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Tian Ci ascended at the age of 22 while he was asleep at his desk, mouth wide open and drooling on his scrolls. He didn’t even realise it was possible - it had been close to a century since the last known pair of cultivators had achieved immortality, but it might have been much, much longer since anyone had heard of one ascending and becoming a god.
Honestly, Tian Ci was so baffled by the incredulity of him ascending that he simply stood gaping like a fish in the middle of Martial Deity Avenue, while the other martial and civil gods walked around him like he was an inconvenient roadblock. Some of them granted him a cursory once-over; disinterest clear on their faces, most of them nodded at him in greeting before they continued on with - well, whatever the hell it is that gods busied themselves with. Tian Ci supposed he would find out soon enough.
“New around here, huh?”
Tian Ci spun around and came face-to-face with who he supposed was a heavenly official dressed in elaborate silk robes, and nodded weakly in response.
“Oh don’t you worry. Ling Wen will be by soon enough to get you all oriented. Thank god - well thank us I suppose - that you didn’t destroy half the heavens in the process like that last guy who ascended,” said the official, shutting his fan and chuckling privately at his own joke.
“Did you say Ling Wen?” Tian Ci whispered, his voice cracking a little, “Oh my god. Is this real? Is this some elaborate fever dream?”
The heavenly official laughed in amusement and covered his face with his fan, fixing Tian Ci with an appraising gaze.
“Oh you’re a fun one! Don’t worry, you’ll get used to this whole godhood thing soon enough. Come on, Let me walk you to Ling Wen’s Palace. We’ll probably run into her along the way. I’m Shi Qingxuan, by the way.”
Tian Ci paled. The Lord Windmaster himself, taking him to Ling Wen Zhen Jun, just THE civil god that all literary nerds like him worshipped?
“Are you shitting me?!” Tian Ci found himself saying, before clicking his mouth shut as he realised he really should start learning to have a brain-to-mouth filter, now that he’s - well - a god. A god was supposed to be all noble and graceful and poised, right?
Shi Qingxuan only responded by cackling, before walking ahead and gesturing that he should follow. Tian Ci hurried after him and nodded at the appropriate junctures as Shi Qingxuan gave him a rundown of the who’s who and what’s what.
“Oh, you’re probably gonna have to meet the Heavenly Emperor one of these days! You’ll love him for sure, and I’m sure he’ll take a shine to you too like he does all the lost little ducklings he keeps accidentally adopting. He’s been busy the last few weeks but surely his calendar will free up soon enough for the new guy in town,” says Shi Qingxuan nonchalantly, as though he didn’t just drop a bomb on Tian Ci’s entire world and announce that he’ll also have to meet with the Heavenly Emperor soon.
It’s okay, Tian Ci repeated to himself as he screamed internally, it’s okay . He’s a smart cookie, top of his generation and all that, he can handle godhood. He can do this. He’s got this.
--
It was his third day on the job before Tian Ci found that he definitely does not have this.
He’d been shuffled from golden palace to golden palace, each one more gilded and ostentatious than the last, and introduced to god after god, faces and names all blurring together until his head had spun.
Tian Ci was on his way to yet another god’s palace he was supposed to present himself at, the scribbled instructions on a scroll telling him to take a left at the street, right at the largest kumquat plant, then a left again... and Tian Ci had promptly lost all sense of where he was. He’d taken a wrong turn, looking for the “Ever-flowering Plum Blossom Gardens” and ended up in... definitely not where he was supposed to be.
He was in an elaborate garden, but it was filled with a riot of flowers of all colours, shapes and sizes. The flowers grew wildly here amidst the fiery maple trees, nothing like the manicured gardens he’d seen in abundance whilst passing by the streets and the main courtyards of prominent palaces.
The raw beauty of the place took his breath away, and Tian Ci found himself halfway across a small cobblestone path when he noticed something was very, very wrong. His senses pricked and he felt a chill run down his spine; his natural instinct for danger flaring in his gut.
He turned to the direction of danger, arms raised to protect himself against the overwhelming aura of evil, before he felt his blood turn to ice.
Lying idly under a maple tree was a teenage boy in a red tunic, an arm under his head as he held another outstretched to the sky, a small silver butterfly perched on his fingertip.
A teenage boy that was definitely, undeniably, a hundred and ten percent a certified ghost.
Seeing that the boy had not yet spotted him, Tian Ci ducked behind the nearest bush and hid himself, opting to observe before attempting anything.
From the looks of it, he was a very, very powerful ghost. Completely corporeal and indiscernible to the untrained eye, he was audaciously appearing in daylight without even concealing his aura, breaking all heavenly wards to just casually laze about in a garden in the heavenly capital itself.
Tian Ci may be a new god, but he was a cultivator and a scholar before he ascended, and his knowledge of spirits and ghosts alike was unparalleled in his generation. This was at least a Wrath, maybe even a Supreme. He may be new, but like hell he’d let a dangerous ghost waltz in and treat the heavens like some sort of playground. Who knew what he could be scheming?
Since Tian Ci hadn’t ascended as a martial god and would be foolish to take this ghost head-on, he lifted two fingers to his temple and reached into a private communication array.
⌜ Ling Wen Zhenjun, the all-knowing? I have a very urgent, important issue to report. ⌟ Tian Ci said.
⌜ What’s wrong, Civil God Tian Ci? ⌟ Ling Wen answered after a beat.
⌜I think something strange is going on here. I’m afraid the heavens have been infiltrated and compromised, Zhenjun.⌟ Tian Ci continued, ⌜I have eyes on an extremely powerful ghost in a wildflower garden - his aura of evil comes off in waves and it’s the strongest I’ve ever seen! He’s dangerous, and I’m going to need back up.⌟
Ling Wen was silent for two beats before she sighed deeply into the communication array.
⌜ Zhenjun? ⌟ Tian Ci asked.
⌜ He’s wearing red robes, isn’t he ⌟ Ling Wen said, her tone flat and tired.
⌜Well, yes?⌟ Tian Ci answered, confused at the question, ⌜Does that matter? Do you think his resentment ties to him being a spurned groom? Will that affect how we exorcise him?⌟
Ling Wen sighed deeper and longer this time, and now Tian Ci could even feel the headache she had pulsing through the communication array.
⌜ Look, ⌟ Ling Wen said , ⌜ I can’t spare the time to explain now because it is a very long story, and I also don’t have the energy to. Just... trust me when I say he’s not infiltrating, and that you should leave him alone. ⌟
⌜ But Zhenjun!!! Allowing such evil to walk the heavens?! ⌟ Tian Ci gasped. Of the likely outcomes, he never expected an answer like that from Ling Wen.
⌜ Leave him alone if you know what’s best for you , ⌟ Ling Wen admonished, her tone final, ⌜ and get the hell out of his garden while you still can. ⌟
Tian Ci was about to protest further when he realised the red-robed ghost had propped himself up on his elbows to stare at him, mouth curved up in a smirk that was downright menacing. The ghost cocked his head, and Tian Ci found himself yelping as he was unceremoniously swept up by a mysterious force and then carelessly dumped into the middle of a street, miles away from where he was just seconds ago. He stood gingerly, rubbing his sore bottom that took the brunt of the impact.
So much for trying to protect the heavens, Tian Ci grumbled, mumbling a string of curses under his breath that was most unbecoming of a god.
It was only when he was halfway back to his own palace that he realised that Ling Wen called it ‘his garden’.
Did the ghost own property in heaven?! What in the eighteen levels of hell was going on?!
--
Tian Ci was going to get to the bottom of this.
Since that unfortunate afternoon in the ghost’s gardens, he considered his curiosity officially piqued. He had prided himself as a fairly decent cultivator even if he worked solely on the theoretical and the academics, often solving strange cases and hauntings that baffled his peers, and he was going to find out what exactly was that ghost’s deal.
He figured that his best bet was Shi Qingxuan, whom he had known for all of five days but was already clearly the biggest social butterfly around. Shi Qingxuan knew all the latest, juiciest gossip, and Tian Ci would put serious money on him knowing who that ghost was and what he was up to. Not that he was supposed to bet, being a god and all. Wait, were gods allowed to gamble?
Tian Ci shook the rambling thoughts from his mind as he stood in front of the Lord Windmaster’s palace, steeled himself and knocked on the door.
A gorgeous woman draped in suspiciously familiar emerald silk robes greeted him brightly as the servants let him in.
“Tian Ci, you’re here to visit me?! To what do I owe the honour?” she quipped, and Tian Ci’s confusion must have been written all over his face because the lady only cackled at his reaction.
“Oh I love this part,” the lady laughed breathily, “It’s me, Shi Qingxuan. This is just one of my preferred forms.”
Tian Ci balked, but at least he had the braincell to quickly shut his jaw that had fallen open.
“Oh! I uh, I’m sorry I wasn’t expecting that. I didn’t know. Please pardon my ignorance and rudeness, I truly meant no offence, Lady Windmaster,” Tian Ci scrambled to backpedal.
The Lady Windmaster just laughed, waving her hand in dismissal, and led him down the hallway as she spoke. “I’m afraid I have company at the moment, but I’m sure they don’t mind you joining in! Come, come, join us for tea! Is this a social visit? Or official business?”
“A little bit of both, actually,” Tian Ci started, “I wanted to ask you about someone.”
Shi Qingxuan quirked an eyebrow but nodded, and Tian Ci continued.
“I ran into a ghost the other day, in the heavenly realms!” Tian Ci exclaimed, “That itself should be alarming enough already, but he wasn’t even startled when I discovered him. He lounged around like he owned the place, and when I asked Ling Wen for backup to deal with him, she told me to leave him alone and get out of his gardens. His gardens! What a preposterous notion! Who is this ghost and what is he doing in the middle of the heavens?!”
At this, Shi Qingxuan began to slow her footsteps as she came closer to the doors that led to a tea room and let out a nervous chuckle.
“A ghost, you say?” she said slowly, “Wearing red, black boots, long silky hair and all?”
“As a matter of fact, yes! Do you know who he is and what is his deal?” Tian Ci replied.
“Of course I know him!” Shi Qingxuan beamed, “He’s the Crimson Red Sought Flower, Supreme Ghost King, ruler of the ghost city and all that!”
Tian Ci gasped loudly at Shi Qingxuan’s declaration, his face paling upon hearing the name that made heavenly officials and mortals alike quake in their boots.
Shi Qingxuan shot a worried gaze at the door frame before dropping her voice to a whisper and leaning closer to Tian Ci, “Look, Tian Ci my boy, you best not have offended him, because he’s...”
“You’re telling me that Crimson Rain Sought Flower walks the heavens at his own leisure?! How has no one has done anything about it?!” Tian Ci cut her off loudly, his voice climbing in both volume and pitch, “ This is Hua Cheng we’re talking about! The Scourge of Heavens himself! Hua Cheng is here in the heavenly realm, we should be informing the Heavenly Emperor, gathering up all the martial gods!"
Shi Qingxuan tried desperately to place her hands over his mouth to shush him, but she startled and jumped when the doors of the tea room burst open. Out stepped a devastatingly beautiful, sultry woman in layers of rich crimson silks. Some of them were so sheer that they draped across her skin like sin itself - her outer robe was a fine red gossamer embroidered with silver flowers along the hems, blossoming into finely stitched silver butterflies that trailed up her sleeves and her skirts.
She stood half a head taller than them both, her pale skin only accentuated by her blood red lips and the coldness of her gaze as she looked down upon the pair tussling in the hallway. She tutted softly, leaning against the doorframe with one arm across her chest, while the other was raised and playing with an elaborate, inky braid that hung over her right shoulder. There were small white flowers weaved into it, and silver butterflies nestled amongst them, pulsing an ethereal glow.
She was so, so beautiful.
Tian Ci felt his jaw fall open for the second time but made no move to gather his wits about him. So this is how he dies, Tian Ci thought, enraptured by this scarlet beauty and unable to take a single breath or look away even for a second.
“It’s rude to talk about others behind their backs you know,” the lady in red drawled, rubbing the coral bead at the end of her braid between her fingertips, “especially when I’m right here.”
Tian Ci’s eyebrows shot up as his eyes widened comically, before he gulped and let out a squeak that he definitely was not proud of.
Shi Qingxuan laughed nervously as she patted Tian Ci on his arm, “It’s just good old curiosity, comes with being new! No harm was intended, isn’t that right? Tian Ci was just leaving, wasn’t he? He’s leaving! Let’s not let this interrupt our tea? We were having such a good time!”
The lady- no, Hua Cheng leveled him with a piercing glare, and Tian Ci shrank into himself.
“I, uh, I was just- yes, I was just leaving,” Tian Ci mumbled, dropping his gaze to his feet, his fists balled next to him, shaking himself mentally.
He turned to leave as quickly as his leaden limbs allowed, and heard them shuffle into the tea room, but they must have left the door open because he could hear Shi Qingxuan whining .
“Hua-jie!” Shi Qingxuan wailed, “Did you have to scare the newbie like that?!”
“Of course I did,” Hua Cheng smirked, her voice curling in amusement, “How else am I going to keep myself entertained in this dreary place while Gege is busy?”
Wait, what? Crimson Rain Sought Flower was here in the heavenly realm because of someone? Tian Ci risked a glance back to see into the tea room.
Shi Qingxuan was shaking her head in exasperation, but she took a seat next to Hua Cheng, who was taking a delicate little sip from her teacup. Tian Ci’s footsteps grinded to a halt as he couldn’t help but stare, instantly mesmerized by the rouge marks now staining the rims. Heat crept up the back of his neck as he stared.
“I can’t believe you,” Shi Qingxuan said, but there was no heat to it, “You’re going to scare all my new friends away. Be nice, or I’ll tell on you! Now turn yourself around and let me finish your braid. Your beloved Gege better appreciate the things I do for him.”
Hua Cheng's smirk softened into a genuine smile at that comment and Tian Ci blinked, hardly able to believe his eyes.The Ghost King (Queen?) looked almost... sentimental?
Tian Ci suddenly felt his insides turn to ice as Hua Cheng tilted her chin up and seemed to realise he was still lurking in the hallway.
“What are you still waiting for?” she narrowed her eyes at him, “Scram!”
Tian Ci ran.
--
Tian Ci had hit nothing but roadblocks since that fateful day in Shi Qingxuan's palace.
At least it wasn't a completely wasted trip. Tian Ci now knew that:
- The ghost he met was Hua Cheng (holy shit it was Hua Cheng),
- Hua Cheng could shapeshift (into an extremely beautiful woman at that, but Tian Ci was not about to examine that thought thank you very much) and
- Hua Cheng had a 'Gege' - someone in the heavens that he spends his day waiting for.
All in all, he did get valuable information. Tian Ci would count that as a win.
He spent the next few days asking around in discreet whispers what people knew about Hua Cheng, and kept it neatly recorded in a scroll titled "Investigation of Crimson Rain Sought Flower in the Heavenly Realms - Emissary or Threat?". He figured if it was well documented and neatly chronicled, he would be able to draw out the patterns and discover something . Someone was bound to take him seriously after that.
What Tian Ci knew for certain boiled down to a few sad facts:
- Everyone spoke in fear of that incident about a thousand years ago where Hua Cheng challenged 33 heavenly officials, won, and utterly destroyed all their temples in a night for not holding up their end of the bet.
- While almost everyone spoke in fear of him, they simply shook their heads when asked why he was allowed in the heavenly realm, reluctant to say more. The only clue he had was this started only after the fall of Jun Wu, close to two hundred years ago.
- Tian Ci’s own working theory was that Hua Cheng was here as an emissary for the Ghost Realm - but what kind of business required an extended stay that almost resembled an all-access pass to the heavenly realm?
- There were a select few that he was rumoured to keep regular company with - strangely, Lord (Lady?) Windmaster Shi Qingxuan, a heavenly official that often appeared with Shi Qingxuan that was simply referred to as "He-xiong", and what he surmised was a fallen god and accompanying emissary from the ghost realm named Yin Yu.
- He spends a lot of time in meetings that were of utmost secrecy in the halls of the Heavenly Emperor's private palace. Tian Ci had been warned repeatedly by multiple gods that he did NOT want to witness it, but Tian Ci didn't have a clue what sort of business a Ghost King could have with the Heavenly Emperor that would require so many frequent and highly secluded discussions.
Tian Ci sighed in defeat as he rolled his scroll shut, resigned to yet another day of more questions than answers. He sat on the steps of his palace, looking lost and forlorn.
Despite his best efforts and his earnesty, he really was getting nowhere. Tian Ci sighed deeply and was still pondering over this issue when a fellow immortal who was passing by his palace smiled at him in greeting. Tian Ci smiled back, but he was certain that with his current mood, it looked more like a grimace. The immortal paused in his step, and looked thoughtfully at him. For a moment, Tian Ci panicked internally and wondered if he had met this god before, and if he had accidentally slighted him by not greeting him by his title, but he truly couldn’t remember ever meeting anyone who wore plain white robes and a bamboo hat.
The immortal approached him and reached into the sleeves of his robes, before pulling out a soft-looking steamed bun, offering it to Tian Ci.
"You seem troubled," the white-robed god smiled, "and you looked like you needed cheering up."
Tian Ci smiled weakly and thanked the god for the hot steamed bun. It's been a while since he last enjoyed such simple comforts.
"You have my thanks," Tian Ci said, pensive as he bit into the bun. It was soft and chewy, and the nostalgia of the taste and the memories of being human ached inside him.
The white-robed god gestured politely to the spot next to him. “May I?”
“Please do,” Tian Ci responded, and the god sat down on the steps with him.
“I know it’s tough adjusting to godhood,” the mysterious god said, “but if you need a listening ear, I’m willing.”
Tian Ci rolled the half-eaten bun between his palms and hummed non committedly. The god in white waited.
“I’m new around here, and there’s plenty I don’t understand,” Tian Ci said, shaking his head, “I’ve always prided myself for being a pretty good investigator when I was human, and I just wanted to help, but sometimes it feels like I’m just sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong, and no one seems willing to be forthcoming. It’s daunting.”
“I know how it feels to feel like you don’t fit in,” the god said softly, “And to feel like no one is listening to what you say. But there will always be someone who is willing to listen. I’m here, aren’t I?”
Tian Ci huffed a laugh. “You’re right, I suppose. I guess I’m just frustrated my investigations have been going nowhere. But you’re right - thanks for sitting here with me.”
The god smiled kindly at him, and nodded in return. “As for your investigations, maybe you can bounce some ideas off me. Two heads are better than one!”
“You know what, you’re absolutely right!” Tian Ci’s face lit up, “I’ve been investigating this strange phenomena I’ve noticed in heaven, maybe you can help me!”
“I've been asking around but no one has been upfront with me - why is Hua Cheng allowed here in the heavenly realm and why isn't anyone doing anything about it?! Isn't anyone afraid he'll wreck havoc like he did centuries ago? Even the Heavenly Emperor seems entirely twirled around his little finger, from what I’ve heard! Coming and going out of his palace and shutting themselves in for hours at once, sometimes even accompanied by loud suspicious noises, what on earth could they be up to?"
The god in white seemed to have choked on his own bun and coughed, sputtering and pounding at his chest, his entire face flaming red. The bun must have gone down the wrong pipe, and Tian Ci felt a twinge of guilt for causing him alarm.
"Ahahaha um I’m sure they’re very proper, very proper! Discussing business! What else could it be? Hahahaha don’t let your imagination run away with you!” the god gestured frantically, before a contemplative look crossed his face, “And about Hua Cheng, he's really not half as wicked as they say, just because he's a Ghost King doesn't inherently make him bad you know, he’s really very sweet! You really shouldn't jump to conclusions like that..."
Tian Ci’s face was scrunched up in indignance, an argument ready on the tip of his tongue when they were suddenly interrupted by two martial gods running down the street and yelling “Your Highness!”
The god looked startled but stood up quickly, “Feng Xin, Mu Qing, what is wrong?”
The one that Tian Ci recognised as General Nan Yang stopped and bowed at the god in white. “Your Highness! It’s Qi Rong, the lantern he’s been kept in has been shaking violently and we think he’s about to break free! Come quick, we’ll need to keep him contained!”
The god’s face settled into a grimace, before putting up two fingers to his temple and speaking into a private array. A few seconds later, he pulled away and looked up with the two generals.
“Alright, I’ve asked San Lang to meet us there. At least Qi Rong won’t dare to try much in his presence,” the god said, and General Nan Yang nodded in agreement, while the other general scowled and looked as though he had swallowed something sour.
“Do you need my help?” Tian Ci asked, and the white-robed god shook his head kindly.
“That won’t be necessary. My husband San Lang will have the situation under control. We’ll have to resume our conversation another day, I’m afraid. Just look for me next time, I’ll explain more! It was nice meeting you, Tian Ci!”
Tian Ci was surprised that the god knew his name, and it showed clearly on his face. He recovered quickly and asked, “Thank you for your offer! I don’t even know your name though. How do I address you, fellow heavenly official?”
The general with the permanent scowl on his face suddenly turned a look of great incredulity on him. “What the fuck? You really don’t know who he is?”
The god in white quickly placed his hands on the shoulders of both his generals and started ushering them away, before turning back to wave goodbye to Tian Ci. “Don’t worry about them, I’ll see you around! My name’s Xie Lian, by the way!”
Tian Ci stood waving at his doorstep and looked on as the three squabbling silhouettes grew smaller and slowly faded into the distance. He turned the name around in his mind and wondered why it was so familiar.
Then it hit him.
He’d been moping around and talking to Xie Lian, The Crown Prince who Pleased the Gods, The Flower-crowned Martial God, The Heavenly Emperor himself.
Tian Ci’s legs suddenly turned to jelly.
--
It was two weeks into his ascension before Tian Ci stepped into the Great Martial Hall. Tian Ci had chosen to hibernate in his own palace after his mortifying run-in with the Heavenly Emperor, but his curiosity eventually got the better of him. What better day to start attending court than on Winter Solstice? Perhaps he’ll be lucky and the cases would be short and easy to follow, since everyone would be in a holiday mood.
He had heard rumours that it wasn’t that long ago that you had to earn your way into the martial hall - new gods like him would have needed to accumulate plenty of merits, done phenomenal deeds in order to be awarded a place of honour like this. But with the downfall of Jun Wu and the appointment of the new Heavenly Emperor, the hall had been rebuilt to be larger than before, and now any god who wished to attend court could.
Tian Ci had been baffled by his bizarre encounter with Xie Lian, and so he attended to observe the Heavenly Emperor, but he didn’t expect it would be quite so dull. He could barely see Xie Lian from where he stood, but decked out in courtly robes, he could hardly reconcile the white-robed god he spoke to with the image of the Heavenly Emperor he saw before him now.
The Heavenly Emperor held court with grace and an air of impartiality. His grace and beauty was clearly extraordinary even amongst gods, but what really surprised Tian Ci was how compassionate he was. God after god came forth to present case after case, and Xie Lian heard them all and dished out solutions that all had the common people at heart. He didn’t let merits or power sway his decisions, even in the face of blatant frustration from several gods. Tian Ci felt the admiration in him growing.
But there were only so many cases that one could endure, and after the sixteenth case of the day, Tian Ci’s attention was waning. He looked around the hall to see how the other gods were faring, before he suddenly realised that a single silver butterfly had slipped through the doors of the Great Martial Hall and was fluttering towards the Emperor’s throne. It was almost imperceptible, except Xie Lian's attention had shifted minutely in the butterfly's direction, and Tian Ci knew for sure he had noticed.
The butterfly shimmered and glided over, sunlight dancing over its razor sharp wings. It flitted over Xie Lian’s robes, before coming to a perch on his shoulder. Tian Ci realised with a start that it was a deadly wraith butterfly, one that belonged to the Ghost King.
The Heavenly Emperor was in danger!
Without warning, the double doors of the hall burst open and a tall, red-robed ghost with strikingly handsome features and an eye patch over his right eye strode into the hall.
The entire hall fell silent, and no one seemed to dare to breathe.
The Ghost King looked around the hall and tutted. The gods all tried their best to avoid his gaze.
“If you’re all quite done with your inane requests,” Hua Cheng said in a voice that was laced with disdain, “I’m here for your Heavenly Emperor. I'll be taking him with me now.”
Tian Ci couldn’t believe his eyes - Crimson Rain Sought Flower had essentially declared the kidnapping of their Heavenly Emperor before the heavenly court, but instead of public outcry, the gods all made way, parting in the middle to let Hua Cheng pass. Everyone was just going to let this happen?!
"Stop right there!” Tian Ci felt himself say, and suddenly he was standing in front of the Emperor’s throne, armed with nothing but a trembling scroll he pointed at Hua Cheng, “You’ve got a lot of guts walking into the martial hall with your demands! I won’t allow you to hurt His Highness!”
That stopped Hua Cheng in his tracks and he raised an eyebrow at Tian Ci. “Oh?” he said, amusement in his tone, “And you think I’m going to hurt His Highness?”
The Heavenly Emperor himself had risen from his throne and descended the steps hurriedly, shaking his head at the scene. He tugged at Tian Ci’s arm to lower his threatening stance, and stood between them both.
“Tian Ci, don’t worry it’s not what you think! Hua Cheng just impatient,” said Xie Lian, patting him on the shoulder, “He would never hurt me.”
Hua Cheng’s lips curled up in a fake smile that made his skin crawl. His cold gaze bore into Tian Ci, but something that resembled mirth was dancing in the depth of his eye.
“I don’t have the patience for this,” Hua Cheng declared, and he strode over to the Heavenly Emperor in two steps, wrapped his arm around Xie Lian's waist as Xie Lian's cheeks coloured, before bursting into a flurry of silver butterflies. By the time Tian Ci had lowered the arms that he instinctively threw over his face, the both of them were gone.
Tian Ci could only gape.
The heavenly court did not, as Tian Ci expected, burst into chaos after having their Heavenly Emperor kidnapped by a Ghost King right in front of their eyes. In fact, there was nothing but disgruntled muttering and the shuffling of feet, as gods began to turn tail and trickle out of the hall.
Tian Ci reached out to the gods closest to him and bodily blocked their paths to the exit. He had spotted them with Xie Lian just a couple of days ago, and they seemed familiar with each other - Tian Ci thought they would be his best bet.
He bowed quickly to get formalities out of the way, before straightening his back and launching straight into it.
“General Nan Yang, General Xuan Zhen, will you be going after His Highness? If you’re putting together a rescue mission, I volunteer! I will help anyway I can!”
“Fuck no,” General Xuan Zhen deadpanned, “They’re absolutely fine. There’s no way I'm going after them and subjecting myself to... that.”
Tian Ci’s jaw dropped in shock. He looked desperately toward General Nan Yang, hoping for a different response.
“Don’t look at me,” General Nan Yang said, visibly repressing a shudder, “Mu Qing is right, for once. There’s no way in hell I’m going anywhere near them while they’re... they’re... you know, clearly busy .”
“Well if none of you are going to do anything, I’ll rescue him myself! How can you still call yourselves his friends?” Tian Ci declared, “I won’t leave him to die at Hua Cheng’s hands!”
General Nan Yang gave him a look that screamed “are you freaking kidding me”, but Tian Ci really wasn’t, so he held his gaze and stared him down in defiance, daring him to contradict him.
General Nan Yang’s eyes went wide.
"Holy shit, you really don't know who he is," General Nan Yang breathed.
“I do?” Tian Ci said, “He’s Crimson Rain Sought Flower, Scourge of the Heavens?!"
"Not just Crimson Rain Sought Flower, you colossal doofus," said General Nan Yang, "He's the Heavenly Emperor's hus-"
Before he could finish his sentence, General Xuan Zhen held his hands over General Nan Yang’s mouth and the rest of it was drowned in muffled protests.
“Why don’t you go find out who exactly he is to His Highness, huh?” yelled General Xuan Zhen over the increasingly distressed General Nan Yang, “They’re at Paradise Manor, in the Ghost City. Go on, go find His Highness! Hell, I’ll even draw a distance-shortening array for you myself. This way!”
If someone else was going to provide the spiritual energy for long distance travel, who was Tian Ci to complain? He took up General Xuan Zhen’s offer, and stepped from an open door in heaven into the streets of Ghost City.
--
Ghost City was loud, bustling, completely rowdy, and its citizens were absolutely unfazed that an undisguised heavenly official (albeit an extremely new heavenly official) was casually walking around the marketplace. It was everything Tian Ci had read about and more, but even the most elaborate stories could not capture the sheer energy in the atmosphere, the unbridled wildness that refused to be tamed. His gaze danced from stall to stall, demon to ghost, everything so marvellously chaotic that it melded into a delicious thrum in the air, a taste of anticipation on his tongue. He truly had never seen anything like this.
Tian Ci had to remind himself that he wasn’t here for fun, that he was here on a Very Important Rescue Mission, and had to forcefully tear his eyes away from the dubious-looking meat hanging at the front of the street stalls and remind himself it probably wasn’t edible anyway.
Flagging down the meekest, most human-looking ghost, Tian Ci quickly asked about Paradise Manor’s whereabouts.
“Paradise Manor?” The ghost responded, face turning an even more deathly shade of pale as he looked nervously in one direction, “You courting death or something? What the hell are you going to do, bang on Hua Chengzu’s door? Chengzu and Granduncle are not to be disturbed! Shoo, off with you!”
“Wait, who’s granduncle-” Tian Ci started, but the ghost had already fled quickly and disappeared into the crowd.
No matter, Tian Ci thought. He wasn’t the top of his generation for nothing, and he can put two and two together. Looking up at the direction the ghost glanced at, he could just barely make out elaborate roof tiles and carvings that look like they wouldn’t be out of place in a heavenly palace.
Tian Ci picked up his pace and hurried in that direction.
--
Tian Ci circled the compound twice before he found the hidden servants’ entrance. It was protected by an array, and the servants seem to pass through freely with a complicated-looking talisman. Thankfully, Tian Ci spent much of his life studying such arrays, and after observing one of the servants activating one, he replicated the seal on a spare talisman paper.
Bracing himself, he tested it out and walked towards the door.
It let him in.
Tian Ci breathed a sigh of relief so loud he winced at his stupidity. Then he ducked behind one of the pillars and tried to find his bearings.
Taking out another slip of talisman paper, he scribbled quickly on it with a cinnabar and activated it, sending it off into the manor. It was one of his own inventions - whenever it came to rescuing human hostages in ghost-infested dens, a talisman to seek out the ‘Yang’ energy came in particularly handy. He hoped it would help him find Xie Lian this time.
The talisman zipped through the air in a flash and Tian Ci followed suit, going from pillar to pillar to ensure he stayed hidden. The servants were conspicuously missing - for a manor this large, it seemed like the closer he got, the lesser activity there was. What was going on?
Soon, he heard voices talking in low murmurs, and he stilled his footsteps, coming to a stop right outside the kitchens. Chattering could be heard from within.
“His Highness works too hard,” came a deep, silky-smooth voice, and if Tian Ci didn’t recognise it as the Ghost King’s, he would’ve sworn it sounded... petulant, “But this Ghost King has been so good and so patient, he won’t be denied his reward any longer. Let me show you exactly what I mean.”
A small chuckle accompanied by a non-committal hum was the only response he heard, before any further sounds were muffled by what sounded like something soft being slapped on a hard counter.
Tian Ci couldn’t resist the urge to peek in any longer. What manner of ‘reward’ did the Heavenly Emperor promise the Ghost King? What on earth were the two of them doing in the kitchens, anyway?
He sent a seeing-eye talisman to sneak in through the crevices of the doors, and opened his mind’s eye to watch.
From this angle, their backs were facing him but Hua Cheng’s entire frame had blocked out the Heavenly Emperor’s, and he looked like he was... moving repeatedly, rising up a little to press down on something at the kitchen counter, again and again.
Tian Ci’s mind went south fast and he gasped aloud. He had known Hua Cheng was evil, but to defile the Heavenly Emperor like this...!
Without a second thought, Tian Ci burst through the kitchen doors and yelled, “Stop right there! I won’t let you have your wicked ways with the Heavenly Emperor!”
Both men immediately whirled around in shock, twin gaping expressions trained on the intruder and Tian Ci’s mind went numb at the sight that greeted him.
Hua Cheng and Xie Lian were both covered in flour, hands sticky and full of dough that they’d just been kneading at the counter. The kitchen counter was full of tiny little glutinous rice dumplings that were half formed, and assorted fillings of sesame paste and chopped peanuts lay on the table in a little assembly line waiting to be rolled into shape.
“Tian Ci!” Xie Lian cried, “What’s the meaning of this?!”
“What do you mean what’s the meaning of this! What the fuck is going on?!” Tian Ci pointed at Crimson Rain Sought Flower with a trembling finger, “He just stormed the heavenly courts and kidnapped you! I followed you guys and then I saw him moving up and down on the counter and I thought... I thought...”
At that admission, Hua Cheng burst out laughing as Xie Lian turned an impressive shade of red.
“We were making dumplings for Dong Zhi!” Xie Lian exclaimed, refusing to let Tian Ci finish that thought, “Crimson Rain Sought Flower was just guiding me through the steps since I keep messing up the dough, it’s all very proper!”
Hua Cheng laughed louder and snaked his arms around Xie Lian’s waist, ignoring the incredulous looks Tian Ci was leveling at him, “Sure, very proper, I was just guiding Gege from behind, with my arms around him to show him exactly how to knead the dough...”
Gege? Tian Ci thought, THIS was Hua Cheng’s Gege?!
“San Lang ah...” Xie Lian shot the Ghost King an exasperated look, looking as though he wished the ground would open up and swallow him whole.
Something stirred in Tian Ci’s memory at that name and he racked his brain for where he had heard that before.
“Gege, looks like your newest recruit has his mind completely in the gutter, maybe we shouldn’t disappoint him and get right to it...” Hua Cheng never finished his sentence with Xie Lian desperately slapping a flour-covered hand over his mouth to muffle the rest.
“SAN LANG!” cried Xie Lian, even more embarrassed than before.
Then it struck Tian Ci.
“OH MY GOD YOU GUYS ARE MARRIED?!”
--
(Bonus)
Hours after the poor newbie had fled with a string of apologies, embarrassed beyond measure, Hua Cheng was still laughing at the whole debacle.
“San Lang, please...” Xie Lian chided lightly, scooping a fresh bowl of sweet dumpling soup for his menace of a husband, “Just... just eat your tang yuan and spare my poor face.”
Hua Cheng’s smirk only got wider as he attempted to hold his tongue, giving Xie Lian a sweet peck on his cheek as he accepted the bowl. It didn’t last long.
“But Gege, it was too good!” Hua Cheng started chuckling again, “He thought I was defiling you, Gege, if only he knew how vanilla that was compared to the things you beg of me...”
Xie Lian cut off Hua Cheng’s next words with a spoon full of tang yuan. The ghost king quietly accepted, chewing thoughtfully and swallowing the dumpling, before brandishing a big, warm smile at his blushing husband.
“Okay, okay, I’ll spare you. Gege’s cooking is the most delicious, by the way. Thank you for making tang yuan for this undeserving San Lang on Dong Zhi. I must be the luckiest man in all the realms,” said Hua Cheng, his eyes wrinkled into crescents, beaming with joy.
Xie Lian’s heart melted at the sight, reaching a hand out to tuck a loose lock of hair behind his husband’s ear, “You’re more than deserving, my love. There’s no one else I’d rather share a bowl of tang yuan with.”
They quietly shared the sweet dumplings until it was all gone, and Xie Lian set the bowl aside to take his husband’s hands in his. Hua Cheng smiled, bringing their linked hands to his lips to pepper kisses on Xie Lian’s knuckles.
“Now that that’s done,” said Hua Cheng, smirk creeping back onto his lips, “Would you finally let this poor husband have his well-deserved reward? I recall having a beautiful, helpless Heavenly Emperor to defile...”
“SAN LANG!”