Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rose closed her eyes, as the bright light around her seemed to twist and gleam around her. Her momentum continued moving her forward, and she felt relief when her feet hit solid ground. A few times, she had landed on a gaseous planet, which felt like moving through jelly.

As the light retracted, she dared to open her eyes, and almost gasped as she looked up at the sky. Instead of the dark blue of a night’s sky on Earth, this planet-because it couldn’t be Earth, it just couldn’t-was a deep purple, not that far off from the colour of her jacket. The stars were still shining bright here, meaning she’d gone much farther than she’d intended.

She sighed deeply, tired of the endless jumps. Rose let her body hunch over itself, bringing her arms to rest on her thighs. She still hadn’t gotten it right. She’d jumped too early on Earth, or too late to make a difference, or to entirely different parallel worlds. This one, for all she knew, was all three.

She just wanted to see the Doctor.

Blinking back her exhausted tears, she forced herself to stand up again, and took a look at the horizon. She wasn’t far from what looked like an outpost from a sci-fi movie, with weird little towers and little spaceships hovering in the atmosphere. She was just lucky she could breathe, wherever she was.

She stood there, simply taking it all in, feeling time pass around her. It felt...normal, she realized. This was the right universe at least, but far from Earth. Why had she landed here, of places?

It didn’t hurt to look around, she decided. She had the better part of an hour before the dimension cannon would be ready, and she didn’t have to leave right away, in case anyone needed help. She glanced down to the cannon and tried to read the name of the planet. It was written in script she’d never seen before, and she didn’t have the benefit of the TARDIS to translate in her mind. She’d just have to hope someone out here could speak English.

If not, well, there was always running.

She found herself walking quickly, her steps somewhat bouncy. There must have been less gravity here, Rose though, as she launched herself forward, almost giggling. She got to the outpost quicker than she’d expected, following what seemed to be a dirt trail. The ground was dark red, similar to a clay desert. The trail turned into a stone path as she approached the outpost.

Rose tensed her fingers as she got closer, one of her hands coming to rest on her dimension cannon on her waist. She tucked it into her jacket, not wanting to attract any unwanted attention.

The path led into a number of buildings, which looked like a mixture of something out of the Jetsons and almost a Middle Ages city. They were tall, with odd sorts of towers branching out above them, made of silvery metal that close up looked like stones, just like the path Rose was following. As she ventured further into the settlement, she could hear the high notes of woodwind instruments, accompanying a lower percussion beat.

Rose realized it was music. It didn’t sound like any she’d heard before, but she and the Doctor had traveled to a number of planets where the form of music had been far worse to her ears. Even the Doctor hadn’t enjoyed the music on planet Cyum, where the residents screeched for several hours straight.

She followed the sounds, passing through the buildings. It was only once she turned to the right that she discovered the residents of this planet. A large selection of humans and aliens were passing through what looked like a market, spread out amongst a lifted stage, where the music was coming from.

It was clearly a festival of some sort, and Rose felt a lot of the tension leave her body. No violence, no problems to solve. The dimension cannon must have just miscalculated, she realized, watching a human child rush by, laughing, with what looked like a red, spiky boy following him.

Rose smiled, and let her eyes take it all in. Behind the musicians, there was a building that could easily be mistaken for a church back home, with a tall steeple. It was made out of the same material as the other buildings, and had glass windows with light shining through. It could be a religious holiday, Rose considered, letting her eyes trail to the marketplace, full of laughter and conversation. She was too far to see if she could understand the language, but knowing she had landed in a place full of families and laughter relaxed her even further.

Her eyes continued, stopping at a figure leaning against one of the buildings near the other end of the market. The figure looked like a human man, with a long coat nearly reaching his feet. Her heart began beating faster, and she hurried across the market, not even hearing the music anymore.

Could it be...? As she got closer, she noticed the body was all wrong, the chest too thick, the coat too dark. But her eyes widened anyway, as the face came out of the shadows.

Jack.

She stopped in place, just looking at him. He looked older than he had all those years ago, when he’d kissed her and the Doctor so sweetly, and turned and marched to what Rose had been sure would be his death.

But the Doctor had promised he’d been fine, he just didn’t want to come along- and Rose didn’t know how she could argue. For the longest time, she couldn’t remember anything beyond looking into the Heart of the TARDIS before waking up on the floor. The last few months, while jumping with the cannon, hints of her memories had come back- the Doctor’s face, looking up at her, eyes wide, his lips on hers, the Emperor of the Daleks screaming-so much screaming-, but nothing of Jack.

Until now.

He must have felt her eyes on him, as he turned his head slightly. He pulled up from the wall when his eyes met hers, and Rose took off at a sprint. She ran with a reckless abandon, feeling the cannon slip back to its spot on her hip. Jack ran just as quickly, and opened his arms as she jumped into them. She twisted her arms around his neck, and felt his hands at her waist.

“Jack,” she whispered, mouth close to his ear, resting on the thick dark coat which had alerted her to his presence.

“Rose,” he replied, voice almost amazed. He twirled her around, laughing easily. She closed her eyes, finding relief in a sound she’d never thought she’d hear again.

He put her down gently, and pulled his hand up to tilt her face up towards him. “I didn’t expect this! How are you here?” He asked, eyes wide, trying to take all of her in at once.

She did the same, looking at every new laugh line on his face, crinkles around his eyes- how long had it been? She wondered.

“I’m looking for the Doctor,” she said, breathlessly. “Have you seen him?”

His mouth widened, but before he replied, he looked down at her dark leather jacket, at the dimension cannon peaking through.

“You haven’t found him yet?” he asked, voice sounding oddly strangled.

Rose shook her head. “No, but I need to, quick. The stars Jack, the stars are-”

“Going out,” he finished, smile dropping. “I remember.”

Rose felt her excitement fade as well. “I’m too late?”

Jack shook his head, his hand still stroking her cheek. “No, you’re just at the wrong point in my timeline.”

“You’re going to be there too?” Rose asked, eyes wide. “But you were in the year 200,100- how did you-”

Jack cut her off. “How long do you have until that thing is charged again?” he asked, gesturing to the cannon.

Rose pulled it off her belt and tapped it. Somehow, barely ten minutes had passed since she’d landed. “Almost an hour.”

Jack smiled again, and reached down and took her hand. “Then let’s go talk somewhere a bit quieter.”

She nodded, and let him lead her down the path next to the building he’d been leaning against. As they walked away from the square, the music became more and more muted. As they twisted and turned amongst the buildings, Rose asked, “Are you living here?”

“Just temporarily,” Jack said, smiling slightly. “I had just stopped by accident, but the people here needed some help, and I was uniquely qualified to offer. It took a while, but I fixed their problem, saved the day. You’d be pretty proud of me, Rosie.”

“Is that why they’re celebrating?” Rose asked, tilting her head.

“Yup,” Jack told her, coming to a stop before a small door on their right. He jumbled something in the pocket of his coat, and pulled out a pair of what looked like old fashioned keys.

Rose let her hand drop from him as he unlocked the door. “I was half expecting you to lead me to a spaceship,” she admitted, watching him push the door open.

“Nothing that fancy here,” Jack laughed, and gestured for her to go first. She walked through, and took in the small room. It was barely comparable to the old apartment back at the Estate, instead looking like one large room, with one door which was no doubt to the bathroom. Rose moved and stood in front of the tiny table, and sat down so Jack could follow her inside.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jack announced, making a little bow. Rose giggled. “Now, it’s cold out, and I could offer you something warm, but you’re here! We should be celebrating!” His face lit up again. “I don’t think what I have is comparable to human champagne, but-”

“I wish I could,” Rose told him. “But I shouldn’t drink with how unpredictable this thing is,” she added, motioning to her cannon. Jack nodded in understanding.

“A lesson I never learned with my vortex manipulator,” he joked. “So what will it be Rose- I could make some tea. Or well,” his face took on an odd twist, “it’s not really coffee, but it’s close.”

“Just tea, ta.” Rose asked. Jack nodded, and turned back to the small kitchen behind him. With his giant coat on, he started getting their drinks together. If Rose closed her eyes, they could have been back on the TARDIS, as those years ago.

She cleared her throat, not wanting to get choked up. “So, what did you do to help these people?” She asked, raising her voice over the space kettle Jack was filling.

“Oh, there was a rift in time and space here,” he told her. “It was acting up oddly, stealing their children in a weird pattern. I have particular experiences which made this one an easy one to solve.”

“Rift?” Rose asked, confused. “How was it stealing their children?”

Jack put the kettle on the odd looking stove top, and turned to look at her. “Yup, rift in time and space, just like the one in Cardiff, remember? It was acting at odd intervals because of the type of nuclear power the people here use to power their city. The radiation was leaking into the rift, on a monthly basis, at the same day where the children of the town perform a certain religious ritual.”

That explained the church, Rose thought.

“It was hiding them in a pocket dimension created by the radiation. I built them a rift monitor, but it took until the end of the month for us to break into the pocket dimension and get them all back.”

“Jack Harkness, how far you’ve come!” Rose exclaimed. “Saving children.”

Jack’s face took another odd twist, and he turned back to the cabinets and got out a pair of mugs.

“It’s been a long time since you’ve seen me,” Jack said, softly. Rose could barely hear him over the kettle. “How do you have so much faith in me?”

Rose swallowed. “I always had faith in you,” she said, softly. He turned around and caught her eye. There were tears welling in the corner of his eyes. “You’ve never disappointed me before.”

Jack swallowed hard, and looked back at the stove and started pouring their tea. Rose took the moment to look around the small room. It was mostly impersonal, with what must pass as hallway art on this word hanging on the walls. The bed was plain, and the only knickknack sitting on the bedside table was a small tin box.

Rose looked back at Jack as he set the tea in front of her. “It's hot, give it a minute,” he said, still sounding a bit choked up. Rose pulled the cup into her hands, and let the steam drift onto her face.

She looked back at Jack, who was still looking at her, almost in amazement. “How did you get back to the 21st century?” Rose asked, tired of waiting. “The Doctor told me-”

“He lied,” Jack said, voice getting stronger. “He left without me.”

Rose let her mouth fall open. “Jack, he wouldn’t, you know he’d never leave you behind-”

“He did, Rosie.” He said, with a bitter laugh. “He told me later that he had a reason, but I’m sure you wouldn’t think it was a very good one.”

“What was it?” Rose tried to think back. She remembered the pain in her head, the righteous power in her chest- but nothing of Jack.

Jack shook his head. “I can’t tell you. You didn’t know before, I can’t tell you and mess up the timeline.”

Rose grumbled. “No matter what it was, he shouldn’t have done it,” she insisted. For some reason, Sarah Jane’s words about how the Doctor had left her in Aberdeen echoed in her mind. And her own-”Is that what you’re going to do to me?”

“No. Not to you.”

He hadn’t said anything about Jack.

She swallowed, trying to push past it. Just another thing to add to her list to talk to the Doctor about once she found him. Somewhere under the question on the top of the list- How was that sentence going to end?

“Did you use your wrist strap?”

Jack nodded. He was looking at his tea still. “I tried to go back to Cardiff, to the rift, figuring he’d have to go back there to refuel again. I landed too early, and it took a long time to find a Doctor who’s timeline was synced with mine.”

“So you lived in Cardiff?” Rose asked, remembering his line about the rift. “And you watched over the rift.”

“Yup,” Jack popped, like the Doctor was always doing. “Had a little team, and everything,” He smiled humorlessly. “Until I lost them all.”

Rose’s heart ached at the pain in his face. “I’m sorry Jack,” she said, softly.

He looked back at her, and his face softened. “You’d have liked them,” he told her. “They were all brave, all good people, at the heart of it.”

Rose reached out and took his hand. “But you found him again?” She paused before adding, “with his new face?”

Jack nodded. “Yup- big hair, pinstripes and all. He stopped in and I tagged along for what was no doubt the worst year of my life. But not because of him,” he added quickly, before Rose could react. “He got us out of it, in the end, and I went back to my team. I couldn’t,” he swallowed. “I couldn’t stay with him Rose, not after what he told me.”

Rose let the silence hang, and took her first sip of her tea. It was strong, and tasted like what she imagined tree trunks to taste like. She stuck her tongue out, scowling.

Jack chuckled. “Should have warned you, sorry. The coffee’s not much better.”

“Why do you bother to have them?” she joked, setting the cup back down.

Jack’s face twisted again. The silence sat between them so long she expected him to push past it, but he began to answer. “One of my team- his name was Ianto, Ianto Jones- he started out almost like an office boy, and one of the things he used to do was make us coffee.” He swallowed hard.

“I loved him.”

That explained his face earlier when he’d mentioned coffee, she realized. Rose rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. “I’m sorry, Jack,” she said, softly.

He met her eyes again, before taking a sip of his own tea. “I always try to find coffee, or whatever is closest, wherever I go,” he said softly. “My little way of keeping him alive, I guess. And it keeps me away from alcohol.”

Rose smiled at that, thinking of champagne during the Blitz.

“Maybe we should have some of that champagne,” Rose said tilting her head and letting her tongue slip through her smile. “Honor his memory.”

Jack smiled back at her. “Thought you’d never ask!” He stood up, taking both of their mugs and puttering about in the kitchen. Rose stood up, looking around. The only thing to really look at was the old tin box and she reached out and ran her hand on it, realizing how old and damaged it was.

“You can look in it,” Jack told her. She looked over her shoulder and saw him shaking some sort of clear bottle. “It has a bunch of old pictures in it. You can see my team.”

Rose eagerly took the box, and moved to sit down again. She opened it gently, and saw it was full of old pictures, some looking hundreds of years older than her. She looked at old yellow printed pictures of Jack in fancy dress, of a pretty woman who looked like she belonged in the 1940s, a little girl with curly brown hair. Underneath them all was a picture of four people, sitting outside on some steps.

The first person on the right was a woman with dark hair, laughing so hard Rose could see the gap in her teeth. She was leaning against a short haired thin man, who was smiling as well, despite his pale complexion. On his other side was a smaller woman, holding what looked like a PDA, but she was grinning too, face turned towards the fourth person in the picture.

He was a tall man in suit, hair nicely styled, smiling out one side of his mouth. He must have been the one they were laughing at, Rose realized, seeing how smug he was.

Jack had come up behind her at some point, and he pointed over her shoulder. “That’s them,” he said softly. “My last Torchwood team.”

Rose felt her eyebrows raise- he hadn’t said anything about Torchwood before. But Jack didn’t see her surprise, and kept going. “Gwen, Owen, Tosh.” he pointed, right to left.

“Gwen almost looks familiar,” Rose said, trailing off. There was something about her face, about her gap tooth smile, that reminded her of another Gwyneth, of the Gelth and the rift in Cardiff. “Someone the Doctor and I met in Cardiff in 1869, with Charles Dickens.”

“She’s Welsh, so maybe they’re related,” Jack said, smiling. “Classic Gwen, always finding a way to nose her way into anything to do with the rift.” He paused for a moment, and kept going. “Gwen’s still alive, I go back and see her and her family sometimes. And,“ he took a deep breath. “That’s Ianto,” he pointed to the man on the left.

Rose traced his face. “He looks good in that suit,” she said softly, trying to keep it light. There was something about his face, too, but Rose couldn’t quite place it.

To her relief, Jack laughed at that. “I always told him that. And you can’t even see the backside,” he added, no doubt leering over her shoulder.

She looked back up at him, and saw his face was softer than she’d expected. He handed her a fancy glass.

“Now, remember what I said, it’s not exactly champagne.” Jack warned her, coming to sit across from her again.

“Just like you’re not exactly a captain?” she teased, her big-eared Doctor’s words echoing in her mind.

Jack grinned. “Exactly. Now,” he lifted his glass. “What shall we toast?”

Rose looked back at the picture. She thought of her big eared Doctor, who she’d never really see again. “To absent friends,” she said softly. “Both those gone and those lost.”

“To absent friends,” Jack repeated. “And absent loves,” he added softly, before clinking her glass and drinking.

Rose did the same, surprised at the fruity flavor. She liked it alot more than the tea. “So I suppose you took this one?” she asked tilting her head as she motioned to the picture.

Jack nodded. “Yup, one of those days the rift left us alone for a few hours.” He pulled the tin towards him. “But there’s one of me and Ianto in here, too.” He gently sorted through the pictures, pulling out one. “I nearly lost all of these in an explosion,” he said, softly. “Gwen slipped them back to me not that long ago. I forgot some of these even existed.”

He pushed the picture towards her, and Rose smiled. It was two men, dancing in a well lit hall. The picture wasn’t the highest quality, but she could see Ianto’s face clearly, and he looked at peace.

“That was at Gwen’s wedding,” Jack said, voice quiet. “There had been a whole thing- a shapeshifter, Gwen’s family panicking- but we got to have a nice moment, at least. Tosh took this one.”

Rose looked at him, his face lost in the memory. She wondered just how long it had been for him.

“Do you remember when we danced?” Jack asked, softly.

Rose nodded. “Dancing in front of Big Ben during the Blitz isn’t something one forgets, Jack,” she told him, tongue slipping through her lips again. “It hasn’t been that long for me, anyway.”

“How about one more?” Jack said, softly. “For old times sake?”

Rose opened her mouth, confused- he said she made it back, right? How long had it been for him?- but at the pleading look in Jack’s eyes, she nodded.

He smiled, and put down his glass and tapped on his vortex manipulator. To her surprise, Glenn Miller drifted out, taking her back to the Blitz. He offered her his hand, and she gladly took it.

Jack pulled her close, and Rose let him rock her gently. They danced for a few moments, in between the small table and the rest of the kitchen, arms wrapped around each other, just listening to the song, before Jack began to speak. “I can’t tell you everything, Rosie, no matter how much I want to,” he told her, barely above a whisper. “But I need you to know I don’t blame you- I’ve never blamed you, and no matter how bad it will get, I won’t. I’ll blame him, I’ll blame the Daleks, hell, I’ll blame myself- but not you.”

Rose looked into his eyes, feeling as lost as she had when he’d tried to negotiate with her over alien tech she barely understood. “Jack, what did I-”

“You can’t know,” Jack told her. “You didn’t know when I saw you, so you can’t know now. I don’t think you’d want me to mess with the timeline like that.” He chuckled, humorlessly. “I don’t think the Doctor would like that, either.”

He reached out and twirled a finger through her hair. “I’ve seen the Doctor a few faces on now, and I just want to let you know this is very fashionable these days,” he said, eyes light again. “You’d be surprised how much you might influence a face, Rose Tyler.”

“He’s blonde now?” Rose asked, surprised. “Has he been ginger? He always wanted to be ginger.”

Jack opened his mouth, mirth in his eyes, before shaking his head. “Nope, still not ginger.” He slid his fingers to her chin, looking down at her. “Besides that, I probably shouldn’t say more than that.” he admitted, still looking amused. “Though I do wonder how you’d react-no, no I know.” He cut himself off. “You’d adjust. You always do.”

Rose was lost, but let it go. They kept swaying. “Next time I see you, will you tell me whatever it is that’s bothering you so much?” Rose asked, softly.

Jack shook his head. “Not enough time, I’m afraid. We had a bit of a busy day,” he admitted, smiling again as his eyes looked far away. “But maybe-”

He dropped her hands, and turned back to the bedside table. He opened the drawer, and started shifting through the belongings inside. “Ah ha!” he exclaimed. He turned back to Rose, holding a blank piece of paper and a pen. “Now Rosie, no looking,” Jack pointed the pen at her, and he passed by and sat.

“You’re going to write me a letter?” Rose asked, surprised.

“And you’ll take it with you, and promise me you won’t open it until everything’s over,” Jack explained. He sat down, and almost immediately began scribbling. Rose watched for a moment, before moving back to the pictures. She flipped through each other, noting Jack’s odd mixture of clothing, differing companions. It looked like he’d taken a tour through the entire 20th century, she noted, even seeing some truly regrettable platform shoes. She took them all in, waiting for him to be done.

“There!” Jack said, happily. He blew on the ink, and carefully folded up the letter. He held it out to Rose, but before she could take it, he pulled it back. “Promise to put it in your fancy leather coat- wonder who inspired that, hmm?- and not to open it until this is all done?”

Rose rolled her eyes at the coat comment- she’d heard enough about it from Mickey-but nodded. “I promise, Jack,” she looked him dead in the eye, and he finally handed it over. She tucked the letter into the inside pocket in her jacket, and zipped it up tightly. She had no intentions of letting it out of her sight.

“Good!” Jack said, beaming. They just looked at each other, until suddenly Glenn Miller changed to someone much funkier.

Sometimes I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away

Rose laughed. “You have Tainted Love on that thing?” she asked through her giggles.

“It’s an Earth classic!” Jack exclaimed. “I’m frankly offended you think I wouldn’t!”

Rose laughed, before getting up and pulling Jack with her. They danced, Jack showing up some truly embarrassing wiggles. Rose laughed, and suddenly remembered the last time she’d heard this song.

“Did I ever tell you about my first trip with the Doctor?” She asked, slowing down and slipping her hands around Jack again. She tucked her head under his, against the dark blue coat, and felt his voice vibrate through his chest.

“Nope, I don’t think so.”

“Well, he offers me all of time and space, and you know me, I challenge him to go as far as possible. So, trying to impress me, he takes me to the end of the world.”

“The end of the-”

“Earth,” she said, softly, remembering what it felt like to see the planet burn beneath them.

“For your first date, he took you to see your planet burn?” Jack asked, incredulous.

Rose smiled, nodding. “He wanted me to understand, I think,” she explained. “What it felt like, to be the last one.”

Jack swayed her gently, and she kept going. “We were there with the rich and powerful, and one of them, Cassandra, claimed to be the last pure human. She brought a bunch of stuff that was pure garbage to prove it. A bunch of elitist stories and an ostrich egg, apparently. And,” she giggled, “what she called an I-Pod, but was actually a jukebox.”

“Well, a couple million years pass, I can imagine how someone might get a bit confused,” Jack joked.

“One of the songs that she had was Tainted Love,” Rose continued. “Said it was an Earth classic.”

“See!” Jack exclaimed, happily. “I wasn’t wrong.”

“Never said you were,” she teased back, looking back up at him. “Anyway- she tried to kill us all, but the Doctor stopped her, as he does.”

“Sounds like the Death of the Earth was attended by a fairly undeserving crowd,” Jack noted.

Rose shook her head. “No, no, it wasn’t all bad. There was Jabe, who was a tree, and the poor people who worked there- they deserved better. And the Face of Boe of course, who we met again, when it was me and the new new Doctor-”

Jack had tensed up, looking surprised.

“Face of Boe?” Jack asked, slowly.

Rose nodded. “Yup, the Face of Boe. He was just a big face, the Doctor said he was the last of his kind, no one had seen another for a long time. He was kind though, he always sort of looked a bit sad. Makes sense, with him being the last. It was funny though,” she recalled, looking past Jack’s face, remembering the details of the enigmatic being. “I saw him twice, once with our Doctor, and once with, you know, new new Doctor. Both of our first dates, actually, almost like he was looking after us. He told the Doctor he’d see him one more time before he died for good.”

She focused back on Jack, who had tears in his eyes again. “Jack?” she asked, unsure.

He shook his head, and took her face in his hands. “Thank you, Rosie,” he told her, voice thick.

“For what?” she asked, confused again.

He kissed both of her cheeks, and smiled through his tears. “You always manage to give me the most important gifts,” he said, softly. “Knowing the ending always makes the middle a little easier to handle.”

Ending? She opened her mouth, confused, but he put a finger to her mouth. “Not yet,” he told her, motioning to her jacket.

Rose nodded, and tucked her head back against his coat. It was thick wool, reminding her even more of what he had been wearing that night in the Blitz. “Jack, if….,” she trailed off, unsure how to say it. “If this is it for us, if I never see you again, I want you to know how much you meant to me.” She refused to look up into his eyes, knowing seeing his blue eyes would make her tear up. “The Doctor might have came into my life and changed it, but you did, too. You showed me that even when the world’s ending, there’s always time for one last dance.”

“Well, the world’s always ending,” Jack said, softly.

Rose chuckled, and finally gave in and looked back at him. He was openly crying now, tear tracks falling down his face. “Yeah, it is,” she agreed, feeling her own tears well up.

Before they could say anything else, the dimension cannon beeped. Rose pulled back from Jack, reluctantly, and pulled up the device.

“Time to go?” Jack asked, sounding a bit choked up.

Rose nodded, sadly. “But not here, I need room to run. Walk me?” Rose asked, holding her arm out. Jack quickly took it.

Jack locked up his room, and they slowly walked back the way they’d come. The market was still alive, full of children rushing around and parents laughing and talking well into the night. Rose smiled, seeing how life continued. As they passed back towards the way Rose had come, some of the people called out to Jack, and he waved back, but didn’t stop.

As they came to the outskirts of the settlement, Jack cleared his throat. “I’ll miss you, Rosie,” he said, seriously. Rose stopped, looking up at him, fully intending to ask him what was going to happen, but there was something on his face that made her stop. He looked older than he had at any point tonight, older and serious in a way that reminded her of the Doctor when he was making a hard decision.

She swallowed, wanting to rip open Jack’s letter and find out what had happened to him. What was going to happen to her. But she had promised, she thought.

Rose reached out and grabbed both of his hands. “Think about it this way,” she said softly. “With that,” she tapped his vortex manipulator, “you can move through time, so in a way, I’ll always be alive some way. Or at least, some version of me.”

Jack’s face twisted into a smile. “When I got stuck in the 20th century, I did pop into the Powell Estate a few times, saw you toddling around with Mickey.” Rose laughed, imagining Jack, in this giant coat, trying to be inconspicuous on her old estate.

“You’ve got 19 whole years when you’ll know exactly where I’ll be. And even if I’m not physically here, I’ll always be in here,” she finished, reaching up with both of their hands and touching his heart.

“And you’ll stay there until the end of time,” Jack whispered. They looked into each other’s eyes for a moment, before Rose fell into his arms again, relishing the hug one last time.

“Good luck,” Jack told her, softly, his hand smoothing down her hair. “It’s not going to be easy, Rose.”

“When have you ever known me to do easy?” she asked, smiling broadly as she pulled back. She grabbed the cannon, and set it to grab the Doctor’s nearest timeline. It looked strong, she thought, excited.

“See ya, Jack,” she said, one last time. Before she could turn and run into the light, Jack grabbed her one last time, and kissed her, as he had once both so long ago and so far into the future.

She savored his kiss, before pulling back. He looked at her, still too sad, she thought, but trying to smile through it. “See ya, Rosie,” he told her, choked up again.

She looked at him one more time, and turned and ran into her future.

Chapter Text

The bitter cold of the Norwegian beach at Bad Wolf Bay was not something Rose would have ever thought she’d experience again. After the TARDIS had left, the wind had picked up, and Rose could feel her hair swaying in the wind. She was hovering almost in the same place she’d been when he had left, still feeling a bit numb at finally being left behind.

“Yeah, Pete, I don’t know why he left us here either, but- No, no, it’s not like that-yes, she’s still here, but not Mickey, and, well, a version of the Doctor, it’s a bit hard to under-oh yes please, that would be so much quicker. Yes, we’ll be fine. Just send it quickly!”

Rose turned around, finally, seeing her mother shut her phone, looking smug. “Pete’s sending a zeppelin from Stockholm,” Jackie announced, looking not at her, but the Doctor, who had his hands in his pockets. “Said it should take an hour or two at most.”

“Haven’t traveled by zeppelin for awhile,” the Doctor commented, beginning to bounce slightly. “At this point, I’d take a tugboat if we could warm up a bit.”

“Could you do something with that little baby TARDIS?” Jackie asked.

Rose let them talk, still feeling a bit out of it.

The Doctor pulled it out of his pocket, small and orange. “Not quite,” he noted. “But if I had my sonic-” his face fell, suddenly. “Sorry, no, don’t have one of those either.”

Jackie reached out and patted his shoulder. “There, there, love, no worries. I’m sure you can build another.” She turned and looked down the beach. “I remember there being a little cottage down the beach. I’m going to call and check on Tony, and go down to see if they have any jackets we can borrow.”

“Mum, we can-” Rose started, but when both of them turned back to her, eyes wide, she stopped. “What?” she asked, confused.

“Thought you were still…” Jackie trailed off, looking back at the Doctor. “Doesn’t matter. I’ll be right back, I’m sure you have plenty to talk about!” She had her phone up and had walked away before Rose could even think to say anything.

Rose nervously looked up at not-quite the Doctor as she rubbed her arms, trying to warm up. He met her gaze, looking unsure. “Sorry, didn’t think to steal the coat from him.” he said, looking like he was shivering himself.

“Don’t worry about it, you’re wearing even less than I am,” Rose realized, looking at him in his thin suit. “I’d give you my coat, but-”

“Too small,” the Doctor noted. “Though I know big-eared me would appreciate the leather,” he added.

Rose laughed, suddenly, letting all the tension leave her body. “Oh this is stupid,” she said, shaking her head. She stepped closer to him, and tucked herself under his shoulder. “There,” she said, feeling warmer already.

He smiled down at her, but still seemed a bit lost for words. Rose realized she’d have to bridge this divide.

“It was nice to meet everyone else,” she noted, thinking back to all of those faces on the screen. “I actually saw everyone on Harriet Jones’ subspace network-”

“You did?” the Doctor asked, eyes wide. “But I didn’t see you!”

“Donna’s mum wouldn’t let her granddad have a video camera, because they’re naughty,” she informed him, giggling.

He laughed as well. “Sounds like Sylvia,” he recalled. “She never did seem very open to everything. At first, I thought she’d be like Jackie, grow into it. But now-”

His face fell. Even worse then when he’d tried to reach for a sonic.

“What is it?” Rose asked, looking up at him.

“Donna can’t keep the metacrisis,” he said, softly. “It’s too much for a human mind.”

“What?” Rose exclaimed, thinking back to Donna’s excitement, how different she’d been from the woman she’d met in that world that had been so, so, wrong. “What’s going to happen to her?”

“He’s going to erase her memories of him. All of them. Only way to keep her safe from what’s in her brain,” the Doctor admitted.

Rose felt her heart crush for Donna. At least she’d never lost her memories, she thought. She remembered how Jack had reacted to the Time Agency stealing two years from him. This felt particularly cruel, for Donna to lose the person she’d become after seeing the stars.

But then something else hit her. “So he’s going to be alone again,” she whispered. They’d dropped off Jack and Mickey, and Martha and Sarah Jane. “Why didn’t he keep us there? Why would he-”

“This is our one chance, Rose Tyler,” he said softly. “Our forever. I don’t think he could have survived, seeing us have that, something else he’ll never get.”

Rose reached up and touched his cheek. She was almost surprised by her boldness. “Then we better make the best of it,” she whispered, looking up at him.

He smiled back, and they lapsed into silence.

“He-well, you, always promised to never leave me,” Rose said, softly. “And I guess this way, you never have to,” she said, looking out to the water, wind tossing the waves around.

They stood in silence, shivering together, and Rose let her mind wander. The last time she’d thought about being abandoned by the Doctor had been when she saw Jack in the future and he-

“The letter!” Rose exclaimed. She hurriedly pulled her arms back and unzipped her jacket.

“Letter?” the Doctor asked, confused.

Rose didn’t answer, but pulled out the letter Jack had carefully folded for her, what felt like months ago.

“It’s from Jack,” she told the Doctor, as she tried to unfold the letter. The wind was making it flap around. The Doctor moved to block the wind, and she gratefully smiled at him, before continuing. “When I was jumping, trying to find him-you, I met a future Jack. He had wanted to tell me more than I knew when he’d seen me, so he wrote me a letter I could read later.” She shuddered, trying to keep all of her tenses straight. Timetravel was murder for grammar.

She felt him look over her shoulder at Jack’s words, but she found she didn’t care.

Jack’s script was fancy, like he’d learned to write in English during the 19th century, but with a bit of squinting, Rose read it easily.

Rosie,

My Rose, How far we’ve come, from the moment we danced in the Blitz! You’re looking at me right now, somewhat disbelieving, but you’re here. Still so young, even through I know it’s been years for you.

This is the hard part- Rose, when you came back for us, you and the TARDIS, back to Satellite 5, all those years ago, I was dead. The Daleks had gotten to me before you’d even returned. I don’t know the entire story- the Doctor clearly didn’t feel like sharing more-but one moment I had been shot, and the next thing I knew I was gasping for breath, alive again. And I’ve done that thousands of times since.

The Doctor told me you, using the power you’d absorbed from the Heart of the TARDIS, brought me back to life. But you couldn’t control it, and you brought me back to life forever. I’m a fixed point now, Rosie, and you know how the Doctor feels about fixed points in time- he ran.

He left me, and it’s taken a long time for me to come to terms with that, but I waited for him to come back, waited for him to fix me.

But there was nothing he could do. I’d had over a hundred years at that point, trying to come to terms with how wrong I was. And there was nothing to do to change it. I’ve outlived countless friends, lovers, family, my own grandson. Ianto.

You’re remembering the words I said to you this night, how I don’t blame you- because I don’t Rose. I never have. You made it impossible for me to die, but you did it because you couldn’t let me go. Because you loved me.

Even in my darkest days, I try to remember that. Every time I gasp back to life, it’s because of the love you gave me. I have failed so many times to honor that gift, but how I want you to know I’ve never taken it for granted.

I’ve been able to accept it now, instead of being bitterly angry, like I was before. I’m better now, I promise. I want you to remember that.

I don’t know if I’ll ever see you again, after this night. You’re going back to your world, and I am doomed to live an eternity in this one, running into the Doctor every once in a while. (Also the joke I made- the Doctor’s a short blonde woman when I saw her last. She even has bright brown eyes. I didn’t say anything, but I imagine she remembers for a second every time she glances into a mirror.)

I’ll miss you, even if I never see you again. I’ll keep you in my mind, though, for as long as this big old brain can manage. I have no idea how long it will take until the end, but I’ll keep you- and the Doctor, and all the other friends you haven’t even met yet!-with me as long as I can.

You’re going to live a good life with your Doctor, and I don’t want you to regret the curs-no, gift, you gave me. I will try to live up to it. I’ll remember it forever, Rosie, every time I take that first breath, no matter how long it’s been since I saw your face.

Love, always always always,

Jack.

Rose gasped, remembering Jack lying on the ground in the Crucible. She’d thought he’d simply played dead, but no- he had been dead.

And then he woke up.

“I...I did that?” she whispered, she turned back to look at the Doctor, who looked more worried than she’d expected. “When I was the Bad Wolf?”

He nodded. “Yes, you did.”

“And you-” suddenly she realized why he looked so worried. “And you left him there!” She exclaimed, feeling heat rush to her face. “You told me he was fine- you told me he wanted you to leave him there! But he didn’t. He told me he went back to Cardiff looking for you, for us-”

“He did. He waited over a hundred years to see me, and then he only got to because he jumped on the TARDIS before I got the chance to dematerialize,” he explained, putting one hand behind his shoulder, looking sheepish.

Rose hit his arm, scowling. “Why, because he was a paradox now, and you didn’t want to look at him?” she demanded, feeling anger for Jack.

The Doctor seemed surprised, but he nodded, rubbing his arm where she’d hit him. “Yes, yes- he’s not just a paradox, but a fixed point in time. He’s a fact, Rose, and he shouldn’t be. But you didn’t want to let him go.”

Rose felt all the fight in her deflate. She’d done this, she was the reason Jack had to outlive everyone he’d ever love. She thought, suddenly, of Ianto Jones’ little face on the subspace network. He was going to die soon, and Jack would be in pain again. It was all her fault.

She felt her eyes well up, and was surprised when she felt the Doctor pull her into his arms. She buried her face into his suit.

“This is why I didn’t want to tell you,” he said softly, barely audible above the wind. “I didn’t want you to feel guilty for something you couldn’t control.”

“But I did it!” Rose exclaimed. “Me! Jack’s going to live forever, and when I saw him again, he just danced with me, let me tell him stupid stories about the Face of Boe, drank with him- he should hate me!” she insisted.

The Doctor gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head up. “He would never. You read the letter, same as me. He’s come to terms with it, Rose. He’s trying to make the best of it now. He knows how much you love him.”

“And now I’ll never see him again,” she said, softly. Not him, not Mickey. Not Martha, who’d she’d barely gotten to meet, or Donna, who would never know any of them again.

“You never know, with him,” the Doctor noted, smiling at her. “If anyone could make his way here, it’d be Jack.”

Rose nodded, looking down to the letter crushed to her chest. She’d need time to process all of this, she thought. But there was something…

“I didn’t know you could regenerate into a woman,” she commented, casually.

The Doctor blanched. “Well, technically, I can’t regenerate into anyone.” Rose shrugged him off.

“But yes, it was always an opportunity. I’ve never done it before, at least I don’t think. There were a couple of times that were a bit hazy,” he admitted.

He looked down at her suddenly. “How would you have reacted?” he asked, trying too hard to seem casual. “If instead of this,” he motioned to himself, but mostly seemed to be pointing to his hair, “I’d changed from old big ears to a woman?”

Rose opened her mouth, and then shut it when she couldn’t think how to respond. How would she have reacted? She’d been surprised at any regeneration, honestly, and the Doctor being a woman wouldn’t have been any more shocking than how he’d just changed his entire face. And then she remembered Jack’s words.

“I’d have adjusted,” she said, firmly. “Same man, always-well,”she allowed. “Same woman.”

The Doctor smiled down at her. “Even now? With my one heart?”

Rose grabbed his hand again, and squeezed. “Especially with your one heart,” she insisted.

They smiled at each other for a moment, before the Doctor spoke again. “Why did you tell Jack about the Face of Boe?” he asked, tongue sticking out slightly.

“Oh, he had Tainted Love on his vortex manipulator, and I had to explain how we’d heard it on Platform One,” Rose explained. “He said that it seemed like all the guests there were pretty awful, and I told him about the Face of Boe, how friendly he’d seemed, and how we saw him again.”

The Doctor looked very hard as if he was trying to repress a smile. “Last time I saw him, before all of this with the Daleks, he was asking about how I thought he’d age, you know, because he keeps not dying. And I told him I didn’t know, and then he said he knew it was vain, but he’d always been that way, all the way since he’d been called the Face of Boe, when he’d been young back on the Boeshane Peninsula.”

“Wait,” Rose gasped. “Does that mean..”

“How did he react? When you told him?”

“He kept thanking me,” Rose said, feeling a bit light headed. “Said it was easier to survive the middle knowing there’d be an ending.”

She smiled suddenly, looking up at the Doctor. “So, some way, he’ll see me again- see us again, even if we don’t see him.”

“Sure sounds like it,” the Doctor exclaimed. “At least he didn’t hit on us as that big old face,” he added, a little darkly.

Rose rolled her eyes. “I’ll have you know I spent a whole hour in the future with him, and he didn’t hit on me once!” She decided to leave the kiss out of it.

“I should hope not!” The Doctor exclaimed. “That’s my job now.”

Rose beamed at him, with reckless abandon. It was.

“It seems like you two are finally getting along,” a new voice cut in. Rose turned, and saw her mother, all wrapped up in a blanket, carrying a few more. “The nice old lady understood me and everything! She said we could bring them back before we leave.”

“TARDIS translation circuit,” The Doctor muttered to her, as they spread one blanket out on the sand, and wrapped themselves up in two more.

“Even in the baby TARDIS?” Rose asked, surprised.

“Even in the baby TARDIS,” he repeated, smiling. Rose leaned against him, watching the waves crash. She’d last stood on this beach three years ago, on the worst day of her life. The air had been just as cold, the wind just as strong. Somehow, with the Doctor beside her, holding her hand, even the waves seemed a little less daunting.