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It started as it always does.
It was the usual, really. Not very different from his time with the Nie. Someone would spot him, minding his own business, and they would choose to make his life hell. And he would have to smile through it all.
Soon, he would think, remembering their rank, their name, their spouse, their family. Soon.
Meanwhile, he would bow, keep his mask on, make them believe they had the upper hand. He would bow, and --
“Really? This guy killed Wen Ruohan and you’re picking on him?”
He knows that voice. Never quiet during any conferences. Never quiet in his own head, long after they have parted ways. The voice itself is not notable. It’s what he says that gets to him the most. The praises. The encouragement.
“Don't blame me when the Jins end you. Pah."
Jin Guangyao looks up from beneath his lashes, still bent forward. There have been praises, there has been encouragement, but Sect Leader Yao has always uttered them when Jin Guangshan had been around to hear. While such things were great to hear, Jin Guangyao knew this was just politics. Just a way to stay close to the all-powerful Jin. And yet…
“You’re not gone yet? Maybe I should have a word with your Sect Leader and see how they like you walking around and insulting a war hero.”
The yellow clad disciples looked at Sect Leader Yao as if they would argue, but chose against it. Jin Guangyao knew it was not because of his own reputation. Very few were willing to argue with Sect Leader Yao. His voice carried too far with words that could be too easily misinterpreted.
But now, as Jin Guangyao stood up from his bow, he knew that there was no space for misinterpretation.
He bowed to Sect Leader Yao. The man stopped him with a hand under his forearms, bowing quickly as soon as Jin Guangyao got back up.
“None of this, you deserve the acknowledgement of your success,” Sect Leader Yao said with a smile when he got back up.
He bowed again and left.
Jin Guangyao stood there, looking at his retreating back, then turned around and started walking. If he walked fast enough, he might be able to blame his reddening cheek on the exertion.
They crossed paths more often after that. Inexplicably, whenever he found himself alone walking through Koi Tower, Jin Guangyao would see the dark green robes of Sect Leader Yao swishing in a garden or at a corner between two hallways. Sect Leader Yao would always bow to him as he walked past. Always smile at him. When Jin Guangyao smiled back, he found it genuine on his lips.
He eventually invited him for tea. Sect Leader Yao’s voice was steady in the night, warming his room, keeping the vipers away. Jin Guangyao found himself looking at Sect Leader Yao’s hands as he picked up his tea cup, at the liquid leaving a shiny trail on his lips. He turned away to hide his blush.
Sect Leader Yao looked up and his smile grew bigger.
“What if my father finds out?” Jin Guangyao whispered as sunrise was barely a grey line on the horizon.
He left a kiss on Sect Leader Yao’s chest. The man wrapped his arms tighter around Jin Guangyao’s back and kissed the top of his head. He did that a lot. As soon as his cap hit the floor, quickly followed by the rest of their clothes, Sect Leader Yao’s lips were on his forehead, nuzzling his hair. Jin Guangyao loved it.
“If he ever does, we will have to be more discreet… or shut more mouths.”
Jin Guangyao pulled him into a searing kiss.
When Jin Guangshan died, Sect Leader Yao was the first to offer his condolences.
Then, his face was the last Jin Guangyao saw before falling asleep that night, feeling safe and secure.
Jin ZiXuan became the new Sect Leader.
“I know about your relationship with Sect Leader Yao,” he had said.
Jin Guangyao froze.
“Do you wish to join his sect?”
You are allowed to love him , his half-brother did not say.
“You don’t have to answer now,” he added instead.
Jin Guangyao kept his lips shut.
“Do what is best for you. I will always support your decisions,” Sect Leader Yao said when Jin Guangyao reported his brother’s words.
Jin Guangyao nodded and sealed the promise with a kiss.
“They never married,” history books would remember.
But, for all the long years of their lives, they have loved. And their love was returned.
In the quiet of the chambers they often shared, it was enough.