Archive of Our Own

They haven't touched since that stolen moment, where he'd needed Klaus more than he could breathe, to know he's here, and alive, and still his.

Maybe that's where it starts.

Taki rarely dreams anymore, but when he does, it's filled with the familiar explosions of battle. They're winning, he thinks, the cheers of his soldiers a faint backdrop, but there's no optimism in him, his own stomach queasy and faint. His heart beats no, no, no.

His hands are painted in blood, Klaus's blood, and Taki watches him die again.

Taki wakes up, hands grasping for the other side of the mattress before he can stop himself because there's nothing there (of course there isn't). Fear constricts his chest.

His bed's stopped smelling like Klaus.

Later that day, Klaus steps into place by his side as they make rounds of the estate, and Taki finds himself trying to lean closer than he should, closer than would be appropriate. Their arms knock together. His tongue ties when Klaus notices, and he sees the flare of hunger before it's clamped down. Klaus falls back and the distance between them increases.

Shame twists in his stomach, but his chest feels lighter than before.

Klaus dies by the blade that Taki couldn't save him from, and the pain his body still remembers is vivid, but it's nothing compared to the crushing breathlessness in his chest.

Klaus is a silent presence in the room as he strategizes with Major Uemura and the others, and Taki feels the flicker of resentment he'd never really been able to reason away. Klaus is his, his former friend and loyal knight, and there's always danger on the battlefield, but for someone to hurt Klaus so badly when he was already hurt, for someone to act as if his death would mean nothing - it wasn't right, especially when it's one of his own men.

Klaus shifts against the wall, clearly bored but still here, and Taki bites his tongue, resisting the urge to ignore anything the man says. Major Uemura is a fine commander, a fine intelligence officer, and it won't do to still hold it against him. He needs him.

(He needs Klaus more.)

Taki can see Klaus's bike in the dust, more graceful in life than he can ever imagine, and for once, since there's no enemy fire on the field - not with the Duchess still granted asylum - he lets himself watch. Klaus's drawl is audible through the earpiece, mission successful as always, and he lets the constant uneasiness in his stomach settle. He shouldn't do this, he knows - Klaus is not more important than any of his troops who have sacrificed so much to follow him into this war, and it's unfair if he's not as invested in them.

Klaus's bike disappears in a burst of fire and his voice cuts off in an explosion of static.

"Hey, it was just a stray mine," Klaus interjects, not even wincing as the needle pushes in, catching the worry on Taki's face. "Guess we missed it in the sweep." Only Dr. Suguri is here, thankfully, because Taki knows he doesn't look as impassive as he should. So many needle marks, he sees, and can't stop the tremor down his tense back. Even now, on a mission that wasn't supposed to be dangerous, and Klaus was still in danger.

Suguri reluctantly leaves them alone when Taki shows no sign of leaving after Klaus's wounds are bandaged. Klaus's mouth quirks when he looks at Taki, and Taki steps toward him, feeling drawn by the need shivering under his skin, some part of him still not believing that Klaus is here. Klaus smells dusty under the acrid odor of explosives, but he's radiating heat like he always has, and Taki shakily inhales, unable to stop himself, his mind fogging.

Klaus's hand is hot on his face, curling around his cheek and cupping his jaw. A broad thumb brushes his lips and Taki presses in, feeling the roughness of the skin when it stills. The air grows heavy between them. Taki looks up into Klaus's face, sees the sharp lust in his golden eyes, and awaits the kiss that follows whenever Klaus touches him like this.

It doesn't come, but Klaus presses their foreheads together and Taki breathes, trying to make it enough.

Katsuragi's presence here is worrisome. He is an impressive man, a powerful one, but he takes too much interest in Klaus, and Taki can't help but feel uneasy. Does he know? Does he suspect? Would he be here if there wasn't someone he was investigating? Katsuragi had a knight once, he's heard, and he and Klaus have never had a properly respectful relationship.

If they find something wrong, they could take Klaus away from him, and the thought worms under Taki's skin, tightly constricting his chest.

It's four in the morning and Taki can't sleep. The anxiety is distracting, preventing him from doing his duty, but the possibility that one time, he will wake up and Klaus will be gone seems even worse right now. He shouldn't feel this way, he knows how unfair it is to his people, but perhaps he is too tired now and it seems to matter less than it should.

He slips into Klaus's new quarters before he can help himself.

The new rooms are small, and Taki hadn't seen the inside of them since Klaus's cottage had been ripped apart. It was the last time Klaus had touched him, and he flushes at the memory.

For once, Klaus is sleeping. It had been three nights since they last slept, and he'd been having Klaus accompany him all that time, the thought of not having him in his sight too much to bear, but he had to give in that night: exhaustion had been making even Klaus slur more than usual.

It's easier to breathe like this, in Klaus's tiny chambers, perched on the uncomfortable chair beside his narrow bed. Klaus looks less than he should, always seeming larger than life when Taki thinks of him, but the days have been taking their toll, and Klaus is here, in front of him. His knight, and Katsuragi will have to get through him to reach him, to take him away. If anything happens, it will happen to them both - the thought is strangely comforting.

Taki sleeps.

--

In his dreams, there is only heat and Klaus's voice, a low, sweet rasp in his ear. "Taki," Klaus says, and it sounds relieved, understanding, like his own fears were shared and together, they find comfort too. If it were anyone else, he would wake, but he knows this voice, this heartbeat, those hands on his face and that kiss on his brow.

Taki wakes up in his own bed, breathes in the promise of later he still remembers from his dream, and goes to find Klaus.