Work Text:
Armin Arlert always seemed to have quite a horrible habit of overworking himself. Sometimes it was very subtle - he'd stay up only a few hours later than he normally would, he'd work a little harder during training and speak up just a little more during meetings. Other times, however, it was extremely obvious - pulling all-nighters nearly every day and staying up until the ungodly hours of the morning when he didn't, overexerting himself during training and experiments, as well as absorbing himself in his work for so long he was somehow getting even less rest than the Captain.
He didn't really know what started his horrible cycle this time - was it the constant feeling of inferiority? The fear of failure? Maybe he just wanted to prove himself, to prove he was worthy of all the sacrifices that had been made for him? Or maybe he just needed something to do and ended up overdoing it without noticing, not even realizing he was spiraling until it was too late to stop it. Maybe it was a combination of all those things. He wasn't sure. What Armin did know, however, was that he had no intention of stopping anytime soon. What harm did it do anyway? He was making himself useful, and it wasn't like he was hurting anyone, right? The only person he could hurt by doing this was himself, although he doubted it. He could definitely handle a little extra work, a little extra effort. Even if he did hurt himself in the end, why would it matter? He deserved it anyway, deserved to work himself to exhaustion. It was practically all he was good for.
And so Armin continued to deprive himself of any sort of rest whatsoever, staying up all night and training until his muscles ached or until Hanji pleaded with him to stop, insisting he was going to get sick again. He was so incredibly determined he didn't even consider the possibility of getting "titan sick" again. He was absolutely sure he wouldn't. He was much more experienced now, and had so many more skills under his sleeve. These weren't his first few transformations, and he wasn't exactly working on any new skills, so he should be completely fine. Eren trained a lot as well, and he almost never got sick because of it, so why would it happen to him? If anything, he should be motivated by Hanji's words. He wanted to prove her wrong, to prove them all wrong, to prove that he wasn't weak or fragile and that he most certainly did not need to be coddled like a child.
What Armin failed to learn each and every time, however, was that he was only human (despite the fact that his titan powers may make you think otherwise), and humans cannot function without rest, much to his dismay. At first the symptoms of his exhaustion were hardly noticeable - his eyes seemed to fall just a little heavier than normal, his words slightly slurred, his movements just a little bit slower than they'd usually be - but as the days passed by and he insisted on continuing to follow his terrible plan of action, they seemed to only get worse and worse.
At some point, it was so incredibly obvious that even people who weren't all that close to Armin seemed to notice his horrible state, shooting him worried glances whenever he'd trip over his own feet, shaking his shoulder slightly as he fell into a daze during meetings, and asking him if he was okay when the dark circles under his eyes turned the color of a really bad bruise. Armin played it all off though, sending them small smiles of encouragement and assuring them that he was completely fine.
He was honestly quite thankful that he hardly saw Eren nowadays, the Captain prioritizing his titan training over anything else and taking him aside in order to enhance his abilities. He knew Eren would notice what he was doing right away and attempt to out a stop to it, no matter how much he protested. Armin almost found it funny how similar this situation was to the one he had been in not two months ago - Eren in training with Levi as Armin vowed to work until he dropped. This time, however, he refused to show any signs of weakness, no matter how hard he pushed himself. He most certainly will not have Eren baby him once again, and he'd suck it up, no matter how hard it got.
And get hard it did. As the days and nights blurred into one and he was on his third all-nighter of the week (third? Maybe fourth?), he found that sleep-deprivation was not a very easy thing to deal with. His eyes closed on their own, his vision blurred, and his hands shook as though it was incredibly cold outside. Was it from the exhaustion? Was it from the unnecessarily high consumption of caffeine? Was it from the constant overthinking and anxiety? Only god knows. Armin was determined to push through it, however, no matter how hard it got. He'd made a promise to himself, hadn't he? And he was very strict about breaking promises.
Soon enough the hardest part of his day became ODM gear training, something he usually enjoyed. The constant jostling caused his head to pound and the harness caused bruises to form on his hipbones, seeing as how he was not only incredibly sleep-deprived, but also somehow malnourished at the same time. He had slowly come to hate the way the blades felt heavy in his arms, how sweat dripped from him at an incredulous pace, how the gas canisters seemed to only drag him down. He no longer enjoyed the feeling of floating, no longer enjoyed the freeing sensation that came along with it, no longer reveled in the way the wind made his hair fly as he zoomed past.
This was quite unfortunate, seeing as how he was currently in the middle of training, falling behind despite his various efforts not to do so. He stopped on a tree branch for just a moment, leaning over with his hands on his knees in order to catch his breath. He was falling behind. Again. He had to work harder. What was he even doing? Why did he allow himself to rest? God, he was weak. He had to change that, had to stop allowing himself to slack off. Taking one last deep breath, Armin stood up straight again before hurrying to catch up with the rest of his team, going as fast as his gear would allow him.
He nearly felt his heart drop at the comment Jean made as he joined the group once again, disappointment and embarrassment flaring up in his chest. "Oi, Armin, stop falling behind. You'll become titan food at this rate"
Armin assumed his words hurt him so much because Jean was right. He was incompetent, a failure, he was holding everyone back and at this rate he might get someone killed while they tried to save him. Armin nodded, steeling his eyes as they neared the training site. It was very similar to the one they'd used as cadets, titan-like props stood scattered throughout the forest, their napes made of titan skin Hanji had taken from Eren during one of her experiments. This was incredibly useful, seeing as how the skin healed itself right after they'd slice through it, making restoring the figures something long forgotten, allowing training hours to stretch out for longer than they'd ever had before.
They finally reached the training grounds, Armin still determined to redeem himself. He worked hard, forced his arms to move at a speed and strength they most certainly couldn't handle, ignoring his pounding head and the ache deep in his bones. He sliced through nape after nape after nape, the only sounds registering in his mind the whoosh of his gear and the swishing sounds his blades made as they swiftly cut through the air.
He neared yet another figure, the one hidden in the trees that no one ever seemed to notice. He raised his blades, and cleared his head, letting himself concentrate fully on what was in front of him as he brought them down with precision.
Or so he thought.
"Ow! Fuck!" he yelled, tears welling in his eyes as he tried his best to get his gear to latch onto the nearest tree. The last thing he needed right now was to crash into one face-first.
"Armin? You oka- Oh fuck" he heard Sasha say from behind him. "Jean!" she called out frantically as she ripped off a piece of her shirt and pressed it to his cut, "we need some help over here!".
"No, no, it's fine Sasha, I'm fine, please don't call anyone" he pleaded with her, hissing as the pressure she put on his leg only made the pain become almost unbearable.
"Armin you are not fine. That cut looked deep as fuck and you obviously need medical attention" she said, her eyes still scanning over the trees rapidly, trying to catch a glimpse of Jean. She found him soon enough, the boy rushing toward them, eyes widening a little as he saw Sasha's blood-stained shirt.
"What happened?" he asked breathlessly as he landed on the tree branch right next to them.
"Missed the nape. Cut myself" Armin mumbled, suddenly feeling a little light-headed.
"Shit, that's a deep cut. Eren said that with a cut this deep the titan healing powers can't keep up with the pace of the bleeding" Jean whispered as Sasha removed her shirt to show him. "We can't just bandage him up and wait for him to heal".
"What do we do then?" Sasha asked, her eyes flashing with panic at Jean's words.
"We get him to Eren. He's the only one that knows how to use all that high-tech stuff his dad came up with and I think that's our best bet with an injury like this"
"No! Wait!" Armin cried out, making the other two look up at him in concern. "Please don't take me to Eren. Take me to anyone else, I don't even care who, I'll even bandage myself up if I have to, just please don't-"
"Armin do you want to lose the ability to ever walk again?" Jean asked him sternly, cutting him off. Armin didn't answer, knowing that it was obviously a rhetorical question and there was absolutely no way he was getting out of this. He really didn't want to go to Eren though, he'd surely get yelled at, and then Eren would probably insist to stay next to him for the rest of his life to make sure he didn't fall into his habit ever again. He'd probably tie him to his bed and force him to sleep as well, though Armin assumed rest was inevitable at this point, he probably won't be able to train for at least a few days after an injury like this.
Armin yelped as he was scooped up by Jean, his face flushing in embarrassment at the way he was being held, before it contorted to anger. "No! Jean! Let me down! I can get there myself!". Jean appeared to have suddenly gone deaf, seeing as how he shoved Sasha's bloody shirt into his hands and ordered him to apply pressure to his leg before setting off toward the place where he knew Eren was training, calling out to the rest of their team and telling them that training was over for today.
"Did you and your boyfriend have a fight or something?" he asked with a smirk "because you seem awfully hesitant to see him. Or is it because you haven't slept in like, four days"
Armin's eyes widened a bit at that. Damn it. So it was noticeable. Eren would be onto him in seconds.
"Oh? I'm right aren't I?" he continued, noticing Armin's panicked look. "You look horrible by the way, so it's awfully hard to miss".
Armin only sent him a glare in response, wincing as every jolt as they flew from tree to tree caused his leg to throb. It only took them a few minutes to reach the clearing, Eren's decaying titan form lying on the ground right in front of them. "Captain!" Jean yelled, "we need Eren for a moment!".
Armin could now clearly see the Captain's frown as he took in the two. "What happened?" he asked when Jean landed right next to him, the hooks of his gear hissing as they slithered back into place.
"Armin messed up during training, cut his leg real deep, and we don't think his healing abilities are fast enough to heal him before it causes him any serious damage" Jean explained as the Captain grabbed Armin's wrist and moved the piece of cloth away from the cut, wincing as he scanned over the deep gash.
"Jesus Christ Arlert, how did you mess up this bad?" he said, looking up at him and frowning as he noticed the dark circles underneath his eyes and his pale complexion. "I told you to lay off the work didn't I? For god's sake Armin do you ever listen to anything I have to say?" he continued, sending him one last glare before frantically calling out for Eren.
"Armin? What's wrong? Oh my go-" he trailed off as his eyes widened in horror at the sight in front of him. "Shit, what did you do?" he asked frantically as he kneeled to examine the wound closer. "Thanks for bringing him here Jean" he said as he finished staring at his leg and practically grabbed Armin from his arms. Turning to the Captain, Eren sent a questioning look his way, earning a nod in response before the two set off toward HQ, the Captain's words of "let me speak to him after you're done" barely registering in their ears before they were out of hearing range.
"What the fuck Armin?" Eren started the second they were out of the Captain's sight. "I know you aren't sleeping because you look like you've been punched in the face, what did I tell you about that? What did Levi tell you about that? Do you really not listen Armin?" he asked, his tone of voice stern and his eyes angry and disappointed.
"I'm just making myself useful, what's the problem with working hard?"
"Working hard?! Working hard?! That is not "working hard", Armin, that is working yourself to exhaustion, and fucking killing yourself in the process"
It was only then that Armin noticed the fear in Eren's words. Eren was worried about him. He'd made him worry yet again, and he couldn't help but feel overwhelming guilt at his words, all the fight in him suddenly leeching away. " 'M sorry" Armin said, looking away so Eren wouldn't see the tears welling up in his eyes. He hated when Eren scolded him like this, especially when he sounded so disappointed. It made him feel like a child, a very unwelcome feeling if he was being honest.
Eren's eyes softened a little bit, his lips pulling into a frown as they finally reached headquarters. He ran through the halls, Armin jumping in his arms with every step, throwing open the storage door and setting him down on one of the boxes. He looked through the medical supplies, his frown deepening as he found what he was looking for. "I'm sorry Armin, you're gonna need stitches" he said hesitantly, watching as Armin's eyes widened in fear. He really hated needles. He'd seen the procedure preformed on various people during their latest missions and he most certainly wasn't keen to experience it himself. He shook his head, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill over as Eren came closer.
"No, Eren please" he pleaded.
"You brought this on yourself. I'm really sorry" Eren said, his tone softening as he realized that now wasn't really the time to be overly stern. "Armin you're going to get an infection, please just let me do this".
Armin sniffled a little before letting Eren come closer deciding he'd already disappointed him enough for today. Eren's eyes scanned over the wound before he started the procedure, tears making their way down Armin's face as the needle breached his skin over and over. It didn't take long - Eren was quite skilled at these sorts of things at this point - and before he knew it Eren was looking over his work, checking that he hadn't done anything wrong. Once he was sure he hadn't messed up in any way he quickly stood up and took Armin in his arms.
Armin didn't hesitate to bury his face in Eren's shoulder, his tears staining his shirt. It was warm in Eren's arms, and Armin came to the conclusion that it was probably his favorite way to be hugged, with his face in Eren's shoulder and his arms wrapped around him tightly. What helped his tears stop even more were Eren's fingers stroking through his hair, and his soothing words, his voice dropping to a low hum that always seemed to make Armin feel better instantly. "Shh Armin. You're okay. Try and calm down for me angel. I know it hurt, but it's nothing that you can't handle, right? You were so good, stayed so still and let me finish without any problems. Now let's stop crying so we can go see Levi okay baby?"
Armin sniffled a little bit before raising his head and nodding, letting Eren help him hop off the box before they slowly made their way toward Levi's office, Armin limping the entire time. "Good luck" Eren snickered as they finally reached the dark wooden door, Armin raising his fist to knock.
"Oh, shut up Eren" he whispered back, letting his hand fall onto the wood.
"Come in" he heard a voice from inside, and he slowly opened the door, revealing the Captain seated at the desk, his hands folded over it, and a very old-looking white teacup laid before him. Armin crept inside and closed the door gently before turning back to Levi, sitting in the chair before him after a beckoning gaze from his Captain. They sat in silence, the boy watching as Levi poured another cup of tea, pushing it toward him before sighing and looking Armin straight in the eyes before speaking.
"Armin" he started, and Armin swore his eyes were staring straight into his soul, "this isn't the first time we've had to talk about this, but I really hope it will be the last. You absolutely cannot keep overworking yourself like this do you hear me? You're stressing yourself out, and believe me it does no one any good. You're going to get yourself sick in the end, or hurt like you did today. It's really worrying to see you do this to yourself, for me as well as for the rest of the Scouts. Not to mention Eren. You should see how his face falls every time he thinks something has happened to you. Now, I know you think that you have to prove something, that you have to work day and night just to improve, but I promise you that is not the case. You are incredibly intelligent and one of my most valued squad members, and putting yourself in a position where you're too exhausted to function doesn't help anyone. Now when you finish drinking you're going to rest. I mean it. This is an order and most certainly not negotiable. And I swear to god, Armin, if I find out you're pulling this bullshit again I will not hesitate to beat your ass like I did to Eren back in the court room. Do you understand?" he asked, his tone growing from sympathetic to stern at those last few sentences.
Armin nodded, slowly sipping his drink as Levi watched him.
"Good" he said, continuing to watch the blond-haired boy intently. "How's your leg?" he asked.
"Had to get stitches" Armin answered, finishing his drink.
Levi frowned a little at that, taking in a sharp breath through his teeth. "Must've been painful. I've seen those things, they look nasty".
Armin nodded again, and the Captain took his exhausted look as a cue to let him go. "Alright. Go rest now. If Eren tells me you've been any trouble..." he trailed off, his threat hanging in the air, unsaid. Armin knew exactly what he was implying, though, so he nodded and handed his cup back to the Captain before limping out the door.
Eren was on him the very second he exited the room, putting his arm around his shoulders for support and leading him to the dorm rooms. "You wanna go to my room?" he asked once they answered Jean's questions of "is he okay?" and "you're sure everything's alright?".
"Mhmm" Armin said, letting Eren lead him over to his room, practically forcing him onto the bed.
"You want me to lay with you?" Eren asked, though he already knew the answer.
"Yeah. Careful with the leg though, it still hurts"
"I'm sorry sweetheart. It'll get better soon I promise" he said as he climbed into the bed, laying right next to Armin. "Now sleep" he said, letting Armin find a comfortable position before they both settled down.
Eren appeared to have broken his promise, the one he'd made when Armin had gotten sick, the one where he vowed to himself he'd never let Armin overwork himself like this ever again. It was fine though, because Levi had made a promise, and that one would for sure keep Armin from doing idiotic things like this for quite a while.
At least he hoped so.