Chapter Text
When Jonghyun stepped through the door of his new apartment, he didn’t know whether to let out a sigh of relief or to immediately start working.
He was the last to arrive, the movers had already dropped all of his boxes off in various places around the open plan space, and really before he did anything he should start unpacking. He should start mapping out the mental image he’d need to navigate his own home… but he was exhausted. Travelling from Gangneung-si, alone, to Seoul had taken more energy from him than he’d expected it to. It wasn’t the first time he’d travelled alone, but being without his older sisters was…difficult. Especially taking this leap of faith, alone in a city he didn’t know, with only his cane and pride to guide him.
Of course, it had been his own choice to move away from his family home. He wanted to be more independent, to no longer be the baby of the family even at 20 years old. He was an adult now, and despite his difficulties, he wanted to map out his own way in life.
But that meant being productive and actually unpacking all the boxes and furniture he’d brought with him, and that felt like an impossible task while his limbs ached and his eyes stung from the bright lights and musky air from public transport.
Regardless, he could tell from just his limited vision that he’d have to do something. He could see the blurred, shapeless forms of the boxes stacked everywhere. Even on his couch that the movers had put together for him had boxes on, and he wouldn’t be able to sit and be comfortable for a while.
So, with a deep sigh, Jonghyun decided he better get as much as he could done. He didn’t have to do all of it, after all. He was free to take his time unpacking. Who was going to judge him anyway? He lived alone now. Neither of his Noonas were there to scold him for leaving his stuff anywhere, or guide him to put them away. It was his own responsibility now.
He wondered if he called them, would they come over and help him unpack?
They definitely, 100% wouldn’t.
Giving a small chuckle to himself, Jonghyun walked towards the window, rolling his cane in front of him to prevent himself tripping over any unseen boxes. He was excited for the day where he wouldn’t need his cane to move around his own home, and he knew it would probably take a while until he could get to that point. It had taken over a year for him to be able to do it at his parents’ place, and even if he knew his O&M skills had improved greatly since he was 16 years old, trying to navigate in a world of nothing but coloured blobs speckled in his vision, he knew better than to expect too much of himself. That only ever ended up in tears.
Feeling the vibrations of his rolling marshmallow top tapping against the side of a box, Jonghyun lowered himself down onto the floor and pulled the tape from the cardboard, exposing the insides. It appeared to be filled with various knick knacks, things he probably wouldn’t have brought with him if he’d thought about it probably. They weren’t exactly… needed. But each one was sentimental. Whether it was a cool action figure from his visioned past, or a workbook from his time in school that he wasn’t able to read anymore. They held memories, and even if they would only take up space, it was still important to him to keep them. They brought him joy and warmth in a world that had tried to pull it all away from him so many times.
Pulling out one of the items in the box, Jonghyun ran his fingers over the bright blue plastic. He couldn’t see it, but he could feel the indents of the manufactured muscles of the figure, his fingertips rough over the scuffed material of where one of his sisters had thrown it in frustration after tripping over it for the 5th time in a day. He could feel where one, bright red but smaller piece had been melted into place to form a helmet, the texture of it a little different, almost like wood, but colder against his fingers.
He felt the tears welling up in his eyes, and he quickly wiped them away as if they made his vision any worse. He didn’t have time to get nostalgic and sad over an action figure. If he sat and reminisced over every single thing he’d brought with him, it would take him a decade to get all the boxes unpacked.
So for a while, he sat, sorting through the box as best he could. The brightest, more colourful things were placed in a pile to his right, to go on display once he had his shelves up. The duller, but no less sentimental things went in a pile to his left, to be packed back away for safe keeping. It wasn’t that they meant less to him, but colour brought joy to his life. Colour was all he could see, and being surrounded by it made him feel less bleak. Especially somewhere as anxiety inducing as Seoul.
He wasn’t entirely sure why he felt one of the busiest places in all of South Korea was the smartest choice for him, a legally blind man, to live alone for the first time. Maybe it was the possibility of more sales of his artwork, maybe it was for the change in air. Or maybe he was just an idiot who was in too far over his head.
With the box empty and separated into two piles, Jonghyun began carefully placing the left pile back into the container, back out of the way where he wouldn’t trip on it. Then, he went on to the next box.
Before he knew it, he’d emptied 5 or 6 boxes and had found space for at least half of the items he’d unpacked from them. Some of the things resting on top of cabinets that had been brought in put together for him, other things resting on top of boxes that had been unpacked but were once again filled with things that didn’t have a place yet. But everything had a place for now, and Jonghyun felt a little proud about his handiwork. But now, his stomach growled beneath his shirt, a little nausea rising from just how hungry he’d found himself. Glancing towards the small kitchen area in his apartment, dread joined the hunger in his stomach.
He didn’t have any food in yet. He’d meant to order an online delivery of a grocery order before arriving, but since he didn’t know what time he’d be getting to his new home, he’d decided against it, not wanting to miss the order slot by not even being there yet. He could order takeout, but he didn’t know which ones in the area were any good, and sometimes, if the take away place was especially small, their descriptions for what his phone would read out to him would be wrong, and he’d end up with something completely different to what he’d expected to order.
He’d have to leave to go and find a convenience store to get something to get him through the night before he ordered his groceries for the next day, but that meant leaving. It was dark outside now, which just made navigation so much harder for him. When the sun set, he may as well have no vision at all. Colours didn’t show in the light of the moon, the streetlights were nothing but too-bright orbs of white that stung his eyes, made them burn and water. He hated going out at night, especially alone. But he couldn’t go without eating either.
Maybe he should have gotten food before spending hours unpacking, but hindsight was 20/20, and there was nothing he could do about it now.
Glancing around himself, Jonghyun found the hot pink that indicated his cane to him, grabbing it with ease as he stood and scoped out the area in front of him, making sure he definitely hadn’t left anything lying around he could trip on. Feeling nothing, he took a few purposeful strides towards the door that lead to the hallway. Then he stopped, turning on his heel and walking back towards the window. Hesitating a second, Jonghyun turned and started towards the door again, only to stop with a frustrated sigh.
“Aish…” He grumbled to himself, reaching up his free hand to run through his hair. It shouldn’t be that difficult, walking out of his apartment to find a store. That’s all he had to do. People did it every day without any issues. He just had to… walk out and grab some food from a store. He was in Seoul, there was no way there wouldn’t be a store close enough nearby. He just had to find one, that’s all.
He knew he had every reason to be anxious. Even someone able bodied would probably be nervous to walk around Seoul in the dark for the first time, but it didn’t do anything for his ego and pride to be this unable to leave his own apartment. His sisters were trusting him to be able to survive alone without their guidance, and surviving alone meant not starving himself on the first day. He thought about ringing one of them, asking them to look up the nearest store and give him directions over the phone so he didn’t feel so alone, but he knew that would be more dangerous than just putting it into Naver Maps. His sister wouldn’t know if he’d made a wrong turn and found his way down a shady alley, the GPS service would and would be able to turn him around again.
With a final deep breath, Jonghyun pulled the door to his apartment open, taking those final few steps needed to leave the safe space his apartment had become in just a few hours. When the door clicked closed behind him, Jonghyun let the breath out slowly. He’d done it. Step one was complete. Leaning back, he pressed his weight into the smooth wood, taking a second to catch his bearings as he reached in his pocket for the smooth plastic container his air pods were contained in. Was it smart for a blind man to own tiny pieces of wireless plastic? Probably not, but he’d never lost a pair yet, and they certainly helped him not get tangled in wires while finding his way around.
“Are you okay?”
Jonghyun quickly looked up at the unknown voice, glancing around the too bright hallway to try and see who was talking to him. He couldn’t see much, simply a tall figure with dark hair that appeared to be a few doors down. He couldn’t see any facial features, only the colours of their form. Their voice was quite smooth, concern in their tone but a lack of judgement. Jonghyun gulped back his fear at talking to a stranger.
“Yeah, thank you.” He said to the figure’s direction.
“You’ve just moved in, right?” Jonghyun simply nodded in response, saying nothing more. “I’m Dongho, I’m one of your neighbours on this floor. Are you sure you’re okay? I heard you pacing for a few minutes before you came out.”
Jonghyun flushed a little pink at being called out that way, lowering his gaze to the blank, boring cream toned floor of the hallway in an attempt to hide his face. It wouldn’t hurt to ask, he tried to convince himself. The stranger wouldn’t judge him for asking.
“Hey, um…” Jonghyun trailed off, trying to find his words. “Is there a store near here? A convenience store where I could get some food?”
“Mm!” Dongho’s voice was filled with affirmation, and Jonghyun heard the other walk closer to him, his form blocking some of the light that he could see. “Do you want me to take you there?”
Jonghyun loved his cane, he really did. He loved the independence it gave him, and the freedom in which it let him move around. But it was always such a bright sign to everyone around him that he wasn’t the same as them. It was so obvious to strangers that he was blind, and it made them pity him. It made them want to treat him like a child. The cane gave him independence, but it took it away from him too.
“No, no thank you. I don’t need you to take me there.” Jonghyun responded, trying to keep the slight annoyance out of his tone. He knew Dongho was only trying to help him, he didn’t deserve a harsh toned response. “If you could just give me the address, I’ll be able to find it.” Lifting his phone up, Jonghyun shook it slightly towards Dongho’s figure, where Naver Maps was already open, ready for him to input a destination to guide him to.
“Are you sure? It won’t take long at all, it’s no inconvenience to me!” When Jonghyun didn’t reply, Dongho let out a small sigh, and Jonghyun could hear the smile through the small gust of air. “Alright, if you’re positive. Can I take your phone and input it for you?”
Hesitating for only a second, Jonghyun nodded and reached his phone out to the stranger. After all, he seemed genuine enough to not run off with it and leave him stranded with no guidance. Although if that did happen, Jonghyun wouldn’t know what to do. He was so reliant on the device for every day life. He felt the phone leave his fingers, and heard Dongho mumbling to himself as he typed, before the phone was gently placed into his hand again. The buds in his ears sparked to life, directing him out of the apartment building.
“Thanks.”
“Don’t mention it.” Again, Jonghyun could hear the smile in the other’s voice. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“Jonghyun.”
“Well, Jonghyun-ssi, I hope we’ll become great friends.”
Jonghyun gave a small nod to the other, before heading out of the building, using his cane to help him navigate the stairs without falling and breaking his neck. Before too long at all, he was out in the cold Seoul night air, and his phone directed him down the street with ease.
He couldn’t see much at all in the low light, and he couldn’t help but feel a little anxious as he walked. He didn’t know if it was just quiet on his street, or if people were just giving him a wide berth as he walked as he didn’t seem to hit anyone’s feet at he went. Either were possible when the street lamps didn’t illuminate enough to make colours reach him, simply bright lights in inky darkness brought him no comfort.
The automated voice in his ear told him to turn left, saying he’d reached his destination. Dongho hadn’t been wrong, the store was incredibly close. He’d only been walking a few minutes before he carefully took the small step up into the store and through the automated doors.
“Good evening and welcome to Seven-Eleven!” A happy voice of an assistant greeted him, and Jonghyun turned towards the figure with a small smile.
“Good evening, would you be able to help me find a few supplies?” He asked with his most charming smile. He knew he wouldn’t get turned down, but he liked to be nice instead of just demand assistance. They owed him nothing really, but he’d like to know what he was purchasing, and when it was a store he’d never been to before, he didn’t know the layout in order to find things for himself.
When the assistant agreed, he allowed her to hook her arm around his own and begin to lead him down various aisles that made his head spin. He was trying to remember what route they were going for future reference, but he knew it would probably take a few visits before he was able to make it around unaided. Thankfully, the assistant really knew her way around the store she worked at, and not 10 minutes later, Jonghyun was at the checkout with a few pork belly kimbap, a variety of bento boxes and a multi pack of flavoured milk to get him through the night, and possibly the next day depending on when he could get his groceries delivered to him. He thanked the assistant with a low bow while he got checked out and handed over the money, before the woman lead him back to the door.
“Thank you again for your help.”
“Don’t mention it! Have a good night, and we hope to see you again!”
Bowing again, Jonghyun made his way out of the store and set his phone to lead him back to his apartment building, confirming he’d selected the right place as it read the address back to him, and began on his way again. He knew now that people were giving him a wide berth rather than it just being quiet, his bag hitting a few legs as he made his way down the street with apologies falling from his lips. His cane must have been easier to avoid than the bag was, but he didn’t get any angry responses at least.
Getting back into his apartment building and making his way back up the stairs, tapping each step as he went and trying his best to not wince at how harsh the lights of the building were compared to the darkness of outside, Jonghyun found himself back on his own floor.
“Ah, good, you’re safe!” Jumping a little at the new voice, he looked over to find the source, seeing a new figure. They were about the same height as Dongho, but brighter. Pink, fluffy hair, and a voice far more excited than the calmer man had been.
“…Yes?” Jonghyun hesitated, confused as to whether the stranger was actually talking to him or if he’d accidentally walked in a stranger’s conversation.
“Ah, sorry! I live on this floor too! Dongho told me that our new neighbour was blind but had gone out alone, so I wanted to make sure you’d get back safely.”
“I’m fine, you don’t need to worry.” Jonghyun wanted this conversation to be over as soon as possible as he walked forward, wanting to get back into his apartment as fast as possible.
“…You just walked past your door, take two steps back, then turn right.”
Jonghyun once again found himself flushing pink. He wandered if the colour of his skin was similar to the colour of the stranger’s hair. “Right, thanks.” Doing as he was told, Jonghyun tapped his cane against the door, feeling the familiar vibration that signalled wood rather than the brick of the wall.
“You’re Jonghyun, right? Dongho told me, sorry.”
“It’s fine, but yeah. Thanks for the concern.” Unlocking his door, Jonghyun went to go step in, but flinched at a hand on his shoulder which quickly retracted.
“Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… I’m Mingi. Don’t feel scared to ask us for help, okay? Everyone on this floor will help you! We’re all really nice, I promise!”
“Thanks, Mingi-ssi, but I don’t need your help, I’ll be okay.”
“The ssi really isn’t necessary.”
“Goodnight, Mingi-ssi.” Pulling away from the stranger, Jonghyun stepped into the apartment and relaxed when he heard the door click closed behind him.
Settling down on the floor by a box he’d unpacked earlier, he pulled out a canvas and a few bottles of paint, pouring the bright colours against the stark white before beginning to smear it around with his fingertips.
Day one of living alone: Success.