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When their hands touched after the preliminary 3-on-3 match a spark shot through them. Tsukishima automatically pulled his hand away like he had been burned, and in a way he had been. The sensation was pleasant, warm and comforting in a way that electricity wasn’t supposed to be; but he didn’t want to feel it, especially not coming from some hot-blooded and loud mouthed shrimp.
Hinata simply looked up at him with wide eyes. Tsukishima waited for him to loudly yell and alert everyone else to their unfortunate condition but the shouts never came. He peered at him curiously, like he was trying to solve a particularly difficult math problem, but when Tanaka called his name he was easily pulled out of the moment.
It was fine, Tsukishima thought, they didn’t have to mention it. Acknowledging it would only make it worse.
“Are you okay?” Yamaguchi asked quietly, noticing his friend’s odd demeanor.
Tsukishima nodded once and resisted the urge to look at his still tingling hand, “Fine,” he said stiffly.
Yamaguchi would be happy to know that he had found his supposed soulmate, he had always been the more romantic one of the two of the, and he would have kept the information a secret if he asked, but Tsukishima said nothing about it. Having a soulmate, finding a soulmate, felt like private information. It was something that he wanted to keep close to his chest, which was odd because his instinct was to push Hinata away.
Hinata didn’t approach him after practice to talk about it. Or the next day, or the next. Tsukishima assumed that he wanted to put the whole thing behind them, and that was good enough for him.
Tsukishima had always thought that the rumors about soulmate connections were bullshit. He thought that until he was on a bus to Aoba Johsai for their first practice match, courtesy of the king of the court himself, and he felt his stomach roll with anxiety. Tsukishima didn’t usually get anxious, he was able to keep his cool in most situations but his insides clenched uncomfortably and for a moment he wondered how far they were from a bathroom.
He felt anxious until Hinata puked on Tanaka’s lap and suddenly the tension in his own stomach lessened. He still felt Hinata’s anxiety but it wasn’t as pressing or as nauseating. Tsukishima thought that maybe he should try to do something to calm him down but Tanaka’s easygoing attitude about the entire situation was already helping.
On the court Hinata’s anxiety spiked again and Tsukishima didn’t know if there was anything he could do other than try and keep a level head and hope his own calm transferred over. He didn’t think it worked because Hinata served the ball into the back of Kageyama’s head but after Tsukishima burst out laughing and they left the court to switch sides, he caught Hinata smiling at him.
His own frustration bubbled under his skin after Oikawa targeted him as the weakest receiver. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Hinata vibrating, it was one part Tsukishima’s frustration and one part his own eagerness to participate. It kind of disgusted Tsukishima, and he saw Hinata falter for just a second, but they both shook the feeling and concentrated on the game.
After they won Hinata put his hand on Tsukishima’s arm to get his attention and that same shock as before passed through them.
When Hinata got lost before their practice match with Nekoma, Tsukishima didn’t worry at all. By this point he had gotten used to having someone else’s feelings in the back of his head and unless Hinata was something other than ‘content’ or ‘excited’ then there was nothing to worry about. Even while lost he seemed happy, Tsukishima silently scoffed at his wayward soulmate, he was so weird.
Tsukishima wondered for a moment if he could somehow transfer worry over their weird connection but he didn’t actually feel worried and he didn’t know if he could fake feelings like that. He also didn’t want to actually worry Hinata, because he could still be an anxious mess when he wanted to be and there was no reason for Tsukishima to inflict that upon himself.
Hinata came back unharmed and Tsukishima’s suspicions were correct, he had nothing to worry about.
When they came face to face with Nekoma for the first time Hinata’s excitement spiked. Tsukishima had to stop himself from bouncing on his own feet because of how much his feelings bled through. It was annoying. Hinata was annoying, he didn’t know why he had to be stuck with someone like Hinata for the rest of his life.
Hinata glanced at Tsukishima for just a second but otherwise seemed unfazed by his soulmate's negative attitude. By now though, he was probably used to Tsukishima’s low level annoyance buzzing in the back of his head.
Tsukishima noticed quickly that Hinata’s excitement was not because of the match they were about to play, it was directed at one specific player, shy and mousy looking with bleached blond hair. His name was Kenma according to Hinata’s overly loud shout and Tsukishima was happy to see that everyone was equally surprised that the two seemed to know each other.
They explained that Hinata had stumbled across Kenma when he was lost but that didn’t explain the level of excitement that Hinata felt towards seeing him again. Tsukishima felt the jealousy in his chest even if he had a hard time putting a name to the feeling. But Hinata stopped his fawning over the opposite team to turn and give him a big reassuring smile.
He hated how much it made him feel better.
Tsukishima often had a hard time sleeping because he could feel Hinata’s determination coursing through his body. Hinata kept impossible hours and Tsukishima was tired of waking up at the crack of dawn because someone else was in a good mood, someone else who didn’t even live in his house.
But Hinata was so emotional and expressive that as he woke up he accidentally woke his soulmate up as well. It maybe would have been okay if Hinata compensated for his early wake up time with an early bedtime but for some impossible reason he seemed to be both a morning person and a night owl.
Tsukishima kind of hated him.
He felt sluggish during practice, they were preparing for Inter-High, and even Tsukishima’s bad mood wasn’t enough to keep Hinata down. It never was.
After being scolded for not being on top of his game, Tsukishima had enough. He didn’t care that much about volleyball but he wasn’t going to get in trouble for something that clearly was not his fault.
He grabbed Hinata’s wrist when no one was looking, ignored that spark that kept going through them when they touched, and hissed, “Go to sleep.”
“Huh?” Hinata titled his head, he had no idea what Tsukishima was talking about.
“You wake me up in the morning and keep me up at night, I want to sleep,” he said through gritted teeth.
Hinata at least had the gall to look embarrassed, “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t know,” he rubbed the back of his neck, “I’ll try to sleep more but it’s hard for me.”
Tsukishima resisted the urge to run his hands down his face, “You grow in your sleep, maybe that’s why you’re so short.”
“Really?” Hinata perked up, “I’ll sleep lots then!”
His sleep schedule barely changed, Tsukishima just had to adapt.
Hinata’s drive and determination pushed him to be better on the court, to try harder than he wanted to, made him strive to be better. He hated it so much. It was exhausting; his one more, one more, one more haunted his dreams whenever Hinata actually bothered to calm down enough to let him get a good night sleep.
All of his determination didn’t matter though because they were still beaten by Aoba Johsai in the third round of the Inter-High tournament.
Hinata’s grief weighed on him heavier than his own. At some points it was difficult to tell where his feelings stopped and his soulmate’s started. He could feel them getting caught in a feedback loop and he didn’t want to spiral because he was overloaded with emotions. Tsukishima took a moment to take a deep breath to try and calm himself down, if he didn’t do it Hinata definitely wasn’t going to be able to.
After the match Coach Ukai took them all out to a restaurant to restore their bodies and spirits. Tsukishima spent the entire bus ride taking measured breaths in an attempt to stay grounded and not get caught in Hinata’s emotional swell. Hinata exited the bus before he did and when he passed by Tsukishima’s seat he offered a small smile in thanks for keeping them both calm. Tsukishima predicted that he would be doing that a lot in the future.
In the restaurant Coach Ukai gave a small speech that brought the team to tears. Tsukishima was not a fan of crying in public, or crying, but Hinata made keeping his feelings contained more difficult than he expected. He bit the inside of his cheek and focused on the physical pain instead.
He didn’t want anyone to see him cry.
On the walk back to the bus Tsukishima lightly bumped his hand against Hinata’s, discrete enough that no one noticed, and Hinata turned to give him a watery smile, thankful for the calm and composed that Tsukishima radiated.
Midway through afternoon practice Hinata sat down next to Tsukishima and bumped their knees together. Tsukishima was getting used to the jolt he felt whenever they touched; he had done his research, something in their bodies was waiting for them to acknowledge each other and gave them the constant reminder that ‘this is supposed to be your person’. They didn’t touch often and they did it even less often when there wasn’t an emotional crisis.
Hinata rested his chin on the knee that wasn’t pressed against Tsukishima’s and looked at him curiously, “How are you so calm all the time?”
Tsukishima made a face, “How are you so excited all the time? It’s annoying.”
Hinata pulled his leg away and then bumped them lightly. He repeated the action over and over, each time they felt the spark that meant they were connected. It was a nice feeling but they still didn’t verbally acknowledge what it meant. The moment they said the s-word to each other the feeling would stop coursing through them every time they touched, like somehow their biology just knew.
“I’m just happy,” he said, still bumping their legs, “I can’t help it.”
Tsukishima could have pulled his leg away, part of him even wanted to, but it was difficult to pull away from your literal other half, “It’s annoying,” he scoffed.
Hinata smiled widely at him, “You’ve been annoyed less lately. I can tell.”
“You’re fault,” he grumbled.
He laughed loudly, like Tsukishima had told a great joke, “You’re welcome.”
When Tsukishima blocked Ushijima his hands stung from the force of the ball. Hinata felt the stinging in his palms like he had blocked the ball himself. Tsukishima’s pride was magnified, they tossed the feeling back and forth between them until he felt like he was drowning. He was relieved when they got a small break between sets, he needed to regain his composure.
Hinata made it difficult, but he always made it difficult. He could feel how much admiration Hinata had for him; It almost hurt, so he threw a snarky comment at him to try and cool him down. It worked, marginally, but them getting back on the court was a better distraction from the emotions swirling between him.
Tsukishima didn’t think about their connection again until he went to block the ball and pain shot through his finger. He heard Hinata quietly hiss behind him and Tsukishima knew that Hinata had felt it too. It made sense, he thought, he felt it a bit whenever Hinata received the ball with his face, but he didn’t know how much of the pain he felt or how much Hinata was feeling right now.
He was so focused on controlling the pain that he forgot to tell anyone that something was wrong. Hinata spoke up for him before they started the next rally, saying something was wrong with Tsukishima’s hand, and when he finally looked he noticed there was even a small smattering of blood.
In that moment he was filled with despair, he wanted to stay on the court and keep fighting. This was Shiratorizawa and their ticket to Nationals, but he was escorted off the court and towards the on-call doctor. He felt Hinata’s pride and determination in the back of his head and he wanted to stomp it out because he didn’t have anything to be hopeful about but instead he focused on it. It gave him something to think about other than the pain.
Akiteru met him and Kiyoko at the doctor’s station. He tried to glare at him for showing up when he was specifically asked not to come, but Aki shrugged like it was no big deal and he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to fight with him.
The doctor gently took his hand and examined it. Tsukishima kept a neutral expression and tried to focus on anything other than the pain, running through blocking strategies and keeping tabs on Hinata’s state to see if they were defeated.
Akiteru put a hand on his shoulder, “You’re allowed to be in pain, you don’t have to hide it.”
“I’m trying to keep it together,” Tsukishima said through gritted teeth, he didn’t need nor want a reminder that his finger still throbbed and he was probably negatively affecting Hinata. He didn’t want to care about his stupid soulmate but he did.
Tsukishima didn’t know what showed on his face but Akiteru’s eyes widened, “You found your soulmate then? Tell me about her,” he said excitedly and loud enough to draw both the doctor’s and Kiyoko’s attention.
“Him,” he corrected. Tsukishima pulled down his sports glasses and let them dangle around his neck so he could rub his eyes with his free hand.
Akiteru didn’t seem phased that his little brother had a male soulmate, he thought for a second and came to the correct conclusion, “Someone on your team then, don’t worry he probably doesn’t feel too much pain.” Aki smiled at him, trying to be comforting, but it didn’t help, he knew Hinata could feel his pain.
Tsukishima took a deep breath, maybe if he didn’t think about it, Hinata wouldn’t feel it, “He does,” he told his brother, “I know he does.”
“Your connection must be really strong then. Well, who is it?”
He glanced over to Kiyoko who was standing in the corner of the room pretending that she didn’t hear what they were talking about. When she noticed him looking she gave him a serious look back, “I can leave.”
“It’s fine,” he shook his head, “I know you won’t say anything,” Tsukishima rubbed his eyes again and turned to his brother, “It’s Hinata. Number ten.”
Akiteru didn’t look as surprised as he thought he would be, “He’ll keep your life interesting.”
After the match Hinata cornered Tsukishima in the bathroom after Yamaguchi yelled at him.
“Why are you upset?” he demanded.
Tsukishima looked away but caught Hinata’s reflection in the bathroom mirror, “I only blocked him once. I wanted to do more. It’s all your fault, you’re so annoying,” he found himself saying without meaning to.
Hinata took his injured hand and examined the bandages. Their skin didn’t touch so there was no spark, but oddly Tsukishima wished that there was. Maybe that feeling went through because Hinata stroked his bare wrist, “I’m glad you’re okay.”
The flood of affection was overwhelming.
“Do you have a soulmate?” Tsukishima asked his brother on the way home. He could remember Akiteru talking about wanting one, but then they stopped speaking and Tsukishima didn’t know if his brother had ever found his.
Akiteru was unusually quiet, “I wonder.”
He lowered his eyes at his brother, “What does that mean?”
“Not everyone gets along with their soulmate as well as you and Hinata,” Aki laughed humorlessly.
Tsukishima scoffed, “We do not get along.”
It wasn’t until later that night did Tsukishima realize that Akiteru dodged his question.
Tsukishima wanted to block Suna, he did, but he knew that it was impossible. So instead he made it possible for Hinata to receive. He trusted his soulmate to be there and he was. It felt… It felt amazing.
When the rally was over the two of them locked eyes and Tsukishima was almost overloaded with attraction, he didn’t know if it was his or Hinata’s or both but Hinata’s eyes dilated and they had to look away from each other before they did something stupid on the court like announce they were soulmates.
Between sets they both made a conscious effort not to stand near or touch each other even though Tsukishima felt the pull of his soulmate stronger than he ever had before. They managed to keep their distance all the way back to where they were staying, right up until it was their turn to bathe.
Hinata pulled him aside, tangling his hands into the hem of Tsukishima’s shirt before looking up at him with wide, amazed eyes. They were hit again with a wave of attraction, stronger this time, but it was coupled with the overwhelming urge to acknowledge Hinata as his soulmate. His hands itched to touch him and his body screamed ‘this is mine’ and he knew Hinata felt the same way.
Hinata smiled at him, “You like me,” his voice was thick with something that Tsukishima had never heard before.
“No,” he shook his head, “Those are your feelings.”
“Tsukki,” he leaned in close and tilted his head back, “Can I kiss you?”
Tsukishima cupped Hinata’s cheek and pulled him in for a kiss. It was electric, their bodies sparked where their lips met and it didn’t matter who was attracted to who because they both wanted this and it was the only feeling there to focus on, if it was the only thing Tsukishima ever felt again he would be okay with it. They had never gotten caught in a feedback loop quite like this before, one that they didn’t want to get out of, and they let the feeling of attraction build and build.
It was overwhelming. It was wonderful. It was something worth getting lost in.
“Tsukki?” they heard Yamaguchi call out from around the corner, “Where are you? We can finally use the bath.”
The two of them jumped away from each other, not wanting to get caught and explain what they were doing or why they were doing it.
They weren’t ready, just yet, to acknowledge what they knew was there.
Tsukishima hated that he didn’t realize Hinata was sick. He should have known, if anyone should have realized something was wrong, it should have been him. But he was filled with Hinata’s usual excitement and determination that he didn’t notice the underlying exhaustion.
His body screamed at him. His soulmate was sick and hurting and in distress only one room over and his insides burned to go and comfort him. He felt Hinata’s pain and his grief and he knew that he could do something to ease it but that would involve going in there and he wasn’t allowed to disturb Hinata because no one knew that they were soulmates.
Tsukishima stood up suddenly, ignoring Yamaguchi’s questioning, and stiffly made his way over to Takeda-sensei. If anyone would let him into that room it would be their kind-hearted sensei. Tsukishima stood a step away from him and cradled his hands in front of him. Takeda looked up from the book he was reading and offered him a small smile.
“Is there something I can help you with, Tsukishima?” he asked kindly.
“I want,” he swallowed roughly, “I need to see Hinata.”
Takeda-sensei squinted at him. Tsukishima knew that of everyone on the team he didn’t expect him to ask to see their fallen teammate, “You know I can’t let you do that. We don’t want anyone else to get sick.”
Tsukishima shook his head, “He’s sick from exhaustion, it's not contagious. It would be difficult for him to get me sick anyway because he,” Tsukishima paused and he noticed Takeda-sensei’s eyes widened, he knew what Tsukishima was about to say, “because he’s my soulmate. So, please.”
He didn’t say please very often, didn’t beg for things, but this was something he desperately needed to do.
Takeda-sensei nodded, “Okay, but only for a few minutes.”
Tsukishima quietly entered the small room Hinata had been sequestered in, he didn’t like that Takeda-sensei had followed him in but he kept his thoughts to himself. Hinata looked up at him with bleary eyes when he entered and reached a hand out like he was trying to get Tsukishima to him faster.
Tsukishima took his hand and sat down next to his futon. He brought Hinata’s hand to his own cheek and held it there, trying to let every comforting emotion he had flow into him, as if he could say ‘you are mine and I am yours and we are here together’ by that simple touch alone. But after a minute he felt Hinata’s arm tremble with the effort of keeping his arm raised and Tsukishima let him go.
Hinata whined pathetically at the lack of contact but Tsukishima rolled his eyes at him and slipped into the futon next to him. He pulled Hinata’s shirt up and tried not to worry about how warm he felt, then pulled his own shirt up so he could press Hinata’s bare back against his bare chest.
It was the most contact they had ever had. Tsukishima slung an arm around his waist and let himself touch Hinata’s stomach. Hinata sighed at the contact and tried to get closer to him, he wanted to crawl into Tsukishima’s skin and Tsukishima wanted to let him in. They needed this contact, this is what they had been denying themselves for months. They met almost ten months ago, it was ridiculous to think that they could ignore their connection for so long.
“Hinata,” Tsukishima whispered before he corrected himself, “Shoyou.”
Hinata wiggled in his arms so he could turn around and look at his soulmate, “Kei,” he said, breathless.
Tsukishima pressed his forehead to the top of Hinata’s head, ignoring how sweaty and gross he was, “You’re my soulmate.”
Hinata clutched the front of his shirt, “Yeah,” he whispered back, “You’re my soulmate.”
Their skin no longer buzzed where they touched, content with the acknowledgement of their bond. Tsukishima hated that he missed it but there was also something else different. He felt Hinata’s feelings much more strongly than he did just moments ago. It felt like a punch in the stomach but a few breaths later they settled.
Hinata laughed quietly against his chest before dissolving into a coughing fit, “You like me.”
“Ugh, you’re so annoying.”
But they both knew he was smiling.