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Penelope Featherington rushed and slammed herself in the small bathroom hidden under the stairs, trying to hold in the tears as she leant back against the now locked door. She clenched her hands into fists and looked up at the ceiling, hoping if she tilted her head back far enough it would stop the tears from falling. She felt like a complete and utter fool. What the hell was she thinking? Coming to a house party like this, without her best friend Eloise Bridgerton by her side, and expecting to just blend right in.
Penelope let out a breath she hadn’t realised she’d been holding and walked over to the mirror behind the sink, bracing herself for what she knew she would see. Her half up half down red hair and peachy pink camisole top stood out against the stark whiteness of the walls. But what really drew her attention was the dark mascara now running down her cheeks making her look like some sort of killer clown.
“Oh bloody hell,” she mumbled to herself.
Penelope rubbed her fingers across the stained black on her cheeks but it only smudged it and made it worse. She knew she should have bought that waterproof mascara her younger sister, Felicity, had recommended.
Letting out a sigh and giving up on the state of her face for the moment, Penelope searched her shoulder bag for her phone. The screen lit up once she unlocked it, not surprised that the only notification she had was a message from Eloise saying to ‘have fun!’; which Penelope now couldn’t help but snort at. She looked at the time, seeing it was only nearly eleven, and came to the conclusion it was time for her to leave. There was no point of her staying somewhere she really didn’t enjoy being and knew she wasn’t wanted. Clicking on the Uber app installed, she let out a groan of frustration when the alert “No Ubers available in the area” popped up on the screen. It was just her luck. Rummaging back through her bag she only found her lipstick, a pen, an old receipt, some loose change, and her neon green scrunchie, or ‘magic scrunchie’ as Eloise likes to call it. It really started to feel like the universe was trying to mock her.
Looking on Google Maps, Penelope had only just realised how far out of the city they had come. Her shoulders deflated even further when informed by her phone that it was an hour and a half walk home. She didn’t even have enough money on her to call for an actual taxi.
Knowing that she no longer had any other choice, she scrolled through her contacts until she landed on the name ‘ Benedict (My Favourite Bridgerton)’. Despite her current situation, she felt the corners of her mouth curve into an almost smile at the memory of him inputting his contact information into her phone, making Eloise insistently groan at her older brother stating ‘ he was most certainly not her favourite Bridgerton’. Penelope and Benedict had become close friends when he had asked - no, begged - to paint her for an art collection he was working on and she could never deny any of the Bridgerton family members anything, not after all they had done for her. So they had ended up spending several hours with each other, as Benedict sketched and painted her in his own studio, and bonded over the simple and complex matters life could throw at you. She was one of the first people he told about his relationship with Henry Granville, coming out as bisexual, whilst she finally told him why she spends way more time at their home instead of her own. She knew they all had a brief understanding as to why she’s not as close to her family, excluding her younger sister Felicity, but only Eloise truly knew the emotional harrowing details up until then.
Reaching for some toilet roll, Penelope blew her nose and let out a loud sniff to try and even out her voice before dialling the number. It only rang a few times before there was an answer.
“Pen, hi!” It sounded noisey on the other end, music blasting and people shouting trying to be heard over the beat.
“Benedict, hi, I’m sorry-” she began but got cut off.
“It’s not Benedict, it’s Colin!”
Penelope’s heart started to beat double time and the butterflies in her stomach were released from their net as she clearly recognised the distinct voice of the third Bridgerton brother. She pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at the screen, making sure she had definitely dialled the correct number.
“Benedict is currently up on the stage, pissed off his nut, holding up a just as drunk Anthony as they sing a beautiful rendition of Copacabana,” Colin chuckled down the phone, clearly amused at the sight before him.
“Ah shit to the shit,” Penelope couldn’t stop herself from uttering out loud. Her voice breaking on the last ‘shit’ as the tears started to threaten to fall again.
She had completely forgotten it was Antony’s bachelor party tonight, his wedding to Kate in a few weeks time that Penelope still needed to get a dress for. Benedict must have left his phone on the table when she called and as it was her calling it was no surprise Colin chose to pick it up.
“Penelope? What is it? Are you okay?” He sounded more alert now and Penelope inwardly cursed at herself for not holding her tongue.
“I’m fine,” but even if she said it her voice cracked again, making her sound even less convincing, “I’m sorry to have bothered you, enjoy the rest of your night.”
Before she could hang up he shouted, “No wait! Hang on.”
Penelope heard some shuffling on the other end, the phone away from his ear as he maneuvered through the crowd. This would have been the perfect time for her to have hung up, he wasn’t even talking for christ’s sake. But she couldn’t bring herself too, she never did have any self control when it came to Colin, she had been in love with him since their first ever meeting after all.
Eloise and Penelope had been walking home from school at the time, both aged twelve and wearing the hats of their private school uniform; it was Penelope’s first ever invitation to the Bridgerton household to spend the night for a sleepover. They’d just been talking when a gust of wind blew into them, whisking Penelope’s hat off of her untamed red head and making it fly behind them. Both Eloise and she had let out a loud squeal and turned to chase it when it landed squarely in the face of a teenage boy, about 5 years their senior, who was cycling home. With his vision impaired he lost control of the bike, the front wheel hitting the curb of the pavement, and he flew from the seat and onto the floor into a grassy muddy puddle that had formed the night before. Penelope was absolutely mortified as she ran to the boy's aid and she waited for his anger and for him to take out his embarrassment on her. But instead she was met with the utmost joyous laughter as if what just happened was the funniest thing in the world. Then once he pulled the hat away, his green eyes met her blue ones and his cheeky smile took over his face; Penelope was instantly smitten and left speechless. Eloise had broken the moment of Penelope’s new found feelings and introduced the boy as her older brother Colin. The handsome and charming boy stood up from the ground, not even an ounce of humiliation in his bones, and smiled before exclaiming: “You must be the famous Penelope my sister just won’t shut up about!”
On the other end of the phone, Penelope heard a door close and it bought herself out of her day dream of the past. The background music dropped to a dull hum and she’d concluded that Colin must have gone outside.
“Are you okay Penelope?” The concern in Colin’s voice was enough for her barrier to break and the tears started to fall freely, subconsciously letting out a loud sniff that she’ll most likely be embarrassed for tomorrow.
“I’m at this stupid party and-” Her stupid boyfriend was a jerk? People are arseholes? “-and I can’t get an Uber and I have no money for a taxi.”
“Stay where you are. Send your location to my phone number and I will come and get you.”
“No, Colin, Anthony’s bachelor party-”
“I pulled the short straw and ended up being designated driver. I’ll come and get you ok?”
Penelope answered in a nod, even though she knew he couldn’t see her, left speechless at his determination. Pulling her phone away from her ear she sent her current map location to his number, which he had also saved in her phone as Colin (My Real Favourite Bridgerton).
He must have had his phone out as he let out a sound of affirmation, “I’ll be there in 20 mins, hold tight Pen.” Then before she could answer, he had hung up.
Penelope slowly lowered the phone from her ear, slightly stunned at the conversation that had just happened. Colin, her childhood crush (that is not so childhood anymore), was going to pick her up. She looked back into the mirror and swore once again as she was reminded of the reality of her current situation. She ran the cold tap and lightly splashed her cheeks, hoping it would soften the puffiness from her crying, and then grabbed a tissue to wipe away the dregs of leftover mascara. Even with the smudged make up now gone the evidence of her breakdown just a few minutes before was still very much present. Quite frankly she looked a mess but there was nothing she could do about it now.
The universe was definitely mocking her.
After Colin hung up the phone he wasted no time in going back into the bar and letting his brothers know that Penelope needed a lift, he left out the part of her crying as he didn’t want to cause concern, and handed Benedict back his phone. Both of them were understandable, Penelope was a dear friend to all of the family, and he promised he would be back before the night was even over. Which, knowing his brothers, that would still be for a few hours yet.
Just as Colin had predicted it took him just over twenty minutes for him to arrive at the location Penelope had sent him. He knew the area well, it was a popular area for large student house parties. Many of the students used their parent’s houses to throw wild ragers whilst they would go away on holiday or business trips. He’d been to many himself when he first started university, before he’d given up with his studies and dropped out, it even became the highlight of his time there. Which is why he was surprised someone like Penelope was there, it didn’t seem like hers or Eloise’s scene at all. He knew they both liked to party, now that they were both nineteen, they had joined them all on nights out and to the pub. The both of them called also be found on the dance floor wherever they go, including the stupid high society functions and galas their families insisted they go to. However, these university house parties were nothing like these outings, they were rowdy and cliquey and would quite often end with two idiots having a fight in the front garden over nothing in particular, it was just all fuelled by alcohol and morons.
Colin’s grip tightened on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning ghostly white, as he remembered the sound of her voice breaking on the phone. He mentally prayed that she was okay, he had never heard her sound so broken before. He’d always associated Penelope with laughter and smiles, so hearing this contrast set an uneasy feeling in his stomach.
It was obvious which house was the one with the party as music rumbled out and there were scattered teenagers in the front garden and porch. There were some flashy expensive cars parked outside, probably brought to show off and impress people, and Colin couldn’t stop his eyes from rolling knowing that some drunken idiots would try and drive home.
Parking on the other side of the road, Colin wasted no time in rushing up to the house his mind already set on the search for the short redheaded girl. The front door was left slightly ajar, allowing guests to flow around the house and come and go as they want. As he entered the heat from all the people inside hit Colin like the warmth in a foreign country when you step off a plane on holiday. He walked around the downstairs rooms, his green eyes scanning the crowd as he manoeuvred around all the groups of people but he couldn’t spot Penelope anywhere. Standing at the bottom of the stairs, he pulled out his phone and started to call her hoping that she would be able to hear him over the music. Just as she answered the door under the stairs, which he assumed had been a bathroom, opened and out came the girl he had been searching for.
“Pen!” he called her familiar nickname and her eyes finally met his.
He hurried towards her and found his eyes scanning her from top to bottom to make sure she was okay, which made her turn a light shade of red. Her eyes were slightly puffy and her skin and cheeks were pinched in pink which confirmed to him that she had been furiously wiping away her tears when on the call to him.
“Are you okay?” he clenched his jaw and took hold of her upper arms, rubbing them up and down in a soothing gesture.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she tried for a smile but it felt pitiful as both of them knew she was lying, “Let’s just go.”
His eyes scanned her face for another moment before nodding his head and taking hold of her elbow to guide her out of the house. However, before they got far a person bumped into them, specifically knocking into Penelope and grunted: “watch it, piggy.”
Colin had never turned around so quickly, his eyes looking for the arsehole that just spoke to her that way. His hands immediately turned into fists as he felt an anger take over him that he’d never felt before.
“Come on,” Penelope started as she grabbed his arm and nudged him to leave again, her eyes not quite able to meet his own.
They didn’t get very far again before they were interrupted by another person, this being someone both Colin and Penelope already knew; Cressida Cowper. His eyes narrowed at the young blonde woman in front of him, used to seeing her at the elite functions held by their families. Her undeniable beauty so easily tainted by her unsavoury and foul personality, often belittling people just to lift herself up. Penelope became one of her main targets at these events and now it seemed in their private life as well.
“Oh god Penelope, have you looked in the mirror? Oh wait that’s probably what caused the tears -” snarked Cressida, the group of people around them letting out a chuckle.
Colin responded with a groan knowing he would have to be careful with his next words. The Bridgerton’s and Cowper’s had a history of doing business together, it was one of the most vital business connections for Bridgerton Blue Solicitors, the family business that Antony inherited after their father passed away. One wrong word and she would go running to her father but that wasn’t going to stop Colin defending one of his friends. Before he could speak up, a dark curly haired boy was nudging his way through the crowd towards them, his dark eyes focused on Penelope.
“Penny, please let me explain,” the boy spoke and Colin couldn’t help but frown at the uncommon nickname the boy gave Penelope.
Colin glanced down at the girl beside him, trying to gage her reaction to this boy before them. They were clearly familiar as she let go of his arm as the boy drew closer to them.
“No, Declan, we’re done. I’m leaving.”
Her voice was like steel and full of defiance, nothing like it had been on the phone. Colin couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth twitching up in approval, he’d never seen this side of Penelope before. He retook her elbow, giving it a squeeze of reassurance, and started to move again when Declan’s voice followed after them.
“It wasn’t even me that said it,” Colin and Penelope didn’t stop moving so Declan kept following, “Fine, whatever. Be a dramatic bitch then.”
At that Colin whirled back around and into the face of the boy about four years his junior.
“What did you just call her?” He’d demanded as he towered over him, easily having another two inches in height on him.
Declan faltered for a moment, his mouth gaping open as he looked up into Colin’s now thunderous eyes. Colin felt a small tug on his arm and he turned to look down at Penelope who started up at him with pleading eyes.
“Please can we just go?”
The desperation in her voice made the angry tension in his body relax slightly and he went to nod his head in agreement, not wanting to deny her anything, before stopping himself. How can she want to leave without saying something to that arsehole? This moment of reprieve gave the boy in question a moment to slink away back into the crowded room, obviously deciding this was not a fight worth having.
“Who was that?” He found himself asking, his curiosity getting the better of him.
She let out a little sigh, “My boyfriend. Well, my now ex-boyfriend.”
Colin couldn’t explain the relief he felt when she stated that the prick was now her ex-boyfriend. She deserved way better than someone who talked to her that way. He didn’t even know the full situation of what went down earlier tonight but whatever it was it clearly upset Penelope, and that was enough in his book to teach this arsehole a lesson. What he’d wanted to do was punch the boy in the face but he could already see the mortification on Penelope’s face and the last thing he wanted to do was upset her further. Before he knew it a plan quickly formed in his mind.
“Did you guys drive here?”
Her brows scrunched adorably at his question that seemed to come out of the blue.
“Er, yes? Why?”
“Go outside and wait by his car, I’ll be out in a sec.”
Before she could query him further he walked away and into the kitchen, already knowing where it was from his earlier scan around. There were several people standing in groups but they were all so deep in their conversations that they paid Colin no mind whilst he rudely rummaged through the cupboards. Spotting a box of eggs he was looking for he let out a small triumphant hum as he opened the lid to see all twelve eggs were still in there untouched. Taking the box he walked back through the house, thankfully not being stopped this time by Cressida or Declan; otherwise he doesn’t think he’d be able to hold back.
Finally outside, Colin took in a deep breath of the fresh air, a slight breeze brushed his skin and cooled him down. He saw Penelope standing by a smart silver car, one of the ones he noticed earlier, and made his way over. It wasn’t particularly cold, the season now far into Spring, but she’d wrapped her arms around herself as if to try and provide some comfort. He offered her one of his charming smiles, which she usually couldn’t help and smile back to, but was only met with a slight upturn of her lips.
“What are you up to?” She questioned him and narrowed her eyes.
“Here, my lady,” he opened up the box of eggs and presented them to her with a flare of his arm and bowing his head as if she was royalty.
Her eyes widened in shock and jumped from the eggs to Declan’s car, understanding Colin’s motive.
“I can’t,” she started but he saw a playful tint overtake the embarrassment in her eyes. He knew she wouldn’t take that much convincing.
“Course you can,” he pulled one of the eggs from the box and placed it in her palm, “Besides, it’s either egg his car or I go back in there and beat him to a pulp.” He said it so flippantly that it took her by surprise, her mouth gaping open slightly and a small chuckle escaping her lips. His heart soared as he slowly started to see the cheery Penelope he’s used to witnessing around his family begin to peak through.
“So what you’re saying is by egging his car I’m really doing him a favour?” The tone in her voice was now high-spirited and teasing.
“Oh, definitely.”
Before he even finished his sentence she’d taken the egg he’d put in her hand and smashed it on the silver car before them. He’d let out a cheer of encouragement as she erupted into laughter and utmost joy with each egg she threw. One landed on the roof, another the window, a third smashed onto the bonnet and so forth. Despite the hilarious vandalisation of the car in front of him, he couldn’t draw his eyes away from the girl causing the mess. She practically danced around the car with each egg she threw and her peachy skin glowed in the moonlight. Her hair was becoming untamed causing a few locks to fall from her half up half down do and frame her face. This highlighted the bright blue of her eyes as they turned to meet his after each throw to seek for his approval. It wasn’t long until she was out of eggs and was left standing before him, her chest rising up and down with deep breaths, eyeing up her masterpiece of destruction. He wanted to praise her triumph but he felt truly lost for words. So they stayed in silence with each other for a few moments, taking in the night air and each other’s presence.
“Come on, I’ll take you home,” his voice sounded strange to his ears, as if it interrupted a moment it really didn’t want to break.
Penelope nodded and allowed him to nudge her slightly towards his car, her mind obviously elsewhere.
They’d been driving for ten minutes in silence. It wasn’t awkward but it wasn’t comfortable either, it was somewhere in between, and in that moment Colin realised he and Penelope had never been alone like this together before. Their interactions had always been within the confines of large gatherings, which were usually full of Bridgerton’s. He recognised he had always enjoyed her company, she was fun and once she was comfortable with you, which Colin counts himself as among those few, she would stop holding back the quick wit she has. He’d often danced with her at the ridiculous elite functions they were expected to go to and even though he’d been prompted by his mother to do so, that didn’t mean it felt like a chore. He’d quite enjoyed her grateful smile that she'd shoot him, or one of his brother’s ways, as they led her onto the dance floor from the sidelines where she often stood being the faultless wallflower. At the end of the day, Penelope had just always been there and it made him ashamed to admit that he was so used to it he never consciously registered her presence before. But what he did know right now was that he wanted to make her smile and laugh again.
Colin kept glancing over to her and could tell her mind was a million miles away as she stared out his car window at the scenery rolling by. He felt like he had a thousand questions that he wanted to ask her: what had happened earlier on in the night? Where was Eloise? Why did she call Benedict? More specifically, who was this Declan? His mind was all over the place as he tried to focus on the road, and if his thoughts were all erratic like this then he dread to think what was currently running through her mind.
Then a big bright yellow ‘M’ sign came into view, as if it was his holy grail, and he immediately perked up.
“McDonalds!” He exclaimed with joy, “Thank god I’m starving!”
He slowed down the car and indicated into the drive through of the fast food restaurant.
“You’re always starving.” Penelope quipped as she finally turned to him for the first time since they got in the car.
“Yeah well I am a growing boy,” he puffed out his chest like he was a proud twelve year old. The reaction he got was the exact one he aimed for as she let out a laugh that rang in his ears.
“Colin, you’re twenty four.” She managed to get out before he told her to shush and rolled down the window to start talking to the server.
He’d ordered a Big Mac, large fries and a chocolate milkshake for himself and just large fries and a strawberry milkshake for Penelope. He drove out of the drive through and into the car park, reversing into a space that looked out onto the road. Before she could start eating he got out of the car and urged Penelope to follow him. The night air was still tepid, the fresh breeze still gracing their skin, and there was not a cloud in sight as the stars shone above them. Popping his car boot open he sat down on the ledge, creating the perfect bench for them both, and patted the space next to him for Penelope to sit. She followed him but had to hop up slightly, her height not giving her the purchase she needed, and sat with her feet dangling off the ground. Colin looked down at her feet as they lightly swayed in the air absentmindedly and couldn’t help his amusement at their height difference. To distract himself he quickly tucked into his burger, which didn’t last long as he took several large bites, he truly had been starving.
Penelope popped one of her french fries in her mouth and let out a groan, “It just doesn’t get better than freshly cooked fries does it? The potato is just the ultimate food. I think I could just live off potato for the rest of my life.”
He hummed in agreement as he then started on his fries himself, letting out a similar groan that Penelope had done when she had taken her first bite. Then a grin took over his face, smiling like a child at Christmas, as he took off the lid from his chocolate milkshake and dipped one of his fries into the creamy mix. He looked up at Penelope who was smiling at him in amusement, her eyebrows raised slightly in question.
“We used to do this all the time when we were kids,” he supplied before popping the coated chip into his mouth, “Mmm and it’s still just as good. Go on, try it.” He nudged her foot with his own as she shook her head but the smile didn’t wipe from her face.
“Honestly, you Bridgerton’s are another breed.” However, despite her words she took off the lid on her strawberry milkshake and dipped the french fry in before popping it into her mouth. Colin’s smile got wider as the look of surprise took over Penelope’s face. “You know what, that’s not half bad,” she admitted before doing the same again with another fry.
They went back to companionable silence as they ate, dipping their fries into their shakes, their eyes scanning the empty road before them. Colin finished his fries first, which was no surprise to either of them, as food never lasted long when he was around, and cleared his throat to get Penelope’s attention.
“Where was Eloise tonight?” He started off with one of the easier questions he pondered the answer to.
“She had a date with Margery, I think things are going well between them,” She smiled wistfully at the thought of her best friend finally being happy in a relationship.
Colin felt himself beam at the fondness in her voice. He’d heard about Margery a few times in passing from his younger sister but she never divulged too many details as she didn’t want to ‘jinx it’.
“So you decided to go by yourself?”
He’d never seen Eloise and Penelope without the other, they’d been joined at the hip since she first bought Pen home when they were only twelve years old. Where one was the other would never be too far away, it was no surprise when they decided to move in together after both getting into the same university. But Colin cursed at himself mentally for his question, somehow realising for the first time that they weren’t kids anymore and of course Eloise and Penelope lived separate lives.
“No, I came with Declan, we’d been seeing each other for a few months. He was nice,” Colin couldn’t help but notice her emphasis on the ‘was’, “I just wanted to step out of my comfort zone you know and a party like that is definitely not my usual form of entertainment. Isn’t that what being a University student is all about; trying new things? I thought it might be fun but…” Her voice trailed off and she shook her head, stopping herself from saying more.
“What happened, Pen?” Without realising his voice had lowered and rumbled in the back of his throat.
He watched Penelope as she swallowed, her eyes darting to his before looking away again, “I didn’t really belong there, people kept glancing at me when they thought I wasn’t looking and whispering when Declan held my hand or touched me. Cressida deliberately making remarks to others in the room to make me uncomfortable. So I left his group of friends to go get another drink and when I came back they were all joking about me. Asking him what he was doing with a fatty like me.”
Colin saw the tears slowly gloss over her eyes again as she was reliving the tale. He reached forward, whispering her name, and reached for her hand but she stopped him.
“It’s not the comments that bother me, I’ve been dealing with that all my life. It was the fact that Declan just laughed about it with them. Someone who was supposed to like me, who claimed to have feelings for me, just stood by and didn’t say a thing to defend me.”
“You deserve so much more than that Penelope.” It fell out of his mouth before he had even processed it.
She let out a large sigh as if she had been holding it in all night, her shoulders slumping slightly in the process.
“I mean it, Pen. You deserve someone who worships the ground you walk on, who is proud to stand by your side and who isn’t afraid to defend you, who-” his rambling was interrupted by her laughter.
“I know. I know. Hence why I called him my now ex-boyfriend, remember?” She lifted her chin up with defiance, “I’m not going to waste my time on arseholes like him.”
A joy washed over Colin that he had never felt before, it hit him like a wave crashing to the shore; so sudden that he couldn’t completely comprehend what had caused it.
“Good.”
Penelope tried to hide the blush and flutter of glee that seemed to take over her whole body at the sound of his determined “Good.”
The truth was, Penelope was trying to believe all those things that he said she deserved. She wanted to believe them but the self-doubt that has been ingrained within her for years can be more persevering. However, she was working on it and was slowly getting there with each day. Hearing Colin, the man she has had a crush on - no, has loved -since childhood, say all of those things makes her heart full with self assurance. But one thing she did know with assertiveness was that she had a right to experience happiness and Declan definitely did not make her happy.
“It’s frustrating isn’t it, how most people seem to find someone at uni? Your mum had met your father whilst at university, Philippa met Nigel…” Colin’s eyes scanned her as she barely mentioned her older sister, “and Antony had met Kate during their final year, I mean it might have taken them awhile but they’ve got there and now they’re getting married in just a few weeks.” She couldn’t help but smile wistfully thinking of the happy couple and hoping that one day she would have the same.
“Well I wouldn’t say most people have that luck…” he sighed as his shoulders tensed, bringing Penelope out of her musings, “It definitely wasn’t like that for me.”
“Oh, shit I’m sorry Colin,” and she immediately regretted herself and her big mouth.
She was such a hopeless romantic that she didn’t even consider the other end of the spectrum; the heartbreak. Colin had met a beautiful young girl, named Marina Thompson, whilst he was studying at university and everyone could see how enraptured with her he was. He’d even introduced her to the family, which meant Penelope had also met her on those occasions - which is also where she experienced her first heartbreak. The kind of heartbreak where it feels like your stomach drops to the centre of the earth and your lungs fill with pressure so you can’t breathe. Penelope knew herself and Colin would never be, and she wasn’t even going to fool herself with the notions of it, but that didn’t mean seeing him with someone else didn’t hurt. Then she saw how happy Marina had made Colin and that’s all what she'd ever wanted for him to be. She couldn’t even bring herself to dislike Marina, the girl had been caring and kind. Kind until it turned out she cheated on Colin with a past boyfriend, eventually going back to him, and leaving Colin heartbroken. He’d dropped out of university just a few months later.
“It’s okay, it was like two years ago now,” He wouldn’t quite meet her eyes though, “it is what it is.”
Penelope nodded as she knew exactly what he meant, some things aren’t meant to be, just like how Colin would never look at her the way he had Marina. The silence surrounded them once more. Penelope looked down at the fast food box in her hands, just realising that she still had some fries left that she had forgotten about. Before she could finish tucking into them, Colin spoke again.
“I didn’t drop out of university because of Marina.”
She turned to Colin suddenly, her mouth formed the perfect ‘oh’, completely taken by surprise by the turn of conversation. They had never had such a serious tone in their confabs before, always keeping it light hearted and fun when in each other’s presence. Colin was known for his charm and putting people at ease, seeing this side of him made Penelope realise there was so much more to the man she claimed to love before her. He was sitting right on the edge of the boot now, his back stiff and no longer relaxed like before.
“I know Lady Whistledown wrote saying how I dropped out because I had my heartbroken…”
Penelope nodded again, too afraid to speak and break this moment. Of course she remembers what Lady Whistledown had written, she was Lady Whistledown afterall (even though no one knew she was the true woman behind the facade). She’d started the anonymous online gossip column, focusing on the upper classes of society and their way of life, for Monarch Magazine when she was just sixteen. A work colleague of her father had come across some of her writing when she’d left it in his office by mistake, she’d only written it to vent after another horrible function they had to attend, and he’d found it bold and hilariously original. He had contacts with the editor of Monarch Magazine and just like that the rest was history.
“Well, everyone focused on the heartbreak bit but no one seemed to remember what else she said -”
“That something else was probably going on?” Penelope finally found her voice.
Colin turned at the sudden sound of her voice and their eyes met, neither one daring to look away from each other, “You remember?”
His bafflement made her smile, he seemed shocked that she'd paid attention. But that’s just the thing; she’d always paid attention to him but he’d never paid much mind to her.
“Of course I do,” and she nudged her foot into his calf, trying to bring back some lightness to their conversation, “I also remember that you never seemed truly happy.”
Colin couldn’t tear his gaze away from Penelope, she just hadn’t stopped astonishing him tonight. But the most shocking thing was he realised he shouldn’t be as surprised as he slowly began to remember that she was there through it all. He’d never been fully aware of her until now, looking back on those moments with new eyes, and finally noticing that she had been there on the sidelines witnessing it all.
He let out a sigh and relaxed again as if a weight was finally off of his shoulders with the admission, “It’s true, I was studying Law for christ’s sake. Me?! Law?!”
He said it with such disdain that Penelope let out a chuckle which in turn caused him to chuckle with her.
“I mean what was I thinking? I’m not a Law person. I only chose to study it because I had no idea what else to do and well because of my father…” his voice trailed off as he felt like he didn’t need to say anymore on the matter.
Edmund Bridgerton had studied Law at university, graduating with a First and eventually starting up his own business, and that was what influenced Colin to do the same. Anthony had taken over as CEO at Bridgerton Blue Solicitors after the passing of their father and Colin knew that his older brother had hoped Benedict would join him. But when Benedict wanted to follow his passion in art, the hope had then fallen onto Colin. He didn’t mind, if anything he felt it gave him a sense of purpose, and besides it wasn’t like he had anything else to do.
“I tried to stick it out, I really had and I hate that I let Antony down but my heart just wasn’t in it you know?”
Penelope reached forward and squeezed his hand in a comforting gesture, “I know.”
He looked from her hand up into her crystal blue eyes and he just knew that she truly did understand. There was something about being in her comforting presence, and perhaps her being sincere with him earlier, that made him want to be just as honest with her.
“I can’t believe that was two years ago now and I still don’t know what to do with my life.”
“You’re only twenty four Colin, you don’t need to have it all figured out.” She’d let go of his hand and had reached back into the carton of fries again, even though they’d probably gone slightly cold by now.
He internally laughed at the juxtaposition of the conversation he and Pen had earlier that involved him being a ‘growing boy’ when in reality he was twenty four and already considered fully grown.
“I know but I thought I’d have more of an idea of what I would want to do by now.” It was refreshing saying all of this outloud to someone, especially as he had been thinking about it for such a long time.
“Why don’t you just take some time away for yourself? Go travelling, see what else is out there.” She said so casually as if it was that easy.
Yet again, she startled him with an attentiveness he never realised she had paid him; when he was younger he had always spoken about travel and had been most enthusiastic during his Geography lessons at school. Going travelling was something that had crossed his mind before but there was always something holding him back: the family business, university, Marina, his siblings getting married etc.
“I’ve thought about it but it’s just not that simple.”
“It can be that simple though. You have more than enough money, you’re a man so there’s less of a safety issue and you have no other current obligations.”
He wanted to argue back, he’d never heard her sound so abrupt and matter of fact, but he knew there was truth behind her words.
“But I can’t just leave everyone…” He admitted but even to his own ears it sounded like a pathetic excuse.
“I’m not saying it won’t be hard but with phones and everything it’ll be so easy to stay in touch with everyone.”
Colin contemplated this in his mind for only a few moments before he finally accepted there was nothing here holding him back anymore. He knew he would miss home but he was currently using that as an excuse because, if he was being honest, he was scared. But that shouldn’t stop him from doing something, if anything it should be more of a reason to do it. Just like Penelope, maybe he should go out of his comfort zone for once and even if it doesn’t work out like he hopes, he would still have learnt something new about himself.
“I’m just saying,” she carried on as he hadn’t responded, “you shouldn’t write it off.”
Then, in a brave move, with one of her last french fries she reached across and dunked it into Colin’s now slightly melted chocolate milkshake. It bought his mind out of the sink hole he had sunken into, for which he was grateful for, and laughed in surprise. She popped the chip in her mouth and scrunched up her nose.
“Strawberry is definitely better,” she chimed as she licked the salt and shake off her fingers, his eyes following the motion willingly.
“Penelope Featherington you’re lucky you are you, I never share my food with just anyone.” He felt the same wave of joy overcome him, as he did talking to her earlier, at the way she blushed from his words.
She held out the carton of french fries towards him for him to take the very last one, “Make it even?”
He took the fry from the box and smiled charmingly at her before reaching across and dunking it in her milkshake instead of his own. Penelope’s mouth startled open as he finished chewing, her eyebrow arched and a curious glint in her eye showed she was waiting for his verdict.
“Damn you’re right, strawberry is better.”
He stood up from the car and picked up all their rubbish to throw into the nearby bin. He headed back over to see Penelope trying to reach up and close the boot, her fingers so close to the edge but just missing it. He walked up behind her, her body heat so close it melded with his own, and closed the boot with ease.
“Come on, let’s get you home.”
It was only another fifteen minutes till they had pulled up outside Penelope’s and Eloise’s current home. All the lights were off which meant Eloise was still out, or even possibly not coming home at all tonight.
“Well that date must have gone really well,” Colin remarked with laughter, “You’ll be okay?”
“Yeah I’ll be fine,” She said as she undid her seatbelt and gathered her things, making sure she had her keys at the ready and her phone. “Hey, can you do me a favour?”
“No I won’t be your personal chauffeur,” he joked just to make her laugh one more time.
“Dammit, you saw through my cunning plan.” She quipped just as quickly back. She looked down and twiddled her thumbs for a moment, “Can you not mention tonight to anyone? Especially Eloise, I don’t want her to go on a rampage against everyone at the party.”
Colin nodded, “Of course, it stays just between us.”
He knew that it went unsaid that that included everything they had spoken about tonight. A smile graced Penelope’s face once more as she opened the car door, “Thank you, Colin. For everything.”
She went to step out of the car but Colin stopped her, “Hey, Pen?”
She hummed in curiosity as a response, one foot on the pavement and looking over her shoulder at him waiting for him to speak further.
“If I hadn’t answered Benedict’s phone tonight, would you have called me next to come get you?”
Her brow furrowed at his question, clearly not expecting this query from him. She was silent in contemplation for a few beats longer than he liked and for the first time in a long time he felt self conscious. He was about to tell her to not worry about it, it was a silly question anyway, when she finally licked her lips and looked back into his eyes.
“Yes, of course.” Her voice was so soft it felt like it pillowed against the air.
He nodded once at her, acknowledging her answer but not one hundred percent sure he fully believed it. Whether it was the truth or not he didn’t really care, he was just glad that it had ended up being him.
“Goodnight, Colin.”
“Goodnight, Pen.”
Then just like that she was gone, the car left in silence after the door closed. He sat and watched her walk up the brick pathway to the front door, hoping that she would look back.
His train of thought was interrupted by his phone going off. He looked down at the screen at a message from Benedict, who had texted over the location of the new bar they had moved onto. Colin responded that he was on his way and put his phone down, completely missing the last glance she threw his way as she went inside. He turned his car back on, the engine coming back to life, and peered up at the building again, hoping to catch one last glimpse of her, but Penelope was gone. A light flickered on at one of the windows which prompted Colin to drive off, knowing that she was safe and sound inside.
His lips couldn’t resist the smile that ached to take over his face as he thought about what had transpired tonight. There was certainly more that met the eye when it came to Penelope Featherington.
Penelope collapsed onto her bed and felt her body relax into the mattress below her, the exhaustion of the night finally hitting her. If anything, she was glad Eloise was still out so she could have some time to herself and recall the night's events. Overall, she was glad she went out of her comfort zone as it gave her a night she never thought she’d experience.
Colin’s last question to her had completely taken her by surprise. In all honesty she hadn’t really had a plan if Benedict hadn’t answered, he’d always been there for her, but the next port of call would have probably been Anthony. The thing was she wouldn’t have wanted Colin to have seen her that way, the younger her would have been mortified in embarrassment if she knew what had transpired; Colin finding her with a tearstained face at a party where she had been ridiculed. But she was now glad that it was him and she wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.
Colin had been open and honest with her about things, as she had been with him, and their friendship had now developed from surface level to a new profound understandment. Which warmed her to her bones as, even though she had accepted he’d never return her deeper feelings, she’d rather have him as her friend than not in her life at all.
And in a few weeks time, at Anthony’s and Kate’s wedding, when he seeks her out and pulls her aside to tell her that he’s leaving in a couple of days to go travelling she responds with utmost joy. On the inside her heart may shatter at the idea of not seeing him around anymore but it doesn’t take away from the rapture that radiates through her at his excitement for his new journey.