Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The keyhole just wasn’t complete yet. Just like the guy who possessed Riku said it wasn’t. It was still in need of the 7th princess's heart… Sora realized this with a frown as the Keyblade’s tip slowly lowered to the ground, away from where the keyhole was supposed to have formed.

The final heart of light...

It was currently nestled safely right next to Sora’s own heart, sheltered from harm within him. The problem now was to hurriedly release it and give it back to its rightful owner, all for the purpose of finishing off that forsaken Ansem once and for all (and saving Riku too).

There was no way Sora was going to leave or move on until he did so.

“Sora! The keyhole’s not finished yet! I.. think we need Kairi’s heart to…” Goofy trailed off, looking down at Donald and then back to the boy. “Well, what should we do?”

Goofy nearly startled him into dropping Kingdom Key when he put his hand on Sora’s shoulder, but he caught himself quickly by dissipating it. Sora didn’t turn to Goofy, but he frowned anyway. He raised a hand to his chest in thought and turned his gaze upwards wondering how exactly they were to do that.

...How was he going to remove Kairi’s heart and return it to her? He hadn’t even known her heart had been with him the whole time since their home was destroyed until like, what, half an hour ago? It wasn’t exactly a concept that Sora was familiar with. He just knew that hearts were powerful when it came to something their owner cared deeply about, and when it came to the connections and bonds that they made. His heart alone was weak, but when it came to someone he cared about, he knew his heart could be strong if he had to fight for it.

Sighing, Sora nodded to Goofy in thanks and turned around to glance at Kairi’s unconscious form. She was lying unsettlingly still, in the middle of the platform where Sora had just fought with Riku. Well- no, he actually fought Ansem who was just using Riku's body. 

He stared at her for a few moments, protectiveness for both of his friends tempting him to lose reason and just try to wake Kairi up by shaking her. Even though he knew that that was a stupid thought and that it wasn’t going to work, he still felt the compulsion. Riku would surely give him hell if he were here and that was the only thing Sora thought to do. The boy managed a small chuckle to himself even in the dire circumstances.

His eyes then traveled from her form to the object that was laying haphazardly near her on the floor. That was the Keyblade that Riku had said…could unlock people’s hearts. Sure, Ansem was going to use it on him to steal Kairi’s heart, but...if Sora was the one to control that, then...

What would happen?

“I wonder…” Sora found himself muttering under his breath. It was rash, even he knew that, but he couldn’t find any other way to go about safely getting Kairi her heart back- and quickly, too. With a resolute nod to no one in particular this time, Sora brushed by Donald and Goofy and strode confidently down the stairs to where the weapon lay.

“Wait, Sora,” Goofy spoke in confusion, not moving to stop the boy but concerned nonetheless. “Hold on, what’re ya plannin’ here? Sora?”

Sora stopped briefly when his shoe bumped into the weapon, and he stared at the blunt blade’s tip. He took a deep breath. Better to not waste any time. He bent down without a sound and snatched the huge Keyblade up with both hands, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. Sora closed his eyes and took another deep breath before sending a brave smile towards where he could hear Goofy and Donald rushing down to him. They were shouting at him, panicked, and pleading with him to stop.

He didn’t.

“Thanks, you two.” Sora smiled once more at his two companions, who couldn’t make it to him fast enough. 

Sora wasn’t gonna let this solution go to waste, no matter how scared he felt. He was petrified, actually. But, he had to be strong if he was going to protect Kairi, and he would do so even if it cost him. He slowly closed his eyes, flipped the weapon on himself, and thrust it into his chest.

His heart was thrumming in his ears, hard and fast, its beating drowning out the concerned yells and warping them until they tapered off into nothing. Static soon filled the place of his fading heartbeat, and his vision was swarmed with it too. He vaguely noticed the soft aching clang of the Keyblade falling to the floor, and the sounds of the hearts getting released by the blade and filtering off to their owners. He smiled softly as he felt the last one be set free from himself, and then embraced the sensation of falling.

Somehow he was able to hear Kairi’s voice yell for him too, amidst the chaos. Good. That meant that she was awake and had her heart back. That meant Sora did what he set out to do… he could fall back without regret. His heart wrenched one last time and his world was plunged into darkness.

__-----__--___

Kairi crumpled to the floor, brushing her leg against the cold unforgiving texture. She had just watched her best friend get physically destroyed right in front of her. And it was all her fault. He did it to save her. She had grasped to hold him, stop him from breaking apart at the seams, but... he disappeared. He dematerialized right out of her arms and faded away as if he had never been there in the first place. She was left grasping at empty air instead. And she couldn't do anything fast enough to stop it. 

A sob tried to tear itself out of her throat, but no sound came out. Her throat closed up instead, and all she could do was watch with glassy eyes as the last bits of light from her friend floated upward and out of existence. Donald and Goofy called out in vain for Sora to come back, but they all knew that was a fruitless effort. There simply was no coming back from something like that.

She had seen some of what Sora had been through during the time her heart had been with him. For everything he’d done to find her and Riku, for every dumb decision where she wished she were there to protect him.. she didn’t expect him to do something as drastic as this.

She staggered to her feet, hot tears bubbling in her eyes, and looked to the empty space in front of her where she could see his two friends doing the same. “Sora...are you really-..”

The tears threatened to fall, but she wouldn’t let them.

No, that kind of thinking wasn’t going to help anyone. He had given everything up in order to save her this last time, and she wasn’t about to go and waste that final gift of his. She raised a hand to her heart and looked at his friends, Donald and Goofy. “No,” she spoke more to herself than them, her voice cracking with emotion, “I won’t let him go! We’ll figure something out! We just have to!”

She turned fully to Donald and Goofy, desperate to find some solace or ideas in his friends, but.. a whirring sound ripped through the fabric of reality off to the side near the newly completed keyhole. A deep and threatening voice crept out of a dark swirling portal that appeared, sending a chill down her spine. And she really wanted to punch the owner of the voice in the face for doing all of this. She knew exactly who this was. Ansem.

“So you have awakened at last, Princess.” The tall form of who she knew to be the self-proclaimed ‘Seeker of Darkness’, Ansem, glared down at the three of them, narrowing in on Kairi specifically. “The keyhole is now complete, and you have served your purpose. I have no further use for you.” The smile- no, sneer -that he sent her was wicked and darkened with malice.

There was no way Sora’s two friends and her alone could stop him...it just wouldn't work. Maybe if she had a weapon, like how Sora did, she’d stand a chance. Her mind raced and she was on the brink of panic, no other course of action available to her, until- as though feeling her call, a Keyblade manifested itself. Her right hand exploded into light and Sora’s Keyblade, Kingdom Key, sparked to life in her grasp. Her confusion was matched by Sora’s companions behind her, but she had no time to think about it.

Maybe she really could do something to repay Sora after all.

Perhaps the weapon had sensed her determination and resonated with her heart because it had been with Sora for so long. She didn’t know how long it would last, though, now that Sora was...gone. With no heart tethering the Keyblade to reality, it was sure to disappear too.

Ansem roared with rage at the sight. He raised his hands skyward and summoned a large miasmic swarm of Shadow Heartless that filed into the room and began blocking out the light. The chamber was swathed black save for the small sources of unnatural glowing light from the castle’s pipes and the beady yellow eyes of the shadows.

Ansem made for a quick attack, and Kairi brought up the strange weapon- that felt vaguely familiar to her even though she had never wielded it herself -in defense. But, the attack never came, for Ansem was stopped in place almost as if he was fighting against his own body.

“No! I won’t let you use me like this!” spoke a voice Kairi would’ve recognized anywhere. It was Riku. He was spectral, almost, visibly fighting to stop Ansem from using his body to harm them, but it didn’t look like it could hold him for long. Riku was strong, sure, but so was Ansem, and he had the body. “Go, Kairi! Run! I’ll hold him back!” Riku shouted desperately at her, but she held her ground and shook her head with determination. She raised Kingdom Key for him to see that she was ready to fight too. She could do this.

Riku’s eyes widened in surprise, only to narrow once more as he gave Kairi a nod. He believed in her. She was sure, though, if he was physically here, or in the right mind to be making decisions, he would have told her to run away anyway, weapon or not. But she didn’t need protection. She could be the one to protect too.

Ansem scoffed once more and Riku grunted with effort as the two entered the keyhole, the Seeker of Darkness confident that the sheer amount of summoned Heartless would snuff her pure light out.

“Riku! I’ll do this for you, and Sora! Okay?!” She yelled after him, preparing to come through on her words and push past the heartless. Riku sent a sad smile at her before he was once again left to the mercy of Ansem and they faded into the dark.

She then screamed, out of sheer spite and frustration and determination. There was no way these shadows would survive Kairi’s willpower, and she would let them have it if it meant fulfilling this revenge. Ducking under a thrown shield, she was suddenly very cognizant of and thankful for the backup that Donald and Goofy were providing. A blast of lightning struck on her left too, disintegrating a few Shadows.

Kairi ungraciously slashed through Shadow after Neoshadow until the light gradually returned to the room and she was panting for breath. She was no swordsman and her techniques were terrible but she was able to get through every Shadow, Darkball, and Neoshadow that leaped for her. She leaned on the hilt of Kingdom Key to use as support as she willed herself to stay standing. It hadn’t been too hard, but she was running on those damn emotions and absolute adrenaline...and that was starting to wear off.

There was just one shadow left.

She glared at it and waited for it to jump at her, just like all its disgusting brethren, but it didn't. The creature stared at her, and its squirming almost seemed submissive. Like it wasn't going to harm her. If anything...it looked confused.?

“Confounded Heartless! Get lost, will ya!?” Donald yelled, about to rush at it with his wand raised, but Kairi stopped him.

Taking a cautious step towards it with Kingdom Key lowered, she gasped. There was something about this shadow that felt...familiar? “Hang on..” Donald grabbed her arm to try and snap her out of it, but she quickly shut him up with one word. “Sora?”

Donald and Goofy gasped as the shadow slowly lifted its head at the name to look at her in recognition. And that’s when Kairi saw a small glimmer of a silver chain around its neck. She nearly choked out an undignified cry when she noticed the distinct crown-shaped charm at the base of the chain. Sora’s necklace. The one he never took off and cherished so.

It was him. It was Sora. Or, his Heartless, at least.

She quickly dissipated the Keyblade and rushed at the shadow. It seemed spooked for a second, it's twitching frantic, but let itself get scooped into a hug from Kairi.

She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but she couldn’t help but feel disappointed as her friend’s heartless fell slack in her embrace and leaned into her hug, relaxed. Its arms hooked over her shoulder and legs wrapped around her middle in an embrace. The twitching had all but ceased and it looked up at her with a tilted head. It seemed to know who she was and felt safe.

Good, at least that was something, and she now knew what fate her friend had met. She had been hoping that her embrace would perhaps lead Sora back to her in the light, but, then again, she had always been a dreamer. Idealistic. Naive. Sora was special, but even he couldn’t escape from the clutches of the Heartless once he became one himself. She felt almost silly for thinking otherwise.

Kairi stared down into the yellow unblinking eyes of her best friend’s heartless for a few moments before turning to Donald and Goofy. The two were at a loss for words, both looking equally astounded. She nodded at them, and they understood. Helping Kairi to her feet, Goofy smiled hopefully at the small Shadow, “It’s okay, Sora! We’ll get ya your light back, dont’cha worry, buddy!” The shadow perked up at this and looked back to Kairi.

Thankfully it seemed as though the little Shadow could understand them, although sluggishly. She didn’t know if that was going to last though or if the Heartless nature would take over the passivity. She, nor Sora from what she could see of his adventure, hadn't met any Heartless that hadn't wanted to go straight for the heart, so a passive one was new territory. Even if it was Sora, it was still a Heartless. But for now, this was enough.

Kairi swallowed hard and then nodded to herself. Standing up, she scooped up the small shadow and let it rest on her head and shoulders where it then held onto her protectively. Right, this was not over yet. And it wouldn’t be until both of her friends were safe.

She was comforted by the soft jingling of Sora’s crown necklace near her head even though the aura now surrounding her was cold with darkness. It was...a familiar darkness though, and strangely comforting. A far cry from the malicious darkness they had faced thus far, and she welcomed it.

Sora’s Heartless nudged her and pointed its arm towards the keyhole, twitching slightly as if it was ready to help her fight. It was a nice sentiment, though she doubted it would be much help, being only a Shadow.

“Now, Ansem’s gonna pay,” Kairi called, her young voice betraying the venom of her growled words. She summoned Kingdom Key once more. She glanced to where Sora's Hearrtless was resting on her shoulder, "Right, Sora? I'll protect you now, that's a promise. I'm totally gonna kick his butt. And you know I'm gonna knock some sense into Riku too."

But, then she paused. She felt something deeper within her own heart. Kingdom Key would aid her so long as she needed it, but something else was calling to her deep within herself. She dispelled Sora’s Keyblade and reached into her own heart. Warmth spread in the hand she had held it in, familiar, yet much more comforting and special.

A noticeably different weapon materialized in her soft grasp with a flash of light and glimmering heat. Sora’s heartless hissed for a moment at the sudden light and then stared it’s unblinking eyes in awe at the weapon. Donald, Goofy, and herself too stared at it in amazement. It was a Keyblade, but very different from Kingdom Key.

The weapon, Destiny’s Embrace, she realized, was red and orange, adorned with decorated flowers, vines, and seashells. The teeth of the flowered blade looked sharp, yet graceful. The weapon was perfect, if not a bit impractical looking- beautiful, but powerful too.

Donald and Goofy cheered for the new Keyblade wielder, though she could tell they were too surprised to question her resilience and ability to use the weapon. After all, they’d seen her hold her own just now, too.

Kairi giggled, but after sharing a look with the shadow on her shoulder, she nodded with as much determination and seriousness as she could gather. She ran. Donald and Goofy at her sides, toward the keyhole. The darkness wouldn’t stop emanating from it until they stopped Ansem and sealed the heart of all worlds, and that was exactly what they were gonna do, however long it took.

_--___-_--_---___-_-

Chapter Text

DAY 1:

-_---__--__---_-

Sora had not been expecting to continue... being.

So why, then, did he find himself surrounded on all sides by inky darkness? ...Man, and now he really didn’t understand Ansem’s infatuation with the stuff. It was uninviting and cold. But then again...so was Ansem. That held merit, then or whatever.

His body felt heavy, but he couldn't recall why. He had...huh, what had he been doing that led him to this dark place? Sora couldn’t remember much, actually. He knew that he was trying to...help his friends, but it was fuzzy on why they needed help in the first place.

It was...Kairi and Riku. Were they okay?!

He figured he should have been panicked, but…if he wasn’t, then didn’t that mean he had confidence in them? Yeah, they’d be fine. They were strong, stronger than himself at times.

So was he fine? He knew he had...done something to himself, to his heart specifically, to save Kairi. That he was sure of. What it was that he had done though? No clue.

Sora winced as he began to feel something beyond the vague empty inky blackened void. A solid mass beneath him that tickled at his bare arms.

Grass?

Opening his eyes he realized he was facing a sea of flaming orange. A sunsetting sky. He was lying down on a large patch of grass, gazing towards this sleepy fire above him. What had happened to the dark? Well, no, actually, Sora didn’t want to be in the dark anyway. The orange light dancing above him was a much better sight.

His head hurt to think, his chest ached and he felt empty. Must have been a side effect of whatever darkness he had been in, if he really thought about it- which he didn’t want to, so he let it drop. He still hurt anyway, why dwell on it? He'd just get a bigger headache than he already had...

With a soft grunt of effort, Sora pushed himself up so that he was sitting on the grass instead. Looking around brought a few things to his attention; For starters, he was outside, alone, and in the woods. On his other side stood a tall metal and stone gate protecting a large run-down mansion. The pillars in the front lawn were broken and the pieces scattered throughout the yard. If he wanted to explore it (which he didn’t currently) he wouldn't have been able to get through the barred gate. It was chained closed with a large intimidating padlock stapped across it.

Well, actually, if he summoned his Keyblade he could, but he didn’t see the point.

He looked down at his lap...he wasn’t wearing the clothes he had on before. In fact, he’d never seen these before. Tan, a lot of tan, actually. Sora would have preferred red like he usually wore. He still had on a short jacket though, even if it was different; tan and checkered with black with a collar of red. That red was fine, then. His shirt was sleeveless and clasped like a zipper on top there was a ninja-star-like emblem. He raised his left hand, his wrist decorated with a black band checkered with white, and two bands on his fingers- black and white as well -to fiddle with the clasp. Sora couldn’t help but feel like that motion was familiar, but he was missing the point about why he felt this way. He didn't mind the new clothes, actually, but also didn't bother trying to figure out where he got them.

With a small sigh, he took a look behind him and staggered himself to his feet. And that was when he heard a small sputtering sound behind him, taking him from his thoughts about his weird clothes. His attention snapped back to where he had been facing before, and lo and behold there was a growing patch of black and purple that tore right through the still air around it.

Strange.

Sora jumped back as a tall, foreboding, cloaked figure stepped out of the...darkened portal. Sora felt suddenly frozen in place. He let the man approach and face him because he couldn't get himself enough willpower to back away. The man did not move, nor did much of anything actually, for a few moments with his eyeless gaze scrutinizing Sora’s being. In response, Sora just stared back at the figure. He wasn’t sure what to say really...he didn’t know where he was or why he felt so empty. What was he supposed to say? Who was this guy?

Slowly and deliberately, the gruff man before him reached his hands up, and removed his hood to let it fall against his back. His long silver hair flowed out of its hold and fell over his shoulders in the front and back. His eyes, revealed, shone a piercing gold that bore right through Sora.

“You seek answers,” the man spoke after a bit of silence, low, but deep and powerful. The sound sent shivers down his spine, but still Sora stood his ground. It was almost as if the mysterious man could see right through him just by his gaze and voice alone. It was unnerving. “You feel nothing.” This was said with utmost certainty...

He...well, maybe he did feel nothing, now that the man had mentioned it.

“I can give you purpose again.” The man continued, and at this Sora’s interest piqued. Still standing relatively motionless, his head tilted just a bit at the statement. This man...could give him answers? Purpose? Did he not have one already? He couldn't quite recall it. 

But...for some reason, he was sure he already had a purpose, something he was supposed to do...something about him having the Keyblade right? Saving the worlds...? Something about creatures of darkness called Heartless...but those thoughts brought up other thoughts that Sora didn’t understand. So if this man was to give him a real purpose, clear up this confusion that he was obviously experiencing, then maybe that was for the better. Besides, if Sora had a purpose before, but couldn't remember what exactly without getting confused, then maybe he really did need a new purpose. At least until he remembered, probably.

Sora nodded numbly at the man, though he still didn’t trust him. In a way, the gruff felt very similar to Ansem, and Sora knew that that was a huge red flag, but what other choice did he have? If he ran away now, or stars forbid drew his weapon- if he still had that - where would that leave him? He was groggy and weak at the moment and the man didn’t exactly seem like the most friendly person. Sora wouldn't get very far.

Suddenly the man lifted one of his leather-clad hands before Sora’s face, who could only watch dumbly as letters appeared floating in the air. It read his name; Sora. This man must have known him, then, and maybe he knew about his friends too, or where they were.

That was enough incentive for Sora at the moment, he supposed.

The large, magical and slightly transparent orange letters that spelled out his name floated there for a few moments before they began to spin around his head. It made him dizzy, and his eyes unfocused as they zipped by his vision rapidly. He couldn't focus on them even if he wanted to.

And then suddenly they stopped, suspended in mid-air. A large ‘X’ had severed the letters at the man’s hand right in the middle. The letters had rearranged and he stared at what was supposed to represent himself, deciding to recite it out loud to the man, “R...Roxas?” he whispered. That’s what the letters of his name were altered to. Roxas.

Or it read ‘Saxor’, at least the way it was facing him. But the lettering was backward, so he figured it wasn’t correct... and it seemed he was right the first time, anyway, considering the gruff man had nodded. Sora didn’t much like the sound of ‘Saxor’ over ‘Roxas’ anyway, to be fair.

“That is right, boy, the new you.” Oh, that was his name now? Roxas? Why couldn’t he keep his own name? If anything, that was one thing he could be sure he knew... But, he dismissed the thought as soon as it came. He nodded and repeated the name to the man again.

“Good, Roxas. Follow me, and I will provide you with salvation and reason.” The man turned around and began to walk forward towards the still writhing purple and black corridor. Sora- no, Roxas paused, however, and took a step back from him instead. The man, still unnamed to him, noticed his hesitancy and stopped to look over his shoulder. “Ah. Alright then, I’ll have Axel escort you if you need more... incentive. He’ll find you in the town over that way...if you must be this way.” The mysterious man nodded his head towards the woods and carried on without him.

Roxas didn’t know if the man was just placating him, but he nodded numbly and watched the cloaked man walk through the corridor alone. He hadn’t sounded too bothered, but it didn’t look like Roxas was going to get out of this without going where the man wanted him to. For whatever reason.

Huh.

Roxas let out the breath he had been holding and looked to the woods where he could hear the bustling sounds of the sleepy city lying just beyond. He glanced once more at the disheveled mansion almost to ground himself, and then headed off into the woods. “That was...weird.” Roxas half muttered to himself, his left hand once again moving up to fiddle with his shirt’s clasp.

And that’s when he noticed. There was something missing that should have been around his neck, something he was surprised he recalled. He wasn’t wearing his crown necklace. He scrambled and fumbled with all of his new jacket and pants pockets, but it was not on his person. He ran a frantic hand through his usually chaotic hair, barely noticing the motion as he grasped desperately for his necklace.

Roxas suddenly felt more awake than he had since he woke up in the grass.

Relax, relax...he would find the necklace, and until he did he would have to live with the shirt pendant that looked vaguely like a star.

Stars were important to him, too, right?

And just like that, the grogginess returned to him and he calmed down.

The star was okay, for now.

His head was still very hazy, but if he tried hard enough to think back on his fuzzy memories he thought he saw a few stars connected to the island he lived on with his friends. So that must’ve meant something to him.

It still made him feel empty, though. Actually, that was all he felt, that emptiness, as he pushed his way past the copse of trees and drowned out the sounds of the leaves and whatever was hiding in them. It wasn’t a very long trek toward the town, his feet tracking through the dirt and unkempt grass until he came across a great wall of bricks.

The tall blockade was intimidating, but protective as well, and it would have looked very secure if it hadn’t been for a noticeable gash in the wall. It was fairly small but definitely big enough for Roxas to walk through easily. He approached the hole and poked in his head to get a look at the town that lay behind it.

Seemed fine enough. A nice quiet town.

Some of the bricks had crumbled and fallen around the hole, so Roxas stepped around them and slowly walked into the town. The buildings all had an orange and red color scheme that complimented the sunset in the sky, which almost made the town glow. There was a...trolly? Tram? A train thing... Well, whatever it was, it was slowly making a loop around the common, but Roxas ignored it as he strolled into what looked like the center of the busier part of the town.

There were people out and about, but he didn’t pay much more attention to them as they did to him. Roxas did notice a boy around his age run by with two others with...a popsicle hanging from his mouth. He contemplated following them for a moment, but he didn’t have much of a chance to consider following through with it before he felt a hand land harshly against his shoulder.

Roxas jumped and quickly faced his assailant, almost instinctively bending into an offensive position. He didn’t summon his weapon, but he was ready if he needed to do so. The person who had scared the daylights out of him now panicked and threw his hands up innocently. “Woah, woah there kiddo! Didn’t think you’d try to maim me immediately, jeez. Lighten up a little.”

The man was tall, very tall, with long vibrant red hair that rivaled the orange haze that hung around the air with its intensity. He was.. wearing the same coat that the man from the mansion had been wearing. Was this that person that the man had mentioned would get him…?

Roxas lightened his position, the need for defense passed. Realizing this, he made an effort to stand in his normal slouch to look up at the lanky, red-haired man. “Uh...who?” Roxas was able to ask.

The man from the gate had said this guy’s name was like...funny, he couldn’t remember, but he thought it started with an ‘A’.

The guy looked mock-offended for a second, “Oh, so the big bossman didn’t feel the need to introduce me? Rude.” He leaned over a bit so that he was more level with Roxas’s height. He suddenly felt much shorter than he was.

Axel raised two fingers to the side of his own forehead, gently tapping. “Name’s Axel. Got it memorized?” he said, giving a big smirk at Roxas when he said this. Roxas just nodded. Axel. Right. That wouldn’t be hard...to get memorized.

Axel sighed, but walked behind Roxas again and rested his hand back on his shoulder. Roxas didn’t feel the need to shove it off this time, though, now that he had known it was coming. “Sheesh, kid, talk about blank with a capital ‘B’.” Axel started to lead Roxas by his shoulders further into the town. “Have you not gotten a personality yet?” he asked and was only met with silence on Roxas’s end. “Oh, that’s right. You’re new,” he corrected, but sighed and let it slide.

He led Roxas right towards a small, mostly unpopulated shop where he purchased something small and blue and shoved it into a white plastic bag. He didn’t get a chance to properly see what it was though, but soon enough Axel was guiding him again. He had no idea where he was being led...

As they were walking, Roxas didn’t bother looking around the town. He was more curious as to what was in the bag Axel had, but he didn’t want to ask.

It wasn’t until they arrived at the base of probably the largest building in the town, a clocktower by the looks of it, that they stopped and Axel turned to face him.

“I think the bossman mentioned your name’s Roxas, right?” Roxas hesitated for a second, but nodded quickly and added in a thumbs up for good measure. Axel pointed the hand with the bag up to the top of the tower. “Now look here, Roxas, this'll be the icing on the cake before we RTC and all that, and bring you to Xemnas. Then you’re on your own.”

Roxas understood almost none of that. The icing on the cake meant… something good, or extra. But the rest of it? “Huh? Are we...going up there?” he asked, only the second time he’d spoken to Axel since meeting him. He gestured up to the tower as well. Axel nodded and lowered the bag.

“Don’t worry about that icky other stuff right now, you’ll get to deal with that later. For now, just follow me.” This time when Axel created one of those swirling shadowy corridors with a flick of his hand, Roxas didn’t flinch, but he did hesitate once again to follow when Axel casually strolled into it. “Hey, c’mon, it beats walking up all those stairs, right? Just make it quick, you don’t have your coat yet.” He guessed that made sense if it was a portal of some kind that led straight up to the top of the clocktower.

That made Roxas wonder though, did all of the portals lead there, to this clocktower? No, that didn’t make sense.. it didn’t seem like a place the gruff man from the mansion would take him to. But why didn’t they just use the portal in the first place then, instead of walking all the way over here? And why would he need a coat-?

He stepped into the portal after Axel anyway. It was a brief walk, but for a moment they were walking through a weird path, of… Roxas wasn’t sure what the place was, but it didn’t feel inviting in all its swirling green and purple colors of the void. It felt very cold too, and he wished his arms weren’t exposed. And then suddenly he was looking at the orange sky of the town again. This time, however, it was from the very high vantage point of the top of the clocktower. “Woah…” Roxas gasped, rubbing his bare arms to shield them from the noticeably crisp wind. So maybe that’s what Axel meant when he mentioned having a coat.

The view from where Roxas and Axel now stood had a vantage point of the whole town, the train system leading through and out of it, as well as the surrounding woods and fields. It was as if he could see everything just from this one tower.

He felt like he could stare at the view forever. It was so much like the sunsets he remembered at the islands back home, but so much more...captivating. He was used to the sea and the way the sun reflected off the water in more cool colors. But this? The reds and oranges bounced off every building and tree for as far as he could see. It was breathtaking.

Which is why when Axel suddenly flopped over onto the edge and raised a leg up to lounge comfortably it was so jarring. Roxas had almost forgotten that Axel was even there with him.

Just as his gaze was about to travel back up the open air and scenery, Axel cleared his throat to get his attention again. He patted the spot on the concrete ledge next to him, inviting him to sit as well. If it meant they were going to keep looking at the sunset, then he was okay with that.

Opting for a seat not immediately close to the man, Roxas let himself rest on the edge directly in front of him and kicked his legs over the lip of the concrete. “Tch, pretty, huh?” Axel asked knowingly. Without tearing his eyes off of the view, Roxas nodded. It was very pretty.

A small flash of light blue appeared in the corner of his vision from where Axel was sitting, bringing his attention back forcefully. He had half the mind to ignore it, but then he realized what the redhead was offering to him. Ice cream. Axel nearly forced it into his hand, shoving his own bar into his mouth with a smile.

Roxas stared at the bar in his hands, still wrapped in thin plastic. Where did he get ice cream of all things? Where had he...oh. Was that what had been in the bag? Well, whatever, ice cream was ice cream, and he would always be glad to have some. Even more so when Axel reminded him that this was the ‘icing on the cake’ thing Roxas had forgotten he had mentioned earlier. That in itself brought a small smile to his face.

He crinkled the thin wrapper off and crushed it into a ball in his hand without thinking and took a bite. It was salty, very salty, and he was about to voice this disdain when suddenly the taste had shifted to something sweet. Vanilla maybe? Whatever it was, it was good, so much so that he forgot about his cold arms and ate it without hesitation.

Axel must have seen his reaction, “Do ya know what this ice cream’s called, Roxas?” Roxas didn’t answer, he was focused on eating the ice cream in his hands, but he didn’t know anyway. “It’s my favorite flavor, Sea Salt. Sea Salt Ice cream. Make sure to get that memorized.” Glancing over showed that Axel was once again tapping two fingers to his forehead and smirking. Sea Salt Ice cream...he supposed it reminded him of the ocean.

Before he knew it, the ice cream was gone and it was apparently time to leave. It was hard to tell because the sky was still shimmering with the haze of the sun’s mid-set, it lulled him to embrace the persistent grogginess he felt. Roxas just wanted to sleep, to be honest. Ice cream was just a bonus.

Roxas had almost forgotten about the mysterious man from the woods too... He had wanted Roxas to follow him somewhere, right? And now Axel was going to bring him to the gruff man from the mansion. He would rather stay on the clock tower.

It was a blur after that, really. He hadn’t paid enough attention to properly take in his surroundings. He’d gotten led through another portal by Axel... the short walk through the void this time led him somewhere dark. It was a place where there were countless stars that lit up the sky, and what looked like part of a heart-shaped moon shone down on a massive empty city.

He didn’t pay much mind to that though, other than when he looked at the moon. It seemed important, familiar, and foreign all at the same time, so Roxas tried to ignore it. He had enough trouble figuring out his own thoughts at the moment, he didn’t need to go worrying about the moon of all things, too.

Time passed by quickly after that, but he wasn’t sure how much or how fast it truly was. Roxas had been brought into a large, confusing grey castle where the high walls were not at all inviting like the ones in that twilight place he was at earlier. There was a large white circular room with many tall thrones he was brought to too, where people talked down at him. They told him to remember the number XIII. They told him about the Keyblade too, but he was certain he knew about that already.

He had been brought to a small bedroom too and was told it was his. One of those black coats he had seen the people wear was resting folded on the bed. Looking in the closet showed there were two more identical sets. They were all perfectly sized.

He didn’t remember if he was told to wear it, but he put it on anyway at some point. He did recall, though, that he had discarded the black undershirts that had come with the coat and shoved them to the back of the closet. He’d kept on the sleeveless shirt he woke up with...if only for the star pendant.

That was the only real thing he remembered during this hazy time.

Roxas didn’t know how much time had passed while he waited around in the room...all he knew is that he had been tired and slept several times before he had begun to finally feel more rested. Before long, the haze that had been hanging around his head finally started to abate.

__---__------_____--_-_--_-

Chapter Text

DAY 7:

_--_--_---____-

It had been just like waking up on any other morning. Sora lay on the bed, wanting nothing more than to stay buried in it, rather than being forced to get up and get ready for school by his mother. Or when Riku would inevitably barge into his room and pull him forcefully out of bed and onto his floor so that they could head out for a long day in the sun.

Surely Sora had overslept if he had time to think about it, Riku should have already been shoving him over by now. It felt like the middle of the afternoon, possibly later.

No. That wasn’t completely right. It definitely was late in the day, but...too much had happened since the last time he had had a carefree Summer day at Destiny Islands. Let alone a normal school day.

Realization hit Sora harder than anything any heartless had ever thrown at him. It caused him to sit up in his bed very fast, and throw the blankets off of himself. It was a surprise he didn't fall completely out of bed.

Destiny Islands had fallen to Darkness. It had been destroyed.

And Riku...he had succumbed to the darkness as well in order to find and save Kairi, and try to satiate whatever bug had gotten him to risk everything to explore the worlds. Sora had had the same bug...but Riku’s infatuation with it was much greater than his own, but Sora would follow Riku into the end of the world with open arms. Well, technically he did, but not in the sense that he would have thought of or would have wanted.

Right...and he had blamed Sora for not trying hard enough for Kairi, and for moving on and making new friends. Now, that was hardly fair, but Riku had been hurt too. It ended up with not only Maleficent using him, but it had invited Ansem to possess him.

Where...where was Riku now? And why wasn’t Sora out there looking for him, trying to free him from the Seeker of Darkness? Here he was lying down in bed, fully rested. Sure his chest was still sore and ached but...

Kairi. Sora had woken his friend's heart up after it had sought refuge beside his own, and she was okay. That, Sora knew had to be the truth.

The bed was forgotten and the blankets fully discarded to the- marble? - floor as he flipped his legs over the edge and began to look around his surroundings. With the Destiny Islands being gone, and the exact whereabouts of his friends unknown, he surely wasn’t home. If anything, he should be in the Gummiship or a tent with his other friends Donald and Goofy. Where were they?

Looking around only gave Sora the realization of something darker. Quite literally, really, for looking outside the window- which took up nearly the whole of the left wall -showed nothing but an endless starry night sky and a hollow city. He was now clearly in a world he’d never been to before. Neither the mage, nor knight, nor any of their belongings were in the room with Sora. And neither was Kairi.

That meant that Sora was alone.

There was something else...he had followed someone to this weird castle. And there were others here as well that expected Sora to be one of them. An organized group? A strange group of people, gauging by their similar outfits. Without needing to look down at himself, Sora knew that was wearing the same thing, only without the larger coat, for that was lying across the end of the bed.

Well, sitting in bed wasn’t going to help anyone. Sora had learned to hate just sitting around when there was stuff he could be doing, especially when it came to being with his friends. He had had to learn that fast while traveling.

The bed wasn’t very high from the ground, so getting up off of it wasn’t a challenge even with his weary chest, and Sora stood...

Wait a moment.

The people of this ‘organization’ - they had called it - had called him Roxas, not Sora. That was his name now, the gruff leader guy had told him that Roxas was the name he now owned. Now he felt rather foolish for forgetting such a crucial thing. The man had been quite certain, and Roxas knew he had to remember that...and the number XIII. That was who he was now, right?

He was Roxas, the thirteenth member of the Organization. Yup, that sounded right.

Not that he knew what the Organization did, or how he got himself to get tied up with it. Nor, admittedly, where it was that he was or what world he was in. Gosh, that haze had to have been very heavy...Roxas didn't think he would have offered to join a group he didn’t know about if he had been in the right mind. Well... he knew that wasn’t entirely true. If it was in an effort to see Riku or Kairi again, then he definitely would have, and that was probably how he got here.

If only he could remember...

Well, whatever. Roxas decided he would leave his room and see if he could talk to one of the other members about what he should do now that that darned haze had finally lifted. The boots and gloves that belonged to his clothing had been left at the foot of the bed near the coat, and it was rather easy and quick to slip them back on and make his way around the bed to cross the room. He felt stiff...probably from all the sitting around he’d most likely been doing when he was too groggy to do anything else.

He didn’t know why he felt so hollow, though.

Roxas didn’t bother making the bed. He never used to do it, and he wasn’t going to start that habit now. He did shut the closet, however, after tucking away the clothes he had first woken up with in the corner of the opening. Losing them was something he definitely wanted to avoid, even if he’d never seen them before waking up. They were his and he wasn’t about to drop something he could hold on to as his own.

Everything else seemed too...fragile, in a way. Like he had to hold onto a piece of himself, which was weird, but Roxas knew that holding onto memories was a heart’s way of connecting to things like friendship, other people, and many other things. It was almost as if he were compensating the clothes for that connection.

So Roxas didn’t know why he was being so possessive over them.

The vaguely star-shaped pendant under his coat called for his hand once again, though he could only barely feel it through the leather gloves and the coat that buffered him from it. When he finally found a chance, Roxas was going to go out and look for his crown. It had been a gift from Riku when they were little, and he'd never taken it off since. Well, other than to replace the chain after it broke once. He’d get the necklace back, he had to.

The door slid closed behind him quietly, and his soft footsteps sounded like they could have been thunderclaps with how empty and still the spacious hallways were. If he were honest with himself, he had no clue which direction he should head in, and he soon lost count of how many times he had turned left or right.

Did the Organization he had joined not want its members to know where they were going? That seemed... counterproductive. Roxas let out a small laugh at that one, there was humor in the oddness of the concept, and he just couldn’t help himself. They didn't seem very...organized. Heh.

Still chuckling to himself, he finally came across a large circular room with not only people actively lounging in it, but it looked like one that was used frequently and by everyone. Very comfortable, at least more than everything else he had seen, with several short couches and tables set up throughout the room. They were all the same grey and white color scheme… didn’t that get boring after a while? It’s like these people didn’t understand the concept of “color”.

Aside from the couches and tables, there was no further furniture, just like the rest of the...castle. The entire outside wall was a window that showed an excellent view of the weird half-filled-in heart-shaped moon he had seen from his own window and the neon-filled city below them. He still didn’t understand why he was so curious about the moon, either, but he had to figure out why he was here before he contemplated the moon.

There was one figure in the middle of the room standing, staring out the window and at the moon...he looked busy. Too busy contemplating the moon himself. Good, he would leave him to it then, even if the blue-haired man was kind of weird for doing so. Roxas didn’t really want to bother that blue-haired man yet, he had a feeling he was someone Roxas had to look up to. He didn’t want to get on the bad side of someone like that, whether it was true or not.

On one of the couches located on the right side of the room, there sat a blonde and bored-looking woman. He contemplated approaching her to figure out what was up, but she must have heard him enter or felt his gaze because she shot him a very disgusted look over her shoulder. Roxas then decided he didn’t want to talk to the mean blonde lady after all. Now, or really at all. In fact, Roxas almost wanted to stick his tongue out at her and make a dumb face to prove this thought but held his tongue in case she saw him. Darn.

And thus he turned his attention to the other group of couches on the leftmost part of the room. There was another lone figure lounging comfortably on one of the couches, arm draped over the edge, and legs outstretched to rest on the table. He was tall, and definitely an older man judging by the long grey and dark hair tied back in a ponytail. Most interestingly on the man’s face was the eyepatch concealing his right eye, and a huge and rather nasty looking scar that ran like a wedge on his left cheek and made Roxas wince. He couldn't help but trace one of his hands across his own cheek absentmindedly. That scar really didn’t look fun.

The man must have seen this, for he waved Roxas over. He stared rather dumbly at the man while his hand slowly fell from his cheek, before shaking his head to rid the thoughts of the scar. Then he nodded to the stranger with the ponytail. He knew someone with a scar across his face almost like that...from Traverse Town, right? Leon! This certainly wasn't Leon.

The man’s one golden eye crinkled along with his fleeting fake smile. “Afternoon, Roxas. Welcome to the program, as they say.” The scarred man’s head lolled back on the edge of the couch once more, waving a hand lazily behind him. “Looks like ya finally came to your senses, and just in time for your first big ol’ important meeting! Wow, good for you. But,” he made a tching sound, “-if you’re comin’ to me ‘bout that, you’ve got the wrong guy. I don’t take in stray puppies. As if. Go talk to Axel over there, he’s the one who watches the strays.” The man, whom Roxas still didn’t know the name of, closed his eye and didn’t make to say anything else.

“Oh, uh yeah! Noted!” Roxas blinked but smiled anyway with a small salute. Not that the man was looking. He liked giving smiles because it usually just felt nice to do so, even if he didn’t feel it now talking to the man with the eyepatch. Riku used to tease him for his endless smiles all the time, lightheartedly of course, because Riku also said he loved Sora’s smile. So Roxas naturally purposely gave them to Riku more than normal.

Wait… “Uh, Important meeting?” Roxas questioned louder, glossing over the fact that the man had just told him not to question him about it, but instead told him to go find Axel. Roxas didn't...really remember who Axel was though, and he really was curious. Just how important was the meeting that this man was talking about? “There’s a meeting? For what?”

The man, for all that it was worth, barked a dry and hollow laugh and flicked his wrist across the room. Roxas’s gaze followed the motion to the wall, where a figure was leaning against the glass in the left-hand corner of the room where Roxas had failed to notice. That was...Axel, right? He looked very bored and alone over there.

Roxas suddenly wanted to talk to Axel instead, recognizing him from somewhere. He left the man on the couch without another word and approached the tall redhead from the side. Roxas didn’t say anything, but he seemed to have been expecting Roxas to seek him out. Axel...was the one who gave him the tour, he thought he recalled that.

Axel turned in his direction as soon as Roxas approached him with loud steps. He immediately huffed and smirked at the boy. “Heya Roxas, ya finally done being a zombie? Good, I was half expecting you to start fallin’ over with all those blank looks you were giving everything.” To emphasize his point Axel waved one of his hands in front of Roxas’s face. Roxas couldn't fight the urge to roll his eyes at this. “See! All better.”

Roxas’s smile faded soon after and he furrowed his brow. “I heard there was a...meeting? An important one. Whuh...uh, what do I do about that?” He crossed his arms in thought and looked off to the couches he had come from. “That man over there said to talk to you about it. Something about not wanting a stray puppy to look after.” Roxas pouted and looked back to Axel and mumbled. “I’m not a stray puppy.”

“Sure you aren’t, man,” he said, and made a hand motion in the man’s direction, “But don’t worry ‘bout lil ol’ Xigbar over there... ” Axel’s eyes widened for just a moment and then he hunched his back and sighed a bit exaggeratedly. “Oh, but you’re right about the meeting though. Blegh, meetings.” He muttered, but then turned his sights to Roxas once more and rested one of his large hands on Roxas’s head and nudged it. Roxas rubbed his forehead but didn’t voice objections to the fact he was just shoved in the head. It was so similar to what Riku always did to him that he didn’t mind at all. Even if the hand was so large it almost covered his whole head.

Axel straightened his back once more and folded his arms. “Eh, don’t worry about it too much, Rox, don’t think it’s that important of a meeting anyway. But we might want to head to the Round Room in the Place Where Nothing Gathers right about now. Bossman doesn’t like to be kept waiting, and heh, I’ve been late enough times as it is.”

Roxas wasn’t sure he liked that nickname; heck, he wasn’t sure he really liked his name in general yet either, but he would ignore it for now. He’d just have to come up with a nickname for Axel as payback for the next time he gets called that. That would show him. But the meeting… “The Round Room? Place Where Nothing- what?” Roxas asked. He assumed it was somewhere in this confusing castle, but he certainly didn’t know how to get to it. Axel just nodded but said nothing more. Very helpful.

Roxas waited for more information, or at least a destination because otherwise, he was going to just find it himself. But Axel was staring at him expectantly. What, was Roxas supposed to know where it was? He just woke up, for crying out loud, finally getting over that dumb haze, and now Axel was clearly waiting for him to do something.

Axel still had his arms crossed, and he raised an eyebrow in exasperation. “Lemme guess, you don’t know how to use the dark corridors, do you?” Roxas squinted at him, clearly giving Axel his answer. “Guh, whatever, that’s fine. We did tell you how to do it, but you were so zoned out, I’m not surprised. Anyway, it’s easier to get to our seats in the Round Room if you use one of these bad boys to get to your chair. No one likes waiting for their chair to lower or raise, just takes too long.” He sighed and waved his hand out towards the corner of the room and flicked his hand. One of those dark swirling portals materialized at the movement and sputtered quietly at them

Right, right, Roxas had definitely seen these before, they seemed quite normal to him now, if he were honest with himself. Should that surprise him? But, apparently...Roxas could make them too? “I can make those things appear too? That’s so cool!” His head shot up to Axel, “How do I do it?”

Two things came up with that notion. One; Roxas knew it was a connection to the darkness but did not find it in him to mind it that much. Which was odd...but it didn’t feel as wrong as it had before. And two; if he could create...whatever these things were, then he could go out and look for his friends!

Axel made a ‘tsk tsk’ noise and put an arm in front of Roxas to halt him in his tracks. “Easy there, kiddo, you’re not off to the races just yet.” he lowered his arm again and rested it on his hip instead. “Only use it to get to your chair and back for today, jeez. Just...I dunno, just will it into creation. Tell the darkness to open a corridor and boom. You’re in the Round Room on chair number XIII with the rest of us.” Axel gestured from his dark corridor and then to Roxas himself. “Knock your socks off, kid.” He smirked as if the explanation was actually helpful.

When Roxas nodded with an admittedly blank look on his face, Axel shrugged and stepped closer to his own corridor. “Hey, if it helps, just try to focus on the darkness like you do with that little key-sword of light I know you got. Light. Darkness. Same old same old for Nobodies like us.” With one last flippant wave of his hand over his shoulder, Axel was gone and his corridor collapsed on itself behind him.

Light? Darkness? Nobodies?

--___-_--___--___--

Turns out, dark corridors weren’t that hard to manifest, but they definitely took some effort to control.

Calling upon the darkness, a very barebones and casual summon of it, was just as Axel had said. Almost as easy and effortless as summoning his Keyblade. Which he had done a couple of times on the spot to get a feel for calling on the light like that again. Kingdom Key came to him easily, as if it were eager to be back in his grip, but it seemed hazy at first, becoming clear by the third time he summoned it. Thankfully.

The darkness was harder to call upon, sure, but not by much. Roxas definitely still preferred light, though. As far as he was concerned, he didn’t plan to call on it other than to open corridors for small trips like this. He didn’t...want to use the icky stuff more than he needed to, even if it was pretty cool to be able to without hurting himself or anything bad happening. He didn’t know why that was, though.

Roxas had used the admittedly weak corridor that he had summoned to get to his very high seat, and was just in time to see what looked like all of the other members of the Organization appear in their own even taller chairs. Chair number I, though had already been occupied by a powerful force that Roxas recognized and was thoroughly intimidated by.

The leader of the Organization. Xemnas.

-

There were a couple of things that Roxas learned during this important meeting.

The first thing he learned was that the meeting really wasn’t that important after all. Xigbar had told him it was important but had failed to mention that it was important only because it was Roxas’s first one. All the meeting did was properly introduce him to the rest of the group...but half of them didn’t even look interested in the fact that Roxas was there at all. It also served as a personal check-in on the progress the other members had been making on their missions. Though, Roxas didn’t get a chance to talk.

The second thing that he noticed was that he had joined a cult.

A cult.

Roxas didn’t know much about cults, and that was something he was fine with. But, if there was one universal truth about cults, it was that there was no running from it once you were a part of it. Roxas had only ever heard of them before since there really wasn’t anything like that on the small system of islands he grew up on, but if the real deal were anything like they were in fiction, then this couldn't be good.

How’d he get wrapped in this anyway? He supposed he really was acting like a zombie if he couldn’t remember how he even got here.

Roxas had sat on his bed the rest of the...evening- it was hard to tell because the sky was always black and filled with stars. He hadn’t known what else to do, really, and as much as he usually didn’t care for alone time, after everything that had happened recently with...well everything, it was nice to have a moment of privacy.

Especially after the full day of the members of the organization all talking loudly to each other in the common areas, and then later during their dinner. Roxas had kind of just...been there, not knowing where to go or what to say. Axel came up to him and told him he could leave at any time after they had eaten, and he quickly took that as an escape to go to his room. After he spent fifteen minutes trying to find it, that is. He’d ended up giving in and using one of those ‘dark corridor’ things to finally get to his room. He’d really have to map out the castle from his room eventually.

As he sat on his unmade bed his eyes kept getting drawn to the black notebook with the white emblem that he had seen all over the castle, his room, and even on his own bed frame emblazoned on the top of the leather-bound cover.

It...wouldn’t hurt to write in it, Roxas relented finally, so he shifted to grab the journal off the end of the bed, and grabbed the pen he was given from the small table beside the frame. Roxas decided to sit on the floor and rest his back against the bed frame and pulled up his knees to rest the journal on them.

The blue-haired man, who Roxas had learned was Saix and one of the higher power members of the Organization had given the book and pen to him. When they all had reconvened in the Grey Area- the lounging room - after the meeting, Saix had approached Roxas with a stern expression on his face. He had told Roxas to do whatever he wanted with it, but suggested writing about his days, though Roxas couldn't fathom why. The man had been adamant about it, and Roxas did have some things to think about, so he picked up the pen and brought it to the first empty page at the beginning and tapped the pen against it until he thought of where to start.

---------
DAY 7:

“It’s been a week since I got here apparently, in the castle with the Organization (in a cult?). Saix gave me this journal today after the not-so-important meeting and told me to keep track of what goes on during my days. I don’t know why, but he said no one would dare check it so I can write whatever I want in it. I’m not sure what to write, so I’ll probably just talk about my day or whatever like he said. I think he still views me as a ‘zombie’. Most of the other members seem to too, but considering I don’t remember the past week I guess don’t blame them.”
---------

It seemed like a lame way to wrap up his day, but he didn’t feel like he could say anything else, so he folded the book closed again and set it into the small drawer in his bedside table. The boots were left discarded at the end of the bed again as was the coat and gloves when Roxas figured he should at least try to sleep.

Though in reality, it really wasn’t that hard. Roxas loved to sleep.

_---_-___-___---

Chapter Text

DAY 8:

-__----____--_-

Morning came way too fast for Sora, like it usually did. But at least it was morning this time, and not the middle of the freaking afternoon again.

He expected to feel well-rested but the ache in his chest was still thrumming just as strong as the day before. Man. hopefully that would go away soon, and he’d finally feel better.

Sora glanced out the window again for a moment, before deciding to get up. He lingered at the window before yawning loudly and rubbing his eyes to get the leftover sleepiness out of them. There thankfully was a bathroom connected to each of the bedrooms in the castle, apparently- that way he didn’t need to try and find one -so he went in to splash cold water on his face to help wake himself up more. He was about to leave and collect the coat to start finding where he needed to go, but something stopped him. His reflection in the mirror...that wasn’t his face, was it? Or maybe it was his hair that didn’t seem like his? Something didn’t seem right, but Sora genuinely wasn’t sure if he was just making things up, so he shrugged at himself in the mirror and made his way back to his bed. He noticed it the day before too though...

He reached out for the coat splayed over the end frame. It would probably be better for Sora to get to the Gray Area sooner than later. Saix told him he had to be earlier today.

The bed, once again left a mess, caused him to smile at it as he left the room. Something about the gesture was comforting. A messy bed? Definitely still Sora, despite the new name he had been given.

Oh. He really did need to get his new name memorized, as Axel had put it...he had to keep reminding himself that he was Roxas now.

Now to find the Grey Area again...mhm, which direction was it again?

This time it didn’t take as long to find where he was looking for. A few of those weird squiggly white creatures he’d seen around the castle helped him find his way so that was nice. They did freak him out a bit at first though, but they were definitely helpful with what they had to say.

Axel and Saix were in the Grey Area already when Roxas stepped into the room. As soon as he came within earshot he got called over harshly by Saix... he seemed mildly irritated, and Roxas wondered if that was just his default expression. He’d yet to see the guy look any different than indifferent mocking. That x-shaped scar on Saix's face kept catching his eye too. It looked almost nastier than Xigbar’s cheek scar, and Roxas kept having to tell himself not to stare at it.

Averting his eyes from Saix, Roxas’s eyes trailed to the window behind him, his eyes resting on his own reflection once more. Something definitely wasn’t right. What was up with his reflection? It was different than what he was supposed to look like, right?

“Roxas,” Saix’s deep and unexpected voice drew his attention immediately, his eyes shooting back up to the blue-haired man, “your work begins today. I will issue missions to you, which the organization expects you to carry out.” Saix droned, looking at Roxas expectantly. “You will report to me each morning to receive them, and upon your return, you are expected to write a report on your progress and success and return it to me.”

Roxas glanced to the clipboard Saix was holding, and looked back, not knowing what to say. What was he saying? Missions?

Saix nodded and, unamused with the lack of response, continued, “Think of these early missions as... exercises . You still have much to learn before you’re anywhere close enough for us to put you to a real test.” Was that an insult to his skill? He was a hero! Well, Goofy’s happy tone reminded him in his head, they were still Junior Heroes. But that was close enough in his book! The three of them had saved like 7 worlds and a space whale from the Heartless. Whatever Phil said was just him being a stink.

Roxas made a face at the man in his distaste, “Wha? What’s that supposed to mean?” Roxas exclaimed. “Pardon me, but I think I’m already pretty good with my Keyblade!” But then the silencing look that he received in response made him stop abruptly and rub at the back of his neck...oh would you look at that? The floor was suddenly very interesting.

“Oh, I, uh...sorry, I guess I could...do that. Oh!” He blinked, remembering that the floor wasn’t actually interesting anymore, “I’ll use the missions to prove it to you!” His arm lowered from his neck and he held it in a fist in front of himself with a determined smile on his face. He...admittedly wasn’t really in it and it quickly faded.

Dummy, that’s what the man meant by the early missions anyway ! But Roxas had to go and blab his big mouth again. He really had a nasty habit of digging holes for himself verbally, but usually, his company appreciated it. He didn’t think Saix did, though.

“Right. If you’re quite done , Roxas, then you should be off. Axel will be joining you your first time out.” Saix glanced over his shoulder towards the window once more to where Axel was leaning. “Isn’t that right, Axel?” His voice held a bit of a knowing edge to it that Roxas couldn’t place.

With an indignant sounding noise, Axel uncrossed his arms, “What? Oh boy, you’re making me the kid’s mentor now?” It almost sounded like a friendly jab. Friendly? Hmmm, Roxas liked the idea of Axel being his friend.

Though Roxas didn’t hear the rest of the short conversation or notice when Saix walked away, he quickly forced a large smile on his face. “Woah, woah, now kid, yeesh. It’s just a practice mission. Just me, tellin’ you what to do, and you doing it. Easy peasy.” Axel muttered.

The half-formed smile slid off his face as he nodded to the dark corridor that Saix had made to their mission destination. Or maybe Axel had made it, Roxas hadn’t been paying attention. “If it’s that easy and boring, then let’s make the most of it.” Was Roxas trying too hard? He had wanted to sound excited, but he just couldn’t quite grasp onto the feeling himself, and it sounded much more flat than intended. He rubbed the back of his head, then shuffled over to the portal.

What was up with him? It felt as though he were trying too hard with everything he’s said so far this morning.

Axel did follow, but not before muttering, “Man, what happened to being a zombie? Kid’s really a ball of energy now...what’s a Nobody got with forcing energy like that anyway? And what’s a Nobody like me gotta deal with it? Gee.”

Why does Axel keep calling both of them Nobodies? Wasn’t that kind of rude?

--_---_-_----____--

In hindsight maybe it wasn’t the best idea to walk blindly into a dark corridor not knowing where exactly it led, but Axel soon came to take charge. Roxas took a moment to look around, to find an ordinary underground...area. It wasn’t particularly special, or remotely threatening due to the bright orange lighting and large numbered walls. A little claustrophobic maybe, but not uninviting.

There was...nothing there. Axel cracked his knuckles and looked around as well. “Erm… what’re we supposed to do on missions, Axel?” Roxas questioned.

“Well, you...um, usually there’s a briefing or...I dunno, a brief synopsis of…” Axel scratched his chin and trailed off. But then he grimaced and slumped his shoulders, “This one’s a bit vague, and you know what? Talking is dumb. Let’s just go. Probably some Heartless somewhere in these tunnels you could slash with that key thing of yours. Bit hungry too, so get slashing on those Emblem brats. Just make sure to leave some Purebloods for me too though, can’t have you hoggin all of them, you know.”

He...eats heartless? You can do that?! Did he expect Roxas to eat them too? That sounded disgusting, but why didn’t he hate that idea though!? He’d have to evaluate that thought later.

Woah, wait, Heartless ? There were still Heartless around?

Oh, that’s right! He’d never actually got to seal the keyhole in Hollow Bastion with Donald and Goofy! That would mean that the Heartless were still at large...how could he forget something like that?! And he had left both of them and Kairi there with the Heartless. And he didn’t even know about what had happened to Riku. How could he just leave them like that?

But he didn’t know how to get to Hollow Bastion right now. He didn’t have the Gummiship, the time, or...man that wouldn’t really work anyway.

Shouldn’t he be more worried about this? But...

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to...start getting rid of the Heartless that were here. And then work his way up? Along the way, he was bound to find Riku, Kairi, Donald, and Goofy, and at least make sure they were okay. Maybe Leon and the others too. And then he would figure out what exactly to do about his position in the Organization, which he was still pretty convinced was a cult. Whether or not that was a bad thing or not was strictly undecided. So far, it wasn’t bad, and who knew, maybe he’d enjoy it?

Roxas responded nonverbally to Axel by summoning Kingdom Key and jumping up the platforms into the main area of the tunnels. The redhead followed suit. The tunnels were a bit of a maze, the Heartless appearing in random places. There were the large painted numbers on the walls and arrows accompanying them for further guidance if necessary, but Roxas wasn’t paying attention to anything but the Heartless. Why'd he need to pay attention to where he was going if he was just gonna get distracted by Heartless?

He also decided to not watch Axel as he disintegrated and...ate like three Shadows. He decided to further ignore his own hunger. He didn’t want to contemplate the idea of eating...Heartless, he’d pass, thanks.

The monsters that manifested themselves were in small groups only ever getting so big as a Creeper Plant or a Requiem of some kind, but it mostly consisted of Shadows. Easy stuff, but for some reason he was struggling more than he should have been. Was his lack of power due to that week of grogginess? He’d need to regain his strength from the beginning!?

At least he had Axel helping him, he’d just have to build strength as fast as he could! Prove he knew what he was doing. Especially if he was ever going to go out and look for Hollow Bastion again. Couldn’t be too hard, right?

Mindlessly chopping through Heartless though, even with his strength considered, was what he was unfortunately very used to doing lately. If he had access to getting rid of the Heartless like before, then he’d catch his strength back up in no time.

“There ya go, nice job!” Axel told him after they finished dispatching what looked like the last group of Heartless for the time being. Roxas was about to thank him, but he continued, “But don’t go thinking you can just run and jump your way through every mission, Roxas.”

“Oh, but that’s what I do best, Axel! Usually works out just fine.” Roxas dispelled his Keyblade and crossed his arms behind his head in a comfortable manner. He leaned back to hold most of his weight on one leg.

Axel shook his head, “Don’t think so, buddy, after all you’re here in the organization aren’t ya?” Roxas didn’t have time to contemplate that before he yelled “You’ve got to BE AWARE!!” The fiery redhead bent down and exclaimed with a dramatic swinging of his arms. Roxas’s arms fell slowly from behind his head.

“What...what do you mean by that?”

Axel rested his hand on Roxas’s head again and gestured to the tunnels around them, this time the teen decided to actually push the hand off of his head. At this rate the redhead seemed like he really wanted to mess up Roxas’s hair spikes on purpose, so he took one of his own gloved hands and ran it through the mess in a futile attempt to ‘fix’ it.

“What I mean is that you hafta look around sometimes, Rox. Take in your surroundings, not just rush through things. Sometimes what you’re lookin’ for’ll be right under your nose. Got that memorized?” Once again, Axel pointed a finger to his temple. He really liked doing that, didn’t he?

“Y-yeah that makes sense…” Busted. Roxas was never good at finding secrets, usually, it was Goofy who noticed those things, being exceptionally observant of their surroundings. After all, he and Axel had already combed through a good part of the tunnels already, and Roxas hadn’t been looking out for any chest or secret. If they had already passed something like that, he wasn’t sure.

“Great, so let's take a little road test, then, shall we? There’s a chest hidden somewhere in these passageways, and I want you to find it. Now lead the way, kid, and don’t hurt yourself tryin’.” He rested his hands on Roxas’s back and lightly shoved him forward. Right, okay, finding one chest wasn’t hard. Axel was touchy, he found. Roxas could be like that too sometimes, but only with people he really knew.

Finding the chest only took a few sweeps of the hallways, thankfully, the prize rested in front of a blocked-off grate. Wasting no time in opening it, Roxas pulled out the potion that was hidden inside of it and looked at Axel questioningly. “Yeah, you can keep all the spoils, bud. Now, all we hafta do is RTC.” The tall redhead gave him thumbs up and a wink.

“RTC? What’s that mean?” Roxas asked as he shoved his newly earned potion hastily into his pocket.

“Oh, you know, RTC. ‘Return To the Castle’. All that jazz.”

Was that all that was expected of him to do for a mission? That was it? Roxas grumbled under his breath, “I could have done that with my eyes closed…”

Axel scoffed. He had seemingly heard the retort. “Well, you didn’t. But okay smart ass, you’re coming with me for a little icing on the cake before we RCT then. Because you did such a good job finding that chest.”

The icing on the cake sounded oddly familiar, and Roxas heard the friendly tease in the older man’s voice, so he let the ‘smart ass’ comment slide too. “Um. Aren’t we supposed to report back right away? Saix seemed so...grumpy about it.”

“Later. Don’t you remember our hangout?” In fact, Roxas did not. But that didn’t stop him from following Axel out of the tunnels regardless. The town the two of them walked through was beautiful with a lazy haze blanketing each and every one of the red and orange buildings, and a sky so bright a mix of orange, red, and pink that it almost danced like fire.

Had Roxas been here before? He didn’t think so.

Axel told him to wait while he popped into a shop on the edge of what looked like one of the more populated areas, though with the lazy and comfortable haze he didn’t see too many people about, most likely enjoying their time doing whatever it was that people did here.

The town was calm and comfortable.

And so was the top of the clock tower above the train station where Axel led him. They used the rickety stairs to get up there, which was rather tiring.

Even being as high up as it was it was such a relaxing place, Roxas couldn’t help but lose himself to the view. It had to be one of the most beautiful things Roxas had ever seen, and he’d seen a lot of pretty stuff on the many worlds he’d been to.

The ice cream that Axel had gotten for the both of them, Sea Salt as Axel had reminded him, was tastier than anything he’d had before. He thought, at least.

The redhead was adamant that a week ago they had both been up here with ice cream just like this. The icing on the cake to commemorate him for joining the Organization apparently. He was called a Zombie again for this, just like he was for most things. Roxas didn't remember being up here with Axel last week, but he was glad that Axel brought him back up here.

Axel was nice company, and Roxas enjoyed the comfortable silence that settled around them. Until he broke it, of course. He did rather enjoy talking, especially when he had a new friend to entertain. Axel seemed to disagree, but he had to be bluffing, Roxas would argue the point that he did enjoy Roxas’s company. And he did argue it. Why else would he take him up to their ‘hangout’ as he had put it?

Roxas was almost uncharacteristically excited to write about his day in that journal too, skipping through dinner and uninterested glances from the other organization members. If only he had ever been this excited to write anything for school, but hey this was different. He didn’t enjoy writing the mission report though and had trouble coming up with something fulfilling to say for ‘I found the chest’, but settled for writing just that. Saix looked unamused, but he seems like a huge stick in the mud. Seems like his assumption that Saix’s default mood was grumpy was right.

---------

DAY 8:

“I went on my first mission today. Thankfully it was with Axel and not one of the other members. I don’t think they like me very much, but I hope to change that if I can! They keep throwing around the term ‘nobody’ as well, that doesn't seem very nice either. Doesn't seem like they're just calling me that, though.

Axel took me up to the top of the clock tower in Twilight Town after our mission and we had ice cream. He said it was called Sea Salt ice cream, and it has to be my new favorite flavor. It... really reminds me of the islands. Also, apparently, Axel had brought me up there for the same thing when I first joined the organization a week ago? I don’t remember that.”

---------

--__--____-_-

Chapter Text

DAY 9:

-_-----___--_-

The ache in his chest was what woke him up the next morning. It was always worse in the morning, it seemed, waking up felt hollow, even though he knew the missions were just to probably get rid of more Heartless. It’s not like it was actually boring work, but it wasn’t enough to pick him up.

This day brought up a few things to Roxas. There was definitely something up with his reflection. The only conclusion he could come to was that maybe he was still seeing things. Or, maybe he really did look different, but he couldn’t fathom why that would be. Didn’t his voice use to sound different too? It was close enough, and maybe he was still making things up so he dropped the thought again. Maybe he should ask Axel about it...

Another thing was that he seriously had to stop forgetting his new name. Though now at this point ‘Roxas’ was beginning to sound more like his name than ‘Sora’ ever did, so he’d get over this. He wasn’t sure if that was a bad thing or a good thing. But he did wonder why Xemnas told him his name was Roxas now, and to drop his real name as it had never been his at all. He had liked his name before.

One of the bigger things that he learned that day, his 9th day in the Organization, was when he got assigned a mission with one of the younger members of the Organization, Zexion. Zexion wasn’t too much older than Roxas himself was, maybe, but he certainly was a lot more serious. A real stickler, actually. And unfortunately, he proved what Axel had said the day before...about being AWARE, though the older teen with dramatically fringed silver hair was much less ‘yell-y’ about it. Shame, it would have given Roxas something to lighten the boring mood. He yawned through practically the whole thing when he wasn’t being made fun of for not ‘using his brain cells.

Missions were more than just finding one chest and beating up Heartless. Apparently, there were many assignments that were literally going to a new world (the fun part) or a familiar world and just...looking around. Reconnaissance. Paying attention to the surroundings, deductive reasoning (?) and other things like that, and then RTC to report what was found. Zexion was really thorough too and made sure that Roxas took notice of everything in Twilight Town. At least he had the name for that pretty town with the clock tower now! But...scrutinizing the Hell out of it wasn’t fun, and Zexion didn’t alleviate that. Especially when he had ‘helped’ Roxas write his mission report for Saix after they had RTC. Did he really have to include every little thing they saw?

There were a lot of Heartless as well, and Zexion seemed pleased when Roxas went out of his way to destroy every one of them. Roxas was trying to gain his strength back, after all. Zexion mentioned that he should try to go up and beyond with destroying Heartless like that whenever he could. Sure, he could try to do that...

Oh, probably the biggest thing he learned on his 9th day was why every once in a while he heard the term ‘Nobody’ being said in regards to himself or the other members as a whole. Also towards the weird wiggly creatures that hung around the castle and other members. All of them, the creatures, the members, Roxas himself, were all Nobodies.

And not just a rude term. They were actually Nobodies, with a capital ‘N’. Beings without hearts. Empty bodies with no emotion.

Born when a person loses their heart to the Heartless. Their hearts get consumed, and if they had strong enough willpower then their leftover soul and bodies start to act with a will of their own. With No Heart. Husks.

Roxas had tried to ask what it meant...how could you live and breathe if you had no heart? A heart is what made a person, it was their very being, so how could you just...not have one? The only answer he got for this was that Nobodies shouldn’t exist, or maybe they really don’t exist at all. That...was an unsatisfying answer. They were both standing there in Twilight Town together, weren’t they? And even if neither of them had hearts, it still seemed like they actually exist.

At least he did get a proper explanation of the differences between the wiggly creatures and the organization members. The wiggly creatures, the most common ones were called ‘Dusks’ (those were the main ones that helped in the castle, apparently), are what’s known as ‘Lesser Nobodies’. The members of the Organization, like Roxas, were all ‘Higher Nobodies’, that came from people with very strong wills that were able to keep their human appearance, speech, and full intelligence.

There were forms of Middle-tier Nobodies too, several different types that all apparently swore allegiance to one of the Organization’s members. Zexion explained that Roxas would be getting some charges himself soon enough...but did he want that? At least Zexion offered him an example, it seems like the Middle tier Nobodies called ‘Assassins’ all work under Axel, and that all of the members have a similar situation. What would Roxas’s ‘underlings (that term seemed harsh…)’ even be called anyway?

Why were they doing the missions and stuff anyway? What did it have to do with not having hearts?

Roxas had spent his time after the mission in the Grey Area thinking these things over. He had handed in his mission report to the folder outside Saix’s room and resigned himself to sitting on one of the empty couches. That was until Axel found him and dragged him back up to the Clock Tower in Twilight Town to give him a better atmosphere to think. And he bought ice cream for them again, which was very nice of him to grab.

They didn’t really talk that day on the tower while they ate, Roxas was too busy thinking about his situation. He really appreciated the gesture, even though how he now knew they were probably both forcing enjoyment. Well, even if that were the case, Roxas refused to think of it that way. So far, he had genuinely enjoyed the redhead’s company, so he was just gonna keep seeing it that way.

He knew that releasing his heart to free Kairi was a huge risk when he did it, one that he didn’t think through, past giving Kairi her own heart back...but he didn’t expect to be as he was now. Of course he felt empty and his chest ached, he didn’t have his heart! He didn’t have real emotions. Was he even the same person now? Still the same old Sora?

He supposed not, not now that he took on the name ‘Roxas’.

This didn’t sit well with him.

---------
DAY 9:
“Today I learned what it means to be a Nobody from Zexion after he taught me about recon. I don’t think I’ll ever be very good at that! And before today I thought they were just being rude. Who wants to be told they’re a nobody? Knowing what it really means makes me feel worse though...I don’t have my heart? I know I sacrificed it to save Kairi...but without my heart…

No wonder I’ve felt so empty.”
----------

-__-__---_-_-

DAY 10:

On Day 10 Roxas knew why they wanted him to defeat the Heartless so bad. He was told by Marluxia about why he, in particular, was special. Now, this wasn’t the first time he had been called special for having a Keyblade, but instead of being filled with pride, it felt...different. Roxas wasn’t sure why, but maybe it had to do with him not having a heart? This stuff was getting confusing...

Defeating Heartless released the hearts that they had taken. Defeating the Heartless by any normal means would cause more Heartless to manifest and take over the heart once again. But if they were destroyed by the Keyblade? It sent the hearts directly to Kingdom Hearts where the Heartless would be unable to overtake them again.

Xemnas, the Organization’s leader, wanted to recreate his own version of Kingdom Hearts that would listen to them...to give them all their hearts back. If Roxas helped and collected as many hearts as he could, then they had a chance at finding new hearts for themselves? Or was it that if he destroyed so many Heartless then he would at some point find the ones that contained the members’ hearts? Roxas wasn’t sure, but he did like the idea of getting his heart back, and the idea of getting rid of as many Heartless as possible. That was what he was doing in the first place by going around and locking the Keyholes of worlds like Deep Jungle, Olympus Coliseum, Atlantica, and the others Donald, Goofy, had visited with him.

-_--___---_-

DAY 11:

The day after that Roxas went on a mission with Larxene to ‘learn’ how to do magic. Two very big things were newly discovered on day 11… the first being one that he had already suspected, and that was that he really didn’t like Larxene. She made it apparent that she didn’t like him.

The other thing that he learned was that his magic had just...left him? The same way his strength did. He used to be really good at magic! Donald said he had taken it up very well, but...now he didn’t have access to like any of the spells he’d learned before. Fire was the only thing that would come to him at the moment. Granted he liked using Fire, it just wasn't something he wanted to only use. And he missed Firaga.

“Damn, if the Organization’s bettin’ all their munny on you and your wimpy keysword thing then we’re in some seriously deep shit…” She muttered, but definitely loud enough for Roxas to hear. “Good thing I have a backup plan…” This time it was almost too quiet for Roxas to decipher.

Larxene flicked Roxas’s forehead when she’d noticed his confused expression which meant he was clearly listening to her. “Oh, save it, kid, this stuff’s beyond you anyway. Look, I want you to defeat all the Heartless here without the Keyblade. See if you are actually competent using magic without it. Then we’ll see about letting you RTC, because I know I sure as Hell want to get out of here as soon as possible from this dumbass baby mission.”

Larxene had a dirtier mouth than Riku, and instead of making him laugh, it just made him uncomfortable. Not to mention she was being very rude. Hey, maybe there was a slight plus side to not feeling Emotions, because aside from hurting his pride a bit, he found he didn’t care and that it hadn’t stung in the way that Larxene had probably meant it to. All Roxas knew was that he wanted to avoid the blonde lady as much as possible after that.

-___--_--_-

DAY 12:

On day 12 Roxas went on a mission with Lexaeus in Twilight Town (again). He hadn’t been sure what the mission would be, not having actually been told when Saix had sent him out. He was hoping that Lexaeus would explain it to him when they arrived, but then again Roxas had never heard the behemoth of a man utter one word before in the like 3 times he’d ever even seen the man. And it didn’t look like he was gonna soon either.

“So...um?” Roxas started but stopped. Was that dumb of him to ask? He’d tell him what he needed to do eventually right?

Roxas stood beside Lexaeus, staring across the ‘Sandlot’ in Twilight Town, devoid of people, waiting to be told what he should be doing. He was beginning to think maybe he was supposed to walk around and figure it out himself. Maybe he just needed to clear the Heartless? Should he just-

A huge fist suddenly impacted with his gut, cutting off all trains of thought other than pain. The force of the attack sent Roxas sailing through the air until his spine collided with the brick wall of the building they had been standing...pretty far in front of.

Roxas fell forward onto his knees, wheezing and hugging his chest like his lungs were actually gonna fall out. Could they? His vision was dark with his eyes clenched tightly closed.

It took a moment for a coherent thought to return to him...what had hit him? He was still hugging his chest close but panickingly wrenched his eyes open to blink against the bright light when something big grabbed his back roughly. He was suddenly lifted off of his knees by the hood of his coat and shoved to his feet. He stumbled and swung out an arm to catch himself on something, anything.

His arm bumped harshly into the form that had placed him back on his feet, was that Lexaeus? Had he been the thing that hit Roxas? The man responded by scoffing and walking away, leaving Roxas to fight to stay upright by himself.

“Now that you’re on your last legs, go and fight the Heartless. In your own desperation, you can break your limits with your most powerful move. You can only use these while critically hurt, however. Go.” The man rumbled, which made Roxas’s head spin. He was huffing and tried to summon Kingdom Key...wait he was supposed to fight? Right Now?

The weapon came to him, the flash of light and warmth made him flinch back and he almost dropped it, but it stayed strong in his group. Okay, focus on the Keyblade. Focus. That’ll ground him.

While he had been dizzy with pain, which was still present by the way, a giant heartless had appeared in the Sandlot. Well, it wasn’t the largest Heartless he had seen by a long shot, and he didn’t know if his spinning head was messing with him because he thought it was a Shadow. A giant Shadow that looked like twice his height. Could they even get that big? What about Neo Shadows? He didn’t want to even imagine a giant Darkball or Invisible.

He felt one of those ginormous hands on his back again, and before he knew it he was shoved towards the giant Shadow. He stumbled forward and gripped Kingdom Key tightly, and focused on his grasp. Okay, he could fight a Shadow. He’d been knocked delirious before, so this should be nothing.

The blade of the weapon began to glow a bright blue the more he focused on it, and the feeling extended up to his arms to his chest. The dizziness abated, and clarity returned to him in a sharp focus on the Heartless and nothing else. He felt momentarily boosted in strength, as though his health and mana had been fully restored. Was it adrenaline, or did he use an elixir? No...it was coming from himself and extended into his blade.

Huh. That was new.

Using this boost to its full potential, he lunged at the Shadow. His feet left the ground as he released a flurry of sharp swings, faster than he should have been able to pull off at that moment. The blue glow of Kingdom Key and of himself extended with each swing that sliced right through the inky black of the Heartless like it were nothing.

Shadow was reduced to nothing in moments, it’s inky remains globbed into a puddle on the ground before it dispersed in the air. The hot ink dripped off of Roxas himself and he soon found himself dropping his Keyblade and resting his hands harshly against his knees. He panted...the pain and dizziness had returned as the strange power ebbed away, though it was considerably better than it had been. That move... was almost like using Ars Arcanum...but at the same time, very different. He didn’t know how to describe it.

A glass bottle was shoved into his face, the bubbly green liquid sloshing around. A potion. Roxas grabbed the potion out of the air in front of him selfishly and downed it in seconds. Immediately he felt better, the air rushing back into his lungs and his forming bruises beginning to fade away. Ah, that was much better. He still felt pretty gross though, a small headache pooling behind his eyes from the sudden stress.

“Well fought, number XIII.” Roxas’s head shot up, shaking his headache around his skull, to see Lexeaus looking down at him. That’s where the potion came from…

“That is what we call a ‘Limit Break’. You’re only able to use it when in desperation and as a last resort, but you shouldn’t rely on it. Organization members are often asked to conduct solo-missions. The only person you can rely on out here is yourself.”

Roxas huffed, “So I’ve noticed...Nngh...” Solo missions or not, apparently he couldn’t even trust an ally like Lexeaus not to try and strike him down. Was that the lesson to be gained here?

Although the potion had helped, his stomach still felt tight like it was trying to squeeze and crush every part of his body into the wisps of nothingness Nobody’s were made out of. Oh, wait, he knew what that was. Familiar in a way that was not comforting.

Lexaeus began to head back towards the Dark Corridor that had made to get here so that they could RTC, but Roxas had another plan. Or at least his body did. He hunched over and vomited. Hmm, wonder if that’s why you shouldn’t deck someone in the stomach and then make them fight. Lexaeus said nothing, but he did make a disgusted and possibly guilty noise as he waited for Roxas to join him by the Corridor.

------------------
DAYS 10-12:
“I went on some more missions with the other members of the Organization...I also can finally match their faces to their names- Larxene, Marluxia, and Lexaeus. They went over the basics of missions with me, but I already knew most of the action stuff because of my adventure with Donald and Goofy (wow!! I really miss that!). I did learn how to do a Limit Break from Lexaeus though! He taught me by punching me in the gut when I wasn't expecting it, so that sucked, but using the Limit Break was really cool. Too bad I threw up afterwards!!

I would like it, though, if they would stop treating me like a zombie. I stopped being like that like a week ago! Come on, give me a break! Well, actually, maybe it’s a good thing because they felt the need to dumb-down their explanations...which really helps actually. I now know what the heart-shaped moon was, and what the Organization’s main goal is. They need my help, because I'm one of the ‘Keyblade’s Chosen,’ to create a version of Kingdom Hearts to give us all our hearts back. That’s something I can agree on, but I still don’t know how that's gonna be actually done.“
-------------------

-__--___-___-

Chapter Text

--___--___--___-_

DAY 13:

Roxas was pretty sore from learning how to do a Limit Break when he woke up the next morning. Nothing the potion he’d gotten a while ago on that practice mission with Axel couldn’t fix. But, well, he was really hoping not to run into Lexaeus again. Today, or at all really- he hadn’t been expecting to get decked yesterday, and he honestly wasn’t sure if it would happen again. It wouldn't...right? It was just for a lesson...surely another member wouldn't outright attack him. 

And, add that to his still aching chest- gah, could he get used to that already? Please? The potion didn’t do anything to fix that.

But, overall he was still very confused about his opinions of the Organization. 

It had only been a week, granted, so it would probably get better soon. Plus, now that he actually knew some of the members now, he really wanted to make sure he got them all their hearts back. If he felt as terrible as he did with that ache in his chest and the longing to find his friends, then he couldn’t imagine how the other members, who’d been here much longer, felt. From what he’d heard from Axel, the man had apparently been there for years . Now that Roxas was here, they were all the closer to getting their hearts again! With his Keyblade, Roxas could help them with that. And he wanted to.

So, even if the Organization did seem a bit sketchy, it was where he wanted to stay. And he couldn’t just ditch Axel like that, could he? You don’t ditch friends! 

Oh. Well, that was a complicated subject at the moment.

It’s not like he meant to ditch Donald, Goofy, Kairi, and Riku.

Except. He had, technically. Roxas shuddered because he had willingly ...released his...

Right, uh! Speaking of Axel- Saix had paired the two of them again up for today’s mission apparently. 

Roxas’ first ‘real’ mission! All of the other members were still acting like Roxas was a zombie who couldn’t walk or talk properly, or as if he couldn’t understand anything they told him. And y’know, Roxas kinda resented that. He spaced out sometimes, yeah! But, he wasn’t a zombie! If anything, shouldn’t he be a vampire? That’s what he became when he went to Halloween Town with Donald and Goofy. Besides, vampires were way cooler than zombies anyway. 

But why did they think he didn’t know how to function properly? It kinda...well it was kinda rude? Roxas didn’t mind much, but he couldn’t get a single member to hear him out, other Axel- and he wasn’t completely sure Axel was listening to him. Demyx seemed promising though, he hadn’t dismissed Roxas yet, but he also didn’t look up from his music either. 

When Roxas ventured past the Dusks and Creepers lingering in the hallways and into the Grey Area, Axel was there to greet him right away. He wasn’t even slouching terribly on one of the couches? Just waiting for Roxas to show up. He looked kinda impatient.

“Hey, Axel! Are you ready for today’s mission?” He asked with a smile plastered on his face. “It’s my first ‘real’ one, and I’m ready to actually do something!” 

“Oh. Hey there, Roxas.” Uninterested. “Sure, course I’m all ready, but didn'tcha get the memo? Super important meeting today.” Roxas made a face. Another important meeting? “Guess not, then, huh? Well come on then, get your butt up to chair 13 already.”

Knowing how to create a dark corridor, although a pretty spluttery one, Roxas could make it to his seat easily and quickly this time. He had been practicing making the corridors the past couple of nights in his room by directing them to the kitchens, and then back again. Improvement came with each one, and Roxas was actually pretty proud of himself. Plus now he actually knew where the kitchens were, as well as the general layout of the castle- or at least the places he would usually go to! For the most part.

Vexen had told him he was being lazy for using a corridor to get to the kitchens. though, but Roxas knew that was totally bunk because Vexen had done the same thing by warping out of the kitchens himself. So had some of the others, he’d noticed. They were all lazybones. Kairi would have a field day insulting all of them. 

“Oh…” Roxas started, “okay. Thanks, Axel!” 

------

This time, the meeting actually was really important. Organization XIII was getting a new member. Number XIV: Xion.

Roxas was confused though...weren’t there only 13 chairs in the Round Room? Should their group be called ‘Organization XIV’ now, or did they just have 14 members? That was a weird choice, but Roxas was too intimidated by the other members to interrupt or speak up to ask, so he kept quiet about it. But paying full attention was difficult when his gaze kept drifting back to Lexaeus wearily, so he opted to stare at the ground next to the new member beneath all of their tall chairs. Axel was standing on the ground of the Round Room next to them- since he’d brought Xion in there as their guide or something- and they were both looking all the way up at Xemnas in his tall chair. 

Roxas was particularly excited at the prospect of having a new member that was around his age! Everyone else, aside from Zexion and his personality being the consistency of a stale cracker, was older than him by at least a decade... probably . Roxas didn’t know how old some of the older members were like Vexen and Luxord, and he didn’t even wanna think about how old Xigbar had to be. It was an exciting thought to have someone his actual age around. He just hoped they were nice. They could be friends, hopefully. 

Xemnas hadn’t really said much about the new member except for the fact that their name was Xion. That was it. 

Roxas had returned to the Grey Area to wait on his partner after Xemnas was done droning on about how they all had to keep their work up to set a good example for Xion, and Roxas himself. Axel was bound to show up soon once he was done leading Xion to wherever he was leading them. Probably a tour or something, since he vaguely remembered getting one himself the week he got here. Though what was the point of giving a tour now when they weren’t gonna remember it anyway?

Because he would have appreciated getting another one after he forgot about it instead of having to figure it out himself, even if exploring the castle and practicing the corridors had ended up being kinda fun.

Roxas rolled his eyes and leaned his shoulders limply back on the couch he was resting on, chin smushed against his chest with the chain of his coat poking him. Horrible posture, but it was comfortable. Mostly. As he raised his leg to rest it on the coffee table, he cracked an eye open and caught his reflection again in the large windows across the room that overlooked the city. At first, he looked past it and made a mental note to explore the city some time, but then his eyes traveled back to his own blonde head of hair.

Blonde ? 

Oh. It finally clicked. Something was wrong with his reflection. Roxas shouldn’t have blonde hair, because his hair had always been a deep brown when he was just Sora. He blinked incredulously at the window, from where he had straightened up on the couch. Rubbing his eyes didn’t change his image, and now that he knew something was different, he could recall seeing this version of his reflection many times before in the past week. So he wasn’t making things up.

Why it took so long for him to actually notice it was another thing. 

He rose from the couch and made his way across the, thankfully, empty Grey Area, and stopped right in front of the glass so that he could see his full reflection. Roxas turned his head from side to side for a moment, pulling off one of his gloves so that he could run his bare hand through his hair. It wasn’t just the hair too, actually, though he did have to admit he still did for the most part look like how he used to. But his skin was paler. His voice was different. And as much as he still looked like himself, he looked like a completely different person at the same time. 

It was kinda uncanny, actually, because at the same time he was already familiar with his new reflection. It was weird, seeing it like this because it just looked like how he knew himself to look, blonde hair and all, but logically he knew he’d never looked like that before. Wasn’t he supposed to have green eyes? No no, Sora had never had green eyes, it had always been a deep blue. What was going on?

Ignoring those confusing specifics in his muddle head, that still didn’t answer why his reflection changed. Could losing one’s heart really-

“Oi, Rox, find something pretty, eh?” Roxas gulped at the sudden entrance and flipped around with a squeak. He hadn’t even seen Axel’s own glass reflection approach him from behind while he was caught up in what his own was depicting. 

He quickly shoved his hand back into the glove and shot Axel a halfhearted glare. “No, I was just noticing something about my...hair, that’s all.” Roxas tilted his head up as if to emphasize. 

Axel scoffed, “What, just noticing that it looks like you were caught up in a windstorm?” Rude. But technically true, and at least that was something that stayed consistent. His hair had always been unmanageable at best, but he liked it that way. Less to deal with.  “Well, don’t worry kiddo, you look presentable. Enough.” Rude. Again. “Now get your butt in gear, it's time for your first mission. Knock the socks off those Heartless fu- suckers .” Axel ran a hand through the back of his own unruly red hair and gestured with his head to where he’d be making the corridor.

“But my hair…?” Maybe he was seeing things and he had nothing to worry about? One way to find out, he supposed. “My hair, Axel, what color is it?” 

Axel stopped in his tracks and shot him an unamused look. “Uh, why? You were just gawkin’ at your looks, you know what color it is.”

“Oh, um yeah!” he let out a small chuckle that trailed off, “But I’m serious though, Axel. What color is my hair to you ?” 

“Purple.” Roxas groaned, so Axel rolled his eyes, “Look, don’t worry man, you’ve still got that horrendous mess of blonde spikes.” To prove his point the man, once again , ruffled Roxas’ hair, but Roxas let him and frowned. 

“And...what about my eyes?” 

Axel groaned exasperatedly, “Gee, kid, they’re blue.” 

Okay, that was fine. Roxas hummed, satisfied for the moment, “Okay,” 

He signaled for Axel to bring a portal to their mission location. If anything, it might distract him from this new revelation.

The air was warm and comfortable in Twilight Town, even through his heavy coat in the early afternoon heat. “Oh, hey, by the way, Roxas, you remember the name of our new member, right?” Axel asked him once they had exited the corridor that led them to the tram station. Right below the clock tower they had visited the last time they had a mission together.

“Yup! It’s...Xion right? Like that type of flower?” Roxas could, and did, admit that he certainly wasn’t a flower expert. Far from it. The closest he’d been to ever knowing much about flowers was when Kairi got super into the language of flowers when she was 10. He didn’t remember any of the overflow of information he and Riku got as a byproduct aside from some names, but did recall the girl gushing about it to them. Sora enjoyed it, and Riku had at least humored her for a while.

He nodded, “Right, that’s what it was again,” The tall redhead muttered under his breath, before clearing it and smirking down at Roxas to speak louder. “Well, make sure to get the name of number XIV, memorized, ‘kay? I don’t have the patience to keep reminding you whenever we get teamed up again.” 

“Says the guy who just basically asked me what it was when he didn't pay attention during the meeting or the tour he gave them.” Roxas jabbed with a tongue stuck out in his direction. 

Axel scoffed back, “Yeah, well, wait until you’ve had to sit through a few more of those meetings. Why d’ya think I keep telling ya to keep these things memorized anyway? S’hard to pay attention all the time, I’m sure you know.” Axel saw right through him there. He wasn’t that good at keeping focus at the best of times. “Now, if you forget my name, then we got a problem, you hear me?” 

Axel shoved him in the shoulder and moved on to attack some appearing Heartless before Roxas could retaliate. “ Yeah, yeah , I hear ya.”

Moving into the fray himself, Roxas didn’t know if it was because of Lexaeus the day before, his lack of strength, or maybe his newness to not having a heart, but he soon struggled to keep up with Axel. The waves of Heartless that were appearing were already leaving him panting for breath, and his body was already threatening to gift him with a small stitch in his side. 

Having to fall back a little and rely on as many fire spells that his mana would allow before letting it restore was not exactly what he wanted to do, but found himself doing it anyway. He didn’t have any ethers or elixirs in his pockets either, he’d used his only potion earlier, and he didn’t want to try a Limit Break again just yet considering how much it hurt to do so. Strength would be a hard thing to build up if he got so tired after smacking just a few Shadows and Creeper Plants around though. Gross.

But hey, how else was he gonna get better? He needed to release those hearts too. With his Keyblade, not magic. And what, was he supposed to let Axel take all the glory? Nope! So he forced himself back into the midst of the swarms anyway, struggling way less as his determination urged him on.

The two of them ended up combing through several areas throughout the town, slicing down Heartless after Heartless. All the while trying to stay out of the eyesight of townsfolk. Or rather, Axel had, since Roxas didn’t care. He never cared before if people saw him with the Keyblade...because he was always there to help, right? As much as Donald prattled on about ‘ World Order’ and how important it was to keep, the duck sure didn’t seem to mind that the three of them were using magic and that Roxas had been brandishing his Keyblade around in broad daylight like no one else was there to see them. 

Donald was weird. 

It wasn’t long after dispatching what seemed like the final Shadows that something came up. Axel had harshly yanked his arm to pull him into an alleyway when they heard noise of several footfalls and laughter come closer and closer. Roxas couldn’t help but yelp at the sudden movement, though, and accidentally pulled his arm out of Axel’s hand. “Woah!” 

Y’know though, Axel, that would have worked wonders for pulling him out of the line of sight, except for the fact that it was so sudden that it caused Roxas to then flail and fall face-first on the cobblestone instead. “Axel! The heck was that for?” His voice was muffled by the ground.

All he got in response was a shush. And then Axel, the little turd, disappeared into a dark corridor right out of the alleyway. Why? Because the laughter and footfalls revealed itself to be three teenagers almost tripping over his body. Abruptly, the laughter stopped.

“Woah, man! You okay there?” One of the teenagers, a dark-haired boy with a shirt that had ‘Dog Street’ written boldly on it, bent over and offered Roxas a hand. He looked at it, uncertain a moment, but took it and got helped up to his feet. 

“Uh, thanks…” 

“Name’s Pence!”

“...Pence,” Roxas finished, rubbing at his face where his cheek had grazed the ground and wincing. Axel hadn’t needed to pull him that hard.  

“I’ve never seen you around town before, are you from the other side of the city?” Should Roxas answer that truthfully? Probably not if World Order rules and Axel trying to stay out of sight were anything to go by. He’d lie through his teeth then! Because he’d always been good at doing that. When he, Donald, and Goofy had gone to Atlantica, Ariel and her father had seen right through his ‘ we came from another ocean far away! ’ excuse, after all.

He didn’t know exactly how large Twilight Town was, but from what he remembered from the last time he was on top of the station tower, it was pretty large. He could work with that. “Oh, that’s ‘cause I’m...new here? From the...far side of town, yeah!” He paused, looking at Pence. “My name’s Roxas, by the way. Thanks for helping me up...guess I tripped.” 

The girl chuckled into her hand, eyes crinkled into a smile. “You gotta be careful, silly! I think we still have some potions in our hangout if you want one. For your face, that is, you got a nasty scrape on your chin, there. I can go grab one for you?” 

“Olette, don’t just offer our stuff to weird strangers. He’s fine, see?” The third teenager scoffed and nudged Pence and her along, “Now come on, we got things to do, places to be.” before stomping right back the way they had come. Past an open fence and through some tarp-covered alleyway down the way. Was it something Roxas did? 

The girl, Olette, sighed off in the direction her friend had stormed off to. “Ah, don’t mind Hayner, he’s not good with new people. Well, it was nice meeting you, Roxas, but we gotta go.” She chuckled, running off.

Pence nodded and turned to run after Ollete, “Yeah, see ya around, man!” 

“Yeah, sure will!” He called back.

And then Roxas was left alone again, hand falling from his face and to the charm on the zipper of his undershirt. They seemed nice. Roxas almost wished he could go after them, maybe get to actually meet them, but he shouldn’t. Hayner didn’t seem to like him, and as much as Roxas would love to go change that, he was still working on getting through to Axel. He was close, though.

Speaking of the tall Redhead...time to find where he went. Well, they had practically fulfilled the mission already, right? It had just been to collect hearts, and it looked as though they had swept through enough that no other creature would dare start appearing. If they did, they wouldn’t last long. 

The blonde grumbled as he headed for the thin alleyway Axel had tried to drag him into earlier, but he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he should check the place where they were gonna RTC from? Larxene had left as soon as she could without Roxas when they had been paired together for a mission a few days ago, but Axel wouldn’t do that to him. As bored as he would pretend to look, he would wait. Probably. 

So with that in mind, Roxas made his way back to the discrete RTC location near the tram station, just hidden by the underground entrance. Roxas didn’t bother trying to stay out of sight this time, he’d already been seen and nothing bad had happened. Worse that could happen would be for Roxas to meet more people and hold conversations. What was so wrong with that? 

When Axel hadn’t been seen around the spot Roxas thought he’d be, he thought of more ideas. Looking up at the tower above him didn’t show him to be up at the top either. Certainly, Axel could have left Twilight Town entirely, but that didn’t mean that Roxas wanted to just yet. He didn’t have anyone ‘watching’ over him, so he could go and explore the town now! Besides, he wanted to see if he could find a Moogle shop around there to buy a few more potions. His cheek was stinging but not bleeding. 

Did Nobodies even bleed? Roxas didn’t want to test that, but was thankful falling to the ground and fighting earlier hadn’t caused him to.

Right well, where would be the best places to look first that he hadn’t already seen sifting through the shadows...he could ask those kids his age again, Hayner, Pence, and Olette on where to go. But, nah, didn’t seem like Hayner would like that very much, next time for sure though!

From when he did some recon of the town with Zexion a few days back, he knew there was a busy shopping area down the hill he could check. He'd go look there first.

It was really cool to be able to visit another new world like this, especially one as pretty as Twilight Town, and really take it in. It kinda reminded Roxas of Traverse Town in a way, and he found his mind once again wandering over to his friends. Leon, Yuffie, Cid, and Aerith had told him that once he beat Ansem and sealed the final keyhole they would all return to their own world, and so would everyone else with their restored worlds. If he hadn’t been around to stop the Heartless’s boss, then did they still get to go home? Or had they gone back to Traverse Town? That was if they were okay and the Heartless hadn’t gotten to them or that world.

Riku was strong, maybe he broke free of Ansem and was able to seal the keyhole himself. ...No, because Roxas still had the Keyblade, not Riku. Kairi wasn’t weak either, and she was very determined, but she didn’t have a weapon at all. She at least woke up when he- when he freed her heart, right? Roxas could have sworn that he heard that Kairi had been able to wake up once she got her heart back, but wasn’t sure. He didn’t really remember how he did it, nor did he want to… 

These thoughts weren’t leading anywhere nice and he tried not to speed up while walking through Twilight Town because he was barely focusing. He needed to get back to Hollow Bastion. Quickly. Maybe the Organization could help him with that, but did he even have time to wait? Did he want to ask? Xemnas had said nothing but praise and promises, but he still gave Roxas an unsettled feeling. What would the superior say if Roxas asked to go do his own thing? He needed to go-

So caught up in his thoughts, Roxas hadn’t realized where he was going until he bumped into someone’s chest. Shocked straight out of his thoughts, he apologized with a dip of his head. “I’m sorry about that! I guess I wasn’t looking where...I was...going-” He trailed off when he heard a dry laugh. When he looked up, he found that he knew who he’d bumped into. It was, “Axel? What the heck?” 

Roxas quickly looked around them to find that they were both in the open. Maybe if they weren’t actively holding weapons or seeking trouble with the Heartless, then they were fine? “Why’d you ditch me like that?”

Axel scrunched up his face a bit and shoved the plastic bag Roxas hadn’t noticed the man was holding into his arms. “I almost did ditch ya, but I was watching how you handled those teens, and well, I wanted to see what you’d do if I wasn’t waiting for ya.” He explained, with a shrug while Roxas furrowed his eyebrows. Why?

“I dunno man, you just looked so lost in thought. Didn’t look like good stuff either, and well, I know the feeling. So, how about that ‘Icing on the Cake?’ before you go and mope in the Grey Area.” Roxas peered into the bag that Axel had given to him to find two bright blue wrapped ice cream bars. 

Roxas’s face fell from the confused expression and into a wide smile. Maybe this could become a routine! “Thanks Axel!”

“Yeah, sure, kid.” The tall redhead quickly led them both into an unpopulated corner hidden from sight and told Roxas to get some practice in by creating a Dark Corridor that lead up to the Clock Tower. It took a few tries, but soon the two found themselves on the tower. 

Axel watched silently as Roxas dropped the bag and flopped over onto the ledge with a dramatic sigh. He took a moment before walking over and sliding more gracefully into a seated position on the ledge next to Roxas and lifted his leg up to rest his chin. Roxas took in the view for about one breath, before sighing again and digging his hand roughly into the ice cream bag. He unwrapped it, stuck it harshly into his mouth, and then went to hand Axel his own. 

“Wow, that bad, huh?” Axel asked flatly, unwrapping and sticking his own ice cream into his mouth and taking a comically large bite. Roxas didn’t respond for a moment, taking a bite himself. He was trying not to focus on his thoughts of whether his friends were okay, and instead on other things. But other things just led to more questions, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He could ask Axel, but what should he bring up? 

Axel saw him looking at his reflection earlier, maybe he should bring that one up. “Hey, Axel?”

He hummed,

“Since we’re friends, can you help me answer something?” Roxas asked, taking another bite of his ice cream. 

Roxas noticed Axel had stopped eating his ice cream at that. He had turned to looking down at it instead, “Friends?”

“Well, yeah, we’re friends, aren’t we Axel?” Did Axel not want to be friends? Roxas wasn’t gonna stop either way because once you make a friend, it forms a connection, right? And sure, maybe he didn’t have his heart anymore, but that shouldn’t matter. And if you couldn’t make friends without one, then Roxas didn’t care. He was gonna do it anyway. 

“Kid, making friends isn’t that easy,” Axel responded slowly, sticking his ice cream back into his mouth and finishing it. 

Roxas hummed, thinking about how to answer that. Well, “Maybe not! But you could make it easier.” He sent the man a large smile. 

Axel let the popsicle stick hang from his mouth and scoffed, “Yeah okay, fair enough. Sure, we’re friends, Rox” 

Good! Roxas then focused on finishing his own ice cream, enjoying the comfortable silence and the very pretty sunset. "Do you think we could meet up here after missions then? After all of them? Cause we're friends?" he innocently asked. Roxas noticed Axel smile softly for a second before covering it up like it'd never been there in the first place. Acting cool, Axel shrugged and said that it sounded fine to him. More company for his apparently routine solitary ice cream brooding time atop the tower. 

Roxas was content just like that until he remembered that he had wanted to ask his friend some questions...he’d nearly forgotten already, being content with knowing he probably got through to Axel already. And it was only their 2nd mission together! “So, um, I got a lot of things to say, but...I dunno how to- alright Axel!” He wasn’t sure how to ask about his appearance, but he might as well ask about Axel’s himself? “Did you used to look like that before you lost your heart? Like, pointy fire hair and all? Weird little cheek tattoos?” Roxas asked, making exaggerated motions imitating Axel’s big hair, and pointing at Axel’s face underneath his eyes. 

Axel scoffed indignantly again, knocking Roxas’s arm away. “They are not dumb.” Then, after a moment, he slumped over, resting his back against the floor of the tower, his legs resting up on the ledge. “But to answer your nosey little question, yes. I’ve always looked this good. More or less.” He glanced up, “Why? Got something to do with you ogling over what you look like earlier?”

So Axel didn’t look any different from before he became a Nobody. Presumably. So why did Roxas? Maybe he shouldn’t bring up his problem then, because maybe Roxas was still making it up? Logically he knew he looked like a different person, but emotionally he felt fine. Well, maybe he could try. “Are you sure? It’s just, I’m not so sure I used to look like this,” Roxas mumbled, gesturing to his head. “But I dunno? It’s weird.”

Axel was quiet a moment before sighing, “Look, kiddo, I don’t know why you’d think that, but your memories are all messed up right? S’why you were such a zombie. Don’t worry about it.”

Were his memories messed up? Aside from not really remembering his first week with the Organization and how he lost his heart, he was pretty sure his memories were fine. He remembered the Islands. He remembered his journey with Donald and Goofy. He remembered Riku and Kairi and looking for them. And he remembered trying to find Te---. All of that was as clear as normal. Roxas discarded his clear popsicle stick into the back and slumped over, staring at the ground all the way below the tower they were sitting up at. 

Axel noticed, apparently, and laughed. He went to stand up and stretched out his long limbs. “Look, we gotta RTC. But I’ll humor ya, ‘kay?” He smirked and grabbed the ice cream bag. “What do you think you used to look like? Dinky as you do now?”

It didn’t sound like Axel believed him that he looked different as a Somebody. Roxas stood as well and rubbed at his hair. “Well, my hair was brown and...less organized for one thing. Ton of freckles? I don’t remember everything actually.” Roxas was a bit concerned that he couldn’t quite recall exactly what he used to look like, but that just meant that Axel wasn’t concerned when he had told him that his memories were messed up. Then, he guessed they were. 

Looking deeper though, it seemed like the only thing he was confused about was himself. Everything else was clear. Back at the Castle That Never Was he could picture it just fine. Now? He could barely.

That was concerning.

“Brown hair? Freckles?” Axel shrugged, “Can’t picture it.” And off they were to RTC.

-------------------

DAY 14: 

“A new person joined the Organization. Number XIV. I think they said their name was Xion? I wonder what they’re like? Also, I noticed there’s not enough chairs for them to have one in the Round Room? Aren’t we called Organization XIII? Why do we have a 14th member?

There’s something that’s been bugging me quite a bit too now that I finally figured out what it was…

I’m still not sure of everything about being a Nobody, so I dunno if this is a normal thing that happens to people who become Nobodies- but it’s my reflection. Every morning when I see my face in the bathroom mirror, or when I’m in the Grey Area by the glass waiting for my mission from Saix I notice that my reflection shows that I look different. From before losing my heart anyway. My face looks mostly the same, but my hair, my voice, all that...it’s completely different. I don’t really remember what I used to look like, but I know that much. I thought maybe all of the Organization members used to look different too...but when I brought it up to Axel, he denied it. 

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Chapter Text

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DAY 21:

Nothing much really happened in the coming week. 

He simply went about the missions that Saix told him to do with some of the group’s other members when he went to the Grey Area in the morning. Then he’d gone up to the clock tower in Twilight Town with Axel after each of them where they didn’t speak much more than small jokes- it looked like Axel was too lost in thought to really hang out with him, even when Roxas tried. He didn’t know Axel well enough yet. 

He’d then eaten the dinner that didn’t taste like much with every member that happened to be at the castle that night, and then he’d ended his nights by writing a short message in his journal. 

Not exactly fun stuff. Fun wasn’t an emotion...was he supposed to not feel what it’s like to have fun anymore? He hoped not. 

The only thing of note that he’d really felt the need to write in his journal was on day 19- he finally found a chain for his 4-pointed charm from his shirt so he could put it around his neck. Finally, a replacement for his crown! And, even if he knew he was just mimicking the emotion, he was very, very relieved to have an important charmed necklace around his neck again. Sure, he’d very much prefer to have Riku’s crown back, but this star had been with him when he had first woken up as a Nobody. It kinda reminded him of Kairi too, actually. It was the same kind of attachment he had for the clothes he had shoved to the back of his closet. 

He found his hand coming up a lot more to rub his gloved thumb over it now. Until Xaldin told him he had to keep it underneath his coat and not loosely over his chest. Something about it being able to get recognized easier even if he had his hood up. Besides, the chain could get caught on things and break potentially. Pretending that Xaldin had said that instead so that it felt he was looking after Roxas and not berating him for not being ‘careful’ was what Roxas decided to do. Maybe the man used to have his own necklace he’d worn over his coat? That was a nice thought- to picture such a burly man with a trinket around his neck, worrying about it getting caught.

But speaking of being berated over his small preferred fashion choices, Saix had kept reminding him to actually start wearing their uniform’s low-collared undershirt under his coat instead of the shirt he had been wearing. Something about...a double collar, or something. He said it looked dumb.

Well, in Roxas’s opinion, the whole outfit that they all wore was dumb. Practical for its protection from the Darkness, yes, but dumb nonetheless. He wasn’t a really huge fan of the all black coat that they all had to wear. He liked color. And belts. And little ways to express himself through what he wore...his mother had always encouraged that, letting him leave the house in all manners of clashing colors with a smile.

Roxas knew that his fashion sense had never been the...best, but even he had to admit that the double collar didn’t look nice. And now that he had the chain for the necklace, he was more than fine wearing the really low neck undershirts the Organization gave him.

After tucking his necklace safely under his hood, Roxas wondered if he was going to have another mission with Axel today. They hadn’t had one together since he’d accidentally run into those three teenagers in Twilight Town. They’d had ice cream together, sure, but no chance to work together, which was a shame because on missions it almost felt as though he were sparring with the guy.

He had gotten up rather early today, his chest had been bothering him and he couldn't get much sleep because of it. It wasn’t quite the ache he was getting used to though- it was more like... restlessness? Whatever it was, it had made Roxas get out of bed much earlier than he would have wanted, after a night of tossing and turning. He doubted Axel had gotten up this early if he hadn’t had to either, so he definitely doubted that the man was already in the Grey Area.

Roxas decided he would check Axel’s bedroom first, and if the redhead wasn’t there, then he would check the kitchens. He could ask the Dusks if they’d seen him, or maybe even an Assassin if he could find one...but he’d prefer not to. He was up early enough anyway, to walk around the castle some more. The castle was huge and creepy, but also really cool . Roxas couldn’t wait until he explored enough of it so he could move on to looking around the city, but the ‘excitement’ wasn’t enough anymore, so he hadn’t put much effort into actually doing it.

Some of the hallways were ginormous, but he didn’t have to go through one of those to get to Axel’s room. So he picked his way through the more normal and boring hallways turn after turn. All of the members’ rooms were in the same area, but the way to get to each of them was built like a complicated little white-walled maze. Roxas was certain now that the castle was just meant to confuse them. 

Staring at his shoes as he walked, he didn’t notice much until he passed number XIV walking by. Their hood was up and their face was completely covered- making a beeline straight past him. He forced a smile on his face and waved to them as they passed. “Hey there. Xion, was it?” 

The hooded figure didn’t respond or make any indication that they heard Roxas at all as they briskly passed by his shoulders. His hand fell slack to his side, and his smile fell into a frown. Dejectedly he looked to the path the XIV had gone down, watching as they turned around a corner. “Oh...okay,” That was fine. Roxas wasn’t entirely unused to people ignoring him from time to time but, that’s okay. They just didn’t know him yet.

Maybe he could ask his friend if he knew anything more about XIV. 

However, Roxas knew Axel wasn’t in his room before he even got to the door. On the closed door lay a note taped haphazardly onto the surface. Roxas’s slack expression deepened into confusion once he got closer, quickly removing it from the door to flip around in his hands. It was addressed to him specifically.

XIII,

"I’ll be away from the castle for a while on a big ol’ mission. Not sure how long it’ll be, but probably a few weeks maybe. Couldn’t give ya the deets but I at least mean to warn ya first. Guess it slipped my mind. You seem like the type to imitate worry, Rox, but do yourself a favor and don’t. "

, VIII

Axel was leaving?! Or, judging by the note in Roxas’s hands, he’d actually already left. And he didn’t even know when he would be coming back. How long would Axel really be away? So he was just left alone then? Well...technically he wasn’t but none of the other members seemed to notice him any more than to nitpick something about his behavior. Maybe he could talk to Zexion? Or Demyx? 

He reread the note several times, flipping it over to see if there was anything on the back, before sighing and crinkling it up. He shoved it into one of his coat pockets and after a moment of thought, he slipped his hood over his head. 

He...well. He didn’t know what to think. Axel had told him in his note not to ‘worry’, and he knew some other member would just tell him to stop focusing on anything but what he was supposed to. And if he were to ask the Superior about it, he would brush it off and remind him that he was just a Nobody and shouldn’t waste his effort trying to care about something like that. 

Even if that was true, dropping the issue made him think about the friends he left in Hollow Bastion, and morally, he didn’t want to think about that. Axel had agreed to be friends too, and Roxas cared for his friends. His friends…guess he never actually cared enough when he did have the capacity for it, or else he would have gone about things differently. Without a heart just meant he had to try harder right? That wasn’t gonna make Axel come back any sooner, though.

Roxas stood in front of Axel’s door staring a hole into the white and gray patchwork, contemplating if he should check if Axel was still in there sleeping anyway. But...he didn’t get the chance to do anything about it before the door slid open without his input. 

Instead of an Assassin or some other lower Nobody type, he stumbled back a few feet and his head rose to see a large figure wearing one of the Organization’s coats standing in Axel’s doorway instead. A head of blue hair and cold golden eyes looked down at him and narrowed. Saix. 

What was he doing in Axel’s room? Did Saix go into everyone’s rooms when they weren’t there? What about Roxas’s room? He had nothing to hide, but it was his room.

“Number XIII.” His hood was down, but due to his height- and Roxas supposed the man might just have super senses or something for all he knew - Saix had sniffed him out immediately. He did not remove his hood even as he snapped to attention and stood up straight. He had to fight his arm not to go up in a salute, though. Saix wouldn’t find that amusing.

Roxas’s stiff posture started to fade away as Saix continued to scour over him, until the blue haired man scoffed. “Report to the Gray Area to receive your mission.” 

“Yes, sir.” But...why had Saix been in Axel’s room? “But, uhm, why were you-” He was cut off by Saix’s eyes, finding his form again sharply. 

“That will be enough of that, XIII. What I am doing or not doing is not your business. Your business is carrying out missions for the Organization, understood?” Roxas nodded but stayed silent. Saix in return turned his head curtly down the hall and stepped past him, but not without a quick...compliment? It didn’t exactly sound like one, but then again, they both didn’t really have feelings, so it could have been one for all Roxas knew. “You’ve been doing...well so far. Do keep that up. Understood?” 

Saix didn’t turn around, but Roxas made sure not to move until the man was completely out of his sight. That guy’s aura just didn’t sit right with him. 

------

The mission, it turned out, was just another trip to Twilight Town to collect Hearts. Surely he’d cleared out most of the Heartless from that place already? It wasn’t surprising that that’s what his mission was, though.

What was surprising, however, was that he had gone on a mission with Number XIV today. It was their first mission, he was pretty sure. Perhaps the part that he had found the most unexpected was that he had been the one in charge, leading the mission for the both of them. He didn’t know why they trusted him with that, since he’d only been there for like, 3 weeks? 

Though, he tried not to mess up today, especially after that weird run-in with Saix earlier at Axel’s door. 

Another thing he should have been expecting, Roxas thought, was that XIV wasn’t going to interact with him any more than they did earlier in the halls of the Castle. They hadn’t even said anything to him in the Gray Area either when he told them about what their mission was, they simply followed behind him as he made the corridor to Twilight Town. 

Roxas had no clue what kind of weapon XIV used, as they only used fire spells during the mission and nothing else. They didn’t even speak as they casted either! Roxas always had to speak out the spell in order to get it to work without messing it up. He was good at magic, or at least he used to be, but his focus on casting? Much less so.

XIV’s hood was up the entire time too, though Roxas kept his lowered like usual. They didn’t talk...at all. Roxas at least had some conversation with the other members on the missions he went on with them, but XIV had nothing to say to him. That was fine by him ‘emotionally’, though conceptually he wasn’t a fan. Because, he remembered that back on the Islands, he had hated when other kids, and the adults ignored him. He didn’t feel the same discontent now, but he remembered that he would have had he had a heart. 

So, when their mission was over and done with and all the Heartless in the area seemed to have been taken out, Roxas created a corridor that led back to the Castle. 

“You…” Roxas hesitated, because he wasn’t sure he wanted to invite them to the station tower like he had originally been planning on doing whenever they got the chance to go on a mission eventually. He wanted to, really, but it felt like a special place for just him and Axel...did he want to ruin that? Not until Axel got back. “You go on ahead and RTC without me. I got something I gotta do, ‘kay?” 

XIV didn’t even nod, they just...turned around and walked through the dark corridor and closed it behind them. Well. He’d try again with them next time. With Zexion also gone off to wherever Axel was, and Demyx off doing whatever it was he was doing today, Roxas figured he would just go to the Clock tower by himself. He didn’t want to go back to the Castle just yet, if he didn’t need to. 

He could try making a corridor to Traverse Town? Maybe Hollow Bastion too? Destiny Islands...wasn’t possible. He couldn’t go home ever again. Not without the Heartless being stopped and the worlds restored. But he hadn’t been able to do that yet, because he became a Nobody instead. How would he even get to the other two worlds if they were still around, anyway? He should still at least try. 

His hood found its way over his head again and he stepped into an empty alleyway on the way to Station Heights. Roxas raised his hand to try to see if he could make a path to Traverse Town first, focusing first on the old vacant house in District 3 that his friends had used while they were all in Traverse Town together. Then, when that wasn’t getting anywhere, he tried to focus on the underground sewers and Merlin’s strange little makeshift hideout. Nothing. The Accessory shop? District 1? Still nothing, and Roxas was beginning to tire from concentrating on the Darkness for so long trying to get something to work. 

He hadn’t tried Hollow Bastion yet, but there was one more thing he wanted to try to see if he could get to Traverse Town after all. 

He wondered...what if he could focus on creating the corridor directly to his friends instead of a location? So instead of Traverse Town itself, he began to focus on Leon but soon froze when he sensed something materializing behind him. The familiar smell of dust that accompanied all Nobodies, and the snapping sound of the ‘ nothingness ’ they were made of or something rushed behind his back. His hand fell to his side, causing his arm to go numb from how long he had been holding it up. 

Whipping his head around showed a distinct lack of a corridor, and instead he was met with the familiar signs of a typical Nobody materializing. He didn’t call for any Dusk though…? He didn’t even know how to do that yet, since no one had explained it to him when he had asked...something about him figuring it out on his own. Did another Organization member summon it? Was it XIV? He had thought that they had already left to RTC.

The Nobody that appeared before him was a type he’d never seen before. It clearly wasn’t one of the Lesser Nobodies, but it didn’t look like any of the Member’s charges either. It did feel familiar though, and not unwelcome…

<My Liege.>

Did Roxas summon it? That would be really cool if he did, actually, even if he hadn’t really meant to.

“Me?” Roxas mimed his thoughts and asked, all incredulous and pointing a finger at his own chest. “Wait. Liege ?” Liege meant... leader , didn’t it? That couldn’t be right…

Or. Hadn’t Zexion explained that Roxas would get his own Mid-tier Nobodies eventually? Was this Nobody his ? Woah...he hadn’t even realized he already had one, if that was the case. So soon? He’d only been a Nobody himself for about a month, he thought, so why would he be getting one now? 

The Nobody in front of him dipped it’s head down before looking up and staring. Nobodies didn’t really have eyes, per say , aside from the Higher Nobodies, but he felt its piercing gaze on him anyway. It was a bit creepy. < Yes. Number XIII, my Liege.> it raised an arm over its thin chest, swaying gently in place. <I have sworn my allegiance to you.>

The Nobody in front of him was lithe with long sleeve-looking arms covered almost like a ninja...but most noticeably it had two swords. Two of them! Roxas wondered if he could ever use two swords one day too, or maybe two Keyblades! Well, that wasn’t possible, but it was still cool to think about. 

“Oh? I didn’t call for you. How’d I do that?” 

The Nobody in front of him didn't move beyond the normal restlessness all Nobodies seemed to have. Roxas shifted all of his weight onto one of his legs, and raised a hand to his chin. “Uh, is there something I should do, now that you’re here? Why’d you come anyway? If I did summon you, how do I do it again? Oh! What’re you called?” Roxas shot question after question at the slightly bowed Nobody. “Are there more of you?”

After he had trailed off and lowered his hand again, the Nobody removed its own arm from where it was resting on one of it’s swords. It rose it quickly and mimicked Roxas’s gesture. It looked kind of odd, seeing the creature raise an unseen hand to its nonexistent chin in thought. 

< Samurai…> Samurai were like those…’ninja’ guys right? The ones from the story books that Sora’s mother used to read to them? Sora had usually just focused on the pirate ones, though, because those were easier to picture and more fun to pretend to be on the islands. < Simply request, and I will assist.> 

“But I didn’t ask for any help right now, did I?’ He asked, wringing his hands together, until the sound of the leather scrunching together bothered him into stopping. All he had been trying to do was figure out a way to Traverse Town. 

< You wanted to reach an inaccessible world. That is unadvisable, my liege.> Oh. Traverse Town really was inaccessible? Hollow Bastion must be too. Gosh, why’d he think that would work anyway…

It was probably dumb to try to get to just Leon too. If the Samurai stopped him, then maybe he shouldn’t try again right now. Back to...just doing missions then. 

He waited for a moment, but the Samurai said nothing more on the matter. It didn’t seem like much for talking. But now that Roxas’s answers were mostly met, he wasn’t all that interested anymore. Time to head to the Clock Tower, then. 

Uh. How was he supposed to dismiss Samurai and get it to go back to the World That Never Was?

“Right well, Mr. Samurai, I’m going to…” A thought struck him. “Say, would you come with me? Ever had ice cream before?” 

The Nobody tilted it’s head for a beat, before fully bowing its head. < If that what you wish, my liege.>

------

Roxas didn’t think he wanted to invite his Samurai to get ice cream again after that. It didn’t talk, and Roxas thought that maybe he would have been better off going up there alone, or even actually inviting XIV. 

He hadn’t felt in the mood to loiter around the Gray Area or the Kitchens today after the disappointing day he’d had, so he had wandered to the Castle’s more...interestingly structured rooms. His hood was still over his head, not fond of the idea of interacting with any other Nobody for the rest of the day. But as luck would have it, he’d ended up almost walking into someone in the hallway. Xigbar, he thinks, since his hood was up and over his own head.

“Oh hey there, Tiger! Just the man I was lookin’ for,” Roxas hadn’t been expecting that . “It looks like it’s your lucky day today, kiddo. Lord Xemnas asked to speak with little o’l you, isn’t that something?” 

The Superior had wanted to talk to him? Alone? “Okay...” 

“Great. Well, I’ll be going, now. Don’t keep the Superior waitin’, kid.” 

Did he do something wrong? Roxas didn’t get the chance to ask before Xigbar sauntered down the hallway and out of sight. 

Xemnas wanted to speak with him. 

Roxas didn’t think he’d ever had a one-on-one conversation with the Superior before. Except maybe when he had first joined the organization, if only he’d remembered that. Maybe it could have prepared him for how to talk to him now.

------

“Ah, Number XIII, the Keyblade’s Chosen,” Xemnas addressed Roxas after staring his form down on his chair across from him in the Round Room for a few long moments. His voice was deep as usual, and carried a sense of importance and power, but all he spoke was encouragement. Roxas didn’t have any reason to distrust the Superior, aside from the fact that the powerful Nobody reminded him of someone he really didn’t like. The thing that had possessed Riku. 

Other than that, the Superior hadn’t been anything but accommodating. If that was just for show, then he was really good at acting. But did that matter in the long run? Its not like Roxas could really feel panic over that.

“I have word that our very own Keyblade wielder has already managed to summon a charge of his own. You are beginning to show some promise, and I do hope that you continue to do so.” Xemnas waved his hand and Roxas’s Samurai from before manifested into the room, below them on the floor of the Round Room. Roxas tried not to stare at the bright blue stain on the sleeve of one of its arms from the ice cream earlier, that was barely noticeable from their distance.

The Samurai bowed its head to the Superior, and then turned to Roxas with another bow. “Good work, Roxas. You will continue to collect Hearts with the keyblade, and enlist the help of your Samurai whenever the need calls for it.”

Roxas turned his gaze off of his Nobody, and brought it to look at the Superior. “Yes, sir.” 

“Good, now dismiss your charge for now,” Xemnas motioned, and when Roxas did not make a move to do so, because no one had told him how to do so yet, the Superior sent it away himself and finally told him how. And how to summon more- or rather how to amass more. He wished for Roxas to get stronger, so much so that Roxas may be able to do more for them.

Xemnas mentioned there might be tests for Roxas soon. They might have him do more for that. If it was anything like what they were making Axel and some of the others do...

Roxas didn’t know if he wanted that, even if he didn't know what it was. But he nodded and agreed to everything the Superior said. 

“I look forward to seeing what you can do, Number XIII.” 

With one last nod, Roxas created a Corridor from his chair, and left Xemnas alone to the Round Room. He brought the corridor directly back to his room to think about what he was just told. He wasn’t hungry anyway, and he didn’t want to see Xigbar or XIV again today. 

----------

DAY 21:

"Axel left today. He wrote a letter to me and left it on his door...he said he had meant to tell me ahead of time, but forgot. I don't think that makes me feel any better about that, though. And then I saw Saix in his room? Maybe he's spying or snooping around. Maybe if I did that myself, I would finally know more. After my mission tomorrow, I think I'll explore more of the castle that I haven't seen before. Including some of the other member's stuff. A lot of them are going to be gone for a while anyway.

Xemnas wanted to talk to me today too...he knew that I summoned my own Nobody today. The Samer Samurai is really cool, but if it means that Xemnas is going to be watching me more, and is thinking about testing me? I don't think I like that. 

Number 14...Xion. I want to see if I can get through with them tomorrow. If not...well I hope Axel gets back soon."

 ----------

--_---__--_---__--

Chapter Text

---__---_------_---____-

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DAY 23:

“ I’m glad that Number 14 showed me their face the other day. They said my name too! Demyx said I was like that at first too...walking around with my hood on and not acknowledging anyone... like a zombie.

 Or a vampire. I still think vampires are cooler. 

But I’m glad Xion has been opening up :).”

----------

-_-__--__---___--__

----------

DAY 24: 

“I thought better of snooping around Saix’s room. Or Axel’s, actually, I think Saix might find me and I don’t want him to get upset with me.

But I did snoop around the other rooms of the members who went to that other castle. I didn’t find anything. 

Xion told me to keep looking, but I’m not sure where I would look if I wanted to keep it up. I found Xaldin’s journal and immediately left. I don't want anyone reading mine, so I shouldn’t read theirs. Besides, Xaldin is kinda weird and freaks me out. ” 

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-_---_-----____-_-__

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DAY 32:

Xion told me that tomorrow I have to tell them some of my stories of being a Somebody after our missions when we meet up at the clock tower. They liked hearing the small things I told them about Axel because he’s a big weirdo. They were surprised to hear that I remember things from before becoming a Nobody too. At least they didn’t doubt me like Axel did. I’ll prove it to him, though. When he gets back...

I can’t wait until Axel gets back, we all should get ice cream to celebrate it. Icing on the cake! :)

Oh, also...I think I heard Xigbar say I’m going on a mission with him tomorrow...I’m not sure how that’s gonna go, but I did hear that it’s gonna be a world other than Twilight Town finally. I can’t wait to see what world it's going to be. Maybe I can find some things out.

Xigbar also kinda freaks me out, though. Hmm,,”

----------

----__-_---__--_-___---

DAY 52:

Roxas woke up to voices. Two? Maybe just one voice, speaking as though there was another person there to listen. Who...

Unless they were talking to him. Why would someone be in his room talking to him while he slept? It wasn’t Saix was it? Didn’t sound like him, but based on his presumed snooping habits, Roxas couldn’t be sure, and he was horribly groggy besides. 

He had never been able to find evidence that Saix ever wandered into his room, after all, but he knew the man to sneak into some of the other members’ rooms. Couldn’t cross his off the list yet.

He blinked his eyes open, his eyelids heavier than they normally were. The light of his room was bright, and stung his eyes when he tried to sit up. It felt like he had slept through a whole day with the heavy feeling of being immobile ...what had he been doing before sleeping last? Felt like he had been beat up, or knocked out potentially. Again...

Maybe if he checked his journal? Later, though. When his head stops hurting.

The voice(s), like expected, stopped as soon as he sat up, but what was not expected was two heads shooting straight towards his direction like they didn’t expect him to be awake. 

One of them, whom Roxas recognized immediately was Axel. Hard to mistake a blur of fiery spikes. 

The other person in the room, however, was almost getting blurrier. He thought he saw someone short, with short...red hair? The girl with black red hair reached out a hand slowly to him, and he stared at it before flinching back when he figured out who he saw. 

“Kairi?!” When the hand pulled away, the red hair morphed into something else. The figure in front of him became a bit taller and the hair switched to a shade of purple. No...it was definitely a shade of Blue. Sora...knew this person. It wasn’t Kairi, it was, “Aqua?!” 

Aqua pulled away quickly as if burned by his words, and the other increasingly blurry figure in the room leaned over. Only, it wasn’t Axel. It was “Terra! You’re here too?” Roxas exclaimed, beginning to reach out and leaning so much he almost rocketed off of the bed. Similar to Aqua, the figure in question tilted his head in confusion, and his hair soon shifted to a purplish silver, and his height changed to be shorter too. What… now Sora wasn’t sure what was real or not, but he knew Riku. This was Riku. “No, it’s Riku! Riku’s here...I-” as he reached a hand out again, the figure disappeared altogether, Sora’s hand passing through his friend’s form. He looked left and right, but his friend was gone. As if he was never really there in the first place. 

Aqua, however, shifted once more to a smaller figure in an organization coat with short black hair. She was getting clearer and more focused by the second, and that’s when something finally made sense. The static and the dim colors were gone from his vision. That was Xion . Xion was in the room with him. Was Terra or Aqua ever there? Kairi or Riku? Not even Axel?

No no, wait, Sora didn’t know a Terra or an Aqua.

There was no way Kairi or Riku could even be here in the first place. Sora didn’t know where they were, or if they were alright.

And Axel was... well, Roxas probably wouldn’t ever see him again. Not after he was told that all the members sent to Castle Oblivion had been destroyed. He’d never see Axel again...

‘ So why did I...?’

Xion cleared their throat, a sharp loud sound that cut through Roxas’s thoughts. Right, he was awake. This was real. Those people whom he knew and those he didn’t know...the ones he had thought had been there in the room with them weren't real. But Xion was. 

“Roxas?” They asked, sitting on the bed beside him when he moved to kick his legs over the side. Hands were put on his shoulder to prevent him from standing, though, lest he fall over or something. “Roxas, are you okay?” He was too groggy, but thankful Xion was there, he might have very well actually fallen off of the bed.

Xion...after the first day of their ‘interacting’ Roxas had finally gotten Number XIV to react to him. It had taken a few attempts, but soon enough Xion verbally responded to him. And Roxas was satisfied when Xion actually took their hood off and smiled at him.

It had turned out that Xion had just been really out of it. Just as Roxas had been the first week he was at the castle himself. A real zombie, apparently. Demyx had explained that to him in the Grey Area, actually, and that honestly did make Roxas feel better about it. He had just been convinced Xion had wanted nothing to do with him. But, even so, Roxas had already started feeling less alone the minute Xion lowered their hood and showed their face on their next mission together. 

Now, they were actually pretty friendly! And, the best part was, they enjoyed the little hideout in Twilight Town atop the clock tower that he and Axel shared too. And the sea salt ice cream too, of course. Axel would have freaked if he were here to hear that Roxas had invited someone new to the tower who didn’t like his favorite ice cream. Maybe if Axel had come back from that terrible mission, maybe he’d be fine with Xion too. Perhaps they could be friends too. Actually, Roxas had forgotten to ask Xion about that formally. He’d told them what friends were and then forgotten to properly ask...

He should do that. Perhaps he needed more friends, to get his mind off the ones he couldn’t help at the moment. Oh how he wanted to, though.

“Roxas…?”

“Huh?” Roxas blinked, focusing on Xion’s face. Right, he and Xion were in his room. They were asking him something. 

They tilted their head, “Are you alright, Roxas?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, Xion. I’m okay…I've just been having some...weird dreams lately.” The irony was not lost on him, as one of the last times he spoke to Kairi, he had said something very similar. The start of the end, really. “Just. Having a hard time figuring out what’s real or not,” he made a helpless motion with both of his hands. “I thought there were other people in the room, but it’s just us.” He paused, eyes widening. “Right? It’s just us right?”

Xion looked left, and then looked to the right before shaking their head. “Just us. I didn’t see anyone else.”

Good. But then… he’d heard voices? That’s what woke him up.

“Then who were you talking to?” Roxas asked, removing his hands from his lap and leaning his weight onto them behind him. Focusing on the stiff but warm fabric against his bare hands- a nice sensation over the leather insides of his gloves he was already used to feeling. 

“Oh,” Xion leaned back on one of their own hands, the other one jingling the chain of their coat. “I was talking to you, Roxas.”

“Me? But I was sleeping...” 

When Roxas turned his head to look at them, they looked a bit confused before pointing to the right of his lap. He followed their hand and found something of interest. Several seashells of differing shapes, colors, and sizes were placed in two vertical lines next to his pillow.

“Woah! What’s all this?” He asked, looking them over with wide eyes. Most of the shells were variations he knew like the back of his hands from growing up on the islands. Some were ones he had never even seen before too. But there was one that stopped him in his tracks. His bare fingers traced the edge of the particular shell, and he hesitated before scooping it up and squeezing it in his hand. A Thalassa shell. 

Kairi…

She had been making a necklace out of those shells, right? To bring the three of them good luck for their journey on the raft. The irony...did she even ever get to finish making it? 

Xion let out a ‘hmm’, standing up from Roxas’s bed, which made him focus on the moment again. “You’ve been sleeping for a while, Roxas. Every day that I could, I brought you a seashell from my missions, because they’re pretty and you said you like to keep little things you find.” They smiled, “I didn’t expect you to wake up.”

His hand went limp for a second, before tightening harder around the Thalassa shell. “Every day? How long was I asleep for?!” He asked, feeling the shell indent his hand from how hard he was squeezing it. 

“Oh...um, I think.” They raised a hand to their chin, “Maybe Saix said it was 19 days.” 

19 days??

“What?! No wonder I feel like crap…” He grumbled and shoved the Thalassa shell into the pocket of his pants to keep it with him. That was a long time to be sleeping. A long time to waste when he should be trying to get stronger. 

Suddenly the door to his room was sliding open, Xion standing in the doorway. “I was going to go to the clock tower in Twilight Town. Do you want to come with me?” They asked, a small smile on their face. “I’ve been going alone because I missed going with you...but it’s not the same.”

Roxas sent them a small smile of his own, rubbing his thumb against his other hand. “I went up there alone once, and you’re right. It is better with a friend,” He responded, tactfully neglecting the fact that when he had gone up alone he had had one of his Samurai’s with him. They didn’t need to know that. It still felt like he had been alone. 

“Friend?” They asked, hands clenching together in front of their chest. “You told me what friends are…”

“Yup! I meant to ask you...before. Y’know,” He snorted, gesturing at the bed because he hadn’t meant to sleep for 2 weeks. “ Do you want to be friends with me, Xion?” Then, after a thought, he added in a quieter voice, “I mean...you don’t have to...”

They looked uncertain, and Roxas prepared himself for them to say no. But they clapped their hands together instead, making his tight chest a little less suffocating. “Oh Roxas, that’s a great idea! You can be my first friend!”

“First of many,” Roxas pointed out matter-of-factly, with a finger raised in the air. This is also when he noticed his nails were painted black. He wondered who did that while he was sleeping. He’d ask the Dusks about that one…they were sure to know. He hoped it wasn’t Saix. “Because,” He continued, bringing his own thoughts back to Xion and away from his tangent. “We’re gonna make more friends together, right? I miss Axel, but I think you guys would have liked each other too. Well…”

“I think he’d like that I like his favorite ice cream, you mean.” Xion retorted. 

“Well, that too.”

Roxas squeezed the necklace around his neck one last time before sliding his coat on from the edge of the bed, and then he stumbled to follow after Xion. The ice cream and height might not make him feel better physically, but Roxas definitely wanted it.

------

The air was crisp today, up on the tower, looking over a sleepy Twilight Town and the woods beyond. The view was beautiful as always, but Roxas didn’t find it as distracting from his thoughts as was hoping it would be. And there were several things to think about, for sure. But Roxas didn’t like brooding and tried to hide it in his ice cream too, but though he ate it, it didn’t help. 

So he found himself taking out the Thalassa shell from his pocket once more, and absently rubbing his now gloved thumb against the surface, every once in a while tapping the three points at one of the shell’s ends. Xion was busy finishing up their ice cream and humming absently as they kicked their legs back and forth over the edge. 

Until “Oh, you took one of the shells with you, Roxas?” Roxas startled for a moment, before nodding and holding the shell to them with an open palm for them to look at. “That’s the pretty one I found today at that nice beach.” They said, tapping their now cleaned popsicle stick against their chin in thought. 

“Beach...what beach? Is there one in Twilight Town?” Which, admittedly was a dumb question, seeing as they were literally on the tallest point of the town and could see the surrounding terrain. There was No Ocean to be seen. There was a tram though. Maybe one of them led to a beach somewhere. 

“Silly,” Xion said, smiling, but not laughing before they turned and put their popsicle stick with his own in the bag. “I went to another world today with Demyx. There were a few pretty islands, but after the mission, Demyx sat in the ocean and played his weird instrument and I looked for shells. I found that perfect one lying all alone.” They explained.

Islands...how nostalgic that sounded. It reminded him of home, but troubling thoughts soon flocked to him. His home was gone. 

But he didn’t want to concern Xion...even if the two of them didn’t really have emotions, bad thoughts, or worries about one another were never nice in the first place. He didn’t want to be the cause of that. So instead he chuckled down at the shell and handed it to them. 

“What’s that?” Xion asked, looking up at him rather than the shell they were given. But... oh. They were talking about his laugh. Xion had told him the other day- or actually seeing as he had slept for 2 weeks apparently, the other week -that they didn’t remember anything about their life before becoming a Nobody. That was weird...everyone that Roxas talked to, and himself included, seemed to remember who they used to be. But now that he was thinking about it, Axel and the other members assumed Roxas didn’t remember his own life either, and he had never found the opportunity to correct them. Maybe it was different for every Nobody.

“A laugh. Sometimes Somebodies laugh when they hear something funny, or remember good times. Or if they are just having a good time with a friend.” He explained and thought better about sharing the other...less cheerful causes for laughter. He didn’t think they would understand something like a dry sarcastic laugh. Not that they were dumb or anything! It's just that maybe it was a little much at the moment. 

“Why did you laugh then? Are you having a good time?” Xion asked after thinking for a moment, smiling at the shell. 

“I guess I am, yeah.” He nodded before he pointed at the shell. “But I was also remembering something. I used to live on an island, and me and my two closest friends used to do all kinds of things together. Sometimes we would play with the other island kids, but most of the time it was just us three. We would spar for fun, and race each other across the sand, and even had a little hideout that only the three of us knew about.” Roxas shared. Everything was fond, except for the new meaning that the Secret Place had given to him. That’s where the end of his world started. But… anyway. He wanted to tell Xion about the shell, and about Kairi.

Xion gave a small laugh of their own, testing it out. “That sounds lovely, Roxas!”

Roxas agreed, taking the Thalassa shell back from them. “It was, and I wish it never went away…” Uh, back on track, back on track… “But this shell right here is called a Thalassa shell. Sailors used to take these and make star-shaped charms with them for good luck. A way to connect them back home, I guess. I don’t really remember why,” for he admittedly had never really paid it much mind, “but one of my two friends used to collect them. She loved the stories about the shells and how sailors used them and said she was going to make her own. To keep the three of us connected, I think.” What good that ended up doing…

The three of them were farther than ever before now. 

It was almost time that they should head back, but Xion made him promise to tell them more about his friends and his old home the next time they end up to the tower. They seemed to like what he had said, and maybe it was better for both of them to focus on his good memories. Rather than worry about what actually happened over in Castle Oblivion, or why Xion can’t seem to remember their own past. 

Or, what was bothering Roxas the most, was why he fell asleep for so long, and why everything was so much more different than his life before. 

------

It was in the kitchen when Roxas left the tower with Xion and went to find food in the Kitchens of the Castle that Never was when he ran into Saix. 

He was hoping that any other member, aside from Xigbar or Saix would be in the kitchen. But it was only Roxas, Luxord, and Saix that were there.

 Roxas was more fine with Saix than Xigbar, though, since he remembered Xigbar hadn’t minded it at all when they found out that they had probably lost a good chunk of their comrades in the other Castle. When Roxas finally got that news from Demyx, that is. No one ever told Roxas anything, aside from Demyx. But Xigbar also hadn’t seemed to bother himself with Roxas’s wellbeing, because after he passed out during their mission, Xigbar had left Roxas lying on the sand. Xion said that they had gone looking for him, and found him alone. That was really nice of the man…

When Saix had noticed Roxas enter and go about getting his rations, he scoffed in his direction. “Roxas, you’re awake, I see.”

Roxas dropped what he was holding onto the table and stood straight to give the blue-haired man his full attention. He didn’t want him getting bothered about his ‘not listening’ as well. “Yes, sir.”

“How nice of you to rejoin us.” He didn’t sound relieved, however, just stone-cold as always. Luxord coughed a bit awkwardly from where he sat at the other end of the table, leaning further into his cards to mind his own business. Roxas kind of wished he had his own cards to hide behind at the moment too. 

When Saix said nothing more on the matter, Roxas tapped his finger on the table, next to his meal. It had been 2 weeks...maybe the man had some more news on what happened at Castle Oblivion. About which members really had been destroyed. 

“Uhm,” He started eloquently. “Do you know any more about what happened at Castle Oblivion? Because I w-” 

Saix cut him off, “We are looking into what befell them.” That wasn’t the answer Roxas wanted. Maybe if he reworded his question...but it concerned him that the man had said ‘them’ and not anything more specific than that.

“Them? How many of them...do you know?” Roxas asked levelly. He had already started to grow used to the fact that Axel may never come back, rather than hope, but Saix’s response could either cement that or bring his hope back. He just wanted answers, and if anyone had them, it was bound to be the blue-haired man. 

But Saix stood up from his chair, the grating sound against the floor attracting Roxas’s attention further. Luxord appeared to lean further into his cards. “What I know is that I don’t owe any explanation to you. I expect you in the Grey Area earlier tomorrow morning to make up for the work you missed.” He announced. And then he walked out of the room, leaving Roxas and Luxord alone in the Kitchens. And the Dusk who hurried its way in to clean up after Saix. 

Luxord cleared his throat, before standing up himself, making sure not to scrape the chair as Saix had. “Well, that certainly is a shame. It is good to see you awake Roxas, I really was wondering when you were going to be up and about.” His cards disappeared into his sleeve and he walked up to Roxas. “I’m afraid I don’t know any more than you do about what happened in the other Castle, or I would inform you. Either way, be prepared for harder missions, he wasn’t lying about making up for the lost time.” Luxord chuckled and left the room.

Roxas didn’t feel like eating in the kitchen after that, so he created a Dark Corridor, and brought his food to his room.

----------

DAY 53:

I slept for 19 days…

I don’t know why, and I don’t think anyone will tell me why. But, I know Kairi used to tease me about how much I liked to sleep, but I don’t think I like the concept of sleeping as much as I used to. I wonder what she would say if she found out my record is now 19 days straight. Maybe she’d be impressed and we can all laugh about it in the future. Once I make sure they are okay, and once I have my heart back. 

In other news, the Dusk’s painted my nails? It looks good, but who knew they had such a fun side to them? They apparently drew on my face too, but Xion cleaned it off. Honestly? I bet it was really funny. 

And now they know what laughing is. I hope I get to hear them laugh more.

It reminded me of home even more.”

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