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Josh straighten his seat as Rob announced the next round. He was sitting at Lee Mack's team today, guesting at WILTY.
Buzz.
"Alright Josh, please read the card in front of you," Rob instructed.
Josh lifted the card and turned it over. He cleared his throat to reset his voice. Lie or not, he needed to sound neutral "Once, I was so drunk that a girl who I met the first time had to carry me back to her flat."
"Well, sorry Josh but you kinda look like that sorta fellow", Sarah Millican, who's playing at David's team retorted and the audience laughed right on cue.
"Was this a man or a woman?" David chuckled.
"Ha." Josh exhaled "She's a woman. I was uh, visiting my cousin in Oxford and that's where I met her."
"What the hell were you drinking that you got that sloshed, mate?" Romesh, who was sitting on David's left side, asked.
"Well uh, it was a couple of days before their term started and we had one of those pre-term ragers. Now, I want to say that I don't do this anymore but we started drinking at 2pm." Josh was turned a light shade of pink at this point.
"And honestly, if I knew I was gonna meet my girlfriend that I way I wouldn't have drank too much." Josh finished.
"Ah so she's your girlfriend now," David asked. "Like, currently. You are in a relationship with the date who carried you."
"Is that so hard to believe, David?" Lee interjected, "If people find you attractive, surely, they'll find someone who's young and supple like Josh more appealing."
David leaned back and crossed his arms, "I'm not saying he's not attractive, I'm more surprised that the woman agreed to be with Josh after what I imagined is a traumatizing scenario."
"Hey, hey, hey," Josh pretended to be offended, "It wasn't traumatic, we found it romantic actually."
"Alright, alright," Rob reigned them in and brought them around "So, you got drunk really early."
"Yeah," Josh continued "basically Maya, my now girlfriend, and I got chatting. We uhh, initially started as a group but by the end of the night, it was just the two of us and we decided to leave the flat to get something to eat.
"So when did the carrying start?" Romesh asked.
"Well, I'm getting to that," Josh whined, but he was actually relishing recalling this memory. "So we had meal at a place near her flat and we had a really lovely time, you know when you're starting to get to know someone. After we ate, I gallantly offered to walk her back to her flat but I guess the booze and the food didn't settle well with me so after walking a few metres, I stopped at a dumpster and expunged all that vileness."
Roisin clarified, "That's vomit, right? You vomited?"
"Well, you didn't have to be so articulate about it Roisin, Jesus Christ, I was being delicate." Josh yelled, "But yeah, I was so out of it and I blacked out, the next thing I knew I was on her couch and it was the next day."
Lee was suppressing his laughter since Josh was on his team. "Oh Josh," was all he could manage to say.
"But basically, she was very caring and she told me that she dragged me from the streets onto her flat. Mind you, she lived on the second floor. I was so embarrassed about the whole ordeal but I also couldn't help but admire her and found myself wildly attracted to this woman, who in spite of me smelling like alcohol and vomit, decided to take care of me. When I was in a better state, I asked her out and yeah, she's now my girlfriend." Josh grinned.
Rob was also smiling after hearing Josh's story, "Alright, David's team. What do you think, is Josh telling the truth, or is he telling a lie."
"I can believe that Josh, can't take his liquor. But I feel very sorry for the woman who had to take care of you but I think it's a really sweet story so I'll go for the truth." Sarah stated.
Rob, turned to Romesh, "What about you?"
"I've met your girlfriend Josh but I never asked how the two of you met. And her name is Maya. So there is some truth to what you're saying, so okay, I'll go with true as well."
"Alright," David said "I love it when I only have to confirm what my team has already agreed on. We're going for true."
"So Josh, are you telling the truth or a lie"
Josh slowly placed his hands on the buzzer and looked towards Rob, "I am in fact telling the," he then presses the buzzer, "TRUE."
David's team applauded and Roisin teased, "Poor Maya, what she had to put up with."
Josh, looked at the camera and winked, "Sorry about that love."