Chapter Text
Precariously balancing several boxes on top of a stack of files, Sam Carter carefully leaned down and pushed the up button on the SGC elevator with her elbow. She straightened back up and attempted to roll her shoulders without sending her items scattered all over the floor. Within a minute a ding announced that the elevator had arrived and she slipped in through the open doors.
She pushed her hip against the panel and hit the button for level 19, then leaned against the wall and sighed deeply. She was already mentally going through her to-do list and what she still needed to finish up on her latest project as the doors began to close. They were almost completely shut when a hand slid between them forcing them back open again.
Jack O’Neill sauntered onto the elevator and grinned when he caught sight of her.
“Hey Carter,” he said. “Heading home for the weekend?”
“Uh yeah sir,” she said, only sounding half convincingly while privately thinking she would be lucky to get away at all. “Just need to drop a few things off in my lab first.”
“Colonel,” he said sternly. “You better not be planning on spending the entire weekend here working.”
“Not planning on it sir,” she replied. “I just have to finish running a few simulations.”
“Well, the guys and I are…”
The sound of a phone ringing cut him off. “Ah Carter, you appear to be ringing,” he said.
“Yes sir,” she said, trying to shift the load into one arm to free a half without any success.
“Need some help?” he asked, watching her.
“Yes, thank you sir.”
She turned slightly to hand him the boxes at the same time he reached for her back pocket where the ringing was coming from. His fingers grazed her backside and lingered for a second longer. His touch was like a bolt of electricity that suddenly flared down her leg, leaving all her senses tingling.
“Ah sir,” she said hesitantly, nodding her chin to indicate the stack she was trying to hand him.
“Oh...right,” he said, quickly withdrawing his hand and taking the boxes out of her arms. Even though it had only been for a moment, the absence of his touch made her feel strangely empty.
She blinked twice, then quickly reached into her back pocket and pulled out her phone. She was too late though and it stopped ringing before she could flip it open. When she saw who it was a flush crept up her back and she quickly shoved it back in her pocket before holding her arms out to retrieve her items. The General was looking at her quizzically.
“Ah, it wasn’t important.” She said, waving a hand.
He stared at her, head tilted slightly to the side before handing back her boxes.
They were silent for a long minute as another floor ticked by. It seemed to Sam to be taking an inordinate amount of time to ascend today.
“So who was it?” The words came out casual, but in a rush, as if he couldn’t help himself asking.
“Oh. It uh, it was Pete.” She felt the flush on her neck spread to her face and deepen in color.
“Ah.”
It was only a single syllable but it cut her like a knife. It seemed to be made up of all the things they hadn’t said to each other over the years. It was a statement, a question, maybe even a confession, all rolled up into one sound.
She didn’t know how to respond, and she was suddenly, painfully aware of just how little she had discussed her current relationship with her CO. If anything, she went out of her way to avoid bringing it up around him.
“How are…?”
“Good, fine,” she rushed to get out, before he could even finish his sentence.
He nodded.
She took a deep breath. “Sir,” she began, when she was yet again interrupted by her phone’s piercing ring. She bit her lip and squeezed her eyes shut hard. She opened them again to see him staring at her.
“Persistent bas… fellow. Yep fellow,” he tried to cover himself by clearing his throat and holding out his arms yet again for her things. Mercifully there was a ding and the elevator doors slid open.
“That’s okay sir, I’ll call him back later,” she said, backing out through the doors and down the hall. “Have a good weekend!” she added over the sound of her ringing phone. For a second she thought he was going to come after her. He took a step towards the doors, but they slid shut, hiding him from her view.
The air in the hallway felt cool against the rush of heat she was sure was still visible on her face, and for a moment she didn’t understand what had happened to her. There was sudden silence as her phone finally stopped ringing again. She sighed, and slowly walked down the hallway towards her lab.
Still lost in thought Sam entered what she thought of as her sanctuary on the base, dropped the files on the table and set the boxes on top. She started as the phone on her wall began ringing.
“Carter,” she said, picking it up and tucking it under her chin.
“Hi Sam, it’s me!” Pete Shanahan’s voice came over the line. His cheery tone instantly grated her still frayed nerves after her encounter in the elevator.
“Pete, hi,” she said, trying to keep her voice even. “Uh, I’m at work.”
“I know, I know,” he said hurriedly. “I tried your cell a couple times, wasn’t sure if you were able to get it working down there.”
“Sorry,” she said, thinking she would have given anything for it not to have been working, “just caught me at a bad time. What’s up?”
“Did they come?”
“Did what come?”
“The invitations!”
“Invitations?” she asked blankly.
“Ha ha, very funny,” Pete answered, “they told me they would be delivered today.”
Sam cast a glance around her lab and noticed an unfamiliar cream box sitting on a table. She walked over, pulling the cord with her. It was addressed to her at the base, the return address said Fleur De Lis Custom Paperie in fancy script.
“Uh yeah, I think they’re here,” she said, wrapping the cord around her finger and suddenly very aware of the rushing sound in her ears and the way her heart had started pounding harder in her chest. Not in excited anticipation, but rather in a way tinted with trepidation.
“Great!” He enthused. “Would you mind getting them mailed out this weekend?”
“Oh. I kinda have a lot of work to get through.”
“I know we both have a lot going on, but I have to go to Denver for this case. Look, they’re already addressed, we had them do it from our guest list when we picked them out, remember? All you have to do is add the stamps and drop them in the mail.”
She sighed, louder than she intended.
“Common Sam,” he admonished. “You have to do something for the wedding.”
“I have!” She insisted. “I went to that tasting.”
“That was dinner out at a restaurant that just happened to also cater.”
“Okay, fine. I know. I’m just…”
“I know, I know, busy saving the world. Actually, I don’t have to leave for another couple hours. You could bring them over here and we could do them together.”
“Ah, I would Pete but I need to finish up a few things here before I head out.”
“Alright, say no more.” She knew he was trying to hide it but she could still hear the faint stab of disappointment in his voice.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay, I get it. But you’ll get those invites in the mail this weekend? They really need to go out.”
“Yeah, I will,” she heard herself saying.
“Thanks babe. I’ll call you when I get there.”
“Okay.”
“Love you.”
“You too.” The phone went dead and she walked back to the wall to set it back on the base. She hung her head for a moment, then squared her shoulders and turned to face the box.
She slid a finger under the side and pulled up the top. Rows of paper and envelopes greeted her eyes. Her fingers shook slightly as she reached for one and pulled it out. The edges of the thick cream paper were embossed with tiny delicate hearts and flowers. She read the words in the intricate loopy font and felt her breath hitch in her throat.
Peter Shanahan
and
Samantha Carter
Request the honor of your presence at their marriage
She pushed it back into the box without reading any more. The invitations felt so unfamiliar, so formal. So unlike anything she would have wanted.
She wracked her brain, but she had no memory of picking these out, and she couldn’t believe that she would have. She had the gate addresses to hundreds of planets stored in her mind. She could recite complex’s wormhole physics equations on demand but wedding planning felt like a blur to her, one vendor bled into the next. Pete seemed happy handling it so she let him. She glanced at samples he showered her, nodding her head, trying to feign enthusiasm in the process while meanwhile her mind drifted back to work, to SG-1, to….
She stopped herself as she always did when she felt her thoughts floating to what was out of reach.
She grabbed the roll of stamps that was in the box and started sticking them on the corners of the envelopes. They had a tiny picture of two birds perched in a heart. She hated them.
They had, at least, agreed on a small wedding so there weren’t too many of the envelopes to get through.
She grinned when she saw the envelope for Jacob Carter had no address on it, and she set it aside. There was one for Mark Carter and family. Ms. Cassandra Frasier. Cassie was her sole bridesmaid, and she reminded herself that they still needed to go dress shopping together. General George Hammond. It would be so good to see him again. Doctor Daniel Jackson. She was halfway through now.
Several more in and there it was scraped across the envelope in black ink. It hit her like a blow to the chest and she felt the air rush out of her lungs. General Johnathan O’Neill. She knew he would be at her wedding. How could he not be at her wedding? But she had never considered before this moment how it would feel to have him there.
To walk past him down the aisle, feeling his eyes on her. The same brown eyes she had stared at through a forcefield, as they both realized the full extent of their feelings for each other. The eyes that had been the first thing she saw when she woke up on Orilla after Fifth had let her go. The ones she could still get lost in.
What did it matter? She told herself firmly. Those feelings were in the past. It wasn’t possible and she had moved on. She was with Pete. She liked Pete, he made her laugh. Made her feel, for once, that her life was normal. She was happy, he made her happy.
But he hasn’t made you forget, whispered a voice from a remote part of her mind. No matter how happy she had convinced herself that she was, it was never enough to bury the past, to make her stop feeling the way she felt for the General. For Jack.
Could she do it? Could she stand up in front of him and tell Pete she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him?
She closed her eyes and an image sprung to her head of Pete staring at her expectantly, the officiant behind them. She looked away into their watching guests who were all a blur except him. She couldn’t tear her eyes away.
“Sam,” he said. “I will always be there for you, no matter what.”
“Sam?” Pete was saying.
“Do you?” the officiant said.
She looked back at Jack. “Believe me.” he said.
Her eyes flew open. Her heart was racing and she was fighting to pull in lungful's of air. She looked down at the envelope, the stamp was stuck to her finger. Her hand was shaking, frozen in midair over the invitation.
Her phone rang, interrupting her hesitation. For a moment she considered not answering it. How many times was Pete going to call? But she knew she couldn’t ignore her work line. She stuck the stamp on the edge of her desk and walked to answer it.
“Carter,” she said, trying to keep her voice sounding normal.
“Colonel,” said the General’s stern voice on the line. “What the hell are you still doing there? I told you not to work all weekend.”
“Sorry sir,” she said, unable to keep a small smile from spreading across her face.
“Daniel and Teal’c just got to O’Mally’s. Join us? There are some idiots here who need their asses whipped at pool.”
“Ah...” she hesitated for a second, looking at the box of invitations and the pile of files on her desk. “Yeah,” she heard herself say. “I’ll see you guys there.”
“Great! See you soon.”
She hung up the phone, grabbed her coat and walked out of her office without a backward glance.