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Atsumu had begun to get used to life without his brother. It had been a year since his death and life without him was something he never thought he would have to experience. It was why he was so angry when Osamu had said for the first time that he was going to quit volleyball after high school. Losing his other half was Atsumu’s worst nightmare.
He never dreamed that one day he would have to live it.
Nevertheless, here he was, a year after his twin’s death, in a hotel room with his high school best friend, teammate, and twin’s former boyfriend, Suna Rintaro.
“Sunarin, ya feelin okay? Yer awful quiet over there.” Atsumu remarks after a very long period of silence.
“Just thinkin’, ‘Tsumu, I’m okay.” The dark haired man responds.
Atsumu hums in affirmation, putting in his earbuds and pulling up an old playlist. It was a playlist Osamu had made for him years ago that he still listens to. He presses the shuffle button and closes his eyes, leaning back onto his pillows.
A few minutes later, Atsumu wishes he never pressed that shuffle button.
He didn’t register what song was playing until the chorus hit. His heart sank into his stomach when he fully registered it. It was “The Kids Aren’t Alright” by Fall Out Boy. Atsumu and Osamu listened to a lot of Fall Out Boy growing up and they were a staple in their middle and high school years.
“The Kids Aren’t Alright” was Osamu’s favorite song when it came out.
Atsumu’s throat began to tighten as thousands of memories started flooding back to him. Memories of fighting over food at 3am in high school while trying to not wake their parents sleeping right upstairs. Memories of Osamu telling him everything that Suna had said to him before they had begun dating and Atsumu yelling at his twin to just ask him out before Atsumu did it for him.
The song progressed in his earbuds as he thought of the match that was happening the next day. He looked down into his open duffel bag to see his jersey, his last name and the number eleven staring directly back at him. His brother’s old number. It was after Osamu had died when Atsumu received his jersey. He cried for hours when he saw the number eleven and vowed to play the best game he ever had to make his twin proud.
“All those people in those old photographs I’ve seen are dead.” the song projected into his ears as Atsumu’s phone screen lit up, displaying a photo of him and his twin outside Onigiri Miya on opening day. Atsumu bit his lip as he grabbed his phone to see what the notification was. It was a text from Suna.
Sunarin:> you okay?
“Sunarin, I’m right here. Ya can talk to me, I don’t bite.” Atsumu said aloud.
“I know, ‘Tsumu. Ya just looked lost in thought. I didn't wanna bother ya” Suna responded.
“Yer never botherin' me. I’m just thinkin’ about ‘Samu. I miss him, Rin. So much.”
The dark haired man sighed deeply. “I miss him too, Atsumu. Remember that promise you made to me when we got our jerseys?”
Atsumu hummed in affirmation. “I said I was gonna play the best game I ever played to make ‘Samu proud.”
“Don’t forget it. I know he’s gonna be watchin’ us from wherever he is now.” Suna replied
The blond man laughed a little. “Yer right. He’s probably makin’ fun of me for thinkin’ so much about 'im right now.”
Now it was Suna’s turn to laugh. “Most likely. Get some sleep, ‘Tsumu. It’s late and God knows we need the rest. Make ‘Samu proud tomorrow.”
“I will, Rin. Goodnight.”
“‘Night ‘Tsumu”
Atsumu took his headphones out and sighed, putting his phone on the bedside table and pulling the duvet cover up over his entire body. He felt fully at peace for the first time since his twin’s death. He now knew that even though Osamu was no longer physically beside him, all their memories and that number eleven on his jersey was a sure sign that Osamu was never leaving his twin’s side, whether he was alive or not.