Work Text:
That night.
He remembered that night well. He remembered it fondly.
They were in Rome, on their honeymoon actually. They had waited several months to take a honeymoon but it had been worth the wait. They had a splendid time, especially that night.
They had gone to the opera; Christine wore a breathtaking deep blue dress with a plunging neckline. He wore a tuxedo; she said he looked dashing. They had been so high on music, on each other, that every precautionary thought was gone as they rushed back to their hotel suite. Clothes discarded everywhere, the only sounds filling the room were sounds of their breaths, their passion, their…
He was getting worked up just thinking about it.
Christine’s gentle squeeze around his fingers brought him back to the present. To the sound of a beeping machine. A beeping machine that now produced a slight bump bump bump sound.
Christine’s azure eyes gazed lovingly up at him, tears filling them as she turned back to look at the screen. The very same screen where they both saw a baby. Their baby.
Erik was pleased to see Christine so happy, but he didn’t really know what to make of all this. It happened so fast, too fast he thought. He was a selfish husband; he wasn’t ready to share his beloved with another person just yet. But seeing Christine so elated… he couldn’t possibly let her know of his hesitations. He would let her enjoy this while he quietly worked through them on his own.
Taking a steadying breath, he bent down and placed a reverent kiss on her forehead, as they both studied the screen that revealed their future.
It had been about a month since that nerve-wracking doctor’s visit. In that time, Erik had come to terms with what their future held. He was actually becoming more excited about it.
He had been working through his reservations on his own; Christine was none the wiser.
Christine.
His lovely wife had been changing lately. She was always breathtaking but she truly had a glow about her now. And it didn’t hurt that she was so joyous about the news. She couldn't seem to do anything but smile these days. Her elation helped to slowly ease his reservations, one day at a time. How could he dislike something that she so clearly loved?
The proverbial nail in the coffin for his change of heart happened one morning a few days ago. He always rose before her, not because she slept in, he was just an extremely early riser. He was sitting on the sofa, drinking a cup of coffee when she bolted out of their room. Her eyes were wide and her smile was even wider.
“Here, feel this!” she squealed, running up to him. She grabbed his large hand and placed it on her lower belly. There wasn’t much to feel, except… there was a firmness, a slight bulge that he wouldn’t have noticed if she hadn’t shown him.
Erik’s eyes grew wide, his lips slightly parted as he took in a sharp breath. This is real, he thought. Of all the things he could have said, all the eloquent words that could have been uttered, all he managed to get out was a hushed “whoa.”
Christine beamed at him.
The rest of the day was spent with Christine chatting excitedly about baby names, whether she thought it was a boy or girl, what color they should paint the nursery. Erik seemed to be in a daze; he obviously knew their lives would be changing but after seeing it, feeling it? It was as if he was hearing the news for the first time all over again. All he could think was this is happening… this is really happening.
They enjoyed a quiet evening together lounging and reading in front of the fire. So far Christine had felt very well, no morning sickness or any sort of discomfort. She did, however, begin to tire more easily. It was completely understandable; she’s making a person, after all Erik thought.
They slipped from the living room into bed and assumed their normal positions: Christine as the little spoon and Erik as the big spoon. Christine was asleep almost instantly; Erik, not so much. While his wife slept, he brought his arm around to rest lightly where their child was growing. He reflected on the day, especially this morning's event. He never imagined loving anyone or being loved himself. Then Christine came along and brightened his world in an unimaginable way. Now there will be two people for him to love. Love… he couldn’t control the smile that finally found its way to his lips. I… I think I already love them.
In fact, he knew he already loved this child; his child. When Christine put his hand on her belly, the contact sent a shock straight to his chest. He hadn’t known what to think of it at the time, but now he realized what it was. That’s what love feels like… right? A lightning bolt to the heart. This love felt different than his love for Christine; just as fervent, but different.
While Erik was relieved to finally feel something positive about the situation, he couldn’t help the slight fear he felt at such a responsibility. Loving Christine was easy; for one thing, she was a fully capable adult who didn’t require his attention merely to survive. I don’t know how to be a father. What if I mess them up? What if they don’t love me as much as I love them? What if… Christine shifted in her sleep, causing his hand to rub against her little baby bump. It was a small motion, but it seemed to be what Erik needed to calm his troubled mind. It grounded him.
I won’t be alone. She’ll be with me every step of the way. He breathed a sigh of relief and settled in, rubbing her little belly a few more times before slipping into a peaceful sleep.