Work Text:
1.
No work tonight, and no ‘S’ either. For a while, Reki had considered just staying home after school today, but eventually he had gotten over himself and decided to finally do something he had been wanting to do for weeks. He was going to ask Langa out.
Quite honestly, he hadn’t been sure how well it would go. Langa was a little dense sometimes when it came to… feelings, or whatever this was. Not that Reki minded, or blamed him. Feelings were hard to figure out, and occasionally he himself got confused as well. Besides, there were certain things that Langa understood way better than him every now and then (one example for that was English). They complemented each other.
That was one of the reasons why he was fairly certain, that Langa liked him back. Maybe he didn’t even realize it, but he would, once Reki asked him out. (Right?)
He felt like he needed to be as direct as possible to ensure that Langa clearly understood what he was trying to say. While being friends with Langa was pretty cool, Reki wanted something different. Something intimidate and horribly romantic. A romantic relationship. Oh god.
All of that thinking for nothing. It had gone about as well as one might have imagined.
Class had passed quickly after he had made this choice, which was good, but also really, really bad. Very bad actually, because by the time lunch had arrived, he still had no idea what he was going to say.
And, well, that was basically how he had ended up barely getting the words out – even less getting the implications and meaning across.
“Do you wanna… go see a movie later tonight? After school? Just the two of us?” His nervousness had gotten the better of him, and it was seriously the only thing he could manage without swallowing his tongue accidentally.
Langa had looked at him like he was confused for a moment, and Reki had figured he would get it wrong, then he would have to repeat himself, and actually ask if Langa wanted to go on a date with him, which would have been super embarrassing.
But no, nothing like that had happened.
Langa’s eyes had actually widened comically. He had blushed, and smiled, like he couldn't stop himself from doing so. “You mean the new movie about those skaters? I haven’t seen the other parts, if I’m honest, but sure.” And then he had looked away, smiled even bigger, and Reki had felt butterflies in his stomach. That was the reaction of someone who knew they were being asked on w date, right? Holy fucking shit.
Maybe all of this this wasn't so bad. He had pretty much gotten exactly what he wanted, and apparently, he even had the power to make someone as cool as Langa flustered.
Later that day, when they were on their way to the theater – walking instead of skating, for once – Reki was so excited he could barely hold it together. Not only was he finally going to see this movie he had been waiting for (for months now), but he was also on a date. A date with his crush. A date with Langa. His best friend.
“So, you really don’t mind not having seen the other parts? You know, we could have just gone to my place today, binge-watched all the other parts and then gone to see this one tomorrow or something…”
“We’re working tomorrow, Reki,” Langa replied, smile and voice so calm and collected, Reki had to wonder if the guy ever felt nervous at all. Maybe he didn’t have as much of an effect on Langa as he had previously thought. Was that a bad sign? He honestly didn’t know.
“Yeah, okay, but some other day then?”
“I don’t really need to watch them. It’s fine. I don’t want to be the reason you have to wait any longer.”
And when Langa said that, Reki had to think about two things.
First, did Langa actually want to see this movie, too, or did he really just come along because of him?
Second, was this seriously real? Langa would watch a movie he knew nothing about, just so he could hear Reki geek out about it? This had to be some kind of dream.
“Alright. I can still tell you about the basics. The first movie is about this Alien kid, who ends up on earth by accident. And then he’s brainwashed into thinking he has to kill all humans, but soon enough he meets someone who can skate, and he’s just super entranced, so instead of starting a war with the whole planet, he tries skating too, and man, he sucks! It’s-“
Reki’s explanation, or rather his rambling, only ended when they arrived and waited in line to get tickets. Maybe, just maybe, Reki had gone a little overboard with the details, but there were six movies before this one, so he did have a lot to talk about if he wanted to catch Langa up on the plot.
Langa had mostly nodded along. He hadn’t really seemed like he understood what was going on, or what exactly half of the things he was hearing about meant, but he still looked happy. It wasn't unusual for Langa to pretend to be happier than he actually was just to avoid further discussions, though, so at some point, Reki had to speak up.
“We really don’t have to watch this, you know? We can always see something else.”
“Reki, you wanted to see the movie. It’s the whole reason why I’m here with you, so let’s do this. I didn’t mind what you told me about so far anyway.” And like that wasn’t already enough to make him blush, Langa interrupted Reki before he could tell him that if he wasn’t interested, they really could just spend their day skating together, like they usually did.
“Besides, I love skating, so why not watch a movie about it? And I love being around you.”
Yeah. Maybe Reki had a little heart attack, and maybe his cheeks felt like they were overheating, and when his eyes locked on Langa’s face, it seemed like he wasn’t alone with his blush. This was definitely too much, but, like, in the best way.
Scanning his face for a while longer, he saw Langa look around, trying to avoid his gaze until Reki finally got confident enough to playfully punch him in the arm. Their eyes locked, and before he could think about it twice, he was saying something again.
“I feel the same way… so, uh, does that mean we’re officially going out then?”
Subconsciously, his arm came up and he rubbed the back of his neck. Langa looked – no, stared – at him for at least five seconds. His brows furrowed and he finally replied, “Well, obviously?”
If Reki’s heart skipped about a million beats, he definitely wasn’t going to admit it.
So, Langa had really realized what today was about. And not only was he cool with it, he thought it was obvious. They were really going out now. Dating. Holy shit.
2.
Okay. So, Langa was definitely a bit shyer than Reki expected, but that was cool. They didn’t immediately get touchy-feely and all that, and they really didn’t have to. Moving slow was totally fine, especially at their age. He was fine with it.
But well, maybe he did wish for a bit more of a reaction when they locked eyes, or when their hands brushed occasionally, or… anything, really.
Either Langa was incredibly good at hiding what he was feeling – which wouldn't come as a surprise, to be honest – or maybe Langa thought Reki wasn’t really into this type of stuff, because he hadn’t made a move yet.
That way of thinking wasn’t exactly unfounded. Reki was usually the one initiating contact between them, so maybe Langa expected the same thing from him now. Honestly, the situation was kind of hard to figure out. After all, he didn’t have much experience when it came to dating either, and he wasn’t sure he was reading all the signs correctly.
He should probably just ask about it. Yeah. Communication was key, and that way he’d definitely not do anything that made either of them uncomfortable. That would totally work out.
Luckily, he’d get his chance soon enough, as they were hanging out that same day.
No, that wasn’t quite right. They hung out every day. Today was different, because it was a date. He had specifically asked Langa to go skating later, but also to bring stuff for a picnic. He had even used the words ‘spending quality time together’, and Langa had smiled so adorably, Reki had really wanted to kiss him then and there.
Oh no. He wanted to kiss him. Yeah, he absolutely needed to talk to Langa about this.
Turns out talking about it was a little harder than expected. Again.
They were just sitting down, and Reki was still out of breath. Skating was fun as always, but he had been stuck in his head almost the whole time, worrying about how he should bring up the topic of kissing.
Langa didn’t seem to notice, which he was kind of grateful for, but also a little upset about.
So, once they got comfortable, and he still hadn’t figured out what to say, Reki just kept his mouth busy by eating whatever Langa’s mother had made for them.
“Tell your mom the food is great,” he said eventually.
Langa glanced over at him and smiled. “I actually made these myself,” he said, pointing at the pancakes Reki was munching on.
“Really? I didn’t know you could cook. Or… bake, or whatever…” Reki found himself saying, somewhat impressed.
Langa nodded. “You should try them with maple syrup next time. It’d be a mess out here, but when you come over or something it should be fine.”
“Sure,” Reki said easily, until he realized that this meant he’d be meeting Langa’s mother sooner or later. As his boyfriend. Wait, were they boyfriends? Probably, right? God, why was all of this so complicated?
He decided to give himself a couple minutes to get over the anxious feeling in his gut. He didn’t want to screw this up. He needed to find the right words, not sound too excited, and still show he wanted all of it.
By the time he was slowly putting the words together, Langa was lying down next to him, looking up at the sky. The sun made his pale skin look even brighter, and Reki was lost again. Holy hell, how could anyone be so damn beautiful?
Langa caught his eyes then, and Reki looked away, worrying his lip between his teeth. Was being caught staring weird when you were dating? God, he could feel himself blushing.
“Are you hot?” Langa asked. “Your face is all red.”
Reki laughed, looked back at him for a moment, and shook his head
“I’m pretty sure you know why my cheeks are red. It’s got nothing to do with the weather,” he laughed, and it only got louder when he saw Langa’s face change. Confusion, deep thinking, and finally realization. He went red himself, and looked away.
Reki couldn’t help himself after that. He reached out to brush the hair that was now covering Langa’s eyes out of the way, and gave him a bright smile. And well, he considered it a success, because even when he let his hand linger, Langa just smiled back, so soft and pretty.
He was about to open his mouth. Really, he was. But then Miya suddenly showed up.
Well, Reki figured it wasn’t very sudden, and shouldn’t have been surprising. They were still in a very public spot, at an actual skatepark. Obviously other skaters would be there. He should have thought about this sooner.
It was too late now.
“Hey.”
Reki was frozen. For some reason he felt like he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have been doing, with him and Langa in a position like this. He considered pulling away quickly, but that would probably be even more suspicious. How was he supposed to react right now?
Langa shifted just a little, so he could look at Miya, then gave a quick wave back. “What are you doing here?” he asked.
“Shadow asked me to look for you if I passed the skatepark. You guys spend, like, all your time here, so he figured you'd be here today too. He wants to know if you can put in a word with your boss, or something. Honestly, I don't know. I'm kind of busy, so just ask him yourself. Today preferably.”
Both of them nodded, and Reki finally managed to move a little. Miya’s eyes narrowed on him, though. He looked between them for a second, then grinned.
“What, are you two officially together now?”
Reki immediately went even more red, but Langa just stared back at the boy, “Uh….”
He glanced over at Reki, who basically squeaked, “Are we….”
Finally, Langa shrugged. “I… guess? I mean, it’s pretty obvious, right?”
That got a laugh out of Miya. “Yeah. It is. I was worried that guy would lose all his brain cells if he didn’t stop making those heart eyes behind your back any time soon," he said, pointing at Reki.
Shit. Reki groaned, fell back, and buried his head in his hands. He didn’t even want to see what Langa's face looked like right now.
“See ya ’round,” Miya added, before finally disappearing, now that the damage was done.
Reki could feel Langa shift again, even though he wasn’t looking. The guy lay down next to him, close, but not so that they were touching. And then, he had the audacity to start chuckling.
“Heart eyes, Reki?”
His voice sounded so innocent, Reki couldn’t bring himself to make a snarky comment. Instead, he finally uncovered his face, frowned, and started getting up.
“Shut it. We need to find Shadow…” he grumbled, surprised when he found Langa’s smile slowly dropping into a frown.
3.
Was this getting weird? It had been three weeks since their first date now, and Langa still only ever went along with whatever kind of physical contact Reki initiated.
Every now and then, he’d let his head drop on Reki’s shoulder, or they would sit together close enough to touch from shoulder to thigh, or Langa would ask him to hold on more tightly when they drove to ‘S’ together. Those kinds of things were already happening before, though, right?
Honestly, Reki had no idea what was considered normal in these sorts of situations and what wasn’t. (And if "normal" even mattered.) Was he too focused on it? Were relationship just... this? Maybe Langa just didn't like physical affection? That would be fine, too. Mostly, he was just confused. He didn't get it, and unless they talked about it, he probably never would.
Talking was anything but easy, though, so he just had to deal with the fact that not daydreaming about Langa’s lips was an occurrence rarer than actually understanding whatever was going on in class.
And nobody could blame him for that, right? Daydreaming wasn't a crime, and daydreaming about your boyfriend (maybe?) was totally understandable. At least that's what REKI thought.
The thing he could be blamed for, it anything, was not talking to Langa about it immediately. But really, there was a reason why he didn't.
Any time he even tried to mention it, Langa just looked at him with those puppy eyes, and for some reason Reki always ended up feeling like he was doing something totally and entirely wrong. He wasn’t, of course, but that didn’t change the way he felt about it. (And how his body tensed up and practically stopped working.)
Occasionally, Langa seemed to feel that something was off, but knowing him, he probably didn’t know how to bring it up either.
Communicating was hard, okay?
At least when it came to talking about feelings. Anything else went as easily as always. They had a good time at school – as good as that could get at least – and even enjoyed the time they spent together at work.
Today was no different.
They were supposed to be sorting new supplies and hanging up T-shirts. It wasn’t hard work at all, but that also made it a little boring. The fact that they didn’t need to focus all that much on what they were doing led them to fall into conversation easily.
“I watched the YouTube videos you’ve sent me yesterday, by the way,” Langa said with a smile.
Obviously, that got Reki excited. Langa was probably the only person who actually watched, read and tried pretty much anything and everything that Reki recommended. It was always a little heart-warming, and he felt the need to thank him every time.
Langa had told him a long time ago that he didn’t need to. He liked skating as well, so he appreciated Reki teaching him, showing him stuff, and talking to him about it. It had been one of the nicest things he’d ever heard, and definitely one of the reasons why he was falling for him so hard.
Remembering all that, he always struggled to keep himself in check.
Before he knew it, he was draped over Langa’s back, arms around his neck. “You’re the best, you know that?”
Langa was kneeling on the floor, and had apparently been distracted trying to pick something up, because he almost lost his balance with Reki’s weight on top of him.
He didn’t give him the chance to pull away, though. In fact, he grabbed Reki’s wrists and gave them a squeeze. His face was quickly going red, and he looked vaguely uncomfortable, though, so Reki was ready to move anyway.
Unsurprisingly, someone else interrupted before he could.
Oka just had to walk in right then and there. He sighed dramatically, and Reki wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do. Something about not having discussed with Langa how they would act around others when asked if they were dating made him freeze up every time. Actually, this was only the second time, but still.
Seriously, was he supposed to just play it cool? Admit it? He really, really needed to ask.
Instead Langa got up, not even bothering to let go. Essentially, he dragged Reki up with him – who was faintly impressed by his strength – and now they were in an even weirder position, as Reki would just need to wrap his legs around Langa’s torso to basically receive a piggyback ride.
When Oka looked away and mumbled, “What the hell is wrong with you guys?”, he kind of expected the worst, but that was it.The interaction was almost over before it had even started.
Oka walked back out of the room, and only turned around to say one last thing before leaving.
“Reki. Get off your boyfriend's back. Langa… Don’t... let him do just anything and everything, okay? Gotta keep the idiot in check sometimes.”
Both Langa and Reki were speechless when he really left this time. Despite the awkward air in the room, Reki was finally let go of, so he took a couple steps back. He didn’t know what to do and where to look. He wasn’t sure if this was bad. To him, it had gone okay, but what if Langa didn’t agree? Holy shit, this was so complicated.
“Are you okay, Reki?” Langa’s voice finally snapped him out of his little thoughts.
Reki smiled softly, shrugged, and then realized that he should be the one asking that question.
“Wait, are you? I mean, I wasn’t sure what to do ‘cause I didn’t know if you wanted him to know, and… like, are you fine with this?”
Langa looked at him like he was some kind of mystery that needed to be solved while he rambled, so when Reki finally came to a stop, Langa's lips curled up into one of his reserved smiles. And god, Reki really would never get enough of the way Langa’s cheeks heated up and his weight shifted from one foot to another - so delicately and slowly.
“Know what? I mean, it doesn’t really matter what he thinks, does it? Unless it bothers you, he can say whatever he wants.”
“Oh. Yeah. You’re right.”
“Obviously,” Langa deadpanned, and for a moment Reki wasn’t sure if he was joking. Then both of them started chuckling, and he couldn’t help but shake his head.
“You’re spending too much time with Miya."
4.
Another night of ‘S’.
To be honest, Reki didn’t feel like going today. There was just something about it recently that didn’t satisfy him like it used to.
Watching Langa skate was great. Skating with him was even better. Watching him improve was truly amazing, and he did feel a little proud, knowing that he was the reason why Langa was even here.
At the same time, all of this was kind of depressing. Langa was improving at an incredibly fast pace, and was already good at things that Reki had been trying for years. Not that he wasn’t happy for his friend, or that he liked skating any less because of that.
These feelings would probably be forgotten again sooner or later. He’d be fine, and totally enjoy himself once he was there. That’s how it had gone many times already. He wasn’t someone who would let bad thoughts like that ruin his day anyway. Totally not.
So, when they were sitting in Shadow’s car (after Reki had begged him to pick them up earlier that day), he was smiling like he usually would have been. It didn’t seem like anyone noticed anything, which he figured was a good thing. His act must have been convincing.
The conversation between the others was getting heated, though, and he hadn’t really contributed much so far. He decided to listen in for a while to hopefully jump in at some point.
“Okay, so you don’t want to ask him out directly… why exactly?” Miya asked.
Shadow groaned and rolled his eyes – probably not the best thing to do while driving a car, but he didn’t seem to care.
“Because! She’s just gonna think ‘Oh what does this man have to offer? He just looks kinda scary. Does he even have a job looking like that? He probably can’t provide anything at all!’ So I need to impress him first, and make sure he knows that I am actually useful, and then he's going to say yes when I ask him out!”
Shadow looked and sounded absolutely enraged as he spoke, like he couldn't understand how this didn’t occur to all of them.
Langa was looking out of the window, seemingly disinterested.
Reki’s attention quickly shifted to Miya again, who was now fully arguing. “What? That’s ridiculous! You don’t have to be useful for someone to like you!” (The statement did seem a little hypocritical to Reki, but the kid had his issues, so he didn’t point it out.)
Shadow immediately shot back, “What do you know? You’re like twelve! None of you have ever been in a relationship anyway!”
“First of all, I’m thirteen, and second, that’s not even true!”
“What, you’re gonna tell me you’ve dated before? I thought none of us mere humans were worthy of you!”
Miya visibly pouted at that and turned away, looking out of the window now as well.
“I was talking about the two back there,” he added quietly, and Reki felt himself blush.
Well, fuck.
Langa didn’t seem to have heard what Miya said, so when Shadow looked at him through the rearview mirror, Reki was the one who finally needed to say something. The eyes on him were expectant and curious.
“Yeah,” he managed, “It’s true! I have a boyfriend!” he proclaimed loudly, and so unnaturally he wouldn’t even believe himself. This definitely wasn’t how he had imagined officially calling Langa his boyfriend for the first time would go.
Either way, those words caught everyone’s attention. Miya was giggling, Langa was staring at him, and Shadow let out a loud laugh.
“Yeah, right. You think I’ll believe that? Miya clearly just said that so he could keep giving me bad advice,” the man said eventually, and Reki frowned. He spoke before he could stop himself.
“It’s true, though!”
“Where’s the proof?”
“Langa, you tell him!”
Langa looked between him and Shadow. He looked a little caught off guard. Reki figured it was probably because he still hadn’t been listening properly. Maybe he wasn’t even sure what he was supposed to say? God, this was embarrassing.
Unsure what else to do, Reki grabbed Langa’s hand, intertwining their fingers. Then, finally, Langa just said “Yeah, it’s true,” and Reki thanked the gods he got the hint.
Shadow’s eyes widened so much, it would have been hilarious, if not for the way he lost focus while turning around and looking back at them.
“Look at the street! How are you an adult?” Miya suddenly shouted. It had the desired effect, but the car was silent after that. A little too quiet. Reki’s mind was drifting again.
5.
The past weeks had been weird, and it had only been getting worse these days. Langa was acting… different, to say the least.
He was being distant lately. Reki felt like he couldn’t read him at all anymore, and it was eating away at him.
Not only was he becoming… jealous, maybe, of Langa while he was skating, but he also felt like he was starting to understand him less. It didn’t make any sense. Nothing had really changed, so he shouldn’t have had this much trouble trying to figure things out.
Was he just imagining all of this? Was he thinking about Langa staying away from him, how he didn’t need him, how he’d eventually be left behind so much that he was becoming the one who was putting distance between them? Maybe he was pushing Langa away subconsciously?
Or maybe Langa was actually feeling the same way? Maybe that’s why he wasn’t asking about it, even though he clearly noticed something was up?
Maybe he didn’t want to hang out with Reki anymore, after all. Maybe he was unsatisfied with this dating thing. He had probably hoped for more. It wouldn’t come as a surprise. Langa was great. All the girls liked him, and some boys probably did, too – in more than just a friendly way.
There was so much. So many possibilities for what could be going wrong.
Thinking about all of them was painful and exhausting, but at this point he just couldn’t ignore it anymore – this feeling. He had tried to not let it get to him, but really, how could he not?
If Langa didn’t like him anymore, or just didn’t want to date him, he should have said so. It wasn’t fair to either of them if he kept quiet about it.
God, they really, really needed to talk before Reki went entirely insane. He couldn’t stand this weird game of feeling happy one moment and entirely miserable the next. He didn’t want drama, but were his feelings really that? Would this be considered toxic behavior?
He was worried out of his mind – making one assumption after another. So much so, that he wasn’t sure what was right and wrong anymore. What was real? What was he just imagining? When had he forgotten how to stand up for himself? How did he end up here, unsure about his own feelings – if they were valid, if they were real.
He knew what he needed to do. Sort his own thoughts out. Try to understand himself. Explain to Langa. Listen to what Langa had to say. Work it out. That was how it had to go. They’d get through this, as friends, at the very least, and it would all work out.
But what if it didn’t?
Reki hated himself for thinking it, but he couldn’t stop it. He had been worried about this for so long, his mind was no longer making any sense at all.
He couldn’t wait any longer, he needed to talk to Langa today.
He’d have to risk it. Even if he didn’t know how to explain, or what to say.
He had felt Langa watching him during first period. His thoughts had been racing, and he had been worried that he would explode, if he had to do this for even one more day.
So, that’s how they got here. Walking home together. Ready to talk about whatever was going on. Hopefully.
Lunch had been awkward – not for the first time – but somehow this was even worse.
They were skating. Casually, right next to each other. The air was thick and warm, though, and Reki felt even more sweaty than he would have if he wasn’t this nervous.
For some reason, talking about something as serious as this while skating seemed… wrong. They would most likely get distracted, not hear each other, or whatever else. Reki thought that much was obvious, but Langa kept looking at him. His eyes were curious, or confused, maybe a mix of both. So, eventually Reki said, “At your place,” and Langa nodded, smiling like he usually would have.
After that, the atmosphere shifted a little, and time passed more quickly. Langa’s house was in sight way too soon and way too late all at once. The whole situation was just becoming more unbearable with every second. It was bad.
Reki couldn’t describe the feeling any differently. It was just bad - he dreaded it, and he really, really just wanted it to be over already.
Once they came to a stop, Langa started heading inside. Oh no. He probably thought Reki wanted to come in. No, he couldn’t. This wasn’t how he wanted to officially meet Langa’s mother. What if they wouldn’t even be dating anymore after this? Did that make sense? Would Langa introduce him if he didn’t-
“Reki? Are you coming?”
“No.”
“Huh? Why not?”
Langa walked back towards him as he spoke, stopping in front of him. He wasn’t smiling anymore, and Reki felt a little guilty already.
Okay. No time for that now. He needed to ease into the topic, make sure he didn’t sound offensive, or whatever else. He could do this.
“Do you hate me?”
Okay, that was absolutely not how he had wanted that to go. Obviously, that was a stupid question, right?
For some reason he still didn’t dare look at Langa’s face after asking. What if he didn’t like the meaning of his expression?
For a moment there was silence, though, and his curiosity got the best of him.
Langa was staring at him, eyes wide, mouth opened slightly. He was gaping, and the sight would have been funny if Reki wasn’t internally freaking out right now.
“What?” Langa finally managed.
Reki frowned. Not the best answer, but alright.
“Do you, like, not like me anymore? I mean, you’ve been acting weird lately, and I guess our situation has changed recently, but is it really that bad? It’s okay if it is, well, it’s not, but I’ll get over it. Point is, I need to know in order to do that.”
“What? Reki, what are you even talking about? You’re my best friend, of course I still like you!”
“Oh.”
“Yeah! Why would you think that? I would never risk our friendship! Is this because of the thing at ‘S’?”
“What thing at…. What?”
Realization was dawning on Reki, but, like, the worst kind.
Friendship. Best friend. Langa hadn’t said a single thing about this being a relationship. Holy shit. They weren’t dating.
How? Reki had- Had he actually misread all the signs? Oh god, this was so embarrassing.
He looked back at Langa, hoping to confirm that he was getting this all wrong. Langa was just shy. He didn’t like talking about feelings – romantic feelings. But no. He was only met with worried eyes. What the hell was even going on at this point?
He didn’t understand a single thing anymore, but he felt pathetic. So pathetic and embarrassed and ashamed. How had he not realized? How had everyone else not realized? Oh no.
“I’m gonna…” Reki didn’t finish his sentence before he was back on his board, going the opposite direction of where they came from. He just needed to… get away.
+1.
The day after he realized what situation he was in, Reki hadn’t come to school, or to ‘S’. He couldn’t get out of bed. Seriously, how had he been stupid enough to think someone like Langa would go out with him?
The past few weeks hadn’t been the amazing dream that dating your crush was supposed to be like, and now it all made sense.
He felt a little ridiculous for taking so long to understand that he had made it too easy for himself. After all, he had never properly confessed to Langa anyway. He kind of just figured he understood. They never talked about boundaries or any of that either. It should have been obvious that something like ‘just knowing’ didn’t exist. You needed to communicate, and that was it. There was no way around it.
So yes, he knew now, that there was no way to avoid Langa forever. He would need to explain sooner or later – why he was acting this way. But today wasn’t the day. And well, the rest of the week wasn’t it either.
He didn’t stay home for all of it, but he cancelled on ‘S’ every time. Alright, that was a lie. He showed up once, when Langa was supposed to skate against Joe. Apart from really having wanted to see it with his own two eyes, he had been slightly worried – not that Langa would lose, but that he’d end up hurting himself somehow.
Neither of the two happened, though. Langa had actually won, and looked totally unharmed afterwards. It was enough to reassure Reki, so he went home right after.
As soon as he was back in school, though, guilt overcame him more quickly than he could have anticipated. It only got worse when Langa tried talking to him, tell him how much fun his beef against Joe had been, but how it hadn’t felt quite right without Reki there to support him, how he had missed him.
It made Reki’s heart ache.
Still, he couldn’t just pretend he was fine. Langa seemed to get it, so after only two days of trying to go back to normal, he backed off.
At first, Reki thought Langa was giving him space, but when he had tried talking to Langa on his fourth day back in school, he had been ignored.
For the rest of that day, he shut up, waited, hoped that Langa would talk to him again, make the first move.
Nothing came of it, though, and two weeks in school passed with the two of them barely even acknowledging each other’s existence.
During that time, Reki had tried reaching out at least once more, but something occurred to him then. After days of trying to figure out why Langa wasn’t talking to him anymore, Reki was pretty sure he knew the answer.
It hurt, because, honestly, he hadn’t taken Langa to be this type of person. What other reason could there be, though?
He must have figured out Reki liked him romantically, and been so unhappy about it, that he didn’t want to talk to him any longer. Maybe he was disgusted, or weirded out? God, could this have gone any worse?
He only knew one way to cope, to get his mind off of these things; skating.
The problem with that? He couldn’t even step on a board without thinking of Langa. It was awful.
He stopped going to ‘S’ entirely, which felt unfair. He should be the one still enjoying this, not Langa. He hadn’t even done anything that bad, so why did this feel like a break-up? Even worse, a break-up, which he was on the losing end of.
When did his embarrassment and shame start turning into frustration and anger? He didn’t even want to be mad at Langa. The guy was his best friend. He could get over being totally in love with him – holy shit, was that what this was now? No longer a crush, but love? – but there was no point in that, if Langa didn’t want him around at all anymore.
One evening, while he was trying to decide on how to go about this, he finally, after so many days of not talking at all, got a message from Langa.
He was scared to open it at first, but when it was followed up by a second and a third, he noticed that they were links… to YouTube videos.
There was nothing else. Just that. Seemingly random skating videos. Reki actually recognized one of them. He was pretty sure he had shown it to Langa a couple weeks ago, and he wondered if the guy had already forgotten. Still, he watched all of them. They were entertaining, and quite impressive, and why would he let this fight, or whatever it was, ruin even more things he used to enjoy?
Wondering if this was Langa’s way of trying to apologize, he opened the chatroom again, and started to type. Only then, did he notice that Langa was not only online, but typing as well.
That made Reki stop in his tracks, and he waited. He wasn’t sure how long it took, but it honestly felt like forever.
The message he eventually received was simple. “Can I come over?”
It was getting late, but it wasn’t dark out yet. His sisters were probably asleep and his mom wouldn’t be all too happy if she found out, but it wouldn’t be the first time Langa snuck in. And well, Reki did want to see him. He was sort of desperate at this point.
He ended up texting back a “Be quiet,” which was usually enough of a sign to let Langa know that they’d be doing this in secret. He hoped he would still get it.
He did. It only took about twenty minutes until the guy was in his room, sitting on his floor and breathing heavily. Reki offered a bottle of water, but Langa refused, so they were just sitting there, waiting for him to catch his breath. Or at least that was what they were telling themselves to provide an excuse for the suffocating quiet between them.
After a little less than five minutes, Reki decided it was enough. They'd had their time apart, enough of it to think this through. Now they just needed to actually talk about it.
“So, why are you here?”
Langa looked at him, like the question was stupid, but didn’t answer.
Reki let out a huff of frustration. “Come on, Langa. If you want to end this friendship just get it over with already.”
Pointedly, Langa ignored his fairly aggressive way of asking him to say something, anything, and just started like he was the one who had begun the conversation in the first place.
“You’ve been avoiding me recently-“
Reki laughed. It sounded annoyed, “Says you.” He didn’t even know why he was this pissed. He needed to get it together, he knew that. So, he shook his head, and added a softer “Sorry,” right after.
Langa looked down, and blushed. Why was he blushing? He shook his head, too, and finally continued.
“Right. I wanted to apologize for that. I, uh…. Kind of figured out what made you avoid me in the first place, I think?”
Now it was Reki’s turn to blush. But fuck, that definitely meant he was right about Langa’s feelings towards him, didn’t it? So why was he here? He could have just rejected him over text and spared them both the embarrassment.
“Yeah, I thought we were dating. Sorry. I should’ve asked you about it, and I won’t talk to you again if it bothers you that much. I mean, it’s kind of really rude of you ‘cause I’m still just human and I can get over my feelings bu-“
Reki stopped himself when him and Langa finally locked eyes again. Langa looked… confused?
“What?” he asked, not sure how to continue now. He forgot where he had left off anyway.
What did any of this even mean?
“Reki…. What?” Langa replied, and his doe eyed look was sort of starting to get on Reki's nerves. Luckily, he got saved from snapping at him again, when Langa kept talking without being prompted.
“I… uh, I’m not bothered! I wanted to apologize for not getting it in the first place! You made it pretty obvious after all and I-“ he kept getting louder, and looking more flustered, so Reki finally got off his bed and sat down in front of him. It was enough to shut Langa up for a second, and when he continued it was almost in a whisper.
“I didn’t get why you were avoiding me at first, but when you didn’t come to ‘S’, I talked to Miya, and he was so confused when I said you weren’t talking to me, and then I explained what happened, and he told me I was a dumbass, and so did Shadow, and then I had to ask Cherry for help. Reki, it was horrible.”
Langa’s desperate tone and his (adorable) rambling actually got a smile out of Reki, so he looked away.
“Well, I figured out you… thought that, and then I…. needed to… you know, sort my thoughts out and everything. And when I realized I really do like you back that way, I kind of thought about how I’d confess, but Miya didn’t want to help, and I didn’t know what to do.”
Okay. What? Did Reki just hear that right? Did Langa actually just say that he liked him back?
“You what?”
“Oh no.”
“What do you mean ‘Oh no’?”
“Wait, forget you even heard that!”
“What? Why? No!”
Now Reki was the one getting loud. Was that why Langa was leaning in? They were so close, oh god.
Langa’s hands rested on Reki’s shoulders, and their noses were almost touching. Reki’s heart was beating hard – racing, actually –, his hands were sweaty, and he felt his breath hitch.
“Reki.”
Silence. Was he supposed to say something? Langa was looking at him so expectantly.
“I wanted to ask with… well, some greater gesture, that would have made up for me ignoring you, I guess, but this'll have to do now. Do you want to be my boyfriend? Officially.”
He blinked. Did he die or something? Was this heaven? Some prank? Did he hit his head? He really, really wasn’t sure how to form words right now, and he sort of wanted to cry. Why did he ever think Langa would want to end their friendship over something like this?
Beautiful, smart, funny, talented, simply stunning Langa. He was too kind to even say no when some asshole asked to copy his homework, so why did Reki think he’d actually ignore him and hate him over this? He was pretty sure now, that Langa would never hate anyone. He was always amazed by people, so easily impressed and entranced. God, did Reki really deserve him after everything? All of this was too much, overwhelming.
“Why?”
He couldn’t help himself. He was crying now. Weeks of pent-up emotions were coming for him. There was no stopping it.
Langa backed away, like he got punched in the face or something. His hands stayed on Reki’s shoulders, though, and Reki was grateful. Langa's touch was grounding.
“What? What do you mean why?” Langa’s voice came out a little strained, and Reki wasn’t sure what to do about that. Not that he could really do anything right now. He felt… exhausted, tired of everything… not enough. Why would Langa want him?
“I… you, you don’t have to-“ he couldn’t even get the sentence out, so he just shook his head.
“Do you not like me anymore?” Langa asked, brows furrowed in worry, and Reki laughed, because how much cuter could he possibly get?
“I do, I just- Why do you… like me? I didn’t even…”
“Can I hug you?”
Langa looked so serious and determined, Reki nodded almost immediately. He still felt guilty, but maybe having his crush’s – boyfriend’s? – arms wrapped around him would help.
For a while, they awkwardly tried finding a position that was comfortable without being suffocating. Once they managed, Reki nuzzled Langa’s shoulder, and, in turn, got a hum from him. Only seconds later, Langa’s slender fingers were softly brushing through his hair, and the humming became a constant.
They were warm like this – intertwined, together. The slow movement of fingers and scratching of his scalp made it easy enough to forget about everything else, at least for a bit.
Reki wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but Langa spoke eventually.
“Reki,” Langa started again, and wow, he must really like his name.
“I like you, because you’re amazing, Reki.”
Langa’s voice was soft, but none of what he said sounded forced. Reki shut his eyes, nodding softly, so that Langa knew he could go on if he wanted to.
“You’re just…. you. You’re welcoming, warm, and open. And you’re so good at skating, and a patient teacher. I like your laugh, and when you try to hide your smile. Your hair is fluffy and you smell nice. You suck at English, to be honest, but you make up for it in math,” Langa pulled away a little, like he was trying to see what kind of effect his words might have had. Whether or not this was what Reki liked to hear.
Admittedly, it did make Reki feel a little better. He actually blushed harder, which was why he was trying to hide his face even more when Langa put some distance between them.
Obviously, a couple nice words didn’t exactly solve all his problems. In fact, they didn’t really make him feel any less unworthy of someone as bright and perfect as Langa.
Still, for now, they were enough to make him think that maybe, just maybe, he actually could have this. They could make this work. They could be happy together, right? If Langa would have him, who was he to say no?
“Langa?” He asked between sniffles – when had he started crying again?
“Yes, Reki?”
“I really like you. Do you still wanna be my boyfriend?”
Langa smiled, “I’m pretty sure I asked you that exact question, like, five minutes ago. You think I would change my mind that easily, Reki?”
“Smartass.”
Reki felt a little accomplished when Langa laughed.
“Yeah, I want to be your boyfriend.”
“Okay.”
“Yeah. Can I stay over then?”
“Huh?”
This time it was Langa’s turn to freeze, go red, and splutter as he tried coming up with a response.
“I just- I… I didn’t want to leave you by yourself! You’d probably just cry again!”
“What? Take that back right now!”
Langa tilted his head instead of saying anything, and Reki pouted, but gave in.
“Fine, but be quiet.”