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Chapter Text

“Good morning, Mrs. Landingham.”

“Good morning, Joshua. Would you like a cookie?”

“Yes.” I remove the glass top from the jar and take one, looking at it cautiously.  I love Mrs. L’s cookies except sometimes she makes Oatmeal Raisin.  This looks like Chocolate Chip so I take a small bite.  Ah, yes.  Yummy.

“He’s a little backed up today.” She informs me, tilting her head toward the door leading to the Oval Office.

“Ahkay.” I respond, trying not to spew crumbs.  I don’t really mind standing here for a few minutes, I might have time for another cookie.

“While we’re waiting can I ask you something?  She inquires sweetly.

“Sure.”

“Are you seeing anyone right now?”

“What?” I sputter.

“Are you seeing anyone right now?” Mrs. L repeats succinctly.  “You know, dating. Hooking up.  Whatever you kids call it.”

“Ah, I, um . . . “ I stall as I try to figure out how to answer. I don’t exactly want it common knowledge that I’m going through a dry spell but lying to Mrs. L somehow feels wrong.

“I didn’t think so.” Mrs. L quips.  “That’s very good.”

“I’ve been busy.” I protest.

“I’d like you to do a favor for me.”

Oh no. I know where this is going. I just have one question.  Did Mrs. Landingham think of this on her own or has she been talking to my mother?  

While I contemplate the likelihood that Mom has a troop of special agents just waiting to deploy on mission “It’s time for some Grandchildren,” Mrs. L continues her quest.

“She’s a really nice girl.  I think you’d really like her.”

“I’m sure she’s quite lovely, Mrs. Landingham.  What does she do?”

“She’s a librarian!” Mrs. L  beams.  “And you do love to read.”

“Uh. . . “

“I took the liberty of checking with your assistant and you’re free this evening.  You have reservations for 7.  I know you won’t let me down.”

At that moment Charlie opens the door and strides into the room.  “He’ll see you now, Josh.”  He announces while Mrs. Landingham smiles at me, satisfied that her work is done. Charlie’s timing is so perfect, I can’t help but wonder if he’s in on it.  How high does this conspiracy go?

Heading into the oval, I can’t help but wonder what the hell happened.  Have I lost my touch? Because, inexplicably, I have a date tonight.  With a librarian. She’s probably an old maid.  Why didn’t I get more details?  I don’t even know how old she is or what she looks like.  Probably glasses.  Possibly a bun.  And a bulky sweater and sensible shoes.

This is going to be unbearable.

Somehow I pull it together long enough to brief the President on the final details of the Tobacco litigation. So apparently, I haven’t completely lost it.  Now I just have to figure out how to get out of this date.  I know exactly where to start.

I stand in front of her desk and stare at my assistant, arms crossed, foot tapping, waiting for an explanation.  Unfortunately, she’s impervious. 

“The request came directly from the Oval Office.” She informs me in a haughty tone.  “When the President’s office tells me to clear time on your schedule and make a reservation, that’s what I do. If you have an issue with that, I suggest you take it up with your boss.”

I give her a glare before I retreat to my office to think.  What does this mean?  Is the President in on this?  Leo?  I wouldn’t put it past my Mother.  She’s relentless. 

At 6:45, unable to find a solution that doesn’t land me in the doghouse with some very important people, I open my office door and step out.  My assistant gives me a once over and nods her approval at my attire, then she hands me a slip of paper with everything I need to know. 

Outside the building, I grab a cab.  I momentarily contemplate giving the driver my address instead of the restaurant’s.  I could just go home and watch the game.  But if I do that, I’ll surely be discovered, and I still don’t know whether the President is in on this.  I’m better off just taking the hit. It won’t be the first dull night I’ve faced.  Maybe I can plead a headache and beg off after the appetizer.

All too quickly the cab stops in front of Morton’s.  At least I know I’ll eat well tonight. This is one of my favorites because  they know how to cook a steak. I need to remember to thank my assistant for the small favor.

“Ah! Mr. Lyman, right this way.” The maitre d’ leads me through the restaurant to a secluded round booth in the back.

When he stops, my jaw drops.  The woman waiting for me is a vision.  Long blonde hair, luminous eyes.  When she stands, I see a lithe, slightly curvy figure encased in a sparking red cocktail dress.  She holds out her hand.

“Josh Lyman?”

I think that’s me.  I can hardly remember my own name. I look down at the paper in my hand before looking back up at her.

“Donna Moss?”

Chapter Text

After we say our introductions, he holds his arm out, gesturing for me to sit down. He’s handsome, even better than the photo on the White House website. My compulsive research habit, along with my less than stellar dating history, demanded an afternoon of reading up on the White House Deputy Chief of Staff. Though I’m trying to play it casually, I’m not unprepared. 

Before we have a chance to say much to each other, the waiter appears for Josh’s drink order. I’ve already been nursing a glass of white wine to take the edge off, but he orders a Sam Adams.

“So, how do you know Mrs. Landingham,” he begins hesitantly, glancing around as though he isn’t sure what to say. I find it difficult to believe that a man like this, someone the papers frequently refer to as “Bartlet’s Bulldog” is nervous so I can’t help but wonder if he’s already bored. 

“She lives next door to me,” I smile shyly, nervously tucking my hair behind my ear. “We look out for each other.”

“That’s nice.” 

I raise my eyebrows at his generic response when he realizes it’s his turn to talk. I know I’m out of practice when it comes to dating, but I’m beginning to think maybe he is too. 

“So, you’re a librarian?” He confirms. “That sounds interesting.”

I laugh softly. The man across from me is arguably the third most powerful man in the country, but he’s trying to take an interest in my job.

“Yes, the Dewey Decimal system is fascinating. Melvil Dewey, the inventor of the Dewey Decimal System, was born on December 10, 1851.  Did you know he used to require prospective female students to submit their bust sizes?”  I gasp and cover my mouth, which has run away with me again. “I miss card catalogues.” I conclude lamely.

Much to my surprise, he laughs genuinely as he sits back in the booth and he begins to visibly relax. After that the conversation really starts to flow immediately, and we barely pause to order our dinners. He tells me in generic terms about his job, and the topic naturally shifts to environmental policy. It’s not long after that, while he’s regaling me of a camping trip gone wrong with his best friend, that our plates arrive. 

“They have the best fries here,” he tells me. “Have you ever had them?”

“No. I can’t say that I spend a lot of time in DC’s premier steakhouses, and on the rare occasion that has presented itself it didn’t occur to me to order a burnt hamburger and french fries.” I have no idea what has possessed me but teasing him just comes naturally.

“Well you’re missing out,” He insists, immediately scooting over to me in the half-round booth. Something shifts with the sudden change in proximity and I think we both feel it. He freezes for a moment, and I can practically see his mind kick into overdrive as he registers how close he’s sitting to me. 

I’m not sure exactly what to say, but I know I don’t want him to move away from me so I do the first thing I can think of, snatching a fry from his plate while giving him a coy smile.

“Well?” He asks, clearly as relieved as I am for the cover.

“You’re right,” I admit. “They have excellent fries. I think it’s the sea salt flakes.”

“Asparagus?” I offer, attempting to reciprocate. He makes a face of borderline repulsion but politely declines, amusing me. His mother must have drilled some manners into him. 

I lose all track of time as we finish our meals and another drink. I realize just how close we’re sitting to each other, in the dimly lit back corner booth, when the waiter strolls by again, giving us an annoyed glance for holding up the turnover in his section. Josh is only a few inches away from me, his head tilted slightly near mine as he speaks. I notice he’s watching me closely. I try to ignore the intensity of his gaze. 

“You’re beautiful,” he tells me suddenly, and I’m not quite sure how to react. 

I realize I’ve only known this man for a few hours but there’s something about the way that he speaks to me. I can tell he’s not just feeding me a line. I feel myself blush, and I nervously stare at my hands, but I don’t move away. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” he asks, throwing some bills in the folder the waiter left on his last pass. “I know a great little place in Georgetown to grab a late drink.” 

I’m not sure if he’s implying what I think he is, but I find myself hoping he is. There’s a hint of shyness in his voice, and though I’ve read plenty of articles on his reputation, something tells me he’s being genuine. I find myself gently nodding yes and grabbing my purse. We stand and he places one hand on the small of my back and gently leads me through the restaurant towards the exit. My heart is beating faster with anticipation, but as he opens the door and we step out onto the street the cool spring air brings me crashing back down to reality. 

“Josh. Wait.” I stop where I'm standing on the sidewalk, squeezing my eyes together for a moment, trying to gather my thoughts. “I can’t.”

“You can’t?” He looks slightly confused at my abrupt change of heart , but beyond that, I see the concern on his face. “Is everything okay?”

I gently bite my bottom lip. “Everything is great,” I tell him, reaching out to softly touch his bicep in reassurance that he’s done nothing wrong. “It’s just that I really should get home. I told the sitter I’d try to be back by 10, and it’s already after that.”

I can practically see the realization of what I’ve just said wash over him, and disappointment surges within me.  I know what comes next.

“You have kids?” he squeaks out. 

I feel his rejection hit me. Rationally, I’m not surprised at his reaction but I am surprised at how strongly I feel about it. 

“Yes. Two girls, 5 & 3.” I can’t help but smile when I think of them.

His face seems to be frozen in an odd way, though I admit it’s not entirely unattractive. Still, I know what it means. 

This is goodnight. And goodbye.

Chapter Text

I hear a slight buzzing in my ears when she mentions a babysitter. Without any real thought process, I blurt out, “you have kids?”

She smiles; it’s incredible.

 “Yes, two girls, 5 & 3.”

I’m stunned.  Who’s idea was this? Introduce me to a beautiful, funny, intelligent woman, and bam! Instant family? There’s no way I can handle this.

I can see in her eyes that she already knows this.  She had obviously done some research about me before she came here tonight.

She doesn’t look at all surprised when I open a cab door for her.

“It was really nice to meet you.  I had a lovely time.”  Donna offers politely, with just a hint of regret.  Hearing that platitude snaps me from my daze.  My mother, the conniving witch, raised me better than this.

When she holds out her hand, I feel like I’ve been dosed with cold water. Until this moment this night has been too perfect to have it end with a handshake.  So I take her hand and gently kiss the back of it.  

“Donna, the pleasure was all mine.” I assure her. “I’ll . . .”

Her eyes snap to mine, and I cut myself off before promising to call her.  We both know I won’t.  The least I can do is not lie to her about it.

My hand seems to gravitate to the small of her back as I help her into the vehicle.  She gives me the saddest little smile as I close the door and let the cab drive away.  My heart twinges somewhat violently, and I absently rub my chest.

I really liked her.  What a shame.

Instead of grabbing a cab for myself, I decide to walk home. The fresh air could do me some good.  Clear my mind. The whole way home I try not to think about her blonde hair and her alabaster skin.  I try not to remember her laugh or the way she smiled.  I’m definitely not replaying her funny little trivia or how she looked when she stole my french fries.

I don’t have time for this.  We have an election to win.  I can’t wonder what it would be like to spend time with a bright, vivacious woman.

When I get home, I realize I should have gone back to work. There’s plenty to do and I need to get my head back where it belongs.  But since I’m here, I flip on the tvs for company, filling the space with familiar news anchors, and I dig out the education report and dive in.

. . . . . 

The morning flies by and ends up including a completely unexpected trip to the Spanish Embassy.  But I’m thrilled that Leo sent me. I’m always glad when he includes me in International affairs.

I could really use a caffeine boost when I’m done, and it’s practically lunchtime, so I zip into the deli for some sustenance.

As I stand in line, my eyes are drawn to the back of a blonde head, three people in front of me.  The hair color reminds me exactly of Donna’s and I find myself smiling before I shake my head to clear the intrusive thought.

Good grief! I met the woman once.  I don’t have time to be ensorcelled by a woman I have absolutely no business dating.  I’m a workaholic, not a family man, and the sooner my mother and her accomplices get that through their heads the better.

But as the woman orders, I realize that I’m a goner because now I’m imagining Donna’s voice too.  Her lilting little laugh and her pointed little quips.

I don’t know if I’m relieved when she turns around and I discover that I’m not imagining things or mortified to see her again so quickly after I bailed upon learning she had children.

But her face lights up when she sees me and I can’t feel bad about that.

“Josh! Funny running into you.” She declares with absolutely no rebuke.  Well, if she’s fine with it, so am I.

“Yeah, I had a meeting at the Spanish Embassy. I’m just grabbing some lunch.  What about you?”

“Oh.  I work at the West End Neighborhood Library.  I’m on my lunch break. Care to join me?”  She points with her sandwich to a little bistro table outside on the sidewalk in front of the store  and looks at me hopefully.

Aw hell.  I can’t say no to that.

“Sure.  I’ve got time. Let me just grab some food.”

When I join her I see she’s got her food spread out in an orderly fashion on the paper wrapper. An apple, some baked chips, and a turkey sandwich.  She’s also got a biography of Maria Montessori. She must have been planning to read as she ate.  There’s a bookmark holding her place about half-way through.

“So, good book?” I ask as I take the seat across from her.

“Yes.  It’s fascinating. Did you know she had to get a special endorsement from the Pope to go to medical school?  She was one of the first female doctors in Italy. And she was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize in three consecutive years: 1949, 1950 and 1951.”

I enjoy her rambling discourse on the topic.  “I really should introduce you to the President.” I mumble when she pauses for a breath.

Her eyes light up, then cloud over.  “Very funny, Josh.” She spouts in disbelief, but I can hear the disappointment in it, and I don’t like that at all.

“I’m not kidding.” I insist.  “He’d love you.  He loves reading and he loves sharing every bit of trivia that he discovers on any topic.  He’s very erudite.”

“Reading’s fun, Josh.”  She persists, giving me what I can only assume is the librarian eye.

“Hey! You don’t have to convince me!  I spend most of my time reading. I love reading! I’m a total bookworm.”

She eyes me skeptically.  “Okay, Levar Burton, what's the last thing you read?”

“The House Report on Ethnic and Racial Disparities in Education.”

“Okay, wow.  We’ll circle back around to that, because I’ve got some thoughts there.  But I meant what was the last book you read, you know, for fun.”

“Fun?” I parrot with a little laugh, “what’s that?”

“Come on, Josh. You can’t tell me you're a bookworm and not have a novel sitting on your nightstand.”

“Okay, good point. My Mom got me a Ty Cobb biography for Hanukkah. It’s very interesting.”

“You’re a baseball fan?”

“Go Mets!”

She grins at me.  “You’re a Mets fan!”

My heart soars “Don’t tell me, you’re a Mets fan?”  Could it be possible? Maybe she is perfect.

She laughs again.  “No.  I’m from Wisconsin.  But it makes sense that you like the Mets instead of the Yankees.  You seem the type to root for the underdog.”

“Why do you say that?”

“Well, Josh, you left Hoynes, who was the front-runner for the nominee and practically a shoo-in for the Presidency and got a dark horse elected instead.”  She tells me practically, as she stands up and starts to clear her place.

“I’d say that exhibits some underdog tendencies, wouldn’t you?” she asks, taking her trash and dumping it, then returning with an expectant look on her face.

“Um, yeah I guess.” I agree, since that’s obvious what she’s looking for.  I remain seated, a little dazed as she picks up her book and loops her purse over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” I finally stammer.

She laughs lightly again.  “I punch a clock, Josh.  My lunch break is over.  But thanks for joining me.  It was nice.”

She gives a little wave and then walks away.

Chapter Text

I’m exhausted by the time I finally sit down on the couch to catch the 9:00 news and fold a hamper of laundry. I suppose it’s not actually that late, but the girls had more energy than usual tonight and they wore me out. Bedtime took longer than it typically does, and once they were both finally asleep the condo was a disaster. Now that I’ve picked up, I’m going to try to get a load of towels put away and keep my eyes open long enough to see if there is anything on the news.

I’m watching a puff piece on a local high school teacher when my phone rings. I glance at it suspiciously, unsure of the number that’s flashing across the caller ID, but I don’t want the ringing to wake my daughters. They’d never get back to sleep. 

“Hello?” I ask hesitantly. I’m not used to phone calls at this time of night, and it’s too late for telemarketers. I assume this is important. 

“Donna?” 

“Speaking.” I confirm, furrowing my brow. The voice sounds familiar but I can’t quite place it from what sounds like the marginal reception of a cell phone on the other end of the line. 

“Hi. This is Josh Lyman. From dinner. And… ya know... lunch.” 

I almost laugh at the way he introduces himself.  But he sounds so nervous, that I hold back my giggle.  He practically runs the White House! Where’s the ego that I read about?  The man from lunch? That’s how he thinks of himself? 

“Hi.” I can't help the smile that crawls across my face at the realization it’s him. Reflexively, I smooth the messy ponytail my hair is pulled into and smooth the old sweatshirt I’m wearing. I realize he can’t see me, but there’s something about him that makes my heart beat a little bit faster. 

“Listen,” he clears his throat and I hear a small commotion in the background. “There’s going to be this Presidential Commission that I’m working on-- that Report on Education disparities-- and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

He sounds professional, if perhaps a little rushed, but it doesn’t quite add up.

“There’s a Presidential Commission on Education.” I restate. “So you’re calling me?” 

“I was thinking that probably kids that use the library probably don’t have their own computers, and maybe that’s part of the reason but you, know, I don’t really know so I  just figured I’d call and ask you, because you probably know.  Right?”

Seems like a flimsy excuse to call, but I don’t point that out. Instead I find myself jumping at the chance to stay on the phone with him and maybe advocate for a little bit of change in the community as well. 

“It’s not just kids,” I tell him. “But computer access is a very popular resource at the library. It’s a good research tool for school aged children, and we have a few after school programs to help with homework and tutoring. A large part of the curriculum, even at the middle school level, is dependent on a computer and access to the internet, but over 60% of kids in a ten block radius of the library don't have access to either at home.”

“So, how do I fix that?” He seems eager.

“Well I suppose I’m not as familiar with the political process as you are, but I’m not sure this is something that you can personally handle.” I give a little smile on my end of the phone. “Increased funding for computer access programs is a huge step towards closing the education gap for a lot of the kids in this area.”

“What else?” The rustling sound on the other end of the phone has quieted and I hear a heavy door close before the sound of him letting out a quiet sigh, as though he’s sinking into a chair, exhausted. I wonder if he’s as tired as I am, although suddenly I find myself  wide awake and fully alert.

“Well,” I soften my tone, pulling my legs under me on the couch. I know we’re just discussing work but somehow I feel a shift in the conversation, as though things have suddenly grown more intimate. “Let’s start with the basics.” 

It’s crazy, I suppose. He’s a powerful man who has made it pretty clear to me this week that he’s not interested in seeing me romantically. Maybe he just needs a friend, I wonder. Or maybe he’s still just doing Mrs. Landingham a favor by calling to ask me a few benign questions. I think the latter is the most reasonable explanation, but I can't deny that I felt a spark between us earlier. Lunch was, indeed, nice. He’s easy to talk to, and he doesn’t seem to have an agenda. He’s a nice change from other men in this town, and to be truthful, I could use a friend too.

Eventually, I move to my bedroom, in an attempt to keep the house quiet. We talk for over an hour about community resources and library programs. He listens, and asks the appropriate questions. I give him gentle push back when I disagree with him on something and he seems to take my opinion into consideration. 

He’s interrupted rather suddenly, and I hear someone ranting unceremoniously on the other end of the call.

He shoos them away, before returning his attention to our conversation.

“You’re still at work?” I ask, glancing at the clock on my nightstand, it’s almost 11pm! 

“For the moment,” he sighs. “I usually try to leave by 11, but it’s been a long day and now communications needs me to look over a draft.”

“I should let you go then,” I tell him. “I’m sorry I kept you so long. I’m sure you want to get home and get some sleep.” 

“I’m not sorry, talking to you has been the best part of the day.” He’s bold enough to let it hang between us for a few moments.

The truth is, I'm not sorry either. I feel myself smile widely as we exchange good nights.

Chapter Text

My foot is tapping as my fingers drum along while I review Sam’s final draft for POTUS’ remarks later today.  This is good.  Much better than the draft I read last night.

Of course, last night  my mind wasn’t fully focused on the task at hand.  I was still flying from my phone call with Donna.  Even now just sitting here thinking about her I can’t help smiling. 

She’s amazing.

I probably should still  bow out like a gentleman because I’m sure I’m not what she’s looking for.  I work late all the time. I haven’t had a serious relationship in, well, ever. And I don’t really know the first thing about kids.

But running into her at the Deli obliterated my noble intention. It’s like fate put us back together. And now I want to know everything about her.  I might have had some sort of chance at forgetting about her after one date, probably not, but still after two, I’m hooked for sure.  She’s completely captivated me.

Talking to her on the phone last night was the most relaxed I’ve been in years.  The conversation  just flowed so naturally. And I didn’t feel like I had to pretend to be someone else.  She’s both impressed and completely unimpressed by me at the same time.  I don’t know how she does that.

I need to figure out how to see her again. Today if possible.

“What are you grinning about?”  Sam asks as he pops in to check on me. Or more specifically to check to make sure I’m not destroying his life’s work.

“Nothing.” I insist, smirking to myself.  The last thing I want to do is tell anyone about my new friend. I’d rather keep her to myself.

Unfortunately, lunch comes and goes with no chance to sneak out for a sandwich.  I also can’t think of a single reason why I need to go to the library.  Instead, I attend the President’s remarks, wrangle several members of Congress into backing our insurance reform bill, and I convince Leo to let me explore the idea of a Presidential Commission on Education.

Which is great, because now I have a legitimate reason to call Donna tonight.

I’m antsy the rest of the day, but I turn my nervous energy into productivity that manages to impress Leo and rouse Sam’s suspicions, especially when I skate out of the office just before ten so I can call Donna with some measure of privacy.

As soon as I’m in my Audi, I dial her number one handed, not wanting to wait until I’m home to call.  Maybe I should’ve put her on speed dial?

One benefit of driving is that it will only take a few minutes this late at night.  The other benefit was the possibility of a lunch rendezvous, even though it didn’t happen. It occurs to me that I’ve got it bad, but before I can really think about it, Donna answers.

“Hello?”  She sounds less hesitant as she answers.  Dare I hope she was hoping I’d call?

“Hi Donna! It’s Josh.” I greet her, unable to stop smiling as I do.

“Hi Josh,” She chirps in a way that all but convinces me that she was indeed hoping for this.

“How was your day?”  I inquire, settling back into the seat, eager just to hear her talk.

“It was good.  Wednesday is preschool story hour.  Our theme is Spring is in the air.  We read:  The Trampolines that Naidia Built, All About Tigger, and Five Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed.”

“Those are seasonal books?”  I’m confused for a minute until the answer hits me right before she responds.

“No, they’re books about jumping-- with springs!” She laughs and the sound fills me with joy.  “Get it? It’s a play on words!  Then after story time we made our own springs using pipe cleaners and we ate spiral cut zucchini.”

“That’s funny.”  I agree, chuckling.  “Did anyone get it?”

“No.” She admits glumly, only one of the parents even asked, and I think he was just hitting on me.”

My hackles go up when she suggests that someone else is interested in seeing her.  That really won’t do at all.

“Well, I got it.” I inform her proudly, “and I think your talents are being wasted on preschoolers.”

“I like preschoolers, Josh.” She responds softly.  “I didn’t expect them to get it. But I thought the parents might.”

Uh oh! Obviously I just stuck my foot in my mouth.  “I didn’t mean . . .”

The line goes dead for a moment as I try to figure out how to get out of this mess.  I”m tempted to try to say something witty or sarcastic.  But I genuinely feel bad that she thinks that I don’t value her work. 

“I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean that preschoolers were a waste of time. I just meant that it was too bad no one got your joke.  It sounds like you’re good at your job.  I bet the kids had a great day.”

I finally stop rambling and pause a beat, hoping that she’ll accept my apology.  Maybe I should try again.

“Okay. Sorry for the misunderstanding.” She responds softly “I can be a little touchy about it.  Kids are people too, you know.”

“Yes, indeed. In fact I used to be one.”

“Used to?”  She teases.  

“What have you heard?” I ask nervously.

“Secret Plan to Fight Inflation?”  She giggles.

“How’d you . . . . “ I start to ask, but the answer really is obvious.

“Mrs. Landingham.” We both say at the same time.

“Jinx!” I shout. “You owe me a coke.”

“And that’s exhibit 2.” She quips.

“Touche.” I agree.  “But still valid. How about it?  Will you meet me for a coke?  Maybe a rum and coke? I’ll even buy.”

“Are you asking me out?”

“Um, yeah?  I thought we could meet in person.  Maybe talk about the Presidential Commission?”

There’s another long period of silence, but just as I’m wondering if we were disconnected, I hear a small sigh.

“Is this just work or is it a date?”  She asks quietly but bluntly.

Faced with the moment of truth, I suddenly realize I don’t want to play games this time.  Honesty’s the best policy, my mother always said.

“A date.”

“Josh, you know I’m still a Mom, right?” She asks gently.

I do know that.  And shockingly, I’m not all that freaked out about it anymore. I don’t know how this will work, but I want to find out.

“Uh, yeah. Two girls.  5 & 3.  Right?”

“That’s right.”

“What are their names?”

“Emily and Gigi.  Well, actually it’s Giovanna. But I call her Gigi.”

“Wow.  Giovanna.  That’s quite a mouthful.  Where’d you get that?”

“It’s a long story.”

“You could tell me over that drink.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.  I am.”

Chapter Text

“Thanks again for sitting with them. You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?” 

“Not at all, dear. You two have a nice evening.” Mrs. Landingham practically shoos me out my own front door. The cab is waiting for me, and even though it’s a short ride it feels like it takes forever. I’ve been trying not to dwell on seeing him again, but I find myself eager with anticipation. 

I briefly check my reflection in the front door and swipe a bit of lip gloss on before stepping inside. It’s crowded and dimly lit, but I spot him immediately. He’s leaning against the bar talking to two other men, but his gaze is completely focused on me. I give him a shy smile and he immediately ends his conversation, striding over towards me.

“Hi.” I greet him, feeling somewhat lame about the simplicity, but I find myself to be at a slight loss for words. 

“Hi.” He echos, clearly feeling the same way. “You look incredible.” 

I blush at his complement as he gently leads me towards an open table in the back of the lounge. “You’re looking quite dapper yourself.”

“That’s because it’s Tuesday,” he stammers.  And for a minute I wonder if he dressed up for me.

 “And this is your Tuesday suit.” I quip back.  “You assign your clothing days of the week?”

He blushes a little at my teasing, and I find it quite endearing.

“Not really.” He answers, then motions discreetly for a waiter. We place our drink order just as the pianist returns from his break as he begins to play Surrey with the Fringe on Top, I try to think of something clever to say. 

“Did you know that Oklahoma! was shot on location in and around Sonoita, Arizona, because the real Oklahoma in 1955 was so heavily farmed and developed that few suitable areas could be found that resembled the highly-rural and undeveloped Oklahoma of the turn of the century when the musical is set?”

He raises his eyebrows at me in surprise at my outburst. “No, I can’t say that I did.”

I suddenly feel self conscious. I know that sometimes I’m too much for people with my trivia, but it just spills out of me.

“But now I do.” He gives me a smirk. “And you never know when I'll need that.”

“You’re mocking me.”

“No.”

“Josh…’

“Maybe just a little bit.” 

I can’t help it, I break into a huge grin at his playful tone, and his face mirrors mine. 

“I minored in drama,” I tell him, trying to explain my random knowledge on the subject, even though my knowledge of trivia is typically not limited to my academic background.

“Library Science and Drama?” He asks.

“Well, my masters is in library science. During undergrad I double majored in Sociology and political science.”

“Oh my God,” he mutters, staring at me with an enamored look on his face. “You’re the perfect woman, aren’t you?”

I tilt my head to the side and laugh, legitimately amused. “Far from it.” 

His brow furrows as he looks at me. “I don’t know. You seem pretty amazing to me. And I don't  like the implication that someone has made you think otherwise.”

I glance away from him, staring at a blank spot on the wall behind him. I haven’t always had the best self confidence, but I really don't think Josh wants to get into a long conversation about my ex-husband on our second date. 

“You’re very sweet,” I tell him, deflecting slightly.

He gives me an awkward smile, clearly unsure how to respond, before beginning to tell me about the Education Commission he’s overseeing. The man is truly amazing. When he talks about his work it’s easy to get caught up in his passion. As cynical and partisan as most of this town is, Josh really just wants to make the world a better place. 

“Do you want to go some place else?” He asks as my wine glass nears empty. “The cafe at The Ritz is famous for their dessert trolley and they’re open late.”

“That sounds wonderful, but I only have an hour or so. I told Mrs. Landingham I wouldn’t be too late.”

“We don’t have to go over there,” he supplies. “But I’d like to step outside. I can’t hear you over the piano and all of the people at the bar.”

“What?” I say, just to play with him. 

“I can’t hear you over the PIANO!” He shouts, just as the song ends. 

I giggle and he smirks at me, understanding what I just did. 

“Come on, Ado Annie. I seem to remember you promising me a story about how Giovanna got her name. It’s a beautiful night, we can walk through the Mall.”

My heart flutters at the realization he not only remembered there’s a story, but seemed genuinely curious when he asked me about it. 

I take the last drink of my Pinot Grigio and we walk out of the bar with his hand on the small of my back, crossing the street and slowing our pace as we stroll up the sidewalk under the trees. His hand slides from my back to my hip and he pulls me a little closer. I find myself leaning into him slightly. 

“So,” he begins again once we’ve found a rhythm, “Emily and Giovanna?”

“Yes.”

“Pretty names.” He tilts his head curiously.  “Kinda opposite ends of the spectrum.  How’d you get Giovanna after Emily?”

“Well, when we were expecting Emily, after much discussion we agreed on Emily Jane. I wanted Emilia but her father really wanted Emily. Easy to say, easy to spell. He likes things to be neat and orderly. Giovanna, however, is the result of what’s known in suburban Wisconsin as MFNDS.”

“Mafends?”  Josh repeats, perplexed.

 “Moss Family Name Deviation Syndrome.” I explain as if it’s a totally normal thing.

“Moss Family Name Deviation Syndrome!!” Josh repeats, laughing.  “This I have to hear about.”

“Well, my Mother’s Italian, you see. And all throughout her pregnancies with my brothers and I she planned to give us nice, normal names. But there’s something about childbirth that renders the women in my family a little crazy, and we end up with traditional Italian names. And that’s how, in the spur of the moment, the plan for Gigi flew out the window and Anna Maria evolved into Giovanna.” 

While I’m rambling I see Josh’s eyebrows pop up, I can see the wheels turning but he bites his tongue until I pause.

“Donna?”

“What?” I ask.

“Donnnnnaaaa?” he drawls out, expectantly, while I continue to stare him down.

“Don’t keep me hanging, because I’m thinking that you yourself suffer from the Moss  Name Affliction thingy.  So what’s your full name?”

“Donnatella Nicole Moss.”  I blush in embarrassment as I confess.  “Mom’s Italian, Dad’s Irish.”

“Donnatella Nicole Moss.”  He repeats, the syllables rolling off his tongue with a perfect accent. It does something to my loins that I haven’t felt in a while. We’re standing in a dimly lit area near the reflecting pool, a lovely spot on the National mall, and for a minute he looks like he’s going to kiss me, but the moment passes, and we stroll on. I find myself disappointed, but at least his arm is still wrapped around my waist. 

Chapter Text

Her full name rolls off my tongue and I have a sudden unexplainable urge to kiss her. I almost do, but I’m not sure if I should.  Maybe it’s too soon. Then the moment passes. Something flashes in her eyes.  Could it be disappointment?  Was she hoping that I would?

I start another circuit around the reflecting pool, my arm around her waist, and she doesn’t move away from me, so that’s a good sign.

“I’m still not clear how Emily escaped MFNDS.” I admit, hoping to get her to continue with the story.  I love hearing her talk. 

She sighs a bit and I worry that I’ve made a mistake, it seemed like this was a good topic. But after a moment she looks resolved, and  I’m relieved when she starts talking again. 

“My ex-husband was present for Emily’s birth. He was unmoved by my postpartum hormonal pleas that we name her Emilia Juliette. I can still hear him-- “We have a plan, Donna, we’re going to follow the plan.”  

She’s adorable, puffing herself up and adopting a deep voice to act like her ex, wagging her finger in what I hope is exaggeration.  She laughs a little then shrugs.

“He filled out the birth certificate. So she’s Emily Jane, like we agreed.”

It’s a simple explanation and Donna doesn’t seem upset, but what an asshole. Why didn’t they just name her Emilia and call her Emily?  That seems like an obvious solution. If she was mine, she could name the kids whatever she wanted. The thought comes unbidden, but it feels right.  I bite my tongue as she continues the story.

“He wasn’t present for Gigi’s birth. We had agreed on Anna Maria, which was actually a nice compromise we thought would satisfy my Italian urges. But MFNDS struck again, and without him there to stop me  I ended up naming her Giovanna Marielle.  He wasn’t pleased at all when he found out.”  

“Why wasn’t he there?” I’m a bit hesitant to ask because I don’t want her to shut down but I’m also very curious.  Am I going to have to fight off a jealous ex who wants her back?  I don’t know how someone could let this incredible woman out of his sight, let alone miss his child’s birth. 

Donna doesn’t really look upset when she answers. “He was on a submarine in an undisclosed location.” She shrugs like this is just routine. “He didn’t even meet her until she was 9 months old. By then Emily and I and my whole family were calling her Gigi, and it had stuck. Not that he calls her that. He’s the only one that calls her Anna. He says it’s short for Giovanna, but . . .”

“Yikes.” I respond as she trails off.  I’m not really sure what to say. Her ex sounds like a real gomer.

Donna suddenly stops and grabs my arms, with an eyes-wide, worried look. “This is too much, isn’t it? I’ve over shared.” 

Her concern causes funny feelings inside my heart. I don’t ever want her to feel inadequate.

“No! Not at all!” 

I’m a little amazed at myself, because normally this kind of thing would freak me out.  But I’m really not.  I’m fascinated by every part of her.  She’s one of a kind.  I’ve never met anyone like her before and I just want to know everything about her.

“So . . ..How long have you been divorced?” I’m not sure it’s completely appropriate to ask, and I don’t want to upset her, but if she’s newly single I might need to tread very carefully. 

“Almost two years,” she tells me matter of factly. 

“Oh!” I’m a little relieved and the exclamation slips out as I quickly do the math, realizing that if her youngest is three years old, and her ex didn’t even meet the kid until she was 9 months old, he’s been out of the picture for a while.

“It’s been over for a long time.” She confirms softly. “It wasn’t a big, ugly thing. I got married right out of college, because I thought that’s what I was supposed to do, and he was the first guy who seemed interested in me. He was nice enough and had a stable job. It was fine for a few years, because he was never home anyway. But that’s the thing- it was fine . It wasn’t all consuming. I just- I was going through the motions, and so was he. But it wasn’t what he wanted, for many reasons, and I wasn’t really willing to make the sacrifices he thought I should to help his career path. I like my job and I like my hobbies. But that wasn’t the image he was chasing. We both knew it was effectively over, but he was having a hard time admitting it to himself. He doesn’t like to lose, and he saw this as defeat. That’s about the time when we found out I was pregnant with Gigi. She was definitely a surprise. I think he hoped it would make everything all better, but deep down, we both knew it was already over. He’s not a bad guy, I just don’t think he ever really liked me that much.”

Her last comment stuns me. “How could anyone not like you?!” I blurt out.  “You’re amazing!”

Her whole face lights up, and I can’t resist the urge any longer.  I grasp the back of her head and pull her closer, pressing my lips against hers. Just before they touch I realize that I just acted on impulse without getting permission, but that thought evaporates as we make contact.  It’s electric. I’ve never felt like this before.  I’m pulling her closer, trying to go deeper.  If I could give myself to her completely I would, I never want this moment to end.  Donna’s hands are in my hair.  She’s like an inferno, returning my kiss and lighting my soul on fire.

“Hey! Get a room!” Someone shouts good naturedly as they pass by, pulling us both out of the moment.  And it’s a good thing too, because my fingers were dangerously close to undoing the buttons on her blouse. I’m breathing heavily, and a bit mortified.  My mother would be aghast at my manners.

Donna is breathing just as heavily and she’s blushing.  But her smile proves she’s not upset.  God, she’s gorgeous. “I live in Georgetown. We can be there in 10 minutes.” I offer.

“I’m closer.” Donna murmurs, standing and pulling me up, laughing delightedly as we hurry towards the street.

But then her walking slows down, and I feel the mood change.  “Josh. . .”

I know what’s coming and my heart sinks.

“I can’t.”

“I know.”

“My kids are there.  And Mrs. Landingham is expecting me.”

“I understand.”

“But I really want to.”

“Me too.  But I can wait. I can wait as long as it takes. You’re worth waiting for Donnatella Moss.”

Chapter Text

I rush into work, apologizing to my coworker at the front desk for my tardiness. I’m hardly ever late, but it was one thing after another this morning. The power went out last night, so my alarm didn't go off as scheduled. I rushed through my own morning routine, but it’s next to impossible to speed up the girls in the morning. 

Emily is very soft spoken, but she’s particular. She doesn’t like to deviate from her schedule if possible. I realize she largely gets that from me but it isn’t helpful when we’re running late for work and preschool. She’s typically chipper in the morning, but her constant chatter doesn’t speed things along, either. As my own mother often reminds me, she comes by it honestly. 

Gigi, on the other hand, is not a morning person, even at 3 years old. She’s groggy for at least the first twenty minutes she’s awake. I usually plan for this, giving her some time to wake up and settle into her day while I make breakfast and fix Emily’s hair. When we don’t have that twenty minutes, though, we all pay for it. Two meltdowns before we were out the door, a refusal to eat breakfast, and a big sister with teary eyes at the idea that her hair would not be neatly French braided as she’d requested. I try to remind myself that I can’t win them all, but I really hate to disappoint my kids in any capacity. I’m doing the best I can, though, and I remind myself that they’re safe, loved and taken care of. Wearing a headband to preschool for one day instead of a braid isn’t going to scar her for life. 

After coaxing Gigi into a few bites of a granola bar on the walk to school, kissing the girls goodbye and apologizing to the front office for our tardiness, I ran to the stop, only to miss my bus. But I’m here now.

“There’s a man here.” Shelby, the front desk worker tells me without emotion. 

“A man?” I question. 

“I told him to wait in the chair outside of your office.”

“Who is it?” I glance towards the open walkway on the second floor of the library that leads to the administrative offices. I don’t have any appointments scheduled, and rarely do people demand to speak to the librarian. 

She shrugs, clearly not having bothered to ask his name. “He was in a suit. And it seems like he’s had too much coffee.” 

I climb the stairs, curious as to who is waiting for me. I peek around the corner and my face breaks into a smile as I see Josh waiting for me, backpack slung over his shoulder as he reads the bulletin board in the hallway. All of the sudden, my morning is infinitely better. 

“Are you here for the tour?” I offer in a saccharine tone.

He turns to face me and gives me a full dimpled grin. “Good Morning.” 

He pauses for a moment, before shifting slightly and kissing me hello. It’s hard not to melt into him, even with the chaste nature of his greeting. 

“What are you doing here?” I ask. I’m glad to see him, but I’m certainly surprised. 

“I had a few minutes between my morning staff meeting and my appointment on The Hill. I thought I’d bring you a coffee on the way.” He hands me a peppermint latte from the little place near the White House I’d mentioned to him. It’s sweet that he remembered. 

“My office is nowhere near the route from The White House to the Capital,” I tell him with a smirk as I unlock the door to my office. 

“I haven’t seen you in three days,” he half whines, the charade quickly ending. “I've missed you.”

We step inside and I flip on the lights, turning to face him again. I sit my bag down on top of the small bookshelf by the door and immediately gravitate to him. I press my body against his and my thumb grazes his cheek as I kiss him again. My hands rest on the lapels of his suit and I savor the quiet moment with him. “I’ve missed you too.”

I step away from him, taking a deep breath. I’m at work, and I’m not making out with my new boyfriend- if I can even call him that-  in the upper office of a public library. 

“Can you stay for a few minutes?” I ask. “I have a group of first graders coming for a visit at 9 but I’m free until they arrive.” 

“I thought you’d never ask.” He grins, shrugging out of his backpack and placing it in a visitor’s chair before unzipping it and pulling out a small brown bag.

“Bagels.” He informs me. “Or did you already eat?” 

I think of my breakfast that morning, which consisted of the two remaining bites of Gigi’s granola bar because I couldn't figure out where else to put it, and realize that I’m starving. 

“Sounds amazing,” I tell him, rounding my desk to take a seat. I grab two paper plates from the bottom drawer where I keep a few odds and ends, and place them between us as he asks me about a biography of Harry S. Truman that’s sitting next to my mouse pad. 

He leans forward, to hand me an individual size tub of cream cheese he pauses, clearly enamored with something. 

I stop speaking and follow his gaze, realizing he’s just spotted a framed photo of the girls and I taken last winter when we had breakfast with Santa. They’re in their Christmas dresses, perched on my lap with huge smiles on their faces. It’s one of my favorite pictures.

I pause for a moment, waiting to see what he’ll say. He gently reaches out and picks up the frame, closely examining the photo. 

“They’re adorable.” He smiles. “They look just like you.” 

He glances up to me, a n inscrutable look on his face.  A mix of wonderment and bewilderment. I wish I knew exactly what he's thinking. I'm falling in love with this man, but my kids are my world.  I have to put them first.

“Thank you.” I tilt my head. 

I watch him as he begins looking around the room with a far more critical eye. I can tell he’s taking closer note of the small pieces of artwork on the cork board and the messily painted pencil cup on my desk. 

“What’s this one?” He questions, taking a step over to a small lump of clay next to a small succulent that the girls gave me for my birthday. 

“It’s a kitten.” I explain. His brow furrows as he stares at it intently. 

“I should have known.” He chuckles.

“It’s abstract.” I kid.

“But the purple glitter paint really does give it away.”

I let out an amused puff of air.

“Who made it?” He questions, looking back to me for a response. His interest is surprising, but endearing.  

“Emily.” I tell him. “We do a craft hour at day camp in the summers. She made it last year. She loves animals.”

We look at it for a moment longer, until he catches a glimpse of my clock. 

“I have to go,” he tells me somewhat wistfully. “I’ve been told that I’m supposed to be cooperative this morning.”

I laugh, agreeing that I should get ready for the first graders as well.

“When can I see you again?” he asks.

Chapter Text

I leave the hill with a spring in my step.  Leo will be thrilled with the agreement I’ve reached with leadership.  I was incredibly cooperative, but I also got everything I wanted.  I should meet with Donna before every meeting.  Spending time with her put me in a great mood.  

Seeing photos of her girls gave me a whole new level of motivation.  I’ve always wanted to make the world a better place, but I’ve never actually known the little people that would benefit from it.  Now I’m dying to meet them.  Two little versions of Donna, it’s mind boggling, but I already think that I could love them.  I can imagine us going to the park, and the zoo, and the museums.

A family.

I stop suddenly. I could have a family.  My heart starts to beat rapidly.  But it's not in terror.  It’s anticipation.  Maybe I could do this .

As I get back to my office, I’m tempted to close the door and call Donna.  I want to hear her voice. I want to tell her about my day.  But I have 100 things to do, and Leo demanded that I report in as soon as I return, so I’ll just have to wait until tonight.  I have no idea how I’m supposed to wait until Saturday to see her.

“Seventy-two hours! That’s got to be a record.” Sam declares, popping into my office with a six pack.

“Josh Lyman, you just shepherded a welfare reauthorization bill from bi-partisan agreement to signed legislation in 3 days, what are you going to do now?”  He continues in a sports announcer voice.

“I’m going to Disney World!” I declare, knowing that’s my line.  But then I have an image of Donna and me, each holding on to a blonde little girl wearing mouse ears, and I suddenly really do want to go to Disney World.  What’s wrong with me?

I also have no desire to have a beer with Sam.  I want to celebrate with Donna.

“Earth to Josh!” He teases. “You look lost.  Did this break you?

“No, no.  I’m fine.  I insist, glancing at the clock behind him.  It’s only 8:00pm.  Donna’s still putting the girls to bed.  But in an hour I can call her.  Or better yet.  I could pick up champagne and stop by in person.  I’ve been working like crazy for the last three days, and the nightly phone calls have been just enough to keep me going, but I really want to see her, and I’m not going to make it two more days until our date. 

“Josh?”

“Yeah, Sam?”

“I asked if you want a beer.”

“Can I get a rain check?  I think I’m just going to get out of here.”

He looks a little surprised, but nods. “Okay.  Good job, man.” He offers as he turns to leave. 

I wonder if I should have asked him for the beer.  Nah, Donna had a pinot grigio at Wilson’s. That’s probably a safe bet.  Maybe a Sweet Riesling?  I’ve got enough time to stop on the way.  There’s a wine store near her condo in Foggy Bottom. I’ll ask the owner for a recommendation.

Now that Sam’s gone, I take a few moments to put some files in my backpack.  Although I do want to get out of here before anyone stops me, there’s no point in getting to Donna’s before 9.  I don’t want to disrupt bedtime.  It’s never been an issue because I’m usually not done with work much before that, but one time she mentioned that her Mom had called and threw the entire household into a tizzy.  And contrary to popular opinion, I really do pay attention, and I am capable of learning from other people’s mistakes.

Once I have a few files, just in case my evening doesn’t go as planned, I tiptoe to the door and crack it open to sneak a peak before I make a quick escape.  It’s not that I’m doing anything wrong, but it’s also not unheard of to get sucked into the Oval Office for a late night lecture on the National Parks.  And if the President knows where I’m going he might torture me on purpose.  

Once I’m out of the building, I can relax.  I’d make a good spy.  I’m pretty stealthy.  Waving to the night watch, I head left towards G Street.  Donna lives close enough that there’s really no reason to grab a cab, and if I go this way I can stop at McReynolds for the wine.  They always have a great selection. 

As I walk I find myself compulsively checking my watch, anticipating the dial reading 9:00 so I can call Donna.  I can’t wait to hear her voice.

Once I have a chilled Traverse Bay Sweet Reisling in a bag, I pop next door into the Godiva.  They’re open late specifically to cater to men coming home late from work.  In this town that’s a huge clientele.  The gold wrapped boxes of fancy truffles are placed conveniently  by the front door so I’m in and out in under five.

I pull my cell phone from my pocket and hit the speed dial button where I’ve programmed her number. She picks up on the second ring. I smile as soon as her voice comes through the line.

“Perfect timing.” She answers. “How was your day?”

“It was actually pretty good. But I hope it’s about to get better.”

“What do you mean?” She asks. I can hear her roaming around the house, closing the door to the dryer. 

“Is there any chance-- I want to see you.” I blurt out. “Can I come over? I thought maybe we could have a glass of wine on your front stoop.”

I’m ready to explain that I don’t need to come inside- I don’t want to interrupt their nightly routine or make anyone uncomfortable. I know we’ve kept her girls separate from our relationship thus far. 

“I’d love that.” she tells me, before I have a chance to be nervous about the offer. 

“Great.” I grin, bouncing on the balls of my feet. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”

Chapter Text

Five minutes! Is he insane?  I rush to the bathroom to check my hair and make-up.  Ugh. At this point in the day, I resemble a raccoon.  A raccoon that’s been on a three day bender.  A three day bender that ended in the slammer.

I splash some water on my face and quickly scrub off the evidence of the long day.  Then I pull my hair out of the pony tail, turn upside down and tease it with my fingers, when I flip it back up and look in the mirror, rather than the sexy casual look I was hoping for, it looks like I just rolled out of bed.  Good grief.  I end up just throwing it up into a messy bun on the top of my head.

I guess that just about completes the harried housewife look, because I’m out of time to change out of my yoga pants and hoodie.  Well, if this doesn’t scare him away, nothing will.

Still, I can’t help but smile when I peek out the window and see him standing on the porch trying to decide if he should knock.  He lifts his hand and puts it back down three times before he notices me staring at him.

Rather than scowling in annoyance, he breaks out into an enormous grin, dazzling me with his dimples.

I can’t wait a moment longer, yanking open the door and rushing outside to throw my arms around him.

“That wasn’t locked?” He asks in concern.  “Donna!”

“Relax, McGruff, it was locked until you got here. I was just enjoying your indecision for a second. It’s nice to know that you’re human like the rest of us.”

Josh bursts into laughter and spins me around.  “Donnatella Moss, you’re one of a kind.”

He gives me a kiss before putting me down, and shows me the bag that holds wine he brought over. “Do you want to grab a couple of glasses and a corkscrew?” He asks, pulling out the bottle.

“Sure. Let’s get it on some ice, too.” I tell him, opening the door and stepping inside. He hesitates on the other side of the threshold and it takes me a moment to realize why he’s paused.

“They’re asleep, Josh.” I tell him. “Let’s grab a few things from the kitchen and then we can sit out here and enjoy the nice weather.”

He follows me inside, a silent version of his usually animated self, as he looks around. 

“This place is great,” He whispers enthusiastically.

“Josh, you don’t have to whisper.  You can talk in a regular voice.”

He salutes comically. “Nice place.”

“Thanks. It’s nothing fancy but it’s home,” I shrug, glancing around the open kitchen and living area. I typically try to keep it tidy, but it's an uphill battle and, given the time of day, there are several toys scattered around. 

“Oh! I brought you these.” Josh pulls out a gold box of chocolates tied with a satin ribbon. 

“These are my favorite,” I exclaim softly. “How’d you know?”

He chalks it up to a lucky guess as I carefully lift the cover on the box, offering him the first choice. He declines, but watches me closely as I choose a double chocolate raspberry. I savor the confection and thank him again.

He’s leaning comfortably against the kitchen counter as I reach into the cabinet next to him to pull down some stemless glassware. My T-shirt rides up as I stand on my tiptoes to reach the top shelf. His hand finds the bare skin at my waist as he helps me balance. I know it’s benign, but I don’t want it to be. I turn my attention from the glassware to him, pressing my body into his as our lips meet. His hands drift to my hips and my arms encircle his neck as he turns us slightly, lifting me into the counter as my legs wrap around his waist. His thumbs graze across the bare flesh of my stomach and his lips trail down my neck. 

I left out a soft moan and shift slightly in his embrace. His actions slow and then stop. He kisses me tenderly before leaning his forehead against mine. 

I’m breathing heavily, and practically aching for him. 

“We shouldn’t do this,” he tells me. “Not here. Not... now. I want to, God I want to, but I don’t want it to be a hurried moment. I want you to be able to relax. And besides, that’s not why I came over tonight. I really did just miss you.”

I want him so badly, but I know that rationally nothing can happen right now. 

“I missed you too.” My eyes flutter closed and I savor the quiet moment with him. 

Eventually he gives me a quick peck on the lips and shifts slightly away from me. “How about that drink?” He asks, picking up the wine glasses from the counter. 

We pour two glasses and head outside, sitting next to each other on the steps. 

We sit quietly for a minute just enjoying each other’s company and the wine, which is excellent, and the warm spring evening.  He wraps his arm around me and I can’t help but think about how great it feels.  I’m pretty independent and I’ve made a great life for my girls, but having some adult companionship at the end of the day this is what I want.  It’s what I didn’t have in my marriage but it’s absolutely what I want.  And it’s pretty crazy to feel this way, but I’m already starting to think it might work with this man. There’s no doubt that physically, we’re both ready to take this to the next level, and that means I’m going to need to start thinking about what comes after that, because as nice as this is, I’ve got to make my girls the main focus.

“So, you had a good day.  Is this a celebration of sorts?” I ask in a teasing voice to try to get our minds off that fact that five minutes ago we were about to tear each other’s clothes off in my kitchen.

His lips quirk up a bit and at least one of his dimples pop out.  “Yeah.  I’m da man!  I got the welfare re-authorization bill passed in record time.  Sam wanted to celebrate, but I just wanted to be with you. I missed you.”

My heart stutters and trips a little.  Sometimes he says the sweetest things.

“I missed you too.”  

“Is it weird?”  Josh asks a little hesitantly.  “To feel like this, I mean, so quickly?  I haven’t ever felt like this before.”

“I don’t know.  I haven’t felt like this before either.”

I lean my head to the side and rest it on his shoulder. I could sit here all night.

Chapter Text

As I pull the Audi up in front of Donna’s, I’m not sure what to do. Manners dictate that I get out of the car, ring her doorbell, and hand her the roses currently sitting on the passenger seat.  But it’s not quite 7pm.  She said she wanted to get the girls dinner before we went out, but  I’m sure they’re still awake and Donna hasn’t invited me to meet them yet.

After our discussion on Thursday I’m pretty sure I’ll get to meet them soon, but I don’t want to push her.  There are other things I’m also anxious for, but again, I don’t want to push.  At least we’ll get lots of time together tonight and I’ve got big plans.

Dinner at Kinkead's.  An evening stroll through the Naval Observatory.  And then dessert at Galileo.  Her babysitter isn’t expecting her home until after midnight.  Donna’s pretty excited about five glorious hours of grown up time.  And I have to say, I’m really looking forward to it myself.

Just as I’m about to call Donna to figure out what to do, her front door pops open.  I see her wave and then close the door behind her.  When she turns to look at me, I can see the giant smile on her face.  If I wasn’t already sitting, I think my knees would give out.

“Hey,” she breathes as she opens the door--- ugh! I should have jumped out and opened it for her, I’m such a tool!

“Oh! Are these for me?”  She grabs the flowers as she climbs in and immediately puts her face in them and takes a long sniff.   When she looks back up at me she’s practically glowing.  “Thanks, They’re beautiful.”

“Not as beautiful as you.”

“Josh!” She hisses still grinning but now also blushing.  I feel myself stirring in my pants and I’m really glad I’m still sitting.  If this is my reaction every time she smiles at me, it’s going to be a long night.

“Sorry I didn’t get out and meet you at the door.  I wasn’t sure what the proper protocol was.”

“No problem.  I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too.  I’ve got reservations at  Kinkead's for 7:30.  I thought we could take the long way.  I love the way the City looks in the evening.”

“That sounds great, but I have another idea.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.  What if we cancel the reservation, order take out, and go back to your place.”

“Back to my place?” I repeat a little dumbfounded, my brain isn’t really following, but another part of me immediately recognizes what a great plan this is and stands at attention. 

“Yes,” Donna drawls in an incredibly sexy voice, “back to your place.  I thought we could pick up where we left off in my kitchen.”

The look she’s giving me leaves me with no confusion as to her intention.  

“Excellent idea.  Put your seat belt on.”

As soon as the buckle clicks, I take off.  I’ve never wanted to get home so fast.  I’ve already spent so much time imagining what her skin looks like under her demure sweater sets.  I can’t wait to find out.

At a stop sign I manage to pull my phone out of my pocket and flip it to her.  “Chinese is 6.  Pizza is 7.  You pick.  I’ve got a 6 pack of Sam Adams in the fridge but if you want wine we’ll need to stop.  Speak now or forever hold your peace.”

Donna laughs in delight.  “Beer is fine, but if we order the food now.  It’s gonna be cold by the time we get to it.”

“Good god, woman, are you trying to kill me?”  I growl playfully.  “I’m trying to drive here, and I’d like to get us there in one piece.”

She laughs again and I’m momentarily mesmerized by the way her throat moves.  Then the car behind me honks lightly and I shift into gear.

Thank goodness, it’s not far.  I really need to get my hands on her soon.  I manage to keep my eyes mostly on the road, and soon we’re pulling into my spot beside the building.

“Stay there.” I insist as soon as the car jerks to a stop.  Fumbling with the belt, and practically flinging the door open, I manage to escape the vehicle.  I slam my door shut and race around to her side so that I can prove my status as a gentleman and open hers for her.

“My lady.” I offer taking her hand to help her out and then wrapping it around my arm so I can escort her inside.

“What a gentleman.”  She teases, clearly enjoying my exaggeration.

“Don’t get used to it.” I tease back, “once we’re in the kitchen, all bets are off.”

“The kitchen?”  She repeats, her forehead wrinkling adorably.

“You said you wanted to pick up where we left off.”  

“Right.  Yes.  Good.” Donna quickly agrees but I hope she is not just placating me.  Maybe I’m going too fast?

I’m a little concerned and contemplating how to slow down without ruining the mood, but as soon as we get through the door and it closes behind us, Donna’s on me.  She presses her body into mine and kisses me like I’ve never been kissed before.

Her aggressiveness is a huge turn on, and I respond in kind.  Soon our mouths are battling for dominance and our hands are all over each other’s bodies.  It isn’t long before she’s pulling my shirt out of my pants and running her hands up and down my back.

Everywhere she touches comes alive and once she starts touching me I have to find out what her skin feels like too. I slide the zipper down her back and dip my hand into the opening, sliding around her waist.  It’s heavenly.  She’s soft and smooth and more curvy than I imagined.

My hand rises upward until I touch the rigid line of her bra.  Touching isn’t going to be enough. I need to see her!

I pull my hand back out and stop kissing her long enough to reach up to her shoulders.

“Can I?” I manage to gasp as I grip the straps of the dress ready to pull them down.

“Yes!” She hisses emphatically.  That’s all the encouragement I need to peel it away from her body.  If I was in a better state of mind, I might take my time and savor this moment, but I just want her naked as quickly as possible.

She doesn’t seem to want to slow down either because her hands join mine in getting rid of this barrier between us.  She shoves it to the floor and immediately steps out of it.

Then she’s standing before me in a matching blue lace bra and panties.  I can see her nipples puckering as I stare.  She’s perfect.  And for a second I’m frozen.

But I recover quickly because my brain isn’t in charge any longer.  My hands reach out and delicately trace her breasts, fondling them gently before I capture her mouth in another searing kiss.

As we devour each other, my hands continue their exploration down her back, gliding until they reach the satiny softness of her ass. It’s bare so she must be wearing a thong.  I groan into her mouth and grow impossibly harder in my pants, which she’s now working to get off me as quickly as possible.

My shirt is hanging open, I’m not even sure when she unbuttoned it, and as my pants start to fall, she switches to pushing the shirt off my shoulders. 

She growls a bit in frustration and I know exactly how she feels.  This isn’t going fast enough.  I use all my will power to stop kissing her so that I can yank the shirt off and step out of my pants, then I take her hand.

“Let’s take this to the bedroom.  I don’t really want our first time to be on the kitchen floor.”

“Lead the way.” She answers in a voice that promises the best evening of my life.

Chapter Text

I’m laying, tangled in Josh’s sheets as my breathing evens out. There’s a smile on my face I can’t wipe off as he wraps his arms around me. He rolls over to face me, propping his head up on his arm as his free hand gently floats up and down the side of my stomach. He grins at me and leans down for a slow kiss.

“Hi,” he chirps, his brain is clearly still a bit foggy.

“Hi there,” I parrot. 

“That was nice.” 

“It was very nice,” I agree huskily. “Both times.” 

We stare at each other, completely enamored, for a few moments. 

“I seem to remember promising you dinner,” he tells me eventually. 

“Yes. But I’m not sure I’m ready to get out of bed.” 

“It’s only long enough to eat,” he tells me as he buries his face in the crook of my neck. “And I think you’ll need your nourishment for later.”

He stretches a bit and gets up, shuffling over to where his boxers were haphazardly discarded to retrieve them. I sit up, holding his blanket against my chest as I watch him.  He has a really nice ass.

Once he has his boxer on he pauses long enough to notice me watching him.  “Hey.  Turn about’s fair play.” He harasses me, “drop the blanket, let me see.”

“It’s too cold in here.” I fuss.  “And my clothes are still in a pile on the floor out there.”

Josh gives me a calculating look.  “Show me your boobies and I’ll give you a hoodie.” He offers.

“My boobies?! What are we, in college?” I shoot back at him even as I lower the comforter to give him a good look.

It is in fact a little chilly and between the room temperature and the smoldering look he’s giving me, my nipples quickly pebble.

I give him a few seconds, then demand payment.  “All right.  That’s enough! Gimme some clothes!”

He can’t stop grinning as he saunters to his closet and pulls a maroon sweatshirt off the top shelf and throws it at me.  I quickly yank it over my head then climb out of bed.  It barely skims the tops of my thighs, but it covers what it needs to.

Josh groans audibly. “You’re right.  Maybe we don’t need to eat.”

“Oh no.  Too late.  You promised me food.  And you’d better eat too.  The need for nourishment goes both ways.”

“Alright, alright.  Let me go get my phone and we can order.”  He looks around then shrugs and walks back to his dresser and opens a drawer.  When he pulls out a tshirt, I feel a pang of disappointment that he’s going to cover his chest.  That’s when the scar registers in my brain.

I must have gasped out loud because he pauses before he looks down.  Then looks back at me.  I must look as stricken as I’m feeling because he walks over to me and takes my hand.  He leads me back over to the bed and we perch on the edge, our bodies slightly turned towards each other.

“I’m sorry.  I thought you saw this earlier.”  He offers sheepishly, gesturing to the scar bisecting his chest.

“Does it hurt?” I run a finger gently down the length of it. It’s a smooth raised line, just a little darker pink than the rest of his skin, mostly hidden by the hair on his chest, but now that I’m looking at it, it seems to stand out.  I feel horrible for not noticing it sooner.

He inhales sharply and I stop, my eyes going wide. “Sorry!”

“No, no, it’s okay. It doesn’t hurt.  It just tickles a little when you do that.  No one’s really ever done that before.”  He pauses, “it actually feels kind of nice.”

With that encouragement, I smooth my finger over it again.  

“You know about Rosslyn, right?” He asks softly and I nod.

“Yes.  We were here when it happened.  Such a horrible thing. I lit a candle for you and the President, and the girls included you in their prayers.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re not in pain anymore are you? You’re fully recovered?”

“Pretty much.  I had a lot of physical therapy. There’s a little stiffness sometimes, but I manage.”  He hesitates a second, then picks up my hand and kisses it.  “I had, um, a lot of other therapy too.  You know, with a therapist, um.  I was having some nightmares.  And um, some mood swings.”

“PTSD?” I ask gently. It doesn’t take a doctorate in psychology to guess.

“Yeah.” He admits, “how’d you know?”

“It’s not uncommon in my ex-husband's line of work.”

“Ah, okay.  You, um, don’t seem freaked out.”

“Did you think I would be?”

He shrugs in uncertainty and my heart tugs a little.

“You said you got therapy.  Are you better?”

“Yes.  We get better.  That doesn’t mean I won’t ever have another episode.  But I haven’t had one in more than 18 months.  And I have a monthly check-in, which I keep religiously.  It’s just something that’s part of my life now.”

“Good.  I’m glad you’re better.  And thanks for telling me.” I lean over and give him a slow, sweet kiss. I don’t know if he thought I would go running for the hills, but I want him to know he didn’t scare me away.  

He smiles at me in a way that melts my insides.  “Now, Pizza or Chinese?” He asks.  “I need my energy, because I’m not done with you.”

“Pizza?” I don’t really care that much, but I think pizza would be faster, and I’m not done with him yet either.

“Toppings?” He asks raising an eyebrow, like this might be the biggest test of all.

“Hawaiian?  Bacon, Pineapple & Ham?”

“Pineapple on pizza?”  He teases, “you’re one of those people?”

“Would you rather have black olives and mushrooms?”

“Ewww, no.  I can live with pineapple.”  While he orders, I freshen up a bit in the bathroom.

When I join him in the kitchen, he’s pulled a couple of beers out of the fridge and is gathering some paper plates and napkins. So I take a moment to take a look around his kitchen. He’s got an old 1950s chrome table with bright red vinyl cushions on the chairs.  It’s fun. His appliances look like top of the line, and it looks pretty clean in here.  I wonder if he pays someone to do it.  

“So, what do your girls like on their pizza?”  He asks, as he hands me one of the beers.  The surprise must show on my face.

“What?” He wonders, “am I being nosy?  I thought this might be good information to have.”

“No, no.  They like only cheese.  That’s why I had to use this opportunity to get grown up pizza.”

“Ah! I’m going to get along with them just fine. It’ll be 3 to 1 on the Pizza topping vote.”  He informs me smugly.

I’m stunned.  

“You’re making that face again.”  He notices.

“I’m just a little surprised that you’re planning a pizza coup.  It kinda seemed like you weren’t into kids-- that first night.  The date ended pretty quickly after I mentioned them.”  I point out.  “I’m not mad, but we should probably talk about this at least a little before we go too far.  I know they might seem like baggage to you.  But they’re my whole world, Josh.”

“I don’t think they’re baggage!” He insists. “I like kids.  I’ve just never really had a chance to spend much time around any of them. But  I’d really like to meet yours.” 

Chapter Text

“Okay, Josh, you can do this.  They’re just little girls.  There’s nothing to be frightened of.”  On  the walk to Captain Cookie,  I give myself a pep talk. I get a few strange looks, muttering out loud, but I'm fairly immune.

I stop two stores away from my destination to check my appearance in the window.  It’s only in the couple months that I’ve started caring how I look.  Ever since Donna told me that I looked good in blue.  As a result I’m in a dark blue oxford, jeans and loafers.  If anyone asks I’ll deny having changed three times.  Not that I have many casual clothes to choose from.  It was too warm for my navy sweater and the golf shirt and cargo shorts made me look like a dork.  Not that making me look like a dork is that hard.

I even got a haircut yesterday. I just want everything to go well.  You only get one chance to make a first impression.  And kids can be ruthless.

Glancing at my watch I see I’m out of time to stall, I certainly don’t want to keep the girls waiting.  I’ve been anxious to meet them for several weeks.

I feel a thrill of joy shoot through me when I spot Donna coming towards me just a few minutes after I sit down at a picnic table out front.  This bakery in Foggy Bottom is the perfect meeting spot, close enough for both of us to walk from home. 

Donna is talking to the girls as they walk, Emily, the older one is on one side of her, holding hands, swinging their arms between them.  Donna is pulling the little one, Gigi, in a plastic wagon.

My heart stops for a minute.  It’s such a sweet moment.  I’ve alway thought I was immune to those, but I find myself desperately wanting to be a part of it.  I really hope the girls like me.

“Hi Josh!” Donna greets me brightly as she arrives.  I’d really like to greet her with a kiss, but we agreed to hold off on any public displays of affection in front of the girls until they have a chance to get to know me.  It makes perfect sense, but it’s harder than I expected it to be.  I want to touch her.

“Hello.” I offer, unsure what to do with my hands, so I shove them into my pockets.

“Girls, this is my friend Josh. Josh, this is Emily.”  She taps the girl on her head.

“Hi Emily.” I smile at her, and her mouth tips up in the slightest.  Donna looks at her and raises her eyebrows without saying anything.

“Hello.” Emily answers shyly, quickly glancing away.

“Me too!” The little one insists, reaching up for Donna, who plucks her out of the wagon.

“And this is Giovanna Marielle.”  Donna adds jiggling the girl on her hip a little.

“I’m Gigi!” The baby insists.

“Hello, Gigi.” When I speak directly to her, she grins at me, showing all her adorable little teeth and I feel my heart flip in my chest.  I can’t help but to grin back.

“Have you been here before?”  I ask the girls.  This location is fairly new, but I’ve stopped by a couple times. CJ is hooked on these cookies so they make a great peace offering. They’ve got me out of a jam with her more than once.

They both shake their heads in the negative.

“Do you like cookies?”

“YES!” Gigi shouts, while Emily just nods again.

“And ice cream?”

“Yes!”

“Well, should we go inside and check it out?” 

Emily looks at Donna hopefully, and when Donna nods yes, I see the first smile from the little girl.  It’s just as breathtaking as her sister’s. 

I hustle over to the door and hold it open for the ladies.  Donna goes first, still holding Gigi.  Emily is right behind her, but as she passes by she says “thank you” in a clear voice.  Very polite.

Once we are inside, Donna shows Gigi the cookies behind the glass case.

“What would you like?” I ask Emily, hoping that now that we’ve broken the ice she’ll talk more. 

“Vanilla, please.” She answers immediately, but still speaks so softly I can barely hear her, but she has the sweetest little voice. 

“You know,” I whisper conspiratorially, “you can have cookies AND ice cream.  They make ice cream sandwiches here.  It’s their speciality.”

Again, Emily checks with Donna before she responds.  “Okay.”

“So what kind of cookies would you like?”

“Those!” She answers, eyes going wide, and pointing at the Funfetti cookies that are absolutely covered in sprinkles.  I’m totally enjoying the look of delight on her face.

“You know, you can actually get two kind of cookies.  The top and bottom don’t have to be the same.”

The look she gives me is one of horror and disbelief.  “No, thank you.” She responds slowly and clearly, “they need to be the same.”

“Ahkay.” I agree sheepishly.  I feel like I’ve made a bit of a mistake.  But Donna just smiles at me in a reassuring way.

“It’s okay that you want yours to match, Emily.  But I think Gigi and I are going to get two kinds, aren’t we, sweetcheeks?”

“Uh huh.”  Gigi agrees.  “Sprinkles.”

“Yes,” Donna nods, “and Snickerdoodle.  And what kind of ice cream should we get?”

“Pink!” Gigi exclaims. 

“Strawberry,” Donna translates for me in an aside. 

“Funfetti, Strawberry, and Snickerdoodle.” I repeat to the teenager in a paper hat before turning back to Donna.

“Are you sure about that?  Strawberry and Snickerdoodle is an interesting combination.  You can have your own sandwich, you know.”

“Oh, I know!  But Gigi will never eat a whole one on her own, and I certainly don’t want a whole one.  I’ll eat my cookie.  Gigi will eat most of the ice cream and make a mess out of her cookie.  We’re fine.”

“Okay.”  I agree.  “Sounds like a plan.”

Emily seems to light up when I mention the word plan, and I make a mental note to ask Donna about that.

“And for you, sir?”  The teenager prods as a line forms behind us.

“I’ll have Ginger Molasses with Vanilla Ice Cream, please.”  I’d kinda like to try the Peanut Butter as well, but after Emily’s reaction to non-matching cookies, I don’t want to get on her bad side.  We’ll just have to come back again another time.

The teenager hands me a number.  “You can have a seat.  We’ll bring it to you when it’s ready.”

We head to a booth and Emily slides in toward the window, so I take the spot across from her.  Donna produces wipes and cleans both girls hands, so I hold mine out as well.

Gigi giggles. But Emily looks impressed, so I’m glad.  Donna rolls her eyes and just hands me a wipe.

“I help you!” Gigi announces slipping off the seat next to Emily and crawling under the table and re-emerging next to me.

“Ahkay.” I agree, handing her the wipe and holding my hands up.  She swipes them all over.  Then climbs up onto my lap.

Well okay.  I guess I’m halfway there.

Another teenager in a paper hat arrives with our ice cream sandwiches within a few minutes.

“Look, Mama!” Gigi exclaims, startling me a bit with her enthusiasm as she bounces and points to the tray. “Ice cream!”

“Don’t. Shout.” Emily tells her sister pointedly.  She doesn’t seem particularly upset by Gigi’s outburst, in fact, it seems like this might be a fairly common occurrence, especially since Donna just shrugs at me and after Emily’s reprimand, Gigi settles back down in my lap. It’s an interesting dynamic.

Donna has to give me several more wipes by the time we finish eating our treats, and my shirt is probably going to be stained, but I’m having a great time, and I definitely don’t want it to end.

I make eye contact with Donna and hope she sees how much I want this day to continue.  She gives me a slight nod of permission, letting me know I can propose part two of our plans.

I bounce Gigi a bit in my lap, but look Emily in the eye.

“So . . .  does anybody want to walk to the park?”

Chapter Text

Josh suggests the park and the girls’ eyes light up. There’s a playground within walking distance that is one of their favorites. I feel my own smile grow, too. Since he’s suggesting the park maybe he’s enjoying this. I know I am. 

We clean up from the ice cream, Josh bussing the table as I try to get some of the sticky off of Gigi, who didn’t hold back on the ice cream, and then Emily, who already used her napkin. 

Josh holds the door for us again as we exit. The perfect gentleman. I deposit Gigi into the little wagon, and place my bag in there with her. 

“Glasses, Mama. Please.” She requests before leaning forward to peer into my bag. 

I pull out a pair of children’s sunglasses and she puts them on her face with a smile. 

“You look pretty cool in those.” Josh gives a little chuckle. 

Gigi stares up from where she’s seated and grins wildly at him. I think it’s safe to say she likes him, and the feeling seems to be mutual. 

We walk down the sidewalk towards the park, and pause at the crosswalk. The light turns to walk and Josh begins to step out. 

“Don’t forget to look both ways, Mr. Josh.” Emily gently reminds him as she takes his hand in addition to mine. She’s a very cautious child, but I have to admit I’m glad the reminders I’ve tried to teach her about safely crossing the road are sticking. 

We slow down a bit once we enter the park, walking at a leisurely pace. The bushes are in full bloom, and Emily slows to take a closer look. 

“There’s a butterfly on that flower.” she tells me excitedly, slowing down to approach the fence that holds in the garden. “There’s lots of them!”

“They’re very pretty,” I agree, nodding my head.

Josh stands with us, reading the small plaque that is mounted to a wrought iron stand. 

“They’re called butterfly bushes. Buddleia davidii, ” he announces in perfect latin, skimming the posted information about the garden.

“What else does it say?” Emily asks curiously, taking a step closer.

“Um, well,” Josh glances back at the small display. “They grow up to 12 feet, and produce nectar, making them a popular choice to attract several species of butterfly.”

“Wow.” Emily glances through the fence to the garden, before turning back to Josh. “Do you think there is a chrysalis in there?”

HIs facial expression gives away his surprise at her question, but he recovers quickly. 

“I’m not sure,” he crouches down beside her. “Do you see any?” 

Emily peers intently at the plants, and I can't help but to reach out and gently touch Josh’s shoulder. He’s amazing with them, and today is going better than I could ever have dreamed. 

“Emily just read a book about caterpillars and butterflies, didn’t you Em?”

“Yes.” She responds sweetly. “I borrowed it from the library where my Mommy works.”

“Ah.” I see Josh begin to understand that the use of the word chrysalis was perhaps not so random. “Well that’s great. It sounds like you learned a lot. Do you like to read?”

“Yes.”

“What’s your favorite book?” He asks.

“Junie B. Jones.”  She answers quickly, naming her favorite series.

Josh looks confused and Emily immediately picks up on that.  “Have you read a Junie B. Jones book before, Mr. Josh?”

“No, I can’t say that I have.” He answers matter of factly.

“They’re very good.” She tells him, in her serious little way. 

I’m thrilled when Josh nods in agreement.  I love that he’s having a grown-up conversation with Emily.  It’s definitely the way to her heart.  She likes people who don’t treat her like a child.

“Mama!” Gigi interrupts from the wagon, pointing towards the playground. “Swings!”

“May I play on the swing set,” I correct her. She can be demanding when she gets excited. “And yes, you may. Em, do you want to swing?”

“Okay.” She agrees happily.  She may not like to be talked to like a child, but when it comes to swings, she’s still a little kid.

Josh straightens up and takes her hand.  She beams at him as we make our way to the play equipment. 

Josh gives Emily a few pushes on the swing before Gigi starts demanding his attention.

“Me now! My turn!”

“You good pumping on your own Emily?”  He inquires of her, then after getting her nod, he moves over to my baby.

“Okay Princess, your turn.” He informs her, pulling the baby swing back and then letting it go.  When she lets out a stream of giggles, his dimples pop out in full force.

Seeing how he’s interacting with them, I’ve never been more attracted to him.  I don’t know why he was so nervous.  He’s a natural!

Predictably after about 5 minutes, Gigi’s done with the swings.  She clamors to get down and then heads to the sandbox near the bench where I’m sitting.  Josh says something to Emily who nods, then comes over to the bench.

“Emily wants to keep swinging.  Can we both sit here and watch?”

“Yes.  Emily’s fine by herself on the swings. And this is close enough to Gigi.  Have a seat because we’ve only got a few minutes before she wants to do something else.”

Josh sits and wraps his arm around my shoulders.  “Is this okay?”  He asks quietly, a little bit of uncertainty in his expression.  I really appreciate that he’s trying to follow my rules about no PDA in front of the girls.

“Yes, Josh, this is okay.” 

He smiles at me and gives my shoulder a little squeeze.  

“This is nice.” He tells me, and I believe he means it.  I think he really is having a good time.  While we sit there he seems to study the girls.

“Does she always wear a dress?” He asks, looking at Emily, who is still swinging in her navy jumper and white peter pan collared shirt.  Her french braids flying out behind her as she pumps her feet.

“Not always, but that’s her favorite. She’s a little particular.  Very orderly, very well mannered, and she likes to dress nicely.  On Saturdays she usually dresses a little more casually, but when she found out she’d be meeting someone new, she insisted on looking her best.  She’s got a saying  “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” 

Josh’s smile gets even bigger.  “That’s a really good motto.”  

“Mama!” Gigi yells standing up.  “Slide now.”

“That one isn’t at all worried about making a good impression.” I inform Josh with a sigh.

“Giovanna, you need to ask.”

“Slide please?  She whines, causing Josh to laugh then try to cover it with a cough when I glare at him for encouraging her.

“May I go on the slide, please?”  I remind her.

“May I please?  She practically begs.

“Yes you may.” I agree standing so that I can take her over to the slide, which she can mostly manage on her own, but I want to be right there.

Josh glances over at Emily, then back to me and Gigi, clearly not sure if he should leave his post or not.

“It’s okay, Josh.  Emily’s only a few feet away.  We can still see and hear her.”

I find it endearing that he looks conflicted. He obviously wants to stay close to Gigi and I but he’s watching out for Emily.  It makes my heart happy.

He compromises by waiting at the end of the slide and catching Gigi as she zooms down squealing all the way.  Her squeals draw Emily over to us.  While Emily has no interest in playing in the dirt with her sister.  Sliding is an acceptable activity.

And it’s really cute the way Josh visibly relaxes once both girls are close by.

Chapter Text

*several weeks later*

“Oh, Josh?”  Mrs. Landingham calls out as I follow CJ, Toby, and Sam out of the Oval and through her domain.

“Go on, I’ll catch up later.” I tell Sam.  I’m pretty sure I know where this is going, and I’m not quite ready to bring the others into the room.

Stopping in front of Mrs. Landingham’s desk, I stand patiently, both waiting for the others to leave and for her to give me a look over.  Once she does, she gets a small smile.  It makes me feel a little lighter and breath a little easier.  I gotta admit, even though this whole thing was Mrs. L’s idea, I’ve been a little nervous about talking to her about Donna.

I’m not sure what the right protocol is.  Am I supposed to check in with her?  Thank her?  Maybe I should send her some flowers?  

“Would you like a cookie, Josh?”  she finally asks.

Well.  That’s not what I was expecting, but I’m not one to turn down a good cookie.

“Yes. Thank you.”  I lift the crystal lid and take one.  When she doesn’t say anything else I take a bite.

That’s when she asks her follow up.  “So, how does mine rate compared to Captain Cookie?”

Ah.  That’s the hook. I’m glad I’ve got a mouthful, so I can have a moment to prepare.  Although it’s not the cookie question, I’m worried about.  It’s the one that comes after.  She waits with a small smirk as I quickly chew and swallow.

“No comparison, Mrs. Landingham.  Yours are the best.  You should give them lessons.”

She gives me a look that let’s me know that she knows that I’m sucking up.  But now she has to decide whether to call me out on that or use the opportunity to get the information she’s seeking.  Obviously she knows that I met the girls.

“Joshua.”

Oh.  Well played, Mrs. L.  Using the full name and the Mom tone combined with the expectant stare.  I’m not immune to that. I’ve been well trained by my own Mother. I won’t be able to resist longer.

“I heard that you met Donna’s girls.  They can’t stop talking about you.”

“Really?” I feel my face pop into a full dimpled grin. 

“Emily told me all about your afternoon at the park a few weeks ago.” 

“She did?” That’s unexpected.. Mrs. Landingham gives me a knowing look and a soft smile.

“That surprises you?”

“Let’s just say I wasn’t really sure with her.  Gigi is a little easier to read.”

 “Emily’’s just a little shy. Once she gets a little more comfortable she’ll open right up to you.”

“Okay.”

“And I heard that you’re a terrible bowler, but that you have good taste in pizza. Emily informed me that you’re very smart, and you knew lots of facts about the animals at the zoo . Gigi said you’re a good reader. I think it’s safe to say that they're both big fans of yours.  Give them a little more time and pretty soon they’ll be telling you themselves.”

“I suppose, not that that’ll happen anytime soon.”   

Mrs. Landingham gives me a disapproving look much like my own Mother does when I whine. “They’ll be back from Wisconsin before you know it,” she tells me. 

“It’s a whole week,” I know I’m still whining but I can’t seem to stop myself. “Why do they have to go to Wisconsin for a whole week?”

“Well, for what sounds like a perfectly charming family reunion, and a few extra days for the grandparents to spoil the girls.” 

Mrs. Landingham pats my hand gently.  “Would you like another cookie, dear?” She’s placating me but I’ll take what I can get.

. . . . .

“When are you home?” 

Donna laughs a little at my tone, and probably at the fact that I’ve asked her every night when she’s called.

“Three more days.”

“I’m not going to make it.”

“Yes, you will.  You survived without me for  Thirtysome years, you’ll be fine.”

“39.  We’ll really 38, almost 39.”

“Almost?  When’s your birthday?”

“October. The tenth.”

“Really?!?”

“Yeah . . . why?”

“Mine’s October third.”

“Wow. Small world.”  I’m dying to ask her how old she’ll be, but my Mother would absolutely kill me if she found out.

“I’m 29,” she offers, unsolicited. This isn’t the first time I’ve thought she could read my mind. I don’t know how she does that, but I actually don’t mind.  “Turning 30.”

“So I’m a decade older than you.” I state matter-of-factly, but I’m suddenly feeling a little uncertain. She’s young and beautiful. What would she want with an old politician?

“Not a whole decade!” She laughs.  “And for an old guy you’re still pretty sexy.”

“Ugh. That sounds like a line. Next thing you’re going to tell me that I’m older and wiser.”

“No, I was going to say more experienced.” She teases her voice light.

“That’s even worse.” 

“Not at all,” she responds, her voice dropping, “from what you do to me in bed, I’d say all that experience is a good thing.  A very good thing.”

“Well, hurry home, and I’ll show you some more.”

. . . . .

After the longest week of my life, I’m sitting in Donna’s car outside the airport waiting for my girls.  My girls.  I’m not sure when that happened, but that’s what they’ve become.  That’s why I insisted on dropping them off and picking them up.  Even though it’s 11:15 on a Sunday night.  Not that it’s that late, but if a year ago someone told me this is how I’d want to spend a Sunday night, I’d have laughed at them.

But here I am, waiting outside the airport, in my girlfriend’s car, with three welcome home bouquets in the front seat and two car seats in the back.  And I’m especially glad that I’m here to pick them up since their flight was delayed. I’d hate for her to be taking a cab or the metro this late.

When Donna calls to tell me the flight has landed, I head inside to meet them at baggage. She said I could just pick them up at the curb, but I’m sure the girls are tired and she’s probably got her hands full. And plus I just can’t wait any longer to see them.

Grabbing a cart, I scan the screens for the right luggage carousel, then I position myself so  we can get the luggage as soon as it comes down the chute, but that I can also see her coming.

My heart flutters a little in my chest when I finally spot her.  She’s gorgeous, but she looks exhausted.  She’s juggling a squirming Gigi, while balancing an oversized tote bag, and somehow dragging a carry on and holding Emily’s hand at the same time.  Both girls are wearing adorable little animal shaped backpacks.

Leaving the cart and flowers, I sprint over to her, skidding up to next to her as she stops to readjust the child in her arms. 

“Hey pretty lady, need a hand?”

Donna startles a bit, “Listen, pal . . .” But when she looks up and realizes that it’s me she relaxes. “Oh, Josh.” She sighs.  “Yes, please.”

That’s when I hear a pathetic little sniffle. When I look down I see tears streaming down Emily’s face.  

“Are you okay?” I ask, scanning her for injuries.

“Mommy yelled at me.”  She sobs.

Donna’s shoulders sag.  “That’s because someone thinks that they are the boss of their sister.” She bites out a little harshly, causing Emily to cry harder.  Hearing her mother’s tone of voice, and her sister’s distress, Gigi lets out a little wail and lifts her head off Donna’s shoulder, and I can see that she’s crying too.

Oh my God.  What’s happening here?  I’m not sure what I should do, but I’m sure I should do something.

“Here.  Give me that.” I grab the strap of Donna’s tote and throw it over my shoulder.  Then I scoop down and hold out my arms to Emily.  She doesn’t hesitate before throwing herself into them.  I’m pleased to discover she’s pretty light and her head fits perfectly into my shoulder as I stand up.  She heaves a big sigh as I rub her back.

Donna gives me a weak smile as she rubs Gigi’s back. Within a couple seconds, both girls have settled down a bit.

“Come on, let’s get the rest of the luggage.” I gesture towards our cart, as I grab the handle of the carry on and lead the way.

Chapter Text

I’m so exhausted. I could sleep for hours if they’d let me. But at 6:30 I hear the hinges on my bedroom door squeak open. 

“Mommy?” Emily’s little voice whispers. “Are you awake?”

I take a deep breath in without opening my eyes. For the life of me I don’t understand how she can already be awake and ready to go. 

“Yes, sweetie. I’m awake. Come here.” I pull the blanket back on the bed and she runs over, climbing in next to me and snuggling close. 

“Try to close your eyes,” I request, “until the clock says 7-0-0.”

She agrees and I try to fall back to sleep for just a few minutes, though I know it’s going to be a useless endeavor. 

“Mommy?” She whispers after not more than 20 seconds. 

“Yes?” I sigh, keeping my patience. I know she’s trying. 

“When the clock says 7-0-0, is that when Josh gets here?”

All the sudden I’m awake. I roll onto my side to look at her. “Why do you think Josh is coming over this morning?”

She shrugs and stares at me with curious eyes. 

“Josh isn’t coming over,” I tell her, running my hand over her small scale bed head. “Why did you think he was?”

“Because last night he picked us up when we came home from Wisconsin. And we have a present for him.”

“Yes, we do.” I smile, thinking of the excitement with which Emily and Gigi selected a souvenir for him. 

“So why did he come over last night when I had to go to sleep but not today when I’m awake?”

“Well, because he was picking us up from the airport last night. He was doing us a favor, so we didn’t have to leave our car there all week while we were at Grandma and Grandpa’s. And today, he’s at work.”

“So he can’t have breakfast with us?” Emily’s face shows her disappointment clearly. 

“No, not today.” 

“What about dinner?” Her eyes light up. 

“It’s short notice,” I explain. “And he might have other plans.”

“With who?” Her brow furrows, and I can’t help but to chuckle. 

“With his friends, and his family,” I state simply. “Josh is very busy, remember?”

“Because his job is to help the President.” Emily states dutifully. 

“That’s right.”

“But Grampa Moss said-“

I stop her before she can finish her sentence. “Emily Jane? Are you about to tattle?”

Her mouth physically snaps closed. It’s just as well. I’m familiar with my father’s political views. 

“But can we just call and ask?”

“Hmm?” I look back down at her. My mind was wandering to what kind of conversations were had about Josh by my extended family in Wisconsin, unbeknownst to me. 

“To ask him to eat dinner at our house.” She’s exasperated. 

“Oh. Sure, sweetie. We’ll call him this afternoon and see what his schedule looks like for the week.”

“Can we call him now?”

“It’s not even 7 am.”

“You said he was already at work,” she reminds me. 

“Emily.” I say her name in a tone that lets her know not to continually test me on this. 

“Okay…” she relents. I can tell she’s disappointed. 

I pick up the cell phone on my nightstand and send Josh a quick text, asking him to call me when he’s not busy. My cell phone rings a few seconds later. 

“Hi there.” I know I’m smiling, but I can’t help myself. 

“Hi yourself.” He’s smiling too. I can practically hear it. “Are you calling me because your bed feels empty without me?”

I let out a soft laugh. If I was alone right now I’d say something to make him stop dead in his tracks. But I’m not, so I redirect the conversation before it gets out of hand. 

“Who says I’m alone?” I toy. 

“I… ah…. I…” he’s clearly taken aback. And in his defense, we haven’t had an exclusivity conversation yet. Though I suppose, for me, it’s implied. There’s nobody else I could be interested in now that I’ve met him. 

“Eloquently put.” I end his stammering. “But someone wants to ask you something. Can I put you on speaker?”

“Ahkay…” he agrees though I can tell he’s not sure what’s coming. 

“Hi, Josh!” Emily practically shouts as soon as I hit the speaker button. 

“Good Morning, Sunshine!” He greets her in a chipper tone. He’s so good with her. I’m constantly amazed. 

“Can you come over to eat dinner at our house?” She asks with no lead up. 

“Donna?” He asks in a cautious tone, making sure I’m still here. It’s only then that I realize this may be a step I hadn’t completely thought through. 

The four of us have spent a lot of time together lately, but it’s mostly consisted of fun outings for a few hours at a time. Eating dinner at home with two little girls may feel like a jump into a domestic life I’m still not completely sure he’s ready to embrace. 

“I’m here.” I tell him. “We can get something scheduled, whenever it’ll work for you.” I try to give him the out. 

“Today?” Emily requests. 

“Or whenever you have time in your schedule,” I state again, giving Emily a pointed look. 

“Today is perfect.” Josh doesn’t hesitate. “I’ve missed you three.”

“We missed you too.” Emily adds without hesitation. “And we brought you a surprise from Wisconsin!”

“Wow, you did? That’s so nice of you.” 

My heart is practically melting as I watch my normally reserved oldest daughter chatter away over the phone. 

“We better let Josh get back to work, though,” I remind her. “Say bye.”

“Bye, Josh. Have fun at your job!”

“Bye, Em.” He chuckles. “I’ll see you this evening.”

I take him off  speaker and hold the phone to my ear, ready to make sure he really wants to do this. 

“What time should I come over,” he asks immediately, and suddenly I can tell he doesn’t have any doubts. 

“6:30?” I ask, hoping that isn’t too early for him. 

“Perfect.” He tells me. “I can’t wait.”

“Me either,” I beam. 

Emily climbs off the bed and scurries into the hallway. 

“Gigi! Gigi! Wake up!” I hear the door to our third bedroom fly open as Emily continues to talk with a level of excitement I don’t frequently hear from her. “Guess what? Josh is going to come over to our house for dinner tonight!”

Chapter Text

Sam harasses me a little as I leave the West Wing at 6:15.  I know he knows that something is up, but I’m still not quite ready to tell him.  Something’s happening to me, and I probably need to get a grip on it myself before I share it with anyone else.

A big part of the problem is that Donna has rules that I’m trying to follow, but I don’t think she’s told me all of them. It feels like a “need to know” kind of thing.

Like, I needed to know that she had kids, then I needed to pass some sort of test before I met them.  And then there’s the PDA.  I’ve graduated to hand-holding in front of them, but I still don’t think I’m allowed to kiss her in their presence.

Which is all fine and good.  We do enough kissing when they aren’t around that I’m not feeling neglected or anything.  And she’s the Mom so she should make the rules.  I’ve come to really care about them so I certainly don’t want to do anything that would damage them emotionally or anything.

But it feels like maybe last night was another milestone.  And this unexpected dinner invitation has me feeling really good.  

This might not be where I expected to be five months ago but I’m pleasantly surprised to find that I like leaving the office at a reasonable hour so that I can have a family dinner before the girls go to bed.  And I don’t like seeing Emily cry but I like that I can pick her up and rub her back and it helps her calm down. 

And I really like seeing two little facings staring out the window waiting for me to walk up the sidewalk after a long day at work.

Before I can knock, Emily opens the door.

“Josh! Josh! Josh!” Gigi chants jumping up and down then running toward the kitchen to tell Donna I’ve arrived, just in case she hadn’t heard.

“Hi Josh.” Emily offers softly.  But she’s smiling and looking right at me, so I’d say we’re doing better.  “Mom’s in the kitchen.  We’re having lasagna.”

“I love lasagna.”

“My Mom’s is really good.  Nonna taught her how.”

“I can’t wait.” I assure her, following her to the kitchen.

“Hi!” Donna offers brightly as I walk in.  She’s working on assembling a salad.  “Lasagna’s almost ready.”

“It smells amazing.” My stomach growls and Donna laughs.

“Well that’s a good sign.  I’m glad you’re hungry.  We made a huge dish.  You can take some leftovers home and have it for lunch tomorrow.  There’s beer in the fridge.” She offers.

I’m not quite sure if I should drink one in front of the girls, but then I see Donna reach over and take a swing out of a bottle herself.  I guess if she’s okay with it, it’s fine.

“Emily!” She calls out.  “Come set the table please!”

Emily pops around the corner quickly, making me think she’s been nearby this whole time.  I’m impressed as she starts to gather the silverware, but then she stops and stares at me, furrowing her brow in a way that I immediately recognize she’s inherited from her mother. 

“Josh?” She asks. 

“Hmm?” 

“Are you my Mommy’s boyfriend?”

I’d be speechless but I’m quickly distracted by the sound of Donna knocking over the bag of croutons she was putting on the salad. Apparently she’s just as surprised by this line of questioning as I am. 

She isn’t looking at me, but I can tell she’s starting to blush. I”m not sure what the rules are here.  And part of me wants to let her take the lead on what to call this, but I don’t want her to doubt for a minute how I feel.  

“Yes.” I respond to Emily confidently. 

“Oh.” She nods her head as she finishes her task. “That’s what my cousin Olivia said. She’s eleven.”

Now that I’ve answered her question and she has the utensils, Emily starts towards the table. She seems rather nonchalant about the whole situation, which is a good I guess. Less chance that I'll scar these children for life.  

“Emily,” Donna chimes in, stopping the girl, “you know if you have questions you can ask me.” Don’t just listen to everything Olivia says.”

“But she was right.” Emily remarks thoughtfully. “Except…” she trails off, clearly still thinking the situation through. 

“Except what?” I ask, curious. 

“I’ve never seen you kiss mommy.” Emily tells me innocently. “Boyfriends and girlfriends kiss. Have you kissed?”

“Emily!” Donna is now beat red. “That is not appropriate for little girls to ask!”

“Sorry.” She mumbles, looking properly chastised as she hangs her head. 

Donna squeezes her eyes closed for a beat before continuing. 

“It’s okay,” she assures her daughter. “You didn’t mean to be rude. And you know  it’s okay to ask me questions, but next time maybe wait until we’re alone.”

Again I’m not quite sure how to proceed.  And it’s not lost on me that Emily wasn’t asking her Mom.  She was asking me.  And I’m okay with her asking questions too.  And I want her to know that. So I take a chance, and I crouch down so I’m eye-level with her.

“Emily?” I ask softly, “Is it okay with you that I spend time with your Mom?”

Emily nods her head yes. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t asked you before,” I tell her. “But I want you to know that you can tell me how you feel.”

“I like it when you spend time with Mommy,” Emily tells me, staring at her shoes. “It makes her happy. She smiles when she talks about you.”

I feel myself start to choke up a little, I don’t think anyone has ever said anything nicer to me.

“And I like it when you take me and Gigi with you to do fun stuff. You’re nice to us.” Emily concludes.

“Well, I really like you and your sister and your Mom.  And I’m glad you let me hang around sometimes.  And I’m especially glad you invited me to dinner. Because I’m starving!”

“Okay.  Time to eat!” Donna announces.  “All of you.  Go wash your hands.  And help Gigi while I get this on the table.”

Donna’s lasagna really is fantastic.  And family dinner is a lot of fun, with the girls telling me stories about their cousins and grandparents, and their uncle’s dog eating a whole plate of hot dogs then puking at the family reunion.

After dinner, the girls give me a set of boxed cheeses and I have to bite my tongue when Emily innocently asks me if I knew that Wisconsin is famous for its cheese.

And then we play a game of Candyland, and then Donna gives the girls baths, and then lets me read them a story.  And then when they’re all tucked in, I’m exhausted but high on life.  Because I can’t remember a better evening in the last decade.

Then finally, Donna grabs two beers and leads me out onto the stoop, where we can sit in the twilight and catch our breath.

She takes a long drink, then leans her head back and looks at the sky without saying anything.  And I take a long drink and stare at her, wondering if this is all a dream.  And this goes on for a few minutes, until I can’t take it anymore, so I break the quietness.

“You’re a little quiet over there.  Which is okay, but . . .  did I do something wrong?  Am I wrong about the whole boyfriend thing?  Sorry if I spoke out of turn there.” 

She answers quickly. “No, yeah, no. It’s not that!  I mean it is that but it’s not that.”

She’s babbling and blushing, and I have no idea whether that was a yes or a no, but God, she’s beautiful and I just want to kiss her.  So I do.

I lean over, and I place my lips very softly on hers for just a moment.  And then I pull back.

It works, because she stops talking and smiles at me.

“I have no idea what you just said.  You know that, right?”  I tease her.  “I don’t speak mid-western.”

“Josh!” She hisses, playfully swatting my arm while still grinning at me.  Then she takes a deep breath so I just wait her out a moment.

“It’s fine that you told Emily you’re my boyfriend.  It’s good for her to have a term for it, especially since she’s asking.  It’s just that the next time her Dad calls it’ll take her about 30 seconds to tell him.”

“And that’s a problem?” I feel my hackles rising defensively.  

“Not exactly.  It’s really not that big of a deal.  But he’ll have her put me on the phone so he can lecture me about being careful, and making sure the girls are my first priority, and yada yada.  And I’ll feel like I’m a teenager, and I’ll have to remind myself that I’m a grown-ass woman and he’s not the boss of me, and worst of all, it’ll take time away from him talking to the girls, and they don’t get to talk to him that often.”

“I see.”

“Do you?  Really?”  She asks with a bitter laugh.

“No.” I admit.  “I don’t.  But I want to. I want to be here for you.  In any way that I can.  I don’t know what this is exactly but I’ve never felt like this before.  And I just want you to know, now that I’m your boyfriend ,” I stress the word in a teasing tone, “you can tell me stuff.  I’m not going to run away screaming.”

Chapter Text

He’s looking at me with complete sincerity. And I believe him. 

“Thank you.” I tell him letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. 

He puts his arm around me for a moment and I feel the stress begin to disappear. Things with Josh have moved pretty quickly- a lot faster than i would have imagined. And with that, there have been certain things that were left unsaid. I’ve made it clear that I’m putting the girls’ best interests ahead of my own desires, but I’m not so sure that I’ve conveyed to Josh how much I want this to work. Or even that I do trust him with my daughters, and the decisions surrounding them. I’ve been so stressed out about this balancing act of trying to figure out how to be a mom and woman in the dating scene that I somehow failed to realize everything that was unfolding right in front of me. 

Josh is a good man, and I can trust him. I’m crazy about him, he likes me, and he adores my girls too. 

“Sometimes I’m not sure what to say.” Josh picks at the label on his beer bottle. “I’ve never been very good at relationships and I’m really out of my element with making the right decisions for the girls.”

“I’m new at this too,” I remind him. “You’re the first man I’ve dated since my divorce. I’ve never felt this way before, and I don’t want to mess this up.”

“You’re not going to mess it up,” he assures me. “But I want you to remember we’re in this together. You don’t have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders. Let me help you. I want to help you. I just don’t always know what I’m supposed to be doing.”

“I just didn’t want to overwhelm anyone,” I admit to him. I’ve fretted constantly about finding the right balance and trying to stick to the plan I laid out in my mind. 

“I know.” He assured me. “And you didn’t. But I kind of feel like there’s a set of rules that you’re sticking to that I know nothing about. You’re their mom and that’s your prerogative, but I think maybe it would make things a little easier if I knew what you wanted or didn’t want me to do.”

I bite my lip, realizing for the first time that he’s exactly right. I have some fairly rigid lines in my head but I haven’t said anything to him. We’ve both been trying to navigate this alone. 

“I just… I didn’t want to move too fast. I was worried about the girls, but I was also worried about you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah. Well, you didn’t seem to be so crazy about the idea of kids when I first met you. And I can understand why. But even after you’ve gotten to know the girls I’m not quite sure- I don’t know exactly how you feel about this, and I didn’t want to freak you out by talking about the big picture or things that make it seem like I’m looking for more than you’re willing to give.”

“Let me clear that up for you.” He tells me with no hesitation. “I adore those little girls. I’m in love with their mother. And I want to spend time with all three of them.”

I feel a huge smile widen on my face as my heart beats faster. He gives me a full dimpled grin before leaning in and kissing me passionately. 

When we break apart he rests his head against my forehead and we just breathe for a moment.  I’ve never felt more intimate with someone than I do right now. There’s really no further that this can go physically tonight.  I’m not ready to bring him into my bed with the girls in the house. But now instead of worrying about that, I feel like he’ll understand.

“I’d like to but I can’t. Not yet.” I whisper, not fully articulating what I’m thinking.

“It’s okay.” He reassures me.  “This is nice too. I like just being with you.”

“But I like sex.” I pout just a little, breaking the tension and making him laugh out loud.

“Oh, I know!” He quips, wiggling his eyebrows, “You’re quite the screamer.”

“Hey!” I give him a light smack on the arm, but he can tell that I’m not upset by the way I’m grinning from ear to ear.  I suddenly feel 100 pounds lighter.

“So, I know that your parents don’t live close enough, and you just got back from there, but is there anyone else you can leave the girls with overnight?  We could go somewhere and then not leave our hotel room for 24 hours.”

“Well, their paternal grandparents will occasionally watch them, but I don’t like to call them unless it’s an emergency, and  I don’t really want to have to explain this to them yet.  Mrs. Landingham would probably watch them overnight if I asked, are you okay with her knowing what’s going on?”

“Yeah.  She’s been pretty great. I really do need to send her some thank you flowers or something.”

“Okay.  I’ll talk to her and see what we can work out.”

“I want to plan some more stuff with the girls too.  Tonight was great.  I’d like to do it more often.  And maybe we can take a  day trip with them, to the Ocean or something?”

He looks so eager.  My heart feels like it’s going to explode.  I really don’t think he’s just trying to score points with me.

“I’m not trying to rush you to let me in, Donna, but don’t hold back for my sake.  I want this.”

I lean over and give him another long kiss, then I pick up his hand and interlock our fingers. I’m feeling a little bit like I’m on a ride at the amusement park.  Like the bottom has just dropped out and I’m in a free fall, but in a good way.  It’s an exhilarating feeling and I don’t want it to stop.  And while there’s just a touch of fear, I have a deep sense that it’s a safe ride and it’s going to be fine.

Josh gives my hand a little squeeze and turns his warm brown eyes my way, then gives me a content smile.

Oh yeah, I’m a complete goner.  I want to have nights like this for the rest of my life.

Chapter Text

"Alright, Miss Gigi, let’s see what we’re going to do today.” I hold the bowl out towards her and she plunges her hand into it and swirls it around. Emily heaves a little sigh. If it was her turn I’m sure she’d just pick one without all the fanfare.  But it’s Gigi’s turn to pick.  And this little trick on Donna’s is pretty brilliant.  I didn’t fully appreciate it at first but now I see that adding the element of randomness by drawing from a bowl makes it less like one kid is getting their way. We all put ideas into the bowl so no matter what Gigi chooses, I’m sure it’ll be fun.

Finally, she pulls one out and hands it to Donna to read.

“Build-A-Bear.” Donna says hanging her head a little while both girls cheer and jump up and down.

She wasn’t thrilled about this activity, but the girls begged and I convinced her to put it in the mix. I think she was hoping that we’d never draw it.  I don’t know what the problem is. Watching the girls make their own bears sounds fun.

. . . . 

As soon as we walk through the doors, I begin to understand Donna’s reluctance. The volume in this place is about 100 times the decibel level that is safe for human ears. But both girls are grinning so there’s no way I’d back out now.

A teenager directs us towards a wall of choices.  A variety of animals are perched on shelves, with bins of “animal skins” below them.  It’s a little creepy.  But Gigi runs at them full speed and starts bouncing in place.

“I wanna frog! I wanna frog!”

“It’s Build-A- Bear , Gigi.” Emily informs her with superiority, earning a little bit of a glare from Donna.

“But they got frogs.” Gigi points out, completely correctly.

“Emily, remember, Gigi has a right to make her own choices as long as it’s safe.”  Donna reminds her with a sigh.

“Yes, Mommy.” Emily responds a little chagrined, glancing over at me. I give her a quick smile to let her know that I’m not upset with her.

Another teenager joins us at the wall of choices. “Okay girls,” she starts in a perky voice, “have you picked an animal to adopt?”

“FROGGIE!!” Gigi quickly announces at top volume, contributing to the cacophony.

“I would like that brown bear, please.” Emily answers when the girl looks at her expectantly.

I’m not a bit surprised at their choices. I’m starting to figure out their personalities.  Gigi is flamboyant, living life at top 3 year old speed while dressed in colorful, comfortable clothes. Her choice of a giant cartoon frog makes perfect sense. Emily is cautious and precise, wanting to make a good impression and not make any mistakes. The traditional looking brown bear she chose fits her perfectly.

The employee gives each of them their choices then leads us over to a large glass machine filled with fluff.  She helps Gigi fit her frog on a nozzle then shows her how to press a pedal with her foot to fill the toy with stuffing.  Gigi giggles as the frog skin becomes a stuffed animal.

Donna pulls out a little camera and snaps a few pictures.  I’m glad we’ll have a record of these memories.

When it’s Emily’s turn, she is ready to go with very little direction, after watching her sister.  Once both animals are mostly full the teenager gives each of the girls a red gingham heart.  

“Okay, girls, close your eyes and make a wish.”  

Both girls screw their eyes up tight.

“Now, open your eyes.  Give the heart a kiss and turn around three times.”  

Both girls follow her directions carefully.

“Now, place the heart inside your new friend.”

Once the stuffed animals have their hearts, the girl sews up the stuffed animals and sends the girls over to the “bathing station” which is a fake bathtub with air dryers.  Once the animals are fully fluffed we’re sent on to the clothing.

“Here’s where they really get you.” Donna mutters as we enter the third stage of hell. Row after row of tiny little outfits exorbitantly priced. Gigi’s eyes look like they are about to pop out of her head, and she seems to have been rendered mute as she stands before more options than her little brain can process.

Donna takes pity on her after a few minutes.  “Look at this one sweet heart.” She hands her a little t-shirt on a hanger.  The top is hot pink with a giant silver heart made out of sequins.

“YES!!” Gigi responds instantly.

“Great.” Donna answers, attempting to move Gigi along, but Gigi digs her heels in .

“She needs pants, Mommy!” 

“Oh dear, Lord.” Donna mutters under her breath.

While Donna and Gigi start round two of their search, I watch Emily as she meticulously compares a school uniform with plaid skirt to a ballet outfit with a tutu and satin slippers.

“That’s a hard choice, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Emily agrees, nodding seriously.  “A school outfit is more practical for everyday use, but the ballet outfit is really pretty, and it comes with shoes.”

I have a very easy solution to this problem, we just get both.  But Donna was extremely clear, one bear and one outfit per child, absolutely no exceptions, and absolutely no whining.  And I for one don’t want to risk getting on Donna’s bad side.

“Are you about ready, Emily Jane?” Donna pleads after a few more minutes watching Emily’s internal struggle.

Reluctantly, Emily hangs the tutu back up on the hook.  “Yes, Mommy.”

“Look what I got.” Gigi announces holding up the sparkling shirt and a pair of rainbow striped shorts.

“Beautiful.” I assure her as Donna takes Gigi’s hand to try to pull her along towards the adoption station.  But between us and the finish line lies a final challenge.  Shelves of little tiny shoes.

Emily looks at me and I swear I can see the stars shining in her eyes.  What is it about girls and shoes?

“Shoes are part of an outfit.  Right, Josh?”  Emily asks earnestly, and who am I to disagree.

“Yes, of course.” 

Donna’s eyes narrow, but I can see that she doesn’t have any fight in her.  Maybe she likes shoes too?  

Surprisingly, the shoe shopping goes really quickly.  Emily hones in on a pair of saddle shoes almost instantaneously, and once Donna pulls tiny little jelly sandals off the shelf, Gigi is sold.

At the final step, the animals get bows and names, the girls get adoption certificates, and then are handed giant boxes that look like little houses.  They are both beaming and I’ve never enjoyed spending a hundred dollars quite as much. 

Donna heaves a giant relieved sigh as we step out of the store.

“It wasn’t that bad.” I insist placing my hand on her lower back as she starts to push Gigi’s stroller.

Donna rolls her eyes but gives me a tired smile. “No, it wasn’t that bad, and you really made their night, so thank you, this was really nice of you.”

“Thanks for letting me.  And it’s a good thing you had rules because I definitely could have gone overboard in there.”

“Yeah, I’ve heard horror stories.”

“Well, we survived.  And now, I think we deserve a treat.”

“Orange Julius!” Emily immediately offers, obviously she was listening. I’ll have to remember that.

“Okay, Orange Julius for you.  Starbucks for me and Mommy.”

“Sounds great.” Donna agrees.

. . . . . 

Once we have our snacks, Emily and I find ourselves sitting on a bench outside of a smelly lotion store, with Gigi, still in her stroller, parked next to us.  Donna has promised she’ll only be five minutes.  She’s got a coupon for a free hand cream that expires today.  I suddenly have a feeling that I’ve discovered what the rest of my life is going to be like, and I find that I don’t mind it at all.

Emily’s still looking for something blue when I notice that Gigi’s got juice everywhere. Luckily Donna left me the diaper bag so I grab some wipes hoping to clean her up before Donna gets back.  When I’m done, I stand up to see if there’s a trash can nearby.  That’s when I discover CJ standing in front of us with her mouth hanging open.

“Josh? What the hell are you doing?” She demands when she finally recovers her voice.

“Just looking for the trash can.” I answer smoothly.

“It’s right there, Josh.”  Emily tells me quietly, tugging on my sleeve and pointing, even while she’s somewhat hiding behind me.

It’s only two steps away, but even though it’s just CJ, I don’t want to move away from the girls.  Emily’s shy around new people, and I definitely don’t want Donna to think that I’ve left the girls with someone she doesn’t know.  So instead I just ball the wipes up and shove them in my pocket.

At that moment Donna comes back out of the store.  “I hope you like Japanese Cherry Blossom!” She announces as she slides her arm around mine a little possessively.  It’s cute.

“Donna, this is CJ Cregg.  We work together.  CJ, Donna Moss.  And Emily and Gigi.”

CJ still looks a little stunned, but she’s a professional, so she holds a hand out.  “It’s nice to meet you, Donna.”

Donna relaxes a little too.  “Ms. Cregg, it’s nice to meet you too.  I love your briefings.”

“Ah, thanks. Well, Hogan and I should get back to our shopping.” CJ takes a step away then gives me a pointed look. “See you Monday, Josh.”

Well, I guess that gives me the weekend to figure out what to tell her, but it’s the last thing that I plan to spend any time on.

Chapter Text

After I finish saying my goodbyes to the girls, Mrs. Landingham lets them lead her down the hall to their rooms while I slide my overnight bag over my shoulder and slip out the door.  I half expected Josh to be waiting for me, even though I’m a few minutes early, but he’s not so I walk towards the corner.

I can’t help but laugh a bit at myself.  With my tight dress and heels, I’m slightly concerned about giving off a prostitute vibe.  Maybe it’s the incredibly sexy undergarments fueling my thoughts. And I absolutely do have sex on my mind.  

All the family time has been great.  And Josh has really been incredible with the girls, but Mama has needs too. And I fully intend to have them met tonight.

Before I actually reach the corner, Josh pulls up next to me and rolls down the window. Before he can say anything I lean in.

“Hey Sugar, you looking for a date?”  I drawl in what I hope is a sexy voice.

His eyebrows raise so fast I think they’ve got a shot at reaching his hairline, and his Adam's apple bobs as he gulps.  I seriously hope I haven’t completely freaked him out. 

I’m tempted to bail on the whole thing and just climb in, but I’m feeling really good, and I’m curious to see how he’s going to react.  Hard to say if he’s up for a little light role play or if he’s strictly vanilla.

Turns out that a second was all he needed. The astonishment on his face morphs into a smirk. 

“No, I wanna find Beverly Hills.  Can you give me directions?”

I almost break character and laugh. I can’t believe he’s quoting Pretty Woman back to me.  But now it’s game on.  Let’s see what he’s got.

“Sure. For five bucks.”

“Ridiculous.”

“Price just went up to ten.”

“You can’t charge me for directions.” He responds, continuing to quote the script while I fall even more in love with him.

“I can do anything I want to, baby. I ain’t lost.”

I swear I’m ready to swoon when he fishes in his pocket for a bill.  “All right. You win, I lose, got change for a--?”

As he flashes the money, I open the door and slide in, already reciting my line.  “I’ll show you personal. Even show you where the stars live.”

Josh laughs as I snatch the twenty out of his fingers, then leans over and gives me a long kiss, before pulling back.

“I had no idea you were such a nerd.”

“Hey, don’t knock Pretty Woman.  It’s a classic.”

As he puts the car back into gear drive and pulls away, we just grin at each other stupidly.  I’m in heaven.  All the pressure of dressing up to impress him because we have such little alone adult time vanishes, and I’m left just feeling good.  Feeling good and incredibly turned on.

A few minutes later we cross into Georgetown, but instead of turning right on 28th Street towards his townhouse, Josh turns left into the Four Seasons.

“Wha---?” I start to ask what’s going on, but his smile answers my question.

“A little surprise.” He murmurs as we stop in front of the valet stand. I try not to gawk as we make our way through the lobby, but it’s probably pretty obvious that I haven’t spent much time in the lobbies of 5 star hotels.  The marble floors and elaborate chandelier scream opulence as do the large floral arrangements and the leather furniture.

As Josh ushers me toward the elevator with a hand on my lower back, he tilts his head toward the restaurant.

“Bourbon Steak is outstanding. If you’d like we can come down for dinner later.”

I murmur noncommittally. I’m sure it’s fantastic.  But I’m not sure that I’ll want to leave the room.

Josh’s eyes flash and one of his dimples makes an appearance and for a second I wonder if I just said that aloud.

We’re the only ones in the elevator and as soon as the doors close, Josh’s hand slides a little lower. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and notice that the smirk and the dimples are even more prominent.  And both continue to grow as his hand continues its journey south until it is solidly resting on the under-curve of my ass.

I wonder if he’s trying to determine what kind of underwear I’m wearing. It shouldn’t be much of a mystery.  There’s no way I’d want panty lines with this dress.

The elevator dings and an elderly couple steps in.  I feel myself start to blush, but Josh’s hand remains where it is while all four of us stare at the door.  When the elevator comes to a stop on the top floor, the couple steps out first.  The gentleman looks at Josh and smiles.

“Have a good evening.” He tells us smoothly before putting his hand on his wife’s back to direct her down the hall.

“OH! We will!” Josh calls out, giving my ass a little squeeze, causing me to to startle..

The gentleman looks back at us over his shoulder, winks at Josh, then deliberately moves his hand to his wife’s rear end. She lets out a light giggle that makes me smile.

“I guess that’s what we have to look forward to.” Josh mutters.

When we are almost to the end of the hall, Josh stops in front of an oak door. He slips the plastic key card out of his front pocket and slides it into the reader and quickly pulls it out. The light flashes red.  So Josh tries again, getting the same result. After the fourth or fifth try Josh seems to be getting flustered.  He’s not exactly coming across as suave at the moment, but it makes me love him all the more.

“Can I take a crack at it?” I slip the card out of his fingers and slide it slowly into the door. Then I slide it out slowly. The light turns green and I give Josh a sly smile.

“It’s all about finesse.” I offer in a sultry voice. “You have to slide it in, real slow, and have a little patience.  It’s worth the wait.”

Instead of responding with a quip, Josh just grins at me and holds the door open. All thoughts of further teasing evaporate when I see the room.

It’s stunning. Floor to ceiling windows with an incredible view of the City. I’m in awe.  I can’t wait to see what it looks like at night.  In the sitting area, there’s a table set with a gorgeous table setting.  A bottle of wine is already chilling in a high top.  One of the end tables next to the couch has a gorgeous bouquet of flowers.

The bed is sprinkled with rose petals.

It’s been a while.  But I’m pretty sure I’m being wooed.

I turn back to look at Josh.  He’s leaning against the wall, watching me take it all in.  He looks pleased with himself.  And he looks like he wants to eat me alive.

The feeling is mutual.

Chapter Text

Donna’s eyes flutter open as my lips graze across her bare shoulder. I wasn’t trying to wake her up, but I can’t help touching her, my fingertips dancing along her hip and up the side of her body.

She gives me a soft sleepy smile before rolling onto her side and facing me.. 

My hand continues upward until I’m gently cupping her  face then I give her  a long, slow kiss before wrapping my arm around her waist and tugging her a little closer. I don’t want even a few inches between us.  Having her in my arms is heaven.  I want to wake up like this for the rest of my life.

“How’d you sleep?”  I ask, my voice a little rough, but she smiles at me like it’s the greatest thing she ever heard.

“Very well,” she answers, reaching up to scratch my stubble a little. She’s still smiling but it’s morphed into more of a grin and her eyes are dancing.  Truthfully, she looks like she’s trying not to laugh.

“What?”

“Your hair is sticking up in a million different directions” she giggles.

It’s a delightful sound so I lean over to tickle her a little both as a little punishment and just to hear her laugh some more. As I do, the sheet slides down low on my hips.  Donna’s eyes change from humor to lust in an instant.  It stops me in my tracks when she subconsciously licks her lips.

She reaches out and runs her hand across my abdomen.  “You’re in surprisingly good shape for someone who works as much as you do.” She murmurs and I feel myself puffing up in pride.

“Well, I work out when I can.” I brag.  

She responds by pressing her body even closer to mine, causing me to groan in appreciation as she slips her leg in between mine. We smirk at each other for a minute waiting to see who is going to make the next move, until I can’t wait any longer, flipping her over onto her back and hovering over her.

It’s a bit dominant, but the look on her face tells me that she enjoyed the display. I lean down to kiss her, but instead of ravishing her mouth, I give her a gentle kiss.

She grins. Then before I know what’s happening rolls us so that she’s on top. She smirks at me for a second then leans down.

I’m expecting a gentle kiss in return, but she kisses me with a hungry furiosity, leaving me mostly breathless.  Then she starts to move her lips down my body.  The last coherent thought I have is that I’m totally good with her taking charge.

. . . . 

As we’re getting ready to check out,  I sit in a wing-back chair with my backpack, watching as Donna hunts around for her lacy unmentionables. I gotta hand it to her, I’d never have thought of bringing more than one pair of boxers for an overnight.  But having her reveal a new set of lingerie each time we resumed our adult activities was pretty exciting. 

The first reveal last night took my breath away.  Then after we’d finished our room service, she’d slipped into the bathroom and emerged in a teddy that I’ll be dreaming about for weeks.  When she slipped back into the bathroom following dessert, I realized that she’d planned for several sessions. I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited. I especially enjoyed the “french maid” baby-doll outfit.  Her fake accent is going to have a prominent place in my future fantasies.

“Hey! Have you seen that blue thong?” she yells from across the room.  “I think we were sitting on that chair when we started.”

“Ah,yes, we were.  That was after the tiramisu.”  I get up and feel around the cushion.  Sure enough, it’s tucked between the seat and the arm rest.  “Found it!” I yell, holding the scrap of silk up in triumph.

“So, does that mean I get to keep this pair as a prize?”  I ask, wiggling my eyebrows at her.

“Oui, monsieur." She answers saucily.

While she zips up her bag, I slip my reward into my pocket.  “Hey,” I grab her wrist and pull her close, flopping back into the chair with her on my lap.  “This was a lot of fun.  Like, a lot.”

“Yes, it was,'' she giggles.  “I really needed some adult time.  And you are very good at that.”

“Well, I aim to please.” I boast.

“I’m very, very satisfied.” She grins. “I wish our time together wasn’t over.”

“It doesn’t have to be, you know.”

“I told Mrs. Landingham I’d be home before dinner.”

“I could come over.” I offer softly. “We can order take out. I could help get the girls to bed.”

I’m not trying to pressure her, but I want her to know how I feel. This relationship has progressed rather quickly, but I don’t have any doubts and I don’t want her to have to guess where I’m at.

“I’m so in love with you.” I tell her softly, letting the words wash over us.  “I’m all in, Donna.  You. The girls.  Moments like this.  Family dinners.  I want it. All of it.” 

“You’re sure? I don’t want to pressure you, but I don’t want to put the girls through any heartache.  If you’re going to be sick of us in a few months, then . . . “

“I’m not going to get sick of it, Donna, I swear.  Not you or the girls.” 

She bites her lip and I feel like I’m waiting on the most important answer of my life. 

“I just want to be careful, Josh.  I don’t want you to feel like I rushed you into a commitment and an instant family.  I’ve fallen for you, and you’re so good with the girls.  I want you to come home and have dinner and put them to bed.  And I’d like to go to bed together and wake up in each other's arms, but what if we move too fast and it ends up scaring you away?”

“It’s not going to. I promise.  Let me prove it.” I catch myself trying to persuade her and take a breath and take it down a notch. I really don’t want to pressure her even though I really do want to be a bigger part of her life. “But whatever you want, we can go as slow as you want. I just love the three of you and I don’t want to miss anything.”

Donna squeezes my hand.  “Come home with me for dinner. And then we’ll go from there.”

Chapter Text

“Mama!” Gigi runs over to greet me as soon as I walk through the door. Emily isn’t far behind.

“Hi, girls. Did you have a fun day with Mrs. Landingham?”

“Oh, yes.” Emily nods dramatically. “We made macaroni necklaces and we played with paper dolls.”

“Wow.” I smile, smoothing her hair. Mrs. Landingham always has a few surprises for the girls when she watches them. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”

I sit my purse down on the entryway table and follow Emily into the living room.

“And how was your work conference?” Mrs. Landingham asks me with a knowing twinkle in her eye.

I can’t help but to smile. “It was wonderful. Thank you again for staying with them. I hope they weren’t too much trouble?”

“Not at all, dear. We had a lovely time.” She assures me.

She gathers a few things and places them with the small rolling duffle she packed to spend the night before saying goodbye to the girls.

“Say thank you to Mrs. Landingham for a fun weekend,” I remind them, and they both use their best manners before giving her hugs.

“Oh, let me get that.” Josh opens the door just as Mrs. L reaches for her suitcase, picking up her duffle and holding the door for her as he walks her the thirty feet to her house. I can see him speaking to her for a moment when he reaches out and hugs her before returning.

“Josh is here!” Emily reports to me with amazement as soon as he lets himself in the front door and rounds the corner to the living room.

“Yes.” I watch her for a reaction. “Josh is going to have dinner with us tonight.”

“He is?” She looks between the two of us.

“If that's okay with you,” Josh gently places the control in Emily’s hands.

“Yes!” She breaks into a smile and hops in place a few times, clasping her hands to her chest as she nods eagerly.

Gigi joins in the excitement and bounds around the living room, mostly because she has the energy to burn, not because she was listening to the conversation.

Josh breaks into a grin at their reactions before sitting down next to me on the couch.

Emily goes back to what she was doing, kneeling next to the coffee table as she arranges her carefully punched out paper doll outfits into stacks. Gigi continues to bound around the room before flinging herself into an overstuffed chair.

“Did your sister have a long nap today?” I ask Emily.

“No,” She tells me. “But she drank a soda.”

My eyes bug out a little bit.

“Mrs. Landingham was drinking one, and Gigi finished it when she was on the phone.

“Ah.” I give Josh a look that lets him know we may be in for some entertainment before the inevitable sugar crash.

Emily tells us more about their evening and, ever the polite child, asks if I had fun at my conference. I assure her that I did, willing myself not to blush. She then turns to Josh and asks him if he went to my sleepover, too.

I bite my lip in order not to laugh as Josh’s eyebrows shoot up. He coughs awkwardly, but manages to recover before changing the subject and asking Emily what she wants for dinner. It may have worked for the moment but he’ll soon learn that the shameless deflection of a professional political operative is no match for my 5 year old.

Josh flips open his cell phone and orders our dinner from the pizza place down the street, reporting that the carry out will be ready in 30 minutes.

“Josh?” Emily persists, tapping him gently on the arm to get his attention.

“Yes?”

“Did you go with my Mommy last night?” Emily repeats.

I can practically see the gears turning in Josh’s mind when he realizes there’s no way to get out of this.

“No,” I chime in. “Josh didn’t go to the librarians conference.”

He glances over towards me as Emily, satisfied with her answer, goes back to what she was doing. I shoot him a look that tells him not to judge me for lying to my child, but he meets my eyes and suddenly we’re sharing a quiet laugh, and a secret.

Gigi leaps onto Josh’s lap and wraps her little arms around his neck with a smile.

“Hi there,” he greets her with a laugh, clearly surprised by her sudden show of affection. She gives him a little squeeze before crawling over to my lap and then sliding down the side of the couch and running over to the basket of toys in the corner.

“Emmie, play with me!” She commands, holding up a small fairy wand.

“Ask nicely, please, Gigi.” I request, pulling my legs under myself and leaning back into the couch. I’m quite tired, and the minimal rest I opted to get last night is beginning to catch up to me. Josh places his arm across the back of the couch and I lean my head towards him. He leans over and gives the top of my head a soft kiss and it all feels so natural.

I glance over to see Emily with a gentle smile on her face as Gigi runs over with a tiara.

“Mommy can be the princess,” Emily suggests. “And Josh is the prince!”

I reflexively take the tiara and place it on my head, as Gigi puts on a dress up ballgown over her clothes. The girls keep each other occupied for a few more minutes, before Josh stretches and announces it’s time to go get the pizza.

Gigi is still hyped up from her earlier adventure with carbonated beverages, but Emily seems relieved for a reason to stop playing. She takes off the tiara and crawls onto the couch next to me.

“What would you think if I, um...” Josh scoots forward and looks at me intently. I tilt my head to listen. He’s clearly nervous.

“If you what?”

“If I took Gigi with me? So she can stretch her legs.”

I’m a little surprised that he’s offering after he’s watched her bound around the living room for the last half hour. But he’s right, she could use some exercise.

“You sure?” I question.

He nods in confirmation.

“Giovanna.” I state loud enough for her to hear me. “Put your shoes on so you can walk with Josh to pick up our pizza.”

Gigi squeals in delight and runs over to the bench near the front door. I move to get up but Josh assures me he’ll help her. I watch from a distance as my boyfriend learns first hand just how long it can take to put shoes on a three year old. There are entire pieces of legislation he’s probably pushed through the house faster that Gigi puts her shoes on.

“I want to go too,” Emily whispers from next to me on the couch.

“Well, why don’t you stay with me this time, and next time you can go by yourself with Josh.”

Emily’s bottom lip pops out in a tiny pout, but I give her a look that quiets any further complaint.

“Okay...” she relents. “But I get to go without Gigi next time.”

“Alright.” I put my arm around her and pull her close.

Josh takes Gigi’s hand and informs me they’ll be right back.

“Bye, Mama!” Gigi waves.

“Lock the door, Donnatella,” Josh reminds as he leaves.

I pick up a bit while they’re gone, grabbing a few plates and napkins while Emily dutifly gathers her things. 10 minutes later, Josh walks up the sidewalk with a pizza in his hand, and a smiling Gigi on his hip. It makes my heart sing. He really is a natural.

We have dinner and the girls both play quietly before bed. They know their options for wind down time. Gigi’s sugar rush wears off and she starts to crash a bit early. I get bath time going while Josh returns a phone call from work and Gigi can hardly keep her eyes open by the time I'm putting her pajamas on. Emily isn’t quite ready for bed yet, and requests a few pages of a book we’ve been reading. Josh is quickly appointed with the task of reading out loud as Em climbs under the covers. I lay down on top of her quilt and listen, and she falls asleep quickly.

We wander back downstairs and both collapse on the couch as I turn on TV, finding a Sunday evening news show that we both enjoy. I quickly become fascinated with a segment about endangered waterfowl and curl up next to Josh.

My hands find his hair and he lets out a contented sigh as I gently run my fingers through his curls. It’s only a few more minutes before he’s snoring softly next to me.

There’s been no shortage of rules when it comes to my budding relationship with Josh, and I’ll always protect my girls. But in this moment I realize I’ve been keeping him at arms length to an extent, and I don’t want to do that. I’m ready for more that I’ve been hard pressed to acknowledge. I remind myself that I just need to have a little faith that this will work out. He’s given me no reason to doubt him. Besides, the girls already adore him.

“Josh?” I whisper softly, kissing his cheek to gently wake him.

“Mmm?” He mutters, shifting around on the couch. Suddenly his eyes fly open as though he’s startled. “I fell asleep. I’m so sorry.”

He sits up and looks around in concern. I can tell he’s trying to figure out whether I’m upset and if he’s made a major mistake. It makes my heart twinge to see him so worried that he’s crossed an invisible line that I didn’t really mean to draw in the first place.

“It’s okay,” I tell him, “Actually, I’d like it if you stayed.”

“But what about…” he glances towards the staircase.

“It’s late,” I explain. “And we’re tired. It’s just sleeping. Besides, I assume you have to get up early for work anyway, so no one will be the wiser. And if they wake up, they wake up. The girls adore you, Josh. And I’m sorry if I’ve made you think I don’t trust you or that I don’t want you here.”

He gives me a gentle smile. “I appreciate that. But you don’t have to do this. You don’t have anything to prove to me.”

“I know,” I assure him as I stand up and reach my hand out to him.

He stands and I wrap my arms around his waist.

“Let me rephrase. Josh? I’d like you to stay.”

“Okay.” He gives me a full dimpled grin and kisses me softly.

“Okay.” I parrot back, taking his hand and leading him up the stairs to my bedroom.

Chapter Text

“What’s in the bag?” Sam sits down next to me and nods his head towards the large plastic bag from the gift shop I stopped by on our swing through Northern California.

“Nothing.” I try to brush him off.

“Well it’s obviously something.” He leans back in his chair and gives me an appraising look.

“I’m seeing someone,” I tell him. It’s not that I don’t want to tell anyone about Donna, as a matter of fact I want to shout it from the rooftops. It’s just that they’re precious to me, so I’m playing this one close to the vest. “It’s pretty serious. And I bought a few souvenirs, that’s all.”

“You’re seeing someone.” Sam repeats. “And so you bought her two stuffed sea lions and a children’s book about sea life from the California swing.”

“Well if you already know what’s in the bag, why did you ask?” I retort.

“Because for five months you’ve been walking around with a stupid smile on your face, leaving the office at a comparatively reasonable hour, and making excuses for reasons you can’t grab a beer at Hawk & Dove. It’s pretty obvious you’re seeing someone, Josh. You’re not that smooth. The question is more of why can’t we meet her?”

I sigh. I knew this was coming. “It’s not that I don’t want you to meet her. She’s great. You’d love her. It’s just a little more complicated.”

“How complicated can it be?” Sam questions as Toby sits down across the table but says nothing as he sips a Jack and Coke.

“She has two little girls,” I explain, unable to avoid the smile that I feel crawling across my face as I talk about them. “So logistics aren’t exactly conducive to meeting up for a late night drink.”

“She has kids?” Sam looks shocked.

“They’re great, Sam. Really. They’re so smart and so funny and they have this way of looking at the world that just makes me want to give it to them on a silver platter. And it makes me get up in the morning, ready to tackle whatever problems it throws at us, because I’ve got to fix---“

I stop short, realizing what I’m saying as the words tumble out of my mouth and I stare at the faces of the senior staff. I mean every word, but I can tell that my friends are thrown off.

CJ walks over and perches on the edge of the chair next to mine.

“What?” I bite out in anticipation of whatever she has to say. I’m already on the defense.

“The girls from the mall?” CJ asks, her face unreadable.

“Yes.” How many women with small children does she think I’m seeing?

“You seemed like a nice little family.” She gives me a small smile that reminds me why she’s both a phenomenal Press Secretary and friend, when I told her I wasn’t ready to talk about my personal life, she didn’t push me.

My chest puffs with pride at her analysis.

“You’ve met them?” Sam chimes in. “When?”

“A few weeks ago. I took Hogan back to school shopping and I was sure my eyes were deceiving me when I saw Josh cleaning something sticky off of a two year old.

“Juice,” I supply. “And she’s 3.”

“Seems like something that might come up again in conversation.” Toby voices his opinion for the first time.

“Since I have nothing else to think about, other than Josh’s dating life, as the voice for the leader of the free world amid a re-election campaign,” CJ quips, shooting him a scowl.

“So, what, you leave the White House and go over to play happy family a few nights a week in order to get in good graces with the mom?” Sam questions, his tone is light enough that he might just be teasing, but I don’t like it at all..

“It’s not like that.” I feel my jaw clench and I wonder if Sam is aware of how shaky the ground is where he’s currently treading.

“What does she do?” CJ jumps in to distract me.

“She’s a librarian in Foggy Bottom,” I explain, glad to have a reason to talk about Donna. “Mrs. Landingham introduced us.”

“And you’ve been seeing her for 5 months?” Sam recaps.

I nod my confirmation.

“Her name is… Donna, right?” CJ recalls smiling at me. She’s really helping me feel like she’s accepting all of this. I’m still not so sure about Sam and Toby.

“So do we get to meet Donna?” Sam asks, and it occurs to me that maybe he’s just a little jealous that CJ’s more in the know than he is. And maybe I’ve been neglecting our friendship a little, but, maybe if he meets Donna, he’ll understand. And if not, well, that’s his problem.

“I guess you’ll meet her Thursday,” I shrug, letting him know that his desire to meet Donna isn’t my main priority. “She’s taking a tour of the White House with the group from Southside Elementary.”

“That’s the kid’s school?” Toby clarifies.

“Emily,” I supply with a smile. “She’s in kindergarten this year. She’s so excited. She made a little paper chain to count down the days and hung it in the kitchen near the fridge.”

That earns a smile from CJ and a chuckle from Sam, and I’m beginning to feel a little more at ease with my friends. I never meant to keep these portions of my life separate for so long, but there never seemed to be a perfect time to bring it up, either. Especially since Donna seemed to want to take it slow.

Since the cat is out of the bag, I figure the sea lions might as well be also. I pull them out to show them off, and I shamelessly gush about how well Emily’s reading. And how energetic and creative Gigi is, and about how perfect Donna is, for the next 20 minutes until we land at Andrews and pile into the motorcade.

Unfortunately I need to make a quick stop in my office to make sure the Republican leadership hasn’t set anything on fire in the last three days. But as soon as I verify that we’re still in power, I’m quickly out the door again. I toss my bags into the trunk of my car and yawning as I pull out of the parking lot. I’m exhausted but it’s still early. I can make it to Donna’s before bedtime. Perfect timing for the stuffed animals and a goodnight story. Maybe I’m getting the hang of this after all.

I luck into a good parking spot on her block and in a flash I’m unlocking the front door with the key Donna gave me last week.

“Hello?” I call.

“Josh!” Gigi shouts from upstairs. “Josh! Josh!”

I break into a grin at the sound of her eagerness.

“We’re up here,” Donna calls as I lock up behind me and shrug out of my backpack and jacket.

Emily meets me at the top of the steps, her damp hair neatly combed and already in her pajamas.

She throws her arms around my neck before I’m all the way up the stairs.

One arm wraps around her as the other reaches for the rail to make sure I don’t fall with her.

“Hi, sweetie.” I respond, hugging her once I have my balance. As I carry her the rest of the way up the stairs, she’s chatting away, telling me all about her day at school. Luckily we’ve cleared the landing when Gigi comes flying out of her room and barrels into me, grabbing onto my leg. My heart feels as though it’s about to burst. This type of welcome back feels like coming home. And this place really is feeling more like home every day.

I scoop down and snag Gigi with the other arm. She giggles as I haul her up to the opposite hip squeezing her in a hug. It’s then that Donna emerges from the end of the hallway and my breath catches for a moment. I’ve missed her so much over the last four days that I physically ached.

She wastes no time making her way down the hall towards me, kissing me hello. My arms are occupied, which is probably a good thing because if I didn’t have the girls, I’m sure I could devour her on the spot. Even with them it’s taking all of my self control to hold back. I do give her an extra long kiss though, and I’m rewarded with a grin when she eventually pulls away.

“You’re just in time to help these girls get to bed!” Donna announces, causing both girls to whine.

“But, Mommy! Josh just got here!” Emily points out as if that’s the final word.

“Don’t wanna go to sleep.” Gigi states emphatically, just in case we missed her sister’s point.

“How about an extra story and some presents?” I offer, “but only if you cooperate.”

“Okay!” Gigi quickly agrees, while Emily seems to think it over. I give her a little squeeze and flash my dimples at her and she relents.

“Okay, I guess that’s fair.” She agrees softly.

“Great!” Donna weighs in. “Go brush your teeth.”

“I’ll go back down and get the presents while you’re brushing.” I tell the girls. Donna deposits them in the bathroom, then follows me down the stairs.

I pull her tight for another long searing kiss. I’m really glad to see all three of them, but I hope the girls fall asleep quickly.

The kiss ends when Emily yells. “We’re done!”

Donna pulls away, then looks at me with a glint in her eye.

“Bribery.” She teases. “I like it. You’re getting good at this parenting thing.”

“I’m a master negotiator.” I tell her smugly.

“JOSH!” Gigi shouts from the top of the stairs. “YOU SAID PRESENTS!”

I grab the bag to hustle up to the girls while Donna laughs at me. “Yeah, sure, you’re the master negotiator, rookie.”

“JOSH!!”

Chapter Text

I’m well into my second glass of wine and feeling pretty good when Josh finally makes his way down the stairs.

“Now I get why you called me a rookie.” He confesses.

“How many did they roll you for?”

“Five. Because they each got 1, plus they each got one extra, plus the one I brought as a gift didn’t count.”

I can’t help but laugh lightly at him. He looks a little guilty, but I don’t really mind. It was nice to have time to myself to unwind, and how could I be upset when he’s so good with them. The only problem is I might be just a little tipsy.

“Did you bring me a present?” I ask, doing my best imitation of Gigi’s pout.

“Of course I did.”

He pulls a box out of his pocket and presents it to me with a flourish. I’m not faking the little squeal I let out when I open in and discover a beautiful bracelet made out of blue and green sea glass. Josh looks pleased. As he should. He did well.

“Thank you, Josh! It’s so pretty.” I tell him as I fasten it to my wrist. He doesn’t know this yet, but it perfect matches the underwear I’ve chosen to welcome him home.

“It reminds me of your eyes. Not always blue, not always green. I thought a lot about your eyes the last 4 days.”

“My eyes?!?” I scoff a little as I crawl into his lap, bringing the light blanket I was curled up under with me. He’s thinking about my eyes? That’s sweet but it’s not what I’ve been thinking about.

“I’ve been thinking about other parts of you for the last four days.” I assure him in a husky voice, as my hands start tugging his shirt out of his pants. While I work at his clothes I lean into him for another deep kiss.

When I break the kiss off to work on his belt, he seems like he’s struggling for a coherent thought. “I didn’t just think about your eyes. I, uh, thought about other parts too.”

“Oh yeah?” I smirk, wondering if it’s up for a little bit of fun. “Like what?”

His eyebrows raise a bit at my line of questioning but he doesn’t startle easily.

“Well…” he thumbs the hem of my shirt.

“Show me,” I lean in and whisper in his ear as I straddle him.

I feel his hands run up my sweater as the weight of my body sinks into his lap. I rock my hips slightly and he lets out a soft moan which serves only to encourage me.

His hands slide across the lace of my bra and cups my breasts, his thumbs grazing across my nipples. I don’t think there’s any question as to how turned on he’s making me.

I lean over and whisper in his ear again, telling him in a low, needy, whisper exactly why I’ve missed him the most at night.

I can feel his arousal growing as I continue to rock back and forth against him in slow ministrations. I think it’s safe to say we’re both enjoying this exploration on the couch.

“Donna,” he chokes out suddenly, his hands moving quickly to my hips as his grip tightens to steady me. “You’ve gotta stop. I’m gonna-“

I cut his words off with a kiss and move ever so slightly in repose. He groans again. I know the feeling. I’m not even sure how I’ll make it upstairs.

“I want you. Now.” I whisper, leaving no room for misunderstanding.

I reach for the button in his fly and quickly unzip his pants, reaching into his boxers and stroking his member as I reposition myself slightly.

“Donna- but-“ it’s all he can muster at the moment.

“It’s okay,” I assure him, “I’m sure they’re already asleep.” Still I pull the blanket over us, just to be safe.

I sink down onto his length and we both let out a shuttered breath. I rock my hips again and start to whisper in his ear. “This is going to be fast. Take me hard.”

I follow that with a detailed description of how deprived I’ve been having to meet my own needs while he’s been gone. Telling him how much I need him is apparently the last bit of encouragement he needs. His grip on my hips tightens and suddenly he’s slamming into me. I feel him push me over the edge as my body tightens and explodes with pleasure. He lets himself go too with a quiet string of expletives and a gasp for air.

I drop my head to his chest, suddenly exhausted now that I’m satisfied. That was intense. I can hear Josh’s heart pounding away beneath my ear. He sighs deeply and strokes my head while we both calm down. Eventually his heart returns to normal and his hand stills. I lift my head to look to see if he’s fallen asleep, but he’s not. He’s just looking at me with the most content smile on his face. That’s how I feel too.

But I’d better get up or I’m going to fall asleep.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not any more.” He smirks.

“Josh! I meant food.”

“I guess I could eat.”

“I’ve got some leftover meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

“That sounds great.”

While his meal is heating in the microwave, I slip upstairs and check on the girls. Sure enough they are both completely out. Then I get myself cleaned up and put on some flannel pajama bottoms and a t-shirt.

When I come back downstairs, I find Josh at the table with his plate.

“You can bring that out to the living room if you want. We can watch Wolf.”

“That would be nice.”

He follows me out to the living room and we settle into a nice domestic evening. The next thing I know, Josh is waking me up.

“Donna. . . It’s 11.” He shakes my shoulder a little until I open my eyes.

“Sorry. I’m kind of tired.”

“It’s fine. I think it’s time for bed.”

“You’ll stay?” He stays more nights than not, always leaving before the girls wake up, but he never presumes, so I always ask.

“Yeah, I’ll stay. Honestly, Donna, there’s nothing I want more than to hold you tonight while we sleep.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Chapter Text

When the alarm clock on my side of the bed goes off at 5:15, I’m quick to turn it off. I don’t want to wake up the whole house. Donna stirs a bit so I kiss her good morning and tell her to go back to sleep while I grab my DOP kit from under the bed to go take a shower. After I’m done shaving and brushing my teeth, I slip back into the bedroom and pull a fresh suit from the back of her closet. At this point I have several choices of shirts and ties stashed at her place, so it’s no issue finding something that matches.

She stretches as I’m buttoning my shirt, before sitting up in bed and clicking the lamp on.

“Morning.” She yawns.

“Morning.” I can’t resist the opportunity to walk over and kiss her again.

“What time is senior staff?” She knows my routine and I find it oddly comforting to be in a domestic situation with her.

“7:15. But I have to meet with Toby about a few things before we go to Leo’s office. Then I have a meeting on The Hill at 8:30, and another in the Roosevelt Room at 10. And then,” I drag out my sentence for dramatic effect. “I’m going on a tour of The White House with Mrs. Wallace’s kindergarten class.”

“Oh?” She toys with me.

“I hear the room mom is really hot.” I grin at her and she laughs.

“I’ll meet you guys at the front desk when you come through security. The gate guard is going to call me. Then when it’s done I thought we could try to grab lunch?” I ask hopefully.

“You won’t be too busy? You’re already taking time for the tour.”

“Never too busy for you,” I assure her.

She stands up and straightens my tie.

“Hey, there is one other thing,” I begin with some hesitance. I’ve been meaning to talk to her about this, but we seem to be going full speed at all times.

“Hmm?” She tilts her head a bit to listen to me.

“Ah, I was thinking… My friends really want to meet you, and I’d really like to introduce you to them, too. So I can order lunch from the deli down the block and we can eat in my office with them. Or actually, we can just say hi to them and go to the deli alone. Why should they get to spend time with you?”

She laughs and smirks at me. “We’ll order in. I’d like to meet them too. After all, they’ve known you for longer than I have, so they probably have stories about you.”

“Nevermind. This is a huge mistake,” I joke.

“Go to work.” She rolls her eyes. “You’re going to be late for your meeting with Toby, and I have to get in the shower anyway.”

“Kay. I’ll put the coffee on before I leave.”

“Thanks. And grab one of those protein bars you like. I put a box in the pantry. You need to eat breakfast.”

“Yes, dear.”
……

Of all the days to be behind schedule! Not that it’s unusual to be behind schedule but I didn’t want it to happen today. I tried to get out of my 10 o’clock early, but still I’m running late. And literally running towards the front lobby so that I can meet Emily’s class. But as I’m sliding through the lobby, the doors on the far end open and a line of little people start to filter though.

The last ones through the doors are Emily, followed by Donna.

“JOSH!” Emily yells as she breaks ranks. She runs towards me, throwing her arms up at the last second so I can swing her up into a hug. She buries her head in my neck.

“Hi pumpkin. It’s good to see you.”

“We’re getting a tour.” She tells me.

“Yes, I know.”

“He’s supposed to tell us things.” She whispers, pointing at Sam, who got roped into filling in for me. “But he doesn’t seem to know anything.”

“Well, I’m here now. Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s okay.”

“Can you get back in line now? Or do you want to hold my hand and help lead?”

As I set her down she appears to consider the options. I’m a little surprised until I remember what she was like when I first met her. She’s not very outgoing around strangers.

After a moment she slips her hand into mine, so I guess that’s my answer. Emily and I walk back to the group.

“Thanks, Sam. I’ll take over now.”

“Awesome.” Sam murmurs, before giving Emily one of his thousand watt smiles. “Can I at least meet Emily?”

Emily turns and buries her face in my leg.

I crouch down to her eye level and speak softly to her. “Emily, this is Sam. He’s one of my best friends, and he really wants to meet you. Would you like to meet him?”

She doesn’t speak but she nods her head. I give her a few more seconds. Then she peeks out.

“Sam, this is Emily, one of my favorite girls. Emily, this is Sam. He doesn’t know much about this building but he’s a good guy.”

Sam chuckles. “It’s very nice to meet you Emily.” Sam offers holding out his hand. Emily reaches out and tentatively shakes it. Sam gives her another smile. Then he looks back at Donna hopefully.

“Later, Sam.” I tell him curtly. “We have a tour to do first.” I point to the rest of the group who are scattered around the lobby in small groups with chaperones showing them some of the art work.

“Okay, class.” I call out to get their attention, “who would like to see the Roosevelt Room?”

. . . .

Ninety minutes later I’m completely exhausted. For some reason I thought I was ready for this, but twenty 5 and 6 year olds is nothing like one 5 year old, even one 5 year old and a very energetic 3 year old. Oy.

And on top of it all, one of the chaperones called in sick this morning, and now Donna has to ride the bus back with the kids instead of getting to stay and have lunch with me.

And since she didn’t get to have lunch with us, she’s invited CJ, Sam, and Toby over for drinks this evening after the girls go to bed. So no lunch date and now I have to share her tonight. I really don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this.

“Oh Josh?” CJ pokes her head into my office around 1, “got a minute?”

“Sure.”

She wanders in and sits down in a visitor’s chair across from me. Then proceeds to steeple her fingers together, press them to her lips and just stare at me.

“Is this what we’re doing the whole time? Because I do have other things I could be doing.” I snip at her, feeling a little uncomfortable under her gaze.

“You know I love you, right?”

“Gee, Ceej, that’s nice and all, but I’m kinda seeing someone right now.” I snark.

“HaHa, idiot boy.” She chuckles. “But seriously. I’m telling you this as a friend. Be careful, okay? You’re not just dating Donna. That little girl that I just met thinks you hung the moon. So if you are having any doubts then you need to slow things way down.”

“I don’t have any doubts.” I tell her bluntly.

“You don’t?” She sounds a little surprised. I guess that’s fair. She’s fully aware of my “fan club” and my public persona, and she’s never seen me date anyone seriously.

“Are you going to . . .”

I cut her off before she can ask what I think she’s going to ask. “CJ, I love you too. You’re like a big sister to me.”

“HEY! I’m only six months older than you.”

“Still, I’m not going to tell you what the future might look like for Donna and I. Decisions like that are between the two of us, and we’ll decide together what and when to share. But I hope you have enough faith in me to believe that I’d sacrifice anything to keep the three of them from getting hurt.

“I believe you, Josh.” CJ reassures me before she slips away.

. . . . .

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. Non-stop meetings. To add insult to injury, I’m stuck at work until 8:30, so not only do I miss the bed time routine, I’m stuck chauffeuring Sam so now I’m not going to get Donna to myself for even a few minutes.

When I pull up to Donna’s house with Sam in the passenger seat, my grumpy thoughts vanish. He insisted on stopping for a bottle of wine because he didn’t want to show up empty handed. And since Sam was bringing wine, I wasn’t going to be outdone so naturally I grabbed some nice flowers.

Toby and CJ are only about 5 minutes behind us, but I don’t want to wait for them. Why should I give up any time with Donna?

“You have a key?” Sam questions when I let us into the house.

“Well, yeah. The girls are already asleep. I’m not going to wake them up by knocking. And I’m certainly not going to leave the door unlocked in the morning when I head for work.”

“Okay.” Sam states matter of factly even while his eyebrows go up a bit at my explanation. But I really don’t care. As we walk into the living room, Donna arounds the corner from the kitchen in a flash, grinning at our arrival. She must have heard us come in. I hope we didn’t wake up the girls.

“Hi,” I meet her halfway, stepping out of Sam’s line of sight as I pull her close and give her a deep kiss before handing her the flowers.

“Thanks, they’re beautiful.” She tells me as she steps around me to greet Sam.

“Hi, I’m Donna.” She says, holding out her hand. “I’m glad you could come over.”

“I’m Sam.” He responds, “I’m so glad to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh really?” Donna drawls, “hopefully all good.”

“Um, yeah. The way Josh talks about you I think that you are not only the world’s greatest Mom, but you’ve also probably single-handedly stopped child illiteracy, and you’re also the prettiest woman he’s ever met.” Sam laughs, “he’s obviously right.”

“Oh, I like you, Sam!” Donna laughs and hugs him. I feel a flair of jealousy. Sam’s my best friend, but I don’t like sharing. Not one bit.

Luckily, I’m saved as I see headlights flash out the window. “Sam, get the door for CJ and Toby, while I help Donna get the beer and put the flowers in some water.”

“Oh, hey! I brought wine.” Sam remembers, thrusting the bottle at her.

Chapter Text

“Thanks, Sam, that was sweet of you.”

“I brought flowers!” Josh chimes in. Sam and I both look at him like he’s gone round the bend. Then I realize that Josh is a little jealous. Well. I gotta say, that’s actually kind of flattering. But completely unnecessarily.

“Yes, you did.” I stroke his face with my fingers, “and I love you.” I give him a quick smooch before I turn towards the kitchen.

“Sam, do you want me to open this now? Or do you want beer?”

“Oh that’s a gift. I’d rather have a beer.”

. . . .

“And that’s how we ended up with a secret plan to fight inflation.” CJ concludes as I wipe tears from my eyes. She’s hysterical. Josh is only slightly pink from embarrassment as he gives me a small smile.

“Would you like to hear about the time that Sam almost set the White House on fire? He asks sweetly.

“Hey! That wasn’t just me.” Sam protests, while Toby just rolls his eyes.

“As I recall, both of you children were equally at fault.” He mutters before taking a long swig.

“Well then, now I REALLY want to hear about it.” I insist.

“January, almost two years ago, we had that really cold spell, remember?” CJ takes over the story and I’m glad for it. I’m more likely to hear more about Josh this way. I nod so CJ will continue.

“The heat went out in the West Wing.”

“It was like Ice Station Zebra.” Josh mutters.

CJ gives him a look before continuing “Most people don’t realize this, but with the building being so old, there are a lot of issues with the heating and electrical. Not to mention the space.”

“Oh really, it seemed so nice during the tour.”

“Well that’s why we stick to the lobby, the Oval Office, the Roosevelt room and the Mural room. Speaking of which, you remember the Mural room?”

“Yes. It’s gorgeous.”

“Do you recall the big beautiful fireplace?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Well, the boy scouts over here decided to start a fire in it to warm the place up.”

“Okay, so?” Seems like a pretty practical solution to me.

“Well, the flue has been welded shut for over a hundred years. And the logs they used were decorative. They ended up filling the room with smoke, setting off the sprinklers, AND the alarms, which mean that the President had to be evacuated.”

“Oh my! But how would they know?” I ask, still on Josh and Sam’s side.

“There’s a plaque on the wall.” Toby inserts dryly. “If either of them bothered to read it, they would have known.”

“It’s not like we expected there to be instruction on the wall, Toby!” Josh proclaims, “I mean, have you read all the plaques in the whole building?”

“Yes.” Toby answers. “I found it helpful in case I have to give tours to small children.” He looks at Sam pointedly and Sam immediately starts to blush. I hope he didn’t get in trouble with his boss this morning. He didn’t do as good of a job as Josh did once he took over but it wasn’t that bad.

CJ and Josh smirk at each other and I feel a little in the dark. Maybe I’ll ask Josh later if I’m missing something.

Sam notices the smirking and decides to jump in. “Well, at least I wasn’t involved in that prank war that ended up with Mrs. Landingham locked in a closet!”

“Oh no.” CJ and Josh groan together.

“Oh, this sounds good! Tell me, Sam!”

“I’m not sure how it started.”

“S/He started it!” CJ & Josh simultaneously respond.

Sam ignores them and continues. “But I know how it ended. Josh took all the screws out of CJ’s desk and it collapsed. Leo was irritated and told him to fix it. So CJ had the brilliant idea to rig the supply closet so that it would lock him in. But instead of Josh, she trapped Mrs. Landingham!”

Josh has the good grace to look sheepish. “I got called into a meeting, and Mrs. Landingham volunteered to get the equipment for me. After the meeting, on the way out, I was following CJ back to her office. She asked what I was doing and I told her that I’d come fix her desk right away because Mrs. Landingham had put everything I needed in there. CJ turns bright red and screams “OH MY GOD NO!!” in the middle of the hall.

Now CJ looks embarrassed, while Josh continues. “CJ takes off running. And I gotta tell you I’m impressed at how fast she can run in heels.”

“So I get to the closet first,” CJ takes over, “and it’s quiet. No pounding or anything. So I think maybe I’ve lucked out and it didn’t work. So I try to open the door, but the handle comes off the rest of the way in my hand.”

“So when I get there, CJ is bent over looking through the opening where there’s no longer a door knob. And then we hear Mrs. Landingham’s sweet voice.”

“Oh, hello dear, can you get me out of here? I’ve been stuck for almost an hour.” CJ mimics, her face bright red.

“Oh my god.” I’m laughing at the two of them.

“It took another 25 minutes to get her out!” Josh hoots.

“And we made her miss her appointment to go pick up her first new car. She ended up having to do it the next day.”

“OH! I remember that. She was going to show me the car when she brought it home. When I asked her about it, she just said she got caught up in something and couldn’t leave work and that she’d pick it up another time.”

“She’s so nice. She didn’t rat us out to Leo or the President either.” Josh proclaims earnestly.

“Can you imagine?” CJ snickers. “The President would have killed us!”

“Just me.” Josh grouses good naturedly. “You’re like a daughter, you’d get off scott-free.”

“Speaking of daughters,” Toby changes the subject. “It was nice to meet Emily today. She’s very polite.”

“Thank you. She really enjoyed the tour. She loves learning new things.”

“And you have another daughter?”

“Giovanna, Gigi I call her. She’s three. She was at daycare. She’s not quite ready for the White House yet. Or maybe I should say the White House isn’t quite ready for Gigi.”

“She’s a handful?” Sam asks.

“She’s just high spirited!” Josh defends her. “She’s a wonderful little girl.”

The other three look amused at Josh’s declaration and I have to wonder if Sam riled him up on purpose, but I can’t help but be pleased that Josh is vocal with his praise of my girls.

Chapter Text

*Several Weeks Later*

As Donna rockets out of bed, I bolt upright and look around the dark room, completely disoriented. . 

“Wha?” I mumble but she’s out the door and halfway down the hall before I can get out a question. That’s when I hear the soft cry coming from Gigi’s room. Suddenly, I’m throwing on my undershirt and I’m right behind her. 

“Mama!” It rings down the hall with enough desperation that my chest feels like it physically constricts. 

Donna scoops Gigi out of bed and snuggles her close.

“Tell me what’s wrong,” she asks gently, her hand moving to Gigi’s forehead to check her temperature as she walks towards the bathroom that the girls share. 

“My throat.” Gigi croaks out, touching her neck.

“Okay.” Donna kisses the top of Gigi’s head and flips on the light in the bathroom. 

I hang back in the doorway, not quite sure what I should be doing but needing to be nearby. 

Donna pulls out a thermometer and sticks it gently in Gigi’s ear and waits for the beep. She looks at it and bites her lip in concern, which causes my pulse to speed up. It’s clear Gigi’s running a fever. She’s sweaty and flushed. 

“What is it?” I step closer to them and peer over Donna’s shoulder. 101.8

“What should I do?” I ask. I don’t have a lot of experience with sick kids, but I love these girls and I’m willing to try anything to make Gigi feel better. 

“Oh, that’s okay. You can go back to sleep,” Donna assures me, looking through the cabinet with one hand as she juggles Gigi with the other.

“Donna.” I give her a look. We’ve had this conversation before. When I offer to help, I’m being sincere. We’re a team now and she doesn’t have to handle things alone. 

“She needs some ibuprofen for her fever. The liquid kind in the medicine cabinet in our room. And a bath. And fresh jammies.” Donna rattles off the list. 

“Okay.” I nod my head and contemplate for a split second where I should be starting, turning to bolt to the medicine cabinet first. I stop in my tracks, though, When Emily stumbles to the door. Oh, God. Is she sick too?

“Josh?” She rubs her eyes.

“Yeah, princess?” I lean down to her, trying to determine if she looks okay.

“What’s wrong with Gigi?”

“Oh, she’s just got a sore throat. She’ll be okay.” I try not to worry Emily. “Come on, you can go back to sleep.”

I take her hand as Donna walks towards the en suite in the master, mouthing a ‘thank you’ as I lead Emily, who is still half asleep, back to her room and tuck her in. I gently feel her forehead for any signs of a temperature, and I’m relieved when there aren’t any. 

She’s sleeping soundly almost instantly, which isn’t completely shocking since it’s 4:00 in the morning, and I quietly close the door behind me as I leave and head back to check on Gigi and Donna. 

Gigi is in a less than agreeable mood from the sounds of things. I can hear Donna giving her a cool bath in the tub so I make myself useful and grab a fresh pair of pajamas and a well loved stuffed duckling from Gigi’s room. Then I quietly make my way downstairs and grab a cup with a lid, filling it with the pedialyte I’ve seen sitting in the side shelf of the fridge. I know you’re supposed to drink lots of liquids when you have a fever. 

Donna’s just pulling Gigi out of the tub when I make it back upstairs. She seems pleased that I’ve gathered the correct things, and I’ll count that as a success. 

She’s looking a bit flustered from the water that’s soaked through her T-shirt and the children’s medication that Gigi clearly spilled on her. 

I hold up the pedialyte, silently asking if I should give it to Gigi, but Donna gives it a skeptical look. 

“No?” I ask, not wanting to make this situation worse. “I thought it was for fevers.”

“It is,” Donna assures. “But I’m not too confident about what she has. And I don’t want it to be the stomach flu.”

“Oh.” I stop. “Oh!” 

Yeah. I don’t think any of us want that. 

“That was a good thought though,” she tells me. “And I’m sure we will be glad it’s ready to go tomorrow.”

“Right. I’ll put it in the fridge.” 

I head back downstairs and place the cup on the top shelf. When I close the door I’m face to face with the sign for the fall festival at Emily’s school tomorrow. Donna is in charge of bringing cupcakes, and she’s working the bean bag toss game. 

I sigh, knowing that Emily has been looking forward to this for weeks. 

When I return to our bedroom, Donna is trying to convince Gigi it’s time to lay back down. 

“Why don’t you put on some dry pajamas and lay down too,” I suggest, opening my arms as Donna nods her agreement and transfers Gigi over to me. 

“How ya doin, pumpkin?” I ask, gently rubbing her back as she lays her head on my shoulder with a little whimper. 

“You’ll feel better soon,” I assure as I start to sway back and forth. “I’ve got you.”

Gigi’s eyes grow heavier as I hum softly to her, and it’s only a few minutes later that she’s out. I realize I don’t have magical baby powers, so I assume Donna gave her some kind of nighttime fever reducer. 

“She’s going to need you tomorrow,” I gesture to Donna to lay down before giving Gigi a soft kiss on her forehead and laying her next to her mother. I quietly grab a sweatshirt and pair of jeans from the dresser. 

“Where are you going?” Donna asks. “It’s the middle of the night.”

“It’s 5,” I tell her. “I’m going to run to the all night pharmacy because you’re almost out of that orange medicine you gave Gigi and you also signed us up for cupcakes tomorrow.”

“Fall festival.” She half pouts. “Em is going to be so disappointed.”

“No,” I shake my head. “She’s been looking forward to this. I’ll take her. I’ll buy some cupcakes and work the bean bag toss in your place.”

“You can’t,” Donna explains, still tucking in the blankets around Gigi who is quickly molding to her side. 

“How hard can it be?” I protest. 

Donna rolls her eyes. “It’s not that you can’t do a bean bag toss, it’s that you aren’t on the approved list at school.”

“The what?”

“The approved list. To be a parent helper or volunteer you have to go through a screening process before you can be around the kids.”

“Donna.” I posture. “I have a top secret security clearance and the diplomatic ranking of a 4 star general. I can man the bean bag toss at Southside Elementary.”

She quirks an eyebrow up at me and I know I’m not allowed to fight with the other PTA moms on this one. It’s a shame though, because I don’t think they’re very nice to Donna and I wouldn’t mind having a word with them. 

“Well, then you’ll go to the fall festival and I’ll stay with Gigi.” 

She bites her lip in consideration. I know she’s not doubting me. She just doesn’t want to leave her sick baby. 

“Either way,” I reason, “we’re going to need cupcakes, and the bakeries open in 20 minutes. So I’ll be back.”

An hour later I quietly walk through the front door with 2 dozen vanilla frosted cupcakes from a nut free bakery, two bottles of festive fall sprinkles and a bag of marshmallow pumpkin candies. Emily can decorate them before she takes them to school. 

I peek in on Donna and Gigi, who are both sleeping soundly for the moment, before I head back downstairs and make a few calls. Our household might not be awake, but most of senior staff is already on their way to the office. I reorganize my already light morning at work and tell them I’ll try to be in by 1, but I make no guarantees. 

I push through a little paperwork so I can sit in on senior staff via phone and be up to speed, and when the time comes i head upstairs to wake Emily for school. She decorates the cupcakes while I make her scrambled eggs and toast. 

Eventually I have no choice but to gently wake Donna. I don’t think I’m quite ready to tackle fixing Emily’s hair. 

When she stirs I bring her up to speed on my plan for the day. She’ll go to the fall festival this morning and I’ll stay home with Gigi. We’ll meet here for lunch, and then she’ll take Gigi to the pediatrician in the afternoon while I go to work for a few hours, and I’ll pick Emily up on my way home. I take Gigi and Donna hops into the shower. 

I’m laying on the couch with Gigi, who is sleeping lightly on my chest as Reading Rainbow plays at a low volume on TV. Emily’s patiently waiting for Donna to fix her hair as she chatters happily to me, telling me about the special cardigan she picked out with the fall leaves embroidered on the front. 

Gigi stirs and repositions herself with her face in my neck. She makes a pathetic little whimpering sound and it kills me that I can’t do anything to make her more comfortable. I continue to rub her back and speak softly to her in an attempt to sooth her back to sleep. She has a grip on my T-shirt and even though I hate that she’s sick, I find it pleasing that she takes solace in me. Sometimes it’s still hard for me to believe that I’ve morphed into a family man, but there’s nowhere else I’d rather be than with these women. 

Donna comes down the stairs and she looks amazing. I stare at her for a moment, just taking her in. She meets my gaze and I’m rewarded with a gentle smile as she walks over to the couch, placing a gentle hand on Gigi’s back and looking her over closely. 

“She’s been asleep for about twenty minutes,” I inform her. 

Donna perches on the edge of the chair next to the couch and quickly brushes and braids Emily’s hair, while giving me a rundown of how to reach her and which doctor to call should I need something. 

“Babe.” I gently pull her from her rambling. “It’s going to be okay. I’m not going to let anything happen to her.”

“I know.” She lets out a puff of air. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” I reach out my hand to her as Emily runs over to retrieve her backpack so she can head to school. “I’m right where I want to be.”  

“I love you.” She leans in and gives me a gentle, lingering kiss. 

God, I love her too. And I tell her so. 

She smooths Gigi’s hair out of her face and gives the baby a gentle kiss goodbye too. 

“Ready, Em?” She calls as she gathers the cupcakes and her purse. 

Emily pops out of the kitchen with her shoes and backpack on, ready to conquer the day. 

“Have fun at the fall festival,” I tell her. 

“Oh, I will. Thank you.” She tells me enthusiastically as she walks over and lowers her voice to a whisper as she softly pats the back of her sleeping sister. “Bye bye, Gigi. I’m sorry you’re sick today.”

And then she does something I’ll never forget. 

“Goodbye, Josh,” she gives me a hug the best that she can with Gigi in the mix before leaning over to kiss my cheek. “I love you.”

Chapter Text

*October 10*

I feel like my heart is going to beat out of my chest when the doorbell finally rings. Josh said he’d be here at 6, and he’s right on time, but my nerves have been building over this evening for quite a while. 

I’ve scrubbed the house from top to bottom, changed outfits several times, and made sure the girls are perfectly put together. I even had my hair and nails done. It’s Josh’s birthday, and his mother is joining us for dinner. 

And they’re here. 

I smooth out my cream colored sweater and take a deep breath, making sure I’m smiling when I open the door. 

Josh is beaming at me and as soon as I see him my smile becomes genuine, growing wide as he leans in to give me a quick kiss hello. 

He pulls back but keeps his arm around me as we stand in the doorway. 

“Mom,” he addresses the small woman standing next to him softly, “I’d like you to meet Donna.”

“Oooh!” She’s practically bursting. “It’s so lovely to make your acquaintance dear.”

She gives me a tight hug and takes my hand, looking between us and smiling. I’m already feeling more at ease.

“Just look at you two,” she bubbles, picking up the large bag next to her. 

“Please, come in.” I step out of the doorway and welcome her into my home. 

Josh locks up behind us and steps into the living room. I’m biting my lip in anticipation of his reaction. He’s told me he wants to keep his birthday to a low key dinner, but the girls couldn’t help themselves. 

I’m worried for nothing, though when his face lights up as he spots the hand made Happy Birthday Josh banner that the girls have helped me paint along with a small gift from each of us. His cake sits in the middle of the island under a stand and, per his request, there is a cheese lasagna in the oven. 

He gives my hand a squeeze and I know he likes it. 

Gigi spots him and immediately begins to shout in excitement, hopping up from where she was seated and bolting over to him. She hasn’t seen him in several days due to hectic schedules and his mother’s arrival in town. 

She launches towards him with full force and he scoops her up, tossing her into the air with equal enthusiasm. She lets out a happy squeal and when he props her on his hip she’s all blonde hair and smiles. 

“Mom, this is Giovanna.”

“I’m Gigi!” She confirms with all of her normal vigor. 

“And this,” he bends down and puts his arm out to greet a silent Em, who followed quickly behind her sister, though with much less commotion. “Is Emily.”

“Aren’t you both just lovely,” she beams, taking in the sight of Josh and the girls, and their mutual adoration. I know the feeling. 

After a few minutes of snuggling, Gigi returns to the dollhouse where they were playing in the corner while Emily hangs back for a while. 

“Happy Birthday, Josh.” She tells him. “We made you a cake!”

“Wow!” He grins at her. “And a nice banner too! I’m such a lucky guy. Which part did you paint?”

While Emily drags Josh over to the banner and begins to point out her detail work, I turn to his mother. 

“Can I offer you something to drink, Mrs. Lyman?”

“Please. Call me Sarah. And yes, a glass of whatever is open would be lovely. But you don’t need to wait on me.”

She follows me into the kitchen, complementing the house as we walk through.  When we arrive in the other room, she opens her bag and pulls out a lovely potted plant and two children’s books.

“A hostess gift.” She murmurs.

“You didn’t have to do that, but thank you!” I give her a quick hug before putting the plant in the window sill.  Then while I pour her a glass of white wine, Sarah examines the hodge podge of items on the refrigerator, complimenting the girls’ artwork. 

Josh joins us after a few moments. Once Emily is satisfied that Josh appreciates her work she rejoins Gigi playing with their dollhouse. He helps himself to a beer from the fridge and leans against the counter as his mother jumps right in to help me slice a few vegetables for the salad. 

He’s mostly just listening to us chat, chiming in here or there with a comment or groaning when she tells me a story about him as a child. 

The sound of a squabble breaks our tranquility and I hear a small crash of plastic doll furniture, a loud “NO!” from Gigi and the ensuing complaints from Emily. 

“Mom! Josh!” Emily whines. “Gigi ruined everything just like she always does!”

“Emily Jane. Giovanna Marielle.” Josh calls their names sternly from where he’s standing. He’s really got the dad voice down. “Be nice to each other and figure out how to get along or you’ll both have to find something else to do.”

“Okay,” Emily grumbles. “I’m sorry.”

“Ahkay! Sorry!” Gigi parrots. 

Josh's mother is biting her lip but I see a small smirk forming nonetheless. We exchange a subtle glance and she reaches out to gently touch my shoulder. I feel a connection with her as we both admire the man Josh has become and the rest of my nerves about the evening subside instantly. 

Thankfully Emily and Gigi are back to good behavior following Josh’s warning and play nicely until the food is on the table and Josh tells them to wash up. 

Dinner is completely enjoyable, and when it’s over, the girls stand next to Josh as we sing and he blows out his candles. They’re both over the moon to give him the gifts they've chosen and wrapped themselves. 

Gigi thrusts hers at him first and beams at him as he unwraps a blue tie with yellow stripes, reiterating, “I picked it.”

“It’s perfect. You did a great job.” He reassures her.  “I love blue, it matches your eyes.”

 Once Josh sets Gigi’s gift down, Emily hesitantly hands him the one from her. Her behavior is more reserved than it was when she was wrapping the present and I’m wondering if she’s having second thoughts.

But when Josh opens the box and discovers a hand painted ceramic cat, his face lights up and Emily mirrors his response.

“I love this!” Josh announces.  “Did you paint it yourself?”

“I did! I was really careful. I wanted it to look really good.”

“It’s great.  You did a wonderful job.  I can’t wait to take it to work and put it on my desk. Thank you.”

Josh gives each of the girls a hug, then he fawns over the presents a little more and the girls both sit a little taller, proud that they’ve pleased him. 

Bedtime comes quickly and I change the girls into pajamas with no fuss, allowing them to head back downstairs for a few extra minutes with Josh before lights out. 

Emily and Gigi easily rope Josh and Sarah into a game of go fish and I don’t fight it. They’ve been on their best behavior all night and a card game is sort of a calm down activity. Gigi crawls into Josh’s lap when she starts to fade, dozing softly against him. Emily’s eyes are starting to get heavy as we play the last round. 

When Josh gets up to carry Gigi upstairs, I get up to join him. 

“I’ve got them,” he assures, extending his hand to Emily. “Why don’t you two each pour another glass of wine and relax. I’ll be right back.”

I kiss Emily goodnight and gather the go fish cards to put away.

“We always played cards at night,” Sarah states fondly as I straighten up the room. “Josh’s father and I. We’d go over to play bridge with friends, or maybe a hand at home just the two of us. Or if Joshua was home for a visit.”

“I have a few decks,” I find myself saying. “I love to play when my parents visit. Do you play Canasta?”

“I do!” Her face lights up the same way Josh’s does when he’s happy. 

I reach into the server behind the kitchen table and pull out a couple of decks. 

“You deal. I’ll get the wine,” I tell her with a grin. 

“Oh, Donna.” She tells me as she stands. “I think we’re going to be the best of friends.”

By the time Josh comes back downstairs, Sarah and I are indeed laughing like old friends.  She’s simply delightful, telling me stories about Josh’s childhood even as she totally destroys me at cards.  I can see where Josh gets his wit from, not to mention his dimples.

Josh smiles as he walks to the fridge to get himself another beer, then he sits down and watches us play, shaking his head when his Mom offers to deal him in.  He groans good naturedly as his Mom begins to tell me about his little league exploits, but he looks completely content.

By 10pm, Sarah’s looking a little tired, so I make eye contact with Josh then shift my eyes toward his Mom.  His lips quirk up just a little, then he stands up.

“Well, Mom, I think we should get going, I’ve got to work in the morning.”

She looks disappointed but she nods, then stands up and puts her purse over the crook of her arm.

“Thank you for a lovely evening dear.  You and your daughters are delightful.  I hope we can do this again.”

“Thank you, Sarah. It was so nice meeting you.” She gives me a quick hug leaning close to my ear.

“Next time I’ll get a hotel.” She whispers, “so that Joshua doesn’t have to pretend that he’s not staying here.”

I bite back a laugh.  Josh shouldn’t have tried to pull one over on her.  But I’m very happy to be accepted .

Chapter Text

Once again, I just barely make it home in time to tuck the girls into bed and read them.  It’s a real dichotomy.  I love my job, while I’m there.  It’s exciting.  It’s fulfilling. But it’s also exhausting. And once I stop moving I miss Donna and the girls.  My family.

Flopping down on the couch, I hold my arms out, ready to just snuggle with Donna and watch a little of the evening talk shows.  She likes having adult conversation and I love hearing her perspective.  So many times I’ve gone in to work the next day energized because of what Donna’s had to say.  Bouncing ideas off her helps me see the big picture and find reasonable solutions.  Even Leo has noticed the change.

But Donna smirks at me and walks the long way around the couch, just out of my reach as I try to snag her so I can pull her on top of me.

“Donnnnnaaa!” I whine just a little.  She may like adult conversation, but she seems to also like just a touch of me whining about how much I need her.

“Nuh-uh, Mister.  You need some dinner.”

“Too tired.” I complain.  “I’ll just nibble on your neck while we lay here.”

“As lovely as that sounds, my neck is not nearly nutritious enough.” Donna snarks, “besides I made pot roast tonight.  You’re going to love it.”

I’m sure I will. Donna’s a very good cook.  I really should send flowers to her mother and her grandmothers.  Especially her Nonna. I love Italian cuisine. Although the pot roast could be from the Irish side I guess.  Either possibility has me pushing myself up off the couch.

“You can eat in here. I’ll bring you a plate.” Donna offers as she heads into the kitchen.

“Thanks!” I call after her, plopping back down.  When I make it home for dinner we all eat at the table.  Donna is very insistent that family meals happen at the table.  It felt a little strange to me after all these years at first, but now I really like it.  I’m sorry that I missed it tonight. 

“You are a goddess.” I moan after trying the first bite.  “This is absolutely incredible.  How do you do this?  Full time job, help the kids with homework, keep this place humming like a well-oiled machine, and cook a meal like this?  Do you have super powers?”

Donna laughs lightly.  “Nope, just a crockpot and a bottle of Syrah.  In the morning before the girls wake up, I stuff garlic cloves in the roast, then I rub it down with an herb mixture, and then brown it.  After I deglaze the pan with the wine, it all goes in the crockpot with the potatoes and carrots and then viola! Dinner’s ready when we get home.”

“So you do have super powers.” I insist.  “Because that sounds like sorcery and this pot roast is like magic.”

“Well you do seem to be making it disappear rather quickly.” Donna laughs at her own joke.

“Very punny.” I tease back, quickly finishing my meal so I can lean back and get her in my arms.  Once she’s settled in, I break the bad news.

“I have to go to North Carolina for two days. After all of the Debate Commission delays, we’ve landed on just one Presidential debate so we are going to the Saybrook Institute for two days of heavy prep work.”

Donna sighs, “when are you going?”

“We’re starting Friday at 1pm. I’ll be back Sunday by 5pm. Hopefully earlier if I get to ride back in Marine One.  I get to ride out on it but sometimes I irritate the President and get stuck in a motorcade on the way home.”

“Well, then be on your best behavior so we can have you for longer.”

“I’ll try.” I promise.

. . . . .

Within the first 15 minutes of Debate Camp, the President is already irritable.  That’s not a great sign.  And doesn’t bode well for my chances at Marine One for the trip home.  Even though he’s mostly put out with Sam for doing a Bartlet impression while playing Richie, he calls me out for suggesting that it’s okay for Andy to make a comment.  Even though it is that’s what we brought her here for.  Maybe we brought a few too many people with us.  Leo and I agreed that we needed as many voices as possible.  We have a lot to accomplish in a relatively short amount of time.  And everything is riding on this debate.

When the President and Leo get called away, I quickly call Donna’s cell to see if she’s available for a quick chat.  A few feet away, Sam holds up a basketball. 

 “There’s a hoop out back.  I’ll get Toby.”

I nod my agreement, when Donna’s voice mail answers, then I leave a quick message.

“Hey, just wanted to let you know that we got here fine.  Although, I guess you would have heard about it on the news if we didn’t.  Anyway, I love you.  47 hours, 39 minutes to go. I’ll try to call around bedtime to say goodnight to the girls.”

Jogging outside, I stop short when I hear Sam say “I think you’re getting back together.”  He rode up in the motorcade with Andy and Toby, so that’s an interesting observation.

“We’re not.” Toby swiftly answers.

“But you want to.” Sam counters.

“Yes.” Toby responds drolly, making my eyebrows shoot up.  Sam almost misses it, but then he slams on the brakes.  Toby looks pleased with himself.

This possibility thrills me.  I want everyone to be in a happy relationship. “Okay, fill us in on everything you've got so far between the two of you.” I tell him as we start walking towards the hoop.

“Yeah, that’s what’s going to happen right now.” Toby quips sarcastically. 

I’m too happy to push him.  Besides, I can always check in with Andy.

. . . . 

The next practice section goes much better.  The President seems to be in a better mood and he’s on fire, prompting cheers from the staff as he lights into Sam over the suggestion that our solution is to essentially have the government raise children.

But then he goes a bit off the rails and everyone tries to reign him back in.  Even Larry says “that’s just not . . .  good, sir.”

C.J. pulls me aside while everyone else bickers with the President.  “Larry's right, we have to put him on the right side of this. He is on the right side of this, but we need help with the answer.”

“Yeah?” I answer feeling a bit excited over what I think she’s asking me to do.

“Yeah, so, can you give Donna a call?  We could really use her real life perspective here.”

“Yes! Of course!”  As she walks away to give a press briefing, I flip my phone open to call my lady.  Unfortunately, I get her voice mail again.  I’m not surprised, she’s probably getting dinner ready for the girls.  If I call again within the next couple minutes she’ll answer if she can, but I don’t really want to disturb her.  Instead I just leave another message.

“Hey! It’s me.  You’re probably making dinner.  I wish I could be there with you.  I’ll call again around 8.  We could really use your help.  We are trying to answer the question-- How do we stand strong for the modern family in all its quirks and not seem like we're dissing everyone born before 1962?  If you’ve got any ideas, I’d really like to hear them.  Love you!”

. . . . .

As dinner is being served, Sam, Larry, and a bunch of other staffers entertain us with an old camp song.  It’s almost 8 so I slip away to call Donna back.  I’m thrilled when she answers on the first ring.

“Hey. Perfect timing.  We just finished storytime and the girls were hoping they’d get to say goodnight.”

“Wonderful, put them on.”

There’s a slight pause then I hear my favorite two little voices in chorus.  “Good night, Josh! We miss you!”

“Awww, I miss you guys too.  One more night then I’ll be home on Sunday.”

“Will you bring me somethin’?” Gigi asks hopefully.

“Gigi!” Donna rebukes her, but very lightly.

“Yes, of course.  I’ll bring you something. Now be good girls and go to sleep for Mommy, okay?”

“Okay, Josh.  We will.” Emily assures me.

“Hang on a minute, Josh.” Donna tells me.  Then I hear her kissing each of the girls good night and turning off lights.  A few minutes later, I hear a door.  Then Donna comes back on.

“Okay.”

:

“How you doing?” I quip, happy to finally get to talk to her.

“I'm freezing.”

“What? Why? “Where are you?”

“I'm out on the stoop.”

“Well, go inside.”

“I can't, the girls might interrupt and then I'll lose you.”

“You'll never lose me, Baby.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

“So did you listen to your messages?  Have you thought about my question?”

“Yeah.  I mean, I don't know what you want me to say. I want women to have help from the government. I want women to earn what men earn. I want everyone to earn enough so that everyone can make the right choice for their family, and after that, it's none of your business who stays home and who goes to work. You don't know more about raising a family than I do.”

“That was it. Perfect.  I gotta go give this to C.J. so she can run a test on it. Do you want me to call back later?”

“How late?”

“I don’t know.  We probably won’t be done until 1 a.m. But I’ll call around 11 just to say goodnight if I can.”

“Okay, love you.”

“Love you too.”

When I give the language to C.J. she’s as thrilled as I am with Donna’s answer. I’m grinning with pride. I can’t wait to tell Donna about this.  While I’m basking in the feeling, Toby and Charlie walk into the room.  Charlie’s needling him over Andy and Toby’s a little prickly.

But I’m feeling good so I tag in.  “Why don’t you just do your job as a man and get that nice girl pregnant?”  I quip.  Now that I’ve discovered the joys of children, I think all my friends should consider the possibility of having a couple.

“I already did.”  Toby gruffly answers under his breath.

“Wait, what?”  

“What?” C.J. echos.

“Andy's pregnant.” Toby repeats.

And I echo him again.  “Toby, Andy's pregnant?”  I’m stunned, thrilled for him but absolutely stunned.  

“With twins.” Toby adds, showing one, then two fingers with a sly little smirk on his face.

“This is incredible.”  Sam breathes out, finally stopping whatever he’s doing long enough to give us his full attention.

“And they're yours?” Not that it really matters, I’ve discovered that you can give your whole heart to kids that don’t share any DNA with you.

“Yeah.” Toby answers his smirk growing even bigger.

At that I can’t help but throw out a little dig--”Both of them?”

Toby almost laughs as he walks out of the room, while C.J. smacks me for being stupid.  Charlie has the biggest grin on his face as he informs us that we are going to have to step things up on Team Toby.

And me, I’m just over the moon for him.  Toby’s whole world is about to change.  I can see why he wants to marry Andy. He wants to make his family official, so there’s no doubt they’re his kids. I know exactly how he feels. 

Chapter Text

“You’re really going on Air Force One?” Mom asks again as she watches me put the finishing touches on my make-up.  I have to really use all my patience to avoid rolling my eyes.

“Yes, Mom. Josh is sending a car to pick me up and take me to Andrews and it’ll be here any minute so I really need to finish getting ready.”

“I can’t believe this.”

“If you can’t believe it why did you agree to fly here and watch the girls?”

“Do I really need a reason? It’s been almost 3 months since we’ve seen them.”

“You know you’re welcome any time.”  She gives me a little look in the mirror and we both smirk at each other.  She knows that I’m far too independent for her to visit all the time and I know that while she and Dad love the girls they aren’t the type to hover.  Still I appreciate that they’re willing.  And I can’t wait for them to meet Josh.

“So tell me again, how does a Librarian meet the Deputy Chief of Staff and end up as a special guest of the President at the debate?” 

It’s almost like she’s interrogating me to see if my story changes, but she’s got a twinkle in her eye so I’m not that worried about it.

“I told you.  The President’s Executive Secretary lives next door.  She set me up with Josh on a blind date.  When they were doing debate prep, Josh called me for help on some of their answers.  Apparently the President really appreciated my help and told Josh to invite me along.  But Josh says that the President is just being nosy, he wants to see Josh and I together to judge how serious this is for himself.”

“And just how serious is this?”  Mom asks with a raised eyebrow.

“I guess you’ll have to ask the President.”  I tease her.

“HaHa, Donna.  But really.  Emily and Gigi talk about him all the time.  Is he living here?”

“Not exactly.” I hedge.  Just then I hear the toot of a car horn, then Dad and Gigi come up the stairs.

“Car’s here!” Dad announces.

“Is Josh out there?”  Gigi pouts.

“No sweetie, you know he’d come in if he was here.  He had to go to work this morning.  And we’re taking a little trip.  We’ll be home after you go to bed.  I see you in the morning.”

“Josh too!”  Gigi demands, causing me parents to exchange a look with each other.

“You’ll see Josh sometime tomorrow.”  I reassure her.  “He’s coming over for dinner to meet Grandpa and Grandma.  Now give me a kiss, I’ve got to go.”

. . . . . 

After my credentials are checked at the guard shack, I feel pretty special being driven through the gates in a town car and delivered directly to Air Force One on the runway.

“Just stay where you are.” The driver tells me as we pull to a stop.  “The secret service will come get you.  They’ll run you through the security procedures, then put you on the plane.”

“Okay.” I agree a bit nervously.  Josh already explained this to me, but it still feels surreal.  It really is only a few minutes until the car door opens and I’m asked to step out.  My id is checked again, as is my purse.  Then I’m wanded before I’m escorted onto the plane.  All in all it’s actually an easier process than the airport normally is.

I’m shown to a cabin lined with leather chairs, interspersed with small tables and lamps. Other than the windows, it doesn’t look much like an airplane.  A few minutes after I sit down Josh calls.

“Hello.”

“Hey, we’re about 5 minutes out.  Did you get on the plane okay?”

“Yes.  I’m here now.”

“A steward will be around at some point.  Ask him for some M&Ms for the girls.”

“How much are they?”

“Just tell him you’re with me.”  Josh laughs.

By the time Josh arrives, I’m sipping on a ginger ale and I’ve got 2 Presidential Boxes of M&Ms in my purse.  He’s right, the girls will love them.

“Hey Babe.” Josh greets me, leaning down and pecking me on the lips. 

“HI!” This is incredible, but I’m really glad to see him.  Unfortunately, he doesn’t sit down.

“I’ll be back before we take off.” Josh promises.  “You remember Charlie?” He asks pointing to the young man who has followed him into the room and flopped into the seat across from me.

“Yes.” I assure him as he practically jogs out the door.  “Hi Charlie.”

“Hey.”  Charlie responds a little dejectedly. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Not really.  Did you watch the debates last time?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, the last one, moments before the debate started, the President went out to the alley to sneak a cigarette, only he lit his necktie on fire. So Josh gave him his, and he won and now it's his game tie. And it got ruined at the cleaners by a cleaning solvent we probably shouldn't use anymore.”

As a Mom, I recognize Charlie’s tone as someone who just needs a little prompting to work out a solution.

“Okay. Did you tell him?”

“No!” Charlie answers. “But that's a different conversation. My point is doesn't this look an awful lot like the real one?”  He holds up a tie.

“I don't remember what the real one looked like, but where did you get that one?”

“The neck of the Deputy Labor Secretary but what the hell am I thinking? You can't pull off this kind of fake out. Now it becomes the bad luck tie. Bad things will happen in that tie. No, you've got to face the music and dance alone.”

There we go, I’m glad he realizes that he’s got to come clean.  Now, I just need to help relieve his guilt. “You know what? I think maybe you and the President are obsessing on the tie. I'm going to throw this notion out on the stoop and see if the cat licks it up. I think the President's performance in the debate had actually very little to do with the tie.”

“Okay. You heard me say it was his game tie right?”

Well, I guess he’s not quite there yet.  But before I can say anything else, Josh slides back into the room followed quickly by CJ and Toby and a red-haired woman.  They all grab seats and buckle in just as the plane starts taxing.  They have the timing down perfectly.

“Hi Donna!” CJ greets me enthusiastically.

“Donna, this is my wife, Andy.” Toby tells me gesturing to the woman, who is seated next to him.

“Ex-wife.” She corrects him.

“Not for long.” He mutters, as she says hello to me.  But she hears him and rolls her eyes before glaring at him.

Josh wasn’t kidding when he said they have an odd relationship.  I hope they figure it out for the sake of their children.  Divorce isn’t easy on kids, even when they never really know anything else.

“What about this one?” Josh shouts out to the room.  “We will make America’s schools the best in the world.”

This thing has been driving him crazy for the last two weeks.  I’m not really sure what he’s looking for, I don’t think he really knows either, but he says he’ll know it when he gets it.  I’m not sure why exactly this is his job, when Sam and Toby are the writers, but he’s just determined to give Leo and the President what they want.

“Where’s Sam?” I wonder, perhaps if he were here they could all figure this out together.  They seem to work well as a team.

“He flew commercial because he felt the need to be noble.”  Josh answers cryptically, while Toby gives a little guffaw, which earns him a jab from Andy.

As soon as the plane reaches cruising altitude, Charlie’s up out of his seat, followed by CJ who mentions checking on her surrogates.  A few minutes later Andy stands up and leaves without a word.  Toby shrugs and then gets up to join her.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be, Josh?” 

“Not right now.  We’ll do another 2 minute drill in about two hours.  I’d really just like to find this 10 word answer before I check in with Leo again.”

. . . . . 

True to his word, Josh calls Leo three times to rattle off 10 word answer possibilities over the next hour and a half.  He’s not terribly excited about any of them, and even though he promises to keep working on it, I notice he also seems to be trying to convince Leo that it’s not imperative. I really admire how hard he is working on something that doesn’t really seem to be his idea.  I for one can testify that he’s not blowing off the assignment just because he doesn’t fully agree with it.

Almost two hours into the flight he stands up.  “I’ve got to go do this drill with the President. The steward will probably come by while I’m gone to take your dinner order.  You should get something, we might not have time once we get to San Diego.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“Should I order for you?”

“Sure.  Whatever is fine.”

With that he’s out the door.  

The final hour of the flight goes by fairly quickly.  Andy and I spend some time getting to know each other, and I come to a little better understanding of why she’s reluctant to re-marry Toby.  After a rocky marriage where they spent more than a year trying to get pregnant through IVF, they had a one night stand that led to this very surprising pregnancy. And now Toby is pushing for marriage without them ever really talking about why they broke up in the first place.  She doesn’t want to jump back in, make the same mistakes, and then have the marriage break up again in a few years.  She’s got a valid point, that would definitely be worse for the kids in the long run.

We talk a little bit about my situation.  How my ex isn’t a bad guy, but that he doesn’t spend much time with the kids.  I can tell she’s worried that whether or not they remarry, Toby will be a mostly absentee father.  I try to reassure her that her kids will be okay even if that’s the case.  It is hard to do it all on your own, but we do what we have to.  

I don’t tell her how wonderful it really is to have a partner.  Josh has already stepped up in ways the girls’ father never did, and I see them blossoming with him around.  Now that I know what this is like, I can’t imagine going back to doing it all on my own.  I know my Mom is a little worried that I’ve let Josh become part of our lives too fast, but I’m sure that once she meets him she’ll understand.  When you find something like this, you just know it’s right, and you have to trust fate.

. . . . . . 

Getting home after midnight has me dragging the next day.  I really don’t know how Josh does this on a regular basis.  Luckily, my parents take care of the girls in the morning and let me sleep in. Then while Emily’s at school and Gigi is napping, I’m able to tell them about how incredible the whole experience was and how amazing Josh is.

At 6:30 on the dot the doorbell rings.  The fact that he’s exactly on time and that he doesn’t use his key says a lot about how nervous Josh is about meeting my parents.  But he’s all smiles, holding a bottle of wine and flowers, and he firmly shakes my father’s hand when he opens the door. 

“Josh! Josh!” The girls shout as they run to him.  “We missed you!!”

Emily plasters herself to one side of him, while Gigi practically climbs up the other, but Josh seems to be in heaven, handing off the wine & flowers then swinging Gigi up into his arms in a seamless motion.

The girls reaction to Josh’s arrival melts all the tension and dinner is an energetic family affair, with my parents taking turns sharing embarrassing stories about me, like the time I nearly got arrested after I got my arm stuck in a mailbox trying to retrieve a letter to Ilie Nastase and the time I tried to take 11 scented Minsk candles through airport security. But Josh doesn’t seem deterred.  He just grins at me through all of them, and even shares a few stories of his own to show that he’s just as big of a dork as I am.

Later, while we’re getting the girls ready for bed, Mom tells me that she can see why I’ve fallen in love with Josh and that it’s obvious he’s smitten too.  Then while Josh is reading the girls bedtime stories, my Dad tells me that he thinks Josh is a stand up guy, but he refuses to tell me what he and Josh talked about while they were on their own.

Chapter Text

It’s a great day. The American people have spoken and they’ve re-elected President Bartlet for another four years. I’d drink from the keg of glory, but Gigi is asleep in my arms. 

Donna said we should get a sitter, but I was vehemently opposed. I wanted them here tonight to celebrate and witness this. It’s history. And I’m going to make it all a little more memorable later tonight. My mother gave me the family ring after her visit last month, and I’ve been waiting for tonight. I’m going to ask Donna to marry me. I’m so excited that I can hardly stand it. I thought I’d be nervous, but I’m far from it. We’ve won the election. I’m surrounded by my family and friends. I’m sure that Donna is the one. Nothing can go wrong tonight. 

Donna’s chatting with CJ as Emily quietly colors in my visitors chair. I’m ready to get out of here, but there are a few things brewing. Fortunately, Donna seems to be enjoying herself, and Emily doesn’t mind hanging around. Gigi could sleep though a bomb so I’m not too worried there. As long as I don’t put her down, she probably won’t wake up any time soon.

Emily wanders over to show me what she’s been working on in her coloring book: a map of the United States. She carefully tears out the perforated page and gives it to me with a smile. I give her a kiss on top of the head and tell her I love it, immediately hanging it up on the wall in my office. This morning we had pancakes and talked about elections before Donna took them along to vote. They took naps after school and then made their way to the White House to watch returns with me. Emily’s been asking me a multitude of questions about what’s going on and I love the idea that she’s interested in the process.

Sam pops in, acting as though he wants to say something but can’t quite bring himself to spit it out. He’s been a ball of nerves all night. It’s not like him, and I can’t quite figure out what's going on. He’ll tell me if he’s ready, but I’m not going to look for work tonight. I have a woman to woo. 

I lean back with Gigi on my shoulder and kick my legs up on my desk as Toby wanders in with a glass of scotch. He’s having a good time, and apparently my office is the place to be. As long as they stay fairly quiet and keep things G rated, that’s fine with me. 

Mrs. Landingham comes by once the President has retreated to the residence and Emily greets her with a warm hug. She doesn’t stay long, but it was nice of her to stop in to see Donna and the girls. It’s been a long day, she reminds us, and she’s quite tired.  I ask her if she’s okay getting home, and she assures me that she is. I’d fully intended to be on my way home by this time as well, but Leo wants me to stand by for something he’s keeping on his radar. I’ll give it another 30 minutes before I send Donna home with the car. Maybe I’ll luck out, though, and my plan to get down on one knee won’t be foiled by whatever is happening in Venezuela. 

My desk phone rights and I grab it, answering with a gruff, “Yeah?”

I listen to Margaret rattle off instructions and hang up, the attention of the senior staff already on me. 

“Leo needs you to start putting something together,” I look to Toby and Sam.

“Press?” CJ asks. 

“Maybe a handful. Nothing yet.”

CJ nods, slipping back into her office as Toby and Sam quickly depart to Communications. 

“What do we need to do?” Donna asks, watching everyone spring into action. 

“Nothing right now,” I sigh. “But I think it’s going to be a late night.”

“It’s okay,” she tries to stay optimistic, giving me a little smirk. “I know you’re a very powerful man.” 

She has no idea what I had planned, but I try not to let my disappointment show. I don't want her to misconstrue it. 

“I have to meet with Nancy McNally’s new aide for a quick security briefing and then I’ll know more. If it turns out to be nothing, we can go and I’ll just keep my pager on tonight.”

“Do we need to step out?” She asks, looking at the girls.

“Not yet,” I tell her. I’m not sure when he’ll be here. I just have to stay by the phone. “If you do, you can just hang out in CJ’s office for a few minutes. Gigi is fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Donna looks at me.

I nod that I am, cracking a joke. “I don’t think the NSA will deem her a threat to security.”

“Well that’s just because they don’t know her,” Donna quips. 

“Mommy?” Emily asks, capturing our attention. “I’m thirsty.” 

“Okay,” Donna extends her hand. “I think there’s probably still some catering down the hall.”

Donna walks Emily to find a drink and a snack and I shift a bit in my chair, putting my feet down in preparation for Nancy’s new deputy. Gigi stirs a bit but I soothe her right back to sleep. She buries her face completely in my neck, her fine blonde hair falling softly over her face. 

“Josh Lyman?” I hear a knock on my door.

“Come in,” I gesture for the commander to enter my office, sliding Emily’s coloring from where it sits in front of the guest chair to the side with one hand while the other arm remains firmly wrapped around Gigi. 

“Is this a bad time?” He glances at the child on my shoulder.

“No, just not a typical evening. Go ahead. She’s not going to call The Post with your intel,” I joke, gesturing to Gigi who is still completely out.

The commander stares blankly at me and I raise my eyebrows. “Do you have kids?” I ask.

“Yes.” He doesn’t offer additional information.

“Ahkay.” I slowly sing back into my chair. 

He looks taken back at the fact that I expect him to continue while Gigi is asleep on my shoulder, but he starts to brief me on the developing situation in South America, not bothering to sit down.  I’m about to ask him a question when the door to my office opens and Donna and Emily begin to step in. 

Trying to be friendly to a new face in the West Wing, I offer a formal introduction.

“Donna, I’d like you meet-”

The commander turns around to greet her and I watch as the color drains from Donna’s face.

“Jack.” She fills in, the shock evident on her face.

It takes me a beat to figure out how they know each other, but Emily fills in the last piece of the puzzle.

“Daddy?” She states quietly, slowly stepping into the room. “What are you doing in Josh’s office?”

Chapter Text

“Daddy is helping Josh with something important.” I turn on a fake smile for Emily, trying to act like everything is just fine though it feels like my happy bubble just burst. 

“Hello, Emily.” Jack bends down. “Come here and give me a hug.”

Emily immediately takes a step toward him, then hesitates for a moment, looking up at me to take her cue, but eventually complies. I hate how much she wants to please him. Jack picks her up and gives her a quick squeeze before he turns his attention back to me.

“What are you doing here?” I ask Jack again through a clenched jaw, trying to keep it light. I don’t like to fight in front of the girls but I do need a few answers. 

“I’ve been stationed here. I’m working for Nancy McNally.” He says matter of factly as Emily squirms and he sets her back down in between us.

I study him intently as Emily looks back at me for guidance. I really try to make it so they aren’t torn between us, so I take a deep breath, trying to tamp down the anger that’s quickly building. I really don’t like to do this type of thing in front of the girls but I’m absolutely stunned to find out that he’s in town.  Especially to find out like this.

“You’re stationed here.” I repeat, just to make sure I’ve understood him correctly. “And how long did you plan to be in town before you called your daughters?”

“I literally just arrived. Don’t make this into something it’s not.”

“Alright.” I spit out, crossing my arms, and biting my tongue. Saying anything else is pointless, he has an answer for everything, and I’ll end up looking like a shrew.

He turns to Josh, and I can see that Jack is putting this all together. It isn’t like he didn’t know I was seeing someone, I’m sure the girls told him, but we aren't exactly going out of our way to fill each other in on the details of our lives anymore. I can practically see the light bulb go off over Jack’s head when he finally realizes that it’s Gigi in Josh’s arms.

“I’ll take my daughter.” He reaches out to Gigi, trying to gently take her without waking her up, I can see the look on Josh’s face as he hands her over, and it’s indicative of a lot more than handing over a sleepy toddler for a few minutes. He and I will have to talk about this later, I want to make sure he knows that Jack’s arrival isn’t going to change the love that the girls or I have for him.

“Hi, Anna.” Jack speaks softly, pronouncing her name with the soft vowels in a way I’d love if it wasn’t proof that he has no idea what his child prefers.  

As Josh let’s Jack take her, Gigi fusses a bit but it’s a few beats before her eyes actually flutter open and she looks at Jack, immediately letting out a startled wail. I can’t blame her, she’s woken up from a safe, comfortable sleep to a man who is effectively a stranger to her. 

Josh looks like he is about to shatter in half at the sound of her cry, he rubs her back and l can tell he really wants to take her back from Jack.  The last thing I want is an actual tug of war over my child, and I know that now that Jack’s made his point he probably doesn’t really want to hold Gigi anyway, so I lift my arms to take her from him.

Sure enough, Jack hands her off without any reluctance. Josh’s hands twitch, revealing that he is dying to take her back, but he knows how to read a situation, so he shoves his hands into his pockets instead.  I’m grateful he’s treading carefully here. 

While I soothe Gigi, Jack’s expression returns to his stone faced default position.

“Well,” he quips, glaring at Josh as though this is somehow his fault. “I guess she isn’t big on an affectionate welcome home. Gets that from her mother, I suppose.” 

Jack’s tone is softly conversational even though his words are biting.

Josh is obviously teetering on the brink of losing his cool but I’m not bothered.  Anything that Jack has to say is nothing I haven’t heard before.

But Emily stands frozen, her eyes wide.  She really hasn’t seen the way her father speaks to me.  He’s not that bad with them, but their entire relationship consists of ten minute phone calls and extravagant gifts from wherever he happens to be on leave if he thinks of them, and she’s clearly overwhelmed by this whole exchange.

Josh takes note of Emily’s demeanor at the same moment that I do and I think that’s what pulls him back from the edge.  He looks Jack right in the eye and then slowly directs his gaze towards Emily.

Jack’s eyes follow Josh’s and miraculously, he switches gears as well, taking charge like he does.

“Okay.  This was all rather unexpected.  Josh and I have a job to do here, Donna.  Perhaps you can take the girls home, it’s obviously quite past their bedtime.  I’ll give you a call in the morning and we’ll come to a visitation schedule.”

I find myself bristling, but also recognizing that this is the best course of action. Still, I’m not going to let Jack call all the shots.

“Okay, Emily.  Give Josh and your Dad goodnight kisses then get your coat on.”

Emily looks relieved by my instructions, she walks stiffly to her father who leans down momentarily to accept a kiss on the cheek. Then she turns to Josh, lifting her arms.  He scoops her up and holds her tightly. I can’t help but notice that some of the tension leaves Emily’s little body as Josh hugs her.

Jack clears his throat and Josh reluctantly lowers Emily back to her feet, then crouches down to her level to accept his kiss.

“Sweet dreams, sweetheart.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Josh.” Emily offers.  While she’s putting her coat on, Josh kisses the top of Gigi’s head gently, so that he doesn’t wake her up again.  Then he wraps an arm around me and gives me a light kiss.

“I’ll be home late, don’t wait up.  But call me if you need me.”

Jack's eyes narrow, clearly overhearing the exchange, then just before I leave with the girls he clears his throat again.

“Good night, Emily.” Jack says just a bit pointedly.

“Good night, Daddy.” Emily dutifully responds.

As I close the door behind me, I hear Jack’s voice.

“We don’t have time to discuss MY wife and children right now, but believe me, that conversation is coming.  I need to finish briefing you regarding the incident in Venezuela.  The fleet is on high alert and this is code word clearance. Am I correct in assuming you can focus on the task at hand or should I report otherwise to my superiors?”

Chapter Text

As soon as Jack leaves my office, I pick up the phone and dial Leo’s cell.

“Yeah?”

“I’m ready to brief you.”

“My office.  Ten minutes.”

“Ahkay.”

Ten minutes isn’t enough time to figure out a plan for how to handle this whole Jack situation, but it is enough time to figure out what to tell Leo about it.  While Commander Horrible and I did indeed focus on our jobs, I heard his threat loud and clear.  He doesn’t want me anywhere near his personal life.  Too bad.

If he were a better man, or I was less in love with Donna, I might consider the possibility of stepping aside like a gentleman and letting him reclaim his family.  But based on what I know about him, and what I just observed, it can tell he’s not a better man, and I have absolutely no intention of giving up MY family.

Best case scenario, he’s a fool.  He had everything.  An incredible career, an amazing wife, two beautiful little girls.  But he chose the career over the family and now the girls barely know him, and clearly Donna doesn’t like him.  

Worst case scenario, he’s controlling and manipulative.  Donna hasn’t bad mouthed him, but I’ve picked up some clues.  There’s no doubt that he doesn’t put their well-being above his own.

I’m not going to make that mistake.  I’ll brief Leo about the incident in Venezuela, which will probably be over by the time I talk to him.  Then I’ll brief him about my personal life, and I’ll let him know that if  I have to choose between Donna and my career, I’ll hand in my resignation.  I’ve had plenty offers through the years.  I like this job, but I love Donna and my girls.

They are my number one priority.

. . . . . .

It’s almost 1 a.m. when I let myself into the townhouse, sure enough, while we were talking about Venezuela, Leo received a call letting him know the immediate urgency was over.  One less thing to worry about.

And Leo and I came to an agreement about my personal life as well. Keep it professional at work, but protect my family above all else.  It’s nice to know he’s in my corner.

Now I just need to find out whether anything has changed on Donna’s side due to today’s unwelcome event.  I should probably wait to make my proposal. Give her a chance to adjust to the impending changes in her life.  We should probably have a long discussion about what my role is going to be going forward.

But not tonight.  Tonight I just want to hold her in my arms.

Quietly I shed my suit, leaving it on the hanger she left in the bathroom for me.  Then I brush my teeth, dropping my shirt into the hamper on my way towards our bed.  I slip in behind her wrapping my arm around her waist as I press myself into her back.

“I’m glad you’re home.” she murmurs, sleepily.

“Me too.  I love you.” I whisper in her ear.

“Love you too.” She responds without opening her eyes. I’m glad she doesn’t seem to want to talk tonight.

I close my eyes and within minutes, I’m fast asleep.

. . . . . 

When I wake up in the morning, Donna is laying on her side, her eyes are open and she’s chewing on her bottom lip.

“How long have you been watching me sleep?” I croak out.  She shrugs her shoulders a little.  She’s quieter than usual. 

 “You could have woken me up.”  I offer, sitting up a little.  “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. I’m just really glad you’re here.”

“Where else would I be?”

“After last night, I guess I wouldn’t blame you for running for the hills.”  She answers a little flippantly, but I can see a bit of concern in her eyes.  “I’m sorry about Jack.”

“Hey.” I cup her face gently with my hand.  “You don’t ever have to apologize for him.  You are not responsible for his behavior.  And I’m not going anywhere.  I love you.  I love Emily, and I love Gigi.  And I’m going to be around as long as you’ll have me.  And I hope that’s forever.”

“It is, Josh.  I want you forever.  I love you.  The girls love you.  You’ve already been a better father to them in seven months than Jack has their whole lives.  What I have with you is what I always wanted.  I love my job, but family has always been more important to me.  When I met Jack he was a young officer and I had just graduated college.  He was handsome and witty and he said he loved me, but really I think he just wanted the image of a perfect family.  We were good for his career.  He liked to pull us out and show us off but he didn’t want to be bothered with the day to day nitty gritty stuff.  I followed him across the country and back and I would have kept doing it if he had really loved us instead of just the idea of us.”

“Hold on!”  I jump out of bed and rush to the bathroom, grabbing my pants from the hanger and fumbling to get the ring box out of the pocket.

When I hurry back into the room in just my boxers, Donna is sitting up looking adorably confused at why I ran out on her after she shared her heart.

“Sorry for that. This isn’t how I meant to do this. I had a plan.  I got your Dad’s blessing, and I had my Mom bring Bubbe’s ring, and I was going to take you to the Rose Garden.  But I don’t want to wait for the perfect moment.  I want to spend the rest of our lives together.  Even when it’s messy.”

I drop to one knee on the carpet and hold the box towards her.  “Donna, will you marry me?”

Donna scrambles off the bed.  “Yes! Yes.” She babbles, tears spilling down her cheeks even though she’s giving me that thousand watt smile.

I flip open the box and pull the ring out and slide in on her finger as we sit in the middle of the floor.  She admires it on her hand for a split second before she pulls my face towards hers and kisses me like there’s no tomorrow.

But the kiss only lasts approximately 5 seconds before there’s a knock on our door.  “Mommy?”  Emily calls out.

“Just a second, honey.” Donna answers as I pull on pajama pants.  “Okay you can come in.”

“Why are you on the floor?”  Emily asks.

“Um . . . we’re . .  we’re just . . .” Donna struggles to answer, looking to me for help.  

“Looking for something I dropped.” I fill in.

“Okay.” Emily accepts. “Do you want me to help look?”

“No, we found it.” Donna beams at her.  “Go downstairs, I’ll be down in a minute to make breakfast.”

As Emily leaves I realize that Donna and I need to decide what we’re going to tell the girls, and when.  Obviously she didn’t want to do it right now.  Donna and I stand up, and I pull her in for another kiss, even though it’s still not as long as I’d like.

“So . . .” I ask as we break apart,  “when should we tell the girls?” 

“Over breakfast? We also need to talk to them about Jack.  Emily is probably a little anxious about what she’s supposed to do with him around.  And I guess I need to talk to him and find out exactly how long he’s planning on being in town.”

“Wow.  That’s a lot for a five year old.  Do you think this is going to be too much for her?”  I twist the ring on Donna’s finger.  I want to marry her so badly.  I’d love to run down to the courthouse and make it official today, but I don’t want it to seem like I'm just reacting to Jack showing up.  Plus I’d really like to see all my girls in beautiful dresses standing under a chuppah.

“It’s going to be a lot. But we’ll help her get through it.  And I think knowing that we’re going to be a family through all of it will help.”

“Okay.  That’s a good plan.”

Chapter Text

I throw my hair up in a messy bun, while Josh jumps into the shower.  Even though it was a late night for him, and he got to sleep in a little, he’s still got to go into the office, I’ve got to go to work, and the girls still have to go to school.  Even in D.C., it’s still just a Wednesday morning.

When I peek into her room, I’m glad to see that Gigi is still sound asleep.  She’ll probably be ready to wake up about the time Josh is out of the shower.  He’ll be able to grab her on his way down.

I’m halfway down when I hear a male voice floating up the stairs. The hairs on the back of my neck stand up as I sprint the rest of the way.

When I get to the bottom, Jack is standing in my living room. He turns to look at me with a slight smirk of superiority that he knows has the power to drive me out of my mind.

“How did you get in my house?!” I practically screech.

He gives me a little glare designed to make me feel stupid.  “Well, obviously, my daughter opened the door for me.”  He turns back to Emily and gives her a smile of approval and she stands a little taller.

“Emily--” I start to scold, but seeing her deflate, I cut myself off.  It’s her father, not a stranger, I can’t really yell at her for opening the door for him.  Instead I turn back to Jack.

“What are you doing here?”

“Why Donna, just last night you chided me for waiting even a few hours to see my daughters.  I’d have thought you’d be pleased that I made time for them first thing this morning.”

“This isn’t what I meant and you know it.” I hiss, trying not to get too upset in front of Emily who is glancing back and forth between us and wringing her hands together.

We stare at each other for half a minute until we hear Josh clomping down the stairs with Gigi. I pivot to look at him just in time to see the joy on his face change over to white hot hate and then morph again to something closer to icy indifference.

“What are you doing here?”  Josh and Jack both spit out at each other at the same time.

“He sleeps with Mommy!” Gigi bursts out, suddenly awake and apparently ready to be part of the conversation.

Josh turns red, while Jack skewers me with a glare.  “What the hell?” He growls.

“Not in front of the girls.” I spit back.

“That SHOULD have been the policy.” Jack responds in an icy tone. “Yet, there he stands in my house, holding my daughter, who is apparently fully aware of your love life.”

“This isn’t your house anymore! And my love life is none of your business.” I manage to keep from shouting but I make my words as biting as possible.  However, the way Gigi’s eyes go wide, and the way she clings to Josh, keeps me from saying anything more.

“Whoa.” Josh interjects. “I think we need to have an adult conversation.  But right now, the girls need breakfast.  And we all need to get to work.”

“Fine.” Jack bites out, before turning back to me.  “But we will be discussing this later.” He points between me and him, clearly trying to exclude Josh. “I’ll come back over tonight at 7:30. We’ll talk then.”

“Make it 8.” I insist.  Jack is going to discover that I’ve learned how to stand up for myself.  I’m not going to just let him set the terms for everything. Plus that way he can say good night to the girls before I put them to bed.

He sighs and stands a little straighter, “Fine.” Then he looks over to Emily.  “Emily, sweetie, would you like me to drive you to school and we’ll get breakfast on the way?”

Emily, who was practically in tears a minute ago, beams at me.  “Please, Mommy?”

Josh clenches his jaw, and I know exactly how he feels, saying no would make Jack the hero and us the bad guys.  Given this turn of events, our breakfast plan to tell the girls that we are getting married is ruined. And at least she’s getting a special moment with her Dad.

“Okay.” I sigh. “Go upstairs and get dressed. I’ll be right behind you to fix your hair.”

As Emily hurries up the stairs to do as she is told, it’s not lost on me that Josh hasn’t let go of Gigi, and Jack hasn’t asked for her.  While I didn’t appreciate that little power struggle last night, I also don’t appreciate the idea of Jack overlooking her.

“Gigi, why don’t you show Daddy your dollhouse?”  I suggest. 

Neither Jack or Josh look thrilled at my idea, but Josh deposits Gigi near the toy box in the corner and she picks up playing where she left off the night before last and Jack takes a few steps closer and asks what she’s doing.

Once Gigi is settled, Josh nods his head towards the kitchen and I join him, stepping out of Jack’s line of sight for a moment. 

“You okay?” He wraps his arms around me. 

“Yes. Just irritated.” I let out a deep breath. 

He laughs softly. “That’s understandable. But maybe this is for the best. I’d hate to spring the engagement on the girls right before school. I want them to be able to talk to us if they have questions.”

“That’s true.” I smile softly as I lay my head against his shoulder. He’s always watching out for all of us. 

“So, how about this,” he gently rubs my back, already trying to fix the situation. “I can take the afternoon off, we’ll pick the girls up from school and do something fun. Maybe take them ice skating at the rink on The Mall? It opens today. We can tell them that we’re getting married and get a family dinner before we have to deal with Jack.”

I smile and give him a squeeze. It’s a great plan. “Yeah, I guess, really in the long run this is better than just telling them over breakfast.”

“Okay.” He kisses me softly. “I'll find Gigi some food. I think your assistance is required in the hair salon upstairs.”

I smile, feeling like everything is going to be okay for the first time. Josh and I are happy, he loves the girls and they love him. I have a true partner, and he’s going to love and support me. Jack is just going to have to get used to the idea that he’s not the man in our lives anymore.

Chapter Text

I walk into the West Wing with a larger than normal cup of coffee. It’s been one hell of a 24 hours. The President was re-elected. Donna agreed to marry me. And I may be involved in a brewing custody dispute with the aide to the National Security Advisor. 

After Emily left for breakfast with Jack, we had toaster waffles with Gigi before taking her to preschool and heading to Starbucks. I don’t have a meeting until 9, but I’d like to clear my afternoon as much as possible. No matter what I’m out of here by 2:30 to pick up the girls, but there are a few things I’d like to handle beforehand. 

Since I expected to do this last night, I’ve already ordered Donna a bouquet of long stem red roses to be delivered to her office this morning.  Now I’m even more glad to send her a reminder of my commitment to her. I also have something for the girls that should make this afternoon all the more special.

I want to get a photographer to take some pictures of us this afternoon at the skating rink. It’s already flurrying so the mall should be beautiful covered in white. Donna is crazy about family photos.  I’ll have my assistant call for a recommendation from the head of the White House photo office and make those arrangements.

“Well?” Sam looks expectant as he falls into stride next to me. 

I briefly consider acting aloof about the information I know he’s looking for, but I can’t force myself to hide my excitement, even for a moment. 

“She said yes.” I report with a full dimpled grin. 

“Of course she did.” Sam beams back. 

“But nobody knows yet.” I tell him a bit more seriously. “We’re telling the girls this afternoon, so we haven’t even called our parents yet.”

“My lips are sealed.” Sam assures me. 

“Well?” Ginger calls out as soon as she catches sight of the two of us passing by towards Leo’s office. 

“She said yes!” Sam shouts back across the bullpen. 

So much for discretion. I raise eyebrows at their exchange.

“Okay, now they’re sealed.” Sam has the decency to look sheepish. 

Before I can explain any further, Sam is pulled away by Toby and Margaret hurries towards me. 

“He needs you a few minutes early,” she explains as we pick up our pace, walking faster towards Leo’s office. Never a dull moment. 

. . . . . . .

“So, kid, how’d it go?” Leo asks as soon as I sit down.  Oh. I thought there was an emergency.  This is why he wanted me a few minutes early? Still I can’t help but grin. 

“She said yes.”

“Congratulations, Man. She’s a smart woman.  And those little girls. . . .” He grins at me fondly and for just a minute I get a sense of how my Dad would be reacting to this news.

“I’m a lucky man.” 

“You’re a good man, Josh. And they’re lucky to have you, too.”  Leo responds and my heart swells. Leo doesn’t offer praise lightly. He lets me enjoy it for approximately half a second before he picks up a folder.

“Now, let’s get back to work, hmmm?”

. . . . .

“Hi, Mommy! Hi, Josh!” Emily’s smile grows as soon as she sees us waiting for her in the after school pick up area. She runs over and greets us both with hugs, talking a mile a minute about her day. Donna signs her out from the after school program as I kneel down to help her put her mittens on. 

“Where are we going?” She asks, taking my hand as we step onto the sidewalk. Typically she stays in an after care program until Donna is done with work, unless they have an appointment of some kind. 

“We’re picking Gigi up from school, and then we’re going out for a fun afternoon,” Donna tells her somewhat cryptically.

“All of us?” She asks, looking up at me with bright eyes. I’m caught off guard by the emotions that suddenly well  up at the thought of my little family.  This is everything I never really thought I wanted, but now that it’s here, I’m not giving it up.

“All of us.” I smile back, giving her hand a little squeeze. 

“This is the best day ever.” She declares without even knowing what we have planned.  I’m blown away by her faith in us. 

Donna pops into Gigi’s preschool and we swing by the townhouse to drop off our bags and change the girls into warmer layers, but we’re back out the door in an amount of time I’ve learned is considered to be ‘quick’ with two small children. 

Emily’s eyes are bright and shining as she looks around the Mall as Donna laces up her skates.  As I see her taking everything in, I’m reminded of the way I still feel whenever I stop and take a minute to appreciate this place, so much history here.  And now it’s personal for me too, it’s hard to believe that seven months ago, I was in this very location, trying to work up the nerve to share a first kiss with Donna, and now we’re back here, about to take a step towards making our family official.

“Josh, you done?”  Gigi asks, noticing that I’ve become distracted from getting her skates secured.  She doesn’t seem as awed by the setting as Emily, but she’s still grinning, clearly to be happy to be all together and about to have an adventure.

Once we’ve got the girls ready to go, Donna leads us out onto the ice. It’s been years since I skated but it comes back quickly.  I don’t have any fancy moves but I’m steady enough to take one of Gigi’s hands and help Donna keep her upright as she figures it out.  Emily is doing great on her own, but I’m glad that she’s sticking close by.

After a few trips around the rink, Gigi is able to move under her own power as long as she has one of us nearby to grab.  But after about 20 minutes, it’s obvious she’s done. 

“Why don’t you and Emily take a few more spins?”  I suggest to Donna.  “Gigi and I will get our skates off and go procure some Hot Chocolate for all of us.”

“A truly excellent idea.” Donna agrees, grinning at me.  I think we are both really excited about what comes next.  And Donna doesn’t even know about the little surprise I have for the girls.  I can’t wait to see their faces.

After I change Gigi back into her warm boots, we stand in line for 2 small cups of cocoa, extra marshmallows, and 2 large cups of coffee. I juggle the bag Donna brought along with a blanket and the cups while Gigi wanders along beside me towards a bench situated near a small heater. 

“Gigi, stay by me.” I tell her gently, hoping she listens.  She has a tendency to run ahead that makes me nervous.  To my relief she comes right back to my side, reaching up and taking a hold of my sleeve and giving me a beautiful smile that makes my heart stutter. I’m so glad she’s being cooperative, I just want this to be perfect.

When we reach the bench, I put the drinks down for a minute so I can get us situated. As soon as I sit down next to her, Gigi climbs into my lap. Everything just feels right. 

Donna and Emily wave at us as they go by, identical looks of joy on their faces, while Gigi and I just sip our drinks, content to watch.  Still, I’m glad to see Donna and Emily stop at the gate and make their way off the rink. I’m ready for the next part of this day, if I didn’t have Gigi on my lap I’m sure I’d be pacing with nervous energy.

“Did you see me, Josh?”  Emily asks, breathlessly, as she rushes over to our bench.

“I did.  You did a great job!”

She beams at me, and then climbs up on the bench next to Gigi and I.  Once she’s settled, I hand her a hot chocolate.

“Thank you.” She responds politely.

Donna squeezes in on the other side of Emily, and I adjust the blanket so that it’s covering their legs as well. I glance at my watch and then scan the area.  The photographer I hired should be here by now to get some candid photos.  I don’t want to talk to the girls until I know that he’s ready.

I’m relieved when I spot him at the end of the rink.  He’s got a zoom lens and he gives me a thumbs up.  Okay.  Here we go.

Gigi protests just a bit as I slide her off my lap and deposit her next to her sister on the bench, but her eyes light up as I pull the jewelry boxes out of my pocket and I sink to one knee in front of the bench.

“Emily Jane, Giovanna Marielle, I have an important question to ask you.”

Emily is smiling at me, while Gigi giggles.  I don’t think either of them really know what’s coming.  

“Would you like to be a family? Your Mommy and I are going to get married, and I’d like your blessing.”

Donna is looking at me in delighted surprise.  She knew that I wanted to ask for their blessing but I didn’t tell her how I was planning to do it.

“YES!” Emily shouts, throwing her arms around my neck.

“YES!” Gigi echos, not to be outdone by her sister, even though I’m not sure she knows what any of this means.

I hug them tightly for a few minutes while I regain my composure, then I settle them back down on the bench.

“I gave your Mommy a ring when I asked her to marry me.”

“An engagement ring?”  Emily asks.  “Can I see?”

Donna shows the girls her hand and Emily’s eyes light up.  “That is so pretty!” She declares earnestly.  “You did a good job.”

“Thank you.  I, um, I got something for the two of you too.”  I tell her, handing them each a box.  

Emily opens hers and when her eyes fall on the necklace inside her mouth forms a perfect little o.

Chapter Text

I watch as the girls stare at the heart shaped gold lockets Josh has given them in complete awe. The truth is, I’m in awe too. 

This moment feels like something that we’ve been slowly building to for months yet I find all of the pieces to be completely unexpected. If I ever had any reservations about my relationship with Josh and becoming a family- which i didn't- they'd certainly be gone right now. The girls are looking at their shiny new necklaces in wonder, but I can’t seem to focus on anything but Josh. I reach out for him, where he’s kneeling in the snow, and gently touch his cheek to capture his attention. I lean over from where I’m sitting on the bench to give him a kiss. I’m not sure I have any words to explain how I’m feeling right now, but I hope he understands what I’m trying to communicate to him. 

“Thank you!” Gigi announces in a loud voice, not quite sensing the tone of what’s happening. Still, I’m grateful for any kind of manners. 

“You’re welcome,” Josh tells her, wrapping her in his arms and giving her a kiss on top of the head when she slides off the bench to give him a hug. 

 “Oh thank you, Josh.” Emily adds, wrapping her arms around his neck as he gives her a little squeeze. 

I watch in silence, wanting to remember this moment forever. I lean in for another quick kiss. This really is perfect.

It’s only another moment before Gigi begins to get restless, and reaches for her cocoa. I take her locket for safe keeping, examining it closely before I tuck it away. They’re delicate but high quality, with a small diamond in the front of each one. They’re something the girls will keep forever. 

“Mommy?” Emily carefully Emily makes her way back up on the bench next to me. “Can we put pictures inside of them when we get home?”

“Sure.” I brush her hair gently and pull her close. “We can find something you’d like to keep in there and I’ll shrink it down to the right size.” 

“Can I wear it?” She asks hopefully, a sparkle in her eye.

“Yes, you may,” I tell her. “Josh can help you put it on, but you have to be careful with this. It’s for very special occasions.” 

“Okay,” she promises me. And if there was ever a 5 year old that would take that vow to heart, it’s Emily. 

Josh carefully clasps the locket around Emily’s neck, causing her to beam at him in adoration once again. Then he settles in next to me, with his arm across the back bench as Gigi picks up a hand full of snow. 

I see him watching someone across the ice rink, and motioning slightly with his head. 

“What’s going on?” I ask, glancing around to see if there’s a Congressman vying for his attention.

“Thats Paul.” Josh nods towards a man in a peacoat and scarf. “He’s the photographer I hired. I wanted to get a few photos of this.” 

My vision blurs as my eyes fill with even more happy tears, as once again, Josh shows how much he gets me. “You hired a photographer?” 

“Yes.” He seems pleased as he gives me a smile.

“Everything is just so perfect,” I gush.

“You’re perfect for me, Donnatella.” The way he says my name makes me melt a bit on the inside. I know he’s not just feeding me a line.

Our lips touch gently. As wonderful as this moment is, I’m also looking forward to having some quiet time together this evening. 

“Josh?” Emily asks curiously. “Why’d you call my mommy that name?” 

“Ah,” he hesitates. “Well, because I love her. I love everything about her, including her name. So sometimes I’m going to call her Donnatella.”

“Oh.” Emily seems satisfied, and I notice that Gigi’s watching him with a focused intensity we don’t normally see from her.

The photographer approaches and gives us a small wave of acknowledgement as he weaves through the crowd of people. 

“Gigi,” Josh requests. “Can you come over here and sit with us for a second, please?” 

“Giovanna.” Gigi states, staring directly at Josh. 

“Hmmm?” He looks confused, and I’m not quite following either. “Gigi? Can you sit with me and Emily and Mommy for some pictures?”

“Giovanna.” She states with increased enthusiasm. Suddenly it clicks in my head. It must click for Josh at the same time.

“Giovanna” Josh responds softly to her, giving her name the same accent as he does when he says Donnatella.

She looks at him like he’s the best person she ever met in her life and it occurs to me that he just may be.

. . . . .

Josh suggests that we stop at a diner on the way home, and I don’t object. The girls both choose breakfast for dinner, and neither could wipe the grin of their face if they had to. Emily declares that today was her favorite day on the ride home, and I see Josh’s dimples pop out as he beams at her praise. I reach over to take his hand and give it a squeeze as I agree wholeheartedly with my daughter. 

Once we’re home Josh helps me get  the girls out of their coats and hang everything up in the hall closet, then he  takes the bag with the damp mittens, scarfs, and hats from the ice rink to the laundry room to throw them in the dryer.

“Now I get why you brought extras!” He yells, while I herd the girls upstairs towards the bath.

The girls are still fairly wound up from the afternoon, but both are in good moods so bathtime goes fairly quickly. They’re in pajamas and I'm just finishing brushing Emily’s hair when I hear the front door open. 

“Daddy’s here,” I tell the girls. “Put your slippers on and go downstairs. He’s going to read you a story before you go to sleep tonight.” 

Emily does as she’s told and quickly makes her way to the living room to greet Jack. Gigi follows along without any additional response. 

I toss their bath towels into the hamper and stand up to follow them. I’d like to keep this evening’s conversation short and to the point, so I don’t want them to get distracted playing downstairs. 

“Mommy!” Emily turns to face me as soon as my feet hit the landing. “Did you know that Daddy lives here now?” 

I plaster a fake smile on my face, trying not to completely kill my daughter's enthusiasm. “Well, he doesn’t live here in this house,” I tell her cautiously. “But he’s in town, yes.”

“So now he can come to my school and eat breakfast with me and play puzzles with me and Gigi.” Emily’s so excited that I can’t bring myself to say anything that would almost certainly cause her to have a reality check. 

“That’s nice, sweetie. And he’s going to read you a story before bed tonight.”

“You are?” Emily looks up to him.

Jack glances towards me looking slightly annoyed at my manipulation and I shoot him a glare. He’s being given an opportunity to tuck his daughters into bed. If he doesn’t take it we’ll be having a completely different conversation in 20 minutes. 

“Oh.” He seems to catch my drift. “Yes. Do you have a book picked out?” He asks Emily.

She gets a deer in the headlights, slightly panicked look on her face when she doesn’t have an answer. 

“Why don’t you and Gigi show Daddy your bookshelf and ask him if there’s something he’d like to read you.” I offer, trying to assure Emily it’s okay that she wasn’t prepared. “I think the one he sent you about the yellow submarine is in there.” 

Emily looks relieved as she takes Jack’s hand and begins to walk towards the stairs. 

“Come on, Anna.” He calls. “Bedtime.”

Gigi doesn’t move from where she’s situated on the floor with a naked Barbie. 

“Anna.” He states a bit more forcefully. “Don’t dawdle.” 

Gigi, who doesn't even realize he’s speaking to her, hums to herself and digs through a small box before pulling out a sequin doll outfit. 

I can see Josh survey the situation thoughtfully. If Gigi was intentionally ignoring me, I’m sure he’d say something to her, but I think he realizes the same thing I do and he’s approaching this very carefully.

“Gigi,” I bend down next to her, speaking softly. None of us want to get this conversation started on a bad foot, but the fact of the matter is that Gigi and Jack just don’t quite understand each other yet. “It’s time to go to bed. We’ve had a fun day, but now it’s time to have quiet time and then go to sleep so we can have more fun tomorrow. Your Daddy is going to read you a story and tuck you in. Say nighty night to Josh, and go upstairs with Emily, okay?” 

“Okay, Mama.” 

I’m relieved when she quickly agrees, giving me a kiss, then hopping up and moving over to throw her arms around Josh before giving him a kiss on the cheek too. 

“Night, pumpkin,” he tells her. “Sweet dreams.”

Gigi runs over to Emily and takes her hand.

“Night, Em.” Josh calls from the couch. 

“Goodnight, Josh. I-” She glances towards Jack, who is watching her intently, and I see her retreat a bit. The “I love you” that she gives him every night dies on her tongue and she shrinks in on herself, staring at the floor. “Thank you for taking me ice skating and giving me a pretty necklace.”

Josh's face falls a bit as he sees the change in her too. 

“You’re welcome. Sleep tight.” He gives her a sad smile as Jack motions for the girls to head up the stairs. 

I open my mouth to explain what I perceive just happened, but Josh takes my hand before I can say anything.

“I know.” He tells me. “It’s okay. This is a lot for her to take in at once.”

I nod my head and sit down next to him on the couch, resting my head on his shoulder. I want to get this conversation with Jack over with so we can be alone, but I’m so grateful that Josh is going to be by my side.

It feels like barely five minutes go by before we hear Jack coming back down the stairs.  He must have only read them one short story.  What a shame. And there’s virtually no chance that the girls are really asleep already, so we need to keep our voices especially low. I definitely don’t want Emily to overhear anything.

Josh lets a small sigh escape as he stands up. I’m a little confused but I follow his lead.

“Kitchen table is better for negotiating.” He whispers.

He’s got a point.  And it’s farther from the stairs. Plus it isn’t as comfortable.  I don’t want Jack settling in and staying too long.

As Jack enters the room he takes a deep breath, “Well, shall we?” He asks, scowling a bit at Josh.

“Let’s go in there.” I announce as I gesture toward the other room.

“WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?” Jack bursts out, grabbing my hand.

Josh literally growls as he moves between us extracting my hand from Jack’s grip.

“It’s okay, I’ve got this, Josh.” I tell him softly as I pull him back to my side.  Then I look Jack square in the face.

“Josh and I are getting married.  We told the girls this afternoon.” I stare him down, almost daring him to say anything.  But Jack’s training kicks in.  It’s almost like I can actually see the moment he switches gears.  This is part of the difficulty in our marriage- quite a bit of the time I just felt like a problem to be managed.

“I see.” He responds tersely before he marches into the kitchen, expecting Josh and I to follow, which we do.

Scarcely fifteen minutes later, Jack’s on his way back out the door.  

We’ve agreed that he should spend every other weekend with the girls and also see them on Tuesday evenings. We’ll alternate holidays and their birthdays.  With both of our parents out of state, it’s just not realistic to split the days.  He’s in a hotel for the time being, but once he’s settled in we will finalize a schedule. I even told him that  if he’d like to see them more often than we’ve agreed, I just ask for 24 hours notice. I don’t think he’ll take me up on that offer. 

After he shuts the door on Jack, Josh leads me over to the couch so we can relax. “I thought he was going to fight us more, but he was pretty reasonable. Maybe this will be easier than I expected.”  Josh muses as he puts his arm around me.

“Maybe.” I shrug. “But mostly I think I had a master negotiator at the table to smooth things over.” 

“Well, either way, at least we have a plan going forward.  And now I have some business of my own to attend to with my future wife.” 

“Oh yeah?” I give him a coy smile. 

“Oh, yeah.” Then he gives me a searing kiss, leaving no doubt about his intentions.

Chapter Text

“So you really think I should do this?”  Sam asks as he slides into my visitor’s chair.

“The California 47th?” I ask just to make sure we’re on the same page.  A lot has happened in the last couple days.  

Admittedly, since winning the election my focus has been on my personal life, but I do have a job to do, and this thing with Sam is definitely part of that.  Plus he’s been my friend a long time and he needs my help.   

“Yeah.” Sam continues,  “I mean. Do I have any chance? Any chance at all?  And if not, am I completely destroying any possibility for the future?”

He looks so earnest. And his words really hit home. This isn’t the same situation at all but I feel like I’m putting everything on the line right now too.

“I’m not going to lie to you. It’s a long shot.  But if anyone has a chance, it’s you Sam.  You’re from there.  You’ve been out in the world doing good.  We’ve never really run a serious democrat there so we don’t know how close it will be if we try and if we’re ever going to try it should be with someone like you. So yeah, if you want to do this, then I think you should.”

“I want to.” Sam admits.  “I gave Mrs. Wilde my word and that still means something to me.”

“Well that’s good enough for me.”

“So will you run it?”

“Ah . . .”  That’s something I didn’t expect. I suppose I could ask Leo for a leave of absence.  But then he’s down two deputies.  I can’t imagine that would go over well.  And I’ve been really involved in developing our tax plan.  I’d really be leaving a hole there.  And I really don’t want to move to California for several months.  Especially not now, when Donna and I just got engaged and her ex is suddenly back in the picture.  But I don’t want to let Sam down.

“Nevermind, Josh. It’s okay.” Sam interjects before I can answer.

“What?”

“You’ve got a pretty bad poker face.” Sam chuckles, “I could practically see every thought you were having scroll across your face.”

“I don’t want to let you down.”

“You never do, man.  You’re needed here.  The President and Leo can’t really spare you right now.  And you have a wedding to plan.”

“I think I’ll leave the planning to Donna." I inform him, grateful that he seems to understand my dilemma. "But I do have one thing in my department that I’ll need your help with.”

“What do you need?”

“A best man.”

“Absolutely, Buddy. I wouldn’t miss it.” 

Sam’s face breaks out in a genuine smile and his shoulders relax.  Clearly the chaos of the last 36 hours have been weighing on him.  Well, I might not be able to run his campaign, but I’m going to make sure that I’m here for him, just like he’s always been for me. 

. . . . . 

After Sam leaves, I realize that I have just enough time before my next meeting to make a phone call.  And it’s time that I do it.

She answers on the second ring.  “Hello?”

“Hi, Mom.”

“Joshua!  How lovely to hear from you in the middle of the week. Is everything okay?”

“Yes Mom, everything is fantastic.”

“Really?”  She asks, hopefully.  I’m sure she’s been waiting for this phone call ever since I asked her to bring Bubbe’s ring with her when she visited for my birthday.

“Yes.The weather here is lovely.”  I tease her just a little with my response.

“Joshua.  I’m an old woman.  And I’m getting older every minute.  You really shouldn’t keep me waiting like this.”

I laugh out loud. She’s the queen of well-intentioned guilt. “I’m sorry, Mame. I know I’ve kept you waiting almost 40 years but I’m finally going to give you those grandchildren.”

“You asked her?”  Mom practically squeals in delight.

“Yes.” I can’t help grinning.

“And she said yes?” Mom deadpans, making me laugh again. 

“She said yes.  And the girls are excited about officially becoming a family too.”

“Oh darling, I’m so happy for you. Donna is absolutely wonderful.  And Emily and Giovanna are delightful.  They were worth the wait.”

“Yes they were.”

“So do you have a date picked yet?”

“No, it’s been a little crazy around here.  I’d like to get married as soon as possible, but I don’t want to miss the chance of seeing Donna and the girls all dressed up, so whatever it takes to make that happen.  But obviously whatever Donna wants.  She probably has lots of ideas --- you could call her if you like.”

“I would love to.” Mom answers, softly.  “Actually, I’d really like to help with the wedding if it’s okay. Donna’s parents probably already paid for one, and I haven’t, do you think that would be okay?”

“Given our ages, I figured we’d just pay for it ourselves.  I can afford a wedding.”

“I know, but it’s something mothers like to do.” Mom reminds me softly, not really pushing, but not backing down either.

“Okay, Mom, you can help, maybe you can pay for the flowers or something.”

“And the rehearsal dinner, and the brunch the next day. And new shoes for everyone.  That’s traditionally the groom’s family’s job.”

“Shoes?”

“Well that part might just be our family tradition.”

“Okay, Mom.” There is really no point in arguing with her about this. At least not unless Donna really objects.

“And I want to set up college funds for the girls. I want Donna to know they are mine now.”

That chokes me a up a bit. I already feel like I'm the luckiest man alive to be gaining this family, but Mom’s reaction reminds me that I’m not the only one who has been waiting for this moment.

“Thanks, Mom. That means a lot.”

. . . . 

My eyes are just about crossing as I read through the latest scoring report on our tax proposals. But I need to be ready to brief the President on this in a half an hour.

Still, when my cell phone rings and it’s Donna’s number on the display, I don’t hesitate to answer it.

“Hi sweet cheeks!” I greet her happily, as I stand up and face the window.

“Hi Josh!” Emily’s voice chirps back.  

Yikes! I’d better be more careful about how I answer the phone in the future. But in my defense Emily’s never called me directly before.  That realization makes my heart stop. Why is she calling?

“Emily-- Is everything okay?”

“Yes! I just wanted to tell you something.”

My heartbeat returns to normal as I register the happy excitement in her tone.

“Okay, what?”

“I got all my spelling words right!  I even got the bonus word!”

“That’s great! I’m so proud of you.  Purple  is a really hard word.” 

“P-U-R-P-L-E." She spells it for me again in a sing -song way just like I taught her. "Thanks for helping me learn it!”

“Any time, sweetheart.” I respond turning around.  It’s then that I notice the President standing in the doorway, grinning at me.  Oh my god.  Why is he here? I’m supposed to meet him in his office in 20 minutes.

“Um, Emily. The President is in my office.  I’m really proud of you but I have to go back to work, okay?”

“Okay, Bye Josh! Tell him I said ‘HI!”

“Okay, I will. Goodbye Emily.” I flip my phone closed and clear my throat

“I’m sorry, Sir. I thought I was supposed to come to your office.”

“Never apologize for talking to your daughter, Josh.”

“‘Yes, sir.” I answer reflexively. Grinning as I realize that he just acknowledged Emily as my daughter.

‘She’s five?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Purple is pretty impressive.”

“She’s very smart.” I assure him, just a little boastfully.

“I bet she is.  And what did you promise her at the end of the call?” He asks curiously.

“I promised to tell you she said ‘hi.’”

The President chuckles at that.  “Well you tell her that I said that the next time she’s here she should come say hello in person. I'd like to meet your family. You haven't been keeping them from me on purpose have you?”

"No sir. You were in a meeting when they toured the White House and you were a little busy election night.”

“Okay.  Well.  I guess we’ve put off this conversation about taxes about as long as we can, haven't we?.

“Yes, sir.”

"Walk back to the Oval with me."

Chapter Text

“Hi, Mom.” I greet her excitedly as soon as she answers the phone.  “I’m getting married!”

“Oh, honey! That’s fantastic.” Mom squeals, joining me in my delight.  “When did he propose?”

I spend the next twenty minutes telling her all about Josh’s impromptu proposal, then his methodical perfection in how we told the girls.

“He’s so good with them.”  Mom agrees.  “I was a little worried when you visited over the summer and they talked about him so much.”  Mom admits, “but then once we met him and I saw how much he loves them . . .” Mom sighs, “well, I knew this day was coming.  It sounds perfect.”

“Not perfect.” I admit.  “But I’m not going to make the mistake of thinking everything has to be perfect all the time this time.”

“Good.” My Mom says bluntly.  “You know we welcomed Jack into this family.  And you seemed like a picture perfect family but image isn’t everything.  Life is messy.  Love and laughter, and happiness and spontaneity are what make life worth living.”

“I tried Mom, I really did.  But Jack and I-- we weren’t meant to be.  I don’t regret the time we spent together, we have incredible children. But we were just coexisting. Trying to make it into something more than it was.”

"And it’s different with Josh.”  She states matter of factly.

“It is!” I agree. “I never felt this way with Jack. Josh isn’t suave.  He’s kind of goofy, actually.  But I feel alive when I’m with him.  And he doesn’t always say exactly the right thing, but I know he’s being authentic, I don’t have to wonder if he means what he says.  And he actually admits when he’s wrong and apologizes. He doesn’t try to make me think that everything is my fault.  He loves me for who I am.”

“You found your soulmate.”

“Yes. I have.”

“So . . . .  when’s the wedding?”

“Sometime this summer.  I need to check into venues.”

“Do you want me to call the church?”

“No.” I quickly squash that idea. It would be too weird to get married in the same church. “I think we’re going to get married here in DC. And probably not in a church.  Josh is Jewish.”

“So . . . a temple?”

“I don’t know. I’m not sure what the rules are, and I’m not going to convert. Plus Josh doesn’t really attend regularly. There’s a really beautiful old house and garden in Georgetown.  I’m going to see if there’s any way to get a date there.”

“It’s probably booked solid for years.”

“Maybe, we might have to pick a less traditional day.”

“Yeah,  Friday night weddings are becoming a lot more common and I’ve heard they’re cheaper.  We don’t have a lot saved but Dad can borrow against his retirement and as long as we’re careful I’m sure we can put together a beautiful event.”

“Oh Mom, that’s really sweet but you don’t have to pay for this wedding.  Josh and I are both professionals, we can cover the cost ourselves.”

“Well, we want to help. I know you’re all grown up, but it’s important for Dad and I to show that Josh is part of the family now.  Maybe we can buy your dress?  And the girls’?  OH! Have you  started looking at dresses yet?”  

“No, I haven’t looked at dresses.  I’m not even sure what’s appropriate for a second wedding.”

“Donna,” Mom breaks in gently, “don’t forget, this is Josh’s first wedding.  He deserves to see you in a special gown.  And someday your girls are going to look back at your wedding photos and see them as the time the four of you officially became a family.  There is nothing inappropriate about making the day as special as you want it to be.  And anyone who says otherwise can answer to me!”

Mom moves rapidly from sweet and sensitive to excited and back to sensitive again.. It’s enough to make my head spin a little but in a good way.  I wasn’t completely sure how my parents would react.  It certainly seemed like they accepted Josh when they met him last month but I was concerned they would think this is all happening too fast.  Mom really isn’t giving off any negative vibes though and it feels really good.

“Thanks, Mom! It’s nice to hear that.  Honestly I wouldn’t mind running down to the courthouse and marrying Josh tomorrow, but what you just said makes a lot of sense. I’ll pick up a Bride’s magazine on the way home. Will that make you happy?”  

She laughs at my teasing.  “Yes, that will make me happy! I’ll get one too and we can compare notes later.”

“Okay Mom.  Love you.”

“Love you too.  I’m really happy for you, Donna.”

After Mom hangs up I just enjoy the good feelings for a moment. I really had considered the idea of a courthouse wedding with just the girls and Josh, but I’m starting to really like the idea of doing this in style.  Plus, Josh in a tux?  Yum.

. . . . . 

At 7pm the doorbell rings.  When I peek through the peephole and see Mrs. Landingham, I’m pleasantly surprised. quickly unlocking the door so she can come inside.

“Hello dear,” She greets me handing over a tupperware bowl, “I made cookies for you.”

At the mention of cookies, the girls suddenly materialize.  “Hi Mrs. Landingham!” They greet her enthusiastically.  

“Can we have a  cookie, please?”  Emily asks nicely, which makes me very happy and much more inclined to say yes, but she’s looking at Mrs. Landingham.

“You’ll have to ask your Mom.” Mrs. Landingham wisely advises her.

“Please Mommy!” Gigi begs.

“One each.” I agree, handing the container over to Emily..

“Thank you!” They shout as they run off towards the kitchen..

“They really are such lovely girls.” Mrs. Landingham says with a smile as we watch them leave the room.

“Yes, most of the time.” I agree, and we grin at each other as we hear the girls giggling at the table.

“So, I heard that Congratulations are in order.” Mrs. Landingham  offers softly.  “I’m so happy for you.  Josh is a good man, and you’re good for him too. You make a lovely family.”

“Oh, Mrs. Landingham, I’m just euphoric.  Thank you for setting us up on that date. I really didn’t expect this to happen but I feel like I’ve found my soulmate. And he’s so good with the girls.  You were right.  He’s a special guy.”  

“And you, my dear, are a very special lady.” 

.  . . . . 

After the girls are all tucked in Josh and I settle into the couch.  He’s reviewing a file, while I flip through the Bride’s magazine that I picked up on the way home.

“Oh!” I exclaim as I see a dress that I like.  “Hey, look at this,” I instruct Josh as I turn the magazine towards him.

“Hmmm?” He looks up, but when he occurs to him what I’m trying to show him he throws his arm over his eyes. “Ack! NO!  What are you doing?  I can’t see that!”

“What?”

“Are you crazy? I can’t see your dress.  Shouldn’t you know that?!”

“You can’t see me IN the dress, silly. And I don’t even know if this is the one.”

“Still.  Better safe than sorry.” He insists.  

“Okay.” I agree, setting the magazine on the coffee table. I guess I’m done with that.

“Hey . . .” Josh looks at me carefully, “I’m sorry. Did I just ruin a moment?”

“No.” I quickly answer, even though I am trying to tamp down a bit of disappointment.

He raises an eyebrow and studies my face for a moment.  “You can show me if you want.” He offers.  “I really do like the idea of being surprised, of watching you walking down the aisle wearing something special, but I don’t want that to take anything away from the right now. So if you want to pick out the dress together, it’s okay with me.”

My heart soars at his words.  The fact that he’d put aside what he wants just to make me happy makes me happy.  I don’t want to take away something he’s looking forward to either. This is how you make a marriage work- by looking out for each other.

 “Oh Josh, you really are very sweet sometimes. Don’t worry about it.  I can show our Moms the dresses.  Maybe even CJ.  I don’t need to show you.”

“I can help with other stuff.” He suggests. “Maybe dresses for the girls?”

“You can help with the food.” I tell him, leaning in and giving him a quick kiss.  “We can arrange a tasting.  And you can help pick out flowers.”

“I’m very good at flowers.” He tells me with a bit of a nod.  He’s playing it like mock sincerity, but truth is, he really is very good at flowers.

“I know you are.”

“You know what else I’m good at?”  He asks, wiggling his eyebrows and leering at me suggestively.  “Wanna go practice for the honeymoon?”.

Chapter Text

Between dealing with Triplehorn and Hoynes and trying to get the prescription drug plan passed, I’ve barely had a minute to spare during the last few weeks.  Which in some ways is good because if I take a moment to stop and think, I worry about Emily and Gigi.

Having Jack back in their life is definitely an adjustment.  He hasn’t had them overnight yet, but he has taken them for part of each weekend. Little trips to the park and to go swimming at his hotel. I think Donna was really wise to suggest that he build up to having them for an entire weekend.  And I’m really relieved that Jack agreed. Still, it hasn’t been easy.

Just this morning Emily melted down while Donna fixed her hair, crying about the fact that it needed to be perfect because Jack is picking them up after school. I’ve noticed she’s definitely more stressed whenever she knows she’s going to see her Dad. I’m starting to understand that some of her particularities are the result of a perfection complex that seem to be a response to her Dad’s nature.

And the way that Gigi clings to me when she comes home after seeing him scares me a little.  Donna assures me that he’d never hurt them.  But Gigi is so exuberant and he’s so rigid, I don’t want to see her lose herself in some sort of effort to please him. And it seems rather obvious to me that she’s experiencing some distress over these new arrangements.

But I’m not completely oblivious to the fact that he is their Father, he should be a part of their lives as long as it’s good for them.  And if there is a way for it to be good for them, I want to help.  I wonder if he’d agree to family therapy?  I’ll ask Donna what she thinks.

. . . . . 

At 6 O’clock, I’m out the door.  It’s the girls first full weekend with Jack and I want to be home to support Donna.  I know she’s feeling nervous. Maybe I am too.  Just a little bit.  But I’ve got a plan.  It involves reservations at Phoebe's, copious amounts of wine, and then taking full advantage of the fact that we have the house to ourselves. 

When I walk through the door, she’s on the phone.  “It’s my Mom.” She mouths at me before I plant a kiss on her.

“Okay, reservations at 7.” I whisper.

“Yes, Josh is home.” She tells her Mom.  Hold on, I’ll put you on speaker.  She presses a button and grins at me.

“Hi, Mrs. Moss.” I greet her.

“Now, Josh, what did I tell you?”  She chides me gently.

“Sorry, Mom, how are you?”

“I’m happy to learn that you’re all coming to Wisconsin next week after all.”

“After the way Emily talks about your pumpkin pie, I wouldn’t miss it.” I assure her.  “The girls are going to help the President pardon the Turkey on Wednesday then we’ll be on our way that evening.”

“I can’t believe that! I’ll have to set my VCR.”

“I’ll make sure that CJ gets us a copy of the footage, don’t worry about it.”

“Well I’m really glad that you are all still able to come for Thanksgiving, since you won’t be able to for Christmas.”  Donna’s Mom sounds very disappointed. 

“Mom, we talked about this. Jack hasn’t spent a Christmas with girls since Gigi was a baby. It’s only fair to let him have this one.”

I know she’s right but I’m with Donna’s Mom.  This will be my first Christmas with the girls too.  I’m really disappointed.  And Donna pointing out that I don’t actually celebrate Christmas completely misses the point.

“I know, I know.” Donna’s Mom quickly agrees, “And you are being a good Mom, but I’m still going to miss you guys.”

“Well, we’ll just have to celebrate Christmas while we're there.” Donna insists, rolling her eyes a little. “Anyway, Mom, I’ve got to let you go, Josh and I are going out tonight, remember?”

“You kids have a good time.” Donna’s Mom chirps.  “Love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.”  Donna responds before hanging up.

“Hey.” She greets me softly.

“Hey.” I echo back. “C’mere.” I take her hand and gently pull her up off the couch and into a hug.  “How’re you doing?”

“I know this is the right thing to do. I have to give him the chance to get to know them and have him be a part of their life, but this isn’t easy.”

“I know.”

“So are you going to take me out and get me drunk?”

“That’s my plan.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

. . . . .

After a fabulous dinner, where Donna only drank a glass and a half of wine, we’re snuggled into the back of a cab on our way to Iota to listen to some music and have a few more drinks.

Donna’s holding her phone in her hand.  She was hoping that Jack would have the girls call to say goodnight, that’s why she didn’t drink much with dinner, but their bedtime has come and gone and we haven’t heard from them. I think she’s really fighting the urge to call and check in.

Just as we cross the bridge into Arlington, the phone rings.  She grins at me as she hits the speaker button and answers. 

“Hi!”

“Mommy?” Emily’s voice is sharper and higher than normal and we can hear Gigi wailing in the background. We’re both immediately on high alert.

“Emily, what’s wrong? Why is Gigi crying?”

“She was jumping all around and wouldn’t stop.  Daddy put her in the corner.”

“Time out?”

“Yes.”

“Did she hurt herself when she was jumping?” Donna asks, a little confused. 

Gigi is well acquainted with time out. She’s spent more than a few moments thinking about her actions on a small purple chair in the corner of the living room.  She doesn’t usually sob through it.

“No.”

“Why’s she crying, Emily?” Donna asks again, sensing there must be more to this.

“Daddy shouted at her.” Emily admits.  “I think he scared her.”

“Put your Dad on the phone.” Donna instructs Emily, while I lean forward to the driver.

“Pull over.” I demand.  “We might have a different destination.”

It’s silent for a few moments, then we hear Emily’s voice telling Jack that it’s Mommy.

“Hello Donna.” Jack answers crisply.

“How long has she been crying, Jack?” Donna inquires, getting straight to the point.

“30 minutes.  She’ll wear herself out eventually.” Jack informs her coldly.

“Have you even tried to calm her down?” Donna asks, exasperated.

“Yes. I have.” Jack retorts.  “I tried to talk to her. It doesn’t seem to help.  She’s really spun up.” He admits the last bit a little hollowly.

“You don’t have to do this, Jack.” Donna gently offers.  “She’s just not ready. Sleepovers are really hard on little kids.  I can be there in ten minutes.  She can sleep in her own bed tonight and you can pick her up in the morning. . . . It would be easier. . . .  On both of you.”

“Okay, fine.” Jack finally agrees with a long-suffering sigh.

“Okay, see you soon.”  Donna confirms, ending the call.

“Take us to Foggy Bottom- the Residence Inn.  Hurry.” I tell the driver.

“She might actually fall asleep before we get there.” Donna speculates. “But she’s pretty stubborn.  She hasn’t had a tantrum like this in more than a year.  But they can last a long time when she really gets worked up.”

“We’ll figure it out when we get there.  Even if she is asleep, you’ll feel better if you see that with your own eyes and get to kiss her good night. And Emily might still be awake even if Gigi isn’t, she might need us too.”

. . . . 

The driver gets us there in less than ten minutes, so I give him a big tip and make him promise to wait for us.

Jack opens the door as soon as Donna knocks.  He looks relieved for a split second before he notices me and gives me a glare. 

“Mommy!” Gigi sobs standing up on the pull out sofa.

As Donna darts over to pick her up, Jack snarls, “I’ll have you know, I had this completely under control until Emily called you.  Anna just needs a little more discipline and structure.”

“Her name is Gigi. You might find it easier to connect with her if you actually call her that.” Donna snaps, glaring at him as she rubs Gigi’s back.

Emily stands by the couch frozen, with wide eyes, taking it all in.

“You might as well go with them, Emily.” Jack tells her.

Her eyes fill with tears and her lip pops out, but she holds herself together and nods.  

“Yes, Daddy.”

She walks over to him and gives his leg an awkward hug. He pats her on the head once without really looking at her.  If he did, he’d see her heart breaking right in front of him. But he doesn’t, so she lets go and walks over to the door where she stands stiffly just out of my reach.  I want to gather her up in my arms and tell her how brave and wonderful she is, but I think Jack would see it as a challenge and right now all I want to do is get my girls home without further incident.

“You can bring their bags when you pick them up tomorrow.”  Donna directs him as she walks toward us.

“I don’t think . . .” Jack starts, but Donna cuts him off.

“This is still your weekend.  If you are going to be in their life you have to spend time with them. Call me in the morning.”

Donna doesn’t give him a chance to say anything else, quickly walking out the door, with Emily and I following her.  Once the door closes behind us, I reach down and take Emily’s hand.

She looks up at me with eyes filled with sorrow.  “I shouldn’t have called you.  Daddy isn’t going to love me anymore.”

“Oh, Emily.” I scoop her up.  “You didn’t do anything wrong.  You’re a wonderful big sister.”

She buries her head in my shoulder and I rub her back as we make our way to the cab. 

Chapter Text

To my surprise, Jack calls before the girls wake up to let me know that he’ll be here at the normal time to get them for breakfast.

 After last night’s fiasco, I half expected him to call off the rest of the weekend. It could have gone either way.  On one hand, he’s very big on personal responsibility. On the other, he doesn’t like to waste his time on things he deems pointless. It’s often not clear to me which of those apply to us.  I guess the fact that he’s here is something.

When I open the door, I see that he’s got their backpacks.  He’s also carrying two gift bags with tissue paper sticking out the top.  A peace offering, I suppose.  Or a bribe. Or just another attempt to buy their love. Maybe one of these days he’ll figure out he always had it.

“Hey Jack,” I try to make my tone as pleasant as possible, I really don’t want to fight with him.  We need to do our best to get along  for the sake of our girls.

“Hello, Donna, you look lovely.” He responds in a charming voice that reminds me of how he was in the early years.  It’s better than the derision, but I’m not as naive this time. There is absolutely no chance of him sucking me back in.

I gesture toward the couch but Jack looks towards the stairs.  “Where are the girls?”

“They’re almost ready, but I think we should talk.  I’m really glad that you’re here.  It means a lot to the girls.  They want to spend time with you.”

“Maybe not Gigi.” Jack smirks but I can’t help but notice he used her name and that makes me smile at him.

“I heard what you said last night.” He admits.  “It’s a ridiculous name, but if it makes her happy I’ll give it a try.”

I can’t tell if he’s trying to rile me up or if he’s just really still bitter about it, but I just bite my tongue against the retort. The last thing I want to do is give him an excuse to change his mind. He needs to start making a real connection to Gigi and it needs to start with her name.

“So, do you want to try again on the sleepover or do you want to bring them back here for bedtime and pick them up again on Sunday?”

Jack is silent for a few minutes.  He’s not one to make a rash decision and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

“The hotel suite isn’t very big. That may be part of the issue.”  

“Have you had any luck finding an apartment or condo?”

Jack scowls a little, offended by my implication that he’s not doing something properly. “The hotel is fine when it’s just me.  And I have been fairly busy at work. I’ll get to it.”

“Okay, well, I do have an idea, and hear me out . . .” I take a breath before making my suggestion, I must really love my girls to even consider this,  “. . . Josh and I can go stay at his place for the rest of the weekend.  You can stay here with the girls.  They’ll be in their own environment with all their toys.  They’ll be more comfortable and that will make it easier on you as well.”

Jack looks at me incredulously.  Ironically, it’s exactly the same look Josh gave me last night when I ran the idea past him.  He’s not thrilled, but as he pointed out, this is my house so it’s my decision.

“You’d let me stay here?”

“You’ve stayed over before.”

“Yeah, but you weren’t seeing anyone then.”

“Well I’m not going to stay here with you.  And Josh’s place is close by in case of an emergency.”

“Last night was not an emergency.” Jack states emphatically.  “Ann-- Gigi would have calmed down, and she would have gone to sleep if Emily hadn’t called you.”

“And about that,” I break in, still trying to maintain my civility, “Emily was pretty distraught over the fact that you sent her home too.  She thinks it was a punishment.  She hates disappointing you.”

Jack sighs and rolls his eyes a bit.

“Just make sure she knows you aren’t mad at her,okay?”

“I brought them presents.” Jack states, lifting up the bags, as if that will solve everything.

“Are you going to stay here with them or what?”

“I don’t have anything with me. I’ll just keep them for the day and bring them back before bedtime.”

“Alright.”   That decision made I walk over to the stairs and holler up-- “Girls! Your Dad is here.”

Within a couple seconds, they both appear, with Josh behind them, still holding the book that he was reading to occupy them while I dealt with Jack.

Jack stands up and holds up the gift bags.  “Hi girls! I’ve got something for you.”

Their faces light up and they run down the stairs to him, last night forgotten for the time being at least.  Kids are very forgiving. When they reach him, Jack points for them to sit on the couch then he hands them the gift bags.

Josh wraps his arm around my waist and together we watch Gigi tear into her bag, while Emily gently removes the tissue paper and folds each piece nicely.

Gigi squeals as she pulls out a glittery gold tiara and wand followed by a rainbow-colored tutu and fairy wings.  It’s not a surprise when Emily’s bag holds the same thing, except in silver and blue.  I’m actually very pleased that he not only picked out something they’ll both like, he also picked out colors that they like. He’s seen pictures of them in dress up clothes quite often, I guess he’s paid attention.  Plus these are perfect things for them to take with them back to the hotel.

“Thank you, Daddy!” Emily tells him politely, beaming at him.

“You’re a good girl, Emily.” He responds, kissing her forehead.  She glows and looks at him in adoration when he’s done.  Then he turns to Gigi.

“Do you like it, Gigi?” he asks, stating her name a little stiffly.

“YES!” She shouts back. “THANK YOU!”

He shakes his head slightly, but smiles at her enthusiasm, so I’ll call it a success. Then he stands up.

“Well, ladies, shall we go to breakfast?”

“Can we wear our tutus?” Emily asks cautiously.

“No.” Jack briskly responds looking slightly horrified at the idea.

“You don’t want to get anything on them.” I call out.  “But I’ll put them in your backpacks for later.”

While the girls get their shoes on, I take the pajamas out of their backpacks and put the dress up clothes in.  Their swimsuits are still dry, so they must not have gone swimming last night. I wonder if that had anything to do with Gigi’s excess energy and outburst.  Swimming would have been a great way to wear her out.  They’re both little fish.

Once Jack and the girls are out the door, Josh wraps his arms back around me.

“So, he’s not staying here tonight?”

“No.”

“Well I can’t say I’m sorry about that.”

“Honestly, I’m relieved too. But I’m just trying to do everything I can to make this transition easier. It will be a lot better when he has his own place.”

Chapter Text

Sunday night, Emily is very quiet as she climbs into bed, staring at me for a few minutes with her big blue eyes. I can tell there is something on her mind.

“Are you feeling okay, sweetheart?” I ask her as I brush my hand over her forehead.  She doesn’t feel hot.

She nods, slowly still watching me.

“Do you want me to read our story?” Normally, she’s practically handing me the book the minute I sit down on the edge of her bed.  We’re about half way through The Secret Garden and she seems to really enjoy our one-on-one story time.

She nods again, but I notice she’s wringing her hands.  It’s a telltale sign that she’s nervous about something.

“Will you tell me what you’re thinking about?” 

She nods, but bites her lip and still doesn’t say anything, so I sit quietly, trying to give her time to process her thoughts. I don’t want to force her to talk to me. My therapist has used this technique on me many times.

Finally, she speaks. “Daddy said you’re trying to take his place and that if you weren’t here he could stay here with me and Gigi and Mommy like he used to.” Her voice is soft and hesitant.  She doesn’t sound mad at me, just confused.

A bolt of rage towards Jack shoots through me, but I try to keep my face neutral as I push it down. I’ve had a lot of experience dealing with this type of emotion working with Republicans all these years.  When I feel like I’m in control, I unlock my jaw and let out a small sigh. I’ll deal with Jack later.  The only thing that matters right now is my little girl.

“Emily, I love you so much.  And I love Mommy.  And I love Gigi.  And there’s room in my heart to love all of you.  I don’t have to pick just one. Right?”

She nods slowly.

“And you love your Mommy.  And you love Gigi.  And you love your Daddy.  And your grandparents and Mrs. Landingham. Right?”

She nods again.

“And there’s room in your heart to love all of them, right?”

“And I love you too, Josh. I do.” She quickly insists, her watery eyes breaking my heart. It absolutely kills me that she is hurting.

“I know sweetie.  And you don’t have to pick.  You can love all of us.  You don’t have to pick between your Daddy and me.  I promise, I won’t ever ask you to choose between us. He’s always going to be your Dad.  But I can always be your Josh.  Right?”

She nods and gives me a smile.  It’s not a thousand watt grin, but I’ll treasure it.  And hopefully the memory of it will keep me from punching her father in the face.

. . . . . . 

I don’t typically have a lot of interaction with Nancy McNally’s aide, but I spend the better part of the morning looking for a reason to stop by his office.  I’m mindful of Leo’s instruction to keep it professional at work, but I’m not opposed to manufacturing an excuse to make him see me.  It’s time we had a man to man conversation and I don’t want to take any time away from my girls in the evening.  Plus, this is my territory. I might as well use it to my advantage.

By the time I’m on my way to brief the President at 11, I’ve basically decided to have my assistant call Jack’s office to see if she can schedule a meeting under a vague pretext.  That’s when I get lucky and he’s on the way out of a meeting in the Oval right as I’m on the way in.

“Hey, Jack-” I call out, “have you got 15 minutes for me in about 90 minutes?”

His eyes narrow a bit, but he’s kind of stuck with Nancy right there. It’ll look bad if he says No to me.  

“Sure.” He grits out. 

“Great.  See you then.”

. . . . 

“Come in.” Jack shouts after I knock on his door.  I take a breath, square my shoulders and turn the knob.  Even though I anticipate that this might not be pleasant, I don’t want to appear anything but extremely confident.

Seeing that it’s me, Jack leans back in his chair. “Have a seat?”  He indicates to the visitor’s chair in front of his desk.  

It’s an interesting move.  He’s trying to act like he’s got the upperhand, but he doesn’t.  I have the diplomatic rank of a three-star General.  And I have no doubt that he knows that. Based on his behavior, maybe he thinks I’m a pushover.  He’s about to find out that I’m not.

I stare at him for a few minutes, letting him wonder exactly why I am here, and exactly what I plan to do.

“Your meeting, man.” Jack sneers with false bravado, but I can see in his eyes that he’s not really willing to challenge me, at least while we’re here in the White House.  Hopefully that means he’s ready to  listen.

I may as well get straight to the point. 

“I’m not trying to take your place. You’re the girls’ Father. You always will be. But I’m going to be their step-father and I love them. And I think it’s in their best interest that we try to get along.”

“Haven’t you been trying?” He inquires mockingly.

Part of me wants to get up, walk out, and then show him what it would look like if I weren’t trying to get along.  But Emily’s sad little smile comes to mind and I just can’t do it. This squirmish isn’t just about Jack and me-- and I definitely haven’t won if Emily and Gigi are hurt by the outcome.

“What does conflict with me get you?” I ask in a deceptively mild tone.  “Really?  I honestly want to know what you’re thinking here.  Do you think that if you drive a wedge between me and the girls that you’ll win Donna back?”

I pause to see if he answers, but he doesn’t say anything so I press a little harder.  “You know Donna well enough to know that it won’t work, even if you could drive me away, which I assure you won’t happen.”

Jack remains silent, just giving me a cold stare, but he doesn’t deny that I’m right. So I hit him hard.

“Do you even love your kids?” I ask bluntly.  

“How dare you?”  He hisses.  “You may out rank me, but you have no right to attack my honor.  Of course, I love my girls.”

“Good. It’s time to prove it.  Put their needs first for a change.”

When I stand up, Jack rises as well, unwilling to let me tower over him.

“Donna and the girls are coming to the Turkey Pardoning tomorrow. We love to have you join us.  It can be a whole family affair.”

“I’ll check my schedule.” He bites out, still unwilling to concede. That’s fine. I’ve made my point.  We’ll just have to see how this plays out.

. . . . 

On the way back to my office I run into Nancy McNally.  She gives me a large, perhaps sardonic, smile.

“So, you’re engaged to Jack Reese’s ex-wife? Small world.”

“It sure is.” I agree pleasantly. I have no desire to air any dirty laundry.  At least not yet.

“Well, I’m glad he got the TDY assignment. It’s great that he gets to spend some time with his kids before my regular aide returns from family leave in February.”

“Absolutely.” I agree, not letting my face show that Nancy has just revealed new information that drastically changes how I view this entire situation.

. . . . . . 

Once the girls are asleep, Donna and I head to the living room.

“You want a beer?” Donna asks as she starts toward the kitchen.

“No, actually, I need to talk to you about something.”

At my serious tone, she freezes and walks back toward me.  “Okay.”

“It’s about Jack.”

She sighs. And I fight back a smirk. When she has reactions like that to him, I’m really not worried at all that he’d have any chance of winning her back, even if I wasn’t around. 

Once we’re snuggled together on the couch I wish we could just stay like this and enjoy each other’s company without needing to ever even mention Jack’s name. I’ll be glad when he’s gone. But Donna starts the conversation.

“Alright, let me have it.  What did he do now?” 

“Did you know that he’s TDY? This is just a temporary staffing assignment.”

“What?!?” She hisses, sitting up to face me, clearly it’s news to her too.

“I got it straight from Nancy McNally. Her permanent military aide is on family leave. He’s back in February.”

“That little shit. He let me think this was a regular tour.” Donna huffs, “he sat there at our table and let us think that we needed a visitation schedule.  He knew that if I knew it was only for 3 months I’d want him to spend a lot more time with the girls while he was here.”

“I don’t know. Emily said he mentioned that if I wasn’t here then he could live here and see them all the time.”

“Of course.”  Donna bites out,  “that’s why he hasn’t found his own place, and that’s why he didn’t tell me he was coming! If he told me in advance then he couldn’t claim that it was last minute.  He probably planned on hitting me up to stay here.  It would be just like him to want to try to play house for a few months.  All the benefits, none of the work.”

Oh. Maybe I shouldn’t be so confident that he couldn’t win her back without me around.  That was quite a plan.

Donna sees the look on my face and soothes me with a kiss. “It wouldn’t have worked, Josh. I’m 100% completely over him and I have been for a long, long time.  I’ve let him stay here for a few days at a time when he’s been on leave, but he slept on the couch. Even if you weren’t in the picture there is no way we’d get back together and if Jack thinks otherwise, he’s delusional.” 

“So what does this mean for the girls?” I ask her. “How are they going to react to this news?”

“They’ll be okay Josh.  They don’t even really remember what it was like when we all lived together for any length of time.  And they’ve never had a normal visitation schedule where they go back and forth between houses.  I guess in a way it’s good that Jack just stayed at a hotel, so it didn’t start to feel like a permanent thing.”

“You think he was thinking about them?”

“No. I think he was thinking about himself. I really do think he would have ended up trying to stay here.  Once he knew that wasn’t a possibility he probably decided that a long term hotel was better for him than spending time on trying to sublease an apartment. He doesn't care that a hotel room makes it harder for him to spend quality time with the girls.”

“So what do we do now?”

“Now that we know it’s temporary we can break it to the girls gently.  They’ll be sad, but it will be easier for them to know what’s coming.”

Chapter Text

“It’s really coming down out there.” Josh stomps his shoes on the doormat and dusts the snowflakes out of his hair as he shrugs out of his coat and hangs it on the hook. 

Emily and Gigi both bolt over to greet him, and he leans down to say hello, giving each of them a quick kiss on the top of the head. 

The girls are both talking a mile a minute, filling him in on their days. Gigi is practically crawling up the side of him until he hoists her up onto his hip. She’s immediately content, throwing her arms around his neck with a little smile. 

“Hi.” He tells me softly, leaning in to kiss me. The moment feels gentle even in the chaos. 

“Hi yourself.” I give him a smile, pleased to see him. “You’re home early.”

“It was kind of a slow evening.” He shrugs. “The weather’s getting pretty bad so I sent my staff home and CJ called a full lid.”

“Well we’re glad to see you,” I assure. 

“Josh!” Emily begs for his attention. “I get to stay home from school tomorrow.”

“Your first snow day.” Josh grins. “You better make the most of it.”

“Uh huh.” Emily nods seriously. “I’m going to make a snowman. AND drink hot chocolate. Mommy said we could.”

“Well that sounds pretty special.” He reaches out to smooth her hair. 

I’m about to ask him what sounds good for dinner when the lights flicker and go out. 

“What happened?” Emily asks meekly. 

“It’s probably just ice on the lines,” he responds, mostly telling me before adding, “it’s okay. Nothing to worry about.”

I reach into the junk drawer and pull out a flashlight, clicking it on to see both of the girls clinging to Josh. 

“Let’s go see if the whole block is out,” Josh suggests as if it’s a game. 

We make our way through the living room, both of us banging our shins against discarded toys and furniture that’s been bumped out of place as Emily tries to shine a light for us. The entire block, and most of the area, is in fact out. 

“What do you want to do?” He asks me. 

I shrug. “What can we do? The power is out.”

Josh puts Gigi down and asks the girls to go get their match game cards, which sends them running to the other side of the room with the flashlight.

“It’s only going to get worse,” he tells me. “It’ll be a full blown blizzard in the next few hours. High winds and temperatures that will drop below zero. The roads aren’t that bad yet though. If we leave now, we can make it to my place in Georgetown. It might still have power. And even if it doesn’t, there’s a fireplace.”

I glance outside, and watch the snow swirl in the gusting wind. 

“I don’t know. Maybe it’ll come back on.”

“It’s probably now or never,” he tells me. I bite my lip and contemplate the options. I look back to him and even though I can tell he’s leaving the decision up to me, he’s worried. Worried about us, about his family, and keeping us safe. 

“Let’s go,” I tell him. “I’ll pack for the girls, grab what you need from our room, and maybe something that doesn’t have to be cooked if you can find it in the pantry.”

I quickly pack a bag for the three of us, hoping we don’t regret this. The option to go to Josh’s and be near a fireplace, though, seems like the best route to go with the windchill dipping below zero overnight. 

When I make my way back down the stairs Josh has my canvas totes out and filled up. There’s snacks in one, toys in another, and two small backpacks with books and crayons and stuffed animals sitting by the door. He’s helping the girls into their coats and boots. 

I join him, pulling hats and mittens on to the girls, and he starts the car, loading our bags into the trunk and then helping the girls down the sidewalk. I lock up and join him, glad the heater is already running when I climb into the passenger seat. 

“Mrs. Landingham picked a good time to visit her sister in Phoenix,” I remark as Josh puts the car into drive. 

Once he navigates out of our neighborhood the roads are slightly better, though the plows are barely keeping up. The city will be shut down in an hour or so. 

The power is on in Georgetown, which is a relief, but I’m not sure it’ll stay on. Josh pulls into a spot in front of Safeway but doesn’t turn the car off. 

“Stay here,” he tells me. “I’ll be right back.”

He’s only gone a few minutes, but he’s carrying several fully loaded grocery bags when he returns, quickly piling them into the trunk and joining us in the car. We creep along to his brownstone, rarely passing another vehicle. If we would have waited much longer we wouldn’t have made it. Josh lets us out at the door, running all of our bags into the foyer of his building and handing me the keys while he ventures back out into the cold to park. 

I grab what I can and lead the girls into his apartment, placing the bags in the kitchen and instructing the girls to take off their backpacks and sit down on the bench in Josh’s entryway. I don’t want them to track snow everywhere, and I need to take their boots off. 

Only a few moments later, Josh comes through the door carrying the suitcases from the foyer which he drops unceremoniously next to his coat rack. 

“There's an empty courtyard in the back with fresh snow,” he tells the girl with a slight smile. “I think it needs a snowman.”

The girls’ eyes light up at the thought of playing in the falling snow, one of my least favorite activities. 

“Can we go outside to play?” Emily looks back and forth between us. 

“Please?” Gigi asks, bouncing around where she’s seated. 

“Alright.” I quickly cave. “But not too long. It’s freezing cold and you haven’t had dinner yet. 

My conditions are drowned out by the sound of Gigi’s giddy squeals. 

“I’ll take them.” Josh tells me with a kiss. “Why don’t you start a fire and relax.”

I can’t argue with that. 

But first there are things to do. I begin by putting all the groceries away.  It was a good thing that Josh stopped for food.  He really doesn’t have much here other than a few cans of soup and spaghetti sauce, along with boxes of pasta and a jar of peanut butter.

And I have to say, I’m pretty impressed by what he bought in such a short amount of time.  Milk, bread, cereal, instant oatmeal, protein bars, and hot chocolate mix.  The kind with mini-marshmallows, Gigi will be thrilled. 

The bag with chicken and a pack of lighters has me scratching my head until I realize that he’s got a gas stove.  So we can still cook even if the power goes out, but only if we can light the burners. 

Once the food is put away, I move on to the fire.  The problem is there’s no wood.  He must have some somewhere or he wouldn’t have suggested that I start one.

After a little bit of hunting, I’m relieved to find a big box of Duraflame Firelogs in his hall closet.  We should be able to keep a fire going for quite a while if we need to. There’s also a box with a couple flashlights, a pack of batteries and a gallon of bottled water, as well as a first aid kit.  Clearly he’s prepared for an emergency just like this.  I find it very comforting.

Even though the fire looks cozy, I just can’t sit still. I feel the need to check on everything while we still have electricity. The double bed in his spare room has fresh sheets and is relatively clean.  Probably from when his Mom was last here. After finding a couple extra blankets in the closet, I put them on the end of the bed.  The girls can sleep in here tonight unless it gets too cold, if it does we’ll just have a camp out in front of the fire.

Josh’s room is pretty tidy as well.  Probably because he’s rarely here anymore.  He’s all but moved in with me.  And while I’m really glad we have this place tonight, I wonder if we should talk about what to do with this apartment.  It really would be rather silly to pay for two mortgages.  Maybe we should sell both and get a bigger place.

Looking out the window, I can see Josh helping Gigi roll a big ball, while Emily rolls a smaller one.  All three of them are rosy-cheeked and smiling.  It makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside.

In Josh’s bathroom, I’m inspired by his giant tub, quickly adding some bubble bath and turning the hot water on full blast. The girls will probably be cold when they come back inside.  A hot bath is probably a really good idea, especially while it’s still an option. 

While it’s filling, I check the snowman’s progress.  He’s got a body now and the girls are adding some branches for arms.  I wonder if Josh has any carrots in his refrigerator? Not likely.

Still, I head back into the kitchen to check.  As I suspected, I don’t find any.  But it’s probably a good idea to start dinner.

Josh and the girls have been outside for about 20 minutes. I really doubt they’ll be much longer.

. . . . 

Once they are back inside, Josh takes over dinner, while I get the girls into the bath.  They are delighted.  It’s definitely bigger than the one they share at home, plus I think the newest of Josh’s apartment is thrilling.  

“Mama, I love this hotel!!” Gigi proclaims as she sits near the fire with her hot chocolate.

“It’s not a hotel.” Emily quickly points out.  “It’s Josh’s house, right?” She looks to Josh for confirmation.

“Nuh uh.” Gigi insists. “Josh lives with us.”

Josh and I exchange a look. This wasn’t a conversation I was planning on having tonight.

“You’re both right.” Josh declares.  “This is my apartment, from when I was sad and lonely.  But then my fairy Godmother introduced me to a beautiful Princess and her two amazing daughters and now I’m going to live happily ever after with them.”

The girls giggle, happily accepting his explanation.

. . . . 

After the girls are tucked cozily into bed, Josh and I settle back down in front of the fire.  This is really nice.

“I could get used to this.” I tell him.  “How long do you think we’ll be snowed in?”

“Probably just a day or two.”

“So they’ll probably have everything cleared by Christmas eve.”

“Yeah, I guess that means that Jack will still get the girls.” Josh agrees a little morosely.  

I know he’s a little disappointed, but we’ll have other Christmases with them.

“YEs, but you and I could stay here just the two of us, it’ll be just as nice as the Washington Inn.”

"They're going to the Washington Inn?  How does he get a room  at the Washington Inn? I can't get a room at the Washington Inn." Josh complains.  He’s adorable when his voice squeaks like that.

"His parents."  I inform him without further explanation.  Mr. and Mrs. Reese are well-off and uptight. And I’ve never really been comfortable around them.

"and they're taking the girls?"  Josh asks in disbelief.

"Yeah, four poster beds and a 1500 bottle wine cellar, every 5 year old's dream vacation."

Josh flashes a dimpled grin at my snark. “Well, maybe we’ll get another blizzard.”

Chapter Text

*Monday- 6 Days before Inauguration*

Sitting in the press briefing room, getting ready to watch POTUS practice his Inaugural address, I find myself thinking about uniforms. This morning Emily was going on and on about Jack’s dress blues which he apparently showed her last night.  All pressed and ready for him to wear to the Military Ball.  Emily said Jack looks just like Prince Charming when he wears it.  

I have to remind myself that it’s not a competition, but I felt a little like a loser when she asked what I was wearing and I had to admit it’s just a tuxedo from Gary’s.  I wonder if I can get away with adding a saber?

And it might have been just a bit competitive of me to mention to Emily that Donna and I would be going to 8 balls not just one.  But watching the way her eyes grew to the size of saucers, it was worth it. Hopefully it makes up for the fact that I will just be wearing a penguin suit.

Everyone except Toby, who is reading something and chuckling to himself, sits up a little straighter when the President stands at the podium.

“Can we pull foreign policy up on the prompter?” The President requests.

Toby responds without looking up. “144 on the prompter, please. It's going to take a second.” Then he laughs again.

“What's going on?” The President asks him.

“The Chief Justice-- wrote a dissenting opinion in Sea Northern v. Arizona , saying that an association between asbestos and a higher risk of cancer in later life was insufficient to merit relief.”

“So what?”

Toby laughs again. “He wrote a dissenting opinion in what I am almost certain is trochiac tetrometer.”

The new guy, Will, pipes up. “It is.”

Toby walks up to the podium and hands the paper to President Bartlet, who reads to the rest of us:

"Fear of cancer from asbestos, fuzzy science manifestos."

“It's a loud syllable followed by a soft syllable, which is a trochaic foot, then there's four per comma, which is tetrameter.” Toby explains

“You think he's trying to tell us something through code?” C.J asks dumbfoundedly.

Toby shrugs and then looks at the President. “144's on the prompter, sir.”

"America cannot be the world's policeman. America cannot enforce its own  values, its own standards across the world. Yet when it's in our clear and vital Interests..." The President stops reciting and looks at all of use.  “We're being candid at least.”

“This is State Department language.” Toby reminds him.

“No kidding.” The President quips. “Look, I understand I present a uniform gap, but I want to mean what I say.”

After we wrap up and are heading back to Leo’s office, the President uses the opportunity to complain to Leo directly.

“This foreign policy language is ridiculous.”

“It'll get fixed.” Leo assures him, and I suddenly know what the rest of my afternoon is going to look like.

From there the President moves on to asking about the civil unrest in the Republic of Equatorial Kundu.

Leo explains that the government forces run by the Arkutu have apparently killed as many as 200 Induye on the streets of Bitanga, which is the capitol.  I don’t know anything about this, but I have a feeling that I’m about to find out.

When I get back to my own office, my assistant tries to hand me a stack of pink messages. “Who's been on the phone?” I ask without looking through them.

“Confused people from the State Department.” She responds waving the slips.

“They decided to change the foreign policy language 20 minutes ago. How do they know already?

“They wanted to know why their Public Affairs Director was asked to meet with Will Bailey.”

“The President's asked Toby and Will to look at the language.” I tell her.

“Okay.” She turns to go return the call.

“Wait. Keep the President out of it. I've asked Toby and Will to look at the language.”

. . . . 

Leo looks tense when he comes through the doorway connecting his office to the Oval.  "This thing with Kundu is getting really bad." He tells me as he walks over to his desk and sits behind it.  He picks up a piece of paper and reads off it before looking back up at me.

“Bobby Slattery says there’s as many as 5,000 dead.  The President just ordered a Force Depletion Report.  He doesn’t want to go three rounds in the Post with Hutchinson, so he wants it kept quiet.  Bobby recommended Jack Reese.  You got a problem with that?”

“No, of course not.”

“You trust him?”

“For military stuff? Yeah.”

“Alright then.”

. . . . . 

I’m back in the office early on Tuesday, trying to monitor Kundu and work through the State Department issues, while also keeping my eye on what the Republicans want to do to our tax revenue, and an ear to the ground on Sam’s campaign.

Still, I take a quick break to watch CJ’s afternoon press briefing.  Danny is out for blood.

“Archbishop Kintaka, who was coincidentally in the White House yesterday for a prayer breakfast, said the government's using the radio to direct mobs. Does the White House know anything about that?” 

“Well, I don't.” CJ admits.

“Apparently, one of the Bishop's had provided refuge to about 800 Induye in his church. When the radio station in Bitanga heard about it, they directed a mob. They had machetes, they sent them to the church. . . . They hacked up all 800.”

CJ looks sick. “No, I didn't know that.”

“Every broadcast ends with the word "Krawala." Danny tells her.

“It means "cleanse." CJ acknowledges.

“Yeah.” Danny agrees lightly,  “So I guess my question is, is the President going to send U.S. troops in to knock this off?”

But CJ doesn’t know that Jack is working on a Force Depletion Report at this very minute, so all she can say is “The White House is monitoring the situation very carefully.”

“I can tell.” Danny snarks.

CJ moves away from him, calling on Katie.  But Katie asks what the current death toll estimate is, and CJ has to admit it’s risen to 15,000.

. . . . 

Wednesday, Leo grabs me on his way back from the situation room and hands me a document.

“The Force Depletion Report.” He says, as I start to look at it.  “And the thing is, Hutchinson now knows that we know, and he knows how we got it, so get up to speed, this could get rocky.”

After Leo leaves, Charlie makes his way in, to alternate complaining about the Biblical quest he’s been on  and the fact that Zoey is apparently dating French Royalty.  Once he’s gone, C.J. drops off her nits on the latest version of the Inaugural Speech and gives me an earful about the beating that she’s taking in the Press Room.

At the end of the day I’m sprawled on Toby’s couch, giving him the latest round of notes.  The new guy is about to lose his mind when I get an unexpected text from Donna.

“It’s Jack’s night with the girls.  Can we grab the gang and go to Iota?  Jill Sobule is playing and it should be good.”

Chapter Text

We’re barely settled into our seats when CJ starts in on Toby. I don’t think I’ve seen her like this before.  Normally when we all hang out on my stoop she’s light-hearted and fun, and quite frankly, seems to have a thing for Toby.

“The guy across the street is beating up a pregnant woman. You don't go over and try to stop it?”

“Guy across the street is beating up anybody, I like to think I go over and try to stop it,” Toby retorts, “but we're not talking about the President going to Asia or the President going to Rwanda or the President going to Qumar. We're talking about the President sending other people's kids to do that.”

“That's always what we're talking about,” CJ shoots back, “and in addition to being somebody's kids, they're soldiers and sailors, and if we're about freedom from tyranny, then we're about freedom from tyranny, and if we're not, we should shut up.”

“Yes.” Josh agrees.

Toby gives him a bit of a glare. “Back at the office, you were telling Will…”

“He said that to Will 'cause that's what we say.” CJ defends Josh.

“You weren't even there.” Toby points out.

“It's what we always say.”

“On Sunday, he's taking an oath to ensure domestic tranquility.” Toby offers.

“And to establish justice and promote the general welfare. Stand by while atrocities are taking place, and you're an accomplice.” 

I’m not quite sure who CJ is accusing of being an accomplice. Maybe Toby. Maybe the President. Maybe all of us-- the Country as a whole.

“I'm not indifferent to that, but knuckleheaded self-destruction is never going to burn itself out, you really want to send your kids across the street into the fire?” Toby inquires.

“Want to?” CJ parrots. “No. Should I? Yes.”

“Why?” Toby wants to know. “And don't give me a lefty answer.”

“A lefty answer is all I've got.”

“Why are you sending your kids across the street?” Toby insists.  That’s when I jump in.

“‘Cause those are somebody’s kids, too.”  I point out.  He just raises her eyebrows so I really let him have it.

“You think we don’t think about it every time there’s military action? That we don’t wonder if we’re going to end up getting a visit from an official to tell us we’ve just become a gold star family?  Being military isn’t easy. It’s a choice that there’s a greater good being served, and with the full knowledge that we might end up paying the ultimate price to give someone else a better life.”

Everyone is silent for a minute.  Josh looks at me in wonder and pride.  Then Toby raises his glass.  “To the military.”

“And their families.” Josh inserts.

After that we all settle down and enjoy the music.  Jill Souble really is phenomenal, but less than thirty minutes into the set, I get a text from Jack.

YOUR POS BOYFRIEND JUST RUINED MY CAREER. I’VE GOT ORDERS TO AVIANO. COME GET THE KIDS.

My heart leaps to my throat. I don’t know what the hell happened, but I don’t want to leave the girls with Jack if he’s upset.  And I can see why he’d be upset.  This gig at the White House was supposed to give his career a boost.  Aviano is a dead end for a Navy guy.

“Josh, we have to go.” I tell him standing up.

“What’s wrong?” He asks, getting to his feet.  “Are the girls okay?”

“It’s not them. It’s Jack.” 

. . . . 

“Aviano!” Jack seethes at Josh, the minute we walk through the door, “do you have ANY idea what you’ve done?”

“Where are the girls, Jack?” I ask looking around the room.

He dismisses my question, waving toward the small bedroom.  “They’re in there watching a movie.”   Then he rounds on Josh again.

“You said we should get along for the girls sake and then you stab me in the back. You son of a bitch.”

“Hey!” Josh protests, “I have no idea what you are talking about. I didn’t have anything to do with this.”

“You know what I was asked to do.” It’s a statement, not really a question.

“Yes.” Josh confirms.

“Then you know who asked me to do it.”

“Yes.”

“And now I’m being shipped off to fucking Aviano Air Force Base.”

“You can't begin to conceive of the internal politics of the Pentagon. Right now, Hutchinson and his boys . . .”

“Damn politicians. I worked at the White House .” Jack hisses. “Everyone's very loyal to everyone else, unless you wear a uniform.”

Josh doesn’t respond to that and Jack’s anger seems to burn itself out. “Is there anything you can do?” He sounds desperate.

“I honestly don’t know.” Josh admits.  “But I’ll make sure that Leo McGarry knows what happened.  And I’ll make sure that he doesn’t forget that you’re there.”

. . . . .

Emily is quiet on our way to the Inauguration Ceremony.  The goodbyes with Jack this morning were rough. Not as rough as they would have been if his leaving had been a complete surprise, but still.  

Even though she’s only five, she knows something is not quite right.  She knows that Jack was supposed to attend the Inauguration with us.  That he was supposed to wear his fancy uniform and go to the ball.  Instead, he’s literally getting on a plane and we’ll be watching from a family box without him. At least Grandma is here now to smooth things over.

But once we’re in our places, the pageantry of the event quickly distracts them.  Gigi is especially excited by all the flags and balloons. And that there is a parade after the ceremony. Once Emily spots Josh and Mrs. Landingham on the dias, she gets into the spirit of things as well.  Kids are resilient. I know they’ll be okay.

"America needs a new doctrine for a new century based not just on our interest, but on our values, across the world.  We’re for freedom of speech everywhere. We're for freedom to worship everywhere. We're for freedom to learn... for everybody."

Even if the girls are a little antsy, I’m captivated by the President’s speech. The Foreign Policy section especially resonates with me. It’s hard to believe that it was just two nights ago that I was talking to senior staff about this.  Then after the blow up with Jack, Josh got paged back into work and I barely saw him for the next 24 hours while they hammered out a whole new foreign policy. This one makes me proud to be an American.

Josh catches up to us when the ceremony is over, and we manage to watch some of the parade all together before he has to go back to work. This situation in Kundu is horrible and I’m glad our country is finally taking action, even though it means less time with Josh right now. 

I don’t mind making some sacrifices.  Josh’s career is important.  He’s helping to change the world.  But he also makes sure that I know that he values me and my career. And I know that when it comes down to it, the girls and I are a higher priority to him than his job. And knowing that makes all the difference.

. . . . . 

At 7pm I’m sitting on the couch, my hair in curls, wearing a blue ball gown.  Josh had to go back to his place after work to put his tux on, but he should be here any minute.

Emily and Gigi are wearing their tiaras and tutus, playing some elaborate make-believe story with Grandma, when the first snowball hits the window causing all of us to jump. 

“What was that?” My Mom exclaims just as the second snowball lands against the glass.  We all rush to see what’s going on.

Spotting Josh down on the street making a fool of himself, I open the window just as he lets loose.  I barely shift out of the way in time and the snowball flys through and slides across the floor.  The girls start to giggle wildly as they race to pick it up.

Josh just grins at me unapologetically.  His smile gets even bigger as the girls appear at the window and Emily throws the snowball back at him.  Of course, that just motivates him to throw another one.

“What a dork.” I mutter to my Mother as I step away from the window.

“I don’t know.” She answers, gesturing to the girls standing at the window laughing and cheering him on. “I rather think that looks like Prince Charming to me.”

Realizing she’s right, I don’t want to wait another minute.  She grins as I bolt out of the room.

Josh stops throwing snowballs at the girls when I open the front door and come down the steps.

“You come out here without a coat on?”  He mutters in concern as he immediately takes off his coat and places it around my shoulders. Then he studies me for a moment.

“You look amazing.” He utters with such passion it fills me with warmth and leaves me speechless.

“We’re going to a ball.” He offers playfully, while I’m still silent.

“Balls are fun.” I quip back, finally regaining my sense of speech.

“Actually, eight of them.”

“Eight times the fun.”

He turns and sticks his elbow towards me, offering me his arm in a slightly old-fashioned, elegant manner. He's got the goofiest grin on his face, and it fills me with such joy, that I'm again momentarily just stunned by the enormity of it.  But then I grab a hold, linking my arm through his.  It feels so right.  I've got a new partner in life. We wave goodbye to the girls and I let my Prince Charming take me to the ball.

Chapter Text

*6 months later*

Standing with Sam in front of all our friends, waiting for my girls, I’m strangely calm.  I thought I’d be incredibly nervous.  And I was earlier.  But all that has disappeared now that we are actually in the moment.

Everything is perfect.  The Library of Congress is the perfect venue.  Grand stone columns, majestic frescos, and stained glass windows. It rivals any church in the District in terms of opulence.  There’s even a gorgeous set of windows in the ceiling directly over the chuppah to my mother’s delight.  Donna really thought of everything.

A string quartet plays softly on the mezzanine above us while we wait.

Then the music changes and Gigi and Emily make their way up the aisle towards me, scattering rose petals from little satin baskets. They look absolutely adorable in their poofy dresses with blue sashes; their hair in ringlets. They are proudly wearing their gold lockets which now carry a photo of Jack on one side and our family engagement photo on the other.

When they get to the front, they are supposed to go stand on the other side of the canopy near Donna’s sister-in-law and CJ. Emily starts in that direction, but Gigi takes her hand and tugs Emily towards me instead. 

Emily shakes her head and points toward Francesca, but Gigi shakes her head even more vehemently and continues pulling Emily in my direction.  Emily’s face turns a little pink as she hears the soft chuckles from the audience, then she acquiesces to her sister’s demand and the two of them end up right by my side.  Emily takes my hand, but Gigi holds up her arms.

At four, she’s quickly morphing from a toddler to a child so there’s no way I’d turn down this opportunity and I scoop her up before she changes her mind.  Our little demonstration earns a sigh of appreciation from the crowd.

Then the bridal march begins and everyone turns and watches as Donna glides down the grand stone staircase, and up the aisle.  My heart beats faster and faster with each step that she takes.  Her radiance takes my breath away. I wanted to be surprised by her dress but I can barely see it through the tears in my eyes.  I try to blink them back because I want to be able to remember every detail about this day for the rest of my life.

But it goes by in a haze of happiness. Her smile as she reaches me drives every other thought from my mind, except the sheer joy I feel as the officiant declares that she is my wife and that this is my family.

*20 years later*

I’m pacing nervously in front of the double doors, waiting for my angel. We practiced this last night, but I still want it to be perfect. Watching Gigi gliding down the aisle on her little brother’s arm didn’t help.  Twenty-four and eighteen. How did they get so big?

I feel a gentle touch on my back and when I turn, Emily is standing there, a vision in white, smiling brightly at me.

“Hey Pop.”

I can’t help but grin at the name. Even after all these years it still warms my heart just to hear it. I don’t know if Donna planned the whole thing or not, but having Noah call me “Papa” led to the girls turning it into “Pop” and all of a sudden, I had my own Dad-name without stepping on anyone else’s toes.

“Oh honey, you look beautiful.” I tell her, placing a kiss on her hand where I won’t mess up any make-up. As I do I’m delighted to see the cherished gold locket peeking out of her bouquet.

“Thank you.” She responds politely, even as she looks around just a bit anxiously.

“Your Dad just went to the bathroom.  He’ll be right back.”  I reassure her, as I always do when it comes to Jack’s behavior.

She smiles softly at me and I see the incredible young woman she’s become.  Then she pulls me into an embrace and whispers softly in my ear.  “My Dad is right here, just like he’s always been.  But I’m glad that Jack is here to walk me down the aisle with you.”

Jack rejoins us with perfect timing, since I’m all choked up and can’t speak. And as I walk my oldest daughter down the aisle toward her future, I think fondly of Mrs. Landingham and thank my lucky stars that I agreed to that blind date with the Librarian.

Chapter Text

We’re in the car at 4am stopped at a red light. Josh’s face is tense as he looks both ways. 

“Maybe I should just go?” He mutters to himself. 

“No, we’re still okay.” I insist even as another contraction hits me. He takes my hand and helps me breathe through it. 

“Promise me, Josh.” I remind him as I try to pant the way that the Lamaze Coach taught us.

“I promise.” He quickly agrees grimacing as I moan a little. That doesn’t bode well at all. It’s pretty clear that he’d agree to anything I want right now.

 “I’m serious, Josh. I need you to be strong right now.” 

“I know, I know. Anything you want.” He agrees as the light turns green and he pulls forward. 

“No. NO. Not anything. Remember if the baby is a boy, I really want to name him Noah, after your Dad. Don’t let me do something crazy.” 

“But . . . “ 

“No buts, Josh!”

“I love Giovanna’s name.” He finishes quietly, giving me a small smile. “What if you’re inspired?”

“That’s what middle names are for. Now, promise!” I demand again, the last word coming out more like a low moan.  Damn, I forgot how much this hurts.

Josh presses the gas pedal a little harder, a look of grim determination on his face. “I promise.” He agrees for the fifth or sixth time, his brow creasing as I squeeze his hand tightly through another spasm and try not to hyperventilate. 

By the time we arrive at the hospital, the contractions are two minutes apart and I’m raced directly to the Labor & Delivery room. 

“You just gotta love the speediness of third children.” The nurse quips as she zips me through the hall with Josh hot on her heels.

Less than fifteen minutes later, my feet are up and Josh and the nurse are urging me to push, right as the OB arrives gowned up and ready to go.

"Well, looks like we're having a baby." He jokes, as I feel a ring of fire in my nether regions. "Here comes the head."

Thankfully it’s just a few seconds after that there’s a lusty bellow and Dr. Phillips declares, “It’s a boy!” 

The nurse hustles the baby over to the bassinet and starts cleaning him while Josh follows her over to watch over him. The doctor and I finish the rest of the process, and I swear to God that the numbing shot before the stitches is almost worse than the delivery itself.  This is definitely my last baby.  And I really want to see him.

Then, finally, the nurse is putting my son in my arms. 

“So what’s his name?” She inquires. 

“Noah.”  Josh answers.

“Michelangelo.” I assert at the same time causing the nurse to burst out into laughter.

“Sounds like the two of you need to have a discussion.  Should be an interesting one.” 

“No.” Josh responds confidently, “We’ve already talked about. Right, honey?” 

He looks at me for confirmation, but the look in his eyes is resolute.  I know I can count on him to support me and give me exactly what I want.  

“His name is Noah Michelangelo Lyman.” Josh boasts as I nod my agreement.

“Well that sounds perfect.”  The nurse offers.

She’s right.  It is.

Chapter Text

Sunday Brunch is one of my favorite times of the week– because we’re all together.  Sure, we try to have dinner together during the week too, but it’s generally a rushed affair and not uncommon for someone to be missing, what with swim practice, cheerleading, debate club, model UN and karate, it seems like at least one kid has something that overlaps with dinner time most days.  And of course it feels like Donna and I are running a taxi service. Not that we mind. Donna’s mini-van even proudly bears a “Mom’s taxi” sticker in the back window on the opposite side of her stick figure family.

And I have to admit, every time I pull into the driveway and open the garage door and see the back of her car with those stickers on them, my heart swells a little.  Ten years ago my life had a plot twist I didn’t see coming and I’m grateful for it every day.  

But especially on days when we’re all together.

The other great thing about Sundays is that we don’t count carbs.  Gigi is manning the waffle maker, turning out funfetti waffles much to Noah’s delight.  Of course, Donna is making some scrambled eggs to go with them, and Emily is diligently cutting up fruit.  Because between the two of them, they’re going to make sure we’ll still end up eating something healthy.

While Noah slathers his waffle in whipping cream, I take another long drink of coffee and watch my family.  I love them all so much.  But my eyes keep coming back to Emily.  Something’s not right.

There’s a little furrow between her brow and a tightness around her eyes.  Something’s stressing her out.

One thing I’ve learned in ten years of parenting is that every kid is different.  And when it comes to Emily, she needs time and space to work things out, but not so much that she gets buried in her thoughts.  I’ll give her the day, but if she hasn’t sorted herself out by bedtime, we’ll have a heart to heart.  Emily and I have resolved a lot of her worries in between chapters of a book, with her tucked snugly into bed and me sitting beside her.  Sixteen isn’t too old for story time, is it?

Turns out, I don’t have to wait that long. After the dishes are done and everyone has drifted off to do their own thing, Emily slips into my office and sits on the couch against the wall. 

“Hey Pop.”

“Hey Sweetie, what’s up?”

“It’s not too late to cancel, is it?”

That’s when it hits me.  I know exactly what’s bothering her.  She’s starting driver’s training class tomorrow and she doesn’t know what to expect.

“It’s not too late, but do you really want to do that?”  I ask her gently.  Her response is typical Emily, as she wordlessly shrugs her shoulders while wringing her hands together.

“I have an idea.  Before you decide whether or not to cancel the class, why don’t we go up to the high school parking lot? I’ll show you the basics so you feel prepared.”

Her shoulders relax and her hands still.  “Yeah.  I think that’s a good idea.”

“Great, go get your shoes on. No time like the present.”

Emily darts out the door, which I take as a good sign.  I think she really does want to learn to drive.  It’s just the unknown that makes her anxious.

I take a moment to save the document I was working on before making my way to the kitchen. I’m surprised to find Donna and Noah sitting at the table but no Emily.

“She’s already in your car.” Donna laughs.  Another sign that she really wants to do this.  That’s good.

“Emily said you’re going to teach her how to drive!” Noah declares.  “Can I come?  I want to learn too.”

“Not yet, bud.”  Donna quickly answers. “You’re not quite old enough.  Plus, you’ve got to finish these spelling words.”

Noah’s lip pops out for a half a second in a perfect imitation of Donna, but then he shrugs and gets back to work, so I ruffle his hair and place a kiss on the top of his head as I pass him.

“Good luck.” Donna calls out after me with a cheesy grin.

Emily’s eyes are bright but serious as I climb into the driver’s seat and look over at her.

“First thing, seat belts on.”

She grins and pulls out the shoulder strap to show me she’s already wearing it.  Of course she is– our little rule-follower.

“I know, but when you’re the driver it’s your job to make sure that everyone in the car is wearing it.  Don’t even start the car until they comply.”

“Okay, Pop.”  She agrees.

“Okay, once you’ve adjusted your seat and checked all the mirrors, you’re going to watch over your shoulder as you back out.  They probably won’t have you backing up the first day, so don’t worry about it, just watch what I’m doing. And remember, we are not in a hurry so we’ll take it slow and easy and make sure there are no cars coming.”

Emily watches intently as I ease our way down the driveway. Then as I shift the car into drive I realize I didn’t tell her how to do that.

“Okay, so you see this lever here?”

She nods as I point to the gear shift between us.  “So P for Park, R for Reverse, N for Neutral, D for Drive, that’s forward.”

“What’s the S for?” She wonders out loud.

“That’s for Sport mode. It makes the transmission shift more aggressively and hold gears longer so you take advantage of the full power band without making you shift yourself like a manual mode would.”  The Audi Dealer  told me “S  is for fun'' when I bought the car.

Emily nods seriously.  I’m sure she has no idea what I’m talking about but she’s always preferred being talked to like an adult. Then I feel a slight pang as I realize, she basically is an adult. I’m teaching her how to drive.  It won’t be long before she’s out in the world on her own.  I have to swallow hard to fight back a bit of anxiety of my own.

“It’s advanced driving.” I reassure her. “You don’t need to understand it yet.”

She lets out a little breath and smiles at me.

“Okay, why am I stopping here?” I ask her, continuing the lesson as I pull up to an intersection in the subdivision.

“Because you have a stop sign.”

“That’s right.  Does anyone else have one?”

She looks to the right and left at the road perpendicular to us.  “No, just us.”

“That’s right.  Maple is a through street.  They have the right of way and don’t have to stop for us.  So after we come to a complete stop we have to look both ways.”

I make a big show of looking in both directions, and I see Emily taking a second look, imitating me.  “Then if there are no cars coming, we can go.”

I’ve almost completed my turn when Emily giggles, reminding me of when she was six. 

 “You didn’t use your blinker.” She observes, humorously.

Shit.  Donna’s always on me about that.  “Let’s not tell your Mom, okay?”

“Okay.” She quickly agrees. She’s a rule follower but she’s also always been a very good co-conspirator.

I’m extra careful to use my blinker for the remaining couple of turns, and a few minutes later, we’re in the High School parking lot.  This should be a really good place for Emily to practice since the parking lot is connected to both a middle school and a district facilities building.  It’s like having actual roads to practice on with stops, yields, and even a small round-about.

I drive a couple circuits around the parking lot, with a running commentary describing the process in great detail to Emily, then after a few minutes I pull into a parking space and turn the car off.

“Okay.  Your turn.” I inform her as I unbuckle my seat belt.  Emily’s eyes widen a bit but she nods in agreement then unbuckles her seat belt as well. By the time I’ve made it around to her side of the car, she’s climbing out.  I take the opportunity to pull her into a quick hug.

“You can do this.  You’re smart.  You’re observant.  And we’ll practice as much as you need.” I whisper into her ear as I squeeze her tight.

When I let go she gives me a bright smile and skips over to the driver’s side.   She starts out timidly, but after a few turns around the parking lot at a snail’s pace, she starts to get the hang of it.  I have no doubt she’ll be one of the top students in her class.

**********

When Gigi runs out of the DMV, long blonde hair blowing behind her, grinning, and waving a piece of paper my heart skips a beat.  It seems like it was just yesterday that Emily got her Driver’s permit, and now it’s her sister’s turn.

Gigi gives me a mega-watt smile as she opens the car door and slides behind the wheel.

“Mom said I could drive home!” She shouts as she pulls her trademark sunglasses out of her purse and puts them on.

As Donna climbs in the back seat, Gigi starts the car then turns the radio from NPR to a pop station.

“I’m so excited!” She squeals as she pulls out of the parking space.  “And guess what, Pop?” She continues, “I got 100% on the written test! I can’t wait to tell Emily!”

Gigi zips through the parking lot to the exit, then after a quick glance to her left turns right and quickly accelerates as I grip the door handle.

“Ooh! I love this song!” She announces just before singing along at top volume.

I hear Donna gasp, and I’m just about to say something about how quickly we are approaching a red light, when Gigi brings us to a jarring stop.

“Oopsie!” She giggles, glancing over at me.

 Luckily there’s no one behind us, and she’s left enough space between us and the car in front of us, but my heart is hammering away.

I reach over and turn the radio off.  “Let’s focus on the driving for now.  Once you’ve got a little more experience we can do the karaoke thing, okay?”

“Sure, thing, Pop!” She agrees, her effervescence undiminished.  I sure do love her spirit, but I think we’ll make a trip to the high school parking lot for some driving practice.

*********

“Noah Michelangelo Lyman! FOR GOD’S SAKE! Please slow down!” I beg my youngest child as we careen around the roundabout at the high school parking lot.

“Come on, Pop! There’s no one else here.”  He grins at me, blue eyes twinkling as he shifts gears, with an expertise that astonishes me.  After the stress of teaching Emily and Gigi to drive, I should be glad that Noah seems to be a natural, but really, it’s a little unnerving.

“How’d you learn to do that?”  I question him.  “Have you been sneaking the car out at night?”

He laughs at me, much like his mother often does.  “No!  But I’ve watched about a million you tube videos and I’ve played a lot of Grand Theft Auto.”

“Outstanding.” My sarcasm is rewarded by a quick grin and flash of his dimples, proof that despite the blonde hair and blue eyes, he’s mine.

But then he channels Donna by pulling into a no parking zone.  “So, whattayasay? Can I take it on the street?”  He pleads, giving me the puppy dog eyes that he learned from his sisters.

He knows full well how hard it is for me to say no to them.  And really, there’s no reason to.  He’s already an excellent driver, best in his class, or I wouldn’t have even contemplated teaching him how to drive a stick shift at this age.  Not that I really had much to teach him after the internet.

“Okay, but let’s try not to emulate Fast and Furious.”

“Sure thing, I’ll keep it to Driving Miss Daisy.”  He banters back.

All I can do is shake my head, this kid sure does keep me on my toes. As he carefully makes his way towards the exit, I can’t help but study his profile.  He’s so like Donna and his sisters, with bits of me, but  somehow he’s still completely himself.  One of a kind.

I try not to think about the fact that this is the last kid I’ll get to teach to drive, or the other milestones that are quickly approaching.  I just want to savor the moment while it lasts.