Chapter Text
CHAPTER 13
Looking up from underneath, fractured moonlight on the sea...
The night was quiet and still as you walked across the deck of the Alcor. Not even the water splashed against the sides of the ship. Even though you were alone, you tried not to disturb the silence. You walked up to the front of the ship where the giant carved dragon watched the sea and sat on the edge of the boat, leaning over and looking into the water.
Everyone decided it would be safest to travel back to Mondstadt on Beidou’s ship so Scaramouche could be locked up safely in the holding cells. She had enough guest rooms to house everyone by themselves but of course Diluc urged you to stay with him. It was no question you two were together. He was sometimes a deep sleeper and thankfully, tonight was one of those nights. You woke up in a cold sweat as you remembered what Scaramouche attempted. You sat up, breathing hard and it took you a second to remember where you were. The gentle sway of the ship helped your breathing calm down but you still couldn’t sleep knowing a dangerous and obsessed man was just below you. You looked beside you at Diluc, who was sprawled on the white sheets, his arms draped over your waist. His crimson hair fanned out on the pillow and his face was free of worry. You always liked watching him sleep because he looked so peaceful. He was snoring slightly and you didn’t blame him. Today was an exhausting and emotionally filled day. He also didn’t get any sleep the last few days because he was too worry stricken to take care of himself. You slipped out of the bed carefully and made sure the blanket was covering him. With the wave of your hand, a short thin strapped nightgown made of ivy formed on your body. When you stepped out of the room, you felt the chilly sea air and made an ivy floor length robe to wrap around you.
Reflections still look the same to me, as before I went under...
Looking down at your reflection in the water, you hugged your body reminding yourself you’re safe and that Scaramouche will pay for what he did. You closed your eyes and concentrated on trying not to shake. You were still processing the events that unfolded today and it was a lot to take in. A glimmer across the water’s reflection made you look at the sky just in time to see a shooting star.
“It’s like the last night you were on this ship with me before you left for Mondstadt.” Beidou quietly said behind you. You jumped a little, not hearing her walk up to you. You turned around and saw she was also in a robe and barefooted. She waved and sat beside you, also looking up at the night sky.
And it's breaking over me...
“Yes, I remember. There was a meteor shower and it was beautiful.” you said as you saw another one fall down. You sighed and felt Beidou’s fingertips brush yours as you gripped the edge. You stared down at your hands and she intertwined her fingers over yours.
“Bei…”
“Wait. Just please, let me have this one last time…” she whispered. Her thumb slowly rubbed the back of your hand and you both watched it.
“I’m sorry I made a mess out of things. I never meant for you to get hurt or caught up in everything. If I had known-” she abruptly stopped when you put a hand over hers. She looked up at you with her deep red eyes.
A thousand miles down to the sea bed, found the place to rest my head...
“You couldn't have known at all. I don’t blame you for what happened. There are evil people out there but you...you did everything you could. And you came back to me alive. He told me you were dead and I felt like I lost part of myself.” You reached up and caressed her cheek, wiping away an escaped tear with your thumb. “I know what happened was horrible but something good came out of it. I gained a Vision. And we all gained each other.”
“But I lost you to him…” she said, her voice breaking.
Never let me go, never let me go…
You were at a loss of words for a moment, feeling her pain and tears welled up.
“And I guess that’s why we never worked out.” she sighed, touching your vision on your chest. “You belong to the land and I belong to the sea.”
Her words tore your heart out and you couldn’t look at her anymore, focusing your watery vision to the wooden deck. Realization washed over you like a tsunami wave and you felt sick.
And it's over and I'm going under…
Without another word, she got up and went back into the Captain’s Quarters. You followed after her, not wanting her to go so soon. Especially after what she said.. You quietly entered her dark cabin, the only light source was a single lit candlestick by her bedside table.
You stood at the doors, watching her walk away towards the back of the room.
“Wait.” you called out in a small voice, struggling to find your words.
But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in..
She looked back over her shoulder at you and silently waited for you to say more but being back in this room, your mind went blank. She slowly turned around, her face darkened by the shadows. You stepped forward but she stepped back.
You froze and tried to say what you were thinking.
“I don’t want us to leave off like that. We’ve both been through so much pain and I...I never meant to hurt you…I never realized that you....” you trailed off, a lump suddenly forming in your throat and preventing you from continuing. Her words on the deck were a slap in your face.
How could you not have seen it? She loved you, and always has.
Every gesture, every touch, every kiss she gave was a new light in your eyes and each one you now saw had love behind it. The whole time. You weren’t just a sexual experience for her, you were more.
You were her anchor. Through the raging storms out at sea, treacherous terrains, and abyssal monsters, she thought of you in Liyue and she fought to get back to you. Everytime.
You instinctively rushed to her, hugging her tightly. You heard her sniffle but her arms still wrapped around you and you bit your lip, trying your hardest not to break down but it didn’t work.
And the arms of the ocean so sweet and so cold..
“I wished I could make you happy! I wish...Archons I wish somehow we could have worked out.” you sobbed, letting it all spill out. “The journey here with you was unforgettable. I wouldn’t have wanted to see half the world with anyone else. I’ve always loved you and will continue to. You’re my best friend and-”
“Stop.” She said, her voice breaking.
“You have no idea what it is like to be in a room with someone you cannot live without and yet still feel as though you are oceans apart...Though that may be the case for me and as much as you not being mine hurts worse than a battle wound, I am happy that you are happy. That’s all I care about. That’s all I have ever cared about. I would sacrifice my happiness and my life to make you smile.” She kissed you, a soft and sad kiss. A kiss that said goodbye like a wave returning to the ocean. Her arms wrapped tighter around you as she drowned you in it, cherishing the last sensual moment with you. But it was short lived as she broke it and stepped away, but still held onto your hand.
And all this devotion I never knew at all...
“I will always be here for you. No matter who you’re with, no matter what happens. I will always sail back to you.”
Your tears fell heavily and you felt faint.
And the crashes are heaven for a sinner like me...
She let your hand go and turned around. You caught a glimpse of a tear falling before she backed into the darkness of her bathroom.
You tried to reach out but she slipped away, the door closing and all your hand could do was grab the air and your heart broke.
And the arms of the ocean delivered me..
For the wave of realization washed over you one more time and the tables were turned.
It was your turn to leave and break someone else’s heart. Not knowing, she would be the victim.
Never let me go, never let me go.