Chapter Text
“Hey, man, this sounds a bit weird, but…”
Those words were the crack that started to tear apart his world.
“You know Bakugou well, right? I mean you two grew up together, and you call him ‘Kacchan’ and everything- gah this is kind of stupid, sorry…”
Freezing, fear coursed through the veins of Midoriya Izuku, a second year student at UA Hero High, and the childhood friend to spitfire Bakugou Katsuki. Asking Midoriya if he ‘knew Bakugou well’ was, indeed, a very stupid question. He practically knew everything Bakugou- from his diet to his workout to his way of strategizing to… well, let’s just say Midoriya had a borderline creepy fascination with his childhood friend… he also happened to have a major crush on him.
“Of course I know Kacchan well! Like you said, we grew up together-” Midoriya smiled, hoping that the boy in front of him couldn’t see how nervous he was, “Why? Is something up?”
“Can I come in?” pleading ruby eyes struck Midoriya like lightning as it suddenly became clear that the boy in the doorway wasn’t the only anxious one.
“Yeah, by all means,” he stepped back, allowing his friend in before shutting the door behind them, “You can sit on the bed if you want.” Despite his friendly attitude, Midoriya could feel his palms clam up as he turned around.
Red hair in a low ponytail, broad shoulders slumped, and pointed teeth chewing on his lip, the other student looked back at his friend, “IthinkIhaveacrushonBakugou-” he said all in one breath, quickly averting his eyes.
Midoriya felt like his bones had been crushed… well, again, since that seemed to be a recurring fate in his life, “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear that…” he lied, “What did you say Kirishima?”
Kirishima Eijirou, Bakugou’s best friend and one of the first people he ever acknowledged as an equal. If anyone had a chance at winning the blond over, it was Kirishima- or Uraraka Ochako, who nearly beat him in the Sports Festival, but Midoriya didn’t really see Bakugou having any interest in girls.
“I said…” the redhead took a breath, steeling himself, “I think I have a crush on Bakugou.”
Well shit. Midoriya couldn’t move. He recognized the feeling almost immediately- although not quite in the sense that he was feeling in that moment. It was helplessness. He screamed at his body to move, to say something, to do something, but he couldn’t move. He knew that he needed to anything, to reassure his friend, to tell him that it was okay…
Midoriya needed to tell him the truth. He needed to say something to console Kirishima. Of course, if anyone was getting through to Bakugou, it would be the redhead. He was an important piece in Bakugou’s road of growth- showing him that he had true friends, letting him know that he wasn’t alone like he had been in middle school. Kirishima was willing to go so far to help him in Kamino, and, even though Midoriya would have loved to reach out to Bakugou, he figured that it wouldn’t have helped…
Even if he had grabbed someone else’s hand, he wouldn’t have accepted it- but maybe Midoriya was just projecting his own inadequacy onto the situation. Bakugou wasn’t stupid enough to stay in an active battlefield, outnumbered by villains who could kill him; he was prideful, but he wasn’t a dumbass. Despite all of the nightmares that incident gave him, there was probably a logical reason why Bakugou reached out to Kirishima in Kamino, but not Midoriya when they were in the forest. There was probably something the blond saw that he didn’t. Or maybe it was because he was already broken, and Kirishima was perfectly fine. Or the fact that Bakugou had gotten himself out of the incident in Kamino and was able to accept help because of it. Or-
“I’m sorry-” Kirishima stood up, interrupting Midoriya’s train of thought, “That was a weird thing to say. Just- just forget it. I didn’t mean to gross you out. I just-” The hurt on Kirishima’s face was enough to sucker punch Midoriya in the gut.
“No, no, no, it’s not that! I do, too!” he froze for a second, locking eyes with Kirishima before waving his hands frantically, “I mean I like guys too! It’s not gross at all!” Midoriya paused, hoping that his friend bought the display and he didn’t out his own crush on Bakugou.
Thankfully, Kirishima looked relieved before he spoke up again, “So, you’re gay, too?”
“No? Not really? I mean I still like girls, but I like guys, too… It’s kind of weird…”
“Oh. I think I’ve heard a term for that before…”
“You have?”
“Yeah, I think it’s… bi? Sexual? Bisexual? You like both girls and guys.”
“Huh. I’ve never heard of that. I always assumed I was just weird.”
“It’s not a really common term here, but I’ve seen it on online forums and stuff.”
“That’s cool! Thank you, Kirishima!” Midoriya beamed, for once that night, in a genuine smile before it faded and the situation dawned on him. “So you like Kacchan…” it felt like such a foreign sentence on his tongue.
Very few people in his past used that term properly. It was mostly just shallow girls who liked his popularity- and who didn’t?- but Midoriya knew that Kirishima was genuine. He had seen how far the redhead was willing to go for his friend- not to mention how important his efforts were towards making Bakugou better, for the lack of better phrasing. The blond had always been stand alone, believing that, if no one was there to help him, that he didn’t need to help other people. Of course, it was more of an ‘every person for themselves’ mentality, but his lackeys- Midoriya refused to call them “friends” of any kind- were shallow, only following him for his strength, and, as children do, he internalized that.
Bakugou believed that people only cared for him when he was strong, so he developed a bad relationship with his strength. Midoriya understood that. He knew that ‘helping Bakugou’ often translated to ‘pointing out his weakness’, but it wasn’t like he could just stop lending a hand to his friend or worrying about him when he was away.
“Yeah… Looking back, I think I guess I always have-” now there was a statement Midoriya could relate to, “He’s just so… manly, you know? And I get it, he’s harsh on the outside, but he’s serious and dedicated and… fuck, he’s just really cool…” Kirishima ran his fingers through his hair, pulling out the ponytail. “But I don’t just like him because he’s cool!” he waved, assuming that Midoriya wasn’t aware of how genuine his feelings were, “Yeah, any guy can be strong, but it takes a lot to have what Bakugou has, you know? He’s so determined and can do anything he puts his mind to- shit, man, have you seen him in battle? Some of his moves- they would kill me, like, both doing them and receiving them.”
It hurt Midoriya to listen; it felt like someone was reading his mind… but that was how he knew he needed to help Kirishima. Surely seeing Bakugou happy with someone else would be enough to kick his stupid crush away… even if it wasn’t, Midoriya figured his feelings weren’t worth getting in the way of Kirishima- not when he talked about Bakugou with stars in his eyes.
“You know, he pretends that he doesn’t listen, but he does... and, sure, a bit of it’s pride, but he always makes sure to give what he takes- like when he paid me back for the night vision goggles, even though I never said I bought them for him specifically. Conversations are chill, too, like- it’s like it’s never awkward with him. We can just sit in silence or play video games, and it’s cool! Sometimes I’ll look over at him and just see a completely calm expression or the hints of a smile, and it just feels like I melt a little bit every time…” Kirishima carried on, fiddling with his hair or waving his hands as he talked animatedly, before looking over at Midoriya and sheepishly trailing off, “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this. Sorry, it might be annoying…”
“No! No! I’m really happy that you’re there for Kacchan… I know he won’t admit it, but he needs a support system of his own. He might have a hard time expressing himself, but that doesn’t make him any less worthy of love. Though he’ll deny it to the very end, Kacchan needs someone to lean on, too, who doesn’t just see him for his strength-” ‘I just wish it could be me…’ Midoriya would never voice those final words out loud, but he thought them.
“I want to support him through thick and thin!” Kirishima’s voice, cheerful again, made Midoriya’s brain swerve a bit. He couldn’t help the way his mind always flooded him with adoration or his longing to be Bakugou’s side; it had always been more of a burden than a help.
“I know you’ll be good to him, Kirishima,” the words hurt. Worse than any broken bone, worse than any of the flare ups when his scars gave him issues, worse than the dreams he had where One For All shook him awake… But, he knew those words were true.
Kirishima laughed, scratching the back of his head, “Well I’ll certainly do my best. I’d never intentionally hurt my bro…”
“I’ll help you win Kacchan over!” throwing his own feelings out the window, Midoriya ignored his heart’s protest, and opened his arms to Kirishima. Of course, the redhead instantly beamed and didn’t waste any time wrapping Midoriya in a hug- it was suffocating and not just because Kirishima was strong and enthusiastic.
“You’re the best bro a guy could ask for thank you!”
Midoriya chuckled awkwardly, or at least he hoped that was the sound that left his throat and not a strangled cry. Thankfully, Kirishima didn’t act any the wiser when the forest haired Hero in training continued to talk, “It’s not that big of a deal, Kirishima,” he brushed the praise off. It was genuine via the sender, but it felt… undesired or unwanted- No, that wasn’t quite it. He cherished his friendship with Kirishima, but this? It made him feel sick to his stomach in a way that he couldn’t even begin to name.
“Why don’t we start brainstorming tomorrow?” He had to give himself a grieving period before he did anything. If Midoriya started talking about this right away, he would start crying, and that definitely would give him away to Kirishima. There’s no way the redhead would pursue a boy knowing that one of his friends has feelings as well. Midoriya couldn’t allow that. He and Bakugou worked so hard to get where they were, as friends? Maybe, and they still had so much more ground to cover. The way he had just accepted Kirishima? It meant something.
“Ah, yeah,” the redhead sheepishly backed up, giving his friend a close-eyed smile, and it was good that he did, because Midoriya had to wipe a tear out of his eye before he could face the other. “Sleep well!” Kirishima cheered before turning around and leaving; immediately after, Midoriya knew that he wouldn’t.
Truth be told, Midoriya already had a rather detailed list of things that Bakugou would like. Contrary to the surface, he was actually into more sentimental gifts as opposed to pricey or physical gifts. Weath-based gifts always felt like an investment to him- someone wanted him to owe them or get them something just as expensive. It was a terrible thing really, but Kirishima already had some exposure to that side of Bakugou after Kamino. Besides the redhead was such a naturally sentimental guy, it would be easy for him!
Easier than Midoriya holding back the tears that were already falling down his cheeks. He was going to help Kirishima have the greatest confession, ever- even if it tore his heart in half. The forest haired Hero set his alarm to wake up earlier than usual; he was going to need time for the swelling around his eyes to go down before he had to get to class.