Chapter Text
prelude (1918)
I knew it was right — to leave, to run away. But I was crying so hard. Everything I knew, the smell of animals and alcohol and petrol, was behind me, fading fast as I ran into the forest, the sound of dogs barking only pushing me farther.
I was heaving my bag in one hand, swatting branches out of my face with the other. I burst out of the trees, nearly tripped over the train tracks, and booked it north, only the moonlight to guide me. The freight train had to come soon. It rolled by our site every night at midnight, and its shrill whistle had been calling for me to go with it.
“Yongbok!”
My breath stopped. It was my father’s voice. Flashes of light flickered through the forest, the barking was getting closer.
Then the train whistle echoed off the mountains. I ran toward it, a deranged sprint. The men chasing me were shouting my name, ordering me to stop. In their fucking dreams.
The blur of a train emerged from around the bend, three times taller than me and coming fast. It sped past me, its massive wheels shaking the ground. I ran in the opposite direction, alongside it, looking for an open boxcar.
I saw my chance too late. The doors flew past me — I pivoted and scrambled to catch up. The train was picking up pace, whistle still blaring. I yanked my bag off my shoulder, flung it into the car and grabbed one of the doors. It clunked back into place — I stumbled and lost my footing. My shoes scraped against the ground as I reached for the door with my other hand.
I heaved myself into the car and fell onto my back, panting. I let out a hysterical laugh, pulling at my own hair. Jesus Christ, I did it. I couldn’t concentrate on the fear, the countless ways I could die within the next month, or that my father might somehow track me down. For the moment, all I could process was relief, relief that I would never again feel as worthless and terrified as I had for the last 19 years of my life.
I sat up, pulled my duffel bag into my lap, all the earthly possessions I owned. I heard the sound of wood and metal clanking together as the boxcar juddered back and forth. It was dark onboard, shadows everywhere, filling each corner.
“Look at that…”
A voice from the darkness. I flinched. “Hello?”
“What are you doing out here, young one?” The voice was so sweet and deep, like music.
“I… I don’t know. Who are you? Where are you?”
The voice was closer now though I didn’t see any movement. “What’s your name?”
“Um. Felix. Yeah. Felix.”
Closer still. “Haven’t heard that one before.”
“Who are you?”
“My name is Fei.”
“What are you?”
“Your heart is beating quite quickly, isn’t it?”
I swallowed. “You… you can hear it?”
“Yes. Very well.” A boney, calloused hand inched into a sliver of light cast by the moon. “In fact, I can smell the blood it pumps. I can practically… taste it…” A low chuckle, but it sounded like a tiger’s growl.
I scrambled toward the doors but a hand caught my collar, yanked me back. I slammed into something hard — wooden crates crashed down all around me. I still couldn’t see her, she was a wight in the dark, but I heard her breath, rough and fast and excited.
I couldn’t do anything but tremble, too scared to move, as a pair of long hands reached toward me, and something glowing red glinted in the darkness. The hands — gentle, attentive, cold as ice — held my cheeks, pulled me into the shadows, and I felt only a trace of breath against my throat.
chapter 1 (1922)
I didn’t exactly know where I was going.
The trees were expressionless, impossible to tell apart, and the snow-covered ground yielded nothing but my own footprints. At least I knew where I came from.
I slowed from a sprint and focussed, despite being in a little bit of a desperate hurry. My ears perked up. I could hear water sloshing against some kind of barrier. Human footsteps against dirt roads. I headed that way.
The war-torn city appeared through the forest. There wasn’t anyone in sight. I jiggled my bare feet until the snow came off. I would have given anything for a pair of shoes — the soles on my last ones were toast after running for so long. Fei had told me I didn’t need such accoutrements but I still felt nervy without them.
I sped up again, darting through the city. It was late, deserted except for the people asleep in the alleys. Their smells were tempting, not warm enough, not healthy, but it was blood and — good god — I wanted it. I hadn’t fed since the last city I’d passed through, and that was a whole frozen wasteland ago…
But I wouldn’t stop.
But I was so thirsty… but I would not stop.
The sound of water got closer and louder until I could see it. A shipyard, empty save for the hulking, skeletal rigs reaching skyward, made of some kind of newfangled metal that I couldn’t place. There were no humans nearby, but their scent was somehow closer now, rawer…
A hand, a claw, crushed around my neck and slammed my back to the ground. I snarled, flung my legs around my attacker’s arm, thrashed against him. His skin squealed, splintered — he let go for a second, long enough for me to dash out from under him. He was on my heels, chasing me deeper into the shipyard.
Now I could hear them. They were all around. Feeding.
All I could do was hope he — the one I was looking for — was among them.
I pivoted and rammed my shoulder into my pursuer’s gut. He pitched backward and dropped to the bridge. I was about to go for his throat but he wheeled me over his head, pinned me to the ground. I yanked him to the side, tried to straddle him, but he forced me over again, held me to the ground with his knee to my back.
I gasped a desperate breath and yelled as loudly as I could.
“Seo Changbin!”
There was a lull. Then the vampire yanked me up and put me in a headlock. Bare feet ghosted toward me, low snarls from all directions. So many of them. Two grabbed my arms and pulled. The brace around my neck was only getting tighter. I could feel my own skin breaking.
A guttural growl sounded from the distance. Suddenly I was free. I craned around, bashed my foot into a male’s face and sent him over the walkway. Another male came at me from the right, but something rammed into him, a ghost in the foggy air. I heard a splash in the water, a few bare feet back away, growls subside.
I hadn’t even gotten up before the same ghost grabbed my shirt, yanked me to my feet.
I didn’t fight it. This was him — the guy I’d seen in my premonition. He glared up at me, eyes bright red, a hushed growl hissing through his lips.
“Who the hell are you?” he spat. “How do you know my name? Talk. Now.”
“My name is Lee Felix,” I said, but it came out mousy and quiet. I cleared my throat. “I know your name because I’m a precognitive, a clairvoyant, whatever you wanna call it. I saw you in a vision and I came to find you.”
Changbin’s eyes narrowed very slowly. “You’re saying you see the future?”
“Yes.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“I swear it’s not. I was supposed to come get you. We need to go find these guys in England — it’s west of here. They’re our family, they love us.”
“You don’t know me.”
“I will. You’ll get to know me, too. Come with me.”
He shoved me away. “You’re delusional. Get outta here.”
“Not without you.”
“I’m not going.”
“And I’m not leaving until you change your mind.”
His hand whipped out and grabbed my shirt again. “You wanna bet?”
“Get your hands off me,” I snarled.
He let me go, nostrils flaring. “You show up, scream my name, blather about the future, and I’m supposed to think you’re a prophet or something?”
“I’m not a prophet, I’m a… fortune teller. There’s more out there, for both of us, you just need to trust me.”
“Why would I trust you?”
“Because you have nothing to lose? Especially not with this lot. Why do you even stay with them? They don’t love you, they couldn’t care less about you.”
“At least I’m still alive. At least I’m not alone.”
“Aren’t you?”
He blinked once, his only tell.
“I’m not delusional,” I said. “I promise you, we have a home. Let me show you there.”
His eyes were hard on mine, unmoving. For a second, I thought he was hearing me out.
Then I felt heavy. It started at the tips of my fingers and inched up my hands, wrists, arms. My knees wobbled and buckled. I collapsed to the snow-covered ground, broke the fall with my numb hands.
Changbin took my arms and heaved me over his shoulder. What the hell had he done to me? Did he have some kind of coma-inducing gift? I willed my arms to smack the hell out of him but they just drooped against his back.
I heard another member of his coven leap onto the dock. It was the male who had attacked me first — I could smell myself on him.
“You better not listen to him, it’s nonsense.”
“I know.”
“What’re you gonna do with him?”
“I’m dealing with it, get the fuck outta here.”
The male grumbled an affirmative and wandered away. Changbin sprinted out of the shipyard, into the city streets, my arms flapping wildly behind him. I tried to move my lips — all that came out was a low growl.
“Stay quiet,” he muttered.
Feeling came back into my body the way it had left — from my fingers inward. I clenched and unclenched my hands, curled and uncurled my toes. I was almost ready to knock him on his ass when he stopped, let me slump down onto my back. We were in the forest now, under the cover of trees.
“I’m in,” he said. “I’ll come with you till you prove the family exists.”
I grinned hugely — I could feel my face again. “You’ll come with me?”
“Yes.”
“Really?”
“Yes.”
“C’mon, let’s get this show on the road.” I pushed myself up, stretching my arms and legs. I was about to ask how he’d incapacitated me, but he walked past — bumped my shoulder — and disappeared westward into the forest. I ran after him, slow at first, and then caught up once I was sure I wouldn’t face-plant.
“How’d you do that?” I asked at his side. “Take away my feeling?”
“I didn’t take your feeling.”
“Then what’d you do?”
“I control emotions. I made you feel lethargic.”
“Holy shit, that’s so cool. What else can you make people feel?”
“Look, I’m not here to talk.”
“You know I came all the way up here from the Himalayas just to find you? Least you can do is chat with me.”
He didn’t answer. He stared straight ahead, hurtling through the trees like a bullet.
“I’m gonna talk anyway,” I sniffed. “I’m tired of thinking. I haven’t talked to anyone in months.”
Nothing.
“So your coven back there, pretty hardcore. I’ve seen harder.”
Nothing.
“It’s cold up here, I thought my toes were gonna snap off.”
Nothing.
“If you’re really just along to check my credibility, then we should make a bet. If we don’t find our family, your consolation prize will be a hundred — wait for it — billion dollars. That’s how sure I am that they’re out there.”
“No, my consolation prize will be getting to see your face as you realize you were completely fucking wrong, and there is nothing out there for either of us — no family, no better life, nothing.”
I clicked my tongue. “Well look who’s chatty now.”
“Stop.”
“If you don’t wanna talk then don’t talk.”
“I was doing that but you wouldn’t—”
“Still talking.”
“I was trying—”
“Talking.”
He pressed his lips together and went silent.
I groaned. “Please talk to me, I’m so bored.”
Nothing. I huffed, stuck my chin out and mimicked him.