Chapter Text
Zhongli watched as the bloody corpses laid beneath your feet, the field splattered in the ugly red of blood, the horrible stench filling up the surrounding air. Inazuma had declared war on Liyue, and Liyue was severely short in manpower and resources after the incident caused by Childe. As compensation for causing such a huge mess, the Tsarista offered to deliver one of her treasured harbingers, the twelfth harbinger, to aid Liyue’s battle.
His heart almost stops at the sight of you, eyes widening. He wasn’t expecting you, not you, not the adeptus he gave up on. The child he abandoned.
“You’ve grown up.” He tried to stay as composed as possible, hoping the shakiness in his voice was not obvious. His eyes wavered dangerously, ineffable emotions rising up his chest.
“It has, Zhongli.” You are all tall now, unlike the small child you once were, even taller than Xiao who is more or less the same age as you. Your voice deepened a lot more, no longer having the childishness in, body figure well developed and muscles bulging as you gripped your sword, scars on your body visible.
Zhongli’s hand trembled, feeling as if he’d break down any time soon. He didn’t know why you appeared so emotionless, he didn’t know why your arms, you legs- where cloth didn’t cover, scars showed. He hasn’t visited Snezhnayan ever since the archon war, he never once heard of how you are over there. He felt guilty, ashamed, and avoided any sort of information relating to you. After millenniums of separated from you, he never saw you back. This surprise from the Tsarista, surely she knows what’s up when she sent you over to aid Liyue.
“How have you been?” He tried hard not to stutter. Zhongli never actively sought for information of you for millenniums, but you never left his mind, the precious child who he failed to raise.
“Okay.” Your answer was short and cold, you didn’t show any sort of disgust or hatred towards him, however. You gaze, much like your lonely figure, was cold and dull.
What happened to you after he sent you away? What made you like this? He recalled you running gleefully around the city with Xiao, your smile as bright as the sun when you held hands with Ganyu and Xiao, sitting on the three children’s father figure- him, giggling as you write your wishes on the lanterns and releasing them. The time the four of you enjoyed a nice day of picnic, the times all three of his precious children spent their time together like a real family. Everything went downhill afterwards.
“I’ve always regretted it.” The rushing memories and overwhelming emotions took the best of him, as he clenched his chest and the bitter words spilling from his mouth.
“I’m not sure how to respond to that, Zhongli.” You stared down at the archon, watching him as his eyes reflected your figure, and pain.
“Aren’t you mad at me? Don’t you resent me? For abandoning you? For giving you up to trade peace with the Tsarista?” Zhongli’s voice cracked.
“No. I feel nothing. So I suppose you shouldn’t feel guilt ridden too. You did it for the safety of Liyue, after all.” You answered plainly, not understanding his intentions of bringing up what happened long ago in the past at all.
Zhongli knew, knew how you became an emotionless doll, knew how you could not feel anything from the way you slaughtered the battlefield without batting an eye, from the way your dull eyes looked and your words containing no sort of emotion in them. He had a hunch that you would not leave a string of attachment in this world if you died. You couldn’t feel anything. The very last time he witnessed you displaying intense and genuine emotions, was when he agreed to give you up, when he decided to sacrifice you to the Tsarista. You were still a very young adeptus back then, weeping as the Fatui rips you apart from zhongli’s side, screaming as you watched zhongli only stood afar, letting the fatui take you away, eyes widening in despair as the small hands you reached out in attempt to grab Zhongli’s hand didn’t budge to reach for you. That was the last time he saw you, when you still had emotions, when your true feelings are displayed on your face like any other regular human. It was all his fault, you were no longer the precious child who loved the world. Zhongli would have preferred if you resented him, if you screamed at him for abandoning you with such ease, hated him for throwing away the family-like bond you shared like it was nothing.
Zhongli wanted to hug you, to beg for forgiveness, to say that he’s sorry. But he knows he doesn’t deserve to do this. After you were forced to leave with the Tsarista, Xiao and Ganyu changed, drastically. They grew further apart, no longer the close friends they once were, Ganyu indulged herself in endless piles of work; Xiao being closed off to others and distancing himself from humans. But nobody blamed Zhongli, nobody blamed him for giving you up. Zhongli doesn’t know what he should do anymore, how would he explain it to Xiao and Ganyu? How would they react when they see you? To see you moving under Tsarista’s order like a war tool, sweeping the battlefield without a single hint of emotion in your eyes.
“Will you return to Liyue...return to us?” He asked hopefully, extending a hand to you. Maybe he could still repair this broken relationship, maybe he could have his child back, have his children reunite and live on the same land again, maybe it was a chance offered by the Tsarista, to pick back up the abandoned child.
“I work under the Tsarista.” You watched as his hands extended out to you, in attempt to hold your hands. But you didn’t budge, not reaching out to the offered hands and only stared at them. It was his fault, Zhongli knows, it was all his fault, and the Tsarista was mocking him for it.