Work Text:
‘So why do we have to do this again, it seems pretty pointless to me?’
Ymir sighed as she sat on the ground leaning against the cold metal of the car as her friend Annie Leonhart chewed up a mouthful of candy and spat it out into her hand
‘Because its funny’ Annie stated as she sticked the recently chewed up candy to the windscreen of the car ‘since when have you gone soft? Here chew some of them for me will ya’
Annie handed Ymir the packet of jolly ranchers as a look of disgust filled freckled girls face
‘Ew no, this whole thing is gross, can’t we just go back to your place and smoke?’
‘NO’ Annie angrily stated ‘I knew the second you started hooking up with the head cheerleader you’d turn into a little bitch’
‘We’re not hooking up, we’re dating’
‘Whatever, now can you please start chewing so we can get out of here quick?’
‘I really don’t understand why you feel the need to jolly rancher Mikasa Ackerman’s car, she seems nice’
‘Jesus Christ Ymir have you got worms for brains?’ Annie scoffed ‘she’s a complete bitch, have you seen her?’
‘I mean how has she targeted you specifically, what has she done that is so bad, you feel the need to break her wind screen with candy?’
Annie paused, she didn’t know what excuse she could give to Ymir because the truth was something she couldn’t disclose, something her herself didn’t want to face
‘Uhh you know just the general shoving me into lockers and shit’ Annie lied shoving more candy into her mouth
‘Thats weird, I get she’s popular and athletic but she’s always seemed pretty quiet, Historia has never said anything bad about her’
‘Thats because Historia’s like her’
‘I don’t appreciate you talking about my girlfriend that way, she’s changed’
‘Keep telling yourself that’ Annie pressed the last of the spit covered candy onto the windscreen ’now lets go, I’m in the mood to drink’
‘Thats what I like to hear’
All Annie had to do now was wait, she had to standby and wait for her reaction.
This would teach Mikasa.
It would teach her not to break her heart.
***
It all started two weeks ago, the one day Annie didn’t bunk her science class was the day that would change her perception of life, her perception of love.
To Annie life was pointless, we all just lived on this planet and one day we would die, it was as simple as that.
As she grew older her careless attitude also grew with her, she didn’t want to spend her precious time and energy on things that didn’t matter to her. School was one of them, Annie was walking on thin ice with low attendance and smoking on school property, this school had been incredibly lenient with her ways but if this continued she knew she was gone.
Her only friend was Ymir, they’d bonded over sharing the same spot under the bleachers for make outs and smoking, they were as thick as thieves, partners in crime, Annie found comfort in their same world view and was glad to finally have a friend who understood her.
Until Historia came into the picture. Ymir was the same but she had changed completely, she started to get her grades together, she’d even cut down on smoking and cut off all her other hookups, all over a closeted head cheerleader she claimed she was in love with
Love. The word made Annie feel sick to her stomach, how could two people completely change over fabricated emotions caused by some sort of imbalance? Annie was convinced love didn’t exist, that Ymir was just acting on hormones and she would be back to normal soon.
She would never change her ways for someone. Ymir was a fool.
Annie sat at the back of the class, her earphones were glued firmly in her ears and she spent her science lesson doodling small cats onto her books completely blocking out the rest of the class, science wasn’t of any interest to her, mechanics behind photosynthesis gave her a headache and the equations made her head turn.
After a class of doing absolutely nothing Annie felt a wave of relief as she heard the bell ring throughout the school, she was meeting with Ymir at break and Ymir didn’t really like to be kept waiting.
On the way to the exit Annie was stopped by a tall dark haired girl. Mikasa Ackerman, the head of the schools volleyball team, known for the quiet yet bold presence, much like Annie she seemed unapproachable yet was one of the most popular girls in school, with guys confessing their love at least once a week but they were always turned down and no one was ever able to figure out why.
‘Hey look I’m sorry if I accidentally did something mean to you or damaged your property, just drop it’ Annie shrugged trying to push past Mikasa, assuming she’d fucked up again
‘We’ve been partnered together for a project’ Mikasa coldly stated
‘I think I’m going to have to decline on that one, not really my thing’
‘You don’t have a choice’
‘I don’t do work, especially group projects, how about you do the project, put my name on it and thats a deal’
‘While usually I would do that its too big for me to complete by myself’
‘Sucks to be you then doesn’t it’ Annie frowned as she successfully walked past Mikasa and made her way to the exit
‘Hey Annie’ Mikasa called out to her ‘remember last year when all the drinks were spiked at homecoming, I heard they’re still looking for the person who did that’
Annie froze, knowing what Mikasa was getting at as she got closer
‘It would be such a shame if that person got caught huh, I heard the punishment is immediate dismissal’ Mikasa continued ‘you’re on thin ice at the moment, right Annie? I doubt your dad would be pleased, I heard somewhere he’s been looking into Military school’
‘You’re a fucking bitch, you know that right’ Annie snarled as she grabbed Mikasa’s collar in attempt in intimidate the stone faced girl
‘I have volleyball practice tonight so you’ll have to wait around for me, after that we’ll go to the library’
Annie stormed away, an angry look engraved into her face as she sought out Ymir
Ten minutes later she sat under the shadows of the bleachers unwrapping another sweet, sighing as she popped it into her mouth
‘So you just sat there at let her blackmail you?’ Ymir chuckled as she took a puff of her cigarette ‘thats unlike you’
‘I don’t think you realise how bad this is, if anyone finds out we did that last year we both could be expelled and I could be shipped off to an all girls boarding school or something equally as terrifying’ Annie expressed worriedly
‘Hm sounds like a dream to me’ Ymir smirked ‘and anyways doing work isn’t even that bad, this is all a big deal over nothing’
‘I don’t know anything about science and plus you have your girlfriend who bribes you to do work with I don’t even want to know what’
‘Maybe you should try it, you been seeing anyone new lately?’
‘You know I’m not about that life’ Annie sighed ‘there’s been I few guys but I never keep them around long, drop them as soon as soon as they start to develop feelings, cut them of quick and easy’
‘I used to be like that you know, but I was lonely. Dating Historia opened my eyes to so many things, I didn’t need to fill the void with meaningless sex anymore’
‘You’re talking out your ass, I don’t have a void, my life’s perfectly fine as it is’
‘Maybe you should give one of those boys a chance, you might like it’
‘Id rather die, they’re all sweaty and hormonal, Historia has melted your brain, life isn’t some sort of romcom’ Annie sighed standing up
‘I just want you to be happy, I care about you’
‘Well I am happy, worry about yourself’
Annie walked away to the back of the school, lessons weren’t on her mind right now and Ymir wasn’t cheering her up. She didn’t realise the severity of this situation, Mikasa could ruin their life and all over a silly little science project, she’d finally found friends and a sense of comfort at this school and Mikasa could take it all away all because of a stupid drunken prank they pulled
She sat against a cold brick wall, closing her eyes in relief, she was finally alone.
She lit a cigarette against her lips and inhaled the smoke, the nicotine rushing through her giving her a calm facade.
Everyone needed something to fill their void.
After a long day of doing absolutely nothing Annie made her way to the sports field to meet Mikasa, her stomach churned, she was going to throw up all the candy she consumed earlier. She hadn’t felt this nervous in ages.
Quietly Annie sat on top of the bleachers, she could see Mikasa practicing with the team, it was hard to miss her with her deep black hair and concentrated face, Annie couldn’t keep her eyes off her as she jumped and hit the ball, her magnetic playing style captured her attention and Annie couldn’t help but gawk at her tight volleyball uniform that didn’t leave much to the imagination.
After a few minutes Annie could see them rounding up their practice and she quickly made her way down to the field to meet Mikasa.
She approached the taller girl as she watched her down a bottle of water, sweat dripping off her forehead, the volleyball team giving her dark looks as she watched across the field, she’d probably victimised all of them at least once.
‘Uh hey Mikasa’ she greeted ‘can we get going now, I have stuff to do’
‘Oh yeah of course, let me just have a shower and get changed’
Annie silently cursed as Mikasa left her stranded on the field, she knew that this was take longer than needed, the last thing she wanted to do with her day was spend it with a popular try hard, especially one that was blackmailing her.
The library was quiet and stern as they walked in in silence, Annie didn’t know what to say to her, she was scared to say the wrong thing, Mikasa was in a completely different world to her. She was popular, loved by many and had a bright future, something that Annie didn’t have a chance of even dreaming of.
They sat down together and Mikasa took a bunch of books out of her bag and stared at Annie expressionless
‘You can work on cell division, I’ll start on stem cells’ Mikasa ordered as she handed Annie a textbook. The blonde girl stared aimlessly at the book, no idea what she was doing, she watched Mikasa absorb herself into the work and copied her movements attempting to look like she cared.
Her head started to hurt as she struggled to understand what she was supposed to be doing, her gaze wandered around the quiet room, her attention span already faltering and it had only been five minutes.
‘Um taking a bathroom break’ Annie lied as she walked away from where Mikasa was working, Mikasa barely noticing she had got up.
She made her way through the shelves of books, reading was Annies guilty pleasure, it helped her escape the reality of her life and absorb herself into someone else’s reality for a second. Her eyes scanned the plethora of colourful books, each carried their own story. Annie picked up a familiar book Mrs Dalloway she had read this book more than ten times, she couldn’t seem to get bored of it, the underlying themes seemed to enrapture her attention. She ran her fingers over the colourful spine and sighed, maybe she could get away with pretending to work while reading.
‘Mrs Dalloway, good choice’ she heard a voice say behind her. It was Mikasa.
‘Oh uh, have you read it?’ Annie asked as she turned to her in shock
‘Yeah its one of my favourites, I didn’t think it would be something you’d be interested in’
‘I guess I don’t look it huh’
‘You just don’t seem like the type of person to enjoy Woolf’
‘There’s a lot you don’t know about me Ackerman, you’re the type of person to judge a book by its cover’ Annie replied in an almost condescending flirty tone
‘You must not know me well either’
‘Hm I think I’ve got you down pretty well, head of the volleyball squad, everyone loves you, definitely peaked in high school, probably going to become a housewife to your high school sweetheart , pop out a few kids, heavy drinker-‘
‘You seem like the type of person to judge a book by its cover, not me’
‘Am I wrong?’
‘Completely, I have more dreams and aspirations that that, unlike you’
‘You’re probably right about that one’
Suddenly the tension was cut by a loud ringing from Mikasa’s phone, she turned away from Annie to answer it, leaving Annie stood in confusion looking down at the book in her hand. Something her and Mikasa had in common, something she’d never imagined to be possible.
‘I need to go’ Mikasa stated turning back to Annie ‘Eren wants to see me’
Eren Yeager, the schools golden boy. Top football player, all the girls fawned over him yet they all knew he held a torch for Mikasa, they were the schools top unofficial couple, no one could figure out why they weren’t together yet.
‘Boyfriends come before blackmailing study dates’ Annie joked silently relived that this awkward interaction was ending early
‘He’s not my boyfriend’ Mikasa coldly stated ‘we’re just really close’
‘There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, he’s a good looking guy’
‘You’re not getting off this quick Annie, I’m going to rearrange this’
‘I’ll look forward to it’ Annie sarcastically stated through gritted teeth as she walked out of the library, leaving Mikasa to wait for Eren
The next day Annie sat by herself underneath the bleachers, the day was cold and windy. She shivered as she opened another sweet, Ymir wasn’t here today, Historia wanted to see her which meant that she probably was tongue deep down her throat by now, Annie shuddered at that thought, Ymir and Historia were too sappy for her, when they’re together it looked like they were about to elope that second.
‘I heard this is where you hang out’ Annie looked up and saw Mikasa walking towards her, her black hair ruffled from the wind.
‘Why are you here?’ Annie asked as she shivered from the cold and Mikasa sat down next to her
‘Its disgusting here’ Mikasa grimaced as she observed the gum and burnt out cigarettes on the floor
‘Calm down princess, its not going to kill you’
‘We need to find a time to complete our project, I can’t fail this’
‘Why’s it so important to you, you have perfect grades anyway’
‘I have a scholarship to my dream college, I need to keep everything up to keep it’
‘Ah you might want to switch partners then, I’ll be useless’ Annie said popping candy into her mouth ‘jolly rancher?’
‘Sure, whenever I see you you’re always eating those, its weird’ Mikasa half smiled
‘I have a sweet tooth, I didn’t think you paid that much attention to me’
‘I do, I have an interest in you Annie’ Mikasa confessed ‘to be honest we didn’t get partnered together, I requested to the teacher to put us together, so I could get to know you’
‘Oh’ Annie hugged her knees blushing, trying to keep herself warm, no one had ever wanted to get to know her before, people were either scared of her or used her for sex, eventually the boys she was with usually caught feelings for her, she cut them off, scared of commitment, something always felt wrong but hearing these kind words coming from a girl made her feel different.
‘Are you cold? I can help warm you up’ Mikasa budged closer to her, their shoulders touching, Annie could feel herself get redder, her guard was completely down.
‘Whats so special about me? Why do you even care? I’m a loser’
‘I don’t know but to me you’re not a loser’ Annie felt Mikasa grab her hand, her hands her warm and calloused from volleyball, it was exactly how Annie imagined them to feel, she still couldn’t get her head around why someone as magnificent as Mikasa wanted to be around someone as hopeless as her
‘Mikasa!’ A loud voice shouted, Annie moved away in shock as she saw Eren approach where they were sitting ‘there you are I’ve been looking everywhere for you, Armin was worried’
‘Don’t worry about me I’m fine’ Mikasa groaned, visibly upset by the interruption
‘Why are you in this filthy place, with her’ Eren grimaced as gesturing towards Annie
‘Ill leave you two alone, I’m clearly not welcome’ Annie stated, wanting to avoid the conflict of explaining
’No. Stay’ she felt Mikasa grab her arm, pulling her back
‘Mikasa come on, we need to get back to our friends, Historia’s gone missing as well, whats up with you guys today?’
Annie almost chuckled at his comment, remembering that Historia begged Ymir to keep their relationship a secret and that even Historia’s closest friends didn’t know about her extracurricular activities
‘Ill be there in a second Eren, ok?’ Mikasa said calmly ‘I just need to sort out a time to complete my project with Annie’
‘Sure i’ll see you in five minutes then’
Annie watched as Eren walked away but Mikasa didn’t seem to pay any attention to him
‘I know a nice café nearby, how about we meet after school and go there? It has some nice cakes, since you mentioned you have a sweet tooth’ Mikasa smiled
‘To study?’ Annie asked
‘Uh yeah sure we can work on our project I guess’ Mikasa looked slightly disappointed ‘I need to go meet my friends now’
‘Yeah, see you around’ Annie turned away deciding to go somewhere else to sit and smoke
‘Annie?’
‘Yeah?’ she turned around and looked back at Mikasa, her face painted with pink
‘Don’t worry it’s nothing’ she frowned turning in the other direction, leaving Annie confused once again, girls were complicated.
Annie leant against Mikasa’s car, waiting for Mikasa to finish with her classes. She harboured the same nervous feeling she had the previous day, a knot formed in her stomach and she had the same ill feeling, Mikasa seemed to have a hold on her emotions ever since she confessed she had a special interest, it made Annie feel different, something she’d never felt before.
She could see Mikasa approach from far away, her face seemed to light up as soon as she saw Annie and her walking pace sped up to greet her.
‘Annie!’ She smiled ‘I was worried you wouldn’t show up, you’re not exactly punctual’
‘You’re offering me free cake, of course I’m going to show up’ Annie half joked
‘Its the next town along, so we’re going to have to drive there, is that okay?’
‘Sure’ Annie got into the shotgun of Mikasa’s car, the car smelt fresh and clean, everything she thought Mikasa’s things to be like, in every way different from how Annie was.
They rode together in silence, Annie watched Mikasa calmly drive the car through the town. Annie rested her head on the window, struggling to comprehend her emotions, she felt drawn to the girl next to her, part of her wanted to get closer to her to get to know her but the other half wanted to run far away and hide, someone as pretty as Mikasa wanting to get close to her scared her, it was easy to let boys down, their feelings never mattered to her but with Mikasa she felt like maybe, just maybe this was something she could be comfortable with.
‘We’re here’ Mikasa quietly chimed as she noticed Annie was deep in thought ‘are you okay?’
‘Yeah yeah I’m okay, now lets get cake’ Annie half smiled
They sat at a secluded table near the window, the light shining perfectly and lighting up the cozy café, Mikasa sat opposite Annie with their cake. Annie had picked out a chocolate one while Mikasa settled for red velvet, they ate together quietly stealing glances when they thought the other wasn’t watching.
‘I like your piercings’ Mikasa complimented gesturing to Annies ear which was littered with different shapes and earrings ‘did they hurt?’
‘I have a high pain tolerance, my tongue one hurt the most, it was a pain to heal’ Annie replied
‘Wow you have a tongue piercing, thats cool, Ive always wanted to pierce my ears but I’ve just never got round to it’
‘I can do it for you if you want, I did most of the ear ones myself’
‘Are you sure thats safe?’
‘Depends really’ Annie said shovelling more cake into her mouth ‘thanks for taking me here, this is really good’
‘Im so glad you like it’
‘Your cake looks nice’
‘Do you want to try some?’ Mikasa blushed as she picked up some on her fork and guided it to Annies mouth, Annie slowly opened her mouth and bit down on the cake, she stared into Mikasa’s grey eyes as she did so, she half smiled as she swallowed
‘Uhh thanks I guess, it was nice’ Annie frowned breaking eye contact, what had she just done, thats the stuff she’d laugh at Ymir for doing, was she going soft?
After small conversations and sips of coffee, Annie and Mikasa walked out of the café, the sky was a red colour, painted by the setting sun, Annie could see Mikasa admire the sun as it lit up her pale skin.
‘I just realised we got no work done today’ Annie chuckled
‘To be honest I didn’t invite you to work on the project, I wanted to be with you’ Mikasa replied blushing
‘The sky is pretty tonight’ Annie stated changing the subject, she felt uncomfortable with Mikasa’s affections
‘I think you’re very pretty Annie’
‘Who me? Ha thats funny’
‘Im not joking’ Mikasa grabbed Annies hand, stopping her before they got to the car ‘I think you’re very pretty’
She pulled Annie closer, gazing into her eyes, her cheeks red and flushed. Annie suddenly felt Mikasa’s lips on hers, she felt shocked and surprised as Mikasa kissed her softly. Mikasa slowly pulled away, Annie still frozen in place
‘Bye Annie, I’ll see you tomorrow’
Mikasa drove away, leaving Annie under the red sky, Annie touched her lips. What had just happened?
The next few days Annie did everything in her power to avoid Mikasa, every time she saw Mikasa go one way, she went the other. Her emotions were all over the place after Mikasa kissed her, did Mikasa want a relationship or was it just in the heat of the moment? Mikasa could never love someone like her, she was terrible, Mikasa deserved better, distance was the only way, Annie was never good with feelings.
That day she lay under the bleachers, her lips entangled in some guy who’d approached her, she never could remember their names. While she kissed him all she could think of was Mikasa, she remembered her soft warm lips against hers, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, the blush that grew on her cheek, it was warm, unlike the guy she was with, he was rough and uncaring, it made her feel sick and headachey.
‘Sorry I can’t do this today’ Annie sighed pulling away
‘Whats got into you lately, you’ve been acting weird’ He replied
‘Piss off, I want to be alone’
‘Whatever, I can get it somewhere else’ he walked away and left her there, she popped a candy in her mouth, to forget the taste of him.
‘Ouch he looks hurt, poor lad’ Ymir laughed sitting down next to Annie stealing a candy from her ‘whats been up, this is the second guy you’ve pushed away this week’
‘Not really in the mood’
‘Hm I get that but you’ve been acting odd recently’
‘How did you know you loved Historia?’ Annie abruptly asked
‘Wow thats a deep question coming from you’ Ymir sighed ‘I guess I just knew really, I couldn’t think about anyone but her, no matter who I was with she was on my mind. She also made me feel special, in a way that I never had before, I guess I felt like she gave me a reason to go on’
‘Hm’
‘Why did you ask?’
‘I guess I was just curious’ Annie shrugged ‘I’m going to go now, see you around’
Annie walked quickly out of underneath the bleachers, she knew what she had to do, her conversation with Ymir had awakened something within her and she could no longer hold back.
She stopped in the school corridor at the end of it she saw Mikasa standing in a group of friends, talking and laughing but her face dropped as soon as she saw Annie.
Annie saw her excuse herself and walk slowly towards her, a sad look in her eyes ,when they stood face to face Annie grabbed her arm and dragged her into the nearby storage cupboard.
‘you’ve been avoiding me’ Mikasa stated as Annie closed the door behind them
‘Yeah yeah I know’ Annie sighed getting closer to Mikasa ‘I’m sorry’
‘I shouldn’t have ki-‘
Annie silenced her by pressing her lips against hers, redoing their first kiss. She finally felt like she had found her place, her body felt like it was made out of warm liquid as she continued to melt into the kiss, Mikasa immediately kissed her back, responding to the kiss. Mikasa didn’t have trouble with love, Mikasa knew her emotions, Annie envied her for that.
The kiss felt like it lasted for year but a second at the same time, Annie pulled away to look into Mikasa’s eyes, to try to figure out her emotions
‘That was unexpected’ Mikasa blushed
‘Uh yeah, I’m sorry for avoiding you, I needed to figure things out, but I’m ready now’ Annie confessed ‘I want to be with you’
‘You taste like blue raspberry jolly ranchers’ Mikasa smiled lightly kissing her again
‘Soo um we still need to finish our project, do you want to come to mine tonight?’ Annie asked as Mikasa looked shocked at her offer ‘oh uh that probably sounded weird, don’t worry its completely innocent’
‘No no its fine’ their faces both turned even more red ‘so do you want me to walk out first to avoid suspicion?’
‘Thats probably a good idea’
‘Ill see you tonight’ Mikasa kissed Annie once more and walked out of the storage room, leaving Annie in a complete haze.
Annie sat there waiting for the perfect time to leave, her head still racing from excitement and happiness, she could still feel the ghost of Mikasa’s lips on hers, this felt right, it didn’t feel like a casual hookup, it felt real and pure something that Annie had never experienced before, maybe love did exist.
She cursed under her breath. She was going soft, but she wasn’t complaining.
That afternoon Annie felt restless, part of her felt like she was floating, she stole glances at Mikasa whenever she could. She was hers but no one knew it, the secrecy added extra excitement but part of her wanted to walk right up to her and kiss her, show everyone who had her heart so no one else could take her but she knew neither of them were ready, they were both still from different worlds.
As the afternoon rolled by the excitement grew, Mikasa was coming to her house tonight, her dad was away on a business trip, she couldnt help but imagine Mikasa there on her bed, helpless and flushed- she shook her head abruptly. She couldn’t think of those things, Mikasa trusted her and she didn’t want to cross the line, from here and now everything would be a hundred percent innocent, she wanted to make it special.
Annie waited anxiously outside of the school as Mikasa approached carrying a bag full of science books.
‘Hey, are you ready?’ Annie asked as Mikasa smiled at her, fighting the urge to hold her hand
‘Yeah, I’m excited’ Mikasa replied as they walked away together
Heart racing Annie lead Mikasa back to her house, this was all uncharted territory, Annie had never had a girlfriend, heck she’d never even had a proper boyfriend, the last thing she wanted to do was mess this up.
Annie fumbled with the keys and let Mikasa into her house, it was messy with takeout boxes strewn everywhere. With her dad away she had let the mess slip a bit but now she felt embarrassed that her new girlfriend had to see her like this
‘Sorry about the mess’ Annie half chuckled out of awkwardness ‘we can work at the table, do you want tea? we have herbal’
‘That would be perfect’ Mikasa replied as she sat down at the table getting books out.
For an hour they sat in silence drinking tea and getting on with their work, Annie found it hard to concentrate but with Mikasa’s small looks of encouragement she felt like she could get through anything.
Their legs fought under the table, the constant swinging distracted them as they battled with a slight laugh, Annie whacked her leg heavily against Mikasas and Mikasa responded back with an even harder hit.
‘Alright, I tried I’m bored now’ Annie stated pushing her work away from her
‘At least you tried’ Mikasa sighed ‘you know how you said you’d pierce my ears?’
Annie nearly choked on her tea
‘I thought that was a joke’
‘I mean we’re here, I might as well bite the bullet and do it’
‘I see my sloppiness is finally rubbing off on you’ Annie joked as she stared at Mikasa lovingly
‘I am no where near as bad as you’
Mikasa sat on the cold floor of Annie’s bathroom as Annie cleaned her ear with an alcohol wipe and cleaned a sharp needle
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ Annie asked, their faces close together, she could feel Mikasa’s hot breath on her skin
‘Yes, I trust you’
‘It might hurt a bit’
‘Oh for fucks sake Annie just do it, I get volleyballs to the face on the daily, this is going to be nothing’
‘If you’re sure’ Annie sighed, terrified she was going to ruin it ’take a deep breath’
Annie stabbed the needle through the marked spot on Mikasa’s ear as Mikasa slightly winced, she then pushed the earring through her lobe, happy that there wasn’t much blood. She then repeated the process with the other ear.
‘Okay I’m done’ Annie stated cleaning off the needle ‘you’ll need to clean it everyday, don’t take it out until at least six weeks but id recommend leaving it for more’
Mikasa stood up looking in the mirror, examining her new piercings
‘Wow’ she whispered as Annie stood up beside her
‘Do you like it?’
‘I wish I did it earlier, I look cool’
‘You were cool already’ Annie chuckled ‘but if you let it get infected I won’t be happy’
‘I won’t, I’m not careless’
‘Soo do you want to watch a movie?’ Annie asked ‘I have a TV in my room’
‘Sure’ Mikasa replied nervously, she hadn’t seen Annies room yet
They walked hand in hand to Annie’s bedroom, it was messy; clothes everywhere and the walls were covered in band posters, magazine cut outs and picture of her and Ymir. Mikasa walked over to the walls and examined the photos, looking at the bright colours as Annie slumped down onto the bed turning on the TV.
’They’re all of you and your friend’ Mikasa stated, still staring at the photos ‘I see that girl with Historia a lot, they think they’re being sneaky but we all know whats going on’
‘Ymirs not good at hiding things, not surprised your whole friend group knows’
‘I wonder if one day I could have a picture with you on your wall’
‘Sure, one day we’ll take lots of photo’s and I can put them all on my wall, to remind me of you, but I don’t need to worry about that now because you’re here with me in the moment’
‘Thats sweet’ Mikasa stated sitting down next to Annie, making sure to keep a good distance, unsure of boundaries
‘What movie do you want to watch’ Annie asked flicking through the film section
‘Im fine with anything, just put on what you want’ Mikasa smiled
Annie just put on a classic romance and watched Mikasa as she watched the film, she seemed tense and too into the movie, it must be scary to be in her girlfriend’s room for the first time and Annie was willing to do anything to relieve the tension.
As the movie played Annie budged ever so slightly closer to Mikasa, not wanting to scare her, it should be fine to initiate some affection, Annie thought, Mikasa was the one to initiate it all the time, so why shouldn’t she?
Annie got close enough to feel Mikasa against her, she snaked her arm around her shoulder allowing Mikasa to rest on her.
‘What are you doing?’ Mikasa whispered
‘I just want to be close to you’ Annie replied
‘You don’t strike me as the physical affection type’
‘Something about makes me want to hold you tight’
The both blushed as they cuddled close together watching the movie.
The movie didn’t particularly catch Annies attention since she had everything she wanted to pay attention to right in front of her. Her eyes kept trailing to Mikasa’s lips, they looked so soft and smooth, she missed the feeling they shared earlier.
‘Can I kiss you?’ Annie thought out loud
‘Sure’ Mikasa blushed as Annie got closer to her lips, softly kissing her allowing short breaks for air.
Annie found it hard to keep control, she just wanted more and more, greedily she got rougher and slipped her tongue into Mikasa’s mouth, exploring the unknown territory, her cold piercing made Mikasa whine with intrusion as they pulled each other closer.
Annie felt them both getting flustered, the movie was being completely ignored as they continued to kiss with vigour and lust.
Slowly she trailed down to Mikasa’s neck, her tongue piercing grazing her pale untouched skin as Annie left soft marks in her trail. Annie fumbled with the buttons of Mikasa’s shirt, eager to feel all of her soft skin as Mikasa let out soft moans.
‘Ah Annie wait-‘ Mikasa breathed slightly pushing Annie off
‘What is it?’ Annie asked her head still clouded with thoughts of her
‘I don’t think I’m ready’ she shyly admitted ‘I’ve never done anything like this before, I don’t want to go this fast’
‘Oh’
‘Please don’t be mad at me, I know you’re used to this kind of thing but I’m not and don’t get me wrong I want to be with you in that way just not yet, I want it to feel right’
Annie softly chuckled pulling Mikasa into a soft hug
‘Im not mad, it was wrong of me to try anything, I’m ready when you’re ready’
‘You’re not disappointed?’
‘No, I’m crazy about you’ Annie whispered as she kissed her head ‘if you want the full hotel and bed of roses, then thats what you’ll get’
‘Thanks for being understanding’ Mikasa smiled shifting closer into Annie’s chest
‘Lets get us some popcorn and drinks, you must be hungry’
Annie made her way into the kitchen and poured herself a cold glass of water to cool herself down, she’d been so dumb, its been less than a day and she’s already been fucking things up, how on earth do relationships work?
She walked back into her room carrying a big bowl of popcorn, Mikasa stood up looking apologetic
‘Eren wants to pick me up now’ She stated ‘its getting late’
‘Oh okay, its sad you can’t stay longer’ Annie replied sadly pulling Mikasa into an embrace
‘Mhm, I’ll miss you’ Mikasa sighed
‘Ill see you tomorrow though’
‘I just wish I could have stayed longer, I enjoyed our time together’
‘If you stayed any longer I don’t think I’d be able to control myself’ Annie laughed patting Mikasa’s head
‘Im sorry about that by the way’
‘You should never be sorry for setting boundaries, I’m glad you trusted me enough to tell me’ Annie smiled ‘and anyway, I’ll just come to your volleyball practice, that uniform makes you look amazing’
‘You’re insatiable’ Mikasa joked as she heard the door bell ring, she pulled Annie into a firm kiss and a hug ‘see you around’
Annie opened the door to see Eren standing there, he looked tired and fed up, his hair messy and unkempt
‘Come on Mikasa lets go I’m tired’ He groaned ignoring Annie ‘oh what happened to your ears’
Mikasa had completely forgot about her piercing, she looked to Annie unsure how to answer
‘O-oh Annie pierced them for me’ Mikasa stuttered ‘do you like them?’
‘Eh they’re okay, I’m worried how they will affect your volleyball’
‘Im sure it will be fine’ Annie said through gritted teeth
‘Get in the car, I just want to talk to Annie’ Eren ordered as Mikasa walked past him, as soon as she was out of earshot Eren began to talk ‘I’m not dumb you know’
‘Really?’ Annie replied sarcastically ‘I would never have guessed’
‘I saw the slight marks on her neck, I know there’s something going on between you two and I’m here to tell you to stop’
‘Or what?’
‘Im not here to threaten you just me and Mikasa have been friends since childhood, ever since she met you she’s changed, heck she’s getting hickeys and piercing her ears it’s not good for her image.’
‘I think you’re worried about your own image more’
‘You’re right I am, Mikasa and I well, its obvious we’re meant for each other, I have our lives planned out, we both have scholarships to the same college, she’s going to be a world renowned volleyball player and me a football player, maybe we’ll have a few kids who knows? But you don’t fit into that equation’
‘I think Mikasa gets to chose her own life’
‘Im fine with her experimenting with girls, in fact I expected it but don’t think this is a long term thing, she will come back to me, she always does’
‘Our relationship is none of your business, your opinion means nothing to me’
‘Im just warning you’ he sighed walking away into the darkness, his threatening words didn’t shake Annie at all, she was stronger than him. She knew Mikasa cared for her, if Mikasa loved Eren she wouldn’t have been here, right? Part of her couldn’t shake off Eren’s words, insecurities started to fester in the cracks of Annie’s mind, plaguing her brain with doubts.
The next week was spent sneaking around and stealing kisses when no one was looking and exchanging words of love on the deserted football field at night when no one was around. This was the happiest Annie has ever been, Mikasa has given her a reason to wake up every morning and a reason to live on, she savoured every late night phone call, every light kiss because she was so worried this happiness would slip through her palms. that worried faded every time Mikasa held her hand, it felt like she was holding her up keeping her afloat, stopping her from drowning in her tumultuous mind.
One night they lay entangled on Annie’s couch, the TV creating background noise as the stared into each others eyes and ran their fingers through their hair
‘Homecoming is coming up’ Mikasa lightly said
‘So?’
‘I’d like you to be my date to the dance’
‘Are you mental?’ Annie laughed ‘you’re funny’
‘Im not joking’
‘Oh’
‘You’re my girlfriend, I want to go with you, I want to show you off and dance with you by my side’
‘Thats not possible, school dances aren’t really my thing, can’t we just stay home that night?’
‘I thought you’d want to go if it was with me’
‘Its clear you don’t know me very well then’ Annie frowned moving away from Mikasa ‘the last thing I want to do is be in a sweaty gym full of people I hate’
‘Those people are my friends’ Mikasa replied quietly, visibly upset
‘I thought you were going with Eren anyway’
‘No, I’ve only ever wanted to go with you, its this fantasy I had- don’t worry about it, since we’re not going’
‘Oh so I’m the bad guy here now, I assumed that you knew I’m not into that kind of stuff’
‘It would be the perfect time to reveal we’re together, I want to hold your hand while walking down the corridor, not just in pitch black storage rooms’
‘You’re delusional if you think thats possible, I think you’re forgetting we’re from completely different worlds, everyone hates me, it would ruin your reputation’
‘I care about you more than my reputation’
‘Don’t. I’m not worth it’
‘Why Annie?’
‘Because you’re not serious about me’ Annie snapped, her insecurities that she had been pushing down coming to life
‘What the fuck is that supposed to mean’
‘Im sick of you acting like this is a serious thing, its always been Eren for you, everyone knows it’
‘I have never thought of him as anything more than a friend, its you I want’
‘Then why is Eren always there? whenever we try to have a moment to ourselves he is always standing there ready to pick you up’
‘I-‘
‘Am I just an experiment to you Mikasa? Am I just this shiny new toy for you to be with until you feel ready to be with Eren?’ Annie started to raise her voice
‘No I L-‘
‘Say it’
‘I-‘
‘Thats what I thought’ Annie felt tears form in her eyes and tears rained Mikasa’s cheeks ‘how long are you going to drag this out’
‘I don’t want to be with Eren’
‘Then why can’t you say it because I can’ Annie shouted ‘I fucking love you Mikasa, you were the one who pursued me remember? What is this to you?’
‘I just wanted to go to a dance with my girlfriend and you have to make it all about your insecurities’ Mikasa cried quietly ‘fuck you Annie’
Annie stood helplessly as Mikasa stormed out of her house, frozen in place unable to go after her
It was just an argument. They’d be better tomorrow.
Her and Ymir fought all the time, after sharing a cigarette they were better again, it would be the same with Mikasa.
The next day Annie walked through the same familiar corridor at break time, looking for Mikasa, she knew a good new place where they could hang out without getting caught, she was dying to apologise for getting too emotional last night and was ready kiss the anger out of both of them.
She saw Mikasa standing at her locker with Eren, Mikasa was facing away for her, she saw Eren’s gaze fix onto her.
Suddenly Eren wrapped his arm around Mikasa and kissed the top of her head, his face flushed pink.
Annie felt broken. All her insecurities had been correct, she was disposable to her.
She was a fool to believe that love existed.
She turned around and ran down the corridor she wanted to get as far away as possible from her, she never wanted to see her again
‘Annie I can explain’ she heard Mikasa shout, Annie froze and turned back to look at Mikasa
‘I don’t want to hear it’
***
Annie lay in her bed, the drinks she had with Ymir slowly leaving her system as she drunk more water, she couldn’t repress these emotions she was feeling forever, but she was going to try. The feeling of regret of ever letting someone into her heart swooped past her as she tried to convince her old self to come back.
Her old self that had never got involved with Mikasa, her old self that didn’t care about anything, her old self who still had that void, the one that kept her safe.
As she tossed in her bed suddenly she heard a loud thud against her window, she ignored it but it just repeated itself until Annie couldn’t take it anymore.
She walked over to the window and peered out into the darkness.
Outside she saw Mikasa. Rocks in her hand and she threw them at Annies window.
Angrily Annie thrust open her window, pissed off that Mikasa had the audacity to show up.
‘You’re going to break my fucking window’ she screamed out at her
‘Then we’ll be even, huh?’ Mikasa shouted back ‘jolly ranchering my fucking car, thats real mature Annie’
‘You have no proof I did that’
‘Well I don’t know any other bitch who hates me and consumes an ungodly amount of jolly ranchers’
Annie frowned as she tried to shut her window again, wanting to ignore Mikasa and go to bed.
‘Let me in and I won’t sue you for the large amounts of damage you did to my car’
Annie groaned and went to the front door, she quickly unlocked it and rushed back to her room, she wasn’t going to greet Mikasa happily, she didn’t want to hear any explanation.
Annie sat on her dresser popping another hard candy into her mouth as Mikasa entered her room
‘Do you know how much this is going to cost me?’ Mikasa yelled
‘Waste of jolly ranchers if you ask me’ Annie stated ignoring Mikasa’s angry tone ‘you have Eren to drive you around anyway don’t you princess?’
‘That was a misunderstanding’
‘Ah so I completely misunderstood the part where you couldn’t tell me you loved me and not even twenty four hours after we got into an argument you’re with the boy who I was worried about’
‘Im not with Eren, if you stopped to listen to me you would have known that’
‘I told you I didn’t want to hear it, I cant believe I was dumb enough to think everything would be fine, I was even considering going with you to the dance’
‘You were?’
‘Yeah but look at how fucking dumb I sound now huh? I really just was an experiment to you’
‘No, you mean a lot to me, I hate how you think of my feelings towards you that way’
Mikasa stood face to face with Annie, Annie avoided eye contact as she swung her legs and moved back on the dresser.
‘I am not dating Eren, in fact that day I told him I was serious about you, our argument made me realise how much you really do mean to me’
‘Yeah then why were you acting all coupley in the hallway’
‘Shush’ Mikasa ordered placing her hand over Annies mouth ‘swallow your pride for one second and let me speak’
Annie nodded in agreement realising she couldn’t do anything, she was trapped, in terms of physical strength Mikasa was much stronger than her.
‘That was Eren’s way of telling me he was proud of me, I didn’t realise he had malicious intent as until I saw you. dating you was always a fantasy for me, everyday I watched you from afar, I watch you smoke, I watched you read, heck I even watched you spike everyones drink at last years dance but we just seemed so different, every time I tried to talk to you, I either didn’t have the courage or you had headphones in. Then as soon as I saw there was a partnered science project coming up I knew this was my chance to get closer to you. You were everything I dreamed of and more, you were so patient and kind, behind your hard exterior you’re really an emotional insecure girl who just wants to be loved, and I love everything about you Annie Leonhart, I love the way you breathe, I love the way you’re constantly eating sweets to overcome your stress, I love the way you avoid eye contact whenever you’re nervous. I love you. I don’t know why I struggled to say it yesterday, I was scared you wouldn’t say it back, I was scared that those words were meaningless to you after all your hookups, I was certain you’ve said it to about fifty other people. But I love you and nothing is going to change that, not even Eren or my friends or the world because I was in love with you before you even knew my name.’
‘You’re lying’
‘Stop letting your insecurities get in the way of me loving you, you don’t have to keep your guard up around me’
‘I don’t understand, you could have anyone you want’
‘But I choose you’
Mikasa didn’t let Annie put in another word, she knew that she would spiral into a pit of self hatred so she grabbed her face and kissed her deeply, leaning into the dresser, Annie felt overwhelmed as Mikasa kissed her harder, the butterflies in her stomach continued to swarm as she reciprocated Mikasa’s kiss, melting into the affection that she didn’t know how to receive.
Annie pulled away looking into Mikasa’s eyes, she never noticed how beautiful Mikasa looked until now, she usually couldn’t look at her face without becoming a blushing mess, today was no different but she was ready to face her emotions.
‘I love you’ Annie whispered placing her head onto Mikasa’s chest as the taller girl look down at her, tears falling out of her eyes making Annie unsure whether she was happy or sad
‘You don’t have to come with me to the homecoming, I’m going with Eren, as friends of course, I recognise how hard this is for you’
‘Thank you’
‘But you’re going to do something for me in return’
Annie looked up at Mikasa in confusion, she noticed the hungry look in Mikasa’s eyes as Mikasa leant in to kiss her again, this time it felt rougher, it felt like the emotions that Mikasa had been bottling up all this time. She felt Mikasa’s tongue slip past her lips, completely dominating their mouths, all Annie could do was sit back and take it. She could see Mikasa discarding her shirt, Annie couldn’t help but glare at the image in front of her with wide eyes as Mikasa made her way down her neck.
‘What are you doing?’ Annie whined as Mikasa hit a sensitive spot on her neck
‘I want you to know how much I want you’ Mikasa whispered as she picked Annie up off the dresser and placed her on the bed ‘its going to be a long night’
That night was a blur, with the alcohol in her system she couldn’t remember much, only the way Mikasa made her feel and the way she kissed every part of her, even the parts that Annie hated the most, it was electric yet loving and tender their souls felt completely intertwined.
They didn’t even know the time but it didn’t matter as all that mattered there was each other, they felt that they could transcend space and time with their love in that moment, the universe seemed to rotate around them because they both burnt so bright.
Mikasa held Annie in her arms, planting kisses on her forehead as Annie played with her fingers
‘What happed to hotel rooms and roses’ Annie said softly
‘I decided that in this moment, you were more important than any of that, it just felt right’ Mikasa replied holding Annie tighter
‘I love you Mikasa’
‘I love you too Annie’
The next evening Annie sat shivering on the cold football field as her and Ymir watched people pile into the gym for the homecoming dance, Annie lit up yet another cigarette to warm herself up
‘You’re not going with Historia?’ Annie asked Ymir who looked rather down
’Nah dances are corny and anyways Historia’s going with some guy, she’s dedicated to the playing straight act’ Ymir stated with venom in her voice
‘Must suck’
‘Yeah, I wish we could be public with our relationship but Historia wants a scholarship and she doesn’t want any rumours of the lesbian head cheerleader floating around’
‘I get that’
‘Have you sorted things out with Ackerman yet?’
‘Who said there was anything to sort out’
‘Oh come on Annie, I’m your best friend, when are you going to stop lying to me? You don’t absolutely fucking damage someones car over a silly grudge and I can tell you had sex last night, you’re like a bitch in heat’
‘You’re not a fucking dog Ymir, how did you find out?’
‘Apparently Mikasa gushed about it to Historia’ Ymir confessed ‘I’m happy for you, I just don’t understand why you’re here with me right now when you can be with her’
‘Dances ain’t my thing, she’s going with Eren Yeager’
‘Speak of the devil’
Annie looked up and saw Eren standing in front of her and Ymir, he had an apologetic look on his face, his suit disheveled and untidy.
‘Im sorry okay’ he groaned ‘I was out of line when it came to your relationship with Mikasa, I’m happy for her I truly am’
‘Thanks I guess’ Annie mumbled taking another puff of her cigarette
‘It should be you in there with her, not me, I told her I’ve gone to the bathroom, she’s waiting by the big oak tree’
‘And what’s that got to do with me?’
‘For fucks sake Annie’ Ymir yelled ‘you’re truly oblivious you know that right, go get her’
‘What about you?’
‘Ill be fine, I was going to go home anyway, id rather not watch Historia dance with someone else, see you around Annie’ she watched as Ymir faded into the darkness, she was left on the field with Eren
‘I don’t want to ruin your night’ Annie sighed ‘I want you and Mikasa to have fun’
‘She won’t have fun if you’re not there and there’s another girl I want to dance with tonight’ Eren blushed ‘if I leave Mikasa with you then we can both have fun’
‘Ah so your motivations are completely selfish’
‘Completely. I’ll guess I’ll see you in there then Annie’ Eren walked off leaving Annie alone, would Mikasa want her there? Would she be able to enjoy herself despite the stares?
Annie made her way over to the big oak the tree, it was strewn with fairy lights and streamers, Mikasa stood underneath it the light illuminating her best features and her deep red dress matched her complexion perfectly.
‘You look so beautiful tonight’ Annie stated as she stood behind Mikasa, Mikasa not even noticing she had approached
‘Annie’ she gasped ‘you’re here’
‘I couldn’t stay away, and I’m glad I didn’t’ Annie gave Mikasa a kiss on her cheek as she swooned
‘Why are you here, I mean I’m glad but, you know I’m here with Eren, we can hang out another day’
‘Eren sent me to tell you that he’s basically going with someone else, he sent me to lighten the load and accompany you, and I know i’m not dressed for a dance’ she peered down at her slouchy jeans and t-shirt ‘but just for one night I will step in as the role of Prince Charming since your previous one is flaky’
‘Ah but id chose you any day’ Mikasa flung her arms around Annie ‘you realise there’s going to be stares and talks’
‘I know, but I feel like I can block them out as long as you’re there next to me, whispering your sweet words’
Annie linked arms with Mikasa and lead her into the decorated gym, the lights were overwhelming and the music was loud but Annie didn’t care, all she cared about was the girl on her arm, the girl who had made her soft.
Annie could hear the whispers poking her ears, all her insecurities came rushing back, but they all seemed to brush away as Mikasa gave her looks of encouragement.
‘Do you want me to get us some drinks?’ Annie asked not letting go of Mikasa
‘No I want to dance first’
Mikasa took Annie to the dance floor and held her close, they swayed to the slow song that played through the speakers embracing each others warmth as the people around them seemed to fade away.
‘I love you a lot Annie’ Mikasa whispered so only they could hear
‘I love you too, I love you more than anything’ Annie whispered back, these words of affirmation kept them afloat as they continued to follow the beat, clinging to each other like it was their life source.
Instantly Annie was pulled into a sweet kiss, Mikasa’s rough hand cupping her face as she loved her gently.
Annies face was bright red as she buried it back into Mikasa’s chest, no matter how strong she appeared on the outside, on the inside Mikasa would always be able to melt the ice barrier.
They were broken, there were still many things that they needed to fix but they were going to learn and grow together, they were going to fight, breakup, get back together and struggle but they were also going to love and give unconditionally, try their hardest for their happy ending no matter the feats.
But in this moment the future didn’t matter, here in the present they were in love, the outside world was blacked out as they gave themselves completely to each other, letting them feel their rawest selves, emotionally exposed.
But you cant stop time.
Life had a way of adding day to day.