, Rintarou is dragging himself upstairs to drop beside his best friend.
Maybe he missed it on Atsumu, but the tiny smile that makes the corners of Rintarou's eyes crinkle doesn't pass by Osamu. About to confront him, Rintarou sends a dirty glare as if he knows exactly what Osamu wants to say.
"Not a word."
With a roll of his eyes, Osamu grumbles, "You would probably be better than that jerk anyway, so you—"
"If Atsumu doesn't like me that way, I won't be better than anyone." He can only sigh, pushing back Atsumu's hair from his face. "Don't tell him or I will post all the videos I have on you." He warns, not that he really needs to because no one willingly gets on Rintarou's bad side. Besides Atsumu, Rintarou's pettiness would turn to posting some remarks online.
Besides Atsumu.
"Fuck that trash ex of his." Osamu grumbles, "Maybe you two should get together instead."
Rintarou blinks, lifting his head from the faux blonde to stare at the twin, who had turned his back to them. Smiling bitterly at Atsumu, the frustration lingering on his tongue. If he could make Atsumu turn his way, maybe they would have been together already.
But, the Atsumu Rintarou loves might have been destined to never be his. The Rintarou in Atsumu's life is his best friend, nothing more than that. He would always be there to comfort him while he cries over his heartbreaks.
"Whatever, I need sleep." He huffs, letting his head drop onto Atsumu's pillow, letting his eyes shut. His body relaxes into Atsumu's warmth and with another breath, he is dozing off.
When Atsumu wakes up, Rintarou is already awake and in the kitchen, grumbling as Osamu and Shinsuke act like a couple. "Ergh, disgusting—"
"Rin? You came?" No surprise, just relief.
Rintarou sends a smirk, "You're finally awake?"
"Shut your trap!" Atsumu slaps him lightly, sliding into the seat beside him.
Shinsuke and Osamu exchange a look, about to confront the boy when Rintarou sends them a glare and shifts the conversation, "Did you brush your teeth yet?"
"Of course I did!"
"Are you sure? You still stink."
"Did you brush your bird's nest hair?!"
"At least it isn't piss."
"That's Samu's fault! He messed up my hair color!"
"What?! No it was because you decided to do it in the middle of the night!"
"And then you did it for me and made me look like this!" Atsumu whines, Rintarou smiling and shaking his head fondly. If it was up to him, he would avoid talking about human trash Kiyoomi for as long as possible, keeping Atsumu relaxed and pleased.
Shinsuke speaks up, "Atsumu? What happened yesterday?"
The air instantly tenses, Rintarou fighting the urge to glare at his captain as he lets Atsumu reach out and grab his hand. With a light squeeze, Atsumu manages to smile and shrug his shoulders.
"Nothing bad happened. I just made Omi-kun uncom—"
"Tsumu," his free hand is caught by Osamu, "please just talk to me... I'm your brother, you can rely on me, you know?"
"I know..." Atsumu swallows the lump in his throat.
"I love you." And Atsumu's entire body stiffens up, staring at him in shock. "I love you, Atsumu... You can tell me these things..."
And Atsumu smiles back, "I know.
"I love you, too."
They can all see the sadness dulling his hazel eyes.