Chapter Text
One
Across the room devoid of sound, a pencil scratched against paper, intense and focused for one awake so early in the morning. Her own eyes struggled to keep from weighing down, the rhythmic sounds of work tuning in and out of her attention only added to her drowsiness. Keeping her awake was curiosity; Who is he? And how is he so awake at this hour?
Elena moved her attention down to her own notebook, willing herself to write down notes as her English teacher was interpreting the profound meaning to Leaves of Grass. The only thing Elena found profound about it this early in the morning was how easily it could put one to sleep if read aloud.
The new student seated across the aisle from her seemed invested, like learning the deeper meaning to the poems of a pretentious old man from the nineteenth century was a matter of life and death to him. This was the first time he was attending the lectures, though, so Elena figured this could be his way of making a good first impression on the teacher. Really, he made an impression on her. Seated behind the shared mahogany desk, the new student wore the school uniform of a white button-up under a burgundy sweater, and black dress pants. Deep brown hair that matched the table, styled but not stiff. A reserved demeanor, almost protective.
Elena shook her head slightly. Obsessing over a stranger was not going to get her any good grades.
Boarding school had the blessing and curse of being surrounded by your peers at almost all moments. Moments of privacy were harder to come by, but support was easier to seek out. Except for when one can barely relate to those around them. Elena could barely stand anyone, let alone have a desire to be their friend, but somehow her roommate of the past two years had roped her into being a returning cast member of her friend group. Joining them for dinner in the student cafeteria every night became a coin toss for an enjoyable time. Sometimes Elena would be able to relax and enjoy their jokes, other times she would eat like a vacuum and insist studying had to be done.
Solitude followed her into the hallways of the school, and her mind raced with the stress of the large homework packet in her hands. Pre-calculus problems and vocabulary to memorize, along with annotations for Leaves of Grass due the next day. On her way to her last class of the day, Elena wondered when the academic stress would end. Or when she would learn to manage it.
Round the corner, Elena met a blockade with a thud after falling to the floor. Her papers fell down beside her, and her backpack brought her down even faster like an anchor.
“Are you okay?” a deep voice asked.
Dazed, Elena looked up to meet the voice. The new student looked down at her with concern.
“Uh….yes. Sorry, did I run into you?”
He let out a small laugh. “Sort of.” He crouched down to retrieve her papers from the floor, then reached a hand out to help her up. Hesitantly, Elena accepted, still confused. She rounds that corner every day without interruption. Every day is like clockwork.
“Did you hurt something?” he asked, pressing her work into her hands.
“No. Thanks.”
Elena ducks her head and then goes to move around him, back in pursuit of her next class.
The loudness of the cafeteria was almost too much for Stefan’s ears. He joined his roommate for dinner, not knowing where else he could sit that wasn’t pathetically by himself in this strange new place. He had met many new people today, all seemingly eager to introduce themselves to someone new coming in the middle of the second month of the school year. No one stood out to him, though. Except maybe the quiet girl he just about tackled in the hallway right before school ended. He didn’t know her name, though, and based on her disinterest in their interaction, he knew she’d be far from happy to be near him again.
“Who’s that?” Stefan asked his roommate, discreetly pointing towards the table Elena sat at with about six other people.
“Who? Oh, her. That’s Elena Gilbert, why?”
“I accidentally ran into her in the hallway today, knocked her off her feet. I feel bad,” Stefan replied.
“Ouch. She’s not much of a talker. I think I’ve heard her say three words all of high school. Her roommate says she has selective mutism,” he joked.
“Really?”
“I don’t know. Probably just moody.”
“Right. Who are all those people with her?”
“Well, the blonde girl to the left is Caroline, and the blonde guy next to her is Matt. They’re dating, I think. They break up several times a week so no one really knows. Then the girl across from them is Bonnie,” his roommate said, referring to the back of a head with no face to place. “And then the girl next to her with the lighter hair is Vicki. And to her left is Jeremy, Elena’s brother. Also allegedly dating Vicki.”
“Why all this alleged dating?” Stefan asked.
“Well, the competitive academic scene kind of makes dating frowned upon when you should be focusing on crushing others in your grades.”
“Sounds delightful.”
“Incredibly.”
“Who are you allegedly dating then?” Stefan asked curiously.
“No one. I’m trying to crush others with my athletic skills,” he joked.
“At least you’re original.”
Stefan took one last glance at Elena before returning to eating some alfredo concoction. Her pin-straight, brunette hair hung low, covering half her face, while her eyes hung even lower, avoiding the gaze he shot her way. Even from across the room, the melancholy energy she radiated couldn’t be missed.
It was one of those days for Elena, because the dread of being awake and functioning had not left her since this morning. Vicki and Jeremy were clearly in a bicker over some weed one of them lost, but Jeremy swore he left it in her room. Elena listened in to them, not daring to look too long at Vicki. She was insecure about her lazy eye and became easily offended if she thought someone was looking at it. Luckily, their argument didn’t seem too serious, and Elena was relieved she wouldn’t have to step in to defend her brother. The fact he was dating an older girl was enough to make Elena have a hidden dislike for Vicki, but he seemed happy with her and that’s all Elena wanted for him.
“Do you want to come back to my room after?” Jeremy asked Vicki.
“Yeah, is your roommate going to be there?”
“No. He’s got plans of his own.”
Elena tuned out before she could make a look of disgust.
“Elena,” Bonnie started,” do you want to come do the calculus packet with me? I have some of the answers already.”
She looked up for the first time all evening. “Yes. Let me just finish eating first.” Bonnie was one of the few people here Elena could actually admit to liking. Her company was enjoyable, but not overbearing like Caroline’s, which was rather unfortunate because Caroline was her roommate instead.
“I hate the way Vicki and Jeremy talk,” Elena said to Bonnie back at Bonnie’s room.
“Yeah, you can practically feel their horniness. Do they not know people are trying to eat around them?” Bonnie said.
“You just think they’d show some restraint at least while I’m there. They have all day and night without me, practically.”
“Why don’t you say something?”
“I don’t know. Jeremy feels wanted and loved by her, I guess. After watching him be so sad for so long, I don’t want to get in the way.”
“Yeah, I get that. I don’t know, if they can’t keep it together, I’ll say something myself.”
Elena lets out a small laugh. “Please do.”
“It’s for the sake of humanity; I just have to.”
She reaches for a blanket at the end of Bonnie’s bed and wraps herself in the soft grey fleece. Almost immediately she feels the need to sleep.
“Did you see the new guy today?” Bonnie asked after some time of them working quietly.
“Yes. He’s actually in my first hour. And I ran into him at the end of the day and fell on to the floor. It was awful,” Elena relayed.
“Oh, that’s some bad luck. Is he nice?”
“I guess. I was confused more than anything after I fell over. He picked up my things, though.”
“Wow, a true gentleman,” Bonnie said with amusement.
“Oh, yes. Has basic manners.”
“A miracle among men.”
Around eight, Elena said her goodbye to Bonnie and began her walk back to her shared room with Caroline. Meandering down the halls, she found herself sitting outside the library entrance. A buzzing, eerie energy came from the empty building. All but Elena had cleared the space tonight, on such an odd Tuesday of the month. No impending midterms or finals anytime soon, so no need to crowd the study space. Elena stared into the library, at a point between two bookshelves far off. Her mind felt numb all day, and even number as she allowed herself to zone out.
“Are you going to go inside?”
Elena jumped, startled at the noise. She turned to face its origin. New kid, yet again.
Unblinkingly, she stared at him. “Or should I be scared of what’s in there?” he asked, joking.
“Um. No. There’s nothing in there.”
“What were you staring at?” he asked her.
“The wall.”
“Must be an interesting wall if it can keep your attention like that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Elena deadpanned.
“Nothing.”
She turned her head away, annoyed. Starting in the other direction, Stefan felt his chance at a good impression slipping as she moved. “I’m Stefan, by the way.”
“Elena.”
“So I heard.”
“You like to gossip, then.”
“Not gossip, merely curiosity.”
“You won’t find what you’re looking for.” Elena turns sharply, then starts on her way again with a sense of urgency this time. Stefan doesn’t follow.
When it’s time to sleep, Elena lays on her side, facing away from Caroline’s bed, clutching one of her dog stuffed animals against her chest. She had a mild assortment, something Caroline teased her for, but someone like her could never understand why they would still bring her comfort at her age. She twists at the fur, contemplating the interactions of the day.
Why would Stefan bother trying to talk to her? Why was he even at the library? Was he following her? Why couldn’t she have just been nice? He was clearly trying to make a friend, or friendly conversation. She probably looked confused or strange to him, just standing there like that. Now she looked mean and hostile, and there was nothing she could do to change that impression now. A confused, clumsy, rude girl. Well, that might make him stay away. There wasn’t anything worth getting to know.
Eventually, she drifted off.
Stefan felt defeated. He considered he came off creepy, and looked like he was stalking her after showing up to the library. Really, he was just going to get his student I. D. card he left there earlier in the afternoon when he picked up his books for class, but with his luck he had unfortunate timing. At least he got his card back.
The embarrassment followed him into the morning. “Ron?” Stefan called softly to his roommate as they were getting ready.
“Huh?”
“That Elena girl…I saw her when I went to go get my I. D. She said that I won’t ‘find what I'm looking for’ when I introduced myself. She was at the library, just staring at the walls.”
Ron laughed before he could answer. “I told you, dude. She’s a mute. She doesn’t want to talk, believe me, I’ve tried. Most boys have.”
“Does she just stare at things?”
“I don’t know, dude. I don’t grill this girl. Her parents died, though. She’s probably messed up in the head.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. Don’t ask her about it.”
“There goes my big plan.”
Elena would be the last to admit that boys did try to get her attention. Sometimes they’d approach her with a big plan of getting her to talk, but after feeble attempts most stopped trying. They talked about her, though. The long, deep brown hair that flowed down her back. The soft brown eyes. Full eyelashes and a thin body. Boys thought she was more beautiful than hot, and her unattainable status made her more mysterious than sexy.
Getting people, mostly boys, to leave her alone, was a talent Elena would admit to, however. Most of their efforts at conversation came off as teasing and belittling, leaving Elena feeling like a circus act to them. No one would actually try to engage with her on a genuine level; it was all about who could get the mute girl to talk.
In her first class of the morning, she felt more alert in her pursuit to not look up, to not meet the eyes of the new kid. However, on Stefan’s end, he yearned for her to just meet his eyes once. Elena could feel the burn of his gaze across the aisle, and curiosity was getting the best of her reservations. A force drew her emotionally to ask why, to ask when; Am I just a silly challenge to you? Or are you unpoisoned from the thoughts of others?
Class was dismissed. Stefan packed up his notebook and his copy of Leaves of Grass. He gave up on getting Elena to notice him. Shoving his things into his bag then standing up, he was startled when he looked up. She was standing right in front of his desk, looking at him with doe eyes and arms crossed against her chest, fidgeting with her sweater. He stood, devoid of words.
She got the nerve to force out the words. “What’s your name?”