Chapter Text
Inspired By :: I'd Rather Sleep , Kero Kero Bonito.
Kou stared at his shoes, taking what felt like a thousand deep breaths. (Although he still couldn't breathe.) He tried to convince himself it wasn't true, it couldn't be.. How would his parents feel, how would his brother feel, how would his friends feel..?
He wouldn't want to dissapoint them, after all, they were the only people he had actually enjoyed being around. (Not that he didn't like his other friends, it was just so tiring holding up the 'MinaMoto Image' in front of others.)
He mumbled slightly to himself before realising he would be late, as he had agreed earlier in the day they would all meet in the third floor bathroom to play cards with the Mokke. Although it was nothing big, he wouldn't want to be cheated all of the good cards, as he knew Hanako would be an ass about it and give him a 'penalty.'
Most of the rules in his card games with Hanako all came from the other boy's imagination. He didn't mind however, because the rules were mostly fair, and the games were always entertaining.
Loosing always sucked though, because Hanako would glout and joke about it for the next couple of weeks. But, when Hanako lost, the boy would pout, much like his brother, Kou would note. He would then demand they play a new game with a foreign set of rules.
Kou took one last deep breath before finally reaching the Kamome Middle School's exit. Once he had left he had rushed into the highschool, hearing a couple of girl's mumble how he was going to the Third Floor's Girl's Bathroom, like the litte perv he was. Although, their reasoning was far from true, but Kou, nor anyone else who knew the true reason, would ever be able to tell them..
Meanwhile, Hanako sat on the bathroom's heater, egearly awaiting for his opponent to arrive.
"What's taking the kid so long?" He mumbled to Yashiro, who clearly wasn't concerned. "I dunno," She replied, trying to get a hard stain off the floor. "You think he's taking a shit?" He chortled. Yashiro finally looked up, and gasped slightly.
"Hanako-kun saying things like that about our friend is very..v-very, erm, crude.." Hanako giggled like the little boy he truly was.
Just then, Kou sprinted in, almost bumping into Yashiro. "Gomen Senpai." He mumbled slightly. Nene smiled and said, "No worries, Kou-kun. You should be concerned about what Hanako-kun said about you."
Hanako flushed. "W-what are you t-talking about?" Kou looked to him. "It's fine Hanako, I-I don't really mind.." Hanako blinked twice, then rubbed his eyes, "Is this actually you, kid?" Kou nodded slightly, "Mhm."
Hanako shook it off and motioned Kou over to him, handing him his deck of cards. "Since you're late, you can atleast shuffle them for me.." He joked. "Oh okay," Kou replied, not putting much though into it.
He shuffled the cards just like he was asked and divided them between Hanako and himself. They played about three or four rounds before Kou was declared the loser.
Like always, Hanako glouted and showed Kou his victory dance he had prepared for two weeks before the ocausion. He stopped after a good ten minutes once he had noticed Kou wasn't paying any type of attention to him.
"Kid, something is seriously wrong with you. Are you posessed or something?" Hanako asked, his voice sounding less concerned than he actually was. Kou looked up from again staring at his laces. "Mhm." He muttered, looking down once again.
Hanako sighed and touched the boy's shoulder, Kou flinched suddenly. "You got a crush or something?" He asked. "Because with the way you're acting, it seems that you're off into space." The word 'space' lingered in Amane's head for a second or two before coming back to reality.
Kou blushed slightly and mumbled, "Seriously it's not. And, even if I do have a crush, what's it got to do with you, perv?" Hanako fake gasped slightly, "What's with the agression, kid? Is it because Imsototallyright?" (Hanako Translator: I'm So Totally Right.)
Kou didn't respond, he just sighed.
After that, Hanako didn't push any further. Kou suddenly got up, mumbling about how he was needed at home. Hanako and Yashiro stood there staring at the door, dumbfounded.
Once Kou got home, he slipped off his shoes and laid on the couch for a bit, his arm covering his eyes. That was until Tiara, his incredibly adorable little sister interuppted him. "Kou-nii, what are you doing? Are you playing a game?" She asked him, her doe like eyes sparkling. Kou removed his arm from his eyes and sat up slightly. "Oh, um hi Tiara, I'm just relaxing."
He replied, putting on one of his best fake smiles. Tiara, incredibly, could see through it. "Are you sad, Kou-nii?" She asked. "It's nothing, don't worry," He assured.
She frowned slightly, her eyes sparkling signifagantly less. "It's just..." Kou trailed off. "Feelings suck," He mumbled, staring at the floor.
She climbed up onto the couch and hugged her brother. "It's okay Kou-nii, you'll feel better." Kou laughed, loving how incredibly kind his little sister was. "Yeah, thanks Tiara." She smiled and ran away giggling, most likely going off to go play with her new dollhouse.
Kou sat there for a while, before deciding to go start dinner. When he arrived in the kitchen, he saw Teru sitting there, staring a something that Kou couldn't see between his arms. He shrugged this off, however, and went over to the fridge, pulling out all the ingredients he would need.
"Teru-nii, I'm making rice-balls and curry, is that okay?" He asked, his voice tired. "Hm." Teru mumbled, engrossed into whatever he found himself doing.
Kou sighed and started to cook. Cooking was something that Kou always found effortless. When he was young, specfically after failing to excorcise a ghost, his mother would always let him help to bake treats and cook his favorite meals. It had always helped to make him feel better, but added to the suspicion that was always there.
The Minamoto clan had never, ever, had a disapointing excorcise, or just one that couldn't excorcise a mere ghost. The mumblings surrouding his family were always about Teru's excellence and Kou's constant faliures.
There were even times when people would outright say that Tiara was the next hope in Kou's family. They'd also ask Kou things like, 'Are you even trying?' or 'We'll have to marry him off, we can't let him keep soiling the name of the Minamoto's.'
Kou always tried to brush them off, but during his late night insomnia filled thoughts, they always seemed to resurface. It was another reason amoung many that had seemed to isolate him from the rest of his family.
Laughter is the best medicine, but it's never a cure. (Pay attention to this ;3) That's what his mother always said to him whenever he tried to brush it off. She was right. I mean, of course she was right. But, it was a habit Kou just couldn't escape.
The stove bubbled and boiled, indicating to Kou to food was now done. He waited for the curry to cool as he had started to prepare the plates and bowls. Once he had finished, he had called for Tiara and sat down with his family.
Although, it was just the three of them. Kou, Teru, and Tiara. His parents always found themselves out of the house and busy doing everything else in the world. The siblings had grown used to it, I learned to embrace their 'lifestyle' of a sort.
Most people who knew this would joke about how Kou was the housewife and Teru was the working father to their 'daughter' of a sort, Tiara. Teru would foricibly chuckle lightly while Tiara giggled. Kou wouldn't react, instead he'd just play along. Just like a good housewife.
This type of thing had fueled the inner self hatred of a sort that has built up since he'd discovered-. He shook it off, it couldn't be true, it just couldn't. Then they'd be right, just in a different context.
It was now time for bed. Aka, the time Kou would spend hours contemplated almost every little thing.
He had to admit it. He just had to. He couldn't lie to himself anymore.
Kou was...He was..he was gay. Correction, *is gay. Although, he didn't know how to directly classify himself.
He couldn't help it. He had these types of feelings for so so long. He just hadn't been able to admit them to himself.
There was always speculation between his parents. To be fair, there were signs..Kou just wasn't like other boys when he was younger. He *fourtunately grew out of that phase in his life. Although, every time his parents said that, it always hurt. It hurt because it was true.
What people had said about him when he was young, it was true. The way Kou would act, his gesutures, the fact he had vowed to marry Teru. (Fortunately, he grew out of that part.)
He wasn't exactly feminine as most people who classify, he was just, happy. Although, that means different things for everyone. Some people consider laying in bed all day watching anime while eating ramen, happy. (Aka me.) Others think accomplishing all your goals happiness.
Kou didn't know how to define his hapiness. He was happy, he'd never say he was anything other than that. It was still hard though. Some people are just able to blurt out how they feel every moment, and lack the judgement Kou has always recieved.
Kou laid there still for a moment or two. Steadying his breath. He needed to blurt out how he felt. He shouldn't, he couldn't keep it to himself anymore. In order for him to be truly happy, the world needed to know. (Not literally of Course.)
I need to do this now, I-I can't wait...