Work Text:
Saying that Tommy's comeback on the field has been rocky would be an understatement. In the few weeks since she started as the paramedic captain of the 126, she got shot at with a crossbow, a dormant volcano woke up, there were wildfires, and one of her team members died. But despite her worries, all of this—the work part of being back on the job—hasn't been her worst struggle.
Going back to work had always been part of her plans, but not so soon, and not like this. She was planning on waiting until Izzy and Evie are older, wanting to see them grow up and be there for them. She missed her job, but she loved being a stay-at-home mom and spending time with her little girls enough to forget that she did.
But then the pandemic happened, throwing all of her plans out of the window and turning the entire world upside down. With the restaurant closed, the job offer at the 126 felt like a gift. It was a sign that it was time for her to go back to work even though she didn't feel ready yet, a sign that she actually was. How could she have ignored it?
The thing about 24 hours shifts is that she doesn't get to see her daughters that much anymore. They're asleep when Tommy comes back home, at school when she wakes up, and although Charles has been keeping his promise to wake Tommy up so she can see Izzy and Evie, it's not the same. This is her biggest struggle; it's a lot harder than any emergency call, because Tommy knows that she can't blame anyone but herself for it. The feeling of having abandoned her family is unbearable, and the one of having lost her place within her own family is slowly killing her.
Charles is amazing, as always. He cooks, takes care of the laundry, does the girls’ hair, and he's just so perfect—perfect dad, perfect husband, perfect man. That should reassure Tommy, but instead, it just annoys her. If Charles is so flawless, if he acts as the dad and the mom, then where does she fit in her own family?
Slowly, Tommy feels her annoyance turning into resentment, and she hates it. She knows it's not fair for Charles, but she can't help it. She's hurt and angry, mostly at herself.
Tommy walks into her home with a heavy heart. She hates getting home so late. There's no one to give her a hug after a long day at the firehouse—the girls and Charles have already been asleep for hours—the silence is deafening, and the darkness feels all encompassing.
Tonight, however, she's welcomed into the house by dim lights, soft music, and the mouthwatering smell of steak.
"Charles?" she calls out, not too loud so she won't wake up the girls.
Tommy is used to Charles cooking in the middle of the night. When inspiration hits him with a new idea, he needs to try it out right away. So she's not surprised to find her husband behind the kitchen island, cooking. She is confused by what he's wearing, though. Ever since he started to stay at home, t-shirts and jeans have replaced button down shirts and slacks, so seeing him all dressed up puts a frown on her face.
When Tommy looks around the room and finds their finest silverware and plates alongside candles and flowers on the table, her frowns deepens. She freezes for a second, wracking her brain to find a reason for all of this. She can't find any; it's no one's birthday, their anniversary isn't for a few months, and Valentine's day has already passed.
"Hey, babe," Charles greets her with a smile, flipping something in the pan. "Dinner will be ready soon."
And here he is again. The perfect man, so kind and strong; the perfect husband who’s loving and considerate. It makes Tommy's heart melt as much as it makes her blood boil. Constantly feeling like she's failing—at work and with her family—is exhausting. She doesn't need to have it rubbed into her face like this.
"What's all this?"
"This," Charles starts, pausing to turn the stove off before walking around the kitchen island to meet Tommy by the table. "This is date night."
Resting his hand on Tommy's waist, Charles closes the distance between them to kiss her lips. Of course, Tommy lets him kiss her tenderly. No matter what's going on, he's her husband, the man she fell in love with, and the person she chose to spend her life with. She's never regretted that decision, and nothing will ever change that.
When Charles pulls away, Tommy stops him. She grabs him by his shirt and tugs at it, bringing him closer. Wrapping her arms around Charles' neck, she leans in for another kiss, more passionate this time. She pours all of her feelings into that kiss. Then lets go of each of those feelings: all her doubts, irritation, and resentment melt under Charles' touch.
"I love you," Tommy whispers, pulling away just enough to look at her husband.
"I love you too, baby," he replies before giving her another quick kiss. "Sit down at the table, have a glass of jack and relax while I finish this."
"I'm gonna check on the girls first," Tommy announces, taking off her shoes.
"Uh, they're not here."
"You—" Tommy's blood starts to boil again, but she takes a deep breath to calm down. "Where are they?"
"With Grace and Judd," Charles answers. "They're safe," he adds when Tommy opens her mouth to argue, "and you get to spend your day off with them tomorrow, just the three of you."
Tommy sighs, smiling at the thought of spending her day off with Izzy and Evie. Charles really has thought of everything.
"Are we really having dinner at 3 in the morning?"
"You bet your ass we are." Charles smiles.
*
Tommy has always appreciated the thought Charles puts into their date nights. They've never been exceptional, but they’ve always felt special for the attention Charles gives to the details. He cooks her favorite food, buys her favorite flowers, or a small gift. More than that, their dates have always made her feel special, so loved.
Charles always makes her feel that way even if she forgot that a little those past few weeks.
Tonight is no different; Charles really put a lot of thought and effort into this. The food is great, the conversation is easy, and Tommy's favorite singer fills the few moments of silence while they eat. Although Charles insists he's no baker, he's even made her favorite dessert.
"You didn't have to do all of this," Tommy whispers, loved in Charles' arms on the couch.
"Oh, but I did," Charles replies with a sigh.
Frowning, Tommy moves away to look at him. "What does that mean?"
"We should go to bed," Charles says, standing up.
He's not one to avoid a conversation, so Tommy's frown deepens in confusion. She gets on her feet, and catches up with Charles who's already in the hallway leading to their bedroom.
"What does that mean?" Tommy insists, putting her hands on Charles' shoulder so he won't walk away.
"Baby, please."
Charles' plea makes Tommy's heart clench, and the sad look on his face breaks it a little. Yet, Tommy doesn't want to let it go, it feels too important to be ignored. Sighing, she takes Charles' hand and drags him to their bedroom. There, she turns the lights on and has Charles sit on the bed. Tommy kneels in front of him and takes his face between her hands so she can look into his eyes. What she finds in them has Tommy leaning in for a kiss.
"What's wrong?" she asks. "What is this really about?"
Charles sighs. "I feel like I'm losing you, Tommy."
"You're not losing me, I'm not going anywhere," Tommy tries to reassure him. "We both knew what it would mean to be back on the field: the 24 hours shifts, the chaotic schedule, the tiredness..."
"That's not—" Charles starts. "It's not about that."
It hits Tommy then. Charles doesn't feel like he's losing her to her job, it's way worse than that. Guilt makes Tommy's insides clench. She's spent the last few weeks being so worried about her role as a mother to her daughters, that she kind of forgot that she's a wife, too. She focused on her daughters, and forgot about Charles—something she always promised herself she would never do.
Staring into Charles' eyes, Tommy finally understands: he never tried to box her out. This situation is hard on everyone and her husband has been trying to make it as easy as possible for her, and what has Tommy done?
"Did I do something wrong?"
"Baby, no, uh-uh," Tommy answers, shaking her head. "You've been amazing, perfect."
"Then why do I feel like you're mad at me?"
Sighing, Tommy gets on her feet, then sits down on the bed next to Charles. "I'm not mad at you. I'm just having such a hard time adjusting to all of this."
"If you're not happy with your job, quit," Charles suggests, but Tommy knows it's not an option. Besides, she loves her job. She might not have felt ready to go back, but she was. Saving lives is what she's meant to do. "We'll find a way to make it work."
"It's not about the job," Tommy admits. "I miss my babies so much. Not being there for all of you, missing events, and not seeing them grow up... I don't want to become a stranger to them. And you've been doing so well as a stay-at-home dad, that I feel like they don't need me anymore, even when I'm here. I don't know how I fit into my own family anymore."
Charles moves on the bed so he can face Tommy. He stares at her for a few seconds, the softest look Tommy has ever seen shining in his eyes.
"The girls miss you, too—I miss you—so much, but we all understand. And we will always be here for you," Charles says with a smile, taking Tommy's face between his hands. "You, Tommy Vega, are the heart of this family, and you will always be."
Tommy's eyes sting at Charles' words, tears threatening to spill in relief. She closes her eyes, then leans forward to press a kiss on Charles' lips. He’s always been her rock, always been there for her, and she's been neglecting him, but she's learned her lesson.
"I realize that I've been so focused on the girls that I forgot about you. I'm so sorry." She supports her apology with another kiss. "I've been taking our relationship for granted, and I promise I won't ever do it again. I love you so much."
She leans in again and pours her love and gratitude into yet another kiss. As Charles kisses her back with just as much intensity and love, Tommy realizes how wrong she was, how unjustified her worries were.
She's a paramedic captain, a wife, a mother, a woman.
And she isn't losing her family to her job. As Grace told her, she's adding to it. Tommy still fits right in, it’s just different now, She fits in in a way that makes her feel whole.