Chapter Text
Today was not a good day. From the moment I woke up this morning I knew things would go south, you know, one of those days where there’s a sinking feeling in your gut that just screams that you’re not gonna have a good time?
Yeah, I woke up with that.
The morning was pretty similar to every other day, routine, nothing out of the ordinary, just on my way to the trains for my daily commute to the city, heading to university, inevitably trying to keep myself from falling asleep during lectures.
I wasn’t exactly the best student, but I gave my best shot.
I still couldn’t shake the feeling that something was off though. I was right to think that, as it turned out.
It was my lunch break, and I was heading out to a local cafe. The soup of the day was amazing, the atmosphere was welcoming, and the staff were friendly. In short, the ideal lunch spot.
Unfortunately, though, I didn’t get the chance to have it one more time. A real shame too, who would expect to wind up dead so quick?
I was waiting at a crossing when it happened. The light had just turned green, and I started to cross, adjusting my laptop bag so I wouldn’t end up kicking it.
Now, I assumed I would be safe, as most people in town obeyed traffic laws, having a good head on their shoulders. As such, I’d taken to daydreaming as I’d crossed, not very responsible of me but I felt safe.
Naturally, when you hear skidding tires while you’re on the road, it snaps you right out of it.
Now, I wasn’t the only one crossing obviously, but unlike everyone else, I froze up, joints locking in place at the sight of the speeding vehicle. All I had time for was to turn towards the crowd watching in shock.
I felt it collide, and the world began rolling. By the time I came to a standstill, I could barely tell left from right in my daze. I let out a groan and tried to look down at myself.
‘Oh, that’s not how limbs are supposed to look.’
It wasn’t pretty, to say the obvious, and I doubted I would recover from what had happened.
After a few more seconds of looking at my mess of a body, it was like a switch was flipped. My body erupted in pain, and I screamed .
“AAAAAAAAAGH!!!”
I passed out at that point, shock overtaking my system. And from there, all there was left for me was oblivion.
For a while, all I knew was darkness. It was suffocating, and it felt like I was floating amidst the vastness of space. I couldn’t tell if I was moving at all, because the darkness was so encompassing. All I could do was let my thoughts ramble.
I was likely dead, after what happened. If not, I was going to be crippled for a long time, potentially my whole life. I didn’t know anything about medical stuff and I knew I was mincemeat after the collision.
I shook my head, trying to clear my mind of any more mentally scarring images.
‘Though, either I’m already dead and this is the afterlife or I’m somehow still alive…’
Almost in response to that, a light appeared in the distance, almost a pinpoint from where I was.
‘Oh, light at the end of the tunnel.’
As the light grew brighter, it became harder to see. Unfortunately, since this was, presumably, in my mind, there were no eyelids to help me. At least it wasn’t sore.
Before long, the light was my everything, and I could feel myself being pulled.
‘Guess that’s me leaving the mortal coil.’
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
To my surprise, I felt myself waking up again. My body was bruised, but I felt all my limbs attached to more than a single tendon. I felt tired though, so I just laid there, basking in what I assumed to be the sun.
I heard the wind’s gentle rustling of the trees and the idle chatter of… something. It wasn’t a bird, that was for sure. Maybe I was in some form of jungle with exotic wildlife or something, anything was possible after recovering from a fatal car crash.
After a while, I opened my eyes to see a nice clear sky, treetops in the corner of my eye and the sun rising to its peak.
Sitting up, I noticed I was in a forest of some sort. A couple of glances around told me I was nowhere near my home town, with vegetation as big as it was.
The jungle theory was looking more likely by the minute.
A rustling behind me caught my attention suddenly. I turned towards the noise sharply, eyes rapidly looking around as adrenaline hit me. Seeing strawberries on the ground was not what I expected.
The mere sight of them caused my gut to rumble.
‘Not exactly a liked food, but if this turns out to be a survival situation…’
After looking around again to ensure that I wasn’t being watched, I made my way to the strawberries, glancing warily all the while. I almost didn’t catch the very much out of place behaviour of a strawberry.
The keyword being almost.
Movement caught my gaze as I snapped my eyes to the strawberries, which were in the middle of rolling over and stood on their leaves, eyes opening, letting out a “Strabby!” almost cheerfully.
I blinked, rubbing my eyes.
‘Yep, still there.’
I slapped myself in the face to make sure.
When they didn’t disappear, I reacted appropriately.
“What in the actual-”
I was much louder than intended. It was likely the shock of seeing sentient food if I was honest. Who would readily expect that, after what had just happened?
My yelling startled them and they began running off into the bushes, chanting “Strabby, Strabby, Strabby!” in distress. I, meanwhile, tried to wrap my head around what I had seen. I wasn’t having much luck with that.
‘Food animals… Where in the everloving hell am I?’
My hunger forgotten, I sat back down in the grass, losing myself in my buzzing thoughts.
‘So, strawberries chanting something… what is this, Pokemon?’ I joked to myself, trying to keep myself from losing it. I was brought out of my musings with more rustling from bushes nearby, though this was distinctly noisier.
Meaning a bigger creature. I grabbed a nearby stick, barely even above a twig, hoping to god that it was friendly.
‘Here’s hoping it’s not the mama or whatever…’
I tensed, ready to run as the bushes parted.
“Filbo? Is that you? How’d you-” The voice cut themselves off as they emerged from the bushes.
I made eye contact with what looked to be an anthropomorphic creature that was very much taller than me, wearing what looked to be the stereotypical adventurer’s gear, hat and all. Their body structure was pretty similar to mine, with grey fur covering their body and having what looked to be paws instead of hands and feet. The best comparison would be almost as if a fursuit were real, with the paws a bit more proportioned appropriately. The most eye-catching thing though were the tusks, one chipped a decent amount.
‘Those teeth are bloody huge, holy hell.’
A small, calm part of my mind noted that they looked like some kind of walrus. That same part then realised that they spoke English, snapping me out of my panicked daze.
“Uh… H-Hey, didn’t expect tae see any sapient life here, speaking my language… How ya doing?” I greeted, hand keeping its grip on the stick in case they tried something.
‘Real smooth, jackass.’ I bit my lip, eyes looking for an easy exit.
Judging from the widening of their eyes, they didn’t expect me to speak.
“Holy Grump… What ARE you?” She, judging from the pitch of her voice anyway, asked in awe.
“I could ask the same, walrus person.” I shot back, resisting the urge to point. “Just what in the everloving hell are you?”
She seemed to compose herself with an “Ahem.” before putting her… paws? On her hips and smiling, clearly trying to ease my nerves.
“My name is Elizabert Megafig, explorer of the unknown, discoverer of the uncanny. I am what’s known as a Grumpus, and you, my friend, are on Snaxtooth Island, a wondrous place filled with creatures known as Bugsnax, these creatures taste, quite simply, amazing! I assume you’ve already seen them?” Throughout her little speech, she began talking towards me, ending up right in front of me where I had to look up slightly.
It took everything not to swing at her with the stick.
“Aye, I did, those little strawberry thingies… scampered off when I shouted.” I said, backing away slightly.
“Aha, so that WAS you!” She exclaimed, smiling wide. I flinched a bit at that, catching her eye. She backed away a bit, still smiling softly.
“Right… So uh, what’re you doing here?” I asked, not quite able to look her in the eye. “You’re… Well, you don’t seem like you’re a native, at the very least.”
She seemed a bit put off with my nervousness, to say the least.
“Ah, well… I’m out hunting for Bugsnax, so we can survive out here. We’ve got a town nearby, you see.” She explained.
I nodded, accepting that answer. Then what she said processed through my brain.
“Wait, we? Town? Wha?” I let out, the image of Elizabert-sized creatures surrounding me as I stood there in fear.
She let out a laugh at that, before composing herself.
“Yes, a group of us came here for a new life after I discovered Bugsnax here on this island, and now here we are, setting up the town!” She beamed.
If I were more composed, I would have been a lot more impressed at the balls of the creature in front of me, but I wasn’t, so it left an awkward silence as I fidgetted.
“A-anyway, you never did answer my question. What are you?” She asked, trying to look less intimidating.
I bit the inside of my cheek, trying to control my breathing as I composed myself a bit. “U-Uh, I’m a human. The name’s Alex, and I have no idea how I got here.” She let out a hum, stroking their chin with a paw.
“Never heard of a human before…” She muttered, eyes taking in my features.
“Well, I’ve never heard of a grumpus before, either.” I said, beginning to relax a bit. She smiled again at that, before suddenly stopping as she realised something.
“Say, I’ve got to ask, what are you doing here?” She emphasised their question by leaning in slightly. “We’ve not been here long, but I’m sure we would have run into you by now if you were a stowaway.”
Oh boy.
“Uh… Would you believe me if I said that I washed up here?” I squeaked out, making it very obvious that I was lying. She quirked a brow at that but shook her head.
“Alright, if you won’t tell me, I won’t press, but I want you to promise that you aren't here to hurt anyone.” She warned, crossing her arms. “I’m sure you’re not, but I’ve never seen your kind before, and we’ve only just met.”
I nodded, understanding. “Yeah, I’m not gonnae hurt anyone. Hell, I’m sure you’ll hurt me more than anything.” I let out a small chuckle as I gestured to my sorry state. She didn’t say anything at that, instead looking to the sky as the sun. Maybe she was trying to tell the time?
“Alright… Now, what to do with you?” She asked, looking back at me. “I can’t just leave you out here, after all…” She rubbed her chin in thought.
“What, gonna offer me to the eldritch gods or something?” I half-joked, watching Elizabert for any sudden movements.
She let out a laugh and shook her head as a negative, before humming to herself.
“Hm… I could take you back to town, but the only thing to worry about is how the rest will react…” she tapped her chin with a paw.
I raised an eyebrow at that.
“They've seen sentient strawberries walk about like nothing’s off and you’re worried how they'd react tae me?”
“That’s different, Bugsnax aren’t exactly the... smartest of the bunch, whereas you’re more like us.” She explained. “I’d imagine that some of the more… eccentric grumpuses would overreact a bit.”
“Alright, whatever, you thinking they’d gut me or something?” I said, frowning.
“Oh grump no, they’re not going to got that route, it’s just… Well, it’s hard to explain, but you’ll be fine.” She placated, still smiling softly. “It’ll probably be the best option for you.”
I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, not exactly a survival expert…”
She chuckled a bit at that, before paying a paw on my shoulder. I tensed a bit, causing her to let go quickly.
“Well, we’d best start slow. You wait here for a bit, I’m going to bring some of the more trusted grumpuses I know here, that way we can back you up when you come with us.” She proposed. “I’ll be back soon.”
With that, before I could even say a word, she rushed off past the bushes, leaving me to my thoughts again.
I stood there for a few seconds, before sighing and taking a seat next to one of the trees.
I leaned against the rough bark, causing a bit of discomfort from the texture.
‘Just what in the fuck have I got myself into?’
I bit my lip, beginning to stew in my anxiety.
‘Okay, maybe if I can sleep some of it off I can calm down…’
I closed my eyes and tried desperately to get to sleep.
Wrestling against my opponent, I pushed with all my might, but I was barely budging against him. His sheer strength was overwhelming, and with his body infused with nanomachines, I wasn't even hurting him with my grip.
He let out a chuckle at my predicament, mocking my efforts.
“Come on!” He grinned mockingly, barely having put any effort in.
“Tch.” I let out, pushing with everything I had.
“Wake up!” A voice suddenly cut in, catching me off guard.
“What?”
He punched me in the jaw and-
I jerked awake.
“Wha-huh-wuh!?” I exclaimed, in a daze. In my panic, I wound up slamming my head into the tree, letting out a hiss as I clutched my skull.
“Oh, geez, Lizbert, did you really have to slap them?” a voice said, concern lacing their voice.
Once the pain settled down into something manageable, I pushed myself off the tree, standing up.
“Gonnae get me a fucking goose egg on my head…” I mumbled to myself, rubbing at the sore spot as I turned to Lizbert.
She wasn’t alone, as it turned out. The first bunch to see me.
They were both distinct in their ways, one a light blue and the other a pale white, both with varying expressions of concern on their faces. The snow coloured one looked like a doctor, judging from the hat and bag, while the other only really wore a sash with “Mayor” crudely drawn on it. Both of them lacked the tusks that Elizabert had, so they looked a lot less intimidating in comparison.
The most important thing to note, though, was their height. They were tall , to say the god damn obvious. Now I wasn’t short, but I didn’t exactly break the six-foot margin if you got what I meant.
These lot broke that margin, with Elizabert easily going higher.
In short? I was a little intimidated, surrounded by larger creatures.
I let out a deep breath, calming myself before I began panicking again.
“So, these are your trusted folk, Lizzy?” I said, catching the new pair off guard as I spoke.
Lizzy looked a bit taken aback by the nickname.
“Lizzy?”
“Aye, Lizzy.”
The blue one let out a little laugh at that.
“Wow, Lizzy, huh? I like your style!” He smiled, raising a paw almost for a fistbump. I just blinked back at him, confused.
I opened my mouth but before I could even begin to get a syllable out, the distinct sound of a shutter going off echoed out through the clearing.
“Uh… was that a camera?” I asked hesitantly, glancing at the others. The three grumpuses glanced at each other, and all nodded together.
“Beffica.” They spoke in synchronisation, eyes knowing.
“Who?” I asked, looking around for the source of the noise. Lizzy sighed and shook her head.
“We’ll explain later, we’d better make sure that she’s not going to tell everyone right away.”
“Alrighty then, but I’m coming wae you this time, tree bark isnae that comfortable.” I borderline demanded, pointing at my back.
She just nodded her head before taking off, the rest of us followed swiftly. Despite their goofy looking bodies, they could run deceptively quick. Hell, if it weren't for the bushes and branches in the way, I doubted I could have kept up easily.
Eventually, the forest ended though, and I came to the sight of a town that was half-built. Even the hanging sign was half-finished, dripping a bit with paint.
In front of it was a stout purple goblin looking grumpus, camera in hand.
They were looking at the picture they took and judging from the way their body was moving, they were having a good chuckle out of it.
“Beffica!” Lizbert shouted, catching her attention. “Come here for a minute.” She ordered, causing Beffica to sigh in what I assumed to be annoyance, before trudging her way towards the three of us.
As she came to a stop, I took a good look at her, she had that stereotypical bad girl look, swept hair to the side, condescending look on her face, relaxed posture and leaning on one leg, hand to her hip. The only article of clothing on her was a simple gold coloured heart necklace.
I was willing to bet it wasn’t even real gold.
“What is it Lizbert?” She asked as if she didn’t know what was wrong. She was gonna be fun to work with, I could tell.
“The picture, Beffica. Get rid of it.” She said, not in the mood for playing around.
She “hid” the camera behind her back, her smile becoming more sly.
“What picture?” She said with an exaggerated wink, clearly trying to wind Lizbert up.
“This isn’t time for games Beffica, get rid of the picture.” She continued, not falling for the bait.
The blue one also piped up.
“Yeah, Beffica, that’s just mean.” He said, eyes disappointed.
“Zonk off squeeb, no one’s talking to you.” Her expression darkened, clearly of dislike for this guy.
My face soured a bit at that. Every word out of her mouth just dragged my opinion of her lower and lower.
“Beffica, how many times have we told you to not say that sort of stuff?” Lizzy said, looking very much fed up with her.
“Hm… lost count.” She brushed off, combing her hair to the side.
I’d had enough at that point.
Lizzy made to speak again, but I cut her off, stepping forward.
“Och, fae fuck’s sake, ya wee ninny, just dae what she says, alright?” I snapped, catching her attention. “It’ll save us both the time and effort.”
She just rose a brow at that. “Wow, they speak.” She snipped, not quite able to hide her surprise.
I was tempted to just charge her and smack her right in the mug and be done with it, but I refrained for the sake of Lizbert. No doubt she’d hate dealing with the aftermath of that. Instead, I just shook my head, muttering obscenities under my breath as everyone looked at me.
“Ach, whatever, you’re not worth it.” I mumbled. Lizzy just shook her head, turning back to Beffica.
“Beffica, please, this isn’t a request, we can’t have you risking his chances because you showed a picture of him.” She pleaded, gesturing to me. “He needs our help, and if you show everyone, who knows how they’ll react.”
Beffica let out a hum at that, smirking.
“Tell you what, you get me a Snakpod and I’ll drop it.” She kept that smirk on her face, winking again. “I’d say that’s fair for someone like you, no?”
I took another breath to calm myself before I ended up lashing out, clenching my fists tightly. Before I could properly calm myself, though, a paw landed on my shoulder, snapping me out of it.
Glancing behind me, I saw the white grumpus holding me, a slightly concerned look in her eyes. The blue one looked over, confusion painted on his expression.
“That grip can’t be healthy, are you alright?” She asked, eyes looking at my hand.
A glance towards said limb confirmed that it was in a complete death grip with itself. I loosened my grip and the stinging pain indicated that I pierced skin. Just great.
A drop of blood rolled down my hand and dripped off my pinky, splashing on the ground. She let out a small gasp at that, holding my hand up while Lizbert and Beffica bartered.
“Can ye tell I have anger issues?” I joked more to myself than anything. She merely shook her head at that.
“Once this is over, I’ll treat you.” She said, eyes firm. “Don’t use this hand for anything, got it?”
Something told me she wouldn’t take no for an answer, so I just nodded my head. Plus, I was a bitch when it came to small injuries. I opened my mouth, but before I could ask her name, a voice cut everyone off.
“What in tarnation is going on out here?!” A distinctly southern voice shouted out.
Thinking quickly, I hopped behind the white grumpus, using the size difference to my advantage.
Turns out, different body types can clash when trying to hide behind someone. I had no choice but to commit though.
“Just stay still alright?” I whispered.
I didn’t see any visible confirmation so I hoped to god that she’d got the message.
“Oh hey Wambus!” The blue grumpus greeted.
“Filbo.” Wambus replied.
“Hey, Wambus! Just having a discussion with Beffica over here.” Lizzy said, clearly trying to get him to leave.
“Is that right? Well, I’ve got something to say to her if you don’t mind.” His tone didn’t exactly sound happy.
“Uh, hello, I’m right here!” Beffica cried out.
“Quiet you, the adults are talking.” Wambus sassed.
The stammering was oh so satisfying to hear, for a vindictive side of myself.
“Right, well, give us a few minutes then you can talk with her, alright?” She said, voice very clearly waiting for him to go away.
“Alrighty, just holler when you’re done.” He got the message, his footsteps echoed away from us.
“Is it alright now?” I whisper yelled.
“Not quite, he’s waiting nearby.” The white one whispered back.
“Well hurry the fuck up then! I’m getting cramps here! And my hand’s fuckin’ sore!” I complained, the stress of everything beginning to get to me.
“Right, Beffica, I’ll get you your Snakpod, just delete the picture first.”
“Hm… alright, but only because you’re actually trustworthy.” Beffica finally relented.
“Thank you Beffica, and please, don’t tell anyone about this yet. We’re almost ready to introduce him to everyone.”
“Alright, but I expect something nice.” Beffica agreed, with a hint of reluctance.
With that, the crisis was averted.
“Alright, can we walk away from this now before I get arthritis in every joint I have?” I tapped the while grumpus on the shoulder, catching her attention.
“You complain a lot don’t you?” She muttered, turning around slowly enough for me to match her silhouette.
“Not normally, it’s just that this is some shit I’m in.” I admitted. My heart was pounding away, and I could feel the blood rushing after having to hide like that.
With nothing else holding me back, once we reached the entrance of the forest I stopped crab-walking forwards.
“Alright, now that that’s done, what the hell are we gonna dae about this?” I asked.
“I’ll get her the Snakpod and then I’ll call a town meeting where we’ll introduce you as calmly as we can.” Lizbert said, eyes showing a bit of stress herself.
“And I’m supposed tae sit wae my thumb up my arse until then?” I retorted, not at all okay with leaving my fate to a stranger.
“Well, if you want you can help me find a Snakpod.” She offered, holding a paw out to me.
I took a second to consider the offer, before sighing.
“... Well it’s something at least.” I shrugged.
We wound up walking back through the forest again, and after a few minutes, we came to the other end, to a large clearing.
Quite simply, the place was beautiful, a waterfall in the distance watching the sun’s rays, the local wildlife running about happily, even the fauna here reflected the eye-catching beauty.
Lizzy let out an “Ahem.”, snapping me out of my staring. She looked at me with a smile, knowing exactly what I was doing.
“This is Flavour Falls, have a look around, and try to find a Snak on a wall, it shouldn’t move even when you approach it, they’re just hard to find.” Lizzy explained, pulling out a net of some kind.
“Aight, I’ll holler if I find one.” I nodded. With that, we went our separate ways, looking for Bugsnax.
The other two, Filbo and Eggabell, as I found out, went back to town to keep things going while we went out.
The area wasn’t too big, thank god, and within five minutes I’d explored every major area with nothing hinting to wherever a Snakpod would be. It didn’t mean it wasn’t nice to wander about though. Especially whenever the Bugsnax were near.
It seemed that for every three of one I ran into there was a new one, all based on food you could find within a supermarket if you looked hard enough. Like the strawberries before, they called out their name repeatedly like some form of mantra.
The number of times I heard “Bunger Bunger Bunger!” was astounding considering I’d only seen two of them, I’d lost track after fifty.
The cute little things just didn’t shut up, it was adorable.
I found myself drawn to the waterfall, likely the reason this part of the island was named, taking a few moments to appreciate the beauty of it all.
Unfortunately, because of the eye-catching beauty, I didn’t hear a stray Bunger nearby begin to charge me, chanting its name excitedly. I couldn’t even turn around in time before it smacked me on the arse.
I was knocked right into the freezing water, gasping as the chills hit me. Groaning, I pushed myself up from the rushing water, facing the waterfall.
‘Huh? Is that…?’ There was something behind the waterfall, and curiosity got the better of me.
I didn’t bother trying to stop my clothes from getting any more soaked and wadded my way towards the waterfall. Didn’t mean it was comfortable, though.
“All of this faffing about fae one Snak…” I groaned, shivering as the cold water dripped down my skin.
Reaching the end of the river, I grimaced as the splashing of the water hit me, soaking through my soggy clothes and onto my skin.
‘Well, let’s just go for it…’ With that, I sprinted through the waterfall, completely soaking myself from head to toe.
‘Well, my chances of hypothermia just went up to a guarantee…’ I groaned as I looked at how drenched I was. A stinging from my palm indicated that my injury did not agree with what just happened. I hissed, shaking my hand.
‘Good god that stings like a bitch…’
I shivered, rubbing my arms to heat myself as I entered the mini cave.
There wasn’t too much to note at first, as I didn’t have a light source, but as my eyes adjusted to the dark a bit better I began to notice etchings on the far back cave wall.
Approaching the mural, it depicted figures surrounding a rather large creature, indistinguishable due to the wear and tear over the years, but it was probably a Snak of some kind.
It looked as if they were worshipping it, honestly, with the way their arms were raised. Not the strangest thing in the world, but I wouldn’t exactly be worshipping food that moved about chanting their name. On instinct, I searched my pockets for my phone to take a picture, and to my surprise, I did find it. Of course, since I just ran into a waterfall it was dripping wet, clearly fried.
“Well, fuck me, then… There goes any way of contacting anyone.” I muttered, pocketing and forgetting about it. Scratching my stubble, I glanced around the cave for any similar murals, only to see cold, dank cave walls.
I shrugged, content with what I saw, and made to leave when rustling above me caught my attention. I glanced up out of curiosity, only to see what looked to be a bag of something with googly eyes on it, hiding in the dark. It even had a generic picture of a crisp on it. Or would it be a chip, here?
‘Guess that’s a Snak of some kind… it’s nae running away, so maybe it’s the Snakpod?’ I noted, leaning around to get a better look. I jumped up slightly to test my reach, and sure enough, I could grab it. Jumping higher to secure my grip on it, I pulled it down with me, looking at it.
It let out a “Snakpod!” in response to its capture, but otherwise just sat there, staring at me as if nothing had happened.
“Cute lil guy aren'tcha?” I commented, before pocketing it. “Least I found ya, not sure why anyone would want tae eat something that stares back at ya…” Like it responded, it moved about in my pocket, smacking my leg a bit.
With nothing else of interest, I turned back to the waterfall. Grimacing, I braced myself, sprinting through the freezing stream.
I damn near fell over from the force of the water, but I managed to push through, wading through the river again. One hop and a skip later, I was back on dry land, utterly soaked to the bone. I just hoped my phone wasn’t fried.
‘Best find Ol’ Lizzy, that way I can actually sleep in a bed tonight.’ I felt in my other pocket, making sure that the Snakpod was still there, before trekking it back through the clearing.
The squelching of my shoes and socks was very uncomfortable, to say the obvious.
After a good few minutes of wandering around still dripping wet, I ran into her, as she was climbing down from a tree.
“Oh geez, mate, what happened to you?” She asked.
“Found your Snakpod behind the waterfall, I’m soaked tae all hell but I got it.” I reached into my back pocket, pulling it out and extending it out for her to take.
She grabbed the Snakpod, looking impressed that I’d caught something.
‘Aye, very hard finding a thing that stays completely still in a cold cave.’ I kept that wisely to myself.
“Oh, wondrous mate! Now, let’s get you into town, get you dried off, yeah? You look miserable, let me tell you!” She laughed a bit, to which I rolled my eyes.
“Aye, I feel it too.” She just laughed harder.
I was beginning to feel comfortable around her, so that was a good sign at least.
Coming back to town, we arrived at a situation. We’d come to a stop at the tree line to not interrupt, but very quickly we realised something needed to be done. I counted at least six grumpuses, all with various expressions of annoyance, except for one.
Filbo, who looked rather nervous.
My interest peaked at that. If only my phone wasn’t wet, I could have recorded it for later.
‘God I’m beginning to sound like that Beffica girl…’
“Ugh, wait here, please, I need to deal with this.” Lizzy grumped, making her way from the tree line.
“Aight, try and not murder someone now.” I joked, with no reaction from her.
As Lizzy began trekking from the treeline, something rather distressing caught my eye. Things were only getting more and more intense in the argument, and though Filbo wasn’t crying, I could tell he was upset from the verbal lashing. The moment Lizzy showed up though, any arguments stopped and they quietened down.
Filbo looked happy as all hell to see her.
She began talking, presumably questioning what was going on. A particularly short grumpus wearing a hat of some kind seemingly exploded, borderline shouting at Filbo, who looked almost shameful at the verbal abuse.
Lizzy, to her credit, managed to quiet down the explosive grumpus rather quickly, but that wasn’t the end of it. A tall, dark blue grumpus wearing a hat typical of a farmer said something which aggravated the stout pink one, causing them to almost lash out against the farmer. Lizzy had to straight-up get in between them to stop them from going at it.
If it weren’t for her standing in the way, I doubt this would have ended well.
Lizbert seemingly worked her magic after that, talking with each individual and calming them down quickly, and quite frankly I couldn’t look away with how effective she was at it. It was obvious she was well respected here. Once they began to split off, I went back behind the tree line, waiting for Lizzy to come fetch me.
Leaning against a tree, I frowned a bit to myself. That wasn’t exactly a great first impression of this place, and it got me thinking. If they were all ganging up on him like that, there was some history behind it.
No doubt I wasn’t going to learn about that any time soon, but an undeniable curiosity wormed its way within me, wanting to know what was going on.
‘Just what is it that you’re doing that’s pissing them off, Filbo?’ I questioned, looking to the sky in thought.
A few minutes of daydreaming later, I heard footsteps approaching me. Naturally, I assumed it was Lizzy, So I didn’t bother moving.
“Now, mind telling me why you were watching us from over here, varmint?” A distinctly southern voice drawled out.
That was my mistake as it turned out.
I turned sharply to see the tallest grumpus I’d seen so far. The guy easily passed seven feet, and then some. I only just came up to about his chest, and that was with the slight terrain difference in my favour. Up close his fur seemed a bit unkempt, sticking out a bit under the flannel jacket he was wearing, with a poof of it in the center. His tusks, while not as big as Lizzy’s were still sharp-looking, coming out from the bottom of his jaw instead of the top.
My observations were noticed, judging from the stink eye he gave me.
“Uh…” I blinked in shock. I was caught completely caught off guard, not expecting to deal with another grumpus so soon. Nerves ate away at me again as he glared at me harshly.
“Well? Spit it out, or I’ll drag ya to the others! I know you can talk, I saw you with Lizbert!” He shouted.
My gut dropped at that.
“Uh, well, uh… Lizzy over there was planning on introducing me tae you lot once some things were sorted, then we walked in on that over there. As for watching you, I just got curious, didn’t hear what anyone said.” I hastily explained.
Despite my efforts, this guy did not look too pleased. I glanced around again, not seeing any easy exit without him able to give chase easily.
“Uh huh. Well how about we introduce ya now then, eavesdropper?” With that, he grabbed my arm and started pulling. I knew better than to struggle, so I just sighed and followed.
Besides, his grip was strong as hell for only having three digits and a thumb.
“Lizbert!” He shouted, tugging me in front of him. “Just what’s been goin’ on while you were out!?” Lizbert turned to us, slumping slightly in annoyance once she realised what happened.
I just shrugged meekly in reply.
“Oh, Wambus.” She said, gesturing for him to come closer. “Well, better now than never, I suppose.”
He pushed me forward lightly, having all eyes on me. “This fella says you know him, is that right?” He asked, surprisingly calm. “If so, why didn’t y’all tell us?”
“Alright, nae need tae act like I’m not here.” I muttered, glancing back at the farmer in annoyance. The collective gasps that weren’t Filbo or Eggabell wasn’t all that surprising.
Lizzy let out a sigh, shaking her head.
“Yes, Wambus, I’m helping him get settled, I just wanted to make sure that this kind of thing wasn’t going to happen.” She explained. “I knew someone would blow this out of proportion somehow, so I wanted to take it slow.”
“Well he’s certainly capable of watchin’ conversations he doesn’t have any right to!” Wambus shouted. “I found him watchin’ by the trees, for grump’s sake!”
“Excuse me fae being curious about furry creatures yelling!” I snapped back, glaring at the farmer. “Curiosity is an innate thing about me, buddy.”
“Alright, alright, you two, calm down before you say something you’ll regret.” Lizzy interjected.
I glanced at Wambus, who kept his mouth shut, though he was giving me a helluva glare to compensate. I just tipped an invisible hat in return.
“How interesting, another species, on this island… Would you be interested in participating in a few experiments of mine?” A purple grumpus with a bow tie and thick-rimmed goggles said. I could respect the fact that they asked, at least.
“Uh… Maybe not.” I let out, tugging at my jacket hood. “I’d rather not potentially injure myself with whatever would be in store, thank you.”
They just rolled their eyes and scoffed a bit.
By now other grumpuses were joining the crowd, bringing the total to at least ten.
“I say, what’s going on here?” A rather tall yellow grumpus asked, adjusting their glasses.
“Yeah, dawg, there’s never a crowd like this!” Another said, although I couldn’t see them since I was quite simply surrounded by a variety of colours and heights.
There were mumblings of agreement from those who weren’t in the front, clearly wanting answers.
“Oh Jesus Louisus this is a, uh… a lot more than I expected.” I laughed awkwardly, glancing towards Lizzy, who looked surprisingly used to this.
“Alright everyone, quiet down! I understand you have questions, and we’ll get to them, but at least let him introduce himself, and not act like an angry mob.” She demanded, slamming a fist down into her paw for emphasis.
Once they quietened down, Lizzy gestured to me, an expectant look on her face.
“Uh, right… Hi, name’s Alex, uh, I’m a human, twenty six, single and ready tae mingle, and uh… I have literally no clue how I got here?” I ended light-heartedly. At the complete lack of reaction, I sighed. “God I’m not funny at all.”
“Mm, yes, quite. If you’re done meandering I have some questions I’d like you to answer, if you’re capable of intelligent discussion.” The purple smartass called, expression a little too eerie for my liking. “Surely you would be perfectly amendable to that?”
“Uh, will you leave me be if I dae?” I asked, glancing away. “Nae offense, pal, but uh… you’re a tad intimidating.” They just chuckled a bit at that, pulling out a clipboard and noting something down.
“I look forward to our discussion.” They said, turning and walking away without another word.
Bits of muttering started up as they left, the grumpuses that I could see glancing at each other.
Before long though, one spoke up, spreading their arms out.
“One who is me, the Great Shelda, welcomes you with open arms into our town of humble beginnings! One who is me will gladly guide you through the temptations of the Toxins, which seek to taint your body!” A rather old, frail-looking grumpus shouted boisterously, almost demanding my attention from their volume and demeanour alone.
I couldn’t even comprehend what they were talking about.
There were mumblings of agreement, some much more enthusiastic than others, which then lapsed into silence, everyone staring at me.
I glanced at Lizzy, who shrugged.
“Well? Any riveting questions?” I asked, raising a brow.
Again there were mumblings, but no one spoke up.
‘Either they all want tae ask in private, or they've really got none…’
“Well, if there’s nothing else, I gotta go pee, uh, there an outhouse here or something? Public bathrooms, anything?” I flushed a bit, embarrassed.
Filbo spoke up eagerly.
“Oh, follow me, I’ll show you where it is!” he beamed.
The crowd parted enough for Filbo to squeeze through, so I followed suit.
‘Today’s been wild as all hell.’ I thought, shaking my head.