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It was a Thursday, technically. Two thirty seven in the morning, to be exact, when Katsuki was woken up by his phone ringing. Izuku’s contact lit up the screen, and the blonde grumbled as he accepted it.
“What, Deku?” the blonde scrubbed a hand over his face, trying to wipe off the drowsiness.
“Hey Kacchan,” Izuku let out a shaky breath through the phone, “what’re you doing?”
“I was sleeping, idiot. What do you need?”
“I just wanted to talk to Kacchan,” the greenette sniffled, and Katsuki frowned, “I’m not mad at you.”
“I didn’t think you were?” Katsuki’s statement came out more of a question as he rolled over onto his back, asking himself what Izuku could possibly be on about. He didn’t think he had done anything to anger him recently, unless he was missing something. Well, he had eaten the last of his dessert, but in his defense the box didn’t have a name on it.
“I mean about middle school,” the boy let out a small laugh, “I’m not mad at you. I mean, I was, but I’m not anymore.”
Katsuki frowned, “why the hell not? I was awful to you. Beat the shit out of you, called you names, the whole nine yards.”
“Yeah,” Izuku let out another shaky breath and inhaled sharply, “but I figured it would be good to tell you. I don’t want you living thinking I was mad at you. I could never stay mad at Kacchan. Especially now.”
“Still shouldn’t just forgive me just like that, Deku.”
Izuku was silent for a moment, “hey Kacchan?”
“What?”
“Can I ask you a favor?”
“Depends on what it is,” Katsuki looked over at the digital clock on his nightstand, “it is two in the morning, almost three.”
“Well, I guess it’s multiple favors-“
“Out with it, Deku.”
“Can you call me by my name?” Izuku asked, and Katsuki blanked, “just once. I just wanna hear it once. I know ‘Deku’ is my nickname, that's our thing, but just… I just wanna hear it.”
“You’re a weird one, Izuku,” Katsuki let out a small laugh, amused by the favor. “If you didn’t like the nickname you shoulda told me to stop.”
There was a pause, and the sound of Izuku taking a drink, “I love Kacchan’s nicknames. Even if it did start out mean. Can I ask another favor, Katsuki?”
“Sure thing, Izuku.”
The boy took a deep, shaky breath, “tell my mom I’m sorry. And take care of her. And my friends. Todoroki is sensitive, so is Uraraka. And Iida’s gonna be a huge mess.”
“Fuck would I take care of your friends for, Izuku?” Katsuki sat up in his bed, “that’s what they have you for, right?”
“Tell All Might he was wrong, there aren’t actually blue foods,” the smaller of the two laughed, but Katsuki didn’t. He was just growing more worried, “and tell Aizawa I won’t be in class tomorrow.”
“Izuku, what happened?”
“I love you Kacchan, you’re my best friend.”
“I love you too, Izuku, now what happened?”
Silence, and a bit more, before Izuku sniffled and the blonde realized he was crying, “I took a shit load of pills.”
Katsuki stood up, stumbling over his covers as he headed for his door, “what kind of pills, Deku?” He fumbled with the doorknob, shaking.
“Yknow,” Izuku paused for a long moment, “pills.” The line went silent, and Katsuki banged on Eijiro’s door as soon as he went out to the hallway.
“Deku, cmon, talk to me,” Katsuki banged on the redheads door once again, no doubt waking up half the hall. When he got no response, he bolted to the greenette’s room.
Once there, he began banging on the door, a confused Eijiro and Shoto not far down the hall, staring at him, no doubt confused.
“Deku cmon open up,” Katsuki banged on the door again, his palm stinging as it connected with the door again. His throat tightened and his eyes stung. He didn’t get an answer. Throwing his phone down onto the floor, he forced his way into the room.
“Hey man, not cool,” Eijiro’s tired voice sounded behind him as he entered the room. The blonde flicked on the light. Izuku was sitting in the corner of the room, head lolled to the side, eyes closed and mouth parted slightly. His phone sat in his limp hand, still in call with the blonde. A half empty bottle of water laid near him, spilled, and at least three different medications sat poured on his nightstand.
Katsuki rushed over to the boy, grabbing his face in his hands, “go get Aizawa, Kirishima call an ambulance,” he looked back to see both boys in complete shock, “now he’s gonna fucking die!” Both boys ran immediately, Shoto going to find Aizawa, and Eijiro to call for help.
“Cmon, Deku, wake up,” Katsuki gently shook the boy's face, ignoring his own vision getting blurrier and blurrier, “cmon don’t do this to me. Don’t do this to them, cmon, please. What about your mom, huh? And Uraraka and Todoroki and Iida? Deku, please, just hang in there okay? You’re not- Izuku, please. People need you. I thought we were gonna do this together, you always said that. Just a little bit longer okay?”
People were gathering at the doorway, some came into the room, but all of them stood in shock. Aizawa came running in with Shoto, and he gently pushed Katsuki out of the way to get to Izuku. Paramedics weren’t far behind. They took Izuku with them to take him to the hospital. Katsuki stood and watched as the greenette got carried out of the room.
Everyone was staring at Aizawa, at the pills laying on Izuku’s nightstand, at him. Katsuki just looked back at them, tears streaming down his face, standing right next to where he found the boy.
It was too much. His throat was tight and it felt like he couldn’t breath. Everything started to come down in him. Silently, he sank down to the floor and curled up, knees tucked tight to his chest. His pajama pants were getting wet, but he couldn’t care. He didn’t know what else to do. And neither did anyone else. Everyone piled into the boys room, the whole class, and cried.
Eijiro sat down next to the blonde. Katsuki picked up his head to look at him, and neither of them said anything. The light from Izuku’s phone caught his attention. Katsuki picked up the phone and found their call was still going. The boy cried harder as he ended the call, realizing that was probably the last time Izuku would talk to him.
And he was right. The next morning, Izuku Midoriya was pronounced dead. Katsuki was at the hospital with Inko when it happened. She hugged him tightly, and they both cried.
A week later a funeral was held for him. Everyone in class attended, even those from other classes. Katsuki hadn’t talked to anyone since that night. The day of the funeral, he had finally told Aizawa and Inko what the boy said on their call.
“It’s not your fault,” they told him, but he knew Izuku would still be alive today if he had realized just a bit sooner, if he had asked a little earlier, if he had gotten there a little quicker.
“You can’t blame yourself,” Eijiro would tell him when he found Katsuki crying on the floor of his dorm room at early hours in the morning. But he could, and he did.
No one had been in Izuku’s room after that. Not him, not his mom, not even a teacher. Katsuki had the key, all of his friends agreeing it should be him who had it.
Mornings were silent now. Not even Denki tried to lighten anyone’s mood in the morning. Tenya didn’t shout instructions at them anymore, Mina and Ochaco smiled less, Shoto had stopped talking altogether.
No one talked at lunch, either. They ate their lunches silently, not bothering to look at one another now. The room could be louder than a daycare, but the tables they sat were silent, save for the sounds of them eating.
It took them weeks to be able to sit in the common room again, or sit at the table together. It took them weeks to start talking to each other again. Katsuki still didn’t.
A few weeks after Izuku died, he started going into the boys room. Sitting on his bed, at his desk, on the floor, or in the corner he found him. He didn’t dare move anything.
No one knew it, but Katsuki knew where he got the medication. Hitoshi’s insomnia medication, Denki’s anxiety medication, and Katsuki’s own antidepressants. How he got them, he wasn’t sure. But there they were, a constant reminder.
Katsuki would read Izuku’s notebooks, or his favorite books, or watch his favorite movies. He’d lay in the boys bed and stare up at the ceiling. Maybe if he felt like it, he’d toss on the hoodie the boy left sitting on the end of his messy bed.
Sometimes, Eijiro or Ochaco would go in there and keep him company, or maybe even Denki, laying on the floor and keeping him silent company. Sure, he appreciated that. But being able to just sit by himself in a place that was just full of the boy's life was enough for him.
Katsuki had frequently called Izuku’s number, despite the boy having the phone. He’d let it ring until it went to voicemail, which was what Katsuki really wanted to hear, “hey you’ve reached Izuku Midoriya! I’m sorry I missed your call, I’m probably busy training. If you hang tight, I’ll call you back. Have a nice day!!”
There were days he wouldn’t show up to class at all, and the only place someone could find him would be Izuku’s room or the cemetery. Aizawa didn’t bother punishing him for it, knowing what it felt like to lose someone so important to him.
It went on like that until they graduated, Katsuki slowly starting to talk again. When it came time for everyone to move out, Katsuki was tasked with packing away Izuku’s dorm. His mom had requested a few of his things, but she said Katsuki could have the rest.
The blonde set aside a few things to give to his friends, like his favorite All Might merch, or his favorite hoodies. The rest, he’d keep.
Things were going well until he’d gotten to a note the greenette had stuffed into the bookshelf right by the corner he had passed. The blonde had cried again, staring down at the note. He folded it up and put it in his pocket. He’d keep it until the day he died himself, along with the rest of his things.
Hey Kacchan,
I knew you’d find this eventually, and even if you’re not Kacchan, I’m glad you found it. I’m really sorry to leave you, but I can’t do this anymore. But this note isn’t about me, it’s about you!
I don’t want you to be upset, Kacchan. You couldn’t have done anything. My mind was already made up even before I called you. I hope you still become a hero, even after this. You’ve always been so strong, you’ve always been my hero!
Please, take care of my mom and my friends okay? But take care of yourself too. You’re still my best friend, even if I’m gone. And I want my best friend to be in tip top shape when I get him back. So take care of yourself for me. We’ll see each other again. You’re my hero, Kacchan.
-Izuku