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The sight of Levi angrily making his way through the castle hallways of the temporary Survey Corps headquarters would’ve been humorous if it weren’t for the murderous glint in his eyes.
To an onlooker Levi looked as if he was procuring his next victim, which technically was true to an extent. However, what the man was really doing was looking for section leader Hange Zoë.
Who also happened to be his long term partner.
As the members of the Levi squad crept past their fuming captain into their rooms, they knew not to bother Levi when he was in a mood. Judging by his aggressive demeanor, he was definitely not happy.
And as it was rumored, captain Levi was a terrifying man when confronted with his wrath.
Not that the Levi squad faced the brunt of his anger- they made sure to respect the captain and his boundaries- especially when addressing his relationship with the section commander- a line no one knowingly crossed.
Nonetheless, an angry Levi was a Levi that shouldn’t be reckoned with unless you were Hange. Ironically, Levi was looking for shitty four eyes at that exact moment.
It started after a long day of cleaning the castle. Levi had retreated to his office with a nice cup of piping black tea, hoping to finally relax and perhaps fall asleep. The simple desires of a simple man.
But of course being in the Survey Corps meant there was never a moment of peace.
Oulo, a rather snarky but still trustworthy member of his squad, came to find Levi to report from his night shift. His usual perfect posture was slouched as he gave a sloppy salute while yawning.
“Sir. There have been no significant disturbances from my observation to report.”
Levi nodded curtly, acknowledging the information, and continued to sip his tea. However, the dirty blonde remained stationed in front of Levi’s desk and glanced nervously behind him. Levi raised his brow.
“And?”
“Uh-“ Oulo paused suddenly, looking wide awake.
“Section leader Hange arrived a few minutes ago sir. I’m not sure if I was to report their arrival-”
Levi let out a sigh and set down his ceramic cup.
“No- that’s alright. Thank you for letting me know Oulo, you are dismissed.”
Oulo had never looked so grateful as he rushed out of the room.
Levi’s squad knew about their captain's relationship with section leader Hange. In fact they were shocked and ecstatic to find that their captain even had a lover.
Oulo tried poking fun at the Captain about his love life once. It never happened again.
Despite enjoying Hange’s ability to convince the dark haired man to ease up on his strict cleaning schedule, which all the squad members detested, the Levi squad knew that the only reason Hange had come to their new headquarters tonight was to study Eren Jeagar, an enthusiastic young boy who desired to help the Survey Corps through his newfound titan shifting abilities.
Hange studying Eren meant they would not cease their titan mania until they were satisfied with their research, which usually took extensive periods of time until they were temporarily appeased.
Therefore, this meant Levi would be driven crazy with the infamous mess they always left behind after their experiments. When it came to dirty messes, Levi showed no mercy. Not even to Hange.
And an angry Levi was not to be dealt with.
Hence here Levi was now, trying to look for the mad scientist amidst the large castle while failing to keep his frustration in check. Muttering obscene curses under his breath, Levi hoped to catch Hange and force them to go to bed before they could start their experiments on the poor boy in the basement. Hange had no sense of time or logic when they honed in on their experiments and Levi knew once Hange got started, there was no stopping them.
As the crimson and orange streaks of the evening phased into a dark blue midnight, Levi still couldn’t seem to find them.
Firstly, he had made his way to the stables located just outside the castle to check on the horses. Hange’s horse had been stationed next to his own and had been chewing its hay. Upon the intrusion of the short man, the mare lazily lifted its mane to acknowledge him.
Well, that confirmed Hange had arrived.
After securing the castle entrance, Levi then had made his way around the first of many floors of the castle, searching each and every room. He had made sure to avoid the rooms of his squad, not wanting to disturb their sleep over a matter so small. Subsequently, he made his way to the basement where titan brat was staying. Immediately upon opening the rustic entrance, Levi crinkled his nose.
The basement smelled like absolute shit.
Holding his lantern in front of him, Levi navigated his way to Eren’s cell and eventually found the boy sleeping soundly despite being chained by his wrists. He was curled up in his sheets and looked fairly peaceful.
Eren was captured and imprisoned after discovering he could shift into a titan during the colossal titan’s sudden appearance four years after its horrifying debut. Only after Levi had beaten the boy black and blue was the Survey Corps allowed to take Jeagar under their wing.
He was to be a new addition to Levi’s squad under Erwin’s strict orders. After all, Jaeger’s titan powers were foreign and unpredictable, making Levi the only man for the job of keeping the brat in check.
That didn’t stop Levi from sympathizing with Eren, he was only a boy after all. A boy who was unknowingly casted to play as a political pawn in the cruel game of chess against the titans.
Glancing back at Eren once more to ensure that he was fine, Levi made his way back to the first floor. He had thought Hange would definitely be ogling at Jeagar whilst hastily scribbling down notes written in incorrigible font. However, they were still nowhere to be found.
As minutes ticked by, Levi’s irritation began to exponentially increase. He had just checked the entirety of the second floor and Hange was yet to be found. Shitty four eyes better pray for salvation because he was feeling murderous.
Finally after checking the last floor, Levi made his way to the towers; the last section of the castle that remained unchecked.
There were four of them, aligned with the four corners of the old castle, and all four towers offered a vast view above the cluster of trees that bordered the structure. Each tower offered a small room located at the top of a spiral of many stairs. Those rooms were previously used as watch towers when the previous battalion utilized the castle as their main headquarters. However, after the location of the castle was deemed useless to the scouts (as the castle was located miles from the walls) the rooms were used for nothing but storage.
As he trudged along the long corral of stairs, Levi could only hope that he chose the right tower. Finally upon reaching the top, he was confronted by an old fashioned wooden door that looked like it was about to fall off its hinges. Seeing that it wasn’t locked, Levi pushed open the door to see sure enough Hange sprawled over their desk.
Upon looking closer Levi realized that Hange was fast asleep, their glasses bent at an awkward angle as their right cheek nestled into their arm.
They were drooling. Disgusting.
The desk was cluttered with equipment and scribbled notes. Levi grimaced as he saw a bottle of black ink dripping onto the floor. As for the room itself- heavens save him. It was almost as if Hange had whirled through its contents and left it inside out. Boxes were upturned, cabinets were opened, and holy fuck what is that on the floor? Typical of Hange to leave a mess every room they stepped into.
He sighed, rubbing his temples. He could tell Hange to organize the mess in the morning (as it was the middle of the god-damn night) but the mess nagged at Levi’s consciousness and he knew it wouldn’t be resolved unless he cleaned the entire room.
Whatever, it wasn’t like Levi was that tired.
As quietly as he could, Levi took about half an hour to clean and declutter the room, utilizing the soft rays of the moon from the open window and his flickering lamp for light.
By the time he was finished, the room looked considerably cleaner. Or at least Hange would have considered it to be clean. Levi still considered the room to be disorganized but it was getting too late for thorough inspection.
He made his way across the small room to the door, and glanced at the flapping window planes. The night winds were usually warm but tonight’s winds offered a more lively breeze, bringing in a chill that Levi did not like.
The brunette man searched for Hange’s dark green cape, a cape all Survey Corps members were required to wear, which he found thrown over one of the previously upturned boxes and gently draped it on Hange’s shoulders. He didn’t have the heart to urge Hange to bed- their eyes were bordered with dark bags that rivaled his own.
Everyone had been working intensely ever since Wall Maria was broken through. However, no one had been as tenacious as Hange. The Survey Corps had been able to procure two titans amidst the terror, who Hange dubbed Sawney and Bean, in order for further investigation of the biology behind titans. Hange was in charge of the intensive experiments which went on day and night. Although Levi admits he’d rather not see titans so uncomfortably near, he also acknowledges the value of proper information about titans, for humanity would only be left in the dark without it.
For that reason, Hange had been a strong advocate for titan research and under the reluctant permission from Erwin, Hange was able to delve deeper into their studies. Now with the addition of Eren, the passion for research burned brighter for the section commander and thus prompted them to study harder than they already pushed themself to. Levi couldn’t understand how such an idiot like Hange could draw on unspeakable intelligence and outsmart all of them.
But still, even passion has its limits.
Levi wished that Hange would get as much rest as possible, especially during their experiments. He didn’t like seeing Hange so tired; they became quiet and still, which Levi surprisingly detested. He secretly enjoyed Hange’s overexcited nature- it brought him peace in some sort of strange, twisted way.
Then out of nowhere, Hange muttered something incoherent.
“What’s that shitty eyes?” Levi mused. The tips of his mouth twitched.
“Leejdjlee.” Hange murmured.
“Wanna repeat that?”
“Levi,” Hange breathed softly. Then they furrowed their eyebrows.
“Levi no. Please- don’t leave.”
He felt his smile falter.
Levi and Hange both knew starting and maintaining a relationship while under the service of the Survey Corps was a tragedy waiting to happen.
However,
It wasn’t fair, Levi thought bitterly.
He was always losing everything anyway.
He lost his mother, he lost Kenny, he lost Isabel and Farlan, and he lost so many of his comrades that he had begun to forget the faces that he fought so hard to remember.
This world was utter hell.
Life seemed worthless every time the scouts went to fight with their dwindling numbers and only returned with soldiers who became reduced to mere ashes and graves.
Not to mention there were too many times Levi wanted to give up. Die even.
Maybe that would appease the ghosts of his fallen comrades.
It was frustratingly unfair that humans couldn’t have anything in a world where they were unknowingly born into. In due time, they would all be taken away whether it be through titans or natural death.
So growing up Levi wondered that if love, amongst other worldly things, were simply destined to flicker out like a flame, why did humans try so hard to even find it?
But when Levi unexpectedly discovered love, he found himself fighting harder than ever before to protect it.
Hange was the dazzling sun to his somber moon, lighting up the dark crevices of his broken heart that was worn from years of trauma. They had accidentally shared a glance the first day Levi was to work under the Survey Corps upon being captured by Erwin Smith, then captain and now commander of the survey corps.
His then focus was to kill Erwin and anyone who threatened his mission.
So when he found himself growing fond of the crazy genius who had no sense of boundaries and didn’t understand hygiene, he did everything he could to shut his emotions down.
Of course he tried to push Hange away as well. He denied his feelings and invalidated theirs, ignoring the aching pain in his heart, because he knew he didn’t deserve to be loved, not an ounce.
Yet Hange never gave up on him and slowly convinced him to let himself realize that this feeling was too precious to give up.
The feeling of welcoming comfort as Hange soothingly rubbed Levi’s trembling shoulders while he silently sobbed into Hanges shoulders after nightmares of Isabel and Farlan haunted his memories for many nights.
The feeling of glowing warmth when Hange would brew his favorite tea and bring him to the roof of their barracks in order to distract him with their amazing ability to talk for hours when his insomnia got bad some nights.
The feeling of incredulous wonder when Hange would softly kiss every part of Levi’s face, whispering each part they loved about his overwhelming insecurities.
The feeling of doom and helplessness when they both went on missions, praying to any god that might listen so that Hange would be brought back to him, safe and sound in his arms again.
He had never understood when his mother used to say love would always find a way.
Now, he realized love had found a way to make him more human than ever. It fueled his passion to live, to fight, to look for the impossible in a place where terror ruled human fate.
So, he decided, no. The Survey Corps, the Titans, nor was death going to take his love away. He would cherish it even beyond the grave.
Levi leaned against the wall, gazing at Hange's peaceful form.
Hange had done so much for him over the past couple of years. How could he ever measure up?
The man knew that yes, he could be distant and appear emotionless. However, he just didn’t know how to outwardly show those emotions the way he wanted to express them.
Levi doesn’t shy away from saying what’s on his mind. He says what he means and bluntly so. However the intensity of raw emotion was something foreign he didn’t know how to portray. He spoke sharply, mouth absent of any formal filter at all, barely managing to keep in check in front of his superiors. Hell, he swore at Erwin so often that it was a wonder that the blonde didn’t demote him. Raw feelings, he felt, were to be expressed with beautiful, kind words, words that Levi couldn’t seem to find.
It frustrated him. The things he wanted to say most were held back by what. Himself?
Pathetic.
Therefore, he tried his best to show his love and care for those around him through acts of service. He knew Hange was aware that he handled emotions the way that he did but still. He couldn’t help but feel guilty when he couldn’t give back the tremendous love Hange so effortlessly gave him.
He didn’t deserve them. Not by a long shot.
But that didn’t excuse Hange’s inability to clean up after themselves.
That idiot.
His idiot.
Levi smiled at that thought.
He made his way to one of the uncomfortable looking chairs and sat down with a huff.
Maybe he’ll stay until they wake up so he could force them to clean up the room with him.
Or maybe he’ll lecture them about keeping their workplace clean.
Or maybe he would softly kick Hange in the shins to make fun of the way they snored.
Or maybe…
As Levi came up with more reasons to stay, he felt himself being lulled to sleep by the soft hum of the gentle summer night, cradled by the lullaby of Hange’s soft breathing.
Even humanity’s greatest soldier can’t fight the power of rest.
-
Hange woke up with the break of dawn creeping in from the open window, their cape sliding onto the ground. Yawning, they stretched their sore, lanky limbs and blinked hazily at their desk.
Their organized desk.
“Since when was my desk-” Hange muttered as they checked to see if everything was still there. Their morning grogginess cleared as they realized the area around them had been completely organized.
A small cough prompted Hange to swerve in their chair in alarm. Relieved, Hange relaxed when they saw a sleeping Levi shivering. He was sitting awkwardly in a stiff chair.
Of course it had been Levi.
Although Hange didn’t know when Levi had come into the room to clean up their mess, they knew for a fact that it must have been well over midnight.
A swell of gratitude overcame Hanges heart. No matter how many times he called them “shitty glasses” and nagged at their seemingly ”disgusting” hygiene, they knew Levi cared about them.
Who else would bother to clean up after their horrifying messes?
Hange rested their chin on the crook of their arm, observing the beauty that was Levi. The incoming sun’s rays seemed to dance on the pale man’s face with shades of bright yellow and pastel orange. The light highlighted his sharp cheekbones and perfect lips.
But of course, their words couldn’t even do Levi justice. How they had convinced Levi to love them, they didn’t know. They certainly didn’t deserve it.
So in return, Hange promised themself to give as much love as they could to the dark haired soldier. It’s what he definitely deserved and more.
Finally, after a few minutes of quiet admiration, Hange grabbed the fallen cloak and made their way to Levi. After arranging the cloak around his torso to keep him warm, Hange softly kissed the top of his hair.
“I’ll dedicate my heart to you, Captain Levi. May time dare test our love.”
-
Hange knew there wasn’t much time left. The sounds of rumbling drew frighteningly closer as the kids and engineers frantically scrambled to find sheets of tin to cover the holes in the tank.
Jean was quietly observing Floch’s bleeding body, the steam of the Jeagarist’s gun tapering away. Hange knelt next to him and pressed their fingers underneath his neck.
No pulse, Floch was dead.
There was no time to mourn.
The wicked, the good, was there even a difference? Hange thought bitterly as they remembered what Floch’s last words were.
“Please don’t go… everyone… the island will be killed, our devil is our only hope.”
“Yes you’re right Floch,” they murmured, “but we still can’t give up…”
It was painstakingly clear on what Hange had to do.
Walking briskly out of the warehouse, Hange spotted the rigid forms of Armin, Mikasa, and Reiner on the ports, helplessly staring at the terrifying forms of the wall titans.
They seemed to be arguing about something. Hange could easily guess what was happening.
“Not you!” Reiner shouted frantically, “you’re the only chance we have of stopping Eren!”
Armin met Reiner’s panicked hazel eyes, his own filled with pain and suffering that no nineteen year old boy should have to endure.
They were kids, just barely passing the rite of adulthood, yet they were fighting for the lives of the whole world.
This wasn’t right. It should have never gone this far. It wasn’t fair.
Trembling, Hange mustered the confidence of a true commander. Even Erwin would have been proud.
“You really think I’d let you? We can’t use up any more of our Titans’ powers!!”
Silence. Widened eyes. Hange took a shaky breath.
“I led us all to this point. I kept moving forward, even if it meant killing so many of my comrades. It’s time I take responsibility.”
Hange turned their eyes to Armin, the lovely intelligent boy who was forced to become Paradis’ offensive pawn for so many years. They wished they could apologize to him- to all of them for the things they forced the kids to do.
But time was of the essence.
“Armin Arlet. I hereby appoint you 15th commander of the Survey Corps. The quality of a proper leader is the unyielding desire for understanding. There are none more suited for this duty than you. I’m leaving them in your hands.”
Breathe Hange, breathe.
Out of the corner of their eye they saw Levi make his way towards the ports.
“And that’s that,” Hange stated with their brightest smile.
This was going to be more difficult than they expected.
With an afterthought, Hange let out a forced hearty laugh.
“Oh right, Levi’s your subordinate now. So work him to the bone, okay?”
Oh god that hurt to say. Hange thought as they bit the inside of their cheek to prevent the hot tears from spilling. They couldn’t be vulnerable, not now.
Levi was coming closer.
Leaving the shocked kids behind them, Hange walked up to Levi who lifted his face to meet their eye.
Levi’s blue eye always shone when sunlight met his face. They wished they told him that more.
“...Hey four eyes.”
Levi didn’t know what Hange was planning, he never did. Ever since they met, life was filled with unexpected twists and turns but it was okay because he had them there with him by his side.
So what had Hange said to cause the brats behind them to look so shocked?
“Oh Levi you’ve got it wrong,” Hange’s voice cracked with heartache, “it’s three eyes now.”
“Hange-” Levi started.
“When you think about it,” Hange interrupted, “we match. Look- we both have one eye each. Maybe we were meant to be with each other after all- with your left and my right eye-”
Levi used his uninjured hand to clasp Hange’s shaking ones. They were rambling again. Something was wrong.
Then, Hange cast a nervous glance back at the rumbling. It only took a second for Levi to register what Hange was about to do. What they were about to sacrifice.
It would explain why Hange was so shaky. Why the kids looked like they were on the brink of crying.
“Hange.” Levi desperately pleaded this time.
Hange smiled sadly and took his hand, the one with severed fingers, into theirs and softly kissed it. His hands were cold. Who would be there to massage Levi’s hands until they filled with warmth again after they were gone?
“You understand it’s finally here, you know? It’s my turn-”
“It SHOULDN’T be your turn!” Levi cried, trying to pull his hand out of Hange’s hold. He refused to break eye content though; his eye searching Hange’s for any indication of hope. This couldn’t be happening, not when they came so far.
“It shouldn’t be your turn, it should never have to be your turn-”
Hange’s trembling worsened as they struggled to keep their emotions at bay. It was hard leaving Levi, harder than choosing death.
The both of them had secretly hoped that after this ordeal, they still could have each other. That was a simple fallacy, a dream too good to be true.
Of course, being in the Survey Corps meant that they would never get a moment of peace.
“Levi Ackerman,” Hange whispered, “I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now.”
Levi’s face crumbled.
“So just let me go, will you?”
“Bullshit.” Levi shakily whispered, tugging Hange into a tight hug.
“I can’t lose you.”
“Levi you have to let me go.”
“No.”
“Levi.”
Hange’s quivering hands reached to delicately cup Levi’s face, making sure to avoid his fresh wounds, and gently pulled their faces closer so their foreheads were pressed together.
“I need you to understand something my love,” Hange breathed softly.
“No-” Levi begged again.
“I’m not leaving you- I never will. There’s no heaven or hell that can do that for us.”
The dark haired man let out a broken sob as he clutched Hange’s thin wrists, not wanting to let go.
“I don’t regret loving you- I never have.”
The threat of the rumbling was too close.
“I don’t either,” Levi said shakily, “and I should’ve told you so more often.”
“It’s funny how a lifetime could feel so short.”
A moment of silence is shared between the two.
Then finally, Levi reluctantly pulled his hands away from Hange’s warmth.
It hurt. The searing pain tore a gaping hole into Levi’s heart and screamed despairingly for anyone, someone, to cease the overwhelming emotion that threatened to spill out of his left eye.
Eventually, Levi willed himself to turn away, hoping Hange wouldn’t see his face contorted with fear.
Then at that moment, a hazy memory from a certain castle chooses to set in his brain. A memory that seemed almost like a faraway dream because Levi still can’t remember what happened that moment years ago.
He slowly raises his left fist and softly rests it on Hange’s chest.
“I devote my heart to you Hange Zoë.”
Hange breaks into the biggest most beautiful smile that Levi has ever seen.
The smile that easily rivaled the sun’s bright rays.
The smile so similar to the one that led Levi to fall for them so many years ago.
Levi has to force himself to look away.
“Ha ha! That’s the first time I’ve ever heard you say that!”
-
As the plane kicks it’s engine and takes flight, Levi does not look out the window. He can’t bear it.
What he does see are the horrified expressions of the last remaining members of the Survey Corp, screaming the name of his fallen lover.
He should’ve realized that love could only last for so long.
He was a fool for thinking it could last longer
With a numb expression and a broken heart, Levi kisses the same hand Hange had kissed just moments earlier and desperately clings onto the beautiful memory that once was and never will be again.
“See you later… Hange.”