Chapter Text
Hot.
It’s...it’s too hot. Burning.
The air - the air hates him. It burns at his skin with its hatred, climbs into his mouth to choke him, clawing down his throat, flooding his windpipe with metallic blood. He tries to scream but there’s no room in his lungs for it, he’s drowning on hatred and on his own blood. There are hands on his body, blunt nails hooking into his skin to wrench his limbs in every direction, at once flaying him and tearing him apart.
Where is- where is everybody? Why are they letting this happen? Why are they letting him be torn to pieces? Alone. He’s been abandoned and left to be shredded by it, to suffer this hatred and resentment alone. The hands pull him down down ever further down into the place where the resentment is thickest.
What he wouldn’t give to pass out from the pain. But that will never happen. There is to be no such escape for him, into blissful unconsciousness or death. No, he will suffer, each moment feeling like it can’t get any worse. Each moment getting worse. Until-until-!
Wei Ying wakes up heart pounding, disoriented, and drenched in sweat. For a moment the panic of the dream bleeds over so dark can’t see can’t breath can’t breath let me go letmegosomebodyhelpmesaveme before his brain catches up and recognizes that he is at home, in bed, and has gotten himself twisted up in the sheets.
Groaning, he wriggles and manages to free one arm enough to pull off the fabric that’s wound around his head. That explains the suffocating. Both top and bottom sheets are swampy with sweat, he’ll have to do laundry again. It’s not unusual, Wei Ying always sleeps hot. But he’d just washed them two days ago, this is getting unsustainable.
Extracting his limbs from the tangle, he drags himself upright, shivering as the morning air hits his feverish skin. A full body stretch rewards him with gratifying pops from his shoulders and neck, and a cursory hand through his hair finds it a disastrous mess. He hasn’t gotten it cut in the last year and it’s getting long; he should probably do something about it. Ms Yu certainly is of the opinion that he should - an opinion that she shares loudly and frequently. But Wei Ying has been enjoying it longer, as unruly as it is. He drags his fingers through the thick snaggle that falls around his jawline; it feels better than when it was cropped short this time last year.
He’s just scratching the faint stubble along his upper lip - he should probably shave too, there’s only so much that Ms Yu can be expected to take before she snaps and murders him - when he finally notices the time.
“Fuck!”
It’s ten minutes past the time Wei Ying should have left for the metro station. He’s a notorious habitué of the snooze-button, but even for him this is excessive. “Fuck fuck fuck!” He chants as he staggers to his feet and throws his closet open in search of a clean uniform. There’s absolutely no time for a shower, despite how disgusting he smells right now, so he douses himself in about half a can of antiperspirant and vows to sit close to the windows today. Hopping into his trousers and dragging a shirt on at the same time, he stuffs his tie into a pocket to put on later and throws his backpack over one shoulder.
“Jiang Cheng!” He bellows, throwing his bedroom door open and sprinting for the stairs. Thundering down and hurtling towards the kitchen he shouts again, “Jiang Cheng! You angel! Light of my life, apple of my eye, buddy of my bosom! My lovely darling handsomest brother-“
He swings around the doorframe and nearly collides with said brother. Jiang Cheng clearly did have time to shower, hair still damp and combed neatly back, uniform crisp and impeccable under his leather jacket. He’s holding his helmet in one hand, obviously about to depart. Probably trying to make his exit before Wei Ying got here. Ha, better luck next time! Wei Ying has him now.
“Jiang Cheng! Give me a ride to school!” He demands, latching onto his brother’s arm tight enough to communicate that ‘no’ is not an option today. Ever since he got his motorcycle a few months back, Jiang Cheng has stubbornly refused to drive Wei Ying to school. Something something about gas money, and how long it had taken him to get his license, and how Wei Ying is a leech blah blah blah. And like Wei Ying would be happy to chip in for gas and stuff, but with what money Jiang Cheng? He’s a broke student with no time for a job! All he’s got to his name is a monthly transit pass that uncle Jiang pays for. That’s it!
Predictably Jiang Cheng scowls and tries to shake him off. Wei Ying clings tighter and drags his heels in. “Come on have some mercy on this pitiful brother! I’m begging you here ChengCheng, I’ll do anything! How about I do your math homework for you?”
As expected this peaks Jiang Cheng’s interest, his eyes narrowing in consideration. Wei Ying knows he’s won when he exhales loudly through his nose. But before he can celebrate Jiang Cheng shoves a finger at his face and snaps, “Math homework for the week and you’re writing my poetry analysis for Zheng’s class.”
“Deal!” Wei Ying whoops, darting to smack a wet kiss to his brother’s cheek.
“Screw off you smell like you fell into a toxic waste dump!” Jiang Cheng chokes, shoving him away.
“Well this toxic waste dump loves you didi!” Wei Ying might be pushing it with the nickname, but he figures that the offer to do Jiang Cheng’s poetry assignment is too sweet for him to ditch him now. The guy is talented in so many ways but classic Chinese lit is not one of them, and Wei Ying knows that Jiang Cheng can’t afford to end the term with the C+ he’s currently sitting at.
He parades Jiang Cheng to the garage, snagging the spare helmet that lives on the top shelf. Jiang Cheng sends a withering look his way as he opens the doors, “Hey moron, at least put on a jacket.”
“Nah no time!” Wei Ying chirps back as he hops onto the back of the motorcycle.
Jiang Cheng rolls his eyes and climbs on in front of him, throwing an elbow into Wei Ying’s stomach along the way. “Just don’t fucking come whining to me when you fall off and fuck yourself up with road burn.”
“Don’t even worry about it, I’m telling you I’m invincible Chengcheng! I’m gonna live forever!”
There’s no way it’s an accident when Jiang Cheng boots up the bike and takes off with a lurch that almost dislodges Wei Ying then and there. He just barely catches himself on the back of Jiang Cheng’s jacket, hooking his arms more securely around his waist with his heart in his throat. For all his shit talking Wei Ying does not actually want to eat asphalt today. Not this early in the morning at least.
The ride to school chases away the last of the fog from the bad dreams, with the wind tearing at his clothes and the sun on his skin, and the world rushing by, the dark and the hot and the hands all over him are all but forgotten. The morning passes business as usual, the excited chaos of friends greeting friends after a weekend apart, followed by the monotony of lectures. Since Wei Ying hasn’t had time for breakfast this is all shadowed by the gnawing emptiness of his stomach which, by the time noon break rolls around, has become unbearable.
Realizing that he’d also failed to grab anything for lunch, Wei Ying is standing at his locker, digging around every nook and cranny looking for enough change to get something from the cafeteria. The meagre handful of coins might barely buy him a coke, which would at least provide a blood sugar boost to last through the afternoon. Although the caffeine on an empty stomach is a recipe for certain disaster. He’s just trying to recall if any of his friends owe him cash or favours (probably not) when his phone buzzes in his pocket.
[**jiejie💚🌸✨** : come out front, I’ve got a special delivery <3]
The gods were truly in the good shit when they made Jiang Yanli. He sends back a quick key smash, slams his locker shut and races through the crowded halls to the front entrance. Through the milling student body and it’s heady clouds of cigarette smoke he immediately zeros in on his sister’s familiar figure. Taking the stairs in a single jump he greets her with the appropriate level of joy, swinging her around merrily.
“Look at you A-Ying!” She scolds once she’s been released. Reaching up she pats futilely at his hair which - after his own attempt to tame it in the bathroom between periods - is a frizzy mess. When she realizes what a lost cause it is she moves on to his shirt, smoothing out the wrinkled collar and pulling his tie tight. “You’re going to get written up with another uniform infringement!”
Wei Ying reckons he’s alright for today; at least he’s got all of the uniform components on this time. “Well jie? Where’s my present? What’ve you brought for your Yingying today?”
She passes him the bag she’d been holding, which he digs eagerly through, finding a thermos of soup and a Tupperware with two onion buns. Mouth already watering he twists the thermos open and takes a swig like it’s a water bottle. The broth is rich and salty with shreds of savory meat and tender lotus and she’s added enough chilli oil to make his sinuses burn in the best of ways. He can feel it flooding his body and replenishing his blood. Wiping his greasy mouth he beams, “You’re a lifesaver jiejie. Where would I be without you?”
With the edge off his hunger, he recaps the thermos and invites her to stay and hang out for the rest of his break. The weather is good and he can see a bench free in the dappled shade of a maple tree across the yard. But Jiang Yanli has to decline. “We’re on our way to lunch now, I just wanted to stop by to drop this off. I noticed you didn’t pack anything for yourself and I couldn’t bare the thought of you going hungry. ”
When she says ‘we’, Wei Ying looks up at the street and for the first time notices Jin Zixuan’s ugly car idling in the lot. It’s shiny and gold, some uber-expensive luxury brand which Wei Ying can never remember the name of. He’s never had a head for cars, can’t be bothered to keep the different types straight, even though Jin Zixuan talks about his incessantly. Like we get it bro your daddy handed you a job in the family fortune-five-hundred straight out of high school so you can afford fancy shit we. Get. It.
Wei Ying waves exaggeratedly at the car. The windows are too tinted to see for sure but he highly doubts Jin Zixuan waves back.
But the thing is, Jiang Yanli deserves nice things. Wei Ying might wish it was somebody less douchey providing them for her, but he can’t deny that she does deserve to get driven around and taken out for expensive lunch in a fancy car. So he smiles and waves as they drive off. Jiang Yanli rolls down the window to wave back.
The rest of the day passes easier with food in his belly. He’s got phys-ed last period, where they’re doing archery this week which means Wei Ying basically gets the period to chill. As usual, the teacher lets him have his own target away from the group and leaves him alone while the other students practice their bow forms. Wei Ying tools around; stretching lazily, and warming up with some basic shots (all bulls-eyes naturally) before moving on to more challenging trick shots.
As always, he draws a bit of a crowd; students on free block or skipping out gathering on the track bleachers to watch. He won’t deny that it strokes his ego nicely, and is just debating whether he can get away with a blindfolded shot without being yelled at when the teacher shouts to start packing up.
As he’s pulling arrows out of the target, one of the spectators peels off from the group and jogs across the field towards him. She’s unfamiliar - which means nothing with Wei Ying’s chronic face blindness - but she’s cute so he plasters a charming smile on just for her.
“Hi!” The girl chirps when she reaches him, “I just wanted to say how amazing that was. You’re Wei Ying right? In forth year?”
“Haha yeah thanks I really appreciate it! Um sorry, I don’t know your name...?”
“Oh that’s okay! You wouldn’t, I just transferred from Lanling prep. I’m Luo Qingyang, fifth year.” She gives a cute little bow, her ponytail bobbing. Never to be outdone in the cute department Wei Ying returns it with an even deeper bow and a wink. “Hey,” Luo Qingyang continues, “Can I ask where you learned to shoot like that? And have you ever competed? I’m on the regional team and I don’t remember seeing you at any meets, I would have remembered shooting like yours. Have you ever tried out for nationals? You’re good enough for it!”
And this. This cold plunging feeling in his gut is why Wei Ying hates meeting new people. He’d had enough of it last year, when he was new himself and constantly doing the introduction thing. But after the first few weeks he was fully established and it had finally died out, and since then he’d been blissfully free of having to do this. The explaining thing. It turns every introduction into this whole Thing. And inevitably he’s met with the wide eyes and the poorly disguised pity and the excruciatingly awkward follow up questions. It’s the worst.
“Aha you see I don’t actually know.” He tells Luo Qingyang, forcing his voice so stay light and cheerful in a way that he's aware actually just makes him sound like a squeaky wind-up toy, “I kind of, have no memories before last year so I honestly couldn’t tell you! Sorry! But thanks for the compliment it’s really nice of you to say!”
The girls eyes widen and her face goes red with mortification. Wei Ying can see that the cogs in her brain are spinning for something to say, so he quickly snatches up the collapsible target and beats his retreat. Calling a brief “Nice meeting you!” Over his shoulder while she stands there, mouth half open in surprise.
It’s probably rude of him, but he just. He just wants one single day where he doesn’t feel this way. There’s no escaping it, no matter how well he’s doing in school, throwing himself into hobbies, making friends, by all appearances well-adjusted and thriving. There’s always going to be some reminder hanging over his head.
One year and a handful of days. That is the extent of Wei Ying’s world. Before that is just nothing, a whole mysterious life spanning back, forgotten. It’s been a year of rebuilding himself to get to the point he is now.
The first month was the hardest, when he’d first come to live with the Jiangs he’d had the capacities of a toddler. The memories from that time are foggy, but full of confusion and frustration. He’d had to relearn everything, how to talk, how to bathe himself, how to sit still and behave politely, how to eat with utensils, how to sleep the night in his own bed. The list goes on.
He owes the victories almost entirely to Jiang Yanli. Thinking back on it now, Wei Ying still can’t believe all she’d done for him, back when they were still total strangers. He knows now what she’d given up to do it, knows that it had strained her relationship with Jin Zixuan so badly that they’d broken up for a full six months. Knows that she’d put off plans, deferring her classes at university for the year, turning down a volunteer placement she’d been trying for to spend the time nursing him. Uncle Jiang and Jiang Cheng has been there too of course, but it had been Jiang Yanli who’d been by his side all day every day, through the sleepless nights plagued by nightmares that had him thrashing and screaming, all the times he’d lashed out from sheer frustration of not being able to complete simple tasks, navigating the inexplicable days where he’d suddenly regress and loose the ground they’d made, becoming nonverbal, forgetting how to climb the stairs, suddenly finding all of his clothes unbearable against his skin.
Wei Ying wishes she was here now, suddenly missing her so strongly his eyes prickle even though he’d seen her a couple hours ago. He wants to snuggle up and lay in her lap for a head rub like he used to whenever the world was too loud and overwhelming. He wants her cool hands pressed to his brow, the soothing scent of her peach tea moisturizer in his nose.
But it’s been a year and Wei Ying has learned how to cope with these feelings on his own. It’s just not fun. He numbly stows the archery equipment in the gym before heading to the change rooms to swap his track suit for his uniform. Usually he might stay and goof off with his classmates for a bit, but he’s still feeling too bruised and all he wants to do is get home. It’s only when he sees Jiang Cheng waiting by his locker that he remembers that it’s Monday, which means he’s got his appointment today.
He would usually tease his brother about this, pinch his cheeks and coo at him for being sweet enough to drive him to his appointment, but he’s not feeling up to it at the moment. He stays quiet as they gather their bags and walk to the parking lot, sticking to Jiang Cheng’s back with his head down to avoid anyone who might try to say hi.
His standing weekly appointments at the fancy private clinic aren’t even that bad really. The office is posh and beautifully decorated, the walls painted in pale blues and greens, gleaming black hardwood floors instead of typical hospital linoleum. It’s a fusion practice, combining traditional taoist methods with modern technologies. There’s always classical Chinese music playing softly in the background, and incense burning in reception. They serve tea while you wait, and have gorgeous old ink paintings and tapestries on the walls. It no doubt costs uncle Jiang a fortune to send him there but it is worlds above going to the public hospital with its headache inducing artificial lights and nasty chemical smells.
No matter how nice the office is, it’s still a weekly reminder that Wei Ying Is Not Normal. Jiang Cheng drops him off out front before going off to do who knows what for the hour it’ll take to run the tests. Wei Ying takes a deep breath before strolling through the door. As usual there’s nobody else in the waiting room - he rarely sees other patients when he’s here. Waving at the receptionist Wei Ying shows himself into his usual room and sets himself up on the plush chaise that serve as the examination beds here. He’s early enough that he manages to doze for a bit before the doctor comes to see him.
Doctor Lan is the greatest. Wei Ying saw plenty of medical professionals in the early months, most of whom were fine, but who obviously mostly saw Wei Ying as a medical marvel to use as fodder for their latest research papers. Doctor Lan doesn’t treat him that way. Doctor Lan looks Wei Ying in the eye with his steady warm gaze, he takes the time to ask about his life, remembers his friends named, remembers what projects he’s got on the go, what TV shows he’s obsessed with. He treats him like a person and not just a walking talking case study. Doctor Lan is also drop dead beautiful and, despite that fact that he’s in his mid forties, Wei Ying might be fostering a tiny little crush on him.
Today Dr Lan has his nephew and protégée with him, which immediately brightens Wei Ying’s mood. Lan Sizhui is in the final year of his residency, and has been dividing his time between the general hospital and putting in hours at his uncle’s clinic. Someday he’ll take over the place, once the older man retires, but that’s a long ways off yet since Dr Lan is a perfect specimen of a human and will no doubt keep working until he’s eighty at least.
Lan Sizhui is also one of Wei Yings favourite people in the world. It’s probably weird to say because he’s like, ten years older than Wei Ying, but Lan Sizhui just so adorable. Unlike his uncle who’s beautiful in a tall, chiseled, cheek-bones-for-days way, Lan Sizhui has big doe eyes and fantastic chubby cheeks that Wei Ying always has this creepy urge to pinch. He’s also sweet and funny and faultlessly polite without being stuck up. He always gives Wei Ying a lollipop from the kids’ drawer at the end of the appointment.
Lan Sizhui starts Wei Ying with the usual questions while Dr Lan pull of his charts from last session. Inquires about his sleeping patterns, the dreams, any new triggers he’s encountered in the past week. There have been lots of things that set him off, ranging from barking dogs, or the sound of helicopters flying, to the taste of cooked turnip, or the feeling of anything touching his neck (which had been the reason he’s gotten so many uniform infringements - sometimes he can’t handle the feeling of his tie no matter how loose he leave it.) A few weeks ago on a national holiday Nie Huaisang had dragged them to a military parade in town, and the sound of marching boots had sent him spiralling into a panic attack that lasted the better part of an hour.
Then there are seemingly random questions about like, what was the best thing he’d eaten, what had made him laugh the hardest, how he was liking the weather lately. Bizarre, but Wei Ying is well used to just answering without overthinking it. It’s all just part of Dr Lan’s unconventional approach.
Both doctors look pensive when he confesses that the dreams have gotten bad again, exchanging glances with one and other over their respective clipboards. “I’m going to request a CT scan.” Dr Lan tells Wei Ying, “Nothing to be overly concerned about but it has been quite a while since your last one. I’ll see if they can fit you in sometime this week. In the meantime I’m going to up your dose a bit, hopefully it’ll help with the nightmares.”
Ugh. A CT scan means going to the big hospital. Wei Ying pouts at Sizhui when Dr Lan leaves the room to send off the request. Sizhui laughs gently and pats Wei Ying on the back. “Don’t look so glum Mr Wei, I know you can handle it. Anyway, you’re doing so well lately it’s all mostly formality at this point.”
“I still haven’t remembered anything though.” Wei Ying points out, slumping sideways on the couch. “I’m better in so many ways! I don’t get why my damn broken brain won’t just remember already! I’m so tired of it.”
“I know.” Sizhui clucks sympathetically, “But there’s no rush, everyone heals differently. When it’s time for you to remember you will.”
They don’t talk about the possibility that Wei Ying will never regain his memories. That it might be like this for the rest of his life, wishing and wondering.
Once Dr Lan returns they do a short acupuncture session, only a couple spots this time, focused on his mental energies. Wei Ying is well used to it by now, laying face down for fifteen minutes while Lan Sizhui sticks needles in the back of his head and neck. Once it’s over he gets up, adjusts to the drowsiness that always follows a session, then goes to suck on his lollipop in the waiting area until Jiang Cheng gets here. Lan Sizhui keeps him company, leafing through paperwork behind the desk.
Jiang Cheng doesn’t bother getting off his bike when he arrives, just pulls up to the curb with a whole lot of noise and sits there waiting. Wei Ying leaves Lan Sizhui with a fist bump and hollers a goodbye down the hallway to Dr Lan.
Jiang Cheng takes the long way home without Wei Ying even having to ask. The road skirts the city and snakes down beside the lake, dipping so low along the water it feels like they’re skimming along the surface. The sun is just getting low enough to colour the sky, pastel yellows and oranges bleeding into the blue. Jiang Cheng pulls over onto the shoulder and puts his feet down, shutting the engine off.
Not that Wei Ying is complaining but- “What um...whatcha doing?” He asks after they sit for a minute, no sound but the lapping of the water on the shore and the thrumming of cicadas.
Jiang Cheng shrugs, the movement jostling where Wei Ying still has his hands around his waist. “It’s your favourite spot isn’t it? You always squeeze tighter when we pass by.” He says like that’s a real answer.
“Um yeah. Totally.” Wei Ying replies. They fall into another few minutes of silence just watching the lotus flowers sway in the gentle breeze.
Jiang Cheng speaks up again, unprompted. His words are a bit stilted, like he’s grinding them out. “You’re upset, right? I just thought...” he trails off and shrugs again. “I know things...suck. For you. A lot of the time. So I just wanted to...like remind you I guess. That even when it sucks, some things don’t suck you know? Like this place, you like it yeah? You like it here in Yunmeng. Just remember when other stuff is dragging you down this place will be here for you. And like, us too. Me and jiejie and dad. We’re here for you, or whatever.”
Wei Ying’s heart throbs in his chest. Unlike his sister who pours her affection out in everything she does, Jiang Cheng keeps his close to the chest, until it bursts out of him all at once. So when it happens it sort of feels like being punched in the stomach. Too choked up to formulate a response that feels good enough, he tightens his grip around his brother and hugs tight. Their helmets knock together kind of awkwardly but it’s still a nice moment.
They get home just in time to see Jin Zixuan’s car pulling out the other side of the driveway. Wei Ying jumps off the bike as soon as it’s stopped and jogs straight to the foyer to intercept Jiang Yanli with a load of groceries. Wei Ying immediately commandeers all of the bags and follows her into the kitchen. They unpack side-by-side, separating out the ingredients for a dinner of meatballs and cabbage fry from the other weekly groceries. “How was your appointment?” Jiang Yanli asks, like she does every week despite the fact that there hasn’t been anything new to report in ages.
“Fine, fine!” Wei Ying answers breezily, transferring a bag of oranges into the fruit bowl that lives on the island counter. “Doc says everything looks normal; I’m in peak physical condition. Just, you know, my bad brain is still bad. But what else is new.” And then - because there’s no use hiding it when Jiang Yanli gets the records from each appointment emailed to her, and it’ll be better if he just tells her now, “They’re upping the dose on my meds."
The rustling of plastic bags halts as Jiang Yanli turns to face him. “They’re increasing? What for? If anything they should be tying to get you off them by this point, if everything is normal.”
“Ah just because of the nightmares I think. It’s no big deal.”
She grabs his elbow, swinging him around to look at her. “You didn’t tell me that they were back again, I thought they were under control.”
And they had been; over the course of the summer it had been like something clicked into place. Ms Yu had been in Paris for a month, and the holiday had passed in peaceful bliss. They’d gone down to the lake nearly every day, swimming and hiking and rowing, eating picnic lunches on the dock as the sun turned their skin nut brown. Wei Ying would rally the local kids into all sorts of games, great scavenger hunts and races and kite flying. They’d stayed outdoors until well after dark, the air still hot even at night. He got in the habit of helping out at a local bar on Fridays. He couldn’t legally have a job at this point, they were still working on getting him his papers, but they’d let him clear dishes and wipe tables in exchange for some of the delicious home-brewed rice wine.
Whether it was from the carefree lack of obligations, or that he was too tired from running around all day to dream at all; it had been the most at peace Wei Ying had felt. He’d felt normal for the first time in memory. But once school had resumed and Ms Yu returned from her travels, all of the expectations had brought the anxiety and the nightmares flooding back.
“Don’t worry jiejie, some setbacks are to be expected, healing isn’t linear you know!” He parrots what all of the doctors are always telling him. “Besides I feel fine. The meds are mostly just to help me sleep.”
Her face is still pinched with worry, but she doesn’t push the subject, just sighs and gives his shoulder a rub before returning to the groceries. “How was your lunch date?” Wei Ying asks, to lighten the mood. Bizarre as it is, nothing makes Jiang Yanli happier than to gush about her prick of a boyfriend.
“Oh it was wonderful!” She answers as she tears open the packs of ground pork and dumps them into a big mixing bowl, “A-Xuan took me to the new French cafe that just opened and we ate outside on the patio it was perfect. They had these lovely mini quiches in a bunch of different flavours, and A-Xuan insisted we get one of each even though I told him it would be too much food. There was this extra spicy one you would love, we should go sometime so you can try it. Oh and then we went to the park to watch the musician play for a while.”
“Ah yes your mysterious musician!” Wei Ying nudges her teasingly, “This supposed beautiful stranger who plays a guqin of all things in the public park that definitely totally exists. Yes. I definitely believe you.”
Jiang Yanli shoves a cutting board and bundle of green onions at him with more force than necessary, “A-Ying, he’s real, I promise you! Why would I lie about something like this? Just because you’re so unobservant that you’ve never noticed him even though you pass the park every day on your way to the station-“
“Hey I am not that oblivious!” He protests, fetching a knife from the drawer and starting to slice. “I swear I’ve literally never seen him! Even I wouldn’t miss a grown man with a giant antique instrument in a tiny park. All I’m saying is that you need to at least consider the possibility that he’s a ghost. Or a figment of your imagination.”
“How could he be a figment of my imagination when A-Xuan has seen him too? We sat and listened to him for an hour today!”
“That proves absolutely nothing.” Wei Ying insists, “If you were having public hallucinations, Jin Zixuan would simply feel too embarrassed to call you out on it. And now he’s left it too long to say anything. Now he has to keep up the farce for the rest of his life.”
Jiang Yanli dissolves into helpless giggles. “Nooo don’t be mean! Poor A-Xuan!” Although she does concede, “Oh but I must admit that would be very in character.”
“This is what I’ve been saying.” Wei Ying nods, quite satisfied with his victory.
Measuring out a spoonful of sesame oil, Jiang Yanli shakes her head, “Well, would you please pass your poor, crazy sister two eggs when you have a moment?”
Setting down the knife, Wei Ying opens the fridge, but finds the shelf where the eggs usually live to be empty. “Jie, I think we’re out.”
“What? No we should still have half a carton...” she trails off and then groans, hand going to her forehead, “I completely forgot! We used the last of them in the custard last night. Oh no, and we’ve already started the meatballs. Maybe A-cheng can pop out and get some, would you go see if he’s busy?”
“No need, I’ll go.” Wei Ying says. Jiang Cheng has been chauffeuring him around the city all day, he deserves a break. “I think they have eggs at the gas station. I can make it in twenty minutes if I run, that way you can keep prepping.”
Jiang Yanli fetches her purse and counts out a handful of bills. “If you’re sure you feel up to it. But you don’t need to run, all of this can hold.”
“No problem, I’ll be back before you know it.” He pecks her on the cheek, “Don’t miss me too much!”
The Jiang’s house is in one of the wealthier neighbourhoods in town, one where the properties are all huge and walled in, the houses set so far back that you can’t see them from the street. It’s thickly forested and even with the streetlights on it’s dark. Wei Ying isn’t nervous exactly, it’s a very safe area and he’s walked this way many times. But there’s a fog rolling up the hill - probably coming up off the lake as the air cools - that’s making the woods extra spooky tonight. Feeling a little jittery, he speeds up and whistles a random tune to distract himself.
It takes maybe eight or nine minutes to reach the bottom of the hill, where their winding street meets the main road into town. The gas station there is small, just a couple self-serve pumps, but it’s got a corner store that provides the bare essentials for the residents in the area. The store is a garish beacon of LED lights in the otherwise tranquil darkness of the forest. Dozens of confused moths have converged all over the building, fluttering around lost in the glare. Wei Ying flaps away a couple that cling to the door handle, and pushes in with a tinkle of bells. The employee behind the counter barely glances up from his phone at him.
The lights above the fridges are in the process of burning out, with one lone bulb of the four flickering in weak death throes. As if gas stations at night aren’t already a surreal enough space. Wei Ying stands in front of the cooler taking a minute to debate between getting the regular carton or the double. They go through a lot of eggs, but if Ms Yu catches wind that he was the one who bought it she’ll probably get on his case about wasting grocery money or something.
Beside him there’s a wall of windows that looks out across the main road. With all the lights on inside it’s like a mirror, reflecting the store and blocking out the outside world. But when the burnt out lights flicker off the corner is dark enough to see out. And it’s during one of these times that Wei Ying sees him.
There’s a man standing in the trees. He’s dressed all in white, vivid against the black forest. Wei Ying squints around in confusion, there are no cars in the lot, where had he come from? He’s just...standing there motionless, up to his knees in bushes. Staring straight across the street. Straight at Wei Ying. With the swirling mist and his white clothes he looks like some sort of ghostly spirit.
A chill runs up Wei Ying’s spine. It’s too far to see his facial features but Wei Ying feels certain his eyes are on him. Watching. Creeped out, he quickly opens the fridge to grab one of the regular cartons and moves out of sight of the window.
He doesn’t really want to go back outside with that strange guy lurking out there. But Jiejie is waiting for these eggs. Wei Ying drags his feet on his way to the cashier, stopping to browse the magazines for a couple minutes in hopes that by the time he pays and leaves the weirdo will be gone.
Just as he’s heading to the cashier all of the lights in the store go out at once. Since he’s already tense, Wei Ying yelps in surprise. The cashier is less outwardly phased, letting out an annoyed grumble. “You’re gonna have to leave. Can’t have you in here with no power.”
Fine, he was about to go anyway. “Okay but can I still get these? I really need them. I’ve got cash.”
“Yeah fine, won’t be able to give you change though. Can’t open the register.”
“No worries you can keep it.” It takes a second to fumble with the money in the dark. As Wei Ying goes to deposit it into the other man’s palm, another wave of chills passes through him, violent enough that his hand twitches and drops the money on the counter. “Ah sorry.”
And then - a noise. Without the buzz of the lights and the radio that had been playing before the electricity failed, the store had been still and silent. But now in the silence there comes a sound unlike anything Wei Ying has ever heard. It’s a long, continuous hum, starting low and then getting louder as if whatever making it is approaching them. There’s an edge of a whine to it that grated in Wei Ying’s ears, setting his teeth on edge. But it’s also strangely musical, dipping and swooping in some pattern that Wei Ying’s ears try and fail to follow.
He’s shaking even harder now, he registers, his whole body trembling. The skin of his arms are thick with goose-bumps even though the air had been warm and humid just moments ago. “What the hell is that?” He gasps, bringing a hand to press to his temple.
The cashier frowns at him, “What is what? Hey are you okay man? You don’t look so good.“
Wei Ying spins around, trying to figure out where the source of the sound is. It doesn’t seem to be resonating from any one direction, it feels like it’s coming from everywhere. And it’s ringing around in his skull getting more overwhelming every second. “What do you mean - can’t you hear it? It’s so-! Ah it hurts!”
The cashier comes around the counter and takes him by the elbow, guiding him to come sit down in his vacated chair. Grateful, Wei Ying hunches over and fists his hands over his ears. This does not actually help, the sound can either pierce through flesh and bone or it really is all in his head.
“Hey, I’m going to go out to the road to make a call; reception is better out there. You want me to call an ambulance?”
Wei Ying grabs the man’s arm and shakes his head vigorously, “No!” He gasps, “No ambulance! Can you call, my house is just up the road, my sister will be worried, can you call-” he reaches for his pocket where his cell should be but comes up empty. Shit. He’d put it down on the kitchen counter and must’ve forgotten to grab it when he left. “N-no ambulance.” He repeats. “I’ll be fine, I just need a minute.”
“Okay buddy.” The man looks doubtful but leaves him and heads outside. Wei Ying watches him walk away, lit by a handful of emergency lights that must be hooked to a backup generator.
Somehow, Wei Ying knows that something bad is going to happen before it does. The noise in his head peaks in a blaring crescendo and his heart seizes in sudden, pure dread. He shoots to his feet and cries out wordlessly, as if he’ll be able to do anything. And then he watches helplessly as something hurtles out of the darkness and slams into the man. The impact sends him flying into a metal guard rail, hitting with sickening force. The attacker jumps on the fallen man and proceeds to rip him apart. Not beating the shit out of him, literally ripping him apart. Wei Ying sees a piece of something go flying, and what looks like a spray of blood.
“Fuck!” Wei Ying shouts, before he can think better of it, then clamps a hand to his mouth. He’s shaking harder than ever, and high pitched sobs keep tearing out of his chest. He bites down hard on his palm to try and stifle the sound. What the fuck is happening. That thing out there had looked human shaped, but it was moving like an animal. Fast and ferocious and so so violent.
What to do what to do? He doesn’t have a phone and the power is out and he’s trapped here all alone with a monster outside. And the poor cashier - Wei Ying has never even learned his name. He’s been coming to this store for a year and never bothered to ask, why hadn’t he asked? That’s so rude! And now he’s most likely dead. From what Wei Ying saw, he can’t imagine that he isn’t dead.
Okay, what’re his options? Running is out, that thing moved so fast there’s no way he’ll be able to outrun it. He should just hide here and hope it leaves right? Oh! He needs to lock the door. He needed to have locked the door yesterday.
Getting to his feet brings a wave of nausea that nearly sends him back down again. Catching himself on the counter he knocks the egg carton, sending it tumbling to the ground. The sight of all of the eggs splitting open and spilling their insides across the tile makes his stomach heave. Closing his eyes for a moment, Wei Ying drags in deep breaths, pressing his aching forehead to the cool countertop.
Then he moves. The front door is maybe five meters away but it feels like an ocean. Shoes crunching on egg shells he staggers to the door, he’s shaking so violently it takes a couple tries to grip the deadbolt. The click of it sliding into place feels as loud as a gun-shot.
Only once it’s locked does he hazard a glance outside. What he sees makes a cold sweat break out on his forehead. The /thing/ is still standing over the prone body of the cashier, but it’s staring right at Wei Ying. It’s definitely a person, but it looks totally fucked up. It’s skin is deathly pale and crossed with strange black lines. And it’s eyes. It’s eyes. They’re pitch black, with no delineation of pupil or iris to be seen.
The buzzing noise gets so loud it’s almost a roar.
Stumbling away, Wei Ying slips on the egg slime on his shoes, crashing to the floor and jarring his knees. On all fours he crawls into the shelves to hide. Pushing aside bags of chips to make a peek hole he looks back to the front, praying against all likelihood that the thing won’t bother with him. That it’ll just disappear back into the night and leave him alone.
Of course it doesn’t. It’s approaching now, walking upright but moving strangely, like it’s limbs are all out of sync. It collides with the window hard, shaking the frame as it hits the glass repeatedly with its fists, and then it starts throwing its entire body at the window. Wei Ying could have sworn he’d heard that gas-station windows are made from reinforced glass, but under this barrage the pane starts to creak ominously. And then horrifyingly a crack appears, and on the next impact it shatters completely and the monster is in the store.
With the same terrifying speed it comes charging towards where Wei Ying is hiding, zeroing in like a shark to blood. It ignores the obstacles between them, crashing straight through, sending heavy shelves and food raining to the ground.
The next minute is pure chaos of noise and pain, some of the metal shelves fall on top of him, which might actually buy him some time, but it hurts like a bitch. Through the gaps he can see flashes of a face twisted in pure animal fury, gnashing teeth, a lolling tongue drooling something dark that might be blood. It’s hands claw at him, while it’s weight crushes everything down on top of him. Everything is loud and crushing and hurting.
Then as suddenly as it started, the creature is gone and the pressure eases a bit; he can still hear it snarling over the ringing in his ears, but it’s across the room now. Dragging his sore limbs out from under the mess it’s all he can do to crawl as fast as he can down the aisle. He doesn’t get far before he’s grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked backward.
Too winded to scream, Wei Ying squeezes his eyes shut and waits for pain. Instead, his centre of gravity tilts as he’s pulled up from the ground and swung off his feet. There’s a rush of air and a temperature change and when he opens his eyes his vision is full of blinding white.
His facilities catch up one after another, taking in his new situation. He’s being held, cradled like a baby with an arm under his knees and one gripping his shoulders. Instinctively he’s curled against the person holding him to press his face to their shoulder. The white that he sees is the fabric of their shirt, cool and smooth under his cheek. They’re moving, and fast, and they’re outside. Which means they’ve escaped. Wei Ying had been so sure he was about to die.
Just as he’s making sense of things, they stop moving. The person carrying him shifts their hold as they sink to the ground, letting go of his legs to set him gently down, although the arm around his shoulders stays.
“Wei Ying.” The voice is deep enough that it vibrates along the side of his body where they’re still pressed together. “Wei Ying, take a breath.”
What a good idea. Wei Ying takes a ragged breath, and then another and another in rapid succession. He’s hyperventilating, and making himself dizzy with it. His rescuer rubs circles on his back, bringing his other hand to guide Wei Ying’s face up and away from his chest. Which does make it a bit easier to breath and after a minute his heart slows to a pace that doesn’t feel like it’s trying to gallop out of his chest.
This man who just saved him is the same one who’d been standing in the woods. Before everything went to shit. When all Wei Ying had to worry about was a sort of creepy dude watching him from across the street. He’s staring at Wei Ying intently, with his hand still cupping his face. It’s an incredibly intimate position to be in with a stranger but hey, it is far from the weirdest thing that happened tonight.
There’s a tickle around his hairline that suddenly slides down his brow, and when he lift his hand to swat at it his fingers come away wet. “Oh!” He says faintly, oddly detached. No wonder he’s so dizzy, that’s a fair amount of blood.
His rescuer moves his hand to part Wei Ying’s hair, using his sleeve to press down. He’s being gentle, but it still stings enough that Wei Ying can’t stop an involuntary whimper. “You will be alright.” The man says, “It is not serious.”
There’s an odd accent to his words, an unfamiliar lilt that Wei Ying has never heard before. It’s sort of sweet to the ear, soft rounded syllables out of place with the man’s stoic expression. He‘s very calm despite what just went down, not even breathing hard. Wei Ying pushes back, putting a bit more distance between them. “What. What the fuck is happening?”
The man breaks eye contact, turning to look off into the darkness, and doesn’t answer. Wei Ying still has his fist curled in his lapel, which he uses it to drag the guy back to face him again. “Hey! What the fuck was that thing? How did you- it /killed/ that guy! We need to call somebody, we need to- oh god."
Wei Ying pulls himself out of the man’s arms just in time to roll over and puke into the bushes.
Since he’d only eaten the soup and buns all day, there isn’t much to come up. When it’s over the man‘s cool expression is still in place and he hasn’t recoiled in disgust. “What was that thing?” Wei Ying croaks. “You know what it is don’t you?”
After another long minute of unreadable staring the man nods. His answer is short, clipped like everything he’s said so far, “A fierce corpse.”
“A fierce what? A corpse? Please elaborate, what’s that supposed to mean?”
“A person who died a bad death will become a fierce corpse when resurrected. Corrupted by resentment they will seek an outlet for their rage by attacking others.”
“R-resurrected?” Wei Wing balks. He’s saying these crazy things as if he’s reciting facts out of a textbook. Like he’s not spouting some of the wildest nonsense Wei Ying has ever heard in a total deadpan. “Like a zombie? You’re telling me that was a zombie back there?”
Something flickers across the man’s face too fast for Wei Ying to read. “If you must call it that. The modern invention of a ‘zombie’ leaves much to be desired.”
“But it’s a dead person come back to life right? That’s a zombie my dude.”
The next flicker that passes across his face is clearly annoyance. “Okay let's say I believe you and that’s a zombie, what do we do now?” Wei Ying has only seen a few episodes The Walking Dead. Which doesn’t seem like a very useful reference point for their predicament. “Do we call the police? The army? Whose jurisdiction is this?”
“They will not be able to stop it.”
“What do you mean? They have guns! And tanks and stuff. Who else would be able to stop it!”
“Fierce corpses cannot be harmed by human weapons. A gunshot wound will heal immediately. Even injury from a tank shell will eventually be overcome.”
This guy. He could try having a little bedside manner. “What do you suggest then since you’re such an expert?” Wei Ying snaps. The man shifts, and for the first time Wei Ying notices how oddly he’s dressed. The white suit he’s wearing is normal enough, if weirdly formal for a nighttime hike through the forest. But layered overtop is a long white robe with draping sleeves. It looks like real silk, with delicate embroidery of swirling clouds and rolling mountains. And laying on the ground by his bent knee is a goddamn sword. An elaborate, traditional, genuine effing sword with an ornate white and silver scabbard and what appears to be jade inlaid in the handle. “Are you going to fight it? You managed to knock it down right? When you saved me? Are you a zombie hunter?”
The man shakes his head, “I cannot defeat the corpse either.”
The panic that had eased with their escape is gradually creeping back. There is a zombie on the loose in their neighbourhood that has already killed one person, who will apparently keep killing people on it’s undead vengeance rampage. Wei Ying jumps to his feet, pacing around their small patch of forest thrumming with restless fear. “You’re saying what? That there’s nothing we can do? It’s invincible? It’s just going to keep attacking people and there’s no way to stop it?”
The man looks up from where he’s still crouching. The moonlight falls on his upturned face and Wei Ying is struck with another one of those full body shivers. “There is only one person who can defeat it.” He says.
“Great! Who is it? Where are they? Get them on the phone!”
The man just continues to gaze at him. “What? Stop fucking staring at me! What are you waiting for?”
“Wei Ying.”
And that’s when it clicks. “How do you know my name? Do you know me? Wait! Do you know me from before? You-” he stumbles over his words, mouth suddenly dry. “You know who I am?”
The man stands up, sword held loosely at his side. He doesn’t answer any of the questions that spill out of Wei Ying. “Wei Ying is the only one in the world who can kill the fierce corpse.” He says.
“M-me? What are you talking about, did you not see what happened back there? I was completely helpless! If you hadn’t shown up that thing would have obliterated me!”
The man takes a step forward and Wei Ying automatically takes one back, stumbling back away from him. “You have forgotten how to fight.” The man says, “I can help you remember. If that is what you wish.”
“If that is what-!” Wei Ying gapes, too stunned for words. Does he wish to go back and face that monster again? Hell no! The mere thought of going back fills him with choking terror. All he wants to do is run as fast as possible back to the house where Jiang Yanli is waiting to make supper, where it’s warm and bright and safe in the walls of their house and he can forget everything that he’s witnessed tonight.
But then he hears it. In the distance the sound of a familiar engine. Wei Ying’s head whips toward the noise, to where the road lies just out of sight. No no no, what the fuck is Jiang Cheng doing out? The sound of the motorcycle gets closer and closer until it passes them, continuing on down the hill. Towards the gas station. Towards the murderous zombie. Without a second thought Wei Ying starts to run through the trees in the same direction.
He can hear that the man is following close behind. Together they spill out of the forest and onto the road just in time to see the taillight of Jiang Cheng’s motorcycle disappearing around a bend. Wei Ying spins and grabs the trailing sleeve of the man’s robe. “That’s my brother! He’s heading straight toward it! We have to save him!”
In response the man reaches out with his other hand, placing it lightly on Wei Ying’s heaving chest, right at the place where his rib-cage splits. Wei Ying is shaking harder than ever, vibrating out of his skin under the man’s fingers. “Do you wish to remember how to fight?” He asks again.
Wei Ying just wants his brother to be safe. Nodding desperately he closes his hands over the man’s wrist and presses it harder to his sternum. “Help me save him!”
The man nods solemnly and then-
And then-
It’s too hot.
A pulse of electricity that explodes in his chest.
There’s so much everywhere, too much, and it’s filling him up and there’s no room for it all but it just keeps coming. The pain, the anger, the hatred.
The ringing in his ears takes on a new pitch, it’s just as loud but suddenly it makes sense. Where before it had sounded like pure chaos now it sounds like a song, like a song that Wei Ying knows. He knows because it belongs to him, it’s his song.
The air is so thick that every move makes his body scream, the limits of his human form pushed and surpassed, his muscles tearing and then re-knitting, his vessels bursting a nd then healing over and over again with every move he makes. Even just lifting his flute to his mouth sends agony rattling through his whole arm, drawing a breath punctures both lungs, blowing into the mouthpiece rips his throat into a thousand lacerations.
The man takes his hand away and Wei Ying takes a moment to just stand there, as the energy courses it’s way through his body. But just for a moment, they don’t have time for more. Without a word he spins and takes off running down the street, running fast, faster than he’d been able to run a minute ago. His companion follows, as he always does, a silent constant presence at his back. He’s not quite fast enough to catch up to a motorcycle but he’s not far behind. Jiang Cheng is only just pulling to a stop when Wei Ying comes into sight on the hill above.
Even though it’s still dark and they’re still far away, Wei Ying can see everything in the parking lot in clear, vivid detail. He sees as Jiang Cheng climbs off the bike, removing his helmet and looking around. Sees as he fails to notice the fierce corpse that lurks in the shadows of the pumps, sees as he catches sight of the body of the cashier on the ground. Sees as Jiang Cheng walks over to the body and crouches down, heedless of the monster who will enact the same violence on him in a matter of seconds. The fierce corpse had seemed impossibly fast before, but Wei Ying is looking through new eyes now. When it charges toward Jiang Cheng, he sees how slow it really is. There’s plenty of time to stop it.
For lack of his flute all Wei Ying can do is scream. It’s enough, his song is what matters; the instrument is merely a conduit. His wordless cry echoes through the night and stops the corpse in its tracks. Wei Ying can’t control it completely with his voice, this is not one of his corpses after all. But it’s powerful enough to slow it down. Running, he reaches the parking lot and takes up position between the corpse and Jiang Cheng, sizing the monster up. It’s a relatively crude one, not particularly artfully made, slapdash really. It’s totally mindless, that much is obvious at once. No shred of rationality left. Which makes it at once less complicated but more difficult. This kind of mindless corpse makes up for its lack of intelligence with pure brute force. Wei Ying is still greatly weakened and it would be a very bad idea to try to fight it himself.
Jiang Cheng is yelling at him, but Wei Ying doesn’t have time to deal with him yet. Pressing his lips together he whistles a clear ringing note, wake up he implores, come and get your revenge my friend.
At his beck, the body of the gas station attendant twitches. Yes, good my friend. Rise now and seek justice for what has been done to you.
Jiang Cheng screams as the newly made fierce corpse rises. With far more grace than the other, Wei Ying’s corpse strides forward, gaining speed to run past them and throw itself onto its murderer. The two monsters tear at each other, under Wei Ying’s direction his corpse quickly gains the upper hand and wrestles the first one to the ground. Once it’s pinned down he strides forward, and closing his eyes he sends his energy down into the writhing monster.
Even with his powers reawakened, he’s running at a far reduced level to what he’s used to. He manages it but just barely, the amount of energy needed to turn the fierce corpse to dust completely drains him. It is done, but it leaves him empty. Darkness rushes him and he feels himself falling, his vision going narrowing to a pin-prick. He’s conscious just just long enough to fall into the arms that await him, to look up briefly into the face above, to reach up and touch his cheek-
Everything goes black.