Chapter Text
With a yelp Flynn pulls back her hand and examines the redness on the tip of her left index finger. Damn, she just stabbed herself with the needle. Again.
Julie, the traitor, who’s sitting next to her on the floor, lets out a breathy chuckle.
“It’s not funny”, Flynn grumbles and picks up her shoe again. Eleven years of ballet and four years of sewing pointe shoes and she’s still hopeless.
“It’s a little funny”, Julie says, but she reaches out to gently check on Flynn’s tortured hands. “No blood”, she determines and blows on the fingertip in question, like her mom always did every single time she got hurt.
“Thanks”, Flynn laughs and reluctantly goes back to attacking her ribbon.
She loves spending her time like this, to be completely honest. Sitting in an empty studio with Julie, preparing their shoes for the upcoming classes, rehearsals or performances. It’s peaceful, if she ignores her little mishaps with the sewing kit, and always a refuge from the chaotic life at their ballet school.
Next to her, Julie is already at attaching her elastics, stitching with a practiced ease that Flynn wishes she possessed.
Things have been especially stressful recently with talks about the upcoming auditions for their end of the year performances. No one even knows what ballets Mr Covington, the director had picked out yet, let alone when the auditions will be but everyone is acutely aware that the announcement will be made soon and it’s no secret that teachers build their opinions on castings in class already, and the rest is just to practice for the future.
It’s been setting Flynn on edge. She knows Mrs. Harrison, their ballet teacher likes her, even gives her genuinely motivating notes in class sometimes, but still. She wants to go for a principal role this time. Dancing the Spanish part in the Nutcracker and the featured role in Dante’s modern choreography had been nice and all but now she wants more.
Without having to be asked, she hands Julie the scissors and watches her finishing up the stitching on her elastic and cutting off a new thread.
Sometimes Flynn still worries about her friend. Scratch that, she worries all the damn time -it’s her job as a best friend- but sometimes the heavy weight of everything that happened hits her again, even though it has been well over a year now.
Julie pulls a face when she realizes she’s being watched.
“What??!”
“Nothing.” Flynn scrunches her nose in response. “Just thinking about auditions and stuff.”
Julie shakes her head.
“You and everyone else in this school, I swear. Nick wouldn’t shut up about it as well.”
Flynn wiggles her eyebrows. “Aw, that’s cute, you two still pas de deux partners?”
“Obviously.” Julie rolls her eyes, but she’s smiling. “I told you, there’s nothing going on. I mean, Nick’s a sweetheart but we’re better off as friends”
“If you say so”, Flynn says while winking excessively, mostly just to get a laugh.
Julie throws her finished up pointe shoe at her and now they’re both dissolving into giggles.
Flynn has missed this. Them, laughing and joking around, Julie being back with her in the studio. It’s nice, even though it sometimes feels like a walk on a tightrope, a bit unsteady and like every second they could tip over and fall down.
Luckily, Julie and Flynn are both highly trained ballet dancers. They want to make a career out of a balance act. They can handle this.
-
Carrie loses her balance and stumbles clumsily out of her turn.
She resists the urge to pick up her water bottle and chuck it at the mirror in frustration. Instead, she repositions herself and tries again, rising up onto pointe and whipping her head one, two, three times.
This time she lands, stable, with her front leg bent to the max and her arms steady but the pirouette still felt wonky.
Carrie sighs. She can’t allow herself inconsistencies like this. Not right now. Not ever. She needs that solid triple pirouette. She shakes out her legs. Another try.
Apparently third time’s a charm because this time the turn goes smoothly and Carrie allows herself a private, proud smile.
She’ll never get over this feeling.
When she looks up, Kayla and Nick are standing at the studio window on the hallway side, cheering and waving at her to finish up. A glance to the clock confirms that Carrie’s reserved slot in the studio is almost over anyways and she gives them a thumbs up before walking over to her bag and plopping down to pull off her shoes.
That hallway window in studio 1 is the bane of her existence. She appreciates the big space all to herself but at her ballet school it comes with the price of being watched by every single person who passes by.
Carrie loves having an audience, yes, but not in her private practice time where she usually inevitably falls on her face while trying new things. She much prefers studio 2 with the glass ceiling or studio 3, which only has windows facing the office building on the opposite side of the street.
The door opens and Kayla bounces in, wincing when she sees the blood seeping into Carrie’s tights from a particularly nasty blister.
“You shouldn’t torture yourself so much”
Carrie shakes her head, not only because she feels like she needs to work this hard, if not harder but also because it doesn’t feel like torture to her. She loves the work, including the aching muscles and the bleeding feet. Sure it gets tough but at the end of the day, she needs ballet like she needs to breathe.
Kayla extends her hands and Carrie lets herself be pulled to her feet.
“Thanks”, she mutters, while stretching out her calves. “Why are you guys so impatient today? We still have plenty of time for lunch”
“Mr Covington is gonna make the announcement today!” Nick says, making his way into the studio as well. Suddenly Carrie understands the excitement in his voice; she doesn’t even have to ask what announcement they’re talking about.
With a jittery smile she squeezes Kayla’s hand and hurries to put on her warm ups. They don’t want to miss this.
Nick rummages around at the piano while Kayla hops from one foot to the other with pent up energy. “I can’t wait, I can’t wait!”
Carrie laughs and picks up her bag. “Me neither. Come on, let’s go!”
Before they hurry out the door, Nick quickly pencils his name into the list of reservations at the studio door and then they’re off for the foyer, where the entire Pre-Professional Division seems to be lounging around already.
Everyone is intently watching the door to the director’s office, even the people who are talking amongst each other.
Carrie catches the eyes of Alex, her partner in Pas de deux classes, fiddling with the sleeves of a pink hoodie that she recognizes. He’s standing among a group of boys from their class, looking a little bit lost, but he sends her a grin and a nod, which Carrie reciprocates.
The energy in the room is full of anticipation and it’s infectious. Carrie tries to keep a straight face while her stomach fills with butterflies. She has a reputation to keep.
Next to her Kayla lets out a yelp muffled by her hands and Nick holds onto her elbow almost painfully when the office door finally flies open and Mr Covington steps out, his long wool coat swishing behind him like a cloak.
Caleb Covington moves with a grace and poise that shows his years and years of meticulous training and experience as a dancer. Even when he takes on a seemingly relaxed stance, it looks like he is still on stage performing. He pulls all focus to himself wherever he goes and he lives for the drama. He is a legend and he knows it.
It’s visible in these moments more than ever, when his eyes wander over the sea of students who are all intently focused on him, a small smile on his lips.
Carrie strives to be this glamorous one day.
The foyer is dead silent when Mr Covington pins a piece of paper to the announcement board and then turns back to tell them what they are all waiting for.
“Dear students”, he says, and his tone shows that he knows exactly how much weight what he says holds in this building.
“I’m sure you’ve all been waiting for this moment. As you can see here, auditions for the end of the year performances will be taking place in two weeks. Everyone interested in performing a soloist or principal role is required to present themselves. As in what you all are going to be auditioning for…”
Carrie hears Nick let out a quiet but annoyed groan at the dramatic pause.
“This year we will be performing our own rendition of Romeo and Juliet, as well as the Forsythe Ballet Playlist -EP.”
Several people in the room inhale excitedly at that and Mr. Covington raises an eyebrow.
“Good luck to everyone.” And with a flurry of his hand and a dramatic turn he heads back into his office.
As soon as the door falls shut, a moderate chaos breaks out with some people even cheering at the news and everyone turning to their friends to discuss what they just heard.
Carrie has to let the information sink in.
Obviously she is going to aim for Juliet. It’s a dream role. A classic as well.
Her eyes wander through the room observing her fellow dancers.
There is absolutely no doubt in her mind that either the first cast or the second cast of the main character is going to go to her classmate Flynn. Not that she’s ever going to admit it, but she has been watching the girl in their shared and she is good, so good that Carrie can’t even bring herself to be angry about it.
That leaves one more girl to be cast for Juliet. She watches Flynn intently as the girl excitedly hugs her best friend, the infamous Julie Molina who’d just returned to the school recently after taking a long break.
A few months ago, Carrie would’ve been confident that she had this in her pocket. But with Julie back in the game… She isn’t so sure about that anymore.
Yes, Julie is probably bound to be a bit rusty after not being in classes for such a long time but Carrie knows how Julie shines when she performs. She’s passionate and full of emotion and Carrie just has to think back to when she watched Julie danced Firebird to know that she has some serious competition to be cast as the main role.
Before Carrie can freak out or even begin to think about the Forsythe piece, Nick shakes her out of her trance.
“Hey, Wilson! Don’t zone out on us!”
Carrie blinks several times and looks at her friends to find them both staring at her expectantly. Kayla laughs at the face she must be making.
“Come on, let’s get you some Starbucks”, she says and Carrie let’s herself be pulled out of the building, her head already buzzing with thoughts about practice and the possibility of getting to share a role with Flynn.
-
Alex swirls around the ice in his cheap coffee drink and tries to concentrate on the clacking of the cubes against each other and the voices of his best friends instead of the buzzing in the building they’re re-entering after their prolonged lunch break.
The announcement still seems to hang in the air when they push open the door to the hallway and it’s making him nervous, for some reason even more than usual.
It feels like something big is going to happen this year round and Alex isn’t sure he likes that.
“So anyways Anne says she has the money to come visit often, since she’s living with Dad so she doesn’t have to pay rent”, Reggie finishes up his story about his sister with a grin.
Alex still pats his shoulder sympathetically. He can see the melancholy in his friend’s smile when he talks about Anne or his dad. Reggie’s mom is great, even more so now that the divorce is finalized and she isn’t torn apart by a failing marriage anymore but Alex knows how much family means to him and how badly he’s been missing his dad and now his sister as well, who’s moved across the country after graduation to start her first job with a ballet company.
“That’s great”, Luke says next to him with a sympathetic smile.
“Right?!” Reggie exclaims, ever the optimist. Sometimes Alex envies that trait.
While they’re crossing the foyer, his eyes stray to the piece of paper announcing the audition that’s coming up. Of course, his friends notice in an instant and slow down with him.
They both eye him carefully and it makes his skin itch.
“Alex”, Luke says carefully, like he’s afraid he’ll spook him. “Are you- do you think you’ll come to the audition this year?”
Alex presses his lips together tightly. He would be lying if he said that he didn’t think about it. Every day he since he managed to land a scholarship at this school and started training here, he dreams of stepping out on stage by himself, without hiding or holding back.
He shakes his head. “I can’t.”
Reggie reciprocates his earlier gesture and squeezes Alex’ shoulder. “You know we support you no matter what. Just- you should own your awesomeness sometimes.”
Even if Alex was as awesome as Reggie apparently thinks he is, there is a good reason why he should avoid doing exactly that. A very good reason, he reminds himself. No use in dwelling on it.
He pulls his friends along and away from the temptation of possibility.
“You know I can’t”, he emphasizes. “It’s too risky. If I’d land a role, I’d have to turn it down. Just think of all the attention that comes with that. And if my parents find out-“
Before Alex can finish his sentence with a dramatic allegory about how absolutely toast he would be, Luke stumbles and comes to an abrupt halt next to him.
They’ve stopped at the window to studio one and Alex knows what Luke is currently staring at from the dazed look on his face alone.
Through the glass they can see Julie Molina, in a purple leotard and a black skirt, dancing with Nick Danfort. She’s carrying her arms up from her sides to extend one to the front and one pointing to the back to arabesque and then up over her head, her eye-line following along with the movement.
A content smile is on her face and the lines she creates are just as beautiful as Alex remembers. She’s always been an amazing artist.
Reggie snickers into his hand and Alex has to stop himself from laughing as well when he sees how Luke is completely entranced by Julie.
It’s obvious that Luke has had a crush on her ever since she returned after Nutcracker this year. But while Alex and Julie are good friends and he knows that Reggie even sometimes babysits Julie’s little brother Carlos, the circumstances of everything that has happened the past few years mean that Julie has never even properly met Luke.
Now is not the time for that to happen though, however much Alex and Reggie have been scheming to introduce the two.
“Dude!” Reggie snaps in front of Luke’s face and now Alex can’t hold back his laughter anymore.
“Come on, stop pining”, he says and pulls a spluttering Luke along to the stairwell. “We need to warm up before class”
Together the three of them dash up the stairs to studio six.
When they arrive, a group of guys from Mr Becker’s class is messing around in the centre of the studio, doing one impressive jump after the other and cheering on each other’s tricks. Alex tries to pay them no mind, focusing instead on starting his warm up, ignoring the pit in his stomach and Reggie gently ribbing Luke about his crush on Julie.
“I bet she’d make the perfect Julie –et to your Romeo”, he laughs which makes Alex and Luke groan in unison.
“You should never make a pun ever again, Reg, but I agree”, Alex says.
Luke is considered first in line when it comes to the main role for the guys, that much is clear. He’s a born performer and it was undeniable how much he excelled as the titular character in the nutcracker. Putting Julie opposite him on stage would be a match made in heaven.
“Wh-what, hold on-“, Luke stutters and Alex is astonished to see a blush rising on his friend’s cheeks. This is new. Interesting.
He cracks his left and then his right hip before reaching to the floor and letting his torso sway gently from side to side to loosen up the back of his legs.
“Don’t deny it”, Reggie sings. “We’ve all seen the way you look at her. Now imagine what that would add to your performance.”
“Excuse me, I don’t- my performance is good no matter who I dance with!”
When Alex comes up again, he sees the indignant look on Luke’s face turned towards him.
“How about we come back to how Alex would be perfect for Romeo!”
It’s a bit of a low blow and Alex backs away with his hands raised ready to snark back when suddenly something- someone collides with his back and sends him sprawling out on the floor.”
“Aw, man, I’m so sorry”, the person says before Alex has even had the chance to recover from the shock. He rubs his face with his hand and pushes himself off of the floor into a sitting position to look at the guy who just all but jumped him and-
Promptly chokes on thin air. Kneeling in front of him with a worried expression is the prettiest boy he’s ever seen, his hair in a messed up knot that’s falling apart to the side of his neck, wearing loose shorts and a white uniform leotard. For a second Alex just stares and tries to figure out what to say.
“What the hell man! Where’s your special awareness?!” is what ends up coming out of his mouth. Definitely not ideal. However, the guy just chuckles and offers up his hand to pull Alex up.
“I know, I know”, he says when they’re both on their feet again, while untangling his hair tie and shaking out his hair. ”Doing Butterfly jumps when you’re already exhausted is bad” He gives Alex a smile that makes him dizzy. “I’m Willie”
“I know”, Alex says and silently curses himself. He’s completely embarrassing himself, but it’s true. Everyone in the school was talking about William, the new guy, when Caleb recruited him personally in the middle of the year at a competition the director was a judge at and Alex could have fallen for the guy from watching his solos on YouTube alone.
“I- I’m Alex” he adds quickly.
“I know”, Willie says and Alex barely has the time to process this when Willie proceeds to say: “You’re really good; you danced with Carrie Wilson at the Pas de deux comp in New York, right?”
“Yes- I- really?” Alex forces out. By now the class around them is preparing for the lesson to start and Willie’s buddies are waiting at the doorway for him to finish up- whatever this is.
“Yes!" Willie throws a glace at the guys and then turns back with a regretful expression. "I gotta go...See you at auditions?” And he looks so hopeful that Alex doesn’t even think before he opens his mouth.
“Yeah, sure!”
At that, Willie winks at him and rushes out the door. Alex looks after him, completely stumped, until Reggie steps up behind him.
“Dude, did you just tell him that you’ll do auditions?”
Oh, crap. He did.