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To Be Close ~

Summary:

With pursed lips Ventus is visibly conflicted, but he decides to ask in the end anyway, feeling as if he were to drop it now it could potentially leave an uncomfortableness between them. Which is what he didn't want. Besides, it wasn't that big of a thingy anyway right? So he asked.

"Could I-..could I sit on your lap?"

Notes:

This story is kinda loosely related to my previous story “Nights Like These”, in that it references that these two have already been kissing and such, and since I gave a bit of backstory about that in that story, I left it out here.
乁| ・ 〰 ・ |ㄏ

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

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Unlike many of their usual nights, tonight was actually quite uplifting! It had been a good day. Training wasn't too long or difficult. Terra and Aqua treated Ven and Vanitas to ice cream (which Vanitas always counts as a plus when he doesn’t have to spend his own money.), and they were able to rest from duties early! To top it off -at least for Ventus- Vanitas had managed to somehow keep the degrading insults to a minimum. Yeah, that definitely made Ventus’ day better. Vanitas would surprisingly, -silently- agree. That being the case, Ventus felt like they had actually gotten along today, and despite being full of negativity, even Vanitas felt a small sense of contentment about the day.

The two were in their room, putting away their things, waiting in anticipation for dinner as anyone in the castle could smell the delicious meal Aqua was preparing.

          Vanitas flopped himself on the bed to embrace whatever laziness he could till he had to get up for dinner. Ventus was messaging Sora and talking about how great of a day he had!
The atmosphere was pretty quiet. The sound of wind chimes could be heard softly clinging from a bit of distance away, and a gentle luminous light nestled itself on the surfaces of their room. Light taps coming from speedy fingers typing away on a gumi phone could be heard, accompanied by a very smiley Ventus.

Vanitas had his eyes closed, hand plastered over his face, as if he were stressed, but that was not the case. He was simply just resting. Actually -somewhat- relaxing for once. Perhaps taking in the good day he had? Ventus hoped as he occasionally glanced up from his phone to look at Vanitas. Though Ventus was talking to Sora about his great day and all the little things that happened, he was especially excited to tell him about his day with Vanitas. He was realizing just how glad he was that they actually got along! He wondered if Sora could feel his excitement through the phone, although he doubted he could ever convey how happy he was feeling about it. It wasn't THAT good of a day with him, but they didn't get into any arguments, and actually held a few decent conversations! Ventus even saw him smile more than once in a day -or in months, but who's counting?-. As Ventus was typing away and reminiscing, he couldn't help but keep looking up at the one who was sprawled out on the bed. Ventus wondered if Vanitas really did enjoy his day with him just as much as he did; and after talking about it with Sora, Ventus couldn't deny this had been one of his favorite days, and really looked forward to there being more just like them.

-
Sora: Sounds like you two really had a good day! I told you to give it time, and he'll start opening up a bit more in no time! :)

Ventus: Ya, you're right. Thanks Sora! I really appreciate the encouragement you've been giving me!

Sora: No problem! Let me know how everything goes tomorrow :) And if you wanna talk sooner, you know I'm here! <3

Ventus: Sure thing!
-

As Ventus wrapped up his conversation, he glanced up at Vanitas again and noticed that it seemed like he hadn't really moved much, other than some shallow breathing. He looked...asleep? Ventus decided to let him rest and thought he would go assist Aqua with cooking.

He was about to exit the room when he paused, he couldn't help but wanting to ask.

"Hey Vanitas? Did you have a good day?"

Silence. Maybe he was asleep. Ventus gave a small smile and turned again to leave the room, but a voice spoke up before he could.

"It was alright." Vanitas replied with a voice as monotone as it could be. "Just like any other day." He remained quiet for a moment then followed up with his own question. "Did you?"

"Ya! I did!" Ventus replied back a little more excitedly than he anticipated he would. He couldn't help but think Vanitas didn't feel like it was 'just like any other day'. Ventus could see throughout the day Vanitas was slightly different. Still his angry and bitter self, but there was something there that gave Ventus the impression that today wasn't just like any other day. A quiet but intrigued voice spoke up again.

"What made it a good day for you?" The dark haired boy asked, still keeping a hand over his face. Seemingly trying to sound interested, but sarcasm was definitely more prevalent.

A million and one thousand thoughts came to Ventus' mind as to what he could possibly say -that he wanted to say-, but for sake of not sounding cheesy and getting made fun of, he stuck to the more generic things.

"Well training was easy! And we got to finish up with tasks early! That's always a plus to any day! Oh!” rattling off quickly with ideas. “And we didn't have to pay for ice cream! Another plus to any day!" He rambled on before a sassy voice made a comeback.

"Oh, and being a complete loser and getting beat in practice again by your better half?" The lazy boy then sat himself up with pride "Ya, that was a greeaat part of the day. My favorite part too." Vanitas stated sneeringly, glaring at his other half with a smug grin. To which Ventus snapped back, but not completely annoyed.

"Hey! It's only because Terra taught you a move he hadn't shown me yet!"

"Uh huh" Vanitas is unconvinced.

"Don't worry, tomorrow when Terra shows me, imma knock you outta the water! You'll see!" Ventus tries to intimidate the raven, but it's to no avail as he watches Vanitas rest his head on his one hand leaning on his knee. Definitely not convinced.

"Oh I'm sure."

"You will! You won't know what hit ya!”

"Aweh, is Venty-wenty gonna throw a tantrum?"

"Not before dinner!" Ventus replied with his own smug grin and began to take his leave out. If they started arguing now, Aqua would sure have them both skip dinner, and Ventus was too hungry for that. Just as he was about to leave, though, he remembered he was still holding onto Vanitas' gummi phone. He had offered to hold onto it earlier when Vanitas was doing water training with Aqua. And mainly because he got tired of Vanitas taking “failure” pictures of him every time he messed up a move.

"Oh! I almost forgot!" He reached in his pocket and walked over to Vanitas to hand him his device. "Here you go".

Vanitas took it in silence, not showing much gratitude. Ventus looked at him for a moment before speaking again, still thinking about their good day. "You did do well with practice today." He said looking at the other with a gentle smile. He wanted to make sure there weren't any hard feelings, especially not now that they've gone so long without any today!

"Well duh, of course I did!" A response as prideful as ever. "You really think you could outdo me, Ventus?"

"Don't be full of yourself!" Ventus riposted as he gave a playful shove to Vanitas’ shoulder. He then decided it was probably good he head out now before the playful bickering turned into an actual argument. "Well, I'm gonna go see if Aqua needs some help cooking".

Vanitas quickly retorted back with a sad excuse for what was to be concern. "Oh no! Don't do that! You'll ruin it!!"

"Whatever!" Ventus let the playfully insult slide, he knew he was still a better cook than Vanitas anyway. Still, no one in that castle could cook as well as Aqua; it’s not like she needed any assisting. His reply was also meant as his farewell, but he remained there for just a second more before he leaned down and kissed his other half on the cheek, disrupting the other's attention that was then on his phone.
          Vanitas glanced up at the blonde who was giving him a small smile. Ventus was only planning on giving him one kiss on the cheek before leaving, again, to keep the atmosphere between them on good levels, but the moment when he catches Vanitas' eyes looking back up at him, he decides why not an actual one.
          He leaned forward and kissed him sweetly. The other returning his kiss. He pulled away not too long before giving him another quick kiss. And another. Aaand another. They shared a few quick kisses, Ventus giving a half smile after each one, their eyes connecting every time their lips weren't. Ventus felt happy, and though he probably wouldn't admit it, he could tell Vanitas felt it too. Or at least he wasn't feeling as sad as usual.
          The breaks between their kisses got shorter, and when they did break apart they still touched their lips. Their kisses were softer, but closer. Longer. Slower. After some time Ventus rested his hands on Vanitas' knees to lean on him for support as they kissed. He realized he wasn't going to be leaving right then like he thought, but was now captivated by this arrogant boy's kisses.

After a couple minutes or five of kissing, Vanitas noticed Ventus’ prolonged pause to return another kiss. He opened his golden eyes slowly to see blue ones looking back at him, but only to have looked away in thought. Infact, Ventus seemed like he had a question on his mind.

Vanitas asked plainly. "What?"

"Um" the blonde replied, seemingly slightly anxious? "Could I try something?" He asked him rather sheepishly. Very uncharacteristic of himself.

The raven merely tilted his head slightly and raised a brow. "What?" He could see the blonde thinking, contemplating.

"Uh.." He thought some more. "Nevermind, it's nothing."

A third time. "What?"

With that inquiry a little more attitude resounded. While the other's voice grew more hesitant.

"It's not a big deal, it's fine! Nevermind, forget I said anything." The blonde waved his hand around and expressed a smile to lighten the tension of the topic. But it didn't work.

"Ventuuus??" Vanitas was not letting him off the hook that easy. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing! It's just-.." He thought to himself again. Was it really worth it to try this now? They had just had a great day, and he was beginning to worry that maybe this would ruin the night somehow. "I was thinking of trying something, but...I could some other time! No biggie!" He knew Vanitas wouldn't let it go now that he brought it up though, so he had to try to make it seem less interesting. "It's just a silly thought anyway." He was now standing straight up with his hand behind his head, trying to play it off like no big deal, hoping Vanitas would drop it. But of course

"C'mon Ventus! Don't be a wimp!" Vanitas can't tell if he himself actually wants to know what it was Ventus wanted to try, or if he's just enjoying messing with Ventus now.

"I'm not I just!-.." Ventus' voice goes completely silent as he looks away. A quiet voice returning back. "I just don't wanna make you uncomfortable...it could be…..awkward." he could feel his face flush with that last line.

Vanitas almost laughs at how coy Ventus has become. "Oohh? Now I'm intrigued. Please, tell me more." His smug grin returned as now he’s entirely amused by Ventus' sudden state of reserve.

Ventus glares at Vanitas as he tries to decide if he really wants to ask or not. Although seeing Vanitas’ sudden interest with notes of sassy mischief is not making him want to choose to do so. "You're just gonna tease me!" He retorts back in a silent plea to not be tantalized if he does say something.

"I won't! I promise." Vanitas says as truthfully as he could try. But they both know he would if it was really something he could get a could tease over. Not after a few moments Vanitas could see Ventus’ hesitation grow, and maybe even some insecurity.

"Hey" Vanitas feels maybe he should take what Ventus wants to ask a little bit more seriously. Especially if he wants an answer. "I won't. Now what is it that you wanna do?"

With pursed lips Ventus is visibly conflicted, but he decides to ask in the end anyway, feeling as if he were to drop it now it could potentially leave an uncomfortableness between them. Which is what he didn't want. Besides, it wasn't that big of a thingy anyway right? So he asked.

"Could I-..could I sit on your lap?"

Vanitas stares at the nervous blonde dumbfounded. "You've done that before. So what's your problem?"

-
Sometimes when they'd be alone, Ventus would lazily have his legs drawn over Vanitas' lap. At times they'd sit like that with one another after the end of a long day. Just to rest. Maybe Ventus would be playing on his gummi phone while Vanitas did the same. Sometimes Ventus would give him gentle kisses on his cheek. The fact was that having Ventus sit on Vanitas' lap wasn't something he hasn't already done. So why Ventus was so anxious and concerned about it being awkward really confused Vanitas. There was something more to it.
-

"I know" Ventus agreed with uncertainty. "But...different." He wasn't quite sure how he wanted to put it. He felt either way he said it was going to sound odd. Maybe even come out sounding more awkward than it would actually be.

"Different how?" Vanitas was getting slightly annoyed by Ventus dragging this out. There were only so many ways you could sit on someone's lap, what could he possibly be thinking?! Determined to find out, Vanitas decided it was time to take a different approach. "If you're so worried about saying it then just do it. You're probably making a big deal out of nothing".

Ventus was quick to respond at that. A suggestion to just do it? Could he? Yeah they've been kissing, and they were on slightly better terms than how they used to be. But would this still be a bit much? Were they at that level of closeness? He didn't want to just do something that would set their progress back. He really needed to know if Vanitas would be okay with it -and that he wouldn't endlessly humiliate him for wanting to even try such a thing-. He tried warning him again. "I just don't want to make you uncomfortable"

"Look" Vanitas' irritation by Ventus' pathetic wariness has got him fed up. "You have my full permission to do whatever it is you're so scared to do! If I don't like it, I'll push you off. Deal?" Frustrated and intrigued, Vanitas just wants to know what it is that's got Ventus all worked up over.

Silence fell between the two but you could almost hear the gears turning in Ventus' head. He was thinking. Considering what Vanitas proposed. He could just shove him off. Although getting his action rejected in such a way wouldn't make him feel too great, most likely embarrassed, and would probably dampen any courage to try anything again.

"Okay"

An unsure tone came from the blonde. But despite his worries, he decided to accept Vanitas' offer. Anxiously. He made sure to add "But remember you said I could!" He wanted to make sure he was in the clear if anything did go awry. He felt apprehensive about how Vanitas would really feel about it. Maybe he said that to tame his own insecurities.

He walked over to the raven haired boy sitting on the bed. He had put some distance between them during discussion. But then he stopped. Putting a finger up to his face in thought. Perplexed?

"Um.."

Vanitas was finally relieved Ventus would quit being a wuss about it, but when he saw the recurring hesitation, his annoyance recurred as well.

"What now?" He asked monotonously exasperated.

Ventus seemed unfazed by the other's irritated voice. And instead he kept his eyes glancing to the floor, looking up out the window, everywhere but at Vanitas. Although in fact it didn't seem like he was looking for anything, but just thinking deeply about something. Like trying to solve a puzzle. A diffident and timid look formed on the blonde boy's face as he began to speak, finger tapped to his chin.

"I'm not sure the best way to go about it."
He sounded as if he was trying to figure out his next move in a game of chess, but had no idea how to use the pieces.

Vanitas just raised an eyebrow at him. Almost as confused as the boy standing in front of him. Before he could make any inquiries, blue eyes quickly glanced at him. Looking into his own eyes searching for both reassurance, and notifying him that he was going to attempt something. Eyes gleaning with a spark of an idea but also lack of a solution. A glance so sudden and averted away, as a small unsure smile appeared and faded just as fast.

The fair-haired placed a hand on the other's shoulder. Using that as his support, he lifted one of his legs up onto the bed. Followed by a second hand placed on the other shoulder, he lifted his other leg up onto the bed until they were both on either side of Vanitas. With that Ventus was sitting on his lap, his legs loosely wrapped around the other.
          Vanitas’ hands rested unintentionally upon the lower back of the one now settled on him. Probably in response to the instinct to hold onto him so he wouldn't fall, but he seemed pretty secure regardless.

They remained in silence for a couple seconds, but what seemed like minutes. Ventus peered at Vanitas with a shallow, muted smile. Vanitas stared blankly back at the other, words lost in unexpected surprise as he thought to himself.

Oh, so this is what he meant.

He then broke the silence between them.

"Is that it?"

Ventus was sure this was when the teasing would begin. At this point they both know what Ventus meant, and there was no going back now. He had to endure whatever humiliating thing Vanitas was about to throw at him. If not throwing him off first.

He averted his gaze off to the side a little in preparation. "Yeah".

He waited for the shove off, but he started hearing laughter? Vanitas was laughing. Of course, there it was. The beginning of Ventus' never ending tournament. He should've just lef-

"I can't believe THIS is what you were so worried about! What a wimp!"

Well, he was spitting insults, but still hasn’t tossed him off yet. Infact, despite holding his head to promote exaggeration, Vanitas still kept his other hand to Ventus' back. Holding him?

"Well!.." looking back at the laughing boy, Ventus sharply interrupted to try and state his case, face turning a slight shade of red. His voice having a little less of a bite then when he began.

"It is a little more...intimate." His glance wavering again, along with his voice.

Silence settled in as the reality of their closeness settled in as well. They were really close like this. Closer than they have been anytime before. Like this, their bodies were close, their embrace close, their faces so close to one another that it wouldn't take much effort to lean in and kiss the other. Their voices being able to be heard clear even when spoken silently. Their breath entangling in the air between them when they spoke; a whisper being a gentle touch to the other's skin. Even their eyes could be seen deeper close up.
          The sincere glimmer reflecting in ocean eyes met fire flickered spheres. A daunting yet innocent flare matching the flutter and waves of the other's gaze. It was easier to see the admiration radiate in Ventus' eyes this close; but easier to see the ache dancing in Vanitas'.
          They were close to one another, neither could deny that. Before Vanitas could respond, Ventus spoke up again. His insecurity stirring as they sat there, bodies close with one another.

"I-...this is why I said you'd tease me." Voice sounding a little saddened. "I was worried you'd mock me for even thinking abou-"

"I will never mock you for affection."

A very opposite tone from the laughter mere seconds ago. The sentence was spoken in a stern, unwavering voice. Golden eyes piercing into blue ones, and Ventus could feel his grip tighten firm around him. Vanitas' every action made sure to reflect how serious he was. How much he meant what he just said.

After all those years alone in a desert wasteland, with no one or nothing around him but his own pain to keep him company -if you could call it that-.
After seeing glimpses through the eyes of another of what love and affection and friendship is, but never receiving any himself; left to realize his only form of physical affection would only be abuse.
To have the idea of what it could be like to be hugged by another, but knowing his only time of being embraced was to be restrained or thrown through a door.
After being brought into existence without any recollection as to why, and much less so as to the pain he was feeling; to cry and to be laughed at for it -to be laughed at for wanting comfort-
After being severely deprived of any form of affection, Vanitas could tease Ventus about almost anything, but he would never tease him about that.

Ventus stared back into those eyes that held so much intent. He was caught off guard by the sudden change in demeanor. They looked into each other's gaze in silence, as the words Vanitas just spoke along with the strong willed voice slowly mingled in Ventus' mind as he tried to make sense of it. As blues entertwined with golds, it all started to settle into understanding.
Ventus replied with an almost whisper, with surprised eyes still fixed on the ones mere meters away from his own.

"Okay"

A strong interlocking stare into the eyes of one another proceeded, and after a moment, Vanitas slowly leaned in to receive permission for a kiss, but one could say Ventus leaned in first, as he was already doing the same. A short pause before a gentle kiss brought their lips together. They remained in that one kiss for a bit. Another kiss blurring as a second one as it was so closely followed after the first.

Ventus moved his hands from Vanitas shoulders to one now touching his face and the other placed under his ear; with his fingers on either side of his ear, dark hair gently rested over top of finger tips. Vanitas' hold around Ventus however was kept loosely around him. He knew Ventus wasn't going anywhere, so he allowed himself to be fully immersed in receiving the affection the blonde was giving to him. Breathing shallow as he allowed their lips to connect in motions that came naturally.

Gliding fingers could be felt on the back of Vanitas’ neck as the touch faded underneath dark locks of hair, turning into a gentle hold behind his head. Fingers buried between and beneath spikes of dark purple, while the calming feeling of another touch was felt gently on his face as Ventus allowed this thumb to glide on Vanitas' cheek with every pressed kiss.

Slowly the rested hold around Ventus changed as Vanitas lifted his arms slightly and pressed his palms to Ventus' back, as if trying to secure the moment forever. Every so often one would shift their head to the other side, seeking for a better kiss, only to find that any kiss fit their lips perfectly.

The legs that were around Vanitas' body closed in a bit more around him, as if to mimic a hug. The grip being to Ventus' back never ceasing as well. The two slowly stopped kissing only to fully allow their connection to mingle. Vanitas holding onto Ventus as Ventus held on to Vanitas' head, hands on either side of his temples. They put their foreheads to each other's, noses only slightly touching. They spent a moment only breathing in silence, feeling their hearts become in sync. Or realizing just how much they already were. Brief kisses were shared while they remained with their foreheads pressed together.

Echoed kisses slowly re-emerged, and this time Ventus allowed himself to be enthralled by the other, letting his arms rest on Vanitas' shoulders as the boy he was sitting so closely to held him even closer. Affection drowned eyes would slightly open to catch a glimpse of the other, and as if in response would always be met with eyes looking back. A silent communication that could only be spoken without words.

Eventually, the blonde wrapped his arms around the raven haired boy and embraced him in the same way his legs mimic a hug. Holding one hand to the back of his head to his shoulder. Arms around Ventus returned the notion with it's own embrace as the hold around Ventus tightened, body pressing to his. Vanitas rested his chin on Ventus' shoulder, but soon buried his face into the crook of his neck. They remained there for what seemed like hours. Holding onto one another as if letting go wasn't an option.

They felt close, not just physically, but internally. Their hearts felt closer too, like their heart's strings were tying themselves back together. And they wanted to allow those strings to become as entangled as they could, until you couldn't tell where one string started and the other ended. Severed back together in the same way it was severed apart. Till one string completed the other until only an infinity remained. A connection never ceasing to end. An unbreakable connection, like no other ♡

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Notes:

I’m just a softy for sappy lovable moments (◡ ω ◡).。*♡