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It’s quiet. The silence is annoying and oppressive where it usually provides comfort and calm, and something thrums through Craig’s veins, trying to leap out of his skin as he lays still in his bed.
It’s not even late, barely 11 according to his last glance at the alarm clock, but time feels stagnant and wrong. Maybe it’s 18 years of sleeping in the same room coming back to haunt him all at once. Maybe it’s this town finally rejecting him the closer he gets to leaving.
Craig should be excited, thrilled that in 12 hours and 47 minutes he’ll be a high school graduate, poised and ready to leave this shitty little town. He has no illusions about the nights he’ll spend rushing term papers, eating cup ramen on a deflated air mattress in some shoebox studio, but it will be on his terms, and that’s really all he’s ever wanted.
But the minutes drag, and the illuminated numbers shining through the dark make him feel trapped even though he’s on the precipice of being free.
44. Familiar and safe. Nice and boring, even if South Park is anything but. But maybe it’s his nice and boring.
“Fuck,” Craig mutters through a sigh, the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to his ceiling loosing their luminescence as the minutes drag on. 39.
The sharp tink of something striking Craig’s window makes him jump. Sitting up in his bed, Craig stares at the pane of glass as the uncomfortable silence swells in his room, leaving only the sound of his heart beating in his chest. Before he can even form a coherent thought, a staccato burst of what is probably gravel from his mom’s garden rains down on his window like hail. Dragging himself out from under his covers, Craig shifts on his bed to open the window, narrowly missing getting brained by a rock that flies through and takes out a little Lego figure on his shelf.
“What the fuck,” Craig hisses out into the darkness, and when he catches sight of several figures standing in front of Token’s car down on the street, Clyde at least has the decency to look sheepish and drop the rock in his hand.
“Oh good, you’re up!” Clyde calls out before getting elbowed in the side by Stan with a quiet Dude. “C’mon, Craig!”
Craig feels his eyes narrow in frustration at the idiots making way too much noise to go unnoticed at this hour. “It’s almost midnight,” squinting, he makes out two people other than Clyde and Stan, “some people want to sleep.”
The raspberry Clyde blows could probably permeate the vacuum of space, “When has that ever stopped us before?”
The shitty thing is that Clyde isn’t wrong, but that doesn’t mean that Craig needs to admit it.
“Come on, Craig, we’re wasting gas,” Stan tries this time.
“This is a Tesla,” Token rounds the car with an amused smile, “no, we’re not.”
“Dude, don’t give him a reason to bail.”
“Craig!” Clyde practically shouts over the others, oblivious to the lights that flip on in the house across the street. “We’re graduating! This is our last night as high school students, so change outta your jammies and let’s do something stupid.”
“Jammies?” Kenny’s voice calls up from the darkness, his familiar frame sliding up next to Stan with an easy smile curving his lips. “Tucker, we all know it’s no-pants-o’clock, but do us a favor and grace us with some jeans before you come down,” Kenny pauses before Craig can speak, eyebrows waggling in the darkness, “Unless...? I mean, I’m down for some streaking tonight.”
Craig’s cheeks burn against his will, and he’s more than thankful for the darkness of his room. He wishes the off-handed jokes and toothy grins didn’t affect him so much and that he could just be normal for five seconds around Kenny without his stomach trying to escape up his throat.
They were friends, for fuck’s sake. They were all friends, but something about Kenny made his guts squirm in a way that makes him feel all too vulnerable. Even after their stupid cliquey rivalry was nonexistent and years of sort-of-friendship became cramming into Token’s car and driving to Denver for the hell of it, or shotgunning beer and smoking shitty weed in someone’s basement, it still nags at Craig because he wants more.
“What’s it gonna be, Craig?” Token’s voice breaks through the boys bickering in the street and Craig’s mounting existential dread.
“Yeah, Tucker,” Kenny’s smirk is evident in his voice, even if Craig can barely make out the little gap in his teeth peeking between his lips, “are you feelin’ stupid?”
Really, Craig should say no. He should stay in his room, where he won’t end up arrested or in another country or in some other situation that would undoubtedly ruin his last hours of high school and potentially his summer break. Peer pressure be damned.
But Kenny’s still grinning at him, effortlessly gorgeous even as a gust of wind whips his shaggy hair into his face, and a pang of regret stabs Craig in the gut that he never did anything about his ridiculous crush.
Stupid is an understatement.
“Give me five minutes.”
It only takes four to change into jeans and a shirt, throw on his well-loved pair of Chuck Taylors, and slip out the front door. Two minutes later, Craig is wedged between Stan and the door in Token’s backseat and tries not to focus too much on the door handle digging into his side.
Clyde insists he’s planned their last night as the tortured podunk youth to a T, but the fact that they’ve weaved up and down the lattice of streets for almost fifteen minutes with no discernible destination has Craig doubting that his friend isn’t just throwing out directions at random.
“This is the fourth right in a row that we’ve taken, dude,” Stan grumbles at Craig’s side, glancing down when his phone lights up in his hand.
Clyde twists in his seat to shoot Stan a look that’s probably supposed to be mildly threatening. “So?”
“So we’ve just gone in a circle and should probably figure out where we’re going,” Token sounds more amused than anything, but Clyde clearly isn’t with the way his jaw drops in offense.
“You too, Toke? Seriously?” Turning his attention to the backseat again, Clyde meets Craig’s eyes, “Don’t tell me, next you’re going to have beef with my methods.” Before Craig has a chance to open his mouth, Clyde holds up his hand. “Y’know what? Nevermind. Sue a guy for trying to plan something fun.”
“...I didn’t even say anything.”
Clyde waves off Craig’s words as he settles back into his seat, “I could feel your judgment in the earth, Tucker. I could smell it in the air.”
“I think you’re just smelling your ass, Clyde.”
“Dude!”
“I still don’t know where I’m going,” Token raises his voice just enough to be heard, “and I swear to God, Clyde, if you keep trying to crawl into the backseat I’m going to make you walk home.”
“What if,” Kenny starts, sliding into Craig’s periphery just past Stan and draping an arm over the back of Clyde’s seat, “we just keep it simple and hit up Stark’s?”
Kenny’s hair glows a dull gold under each light they pass, his profile flickering like an old film and Craig can’t look away.
This crush is hopeless. It has been for years. Even when they were just messing around with his camera filming animals (up close with a wide angle lens, thank you very much), before Craig even knew exactly what he was feeling in his chest when Kenny laughed uncontrollably at the notion of adding hats to equation, something deep down told Craig it wasn’t something meant for him. But Kenny was quiet, and so was he, and the minute he saw the boy frustrated and upset that his asshole friends wouldn’t let him play Super School News with them, Craig said ‘ Fuck those guys, we’ll do something way better ’ before he could register what he was saying.
“Dude, Craig,” Stan says, annoyed and knocking Craig forcefully out of his thoughts.
“Yeah, man, what d’you think? Stark’s?” Clyde’s practically leaning into the backseat despite Token’s resigned sigh from the driver’s seat, grin firmly in place and nodding eagerly.
But Craig’s eyes land on Kenny across the backseat, and swallows down the gut impulse to immediately turn away when their eyes meet and Kenny offers the smallest wink.
“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds good.”
---
Maybe it’s the nostalgia of countless summers gathered around the muddy banks of Stark’s Pond or the growing buzz from Clyde’s warm backpack beer, but a pleasant sort of calm settles over Craig. And, at least for the moment, he can almost pretend this isn’t the last time they’ll all be like this. Kyle snapping at Cartman over something awful he probably said while Stan and Butters try to calm him down. Tweek explaining exactly why everyone should take mothman very seriously to a moderately terrified Kevin, while a handful of the girls try to dare each other to jump into the murky water before screaming when one of the boys splashes them all with a graceless cannonball. Sure, they collectively might come home to visit, but things won’t ever be the same. But maybe he can trick himself into not dwelling on that too much and instead enjoy tonight, surrounded by friends he’s known as long as he can remember.
Clyde stumbles over from his spot next to Bebe, where he promptly planted himself as soon as they arrived. A prickle of anxiety courses through Craig at Clyde’s expression. That look meant danger. Run, emotional honesty incoming.
“Hey, dude,” Clyde starts as he plops down next to him, beer swishing in his hand. He’s uncharacteristically silent for a moment and Craig thinks he may escape this situation with nothing more than an awkward, drunk Clyde. That hope is quickly squashed as Clyde turns his glassy eyes toward him. Fuck. “Craig. Bebe and I were talking, and she had this amazing point,” Clyde scoots closer to Craig, shoulders bumping. “Craig. Craig, I’m so glad you came out tonight. I…” Clyde’s voice waivers and Craig can practically hear the tears in his eyes, “I know I’m going to see you after tomorrow, but...Bae said, she made me realize that, that Craig, you aren’t going to-” and thank God that Clyde at least still has the clarity to whisper, “you won’t see him. And that’s so so sad.”
He'll blame whatever blush he knows is rapidly spreading over his face on the beer, "I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."
Clyde’s face gets dangerously close to Craig’s, the smell of alcohol rank on his warm breath as he continues. “Craigory. My dear sweet best friend. I love you, man. Bebe loves you. You’re gonna be my best man and my first baby's godfather. So please understand when I say this, I say it with love,” Clyde narrows his eyes, “you’re a dumbass.”
Craig opens his mouth to retort, realizing immediately that, miracle of miracles, Clyde is right for the second time in as many hours. The air leaves him in a rush, and he needs to look away before the tears welling up in Clyde's eyes get the better of Craig. "It's not that simple. You know that."
“But it is,” Clyde whines, draping himself over Craig’s shoulder dramatically. “We’re about to go on this insane adventure into the world. And I can’t believe that you'd really be willing to leave without telling him.”
“Tell who what?”
A sudden cold wave of panic washes over Craig as Kenny walks up to them, smile perched on his lips. Clyde certainly doesn’t help quell Craig’s urge to run when an astronomical grin splits his face as he looks back and forth between Kenny and Craig at least three times. “Dude. Dude, it’s Kenny.”
“I can see that,” Craig trains his voice to stay as even as possible as he attempts to shrug Clyde off his shoulders.
“Yup, it’s a’ me, Kennio,” Kenny says, bad Italian accent and all, before taking a seat next to Craig. How on earth Kenny can so easily slip into different groups and conversations is beyond Craig, but Kenny is talking, so is Clyde, something about Kenny’s Mario joke. And...Craig can’t seem to tune in as the moonlight hits Kenny’s hair just right, making his heart squeeze.
“You aren’t drinking,” Craig hears himself say without thinking, and Kenny’s attention diverges from Clyde, those blue eyes lock directly and fully focus on Craig. It’s almost too much, him being so close.
“You noticed. Yeah, well, I rather not spend my last night with everyone blackout drunk,” Kenny sounds fond, yet Craig can hear the underlying sadness tainting his words. “How about you, Tucker? I don’t see you doing body shots with the others over there.”
Raising the empty beer can at his side, Craig shakes it, the last few drops rattling against the aluminum. “Just one. There’s only so much warm Pabst I can handle.”
“That’s just because you’re a coward, Tucker,” Clyde leans over Kenny to jab a finger at Craig, missing entirely, and landing across their laps in an attempt to right himself.
Before Craig can even register the weirdness of his best friend's drunken shenanigans, bouncing blonde locks obscure his vision.
“Excuse him,” Bebe chirps as she loops her arms around her boyfriend, pulling Clyde up gracefully. Well, about as graceful as a drunk Clyde can be, which seems on par with a baby giraffe.
“Oh Bebe, my hero,” Clyde whispers into Bebe’s curls, earning himself a warm smile from his girlfriend.
“Come along, sweetheart,” Bebe gives Craig a wink before attempting to steer Clyde away, “the boys have some bonding to do.”
Craig knows if he heard that, Kenny most certainly did. He’s too afraid to turn his head to see the other’s expression, and the dryness of his throat is becoming unbearable. He’s thankful for the last bit of swill at the bottom of his can, turning it upright and pouring the contents into the Sahara that is his mouth.
Kenny’s melodic chuckle floats through the air as Craig drops the empty can from his mouth, drying his lips with the back of his hand. “What’s so funny?” Craig asks despite the ever-present butterflies in his chest mocking him.
“Oh, nothing,” Kenny hums. “Actually, no. Correction, it’s not nothing. It’s everything. This whole day, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow. But more importantly, it’s right now.” Craig realizes he must look beyond confused, since Kenny continues, eyes wide and imploring. “Moments. They’re all moments that make up our lives; big ones, small ones, a road map to one big journey.”
Craig watches Kenny openly, noticing the briefest of looks that crosses Kenny’s face. The way his smile seems almost sad, how he meets Craig’s eyes just a second too long before turning away to look out at their friends. Me too, he wants to say, but the words never make it out of his throat, I know what you mean.
“You’re being so cryptic,” Craig jokes instead, trying to lighten the mood. It brings an honest laugh out of Kenny so he’ll count that as a win.
“What journey do you want to take tonight, Craig?” Kenny asks, catching Craig off guard.
“I...” Craig starts, swallowing hard in an attempt to suppress the nerves over-firing under his skin. This is a normal fucking conversation, pull yourself together. Except it isn’t normal, is it? Their collective normal is at a precipice, poised to tip over the edge in a handful of hours and Kenny’s question pulls the thoughts and fears and hopes that have been rushing through Craig’s mind to the forefront. There are a lot of things he wants. And maybe now, as time is ticking on their high school careers and giving way to whatever the future holds, Craig can let himself actually go for it. Even if it’s just tonight.
“Like you said,” Craig holds Kenny’s gaze, “I’m feeling stupid.”
Craig watches as Kenny’s lips upturn into a bright smile, a flash of teeth peeking between his lips, “Well I know exactly how to accomplish that, if you’re game.” Kenny bounces up, almost a blur as he raises his arms to address the gaggle of teenagers. “WHO WANTS TO GO SWIMMING?” he calls out to the senior class, met almost instantly with a wall of equal parts questions and excitement.
Bebe clears her throat to quiet down the group, pulling out a set of keys before swinging them on her perfectly manicured finger. “I may have the keys to the indoor pool at school.”
“Wh-... Bebe! Where did you get those?!” Craig can hear Wendy yell from somewhere near one of the other cars, but he can barely comprehend what they’re saying because Kenny’s grinning at him in earnest.
“Are you serious?” Craig says as Kenny approaches him again, incredulous even if he feels his lips quirking into a small smile.
“You said let’s get stupid,” Kenny is close, his knees barely an inch away from Craig’s where he stands in front of him, “well, why not get downright moronic? It’s our last night, after all.”
“Not on earth,” Craig tries to deadpan, but a laugh bubbles out of him despite his best efforts. “This sounds like the beginning of a horror movie or an episode of Gossip Girl or some shit.”
Craig tries to ignore the way Kenny’s smirk sends a thrill down his spine. “Spotted: Craig Tucker trying to talk himself down from having fun,” Kenny takes a step back, the spell around them slowly dissolving. “I better see you there, C. Xoxo.”
---
The water is cold enough that Craig almost recoils when he dips his right foot in, but pushes through with the faintest wince and adds the other. So much for a heated pool. He absently kicks his feet through the water, goosebumps creeping up his calves at each inch of skin exposed to the frigid water. Careful to keep the rolled up cuffs of his jeans dry, Craig watches his friends and classmates struggle on how best to approach the chilly water, letting out a chuckle when Clyde appears with a super soaker that Craig can almost guarantee has had pee in it at some point. Clyde easily sprays half the group gathered near him, Kenny getting caught in the crossfire, and Craig definitely doesn’t let himself focus too much on how good Kenny looks wet. Especially not when he’s walking across the pool deck toward Craig. Shit.
“We meet again, Tucker,” Kenny flashes a lopsided smile before plopping himself down at Craig’s side. Shaking his head to flip his dripping hair out of his eyes, Kenny’s smile becomes a full-on grin when Craig makes a sound of disgust as the drops of water splatter across his face.
“Nice to see you, too,” Craig grumbles as he dries his face with his shirt hem. But whatever irritation welling up in him dies when his eyes meet Kenny’s, and fuck this is getting pathetic, isn’t it. “Please tell me that was water.”
Kenny pauses, “You know, I certainly hope so, but I question the contents anytime someone brandishes that particular super soaker. After all, it does have quite the history of containing dubious substances.”
Craig snorts at that, watching Kenny kick off his shoes and dip his feet in the pool, “I think dubious is kind of an understatement. Who knows what the hell was in that dumpster juice.”
Kenny laughs, bright and echoing off the walls mirroring Craig’s heart rattling around in his chest. “Shit, man, that could have been anything. I don’t even wanna begin to unpack that,” he leans back on his hands, taking in a deep breath as if the air is nostalgia itself. They’re both laughing then, as though Kenny existing is enough to yank the sound from Craig’s throat before he can stop himself. It only grows when they watch Heidi successfully wrestle the super soaker from Clyde and blast Cartman directly in the mouth, Kyle losing his actual shit from the bleachers and narrowly avoiding toppling over completely thanks to Tweek.
“It’s weird, right?”
Kenny’s words snap Craig out of watching his friends start what’s likely to turn into an all-out war and back to the boy sitting next to him, “What, the piss?”
“No,” Kenny starts before shaking his head with a chuckle, “well, yeah, okay that’s pretty damn weird, too.” He shifts, and maybe Craig is imagining it but he swears Kenny’s smile falters for a moment. “I mean this. How some things don’t change or whatever, even when...y’know.”
It’s like Craig’s stomach is caught in a vice grip. He feels like he’s watching a private moment, something Kenny never intended for anyone, let alone Craig, to see. “Yeah,” Craig kicks his feet through the water, watching the reflected ripples dance over Kenny’s face, “yeah, I get it.”
Kenny nods to himself, watching his feet swirl the water. The silence stretches in between them, but it’s comfortable and familiar, especially with the backdrop of their laughing classmates. Craig is all too aware when Kenny’s eyes land on him. “You freaked out?”
Yes, Craig’s mind supplies emphatically, the suddenness of his own thought catching him off guard. Craig has wanted to leave this shithole town for years, he should be excited, fuck, he is excited. But... But... “Maybe not ‘freaked out’, but,” Craig glances at Kenny, catching his eye, “it’s...new. And there’s some stuff I’ll probably miss.”
“Oh yeah?” Kenny turns to him fully, kicking a tiny wave of water to lap at Craig’s shins, “Aloof, bad-boy Craig Tucker is gonna miss something?”
Craig lets out a snort, not thinking too much about how gross it sounds because it makes Kenny smile so it can’t be that bad, “Who the hell thinks I’m a bad boy?” The quiet laughter between them warms something in the pit of his chest and he doesn’t look away when Kenny meets his gaze. “I dunno. It’s gonna be weird not seeing everyone. I got...kinda used to hanging out with you.”
Something shifts in Kenny’s eyes, even if his smile doesn’t falter. “Don’t worry, Craig. No one ever misses me for very long.”
“...What?”
Craig swears that Kenny’s lips pull into a grimace for a fraction of a second, but it’s gone as soon as it appeared. “Don’t worry about it.”
Kenny’s words sink like a stone in his gut, uncomfortable and heavy. It hurts something at his core to hear Kenny talk like that, even if he can’t exactly place why, and the thought disappears the second he gets close enough to grasp it. “Well, for the record, I will.”
“Sure you will, Tucker,” Kenny smirks, all traces of sadness seem to have melted away. Instead, Kenny shifts closer, knocking his shoulder into Craig’s. “I’d be happy, you know? If you were the first person to, well-” Kenny cuts himself off, his unsaid words lingering in the ether around them.
“‘Well’ what? What do you mean? Tons of people are gonna miss you,” Craig bumps their shoulders together again, ignoring the way the brief touch feels like a jolt of electricity through his body.
A smile creeps across Kenny’s lips as he stares at Craig, eyes flickering over his face and stopping for a beat on Craig’s mouth, but he refuses to let himself get his hopes up even when their eyes meet again. “Yeah? People like you?”
Craig shrugs a shoulder, feigning nonchalance that he knows Kenny can see right through, “Yeah, maybe I will.”
“You know, Craig,” Kenny leans in, his hand sliding next to Craig’s until their pinkies touch, “the world needs more people like you.”
With a wink, Kenny pushes off the edge and falls sideways into the pool with a splash. Kenny’s head breaks the surface moments later with such a beautiful laugh Craig that thinks maybe he’s a siren. After all, Kenny’s been slowly dragging him down further into the deep, and he does feel like he’s drowning.
“What the hell are you doing, it’s freezing,” Craig watches Kenny tread water in front of him, ignoring Clyde’s whoop of approval from across the pool. He can feel the smile on his face twitching to life as Kenny beams at him from the water, even if Kenny’s being a huge idiot, “Get out, dude, or you’re gonna get hypothermia and die before you graduate.”
“Been there, done that,” Craig thinks he hears Kenny say, but the words seem a little like smoke as they vanish from his mind.
“What?”
“I said join me!”
“Nope, I don’t have a death wish, thank you very much,” Craig raises an eyebrow and kicks a small wave of water at Kenny.
Gliding up to the edge of the pool, Kenny lifts himself from the water and into Craig’s space, hands braced on either side of him. Craig can almost taste the water on Kenny’s lips. Whether it’s a trick of the light or something else entirely, Kenny’s blue eyes are inviting and haunting and lock with Craig’s as that damn smirk pulls at the corner of Kenny’s lips. “Are you sure I can’t tempt you to come take a dip with me?” The tone of his voice is low, nothing like Craig’s heard before, and his heart longs to hear more.
But before he can even answer, before any coherent thoughts, let alone words, can make it from his brain to his mouth, Kenny grabs him and falls backward, plunging them both into the icy water.
It takes Craig a moment to gather his bearings, between Kenny and the sudden cold enveloping him and Kenny, but he manages to kick off the bottom of the pool, breaking the surface with a gasp next to Kenny. The sound of raucous laughter and cheers echo around him, and he instinctively reaches for his hat only to see it floating closer to Kenny.
Kenny snatches the drenched hat and pulls it over his mussed hair with a laugh. “Mine now!” He swims away from Craig, shooting a coy glance over his shoulder, daring Craig to follow.
And Craig does. Of course he does, it’s Kenny and the end of high school, and yeah he said he wanted to get stupid, and this? This is about as stupid as it gets.
Craig catches Kenny near the shallow end, practically running into Kenny’s chest when he abruptly stops and turns to face Craig.
He’s close. Kenny is so fucking close that Craig can see himself reflected in his eyes, can see each bead of water clinging to Kenny’s blond lashes.
And Kenny’s watching him right back, his smirk softening around the edges. “How do I look?”
“Amazing,” Craig breathes without a second thought. Kenny doesn’t draw back or laugh it off, his cheeks going a faint shade of pink as the word hovers in the charged air between them. It would be so easy to lean in...
The loud wail of a police siren outside seeps into the pool, bouncing off the walls and causing everyone littering the pool deck and bleachers to jump.
“IT’S THE FUZZ!!! SCATTER!” Clyde shouts, brandishing his super soaker and grabbing for both Token and Bebe in his mad dash for the door.
Craig isn’t exactly sure how they all make it out of the building, but they do, even if he and Kenny have to sprint in soaked clothes, trying not to laugh over the ridiculous squelching sounds their shoes make on the concrete. They hop a fence outside the parking lot to avoid running into a disgruntled Sergeant Yates, their friends all splitting off in different directions and easily providing more confusion than their local cop can handle. It’s idiotic and exhilarating and stupid, and with Kenny at his side slumped down behind a shrub on the other side of the fence, Craig feels like he can finally catch his breath and laugh in earnest.
Kenny is breathing just as hard, wet hat still slopped atop his head. He turns to look at Craig and they both can't help but laugh at how ridiculous this all is. Kenny covers his mouth to try to stifle the sounds, not wanting them to get in trouble.
They’re close, pressed side to side in a tangle of sopping clothes and limbs, and Craig doesn’t want to admit he was wrong for not initially wanting to come, but maybe he’ll send Clyde a thank you text in the morning. Maybe.
Shit, his phone.
Craig shifts to pull his phone out of his pocket and visibly sighs when it still turns on and a message from Clyde pops up on the screen, “Looks like they made it to the car.”
“Great, ‘cus we gotta book it,” Kenny whispers into Craig’s space, breath warm against his wet skin, “I think I just heard Yates get out of the car.”
“Like we can’t out-run him,” Craig keeps his voice as even as he can, quirking an eyebrow when Kenny gets to his feet and extends a hand to Craig.
“He’s been going hard on CrossFit; is that a chance you’re willing to take?”
Craig stares at Kenny’s offered hand, his heart still overreacting in his chest. “Fuck it,” he grabs onto Kenny and scrambles to his feet, Kenny not letting go even after they start running.
They spot Token’s car two streets away, fingers finally letting go of each other now that they aren’t in immediate danger.
“Where the hell were you guys? We circled the block like four times,” Clyde leans out the passenger window as much as it will allow, waving frantically as they approach. “C’mon, get in!”
“No, no way,” Token calls over Clyde’s shoulder. “Listen. Craig. Normally I would, but you’re soaking wet.”
“And muddy,” Kenny adds helpfully.
“And muddy,” shaking his head with a laugh, Token offers them an apologetic smile, “sorry, man.”
“Don’t worry, dude,” and maybe Craig should be more upset, but if it means he can spend a little longer with Kenny, he’s not going to complain. “After all, it’s a Tesla.”
He can hear Kenny’s agreement beside him before he pipes up, “No hard feelings, Token my man. The car costs more than I do.”
As the car pulls away, Clyde gives Craig an over exaggerated wink, yelling, “Don’t stay out too late, lovebirds, we got a line to walk in the morning!”
Wingman, indeed. Craig knows his face is going red, and he’s suddenly very aware of the fact that his hat is a soaked mess on Kenny’s head instead of his own. “Man. Clyde just...he says some shit, doesn’t he,” he runs a hand through his damp hair, looking everywhere except at Kenny. “Do, uh, since we’re...out here, do you want to walk home? With me, I mean.”
Wow, Craig mentally kicks himself for turning into a complete moron, smooth as 40 grit sandpaper.
“Nah, I think I’ll walk home with that other soaking wet noodle across the street,” Kenny retorts with the shrug of his shoulder as he starts walking along the sidewalk. When Craig doesn’t immediately follow, Kenny turns and shoots a quizzical grin at Craig, “You realize I was being sarcastic, right? You’re the only noodle who's walking me home tonight, Craigory.”
“Y-yeah, yeah, sorry,” Craig jogs forward to meet Kenny, easily falling into step beside him as they continue down the sidewalk. Maybe it’s that they’re really alone for the first time catching up to him all at once, but man he really needs to pull it together.
“So how long?” Kenny asks, eyes forward as they walk.
“How long what?” Craig glances at Kenny, trying to shove down that small surge of panic that rises in his chest.
A thin, blond eyebrow cocks as Kenny flashes the biggest shit-eating grin Craig’s ever seen, and he’s seen a lot of Kenny’s shit-eating grins.
“How long have you been head over heels in love with me?”
Just kidding. Walking home with Kenny was a mistake.
Craig stops in the middle of the sidewalk so he doesn’t completely trip over his own feet. “Wh...what’re you...? Where’d you get that idea?”
“Craig, please,” Kenny says before he scratches his cheek sheepishly. It’s then that Craig notices the small, growing blush creeping across the expanse of freckles on his cheeks. “I have eyes and ears.”
He opens his mouth to object, to tell Kenny that he’s mistaken or any other lie or half truth that wants so spring to his lips, but he can’t. This is it. Craig knows that there’s little to no hope in this situation, as much as he wishes that Kenny’s little jabs and smiles and touches over the years were something more, he’s a realist, and Craig’s time is running out.
“Fuck,” Craig lets out a low sigh, scrubbing his hands over his face and tipping his head up to the sky. “Listen,” he instinctively goes to tug on his hat tassels and drops his hands when there’s nothing there, “I...shit, it’s that obvious?”
“To be honest? No. Not until you just confirmed it,” Kenny says quietly, his eyes darting away from Craig as he has his existential crisis.
“It was a wild shot in the dark, to keep this honesty streak going,” Kenny’s nervous laugh almost stops Craig’s heart with how incredibly endearing it is. “I was bullshitting. I had a vibe, but I mean, who knew? Not me.”
Craig is at a loss, words and thoughts jumbling into incomprehensible goo in his head. “Are you kidding me?” he finally gets out, the water probably evaporating off his skin with how hot his face is, “I just. Fuck. Um. I’m gonna go disappear into the forest for forever now, bye.”
How could he have been so stupid. This is why he didn’t open up, this is why he’d rather be thought of as a closed up, emotionally constipated asshole than someone with actual feelings because-
“Craig stop! No, hey, hey!” Kenny’s hands wrap around Craig’s forearm, tugging at him to stop.
“Look,” Craig turns to face Kenny fully, heart pounding in his ears, “I’m sorry, okay? I know you didn’t sign up for this, and now you know-“
“But-“ Kenny tries to interject.
“-but at least we’re graduating and you don’t have to see me anymore or whatever if this changes things.” This is all wrong. As much as Craig wanted to tell Kenny, to say something and try to figure this thing out for years, this is exactly why he didn’t, and now he’s gone and completely fucked the whole thing up.
Suddenly Craig feels something cold and wet draped over his head and all he can see is blue. “Can you stop for two seconds, Craig?”
Being reunited with his soggy hat firmly shuts Craig up, and he gives Kenny a faint nod.
“When did I ever say this was a bad thing?”
“Wh...when you didn’t say anything?” Craig feels like he’s seeing the world through a funhouse mirror, everything getting twisted and warped the longer he looks.
An awkward chuckle bursts out of Kenny’s mouth, a blush matching Craig’s staining his cheeks. “When? When you were freaking out? I didn’t really get the chance!”
“I mean, do you blame me for freaking out? I just admitted that I like you on an empty street at 4 in the morning!”
“Better than a crowded street at 4PM?” Kenny tries, his smile bright in the moonlight.
Damn Kenny for having something that resembles a point. “Barely,” Craig deflates, dragging his chullo from his head to wring it out.
Maybe he’s distracted by the gallon of water that drips from his hat, but Craig is shocked to see how close Kenny is when he looks up. “Barely, hm?” Kenny teases, face a little too close.
Craig’s mind yells at him to take a step back because he’s wishing for something he can’t have again, that any kindness from Kenny right now has to be him humoring Craig. But he doesn’t move, instead just staring down at Kenny in front of him.
Kenny continues to stare. Craig’s brain switches into overdrive, wondering what could possibly be going through the mischievous boy’s mind. Was he going to prank him? Make a joke? Was he trying to psyche him out? Instigate the world's most awkward staring contest?
What he doesn’t expect are long, delicate fingers raising to grip one of the tassels of his chullo. Kenny tugs very gently on it and smiles one of his genuine smiles that makes Craig’s entire world tilt on its axis.
“Hey, you like me, right?”
“I...yes?” Craig is going to get whiplash from this conversation. “I thought I’d made that pretty, stupidly clear.”
“It was a little fuzzy,” Kenny tips his chin up to meet Craig’s eyes. “But I’m big on consent, so I needed to hear it straight out.”
A laugh, awkward as all hell but a laugh nonetheless, bubbles out of Craig. “I...yeah, I like you, Kenny.”
Kenny’s expression brightens as he snatches the other tassel and yanks Craig down into a kiss.
Of all the ways Craig thought this night could go, he never expected to be kissing Kenny McCormick on the sidewalk in the middle of the night. It takes longer than he wants to admit for his mind to catch up to his body and become an active participant, hesitantly pressing his lips to Kenny’s and resting a hand on his hip before he overthinks everything and pulls away.
Kenny’s hands move away from the tassels, his fingertips brushing along Craig’s jaw until his nails are scratching lightly at the nape of his neck. Craig isn’t sure if it’s the nails or the plushness of Kenny’s lips that are causing the goosebumps running down his arms, but he is certain that both will be culprits in his untimely death.
It could be seconds or hours before they part, all Craig knows is that Kenny is still close enough that his breath washes over Craig’s lips in little puffs. “Oh,” Craig says after a moment, watching Kenny’s face morph into a grin.
“Was that as mind blowing for you as it was for me?” Kenny jokes, but Craig can tell he’s nervous, especially when he notices how red his face is turning.
“I’m not complaining,” Craig hears himself say, too busy mapping the freckles on Kenny’s cheeks like the night sky above them. “But you’re, y’know...that wasn’t you humoring me, was it?”
“No. I’m not that mean.” Kenny smiles sheepishly, his eyes darting to the sky before meeting Craig’s again, “I kinda dig your vibe, if you catch my drift.”
A million thoughts flood Craig’s mind but they disintegrate into nothing but static because no, he didn’t hear that right. There’s no way that Kenny said anything resembling that he liked Craig.
But. Well. If Craig gives himself a minute to dream, to wish and hope, maybe Kenny finding his way to Craig’s side all these years hasn’t been a coincidence. “Wait, you...really?”
Kenny shrugs his shoulders dramatically before scrubbing his hands over his face. “Ah shit, don’t look so surprised. I’ve been dropping hints for months.”
“I...” What, didn’t notice? Because he did. Well, sort of. But he didn’t want to get his hopes up and be wrong and humiliated. “I didn’t...want to assume.”
"Understandable. Not like I said anything straight out. I can't really blame you." Kenny pauses, and he looks almost afraid of whatever he’s about to say. Craig wants to reassure him, do whatever he can to convince the boy in front of him that this, this with Kenny, is exactly what he's wanted for so long. "I didn't want to get my hopes up either," Kenny starts then stops again, his hands sliding into his jean pockets as he gazes around the abandoned road. "I didn't think getting rejected was how I wanted to spend my senior year, y’know?"
“Yeah, same,” Craig breathes out, feeling Kenny’s words in his bones. “I’m...really wishing I would have just...said something. I guess hindsight is 20/20,” his sigh draws Kenny’s attention back to him, and that look alone sends a shiver down his spine, “too bad we’re kinda out of time.”
“Says who?” Kenny frowns for half a second before he’s laughing, “Are you dead, Tucker? Because you look alive to me.”
"Well, I mean yeah , but we're graduating. We'd have the summer, but," Craig pulls his chullo off his head again to run a hand through his hair, trying to ignore the lead that just dropped in his stomach, "but then we're gonna be gone."
“What, so you weren’t planning on asking me out?” Kenny wrinkles his nose and gestures between the two of them, “I thought we had something here, space cadet.”
"W-what? I mean I want to, and we do. At least, I think we do-"
"Or do you just let everyone grab you by the hat flaps and kiss you?"
Craig knows his face is slowly turning into a tomato and wishes they weren't standing under a streetlight. "No, I don't let everyone do that."
“Then I’m not sure what the hub-bub is all about? Unless Tweek gave me the wrong info?” Kenny looks perplexed for a second, narrowing his eyes and tilting his head, “Did you decide against Seattle for college? Because he swore over the good bean juice it was Seattle.”
Wait, what. "I...I'm still going to Seattle, but I don't..." Far too many thoughts are flooding Craig’s mind and clambering for his attention for him to be anything near cogent. “Why were you and Tweek talking about me going to Seattle?”
Kenny’s smile takes on a different light. It’s knowing and almost apprehensive, throwing Craig for a loop because of how sure of himself Kenny so often is. “It looks like we have the same taste in prospective colleges,” toeing at the concrete, Kenny glances up at Craig through his lashes, “And once I got my acceptance letters, Tweek mentioned that it'd be nice that there would be someone you knew at school."
One by one, the pieces finally click into place in Craig's head and just like that he's all too aware of his heart beat in his chest. "You're going to be there, too?"
Kenny’s tongue peeks between his teeth as he chuckles under his breath. “Don’t sound so shocked, Starboy. I got a full ride. While everyone else was fucking off, I was studying my brains out. I was saving those part time job paychecks for Karen’s college, not mine.”
Craig doesn’t think he’s ever noticed the delicate ring of pale green bleeding into the vivid blue of Kenny’s eyes, and maybe it’s the lighting or tonight or the potential of a future close to this boy, but Kenny looks more beautiful than Craig can possibly describe.
“So yeah, I'll be there. In case you, I dunno, wanted to get overpriced hipster coffee, or," Kenny unconsciously wets his bottom lip, "try this out. See where it goes."
"Yes," Craig says, not even caring if he sounds over-eager. He resigned himself to an early defeat forever ago, thinking that this was not only impossible because they wouldn't be near each other, but also because it's Kenny and he's Craig ‘nice-and-boring’ Tucker, but now? Whatever black hole that's been eating away at him over leaving is gone. "Yeah...I-I'd really like that."
Kenny closes the distance between them, crowding into Craig’s space. Between the crisp night air and his wet clothes, Craig should be shivering, but it isn’t until Kenny takes his hand like it’s the most natural thing in the world that Craig shudders.
Kenny’s expression is gentle as he twines their fingers together between them. “Well, I think the first step is walking me home. And the second step?” The flush over Kenny’s cheeks turns a new, bright shade of red when his mouth curves into a coy smile. “Well, I’ve kinda got a thing I’m supposed to be at around noon, but maybe after we could hang out? Maybe grab some shitty coffee?”
Craig thinks that even if he’s drinking straight out of Clyde’s cursed super soaker that he wouldn’t mind too much as long as Kenny’s there.
“Turns out I have a thing around noon, too,” Craig can feel his lips pulling into a grin, “but after that? I know a place with some really shitty coffee.”
“You’re speaking my language,” Kenny grips Craig’s hand a little tighter as he goes up on his toes to press a lingering kiss to Craig’s lips. “C’mon, Craig.”
“Yeah,” Craig’s heart thuds in his chest, chasing Kenny for another kiss and feeling a wave of warmth rush over him when Kenny laughs into his mouth. For the first time in months, that cloud of anxiety building over school and the future is gone, and the prospect of Kenny joining him on whatever adventure awaits them fills him with excitement instead of melancholy. “Let’s go.”