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In an instant, his life changed. And in another, everything he'd built up came crashing down.
He didn't know it at first, but going into that lab was going to give him the worst and best things in his life.
He'd thought that being alone was bad, but in that moment after he broke the surface, he'd have given anything to be by himself--- by themself . To be with Venom again. To feel the weight in his chest, hear the voice in his head. It hadn't been long since they’d first merged, but the sudden loss crippled him.
He couldn't believe that he'd ever left Venom before. When he'd done it the first time, when he'd stared at the gooey mass that was the Symbiote hitching a ride in his body, he had felt oddly shattered. He’d felt betrayed--- utterly . As if he were looking at a piece of himself that he couldn't get back. Dan went on to say that his organs were failing, that whatever parasite he had was killing him. Naïve as it was, Eddie had really thought that Venom was telling the truth, that he wouldn't let them get hurt. That pain didn't last for long, however; it was replaced with the searing pain of being kidnapped and beat on by Drake's people, though before he knew it, Venom was back. The pain dissipated and he felt like he could breathe again. That weight, the voice, the indescribable presence, patched back into him as if it were destined to be that way.
But it wasn't. Eddie realized that when they were falling, the fire around them causing agonizing pain, though not to Eddie--- no, it was Venom who felt that pain. Eddie felt the ghost of that suffering, and for once in his life, he wished he could endure more, that he could take it away and experience it himself. He didn't even think before he was begging Venom to let him take some of the pain--- any of it. The Symbiote would die if he kept protecting them. Venom had been considerate of Eddie's desires before, but he left no room for argument then. Eddie thought back to something Venom had said; that it was him who had convinced them to stay on Earth, to protect it. He'd never been the source of inspiration for anything so dramatic, so he'd had no idea of how to respond to that. Now, he wished he had something to say. Anything .
Goodbye, Eddie.
His heart painfully skipped a beat--- a fucking dozen, for all he knew.
You'll be safe, Eddie.
No we . His thoughts screamed back to Venom that he wanted them to be safe, yet it was seemingly fruitless. Eddie was on the brink of passing out, and then he hit the water.
Life seemed to go on pause in his mind, while his body did what it had to in order to survive. Though without the presence of Venom, the act of swimming to land, to dragging his soaked, aching body out of the water, felt almost laughable. The nihilistic voice in his head, the one he figured every person lived with at one point or another, asked him why he even bothered. He didn't know the answer.
No one found him. Briefly, he wondered if anyone had even tried. His feet brought him to Anne's apartment, albeit a few hours, a few days? later. He collapsed on her doorstep, causing a new stir of panic as she urged Dan to help her get him inside. He awoke some time later, his ears ringing, feeling numb. Anne was trying to tell him how long he'd been out, about how she'd been looking for him, and distantly, she asked about Venom, but Eddie felt as if he were a million miles away. His silence was enough of an answer; Anne gave him a hug, while Dan put a comforting hand on his shoulder. All he could manage to do was stare out the nearby window, at the night sky.
He thought only of Symbiotes. Of if they were out there, if more were ever coming.
None will replace him , he reminded himself. None are Venom .
Eddie had long since gone back to his own decrepit apartment. Weeks had passed, and though he had recovered from any injuries he'd had and everything was ' back to normal ', everything felt wrong . It felt lonelier than before--- which he'd thought was impossible. Anne had offered to get him a fish, or a pet of some kind; it was with the best intentions that she did this, even though she knew Eddie couldn't even keep a cactus alive. No matter how hard she tried, he rarely texted or called her back. It was ironic; a few months ago she'd desired never to speak to him again, but now she worried about him frequently.
It didn't change their feelings. She loved him, of course she did--- she loved Eddie a lot, but she loved Dan much differently and deeply. Eddie knew that and didn't blame her. Having Anne back, them dating, wouldn't fix anything, anyway. He just couldn't feel whole again, not since he'd been so full of life--- of something else, something no one else could understand. Bitterly, he found it funny that he almost wished he could talk to Drake. Drake knew how he felt, how it was to be merged. But had Drake ever cared for Riot? Had Riot ever cared for him?
Eddie thought himself to be a fool. A few days with a killer alien and he'd gone soft in all the wrong ways? What was up with that?
He felt a chill as he stepped outside. He'd been reluctant to even leave his apartment, but he figured that if starvation didn't get him, Anne would. He felt bad that she always brought him food. Dan did, too. Hell, even Mrs. Chen did, sometimes. He planned on texting Anne later, with a picture proving that he had food. At least she'd have some more free time. Less Eddie-babysitting-time. Even if it meant that he had to drag his carcass of a body to some store or another--- not the convenience store, Anne would kill him if he ate anymore tater tots and nachos.
He felt himself grow sentimental as he took a walk to the nearest decent grocery store. It was a long walk, but even if he was tired and out of shape, it felt like the best decision. He even had his phone on, for once, after weeks of refusing to have it turned on. In fact, it even rang.
It was somebody--- obviously a 'somebody' who hadn't caught the memo that Eddie Brock was a sad sack of shit at the moment--- who wanted him to come to Chicago. Do some kind of an interview, or something. He wasn't really listening, to be honest. No matter how much he slept, he always felt like he was in a daze.
He'd agreed to the job before he thought about it, before he asked why they wanted him. He wasn't even sure if other people had offered him jobs lately. He'd been in contact with a few people ( FBI? police? did he even pay attention? ), though to be honest, he had been in a worse state back then. He was fresh off of losing Venom, with no one who understood his pain, so he wasn't the most useful to any investigations. He had been given compensation from Drake's company, which was losing money left and right for all the shit they'd done. Money didn't make anything better, really, but it did let Eddie live like a hopeless mess for a few months.
However, maybe accepting the job was for the best. He'd run out of money someday. And as much as he hated to admit it,
he couldn't mourn Venom forever.
Weeks later, it was snowing--- only a bit, but it was the first snow of the year. Eddie had traveled before, so it wasn't a new sight for him. If anything, it was just irritating, because Chicago was a thousand times colder and wetter than what he was used to. At least it distracted him, but it made him look like a bit of an idiot when he was on camera. Fortunately, right now, he wasn't on camera. He was just walking down the street, hands shoved into his pockets, eyes downcast.
It was impulsive and odd, Eddie had never really been one to pay attention to the snow beyond being annoyed by it, but he found himself tilting his head up, mouth open and allowing a few flakes to hit his tongue. A few hit his nose, too, and his features crinkled up as he rubbed at the wet spot.
What was that, Eddie? a voice echoed through his mind; for a split second, long enough for him to blurt out 'just snow' , he had forgotten that he didn't usually have a voice in his head.
His heart started to beat erratically. He felt panicked. Was he going insane, now?
Is snow bad, Eddie? the voice mistook his anxiety as a sign that the weather was harming him, yet there seemed to be no way that it could.
Meanwhile, Eddie had spent the better part of the last few weeks--- hell, the last few months , just trying to forget the presence of--- Venom . That Venom had ever been a part of his life. For a solid few days, he had wondered if he'd hallucinated it all. But there was proof, even if he ignored the fact that Dan and Anne seemed to recall everything. Online there were blurry photos of the San Francisco monster--- or alien, whatever people called him. It was a towering and goopy black figure, with a habit of eating people's heads. It matched Eddie's memories perfectly. So either he was projecting his idiocy onto something that didn't happen to him, or,
Eddie?
He had to sit down. Unfortunately, there were no benches nearby. It was early evening, everyone was busy sitting in restaurants, or happily at home, ready to eat dinner. They were with their families. Eddie, however, was having an existential crisis on a public street, all by himself. At least no one was really around. When he fell to the ground, ass first, hitting the concrete of the sidewalk, he didn't really feel any pain. But he was shaking, his head pounding, and his heart feeling like it was about to pour out of his chest. He contemplated dialing 911. Or maybe Anne--- hell, even Dan.
No hospitals.
The voice was back. Vivid memories of his time in the hospital, when Venom had been forced from his body, flashed through his mind. Eddie had thought of it before, but with the memories came a unique feeling of pain. A pain he hadn't felt before.
A pain that wasn't his .
He felt like the air had been punched from his lungs.
" Venom? " His voice shook, his eyes watering. He had brought a hand up to his chest, as if clutching at the fabric of his shirt would give him an answer.
Somehow, it did. A mass of black tendrils seeped out from his chest, enveloping his hand. Suddenly, he noticed that he wasn't cold anymore. He felt warm, as if he were in front of a fire, swaddled by a blanket. God, he felt sappy .
Eddie. We are fine, Eddie. Why are you afraid?
He didn't know how to respond. He felt another tendril reach out, from his shoulder, to wipe away the tears that had started to roll down his cheek.
"I'm not... I'm not fucking afraid--- You... you were gone !" His voice was filled with disbelief. He felt the panic rising again, though within a few seconds, the sensation disappeared.
No, Eddie. We've been here. With you. You protected us.
Eddie felt shock ripple through him.
" Me? " How could he ever protect them? All he'd done was act like a sadass the last few months.
Maybe not just you. Anne, too. And Dan. He gave us snacks, so he won't be one.
From panic, to shock, to amusement, Eddie wondered if he could have emotional whiplash.
"Dan isn't a bad guy. Anne was... Anne was worried about you," a second passed and Venom corrected Eddie with an ' us '.
We were... Eddie could almost feel Venom rooting around in his memories, in his thoughts, to find the appropriate words. ... asleep for a long time. We're sorry, Eddie.
Now he wondered if the odd things that happened--- him agreeing to this job, him randomly demanding things, or losing his train of thought but finding he had still spoken, were proof of Venom's presence having never truly left him.
Yes. We wanted to come here. Eddie was sad. You wanted a job again. We agreed to the job. We were very tired, but we wanted you to be happy. For us to be happy.
Even when on the edge of death, Venom thought for them. For what was the best. Eddie brought his hand, the one with the tendrils wrapped around it, up to his mouth, giving it a kiss, feeling the tendrils leave his hand, instead caressing his cheek. The affectionate gesture grew more firm and focused, while Eddie also felt that same feeling of Venom digging through his thoughts.
We did not know you cared for us so much.
"Yeah... well, never thought I'd have a parasite make me codependent, but here we are." Eddie felt a laugh bubble up, the first one in a very long time.
We'll let that pass , Venom said, as if it were a warning, but with infinite amusement. Eddie figured he had maybe one parasite joke per year, if he was lucky.
No more parasite jokes, no more pussy jokes.
"Well, I can't pass that up." He had a feeling there'd be a lot of occasions where he would, most definitely, be a pussy. So a truce was in order.
A thought of Anne flashed into his head, but he didn't know if he'd tell anyone of this. However, he figured it'd be okay if he celebrated with some tater tots and chocolate. It was a special occasion after all, right? It was better than eating someone's head, at any rate. It wasn't everyday that you had your alien parasite come back to life.
NOT a parasite!
Eddie probably looked out of his mind as he burst out laughing, but he didn't care. Absentmindedly, he sent out a mental I love you to Venom, whose parasite-induced tantrum subsided. He heard a very small but definite we love you back. A few seconds passed and Venom added a ' bitch ', because Eddie was indeed, a little bitch. Love or not.
They were truly back, back together. And finally, Eddie felt whole again.
Eddie went back to San Francisco acting like a different man--- or maybe, just more like he'd been before. He was confident, outgoing, ready to do whatever needed to be done. Anne was delighted to see the change. Eddie was even willing to talk to her, and Dan, and he was back to looking for work. She didn't know what had happened, but the light, the happiness, in Eddie's eyes told her that everything was going to be okay.