Chapter Text
“your hair is really soft, wakatoshi-kun.”
tendō absentmindedly raked his fingers through olive-brown hair, eyes glued to the screen of his laptop playing some trashy horror movie he had chosen for their movie night tonight. he leaned down to plant a kiss on ushijima’s head, who rested comfortably on tendō’s chest, watching the scene on the screen just as intently as his boyfriend.
ushijima hummed in place of an answer, a low but comforting sound that never failed to make tendō’s heart flutter.
he brought up his hand and started tracing over the redhead’s light chest and ab muscles that he barely felt through the fabric of his shirt.
said shirt had started to ride up the smallest bit, caused by both of the boys shifting in their positions every so often, and tendō couldn’t help but wince when his boyfriend’s cold hands grazed the now-exposed part of his stomach and waist.
“are you okay?” for the first time since they had started the movie, ushijima looked back at his boyfriend, letting his gaze travel over his upper body as the latter settled back into his former position, head leaning against the headboard.
“fine, your hands were just really cold. it’s okay, though, i don’t mind it.” he added quickly when he felt ushijima start to pull away his hands.
he nodded in response, taking in tendō’s red eyes for another moment before settling his eyes on the exposed skin again.
“satori?”, he started, dragging his calloused fingertips over the horizontal lines that stood out against the pale, smooth skin, “can i ask you something?”
tendō sighed in amusement. “i’m not gonna explain the entire lore of the ring movies to you again, babe. maybe after we finish the movie.”
ushijima shook his head slightly, all while still caressing tendō’s side, “no, i think i’ve got that now. i was talking about your scars here?”
for just a second, the redhead stopped, he had almost forgotten he still carried these with him, before letting a lazy half-smile spread across his lips.
“don’t worry, wakatoshi-kun, they’re from way back in middle school. i used to be in a really bad place, before i ended up here. i guess, before i met you. but i’ve been doing really well for the past three years, so-”
“do you hate them?”
tendō let out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding in. he knew he could trust wakatoshi, of course, but confessing something like this still had him nervously chewing on the inside of his cheek.
“not exactly. sometimes i wish i didn’t have them, but they remind me that i went through hell once already and made it out, so now there’s pretty much nothing that could stop me anymore.”
ushijima lifted his head slightly, eyes scanning over his boyfriend’s face. he had always had a difficulty reading people and telling when they were lying, but for some reason, it was easier with tendō.
everything was easier with tendō.
“i love you, satori.”
his eyes widened slightly at the sudden confession, the sarcastic comment he had prepared for emergency awkward situations stuck in his throat as a pink hue spread over his face, tinting even his ears.
“that’s the first time either of us said that” he observed instead, voice several pitches higher than usual.
“i’m sorry, i thought it was alright to say it. you don’t have to say it back-”
“i love you, too!”, tendō quickly said as he leapt forward to connect his and ushijima’s lips with a soft kiss.
wakatoshi smiled into the kiss, feeling his body relax as he tangled his hand in a mess of bright red hair.
he could stay like this forever.
“tendō? hey, are you guys in here?”
the voice, accompanied by knocking on the door of their dorm room, caused the couple to break apart, a hint of panic showing on ushijima’s face as he backed away from tendō who, in turn, focussed his attention back to the movie that was still playing.
“yeah, come in, semi.”
following the invitation, the door opened, revealing the tired setter leaning against the doorframe. “i think shirabu forgot his textbook here when you helped him study, tendō, mind if i take a look?”
“it’s on my desk, go ahead.” tendō said with a nod, looking not even mildly interested in the movie he was now fixating his gaze on.
just as the third-year moved to thank them, ushijima practically jumped up from the bed and rushed towards the desks, causing semi to stop dead in his tracks. “don’t worry, semi, i’ll get it for you!”
semi nodded, albeit looking rather confused.
tendō felt the spot where ushijima had rested for the past hour grow cold rapidly.
“say, semisemi, why didn’t you make shirabu come down here to get his book himself?” he now questioned, turning to face away from the screen in a desperate attempt to distract himself from the tight feeling spreading through his chest.
“you know you’re not supposed to call me that.” he sighed, the small scowl ever-present on his face, “that dickhead’s asleep, i basically had to carry him back to his dorm after practice.”
“and before you say anything, i only did it because goshiki almost broke his back when he tried to lift him.” he added when he saw tendō’s amused expression, not wanting to give him the opportunity to make another of his dumb jokes.
“of course, i would never suggest anything else, semisemi.” a knowing smile was now plastered on tendō’s lips, it was obvious he enjoyed annoying his classmate, aware of semi’s feelings towards the second year setter.
semi’s retaliation was cut short by ushijima speaking up again, holding out an english textbook toward the short blond. “here you go, semi. and tell shirabu not to overwork himself.”
“i’m not telling him shit if he keeps being this fucking annoying. still, thanks, wakatoshi. see you guys tomorrow.”
they both waved in place of an answer as semi left their dorm, carefully closing the door behind him.
tendō sighed as he got up from his boyfriend’s bed, walking up behind him to wrap his long arms around his waist, head resting on his shoulder. “why can’t we just tell them, wakatoshi-kun?”
“you know why. my family would never approve of… us.”
“they wouldn’t even find out! it would just be the rest of the team that knows. please, this whole sneaking around is getting exhausting…”
ushijima shook his head, tugging on tendō’s arms to escape his embrace. “i said no. i can’t risk my family finding out about this, why can’t you understand that?”
the redhead clenched his fist, nails digging into his flesh. he sucked in a breath as the pain grew more intense, trying to keep the tight feeling in his chest from returning.
“it’s not that i don’t understand, it’s just-”
“i’m tired, wakatoshi-kun. i’m so tired of pretending all the time.”
“and you think i’m not?” tendō flinched as his usually stoic boyfriend raised his voice. “you think i enjoy hiding this from everyone? that i don’t want to let the whole world know how i feel about you?”
“why don’t you do it, then?” his voice was merely a whisper, all his composure went to keeping the tears from escaping his eyes.
“because it’s wrong!”
he regretted the words as soon as they had left his mouth.
he didn’t mean that. their relationship wasn’t wrong, that much he knew. ushijima was seldom sure about things that weren’t related to volleyball, but of this he was absolutely certain.
something that could make him this happy couldn’t be wrong.
what he and tendō had was so special.
precious.
fragile.
had he broken it just now?
he stepped forward, reaching his arm out towards tendō but the latter backed away, tears now streaming down his face silently, his entire body shaking.
“please, don’t touch me.” he breathed, teeth gritted so as to not let out the sobs he felt building up.
in the blink of an eye, he rushed past ushijima, stopping as he rested one hand on the doorknob.
“i think i’ll be staying with semi for tonight.”
his classmate nodded quietly, trying to swallow the lump forming in the back of his throat as tendō stepped out into the dark hallway.
“i love you, satori.”
he turned around one more time, sporting a tired smile that didn’t quite reach his glistening eyes.
“see you, ushijima.”