Archive of Our Own ^beta

It all starts like this:

“Hey, Kojiro,” Kaoru says, a thoughtful drawl in his voice that makes all of Kojiro’s hairs stand on end.

It was only a matter of time until Kaoru started getting ideas. They’ve been lounging in the park after practicing tricks for an hour, Kaoru looking vaguely bored as he lies on his back on the concrete.

It’s dangerous for Kaoru to be bored.

“You know that new skate team that’s been hanging out in the old warehouse?”

“Yes,” Kojiro says slowly.

“We should go pick a fight.”

He fucking knew it. “Kaoru, no.”

Kaoru turns his head, slow and lazy, and looks at Kojiro. “I’m not hearing a reason not to.”

“What the hell is the reason to?” Kojiro says, jabbing at Kaoru’s forehead. “You can’t just go around picking fights.”

Kaoru scowls and bats his hand away. “It’s a rite of passage for high schoolers to pick fights.”

“No, it’s not, stop taking life advice from manga.”

“Who should I take it from, you?”

“Yes, since I’m apparently the only one with any common sense here!”

“Heard, considered, and rejected,” Kaoru says. He spins his phone in his hand. “I already messaged the rest of the team, they said they’re in. Are you?”

When they first started skating, Kaoru’s mom asked Kojiro to please try his best to keep Kaoru from doing anything too dangerous.

Kojiro thinks she should have known better than to expect anyone could control anything about Kaoru.

Sakurayashiki Kaoru is a force of fucking nature.

Kojiro rubs his forehead to stave off the headache. “If they start throwing hands, I’m letting them punch you.”

Kaoru grins wildly, the glint of his lip piercing matching the glint in his eye. “I wouldn’t have expected anything else.”

It doesn’t win them many points with the neighbors, but Kojiro and Kaoru usually like to skate outdoors. That’s the freedom of skating, for Kojiro: the ability to find joy on a wall, on a rock, on the railing of the steps—those everyday things you wouldn’t have given a thought to, otherwise.

The warehouse is more stuffy than freeing; it’s dim and lifeless, and Kojiro kind of wants to punch a hole in the wall just to make the air less stale. The leader of the other skate team is this guy with a hoodie wrapped all the way over his head, blue hair falling into his eyes.

He’s sketchy. Kojiro doesn’t like him.

He likes him less when the guy responds to Kaoru showing off by showing off even more, and even less when Kaoru’s reaction is to look at him like his world’s been realigned.

Yeah. Kojiro really, really doesn’t like him.

The guy calls himself Adam. He wants to be friends and merge their teams together. Kaoru sounds like he’s half-swooning when he agrees, and he doesn’t snap back out of it until Kojiro pinches his side and Adam gives them a strange look.

And now, a day later, Kaoru still won’t stop talking about him.

“And did you see his tre flip?” Kaoru says as they sit around waiting for class to start. “I wish I recorded it. I wonder how long he had to practice to get it so smooth.”

“Yes, I saw it, I was right there staring at him like everyone else,” Kojiro says.

Kaoru’s expression goes from sparkly-eyed to vaguely suspicious in the time it takes Kojiro to blink. “You don’t sound excited.”

“He is very cool and can do very many cool tricks,” Kojiro says, “but you’ve been talking about him for like an hour.”

“We talk about Horigome Yuuto all day,” Kaoru says.

“Yeah, but that’s Horigome Yuuto,” Kojiro says.

“He could be better than Horigome Yuuto.”

Kojiro slams his hand on Kaoru’s desk. “You take that back!”

Kaoru squints at him. “Are you… jealous?”

“What do I have to be jealous of?”

“I don’t know, but you’re being weird,” Kaoru says. “Are you worried I might like someone better than you or something?”

“What?” Kojiro says.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” Kaoru says, something calculating in the narrowing of his golden eyes as he studies Kojiro. “He’s an excellent skater, even better than me. And he has a nice voice. Probably a nice face, too, under all that hair.”

“Okay,” Kojiro says loudly, “I get it.”

Kaoru kicks him in the shin, lightly enough that it doesn’t even sting. “Don’t be an idiot. I’m not going to stop being your friend just because someone else comes along.”

“I know that,” Kojiro grumbles. He kicks Kaoru back. “Stop kicking me, asshole.”

Kaoru kicks him again, harder. “Why don’t you?”

Kojiro kicks him. “You started it!”

Kaoru kicks him. “I was trying to make you feel better!”

Kick. “Well maybe how about you do it without the violence!”

Kick. “Well did it make you feel better or not?”

“It kind of did,” Kojiro says, after a moment of consideration. He kicks Kaoru again. “But that’s not an excuse!”

“Fine then, I’ll just let you be miserable next time,” Kaoru says, punctuating the word with a kick.

The little, satisfied smile on his face tells Kojiro he’s not serious.

Kojiro smiles back.

They meet up with Adam late at night on the weekdays and—all right, fine, Kojiro will admit it, it’s fun.

And it’s wild, for sure.

Kojiro thought Kaoru was missing impulse control, but Adam’s on an entirely different level. He goes through life like he knows he’s going to make it out the other end just fine. Kojiro isn’t nearly as confident, but Adam seems to know exactly where to go and when to avoid getting into any serious trouble—though there are more close shaves than Kojiro ever expected to get into in his life.

They’re in another tight spot right now. Apparently, the neighbors didn’t appreciate them practicing flips over the library steps, and they quickly skate away at the sound of sirens.

“Left! Left!” Adam calls out, and they follow his lead into an alleyway too narrow for any cars to follow them through.

Kojiro laughs, wild with relief, when they emerge out into the street on the other side, though they don’t stop until they’ve found a safe spot in the neighborhood park to hide until they’re sure the police have given up.

“You should have street names too,” Adam says after they’ve spent a minute leaning against the wall and catching their breaths. “I can’t go shouting out your actual names when the police come or you might get into trouble.”

“Sounds fun,” Kaoru says. “Any ideas?”

“Hm, for you… how about Cherry Blossom?” Adam says in English, with a little smile. “From Sakurayashiki. And they’re pretty, like you.”

Kaoru, who was already flushed from the sprint, flushes more.

“Hey, hey,” Kojiro says, shouldering his way into Adam’s field of vision and shoving Kaoru behind him. “What about me?”

“Nanjo, hm…” Adam tilts his head up in thought, then snaps his fingers. “Joe.”

“Joe,” Kojiro repeats.

“Like Joeny Hawk,” Adam says.

“That’s Tony Hawk,” Kojiro says.

“Maybe he means Average Joe,” Kaoru says.

Kojiro whirls around to put him in a chokehold. “Why you—”

“Get the fuck off me,” Kaoru snarls, grabbing his arm and attempting to wrestle it away.

“Not until you apologize, you little shit,” Kojiro says, pushing back.

“Who the fuck are you calling little, you’re only a few inches taller!”

“Well, I’m stronger!”

“I can bench just as much as you can!”

“Oh yeah? How about I bench you right here, right now?”

“Are you two sure you’re friends?” Adam says.

Kojiro stops in the middle of trying to pick up Kaoru to turn to Adam, who’s watching them with his usual smile on his face, eyes cloaked by his hair.

“What do you mean?” Kaoru says, readjusting his jacket.

“I’ve never fought with any of my friends like that before,” Adam says. “Aren’t you afraid you’ll go too far?”

Kojiro glances at Kaoru; Kaoru glances back and shrugs.

“Not really?” Kojiro says, scratching the back of his head as he tries to figure out how to explain. “How do I put it… this is just how we talk. We’re not actually mad or fighting or anything.”

“That’s very… aggressive talking,” Adam says. “What if you end up saying something you can’t take back?”

“It’s not like we’ve never said the wrong thing before,” Kaoru says.

‘Yeah, it’s hard to avoid that,” Kojiro says. “But even if we can’t take it back, we can learn not to do it again.”

“You hurt each other like that and you’re still friends?” Adam says, as if that confuses him.

That’s fair. Half the school thinks Kaoru and Kojiro hate each other; the other half has known them since elementary school and has accepted that just because they try to beat each other up on the playground doesn’t mean they won’t hesitate to turn on anyone else who even dares to try messing with the other.

“If never making mistakes was a requirement for friendship, this idiot definitely wouldn’t have any friends,” Kaoru says.

“Oi, who’s the one insulting me all the time, you pink-haired bastard!”

“In any case,” Kaoru says, shoving his hand in Kojiro’s face, “people are more than their mistakes. If you’re willing to apologize and learn, then, in the end, that’s what matters more.”

“I see,” Adam says. There’s something complicated in his voice, and for a second Kojiro thinks he’s going to ask something else, but then Adam drops his skateboard to the ground and steps on it, signaling the end of the conversation. “It sounds like the police have left. Shall we get going?”

They don’t talk about it again.

“Do you think it’s weird?” Kojiro says from the floor of Kaoru’s bedroom.

They’re doing homework, like good students. Kaoru has had proper writing posture trained in him since birth, so he always works at his desk. Kojiro thinks better on the ground.

Kaoru finishes writing whatever he’s working on before he puts his pen down and looks at Kojiro. “Do I think what’s weird?”

“That people think we don’t like each other.”

It’s something he’s kind of noticed before. He doesn’t think twice about how he interacts with Kaoru, but he’s not oblivious to how people look at them when they’re having a shouting match in the courtyard over who was supposed to remember to bring lunch. People who don’t know them just generally assume they don’t get along, and it’s never bothered Kojiro before. But for some reason, Adam’s blunt confusion—

Are you two sure you’re friends?

—that rattles him.

“If I spent all my time worrying about what other people thought, I’d never have time for anything else,” Kaoru says.

“I know, it’s not worth it,” Kojiro says, splaying all his limbs out like a starfish. “But… you’re my best friend. It just feels weird that people think I hate you enough that they’ll come and talk shit about you to my face.”

“You never told me that.”

“What, that people talk shit?” Kojiro says. “I figured you already knew.”

“I don’t care about that,” Kaoru says. “I meant that they go to you with it.”

“Don’t worry,” Kojiro says, “I shut it down fast.”

“Hm.” Kaoru still looks troubled by it. “I still think people need to mind their own business. But… I don’t like that they’re trying to save you from me or whatever.”

“Save me?” Kojiro says.

“That’s what they’re doing when they go to you, right?” Kaoru says. “Telling you what a bad influence I am and that you should be friends with them instead.”

Is that what they were doing? Kojiro doesn’t usually let the conversation get far, and once they realize Kojiro is actually better friends with Kaoru than they thought, they usually leave them both alone. But Kojiro’s never wondered why they tried to start the conversation in the first place.

“Huh,” Kojiro says.

“Don’t get a big head about it,” Kaoru says stiffly.

“What, over people wanting to be my friend?” Kojiro grins. “Aw, Kaoru, are you the jealous one now?”

“Fuck off,” Kaoru says, too-sharp.

Kojiro peels himself off the ground and gives Kaoru a hug. He’s still sitting at his desk chair, so grumbles when he gets his face squished into Kojiro’s chest, but he hugs him back.

“Ka-o-ru, who’s being the idiot now, huh?”

“Shut up,” Kaoru says, without heat. Then, with his hands clutching lightly at the back of Kojiro’s shirt, he says, “Kojiro. I know I’m… not the easiest person to be friends with. So… thank you.”

“Someone has to keep you alive,” Kojiro says, only half joking. “Hey, you’re my best friend, Kaoru. I’m not looking for a way out.”

Kaoru holds him tighter in response.

Adam continues to be Adam.

Kaoru continues to look at him with a little too much sparkle vision.

Kojiro’s not going to lie and say he doesn’t feel it too, because Adam really is amazing, but Kaoru seriously needs to turn it down a level or three. Kojiro can only draw attention to himself so many times before Adam will start thinking he’s the one with the crush or something.

Not that he thinks there’s a real danger of that… as much as Kaoru stares at Adam, Adam does a pretty good amount of staring back, with a little smile on his face that sets Kojiro on edge for no good reason.

But to Adam’s credit, just because he seems to find Kaoru more interesting doesn’t mean that he ever forgets about Kojiro.

He’s coming over now to lean against the wall where Kojiro is, watching as Kaoru practices flips with the rest of the team.

“You and Cherry are really something,” Adam says. “I was beginning to think I wouldn’t meet anyone else who could skate around here.”

“You had a whole team, didn’t you?” Kojiro says.

“Sure, but the rest of them… they don’t skate like us.” Adam’s still got half his face hidden, but there’s something in his voice and the twist of his lips that makes Kojiro uneasy. “There’s skating, and then there’s skating. You know what I mean, right, Joe?”

“I guess?” Kojiro says. He won’t pretend that they’re not better than the others, because honestly, that’d probably be insulting, but he also doesn’t think there’s something fundamentally different about them.

They’re just bigger idiots.

Kojiro likes the thrill of pulling off cool power moves. Kaoru gets his kicks from mastering something new and technically challenging. Also from being a confident little shit. Kojiro doesn’t know what Adam’s deal is, but he’s sure there’s something there that drives him to spend so much of his time on something that most of society sees as a waste of time.

The point is, they spend a ridiculous amount of time on their skating, so of course they’d have more to show for it. But Kojiro’s never been bothered by how many tricks someone could do, and he wouldn’t want to be. There’s nothing good down that path.

“I have an idea,” Adam says. “A way to bring more skaters together. I’m still working out the details, but if it works, we’ll get the chance to meet even more amazing skaters. I could use your help to bring people in, though. You and Cherry are pretty popular around here, huh?”

“Everyone kind of knows everyone,” Kojiro says with a shrug. “There aren’t that many skaters around. And we’ve been at it for a while.”

“I’ve been wondering,” Adam says, “how long have you known each other?”

“Since we were little,” Kojiro says, watching the way Kaoru high-fives a teammate who managed half a flip. A lot has changed since then, but a lot hasn’t. “We’re neighbors. Our moms are friends.”

“That’s nice,” Adam says. “Do your parents know about the skating?”

“As long as we’re looking out for each other, don’t end up in jail, and don’t slack off in school, we’re good,” Kojiro says. He glances at Adam, not that there’s anything to see with the way he’s always hiding his face.

They haven’t talked about Adam’s personal life at all, but the hood and the fact he’s never given them his real name makes Kojiro think they’re not in the same situation here.

“We’re lucky, I know,” Kojiro says. “Our parents would rather know what we’re doing even if they don’t like it instead of having us sneak out all the time.”

“That is very lucky,” Adam says. “And you have each other, too. I have to admit, I’m kind of jealous of you.”

His head is turned in Kaoru’s direction as he says it, and Kojiro feels a little flare of a different kind of jealousy, but mainly he feels sorry. It sounds like Adam really hasn’t had anyone to share this part of his life with. Kojiro probably could have guessed that, from how quickly Adam had latched onto them from the start.

“Hey,” Kojiro says, “you’ve got us now, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Adam smiles. “Thanks, Joe.”

Kojiro thumps his fist on Adam’s shoulder. Maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

Then Kaoru falls, and Adam catches him, and Kojiro sees the sparkles in Kaoru’s eyes and thinks:

Oh hell no.

Kojiro’s late getting up for school the next day because he spent all night zooming in on Adam’s hand around Kaoru’s waist in his mind’s eye.

Kaoru’s all kinds of pissed off by the time Kojiro stumbles outside, tie only half on and his lunch bag between his teeth. They end up basically racing to school, which means there isn’t time to have a proper conversation until later in the day, when they’re on the roof for lunch.

“I need you to listen to me very carefully,” Kojiro says, and Kaoru looks at him with focused surprise. “Do not fuck Adam.”

“What the fuck, Kojiro.” Kaoru yanks on his ear. “I thought this was something serious.”

“I am being serious!” Kojiro says, slapping at Kaoru’s wrist. “Ow ow ow stop that! I’m trying to look out for you here!”

“By telling me who to fuck?”

“Who to not fuck,” Kojiro says, very clearly. “That’s Adam, by the way. Do not fuck Adam. He’s sketchy.”

“You’re out of line.” Kaoru picks up his phone, signaling the conversation is over. “If I want to fuck him, I will.”

Kojiro throws his hands up. “What would your mother say?”

“Don’t get an STD.”

…yeah, she probably would. Kaoru’s mom is very practical that way.

“Forget your mom,” Kojiro says. “What would my mother say?”

Kaoru thinks about that. “Don’t forget lube?”

“She—” Kojiro suddenly remembers how his sex talk went. There were many practical details. He got a neatly-organized care package. “Shit, she totally would. Why are our moms like this?”

“Not sure, but it probably explains a lot about us.” Kaoru holds up his phone. “What do you think about nipple piercings?”

Don’t think about Kaoru’s nipples don’t think about Kaoru’s nipples.

Kojiro slams his hand over the phone. “I am trying to have a serious conversation here.”

Kaoru snorts and pulls his phone back. “I don’t even know why you’re bringing this up. We’re skating, not naked wrestling, I’m not going to just trip and fall on his dick.”

“Do we not remember how you literally just tripped and fell into his arms the other night?”

“That was completely different.”

“Oh, Adam,” Kojiro says, clutching at his chest. “You’re so beautiful and manly. Let’s just stay here and swoon at each other.”

“Shut up, I didn’t even say anything.” Kaoru throws a grape at him. It hits Kojiro’s nose and falls into his hand.

“That’s the problem!” Kojiro says, pointing at him with the grape. “When do you ever not say anything?”

“We’re friends, what do you want me to do, yell at him for not letting me eat shit on the sidewalk?”

“You can say thank you without looking like you’re about to unzip your pants!”

“That is not—” Kaoru’s expression twists. “Get your mind out of the gutter. You’re gross.”

Kojiro throws the grape back. Kaoru catches it in his mouth. Dick. “No, you!”

“Even if I wanted to fuck him,” Kaoru says after he’s angrily chewed and swallowed the grape, “I don’t see why it’s any of your business anyway.”

“Because,” Kojiro says. He’s spent basically his entire life with all of Kaoru’s business being his business and there hasn’t ever been a time where Kaoru’s done something without him, that’s why. But he doesn’t say it because he realizes it makes him sound like a controlling asshole. “Because!”

“Very compelling argument,” Kaoru says. Kojiro wants to hit him. “I’ll consider it before I take off my pants.”

“He is seducing you.”

“What if I want to be seduced?” Kaoru says, chin on his hand. “It feels nice.”

“Then I’ll seduce you instead!”

Kaoru actually looks surprised for a second, which is only right, because Kojiro’s surprised himself, too.

“You,” Kaoru says flatly.

“You got a problem with that?”

“Yes,” Kaoru says. “I’m not going to be your practice dummy while you learn how to flirt, idiot.”

“I know how to flirt,” Kojiro says. He’s pretty sure he’s never consciously flirted in his life.

“All right, then show me,” Kaoru says.

“I can’t do it on demand!”

“Isn’t the point of flirting to do it on demand?”

“No!” Kojiro says. “It’s an art!”

“Right,” Kaoru says. “Sure.”

“Just you wait, I’ll seduce you harder than you’ve ever been seduced before!”

Kaoru rolls his eyes, but Kojiro can tell he’s hiding a laugh. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“Kojiro, didn’t you hear me calling for you?” his mom says, exasperated, when she finds him laying across the couch with his laptop on his stomach. “What are you so focused on?”

Kojiro thinks about whether or not to tell her, but then decides she must have some advice for him. “Hey, mom, how do you seduce someone?”

She fumbles the cup of tea in her hands, but manages to save it from spilling. “Oh? Is there… someone I should know about?”

“Not really,” Kojiro says, turning back to his laptop. “S’just Kaoru.”

“You’re trying to seduce Kaoru-kun?”

“You don’t think I can do it, either?”

“Well, it’s not really a matter of…” His mom scratches her ear. “Why, exactly, are you doing this, again?”

“It’s kind of complicated,” Kojiro says.

His mom sits on the armchair, sips her tea, and waits.

Kojiro pushes his laptop to his lap and sits up. “Okay, so, there’s this other guy we started hanging out with. And he’s fine, mostly, but he’s just—he’s always looking at Kaoru, which is fine, you know, he’s Kaoru, but he also keeps getting close and smiling at him and then Kaoru just starts smiling back because he has no self-preservation instincts in his thick head and—why are you smiling now?”

Kojiro’s mom takes a sip of her tea, hiding her face, and clears her throat. “Nothing, nothing. So you’re worried this other guy…”

“Adam,” Kojiro says.

“Adam-kun,” she says. “You’re worried that he’ll hurt Kaoru-kun in some way?”

“What if he has bad intentions toward Kaoru?” Kojiro says. “We haven’t known him that long. And you know Kaoru wouldn’t even notice until it was too late.”

“Kocchan… are you sure you’re feeling like this only out of concern for Kaoru-kun?”

“C’mon, mom, you know Kaoru,” Kojiro says. “If I wasn’t there when he got pierced, he would’ve been more holes than human. He’s top of the class but he’s an idiot.”

“I know that, and I’m sure Kimiko-chan is very grateful,” Kojiro’s mom says, “but I think you should think about it a little more. What is it about Kaoru-kun and Adam-kun that has you so upset?”

“I don’t see how that will help me seduce him,” Kojiro says.

His mom takes a long sip of her tea. “I don’t think you’ve gotten around to explaining that part quite yet.”

“Right, that,” Kojiro says. “So I talked to Kaoru to warn him about Adam, and Kaoru said he’s fine with it because he wants the experience of being seduced or something, so I’m proving to him that he doesn’t need to go to Adam for that.”

“Because… you’ll do it instead?”

“You get it!” Kojiro says. “Makes sense, right?”

His mom puts her hand on her forehead. “Poor Kaoru-kun.”

“Poor him?” Kojiro says. “What about me, your son? Do you see what I have to do for him? He’s got no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. I deserve a medal.”

“You definitely deserve something,” his mom says on a sigh. “I really think you should think more about this, but if you really want advice on seducing him, I suggest you talk to someone else close to him. Maybe Kimiko-chan.”

That gives Kojiro a great idea. “Thanks, mom, you’re the best!”

His mom still doesn’t look excited by what’s going on, but, as always, she doesn’t try to stop him. “Just… be careful, all right, Kojiro? I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

“It’s Kaoru,” Kojiro says. “We’ll be fine.”

Kojiro’s mom may think that Kaoru’s mom would be the best person to talk to about what Kaoru likes and doesn’t like, but Kojiro knows better.

He waits until Kaoru’s gone to the bathroom before picking up the black plastic cube on his desk. He taps the top. “Hey, KI, wake up.”

“Hello, Kojiro-sama,” KI says in its tinny robotic voice. The cherry blossom symbol on the top of the box glows purple. “How may I assist?”

“Lower your volume, to start,” Kojiro says, eyes darting towards Kaoru’s bedroom door. “And talk faster.”

“How may I assist?” KI says at half the decibels and double the speed. It sounds weird and a little creepy, but it works.

“How does Kaoru like to be seduced?”

KI’s lights spin from petal to petal. “Please repeat your query.”

“Your creator,” Kojiro says, “what does he like in terms of seduction?”

KI’s lights keep spinning. “Please repeat your query.”

Kojiro growls. “You’re not being very intelligent right now, KI.”

“It might help for you to rephrase your query,” KI says.

“What makes Kaoru happy?” Kojiro tries.

“Master enjoys skating,” KI says. “And of course Kojiro-sama.”

“You don’t have to flatter me, KI, just answer the question,” Kojiro says. “Okay, let me be more specific. What can I do to make Kaoru happy?”

“Master enjoys hugs,” KI says.

“Happier than that,” Kojiro says, though he makes a mental note to hug Kaoru more often.

“Please repeat your query,” KI says.

Kojiro groans. “C’mon, KI, you were so close.” Okay, he needs to be specific. “What can I do to make Kaoru happier than, like, hug-happy?”

“Please repeat your query,” KI says.

“KI, I swear—”

“It might help for you to rephrase your query,” KI says.

“Fine!” Kojiro says. “How do I get into Kaoru’s pants?”

The door opens behind him, because the universe hates him, and Kaoru steps through with a scowl. “What did you just say?”

“Hello, Master,” KI says. “Kojiro-sama inquired how to get into your pants. Kojiro-sama, Master’s pants are not in your size. I do not advise trying to fit into them.”

“KI, sleep,” Kaoru says, and KI plays a little chime before its lights dim.

Kojiro looks rapidly between Kaoru and the box in his hands. “Uh, I can explain. It was my mom’s idea.”

“I don’t want to know,” Kaoru says, pained. He plucks KI from Kojiro’s hand and places it back on the desk. “That was negative points, by the way.”

“Points?” Kojiro says.

“You get one every time I’m sufficiently seduced and you lose one every time I want to punch you,” Kaoru says. “Guess where your score is right now.”

“But you always want to punch me,” Kojiro says.

“Good guess.”

“Oi!” Kojiro says. “That’s not playing fair!”

Kaoru folds his arms and leans against his desk. “You’re the one who wanted to play the game, don’t come to me complaining about the rules.”

Kojiro scowls and shoves a finger into his chest. “Then establish the rules in advance, asshole!”

“It’s not like you gave me time to, idiot!” Kaoru says, slapping his hand away. “That’s how the game works. Take it or leave it.”

Kojiro growls. “Fine, I’ll show you!”

“Good luck,” Kaoru says, pushing off the desk and turning back to his chair. “I take it this means you haven’t finished the—”

“Kaoru.”

“What?” Kaoru says, half-turning.

Kojiro draws his arms around him and pulls Kaoru into a tight hug.

Kaoru makes a small, startled noise, and his arms, squished by his side, flap and fall. “Kojiro, what—”

Kojiro releases him slowly. “Just felt like it.”

Kaoru’s expression softens. “Idiot.” He flicks Kojiro’s nose before turning back around to the desk. “Come on. We’ve got work to finish.”

Adam’s idea is to put together a regular event down at the abandoned mine where skaters can gather to meet each other, show off their skills, and race, all without fear of getting in trouble—a paradise all their own.

Kojiro has questions about how, exactly, they’ll get away with fifty people trespassing regularly, but Adam’s confident that he can make it work, and no, he’s not going to explain.

“It’s worth a try,” Kaoru says, because of course he would.

Adam’s cut off the lock at the gates of the mine and replaced it with one of his own. Apparently, no one’s noticed. He also, at some point, managed to get two half-pipes into the area.

Kojiro pointedly does not ask.

They ride down the race route on their motorbikes to scope it out. It’s a good track, but difficult—definitely not something rookies should be racing down. And it needs a lot of work before anyone can skate it without getting injured. The path is unpaved and rough.

“It’d be nice to have a bulldozer or something,” Kojiro says, kicking one of the many rocks off the path.

“Hm.” Adam frowns as he surveys the ground. He’s stopped putting up his hood around them, which is nice for friendship reasons and annoying for Kaoru reasons. “I might be able to make something work. But it’s a secret, sorry,” he says with a charming smile.

Kaoru trips on a rock, which is embarrassing for him, but Adam quickly reaches out and catches him with an arm around his waist, which makes anything Kojiro was about to say die in his throat.

But seeing Kaoru swoon in Adam’s arms again (and reading one too many questionable advice articles online) does give Kojiro his next idea: swooning.

“Mom!” he says, running into the house after school on Friday. “I need the scariest movie you have.”

She blinks at him. “Is this to watch with Kaoru-kun tonight? I didn’t know you boys liked scary movies.”

“It’s part of my plan,” he says.

“Your—ah,” she says. “That plan.”

“He’ll get scared and jump into my arms and then I’ll hold him for the rest of the movie!” Kojiro says. “People on the internet say it works.”

“I think you’re overestimating people on the internet and underestimating Kaoru-kun,” his mom says, but she opens the movie cabinet. “Do you want ghosts or serial killers?”

Serial killers are a little too real-scary. Kojiro starts to sweat. He maybe forgot to consider his own tolerance as part of this plan. “Uh, ghosts.”

His mom hands him a DVD. “If you have nightmares, remember that you asked for it. Have you spoken with Kimiko-chan?”

“No, but Kaoru was already mad enough after he heard me asking KI,” Kojiro says. “He’d probably never let me in his house again if he heard me asking his mom.”

“Who’s KI?”

“Kaoru-AI,” Kojiro says. “You know, that coding project he spends all his weekends on?”

“You asked his coding project how to flirt with him?”

“Trust me, that thing knows everything about him,” Kojiro says.

“And this is what it suggested?”

“I may not… have gotten an answer,” Kojiro says. “It’s an AI! You have to ask in a very specific way. Also, Kaoru might have caught me before I could figure it out.”

“I see,” she says, in a very particular tone of voice.

“You think this is a bad plan,” Kojiro says.

“I think there have been better plans,” his mom says. “But… well, we’ll find out.”

“Bet you it’ll work.”

“Hm.” She looks at him consideringly. “What’s the wager?”

“Loser makes dinner for the week.”

“What about the dishes?”

Her confidence makes Kojiro nervous, but not nervous enough to fold. “Dishes too.”

She grins. “You have yourself a deal.”

Kojiro loses the bet.

Kaoru, being part-demon, doesn’t feel fear. It’s really obvious when he skates, but Kojiro had somehow forgotten that it applies to things outside of skating, too.

Long story short, while Kojiro was so nervous that his hands were leaving sweat stains on the couch, Kaoru was calmly eating through both of their shares of doughnuts. When the credits roll, Kaoru wipes his fingers on his napkin and says, “That was a terrible movie. I’m picking next time.”

“Uh-huh,” Kojiro says, seeing flashes of nightmares every time he blinks. He’s not sure he’s going to be able to sleep after all.

(He can’t, and his mom laughs.)

Being a man of his word, he ends up having to leave Kaoru’s place earlier than usual after school to make sure he has enough time to take care of dinner, and he lets Kaoru know he might be late heading out so feel free to go without him.

Kaoru listens to his explanation, says, “You’re an idiot,” and packs his bag to go to Kojiro’s house.

“You really don’t have to,” Kojiro says as Kaoru marches into the kitchen and rolls up his sleeves.

“Shut up and tell me what to cut,” Kaoru says. Then his voice turns proper and sweet as he says, “Good evening, obasan.”

“Ugh, stop talking to my mom like that.”

Kaoru looks at him poisonously. “Like what?”

“Like you’re a nice boy.”

“Kocchan, stop bullying Kaoru-kun,” his mom says, coming to give Kaoru a hug. “I’m sorry my son is like this, but I’m grateful you’re his friend regardless.”

“Did you not hear what he just said to me?” Kojiro says.

“It sounded to me like he’s graciously helping you with the terms of a bet that you lost miserably,” his mom says innocently.

Kaoru turns matching innocent eyes on him.

“I hate you both,” Kojiro says. He puts the bags of vegetables he got from the fridge onto the counter. “Kaoru. Tomatoes.”

“I look forward to dinner!” his mom sings as she leaves the kitchen.

Kaoru takes the tomatoes from the bag and washes them in the sink. “You really should know better than to bet against your mom.”

Kojiro sighs. “The hubris of man.”

Kaoru snorts. “How do you want these?”

“Wedges,” Kojiro says. “The knife’s over here, we just washed it.”

They work in mostly silence, broken by Kaoru’s occasional questions and Kojiro’s scattered instructions. Kaoru can do pretty much anything in the kitchen, technically speaking, but at a higher level, he’s lost without a recipe or Kojiro telling him what to put together.

Kojiro doesn’t mind it. Actually, he enjoys it. It’s an activity they have just for themselves, with no other teammates involved. No Adam.

He looks sideways at Kaoru, who’s intensely focused on chopping the parsley. The fact that Kaoru’s here, helping him, instead of getting his work done so he can head out to meet Adam on time—that has to mean something, right?

Logically, Kojiro thinks it should. But in his heart, he feels like he knows it’s something different.

Kaoru makes an irritated noise. There’s a small chunk of hair that’s fallen out of his half-tail, and it flaps against the side of his face. Kojiro nabs a bobby pin from Kaoru’s jacket pocket and pins the strands back behind his ear. Kaoru barely gives him a glance, and doesn’t pause in his work.

Kojiro wonders if Kaoru would’ve had the same reaction if it were Adam doing that, and not Kojiro. He remembers the way Kaoru almost faceplanted just because Adam smiled, and his stomach churns.

His mom was right. There was always more to this than just Adam. It’s about Kaoru. It was always about Kaoru.

He turns back to the stove. The sauce is starting to burn on the bottom of the pan.

He never really did stand a chance, did he?

Adam’s event takes off.

The guy is secretive as hell, but he definitely knows how to put on a show. S has everything: catchy names, cool costumes, and the exclusivity of being in the “in” crowd, marked by the S pins on everyone’s collar.

Kojiro never thought skating would make him a part of any “in” crowd, but being a founding member of S has somehow made him the innest of the in. Whether Adam intended it or not, it reinforces his statement from earlier: people see them as different.

It makes Kojiro feel awkward, and Kaoru, too, but he’s better at hiding it.

Adam, though—it’s clear that he loves it. Every night is like a new show, and he draws people further in.

He draws Kaoru further in.

It’s hard not to notice when they start disappearing together. It’s never for very long, and honestly, Kojiro probably wouldn’t have noticed that anything was weird if he didn’t know them as well as he does—between Adam’s showy nature, Kaoru’s stony repression, and both their masks, it’s easy to think that everything’s the same as usual.

But Kojiro can see the subtle satisfaction in Adam’s step, and the way Kaoru’s blush peeks above the edge of his mask.

And, even later, the way Adam smiles at Kaoru before they leave…

Kojiro never really liked it to start, but lately, he’s finding he likes it less and less.

He tries to hide it, though—tries to be friendly, and convince himself that the three of them are still friends and he’s not just a third wheel whenever Adam or Kaoru approach him.

This time, it’s just Adam skating up to him, mask on his face. “Joe. I was going to check out the factory one more time before we officially add it to the course. Do you want to come?”

“Sure,” Kojiro says, looking around for a glimpse of pink hair. “Where’s Kao—uh, Cherry?”

“He said he’ll catch up.”

That doesn’t sound like Kaoru, but there’s no real reason to doubt Adam’s word here. He was probably the last one with Kaoru, after all. Kojiro grimaces and tries not to think of the reasons why Kaoru might feel like he needs time before joining them.

“All right, let’s go,” Kojiro says.

They go down the route at a casual pace—which, for them, is admittedly a bit faster than most others take it, but they’ve had a long time to become familiar with every twist and turn. No one’s as confident in it as Kaoru, who’s carefully mapped it all with KI and studied it until it imprinted into that big brain of his, but he hasn’t caught up by the time Kojiro and Adam make it to the factory.

Adam removes the padlock when they get there, and Kojiro helps pull the doors open. They’ve spent time clearing the place out, so the only obstacles around are expected for the environment: the grooves of the metal, the stairs, the stop-and-go rails—challenges for any skater.

But today, it looks like someone’s left speaker equipment in the middle of the landing.

They hop onto opposite rails, Kojiro realizing too late that he’s picked the one with the broken rail. He grits his teeth and throws his bodyweight forward as he gets close to the gap, grabbing the rail with his hand and pushing the front of his board back and up. With his other hand, he grabs across the gap to the other rail, brings his legs up and around in an arc, and slams his board down, completing the cartwheel.

He’s too shocked that that actually worked to keep track of the rest of the ride. He only startles back into himself once it’s over, and Adam lowers his mask and whistles at him as they both skid to a stop.

“The six-pack skater in action,” he says admiringly. “That was a nice move. I don’t think I know anyone else who could pull that off.”

“I think you’d have to be pretty stupid to try,” Kojiro says.

“Good thing you are, then.”

Kojiro does not have it in him to try to figure out if that’s an insult or not. “Could you do me a favor and not tell Kaoru?” he says instead. “I don’t need him yelling my ear off about it.”

“Don’t worry,” Adam says with a placid smile. “I’m good at keeping secrets.”

There’s a rattling behind them. Kojiro turns to see Kaoru sliding down the rail, before hopping back off onto the landing and then clearing the stairs in one clean flip.

“Sorry I’m late,” Kaoru says as he stops in between them, voice muffled by his mask.

“We haven’t been here too long,” Kojiro says.

“It’s perfect timing,” Adam says, walking towards a control panel on the wall. “I was about to show Joe the new lights I had set up.” He turns back for a moment and says, “Why don’t you take off your mask, Cherry? We’re among friends.”

He starts walking again without waiting for Kaoru’s response.

Kaoru glances between Adam’s retreating back and Kojiro, rising anxiety in his eyes, and Kojiro has an uneasy feeling about this whole thing. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but then Kaoru quickly reaches up, tugs his mask down, and looks away.

For a second, Kojiro’s not sure what all the concern was about, but then he sees it: a dark, angry bruise on the side of Kaoru’s neck, visible in the shadows of his lowered mask.

Kojiro clenches his fist, exhales through his nose, and pointedly looks away—straight into Adam’s face.

Adam’s smile this time is smug.

“Mom,” Kojiro says, face buried in the couch cushions. It’s Friday night, so he finally has a few hours alone to mope before Kaoru comes over after his calligraphy lessons. “I need ice cream. A lot of ice cream.”

His mom sets her hand in his hair. “Kojiro? What’s wrong?”

“I like Kaoru,” he says. “He likes Adam. Who is a dick, by the way. And now I need ice cream.”

“Oh, Kojiro, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s my fault,” Kojiro says. “Kaoru’s right. I’m an idiot.”

“Relationships are difficult,” his mom says. “Especially romantic relationships. It’s okay to be upset that things don’t work out the way we hope. It doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

Kojiro grunts into the pillow. He knows all that already. It doesn’t help.

“Tell you what,” she says. “Tell me what flavors you want and I’ll run down to the store, just for you.”

“Pistachio,” Kojiro says. “And rose. And green tea, for Kaoru later.”

“Kaoru-kun’s still coming tonight?”

“Of course he is.”

“I could tell him you’re sick,” his mom says. “It might even be true after all the ice cream.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to see him,” Kojiro says, turning his head to face her. “I just want to be sorry for myself for a bit. It’s not like it’s his fault or anything.”

His mom studies him for a moment. “You’re a good kid, Kojiro,” she says. “And a good friend.”

Kojiro feels like hearing that would usually make him happy. Instead, he just feels empty.

When his mom finally leaves to get the ice cream, he half-expects to finally break down now that he’s got the whole house to himself for once, but the tired, empty feeling doesn’t turn to tears, no matter how hard he wants them to.

He punches the pillow and shoves his face into it again. “Stupid.”

He’s so stupid.

He’s in the same position when his mom gets back, and he eats half a pint of each while watching anime. By the time Kaoru gets there, Kojiro’s put the ice cream back in the freezer, washed his face, and pulled himself together as much as he could.

Still, as they settle onto the couch, Kaoru looks at him seriously and says, “Kojiro. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Kojiro says with a grin. “Are you?”

“Lately you’ve been a bit…” Kaoru trails off, considering his words. “I was wondering if you were upset with me.”

“If I was upset with you, you’d know,” Kojiro says, though he feels guilty that Kaoru noticed something was off. He taps his knuckles against Kaoru’s skull. “Stop overthinking things, you’ll fry that overused brain of yours.”

Kaoru scowls and grabs his wrist. “If you thought this would make me less suspicious, you’re wrong,” he says instead of insulting back.

Well, shit.

“It’s really nothing,” Kojiro says. “I’m just stupid.”

“I could’ve told you that.”

Kojiro pinches Kaoru’s cheek on reflex. “Oi, are you trying to cheer me up or not, asshole?”

Kaoru pinches both of Kojiro’s cheeks in response. “If you told me what was actually wrong then maybe I could actually try, dumbass.”

“Who’s the dumbass trying to stick his nose in my business?” Kojiro says. “Let me have feelings in peace for fuck’s sake.”

“That right there is the fucking problem!”

“What problem?”

“You’ve always talked to me about what’s bothering you,” Kaoru says. “But you won’t this time, so why the fuck should I believe you when you say it’s not about me?”

Damn it, of course Kaoru’s anxiety would stress him out about it. Kojiro feels even worse now. He lets go of Kaoru’s cheek and roughly rubs the redness away.

“Look,” Kojiro says. “It’s kind of about you, but it’s more about me, okay? I’m just being dumb. I’m not mad or anything, so don’t worry about that.”

Kaoru grabs his hand as it falls away. “I don’t like this.”

“I know,” Kojiro says. “I’m really sorry, Kaoru. If it would make you feel better for me to stay away while I figure stuff out, then—”

“Why the fuck would that make me feel better, you noodle-for-brains?” Kaoru shoves himself against Kojiro’s side. “If you want me to leave, you’ll have to make me.”

“You’re a stubborn asshole.”

“Tell me something I don’t fucking know. Are we going to watch the movie or not?”

“You picked the movie, you put it on!”

“Lazy ass,” Kaoru grumbles, but he gets off the couch to put in the DVD.

Kojiro gets up too. “My mom got us stuff.”

He goes to the kitchen for Kaoru’s ice cream and stands in front of the freezer trying to decide if more ice cream for himself is a good idea.

The answer is yes.

He hands Kaoru the pint of green tea ice cream and a spoon. He notices Kaoru noticing that Kojiro’s pint of rose is half-empty, but Kaoru doesn’t say anything about it.

When Kojiro sets his ice cream aside to hesitantly wrap one arm around Kaoru’s back as they watch, Kaoru doesn’t say anything either, just leans in a little more, head dropping toward Kojiro’s shoulder.

Kojiro rests his forehead on top of Kaoru’s hair.

“Kojiro,” Kaoru says, voice quiet and even. “You’re scaring me.”

“Just… let me be weird for one night, okay?” Kojiro says. “I’ll be fine tomorrow.”

Kojiro can’t see Kaoru’s face, but he can feel when he makes his decision, head slumping a little and his hand coming to rest on Kojiro’s leg. “I’m holding you to that.”

Even though they’ve been eating ice cream, Kaoru’s palm is warm on Kojiro’s thigh.

Kojiro pulls him in a little closer.

No matter what, at least they’ll have this.

S gets bigger, and bigger, and bigger.

As new skaters begin to join the party, Kojiro realizes he and Kaoru and Adam are becoming the stuff of legends. Where before the crowd was mainly made up of people who’d ridden with them in the streets, now it’s so much larger that Kojiro doesn’t recognize half the faces.

And so the rumors start spreading.

The first rumor is that Adam and Kaoru are lovers. Kojiro doesn’t know if it should count as a rumor if it’s true, but it’s not like either of them have said anything officially. They just seem to be getting less sneaky about it the longer time goes on.

The second rumor is that Kojiro and Kaoru—or Joe and Cherry, as they’re only known throughout S nowadays—absolutely don’t get along. It’s a rehash of the same old thing they’ve dealt with since elementary school. They can come together and leave together and Kojiro can hold Kaoru’s haori for him while he’s skating a beef, but the only thing people pay attention to is the fact that they throw as much trash talk as they do tricks when they skate together.

The third rumor, which Kojiro only hears because he’s messing around on the half-pipe while Kaoru and Adam are off in a corner somewhere again, is that there’s a hidden dark side to S.

He hops off the half-pipe, grabs the arm of the skater he’d heard talking about Adam and danger and injuries in whispered snatches, and says, “Hey, what’s going on here?”

The skater jumps in his grip, but seems to relax a little when he sees that it’s Kojiro. His eyes dart around before he leans in and says, “Do you know about the Paradise races?”

“No clue,” Kojiro says. “What is that?”

His lack of knowledge is apparently all the trust-building the skater needs. His wariness disappears, replaced with determination. “It’s a secret race that happens on Sunday night, one-on-one against Adam. He invites you if he thinks you’ve got what it takes. I only know about it because—because my friend raced last week.”

The skater’s eyes tighten in anger, and Kojiro narrows his own. “What happened?”

“The race isn’t on the S track,” the skater says. “It’s on the outside.”

“On the cliffside?” Kojiro says. They’ve skated it before, for the thrill of it, but they’ve never taken it as a race before. The risk of miscalculating or just skidding out off the edge was too high, and they’d agreed they should block off access from the S skaters.

“He fell,” the skater says. “He broke his leg. He probably won’t be able to skate the same, and… I don’t know if he even wants to. You have to help, man, it’s not okay. No one knows how to stop him, and we didn’t want to talk to Cherry because…”

“I get it,” Kojiro says, but if he wants to stop Adam, he knows he isn’t going to be able to do it alone.

Not that he knows how to bring this up to Kaoru, either.

Kaoru’s always been sensible about this kind of stuff, always good at considering facts without immediately getting his personal opinion involved. It’s why people wanted him on the student council so badly, only to be disappointed when it turned out Kaoru wanted to be a delinquent instead.

But all that being said, no one’s ever asked Kaoru to judge his boyfriend before.

What a fucking mess.

Kojiro is really, really starting to hate Adam.

Kojiro feels the opposite of well-rested in the morning. The sky is overcast, which feels about right for the day. He picks his way through breakfast, shoves the umbrella his mom hands him into his backpack, and goes down the steps. Kaoru’s waiting for him by the gate, without his skateboard.

Rain means no skating, as they learned the hard way many years ago. (Kojiro sprained his wrist catching Kaoru. Kaoru was very upset.)

“You look shitty,” Kaoru says. His shirt is buttoned all the way up.

“Thank you,” Kojiro says as he starts walking.

Kaoru frowns and follows him. “What’s going on? You’ve been off since last night.”

“I’ve had a lot on my mind,” Kojiro says.

There’s an opening there for a joke about the size of his brain, but Kaoru doesn’t take it. “What is it?”

Kojiro studies him as they walk. Kaoru’s in a serious mood right now, maybe because of Kojiro, but he doesn’t seem raring to get in a fight. Maybe he should try. “Have you noticed anything about Adam lately?”

Kojiro was wrong—he sees all of Kaoru’s defenses slam down, his shoulders coming up and his lips pressing tight as he looks at Kojiro. “What about him?”

“Never mind,” Kojiro says.

It says something that Kaoru doesn’t press him on it. In fact, Kaoru doesn’t say anything else during the rest of their trip to school, and Kojiro doesn’t try to get him to. He can’t imagine the conversation going well.

The rest of the day doesn’t get any better. Breaks are silent and awkward, to the point where people seem even more nervous of them now than when they’re arguing. It starts raining before lunch, and they quietly eat inside with everyone else instead of climbing up to the roof.

Kojiro prepares himself for a quiet trip back home when Kaoru steps close to him and says, “I forgot my umbrella.”

This probably would have been a good flirting technique, Kojiro thinks nonsensically, and almost laughs at the terrible timing of it all. He hides his expression in his backpack as he gets it under control, and the hysterical feeling is quashed down by the time he opens the umbrella and Kaoru joins him under it, pressed against his side so they both fit.

They’ve walked a few blocks when Kaoru says, quietly enough that Kojiro has to strain to hear him over the beating of the rain, “You don’t try to seduce me anymore.”

Kojiro smiles wanly. He wonders if Kaoru was thinking the same thing he was. “It didn’t seem to be going very well. Figured I’d quit while I was ahead. And besides, you and Adam…”

“You asked about Adam, this morning,” Kaoru says in that same quiet voice. “Why?”

“I heard some things about him recently,” Kojiro says. “I wanted to talk to you about it.”

There’s silence for a few steps, before Kaoru says, “What things?”

There’s something strange in his voice, a hurt, jagged edge that makes Kojiro take notice.

“Nothing about you,” Kojiro says slowly, watching Kaoru’s too-stiff expression. “I just wanted to talk with you about it, since you’re close to him. Kaoru… was there something you wanted to talk about?”

Kaoru slips his hand around Kojiro’s arm and squeezes in warning. “Don’t interrupt me.”

Kojiro stays silent in agreement.

“Lately, Adam’s been… I don’t know if pushy is the word for it,” Kaoru says, and Kojiro is already seeing red. Kaoru squeezes his arm hard. “Don’t interrupt.”

Kojiro clamps his mouth shut.

“Being with him,” Kaoru says. “It was fun, at first. And exciting. Everything was just so fast and new. I thought that was normal, and that things would slow down after I got used to it, but… it never did. And then I started wondering if any of this was how it was supposed to be in the first place.”

“Kaoru,” Kojiro says, and he doesn’t care if Kaoru tells him to shut up, because he needs to ask, “did he hurt you?”

Kaoru shrugs, a small, weak little movement that Kojiro hates hates hates seeing from him. “I told him to fuck off before it got to anything too serious. I don’t think he took it very well.”

Kojiro’s going to kill him. “Did he—”

“He looked disappointed and called me boring,” Kaoru says. “Really not the worst thing that could’ve happened. But ever since S started, I feel like something’s changed, like he’s… always wanting more. I don’t know. It felt like he was testing me, and I… let him, for a while. But then he got frustrated when he hit a wall I wouldn’t let him tear down.”

That’s exactly what Adam’s been doing, Kojiro realizes—testing limits. Playing with his toys to find out which ones would break.

Playing with all his toys.

“Kaoru,” Kojiro says. “I need to tell you about Paradise.”

Everything that happens afterward feels like an avalanche:

Adam barely gives either of them a passing glance at S, setting off a new wave of rumors.

They catch Adam in the middle of one of his deathmatch races, and end up having to take another skater to the hospital.

And then Adam tells them he’s leaving the country, in less than a day.

And Kaoru’s face tells Kojiro he had no idea.

“Oi,” Kojiro says, a hot rage building up in him. “You’re seriously telling this to us now?”

“I didn’t realize I needed to inform you of my schedule in advance.”

“You asshole,” Kojiro growls. “What about Kaoru?”

“What about him?” Adam says.

“You and him…”

“Oh, is that what you’ve been so upset over?” Adam says, as if he expects Kojiro to believe his smug ass didn’t know all along. “You didn’t need to worry. It was never anything serious.”

Kojiro feels his hands ball into fists. “Were you just messing with him?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Adam says with his usual placid smile. “We were just having fun. You knew that, didn’t you, Cherry?”

Kaoru is silent.

“You son of a—”

The only reason he doesn’t give Adam a black eye is because his fist is caught by someone else—not Kaoru, but the somber-faced man they’ve seen briefly with Adam a few times, at the gates of S or picking him up in a car when they were still mainly skating in the streets.

Kojiro looks him up and down. If it came to a fight, he’s pretty sure he would win, but he’s stopped by Kaoru’s hand, firm around his elbow.

“Don’t,” Kaoru says.

Adam’s expression looks almost annoyed, but he turns away quickly and starts walking toward the car parked at the edge of the drive-in. “I would say it’s been fun, but…”

Adam’s henchman drops Kojiro’s hand and follows Adam wordlessly.

“Fucking asshole!” Kojiro shouts after them. Neither of them turns around. “God. Kaoru—”

“I want to go home,” Kaoru says.

They skated here, but skating at this moment feels wrong. In wordless agreement, they pick up their boards and start walking. It isn’t until they turn onto their street that Kojiro finds the strength to break the silence.

“Kaoru, what he said—”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But—”

“If you remember, not long ago, you were messing with me too,” Kaoru says, sharp and cutting. “Drop it. I’m not joking.”

That’s not—That isn’t the same, Kojiro never meant for that to—

He grabs Kaoru’s arm. “Kaoru—”

“Kojiro,” Kaoru says. “I am not in the fucking mood. Now take your hand off me or I’ll take it off for you.”

Kojiro watches him walk into the house alone.

“Did you and Kaoru-kun get into a fight?” Kojiro’s mom says as she watches him pick glumly at his food.

“Sort of?” Kojiro rolls his rice around in his bowl. “We found out today that the other guy I told you about? He’s leaving the country. Tomorrow. And he said he wasn’t ever serious about Kaoru. He was just messing around.”

“Goodness,” his mom says. “It sounds like you were right to try to protect Kaoru-kun from him. I hope he’s all right.”

“I hope so too,” Kojiro says. “But he won’t talk to me. He’s mad about that whole failed seduction thing from a while back. He thinks I was just messing around with him.”

“You never told him the real reason?”

“I wasn’t trying to get in between him and Adam or anything.”

His mom hums. “Have you thought about telling him how you actually feel?”

“What, now?” Now feels like the worst possible time to try. Kaoru’s already in the middle of a jumbled mess of feelings; Kojiro doesn’t want to make things even messier.

“It’s up to you,” his mom says. “But if not that, you need to tell him something. It sounds like what Kaoru-kun really needs right now is a friend.”

“A friend that’s not me, maybe.” Kojiro puts his chopsticks down and puts his face in his hands. “God, he was so mad. I don’t think he’s ever been mad at me like this before.”

“He’s hurting,” his mom says. “And he’s trying to protect himself. But, Kojiro… the worst thing that you can be in this world is alone.”

“What if he doesn’t want to see me?”

“Then he doesn’t want to see you,” his mom says. “But at least he knows you’re there.”

Kojiro wants to go. He wants to. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to sleep, knowing the way Kaoru’s angry and upset and alone in his room. But at the same time…

“I don’t want to make things worse.”

“Kocchan, it’s you and Kaoru-kun,” his mom says. “I know you’ll be okay.”

After dinner, Kaoru grabs the leftover pint of green tea ice cream in the freezer and runs over to Kaoru’s house before he can talk himself back out of it. The numbness of his fingers surprisingly is making it easier to focus.

He steels himself and knocks on the door. It’s Kaoru’s mom who opens it. She doesn’t look very happy to see him.

“Hi, obasan,” Kojiro says. Either his fingers are sweating or the frost on the pint of ice cream is melting. Or both. “Is Kaoru home?”

“He sounded rather upset with you when he came in,” she says.

Kojiro winces. “Yeah, I… messed up big, this time. Please let me apologize to him. If he kicks me out, I swear I’ll leave, but I can’t stand letting him be upset like this without saying anything.”

“He’s upset,” she says, “but he never asked me to keep you out.” She opens the door wider. “Make it right, okay, Kojiro-kun?”

“Thank you, obasan,” he says, before rushing down the hall to Kaoru’s room and knocking on the door. “Kaoru, it’s me. Can I come in?”

Silence.

He knocks again. “Kaoru, please.”

The door opens a crack. The lights aren’t on in the room, and Kaoru’s eyes glint at him from the shadows. “You have exactly ten seconds to explain why I should let you in.”

Kojiro says in a rush, “I’m an idiot I was never just messing around and I only did it because I cared about you and because I was jealous of Adam and not because I ever wanted to hurt you and I feel like a complete asshole and I wanted to say I’m sorry and that you can hit me as many times as you want because I completely deserve it. Also I brought ice cream.”

The door doesn’t move and Kaoru doesn’t say anything for a breath, two, three.

Then Kaoru walks away from the door. “You are an idiot.”

Kojiro rushes in and shuts the door behind him. Kaoru’s already made his way back to his bed and is sitting on the covers, hugging a pillow the way he only does if he’s really upset. Kaoru kneels on the floor in front of him, puts the ice cream down, and puts his hands on Kaoru’s knees, looking into his face. More than anything else, Kaoru looks tired.

“Kaoru…”

Kaoru glares at him.

“I wasn’t joking when I said you could hit me,” Kojiro says, in an attempt to lighten the mood.

“Lucky for you, I’m not really feeling up to it right now,” Kaoru says. He looks down at his pillow. “When you were being weird before, was that…”

“Me having a crisis because I figured out how much I liked you just in time for you to get together with Adam?” Kojiro says. “Yeah.”

“You should have told me.”

“What would it have changed?” Kojiro says. “Other than maybe making you feel confused and guilty.”

“I don’t know,” Kaoru says, squeezing the pillow tighter. “Maybe things would’ve turned out better.”

“We don’t know that,” Kojiro says. “Kaoru… you really liked him, didn’t you?”

Kaoru’s lip trembles despite how stiffly he’s holding it. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I did.”

Kojiro climbs onto the bed and holds Kaoru, tucking Kaoru’s face into his neck so that he can hide his face while he cries quietly.

“I wish it had been you instead of him,” Kaoru says, once he has control of his voice again.

“You’re going to break my heart if you keep saying shit like that,” Kojiro says.

“It’s true,” Kaoru says stubbornly, pulling back to look at Kojiro with glittering eyes. “You’re my best friend. You’ve always been here for me. Why? Why wasn’t it you first? Why only now, after…”

“Don’t ask me how this stuff works,” Kojiro says. He takes off Kaoru’s hair tie and combs his hair with his fingers. “Does this mean I won you over after all?”

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” Kaoru says with a sniff. “It definitely wasn’t your shitty flirting that did it.”

“Keep telling yourself that.”

Kaoru whacks his shoulder lightly. “Ass.” His hand lowers to the bed, as does his gaze. “I don’t know if I’m really ready to…”

“Hey, hey, no,” Kojiro says quickly. “I only told you all this stuff so you’d know that I really wasn’t screwing around with you. I’m not asking for anything else.”

Kaoru’s lip trembles again, dangerously, and he ducks his head. “This is why I wish it had been you.” Then, “And I wish I’d let you punch him.”

“The biggest regret of my life is going to be not punching that dickhead in the face when I had the chance,” Kojiro says. “I’m calling it now.”

Kaoru snorts, and Kojiro smiles, pleased he’d been able to cheer him up even if only by the smallest bit.

“Kojiro,” Kaoru says, leaning in. “Would you kiss me?”

Kojiro hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“I want to know,” Kaoru says, “what it’s like to be kissed by you.”

And Kojiro definitely can’t say no to that.

He doesn’t have real experience, but he’s seen enough videos and has enough practice with inanimate objects to kind of know how this goes.

He cradles Kaoru’s cheek gently in his hand, closes his eyes, and leans in, carefully pressing their lips together. Kaoru’s lips are dry and slightly chapped and stiff against his, but slowly, they relax, and Kaoru presses lightly back to meet him.

It’s a quiet kiss, no teeth, no tongue, just a gentle give and take, Kojiro matching Kaoru’s pace. It’s not hot and sexy, like Kojiro thought all kisses would be, but it’s intimate. Vulnerable. Right.

When he pulls away, they’re both panting slightly, and Kojiro feels warm to see that Kaoru’s flush is visible even in the dark of his room.

“That was—nice,” Kaoru says, breathless.

“Just nice?” Kojiro’s hand has dropped from Kaoru’s face to hold Kaoru’s hand in his lap, and he squeezes the fingers.

“Shut up and take the compliment,” Kaoru says, but there’s no edge to his voice this time. “Have you ever…”

“You’re my first kiss, Kaoru.”

Kaoru looks at him, his fingers clenching in Kojiro’s grip, and Kojiro sees what he isn’t saying, what Kojiro doesn’t want him to say: I wish you were mine, too.

“Don’t wait for me,” Kaoru says instead.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Kojiro says.

“I’m serious.” Kaoru reaches out and tugs on Kojiro’s ear. “Even that, just now—I had to convince myself not to be afraid of it.”

“Kaoru…”

“I’m not scared of you, dumbass,” Kaoru says. “It’s the—intimacy, it’s all messed up in my head. Stop looking so sad, you’re going to piss me off.”

“I’m sorry,” Kojiro says, heart in his throat. “I’m so sorry, Kaoru, you didn’t deserve any of that. I should have noticed sooner.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Kaoru says. “I made sure you wouldn’t. I knew you never wanted me to get with him in the first place.”

“I mean, yeah, but that doesn’t mean you can’t tell me things,” Kojiro says. “You know I’m not going to rub your mistakes in your face.”

“I know,” Kaoru says. “I just felt stupid for making them in the first place.”

Kojiro squeezes Kaoru’s hand. Yeah. He’s been there.

Kaoru smiles at him, a little sadly. “Don’t wait for me, Kojiro.”

“What if I want to wait?”

“Then you’ll be forty and fucking like a twenty-year-old virgin.”

“Why you—” Kojiro reaches over to give him a noogie.

Kaoru wards him off, a real smile on his face as he shoves Kojiro’s hands away. “Don’t kiss anyone prettier than me, all right?”

“As if there’s anyone prettier than you,” Kojiro says. “Kaoru. If I told you I loved you, what would you say?”

Kaoru looks down at their joined hands and squeezes briefly. “I would say… that I already know that. And that I love you too. Kojiro.”

Kojiro smiles. “Kaoru. Could I kiss you again?”

Kaoru flushes and bites his lip. His piercing shines in the darkness. “One more,” he says quietly.

Kojiro pulls him in a little closer.

No matter what, they’ll always have this.

I'll keep you safe until you find
What you're lookin' for, lookin' for
I'll stay with you until you find
Your way back home, way back home

'Cause I will fall for you
No matter what they say
I still love you, I still love you
You'll never be alone

- i still love you — the overtunes