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“I DONT GIVE A SHIT.”
Fundy brought his hand down on his table, causing tremors to radiate across it. The Raki he’d downed earlier had muted his hand’s cries of agony, yet he was still mortal, and the blow would still leave a bruise.
His fiancé’s eyes burned holes through him. This was not the Fundy 5up agreed to marry. This was not the man who had got him through agony and heartbreak and grief. He was a hollow husk, a shadow of a soul. This was not the man he thought he knew.
Meeting his gaze, Fundy glared back. “I don’t care anymore. Just go,” he snarled.
His scowl, his disposition, his slightly bared teeth: all were claws lacerating 5up’s fragile heart. His lips trembled. His eyes welled with tears, which promptly overflowed their shallow vessels and streamed down his face. “Fine, maybe I will,” he choked out, feebly. He turned on heel and let out a sigh of defeat, finally allowing his shoulders to slump since the start of their argument.
Seeing the wreck he’s created, Fundy finally found his conscience. He extended his arm towards his heartbroken husband-to-be and whimpered out his name.
“It’s too late, Fundy,” was the only reply he got.
From their apartment window, Fundy observed the rain pelt the ground outside, drenching 5up who was already halfway across the massive field below the building. He knew he fucked up: 5up hated the rain. He would do anything to stay out of it, yet still his little feet splish-splashed through the muddy grass.
Meanwhile, 5up’s heart was pounding. Fundy didn’t care about him. Fundy didn’t give two shits whether he came home safe and happy. At least, not anymore. He ran from their tiny apartment, desperately trying to escape his lover and his feelings for him. He didn’t care where he was going, and it wouldn’t matter where he ended up. His world was crumbling, and he had nothing left. A cascade of pain washed over him as he felt his heart break a little—though maybe the pain was from his ceaseless sprinting.
“Wait, 5up!” Fundy barked from the building.
5up halted. He turned around and saw on the opposite side of the field was his Dutch fiancé, sprinting towards him. His taller stature made it easier to traverse the long, flat space, so when 5up finally started sprinting too, Fundy had almost reached him.
When the pair were about 30 feet from each other, 5up finally let go of the tears he had tried so desperately to fight back. The faucet behind his eyes turned on and there was no stopping it.
Fundy scooped up the shorter of the two into a hug and held him tightly. Their bodies were fire as they embraced each other, even as the cold, pouring rain beat down on their backs. What they had created that dreary evening was a passionate connection of hearts that lit a spark, ample to burn the world down.
5up gripped Fundy’s shirt as if his life depended on it. Sobs tore through him. Just minutes ago, he’d thought he had lost the love of his life, and now he was back in his embrace – something he thought would never happen again. He buried his face deeper into Fundy’s shoulder, soaking his own face and his fiancé’s shirt collar.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” Fundy tried his best to console 5up but it was in vain. He just kept on crying so Fundy kept on holding him. Besides, it was his own mess, and sometimes messes are something you can’t fix. “I’m so, so, so, so...” He kept repeating himself like a broken record, meaning to finish the phrase with “sorry” but instead, he just trailed off.
The pair stood in the rain for a long time, just being with each other. The world was big, and the universe was bigger, but the lovers each felt that the other was the only thing that existed or would ever exist. Fundy ran a hand gingerly through 5ups hair, ruffling it slightly as he went. Finally, 5up gazed up at him with wet eyes and a flushed face and drew in a shaky breath.
Without hesitation, Fundy cupped 5up’s face in his hands and gently wiped some of the residual tears from his face. 5up melted into his touch and placed his hands on top of his lover’s, reveling in the warmth on his cold face.
“It was my job to protect you, but I couldn’t even protect you from myself.” A few tears dripped from Fundy’s eyes as he spoke. “I will never let myself get to that point again. I wasn’t thinking, and it wasn’t fair for me to get upset with you. It wasn’t your fault.” His speech slowed, hanging onto the last words that he whispered, letting himself taste them as they left his mouth. They were like a sour candy: bitter, but somehow sweet as well.
5up said nothing to this. Instead, he removed Fundy’s hands from his face and grasped one of them, fingers intertwined. They were much larger than his own, which was comforting but slightly intimidating. “I wanna go home. I’m cold,” 5up squeaked out, his voice hoarse from weeping.
“Its okay. I’ll take you there,” Fundy replied. “Let’s go home.”
The two trudged slowly across the field as a comfortable silence hung in the air. They didn’t need to speak to understand each other, their unspoken words spoke for them: “I love you, I love you, I love you.”