Chapter Text
Carmen fidgets on the bench she’s chosen to wait on, resisting the urge to check her watch for the millionth time.
It’s not usually like this; normally, she’s the one who finds people who are waiting for her, not the other way around.
But Player had insisted on meeting up somewhere close to the hotel he’d booked for her, and he claimed this park as one of his favorites. And Carmen has to admit that it is beautiful, even with how on-edge she is.
She knows why she’s so jittery; sitting down was probably a bad idea. The Cleaners had found her sitting on a bench just like this one, and the déjà vu feeling isn’t pleasant.
But she’s already done a couple of laps around the park, and she’s the one who felt it necessary to arrive half an hour before the time Player had promised to be there, so of course, she’s going to have to wait.
She pulls her hood up over her head, reminding herself that she’s safe now, that she has nothing to fear from VILE anymore with all the faculty behind bars. She shudders involuntarily; it’s probably better to think of something else right now.
Her phone pings in her pocket, a welcome distraction. It’s Ivy checking in on their group chat for the third time since Carmen had left San Diego.
How’s it going Carm?
Carmen understands why Ivy is worried – why her whole team is worried. After spending six months worried sick about her after she was taken by VILE – made even worse after discovering she had been mind-wiped – her team had been euphoric when Carmen had finally come home. But the recovery process hasn’t been that easy, and they’re all still dealing with it in their own ways.
Whatever Dr. Bellum had done to her brain, it had a lot of side effects, to put it mildly. Both mentally and physically. And the interrupted job of the ACME device had only made it worse. But that one was her own fault really.
The migraines that started shortly after were utterly debilitating at times, even after finding medicine that worked for her. And the intrusive thoughts that Carmen was left with had taken a therapy diagnosis for her to truly start to believe that she hadn’t been permanently turned into a bad person, secretly waiting for the next opportunity to strike.
To put it simply: it’s been an adjustment period for all of them.
So, there was a lot of resistance when Carmen brought up the idea of going to visit Player on her own. Especially from Ivy, who had barely let Carmen out of her sight since her return.
Surprisingly, Shadowsan was the first to relent, convincing Zack, and eventually Ivy, to let her go alone. He understood that she wanted to spend some quality time with her oldest friend after everything that had happened.
Plus, she’s been doing better the past few weeks, and they all knew she was going to go whether she had their approval or not.
She responds to Ivy before going back to people-watching, scanning everywhere she can see for the person she’s waiting for.
All good. Meeting up with Player soon. It’s a beautiful day here too. xx
Her phone pings with another message almost immediately, but Carmen doesn’t get a chance to check it as she sees a familiar figure coming down the path toward her.
Player spots her a second after she notices him.
“Red!” he shouts and starts sprinting her way.
She stands up, anticipating a collision, and unable to stop the smile that breaks out on her face. Player tackles her into a hug, knocking her hood off with the force, and squeezes her tightly.
“It’s so good to see you,” he says breathlessly.
She squeezes him back just as hard. “It’s good to see you too, Player.”
They stay like that for a minute and Carmen basks in the moment, feeling truly present in a way that’s uncommon for her lately.
(So of course, that means her brain has to go and ruin it almost immediately.)
Player pulls back to look up at her with a grin. Now that he’s directly in front of her, she can see he’s gotten taller since she saw him last.
How would you know that? a voice whispers in the back of her head. You’ve never seen him in person before.
Yes, I have, Carmen reminds herself furiously. I’ve been to Ontario once before. I met Player after he got out of school. We went to his favorite diner.
School?
Player’s been homeschooled his whole life; how would you have met him at school?
It’s just another lie. Just like everything else.
Pain lances through her head, making her wince.
“So, anything you want to do first?” Player asks, practically jumping in eagerness, not noticing right away that anything is wrong. “I’m so excited to finally be able to show you around.”
It’s something they used to dream about together, back when she was still stuck on Vile Island and had never been anywhere else in the world. Player would describe all the places he would take her if she ever made it to Niagara Falls, both the tourist-traps and the places he swore only locals knew about.
And Carmen knows it’s not real, but two different Players are suddenly warring in her brain. One: a little younger and a little smaller, with more youthful optimism in his eyes, and the version she knows is really there: older, taller, with signs on his face and in his eyes of all the struggles he had gone through recently.
She must close her eyes for a beat too long as she tries to get a hold of herself, because when she opens them again, Player’s smile is morphing into a concerned frown.
“Carmen? Are you okay?”
And oh, she’s got her palm pressed against her eye, trying to relieve the pressure there. So much for playing it off as just jetlag or something.
He knows about the migraines, and she knows that the rest of her team had filled him in on what normally helps versus what doesn’t before she had left, just in case.
“I’m okay,” she reassures him, meaning it. It’s only a headache right now, and she’s got her pills in her backpack, although she knows from experience that it’s a bad idea to take them on an empty stomach. “Think our first stop could be grabbing something to eat?”
Player stuffs his hands in his sweatshirt pockets and gives a small smile. “Of course, it can.”
Carmen follows his lead out of the park, pulling her hood back up. While the sun is out, it’s not an overly bright day, but the hood helps take away some of the strain from her eyes.
Player is silent, and she catches him throwing nervous glances her way, as if he’s not sure whether he should say something or if that will make it worse. She elbows him playfully, hoping to lighten the mood.
“Zack and Ivy are going to say ‘I told you so’ if I tell them the first thing that happened on my trip was me getting a headache,” she jokes, although she knows they absolutely will.
Player laughs, the tension leaving his shoulders. “Don’t worry, Red. It can be our secret. I think if we told them, Ivy would be booking the soonest flight out here just to drag you back to bed. Just promise you’ll tell me if it gets worse.”
Warmth fills her as she thinks about how much her friends care about her. It helps ground her. “I promise.”
Another thing that helps is that after a couple of blocks, Carmen recognizes the way they are heading, and knows exactly where Player’s taking her. It’s the proof her addled brain needs to confirm that she has in fact been here before.
She lets out a sigh of relief when they make it to the diner, and everything is exactly how she remembers it.
The relief doesn’t last long though.
The overhead fluorescent lights are harsh, and they send another spike of pain through her head as soon as she walks through the doors. She keeps her head down as she follows Player to a booth, but it doesn’t get any better after a few minutes like she’s hoping.
A waitress comes over to ask what they’d like to drink, and Player lets her know they’re ready to order as well. He asks for his go-to – burger and fries – but the sudden talk of food makes Carmen realize how queasy she suddenly is.
She has to try not to grimace when the waitress turns her way, knowing she needs to eat something. “I’ll just have a water and some fries. Thank you.”
Player frowns at her as the waitress walks away. “I thought you were hungry?”
“Not anymore.” She shrugs the backpack off her shoulders and slouches against the back of the booth, letting her eyes close. “I just need something in my stomach to take my meds. I’ll be fine after that.” I hope.
“Do you have your sunglasses in your bag?”
Carmen cracks open an eye. She should have known he’d clue into what the problem is. “Player, you’re a genius.”
Understatement of the century.
She’d forgotten about her sunglasses, an oversight that sends a little warning bell to her brain about how bad it’s already getting.
The glasses are an instant relief, one that helps her fully open her eyes, although she remains sprawled against the back of the booth for the moment. She can’t bring herself to move even as the waitress comes back over to give them their drinks and shoots a concerned look in her direction.
Player thanks her and Carmen shoots him a grateful smile when he reaches across the table to slide the water glass closer to her. Her hands are a little shaky as she reaches for it, so she wraps them around the cold glass to hide the trembling and takes some careful sips through the straw, hoping it will help settle her stomach some.
Their food arrives soon after, and Carmen takes a deep breath as she stares at the tray of fries. She figures she only needs to eat about half for it to be enough, and then she can take her pills. She divides the portion up by sliding half the fries over to one side and takes another breath. She can do this.
But first, “So, anything new going on?” she asks, noticing how Player’s fidgeting with his straw wrapper in one hand as he takes the first bite of his food.
“Hmm,” he hums before swallowing. “That you don’t already know about? Let’s see…” He purses his lips as he thinks. “Oh! Want to hear about the coding project I’m working on right now?”
“Yes.”
She smiles as Player’s entire face lights up.
He tells her all about it in between bites of his food. A lot of the technical details go over her head, but Carmen just lets his enthusiasm wash over her, distracting her mind from her own task of eating. Before she knows it, she looks down to find her designated portion finished, and she lets out an internal sigh of relief as she pulls the pill bottle out from her bag.
She swallows the pills back with another sip of water, and finally sits up. She already feels a little better, although she knows that’s from the food and not the medicine kicking in in a miraculous amount of time.
Player orders a milkshake for dessert, sipping it as Carmen finishes the rest of her fries, her appetite suddenly returning. The waitress walks by with a tray of food for another table, and she eyes it with longing before turning back to Player.
“Mind if I order something to go?”
They leave the restaurant about an hour after they arrive, Carmen with a takeout bag in hand and Player with another milkshake.
“So, what now, Red?” Player asks. “I get it if you just want to go back to the hotel and rest.”
As much as she doesn’t want to do that, she has to agree that it’s probably better to not push herself right now.
“That’s probably a good idea. The medicine usually makes me drowsy.” She kicks a pebble with the toe of her sneaker, sighing. “Sorry, I know I kind of put a damper on our plans for today.”
“Hey, c’mon,” Player gives her a nudge with his elbow, “You didn’t ruin anything. I’m just glad you’re okay. And besides, you’re here for a whole week, right? We’ve got time.”
Carmen lets the guilt lingering in the back of her mind vanish at the reassurance. She smiles. “Yeah, we do.”
“And I mean, if you’re up for it, I can come back with you. We could watch a movie or something. I brought my laptop,” Player adds, gesturing to the backpack he’s wearing. “Or ooh! We could finally introduce you to the world of video games! I bet we could get Zack in on it too!”
Carmen laughs, putting up her hands to concede. “All right, fine, I’ll let you drag me over to the dark side. Want to bet I can beat Zack in that racer game he’s always playing?”
Player shoots her a mischievous grin. “Sure. But do you think you can beat me?”
She raises an eyebrow, smirking at the challenge.
“Oh, it’s so on.”